Original subtitles

Wait. - Hi. - Erm, sorry, you've...

- What? - May I?

You've got the tag still on.

- No. No!

Oh!

Oh, my God, tell me it's not true.

- Were you going to return that? - No.

I just... Will you stay with me for a sec while I process the fact

I've been mixing with a tag hanging out?

- Hey, hey, happens to the best of us. - Oh.

- Er, earlier, a lady without shoes

actually squirted lime juice in my eye and I'm in...

I'm in quite a bit of pain...

- Yeah. - ..actually. Is it...? Is it bloodshot?

- Not in the slightest, actually.

- Good. It did happen, by the way.

It wasn't just a ruse to get you to look at my eye. - Hmm.

Right, processing over. I'm going to the cinema.

Yep. - Oh, really? What's...?

What's on at the cinema?

- Brief Encounter. - Oh, no.

- No? - No, no malaise. I can't do malaise.

And I hate sad endings.

- What?!

No, I love sad endings!

Yeah, unconsummated love, restrained pain - in black and white.

Yes, please! - Oh, sorry.

One large order of unconsummated love, please.

- Comin' right up. Thank you.

- You know, I think I'm all mixed out.

Freshers' week's a lot. - You can just leave, you know?

- Can I? - One can. - One can. But I can't.

- OK, I'm going to give you permission.

No talking at me through the film, though.

I'm very strongly against that.

- God no.

- Wait, can you even watch a film with lime eye?

- Wha... What's that? - You've got lime eye, right?

- Right, is that a thing? - Yeah.

- Am I going to die?

- Mm-hm.

I promise you that is going to happen.

That is absolutely going to happen. You are going to die, yeah.

But at least you had a life with all that eye.

- Yeah, but, seriously, I need you to tell me I'm not going to die.

- Oh. Oh, no, you're not going to die.

- Ever? - Ever.

- Forever ever.

- Forever ever.

- I don't know your name.

- Hi.

- Just thought I should drop in.

Check you're all right on D-Day.

You know I can't stay long.

- I know. Didn't ask you to.

- I know, I know. I just feel like I have to warn you, Evelyn.

- Consider me warned, Kamran.

- What man's voice is that?

- It... It's Kam!

- Oh, hello, Kam, darling.

# Fat Sam's Grand Slam speakeasy! #

- Oh, I could cry!

You were incredible. - Thanks, Suz.

- Mum, I made you some toast. - Hmm.

Why don't you bung in some of them little potato people

from the freezer? - OK.

- A big old night, last night.

- Hello. - Des, have you got any of those fizzy vitamin things?

Mum's in a bad way. - Next to the face wipes.

Hey, wonderful to see your name in lights, by the way.

- What?

Fucking hell, Evie.

- Hmm. - "See ya"? - Mm-hm.

- Hmm. Eight years of friendship ends in "see ya".

- Yep. He didn't want a dramatic goodbye, which is classic.

Apparently, he wrote down his new address and put it in an envelope.

So maybe that was some kind of attempt... - Ahh!

Evie...

..it wasn't his address.

It's all coming back to me.

I was wearing Josh's coat, by accident.

I found it in the pocket, I thought it was for me,

so I...I opened it.

- Sorry, so there's a letter in Josh's pocket with Evie's name on it

and you think it's for you?

- Well, I'd had a lot to drink.

- She did, to be fair. - Yes - thank you, Evie.

I'm not some kind of bloody lush.

You lot are allowed to get on it like a car bonnet.

When does Mumma get her release? - Mum, where is it?

- Where is it? Yes, that's a good question.

So... I-I... I think I put it somewhere safe.

Especially now I know that we're living with a thief.

- You think he stole it?

- Well, how the fuck do you think it got in his pocket, Evie?

- Sorry I'm...I'm catching up. Josh's mum didn't know he had a girlfriend?

- Nope! And she's got two dishwashers.

- And he stole a letter from Noa? - Yes.

Bloody master puppeteer had us wrapped round his bloody finger.

- Quite Talented Mr Ripley of him, actually. - The letter?

- The letter, the letter, the letter, the letter...

- What did it say?

- W... It said...

Well, why don't I try and remember the feeling?

Cos sometimes you remember the feeling

when you're a bit fuzzy, don't you? So I felt...

I felt...

I felt...

..sad.

- Sad? - Yeah, I think.

But that might be because I found out that Josh is a liar

and a stealer. - OK, let's look for it.

- Yes! Yes, yes! - Hmm.

- But Kam can't stay. - Oh.

