Original subtitles

STONE CLATTERS ON WINDOW

STONE CLATTERS

SIGHS

KNOCKS ON DOOR

- Not smothering!

- She was intolerable. Sensible, straight As, dead nice.

First one of us to go to uni. Fancy career.

Couldn't believe it when she moved back home.

I still don't fully get why a grown-arsed woman

wants to wear wigs in a garage, but...

- She just needs patience, I reckon.

Understanding.

- How do I do that?

- Maybe it's just space?

Giving her the permission to feel the things that she's feeling.

- I just feel like she's going backwards.

- A wobble isn't a fall.

While she's wobbling, she just needs the right people round her.

People who care.

- OK.

- It's pissing me off now!

Scared us half to death acting like One Flew Over The Cuckoo Tree

and then locking herself in the garage for a week,

like Joan Arc...Jane of bloody Fonda.

When did she sneak back in?

- Mum, I'm just going to go and speak with her. - No, Isobel...

No, don't, cos she thinks we can't mind our own business.

Isobel!

- Why are you doing that?

Mum's been reading about you lot.

- You lot?

- She's been researching brain foods.

Foods that heal the brain.

- Right.

What are they? - Pumpkin seeds.

- OK.

- She's had a lot of revelations while you've been away.

- I've been in the garage.

- At one point, she thought you needed an exorcism.

Next day she was listening to seven hours of Brene Brown's Daring Greatly.

What have you been watching in there?

- Well, I started with Dog... - Oh, I don't actually care.

You slammed a door.

- Yep.

- You've never slammed a door.

- Sorry. - No, I liked it.

Maybe just feel it, Eves.

- Feel what?

- Whatever it is you keep pegging it away from, I don't know.

- I'm not smothering...

I'm...I'm just wondering why you're not setting up.

Cos it's Noa's last week, isn't it?

His last film club tonight? - It's done, Mum.

- It's not done, Evie. - No, it is.

You're right, I need to grow up.

- Where did your little head go in there?

Well, what did you watch? All your faves?

Fucking hell! - Whoa, sorry! - What are you doing here?

- I'm sorry, Suz, sorry. Yeah, I'm...

Well, I'm helping little one with all her shite.

- Her shite? - Not shite, stuff.

- Mm-hm...

- So, how me girls doing? - Women.

- What? - We're not girls, are we, Josh? We're women.

- Yeah, but you're my girls, aren't ya?

- Mum, can you give us five mins?

- Mm-hm.

- Oh, there's a treat for you on the kitchen counter, Suz-o.

- Mm-hm.

- Just going to grab them there B-bags, yeah.

- Don't believe a word that comes out of his mouth.

- What? - Don't believe a fucking word that comes out of his mouth.

The smiling assassin.

- I was dead worried, babe.

- All I did was lock myself in the garage for a week.

- I thought that I'd done something wrong.

- No!

No, you haven't done anything wrong.

- OK. - It's me.

I need to get a grip. - What do you mean?

- Mum had a ten-year-old and a seven-year-old when she was my age.

I'm pathetic.

- You... - I wasn't always like this, you know.

I was helpful, I was useful.

- You are perfect.

Exactly how you are.

- Why are you so patient?

- Because I get it. I get you.

- But I'm not functioning.

- I can function for the both of us.

- I'd quite like to function.

- I've got function for two.

- I know you do.

I just think I...

I want to know what I want, and things like that.

Cos I used to know.

- OK.

But I kind of know what you want for you,

cos I'm like the Evie whisperer.

- What do I want?

- Er... You want a snug?

- Thanks.

Are you taking this...

..object?

- Er, no.

Yes.

OK, Noa!

Hey, listen, I didn't know what was happening with Film Club tonight.

I wasn't sure it would be on.

So, um...

..I have swapped shifts with someone,

and I did book us in for a...

..a last supper, of sorts.

- OK, um... OK.

Thanks. - That's great.

- Oh, put some fucking sleeves on, Judas.

- Hey, babe. You're under arrest...

..for being too damn sexy.

- Ugh!

Babe? Where are you?

- Dogs.

- I've got a plan.

I'll bung you 20 quid, you nip down the party shop in the village,

get all the gubbins you can.

Cos we are doing Film Club.

- What? - I love you.

- Izzie.

- All right? - Thank God you're here.

Come in. Noa's upstairs.

- Hiya.

- What's that?

- Lasagne ingredios.

Yeah, I thought that I could rustle it up for us tonight.

Suz?

- Yes, Josh?

- You do like lasagne, don't you?

- Yeah. I like lasagne.

You bloody lied!

- No, I didn't lie.

- Well, what do you call it, then? - Protecting.

Yeah, I do... I do call it protecting, yeah.