- And that's fine, Kamran.

- I just don't want this to be the moment I look back upon and regret

when I'm sat on my rocking chair.

Kicking the can so far down the road, what if...

What if this is the end of the road?

- Darling, I have to say, I'm shocked you're confiding in me.

We were really never that close.

- Samantha, you're the only person I know that would drink at this hour.

- Do you know what?

That is beautiful.

May I ask why in holy heaven you picked this bar?

- It's where he first met the girl.

- Oh. Was I there?

- That's it, I've decided.

I'm going to go. Get an earlier train. I need to just...

..leave.

SHE SIGHS

- What?

- I just feel like...

..I might've done loads of things wrong.

- Oh, my God, Mum.

You just had a bit too much prosecco.

You're being way too hard on yourself.

- I don't just mean last night.

- You're the best mum in the world.

- I'm not perfect, though, Evie.

- No, you're not perfect,

but you're the best.

Pooch!

- Go on.

- Pooch!

- Go on.

- Pooch!

Oh, she told you, didn't she?

- Yes, obviously. - Fuck's sake.

Where did they think you were staying?

Stevo's.

- And your nana? - Fine.

- Jesus, that is a very long, elaborate lie.

Why would you do that?

- That's just how much I love you.

- What does that mean?

- The love -

drives you mad.

And...

Yeah, I have done some mad shit.

I get that.

But I just want to be honest with you, now.

I did take something and hide it from you.

I was going to chuck it, but I left my jacket in the...

- We know.

- OK.

I didn't read it.

I promise.

I just didn't want him stealing you away from me.

Agh...

Look, is there anything I can do to make it up to you?

- OK, Josh is going to help us look. - He can access Mum's psychology,

which is... It's so fucked, but I need to know where it is.

Suzo.

- Suzanne.

- OK, so...

Suzanne was pissed.

- Not pissed. - So she will have been craving a snack.

- Not pissed. - Mm-hm.

But she wouldn't have wanted to make a mess prepping anything,

so would have gone for ease.

Some biccies, perhaps?

No. Cos the seccy at the pub's far from dry,

so she won't have wanted sweet.

Strictly savoury.

But my guess is that you partook in some chunky chips at the pub.

Yeah, so she wouldn't have gone for the guilty drawer.

It would have been nuts and crackers.

And, as you've approached, envelope was under the arm?

Yeah. She's reached in, not realising that it's dropped down.

Yep, there it is.

So you didn't actually kiss?

- No.

- So nothing happened?

- It did. - Not really.

- I should've told you.

- Yeah, but you are telling me now.

- Josh, why would you want to be with someone

who has doubts about you?

You clearly have doubts about me, too.

- But isn't the love bigger than the doubts?

Was it ever?

- There were so many times, I promise.

We were really close.

- "Were?"

- I'm sorry, Josh.

- I don't blame you.

I do blame him a bit.

And me.

And your dad.

- My dad? - Well, we're just men.

I've just got this... like, such a strong image...

..in my head. Um...

Can I... Can I just share it with you? Do you mind? - Go on.

- It's me...

..in our kitchen...

..and I'm making us lasagne...

..and I've got one kid on my shoulder

and I've got another kid on my back.

And you walk down the stairs, and I say, "Boys,

"doesn't Mummy look beautiful?"

And they say, "Yeah, Mummy, you do."

And then I say, "Right, boys, it's table time."

And the oldest one, he jumps off and he says,

"Don't worry, Mamma, you just sit down,

"I'll get you a knife and fork."

And then I say... - What do I say?

- What do you mean?

- What do I say?

- Well, you um...

Er...

- Thank you.

- Yeah.

- I don't know if I should open this.

- It's not my address.

- I know that.

It's too late.

- Open it.

- Is this going to make me lose the plot?

- Maybe.

Just a little bit.

- Annoying.

Noa.

PHONE BUZZES

- What? - I'm calling you.

Are you going to pick up?

- I thought you didn't want a big dramatic goodbye.

- You know what I'm like. - Yeah, I do.

Will you make your bloody mind up, please?

My legs won't work.

Jelly. No bones.

What do I do?

- I've remembered what it said. - Eh?

- I need to help him, but I can't go like this.

Maybe I could have a few shots of something?

- Yeah, OK. - Or I could write him something

and you could deliver it for me?

- No, I think it's probably you he wants to see, babe.

- Iz, could you get some weed? - Evie! I don't know where to get weed.

- I do. - What?

- No, I'm... I don't.