- She didn't know who the fuck I was.

And the way you spoke to that girl!

- I did tell you not to come.

Look, I don't want this contaminated. - "This?" - Us.

My mum would just judge her.

- Or is it you that's judging her?

- I feel like I've finally found this thing that I'm good at

and I don't want her, like, shitting on it.

- So you just keep her hidden away for the rest of your life?

- It's OK for things to be separate sometimes, Suz-o.

- No. There is a difference between separate and secret.

She's not your imaginary friend.

- Please, Suz, I need this. - So she's not allowed to exist in your world

but you want to be king of hers?

No, I don't think.

- This is just like... this is where I feel safe, that's...

- BREATHES SHAKILY

- Come here.

All right, Josh, you're all right.

- Look, I need you girls.

I kind of think that you girls need me as well, to be hon...

Sorry. Fuck! Er, women.

Please can you just accept my apology?

- I think we need a bit of space.

- Right.

Well, I'll just take that stuff

to the chazza... - No, no, you leave that there.

- Yeah.

Can you please not tell her?

- Pooch? Pooch, where you going? Don't leave.

- Erm...

It's just, er, Nana. She's not... She's not very well, so...

- Oh, my God! Is it bad? - No, no, it's fine.

I just need to go and give her some TLC.

- OK.

- We'll be all right.

I'll, erm, catch you on the flip, yeah? Gorgie girl.

- Oi!

- Oi yourself, Havvers.

- What you up to? - When you cough, do cobwebs come out?

- COUGHS

- Proper freak, you.

Why you dressed like that? - This is how grown-ups dress, Callum.

I am actually a grown-up, you know.

- Are you? - And you shouldn't speak to me the way you speak to me.

I'm your elder. - Yeah, you do need to start moisturising.

- Like that!

Come on, respect! I'm old enough to be your mother.

- Where's your one mate?

- Where's YOUR one mate? - At school.

- Why are you never at school? - Why are you never at work?

- Cos I had a breakdown. Six months ago.

Got fired.

My mum's pretending it's a hiatus but I'm pretty sure I got fired.

- What did you actually do, though?

- Acted weird, scare people.

- You can get fired for that?

- Apparently so.

- I got kicked out of my school.

- Oh. What did you do?

- I don't know, I was just pissed off. - They can expel you for that?

- Well, they can if you kick all the urinals off the wall.

- Did anyone ask why you were kicking them?

- Yeah, I just told them that I was pissed off.

- Did anyone ask why you were pissed off? - Not really, no.

Did anyone ask why you were being so weird?

- Not really, no. - So why were you?

- I don't know.

I just...malfunctioned.

- You lost the plot.

- Yeah, exactly.

You?

- Don't know. - Come on.

You've got an answer for everything.

- I don't know.

- Do you know what you need?

- What?

- You need some avenues of expression.

- What are you going on about?

Like you with your paper mache? No, thanks.

- Come on. You're so good with words. Like, you obviously read a lot.

- No, I don't.

- Fine. But you were obviously trying to express yourself

when you had a scrap with a toilet.

So what I'm suggesting is,

next time you get pissed off, maybe you try something else, like...

you write it down.

- Urinals. - Urinals, sorry.

- Would you read it though? If I...if I wrote it down?

- Would I read it?

Callum, that would be my honour.

CALLUM LAUGHS

- Oh! Jog on, mate.

I was only having a laugh.

Not taking any advice from a basket case.

This is a good idea, you know. - Thank you, Isobel.

- Speak her language and that.

Loser language. - Unique language, Isobel.

It's not smothering, is it?

- No, I don't think so. - Oh, we make a good team, me and you.

You want to think about sacking off them dogs,

start a party planning biz.

I had a taste of it at the assassin's house.

- Thought that went shit. - Yeah, only cos they were ungrateful.

You nous, me skill.

- One thing at a time, I reckon.

- Well, mull it over.

You know, you can't be covered in dog hair your whole life.

Well, you can, course you can. Sorry, I'm just a bit excited!

- Oi!

Mopey drawers. Get up.

Mum says this isn't smothering.

- You look incredible.

- Come on.

- Iz, your hands smell of dog.

- So, I'm not smothering.

But me and Iz are having a girls' night in.

So you're welcome to join or you're welcome to not join.

- Join what?

Oh, my God!

Wow!

I mean, ladies, you all look beautiful,

but personally, it's a Fritz Bernaise.

It's a Fritz Bernaise!

- Pumpkin seed?

- OK.

- You know what I never got about this film?

- The policeman, Mum, yeah. - The bloody Irish policeman.

It's...it's unnecessary.

- Yeah, the love story's a friendship. - Yeah!

And she doesn't have to bake if she doesn't want to bake.