- OK, I'm just going to wait. I'm just going to wait a sec

until I calm down. You know?

Pause action until serenity enters.

- Yeah, but what time's his train leaving?

- Just over an hour. - I don't think serenity's going to enter in time.

- Maybe you're not supposed to be like this, babe.

Maybe you are supposed to be like this...

- Yeah, cos, like, what actually happened?

Eves, I do have to say all that happened was you got sad,

acted weird and then locked yourself in the house for six months.

Like, maybe it's the feelings that are scary, not the world.

- Yeah, that's it! It's just your personality, babe.

But you've done a lot with that...personality -

like, galaxies and magic and rainbows.

You know, all while you were...

You know. So what's a little stopping the love of your life

getting on a train to Bristol?

- What if I lose the plot?

- Hey.

All feelings are for feeling.

- Since when?

- Hang on a minute.

I've got an idea!

What if you don't go as yourself, babes?

- What the fuck?

- I'm Babby Streisand.

- # Never gonna fall for - Modern love

- # Walks beside me - Modern love

- # Walks on by - Modern love

- # Gets me to the church on time

- # Church on time

- # Terrifies me - Church on time

- # Makes me party - Church on time

- # Puts my trust in God and man. #

ENGINE FALTERS

- Oh, well, that's not good.

- ENGINE FALTERS AND STOPS RADIO STARTS AND STOPS

- Oh.

- ENGINE AND RADIO START THEN STOP

- Oh, baby.

- ENGINE FALTERS

- Eves. Eves!

- You owe me.

- HE SIGHS

I do.

- Go and get our boy!

- # Never gonna fall for - Modern love

- # Walks beside me - Modern love

- # Walks on by - Modern love

- # Gets me to the church on time

- # Church on time - Terrifies me

- # Church on time - Makes me party

- # Church on time - Puts my trust in God and man. #

Completely overwhelmed.

What are you doing here?

- You wanted me to come.

- Right.

Please, sit.

- Formal.

It's over with Josh.

- Oh.

- I got your address.

- And...

..do you approve of my address?

- I fucking love your address.

- Really? - Entirely.

- Oh, my heart is, um...

..exploding.

What happens now?

- Excuse me, um, you can't sit in here unless you're paying customers,

um, so I'm going to have to ask you to be paying customers.

- OK. Two cups of tea, then, please.

- Yeah. What kind of tea would you like? We've got, um,

lemon and ginger, chamomile...

- Noa? - Um...

- Breakfast, please.

- ..peppermint, peppermint and liquorice, we've got lapsang.

- Breakfast, please. Breakfast.

- So what's going on with you two, then? - Just the tea, please.

- Well, I'm not a waiter,

so I'm afraid you're going to have to come over here and pay.

- Shall we run away?

- Where would we go?

- Hydra. - What? Why Hydra?

- I don't know. I think artists used to go there.

- Yeah, but we're not artists. - You are.

You are.

- Wait, they don't have cars there.

- We can't drive.

- Yeah, I know, but I want to learn. That's what I should do!

I should learn how to drive. - Learn how to drive in Bristol.

They have the best roads in the UK. - Is that true?

- I don't know. I'm just trying to get you to come with me.

Look, we'll buy a house with really high ceilings.

- With what money? - And we'll fill up the shelves, all the way to the top.

- With all the novels that I'm apparently going to write?

- With all the novels you will write.

And we'll have dinners, with wine.

We'll make our five-year plan.

- Wine makes you ill.

And I don't think I'm ready for a five-year plan.

I don't even have a one-day plan.

Because in order to have a plan, you have to...

..know what you want.

- OK, OK, let's...let's scratch that.

The point is you can be whoever you want to be

and I'll be whoever you need me to be.

- Noa.

- Thousands of people we could be,

so many worlds we can live in.

- We have to live in this one.

The real one.

In this one, you go.

- I'm staying.

- You can't.

You can't. - Look Evie, I have been unknowable.

Let me try and be knowable.

- I've always known you.

We never really had to meet, did we?

If you stay we'll just...

We'll keep going deeper and deeper,

until our brains fucking explode.

You'll be sat there with my brains all over your face, thinking,

"I didn't do any of the things I wanted to achieve in my life."

It's not the right time, is it?

- Please.

- You have to get on that train, Noa.

We have to move this forwards.

- Please.

- I'll never get better if you stay.

I need to do this on my own.

- OK.

OK.

Oh, what a shit ending!

- Yeah.

We can whack a great soundtrack on it.

Be fine.

Piano Concerto No 2 by Rachmaninoff

- Oh, baby, we were coming to get you.

Ziggy's dad's gone to get his jump leads.

Knight in shining armour. Well fit.

So, where's our prince?

Are you two the Love Story?

- We're the Love Story.

- Eves! - Baby!

Oh, well, tell me you snogged him.

Oh. Fucking hell!

- I saw Romeo Montague with a face like a slapped arse, earlier.

You broke up? - Yeah. - So you really are a spinster, now.

You might even qualify as a thornback, you know.

- Genius.

- Your mate didn't stay? - No.

- Oh, tough luck, House Arrest.

No job, no mates. - Callum!

- Sorry.

Oi. - Oi yourself!

- Here.

See ya later, Havisham.

- Now, I don't have to go out if you want some company.

Steph says she's more than happy to come and sit with the girls.

- No, you two go. Have fun.

What duet are you going to doing? - Guilty.

I don't know how Steph's going to do Barry Gibbs, but we'll see.

I just hate how early these places close.

It's like I just want to carry on! I want to carry on!

- Yeah. - What are you going to do?

- I don't know. - Oh.

- It's good.

- It's good, though.

OK, Havers.

Cannot believe you got into my head,

but it kind of works, so maybe you're not full fruit loops.

I've been thinking about why you piss me off

and I realise maybe it's cos we're similar, me and you.

You lock the door from it all and I pedal away.

You can't go out and I can't stay in.

I thought that was the sum total of us.

But seeing you cycle off on my bike,

I have to admit I was pretty impressed.

You changed the game.

You made me reckon maybe one day Mrs Merz will let me back in school

and maybe I'll kick the urinal a bit, but not off the wall.

For someone so tapped, you're pretty determined, you know.

And maybe if you keep trying to leave the gaff,

I'll keep trying not to be a hoodlum.

I read this book till it got boring,

and this quote made me think of you.

"I must be taken as I have been made.

"The success is not mine, the failure's not mine.

- "But the two together make me."

Tell anyone about this and I'll deck ya.

From Callum.

- Happy New Year, Callum. - Happy New Year, Evie.

FIREWORKS EXPLODE

LAUGHTER

- I can't believe she can go places now,

but we're still in the fucking garage.

- It's the Carry On, Isobel, it's not the garage.

- It's the garage, Suz.

Where is madam with the champers?

- Right, come on, it's game time.

One two, one, two.

Right, let's play Under The Rug, or...shot.

- Under The Rug? - Yeah, tell the truth. - You've got to tell the truth.

- Mum, you start. - Mm-mm.

- Oh, come on, Suz, don't be boring.

- Fine. OK, I'd rather be in the good room.

- What about Evie's lasagne?

- It's delicious. - Mum, the truth!

- OK, fine, it's vile!

But nobody tell her. And...

I really fancy Ziggy's dad!

- Agh! - Oh.

- Mint!

Right, come on, Izz-whizzy-woo, your turn.

- Um... I'm actually a bit loaded from all the dogs.

- Are you - you're loaded? - Oh. - Yeah, loaded.

Steph, you're next. And I want to ask you yours.

- Right. - Um, what was your job?

- No. Boo. - Oh, come on!

- Sammy?

- I am two weeks sober.

- Oh, yay! - Aw!

Sam? - Oh, it's New Year's Eve, darling. It doesn't count!

- Baby girl! - Hi.

- PARTY HOOTER

- Hey, does anyone want some more lasagne? - Oh, me, please!

- What so funny?

- Nothing. We're just... We're just playing Under The Rug.

- Oh, OK. - Mm-mm-mm!

- I have decided, even though I might be terrified every day

for the rest of my life, I'm not going to let it stop me

from making stuff happen.

- Aw!

Fair fucks, girlies.

PHONE RINGS

- Oh, Jesus Christ!

Ah, it's nearly midnight. Everyone outside.

Ziggy's dad's doing fireworks.

- I just need to set the lyrics up for the Auld Lang Syne sing-song.

- Don't think we need the lyrics for the Auld Lang Syne sing-song, babe.

- Mum, it's my personality.

- Yeah. It's your personality.

Right, see you outside when you're ready.

Come on! - Mum, let's go. - Right, OK. - We're going to miss the fireworks.

- LAUGHTER

Six, five,

four, three,

two, one! Happy New Year!

- FIREWORKS EXPLODE CHEERING

DOOR OPENS

I had to give it a better ending.

- Go on, break it.

- FIREWORK EXPLOSIONS CONTINUE