Why's he so obsessed with her baking?

- Yeah, piss off, carrot man.

- I reckon if they made that now they wouldn't have to put that in.

Like feminism and that. - Mm! - You're right, Isobel.

- You're right, Iz. - Ooh, let's pop another.

- DOORBELL RINGS

Izzie! This is the good room.

- Oh, it's fine, Evie.

Oi! - Ooh, look who it is!

- I hope you like the surprise.

- Hello, gorgeous girlies!

- Aww! Is this the surprise? Who is it?

- No, it's not the surprise, it's Steph.

Steph, you should probably take your shoes off...

- Oh, don't be ridiculous, Isobel.

- Right. - Oh, yeah. No, you take them off, Steph.

- Right, I'll go and... Sorry.

- THEY MOUTH "STEPH"

- What the bloody hell's that?

Aw, thanks for coming, Steph.

Sorry about me wobble.

But it was hot and loud. - Yeah, it was hot and loud.

- Yeah, you know.

- I tell you what, you were right about the glasses, Suz.

It is a much better experience.

- Aw, I'm glad we didn't sweep that under the rug.

- You fucking love to sweep stuff under the rug, Mum.

- Oh, my God, there is so much under that rug, I'm scared to look.

- Girls! Steph doesn't want to look under our rug. - Oh, no, I love it.

- OK.

Mum, my job's not really waiting for me, is it?

- You what?

- You said my job was waiting for me whenever I'm ready,

but it's not true, is it?

- Well, I... I'm sure we can...

No, they haven't budged on their stance just yet.

- Mm-hm. And my flat? - He wants to evict you, Eves,

but he's scared you're going to kill yourself and then haunt him.

- Isobel! What the hell?!

- Oh, my God!

So cocky to think if I was going to haunt anyone,

it would be my sweaty landlord.

- Who would you haunt?

- Er... - Girls, can we not?

I don't want to talk about who my daughters'd haunt.

- Steph?

- Well, I don't really have any unfinished beef with anyone,

I'm happy to say. - Mum, who would you haunt?

- Your dad.

- OK, then. No job, no flat.

- You know what they say about rock bottom.

- The only way is up.

- Spot on. The only way is up.

Glorious rock bottom.

- Glorious rock bottom!

Why are you so fine about it, though?

- Ooh, don't do that.

I shrug, you care.

- Care, Evie!

- Don't have any left.

It's quite nice, actually.

- That better not be him.

- Josh?

Mum, is there something under the rug you're not telling me?

- We're done with the rug. We are done with the rug.

- Josh finally making an honest woman out of you?

- I've always been honest, mate. Unlike some people.

- What's that supposed to mean?

- Is this an olive branch?

- Yeah, except my olive branch went flying across the garden last week.

- I lost it.

- Evie... - What did it say?

- It was my new address.

- Was it?

- Let the record state, it was just my new address.

- God, I hope it was more than just admin.

- It was just admin.

- Stop that, it's uncouth.

I hate you.

- I could snap that thing.

- Go on, do it.

Oh, yes, please.

- Is that a man's voice?

Oh, fucking hell!

I was enjoying not having a man here.

Cos we can really be ourselves, can't we?

- He's not a bloke, he's her weird mate.

- You what? The unknowable prince?

- Unknowable what?

- Prince.

- OK. Er... Hi, everyone.

- It's Bridesmaids, so tonight might not be your night, Noa.

You're probably not a fan.

What's he doing? What are you doing?

I feel excited and I'm relaxed

and I feel ready to partyyyy...

..with the best of them!

And I'm going to go down to the river...

- OK. Get your shoes off then, mister.

Go on. Get him a glass, then, Evie.

- A thin one. - We only do thin here, Steph.

Right, Noa.

Help yourself to the choccy fountain.

- Thanks for inviting me.

- Huh! Smotherer!

So you're moving round the corner from your parents? That's nice.

Bet you miss your mama.

- We're not that close. - What do you mean?

- Just different ways of being, Mum.

- Oh, yeah, course, course.

- We didn't used to be. - We bloody did!

- Er, we were always arguing.

- Oh, we never argued. We...

I wish we could.

- Your mum is really cute though, Noa. And she loves you.

- Yeah, she's just never said those words to me.

- Yeah, but she does. - She's never said I love you?!

- Just different ways of being, Mum.

- Yeah, course. Course.

I mean, she can't be worse than that fucking Lydia.

- Mum! - Who's Lydia?

- Steph! - No, come on, we might as well.

Evie, I met Josh's mum at that party.

- Mum, whatever it is that happened, just put the rug down.

- No, you're right, Isobel. You're right.

- No, come on. I can handle it. Let's whip it back up.

You know what they say about rock bottom.

The only way is up.

- Babes... - Mm-hm?

- They didn't know who you were.

Who we were.

- What?

- They didn't know you existed.

Like, he kept you, and all of this, a secret.

- What, so Josh's family didn't know he had a girlfriend?

- No! Free bed, free board, and free love.

- I'm sorry, Eves, that's really fucked up.

He sounds like a bellend.

Sorry, Eves.

- It's fine. He's not.

Did he have good reasons?

- He had excuses.

- Right! Game time.

- Yeah, game time!

- Game time!

What was the engagement gift Helen gave to Lilian?

- ALL CHATTING

- Just taking a break.

- Fair.

- Sorry. When I invited you, I didn't realise it was going to be so...

..full-on.

- I like it.

- You actually do, don't you?

- Where the fuck is everyone? I thought we were watching a film.

- You coming?

- What you doing that for?

- I think I'm drunk.

- God, you're as cheesy as she is.

- I'm cheesier.

- Come on, then.

- Happened to me, you know.

Always had my shit together.

Got married when I was 25, moved to London,

had a very high up job.

Can't say what.

- Fucking hell...

- And then, when I was 30, I just...

..wobbled.

Quit everything - my marriage, work.

But in the long run, it was the best thing that I ever did.

Get your shit together, Carol!

STEPH LAUGHS DRILY

It's from the... - Yeah, the film.

- It's what I do when I can't...

- Yeah, I noticed that. - Mm.

What was your job, Steph?

- I really can't say, Evie.

- Hurry up, you lot!

- Whoopsy!

I love popcorn.

I absolutely love it.

Hold On by Wilson Phillips

- The ending should be the look.

- The ending should be the look! - Yeah, between the girlies!

- Not what's-his-chops coming on his...in his car.

- I mean, it's the look that says a thousand words, isn't it?

- Gets me emotional. - Yeah, says you're my best friend.

And I always will be.

- No matter what. - Yeah, cos Helen says, doesn't she?

"Lillian, I feel like we can communicate with just a look,"

but really... - Yeah, but really it's Lillian and Annie, they can do that.

But we love Helen though. - We love Helen! - Yeah, but Annie and Lillian,

they're the... - They're the soulmates.

- They are the soulmates, yeah.

- Oh, girls, stop it! I'm going to sob.

So, guys, is this what you've been doing in the garage, all that time?

- Yes.

- Oh, right.

So, not a sex cult. - Since when did it become sex?

Well, I'm tired, I'm going to hit the hay.

- No! I'm not ready for bed.

Don't be so selfish, Isobel.

Don't dart your eyes at...

Yeah, do you want to go to our place, then, Steph?

- Our place, Suz?

You fucking hated it.

- Come on. - Right, yeah, OK. All the best, lovely to meet you.

- OTHERS GIGGLE AS THEY LEAVE

- Chuck us me coat, Steph.

And off we pop!

- There we go! Ladies first.

- Oh, ta.

- Come on.

Phew.

- Phew.

Thanks for coming.

- Thank you for having me.

- Formal.

- Nervous.

Can we not do a big dramatic goodbye, please?

- Why not?

- Cos it's easier.

- OK.

See ya.

- See ya.

Eves...

Hold On by Wilson Phillips

# I know this pain

- # Why do you lock yourself up in these chains

- # Chains, chains, chains

- # No-one can change your life except for you

# Don't ever let anyone step all over you

# Just open your heart and your mind

# Is it really fair to feel

# This way inside? #

- Here we go!

KNOCKING

- Why are you knocking?

- # Until then baby are you gonna let 'em hold you down and make you cry?

# Don't you know, don't you know Things can change

# Things'll go your way

# If you hold on for one more day... #

Love you, Iz.

- Same.

- # Hold on for one more day! #

- Oh, Suz!

- Go on, give it up for Suz!

Yes, Suz! Thank you very much.

- THEY LAUGH

- You're such a husk!

- Stop snorting!

Oh, I love that husk.

I didn't expect you to have a husk.

- I think it was cos I was trying to reach for those high notes!

- Steph, this isn't even my coat.

It is Josh's coat!

- Josh's coat?

- I'm going to do a wee.

Oh, my God. - Oh, bloody hell.

I need to go home. - Can we do something tomorrow?

- Oh, I'd fucking love that.

- Who's Tin Man?

- # Someday somebody's Gonna make you wanna

# Turn around and say goodbye

# Until then, baby

# Are you gonna let them Hold you down and make you cry?

# Don't you know? Don't you know Things can change?

# Things'll go your way

# If you hold on for one more day

# Can you hold on for one more day?

# Things'll go your way

- # Oh, things'll go your way

- # Hold on for one more day. #