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1
00:00:02,269 --> 00:00:03,837
- ? MTV ?
2
00:00:07,707 --> 00:00:08,843
[both chuckling]
3
00:00:08,909 --> 00:00:11,812
[rock music]
4
00:00:11,878 --> 00:00:18,952
? ?
5
00:00:25,092 --> 00:00:26,826
[both grunt]
6
00:00:27,494 --> 00:00:29,430
- Sir, we just
wanna donate sperms.
7
00:00:29,496 --> 00:00:30,546
- Yeah.
8
00:00:30,564 --> 00:00:33,066
- Don't come back.
9
00:00:33,166 --> 00:00:34,856
- Cody said this
was a sperm bank,
10
00:00:34,901 --> 00:00:37,371
but I think it's just
like an Italian restaurant
11
00:00:37,404 --> 00:00:38,472
or something.
12
00:00:38,539 --> 00:00:40,040
[laughter]
13
00:00:40,041 --> 00:00:41,541
- [in Italian accent] In vitro!
14
00:00:41,542 --> 00:00:42,843
Yeah.
[chuckles]
15
00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:45,880
- Dammit.
We gotta find a sperm bank.
16
00:00:45,980 --> 00:00:47,414
- Yeah, really.
17
00:00:47,481 --> 00:00:50,450
I'm tired of spanking
my monkey for a hobby.
18
00:00:50,451 --> 00:00:52,051
I wanna go pro,
you know what I'm saying?
19
00:00:52,052 --> 00:00:53,387
[chuckles]
20
00:00:53,420 --> 00:00:56,623
- Uh, what have we here?
21
00:00:56,690 --> 00:00:59,860
Uh, spuh- spuh-
22
00:00:59,893 --> 00:01:00,943
- Spuh-
23
00:01:00,961 --> 00:01:02,462
a place to spank your monkey?
24
00:01:02,562 --> 00:01:04,398
- Spuh- sperm-
25
00:01:04,464 --> 00:01:06,299
uh, bank!
26
00:01:06,366 --> 00:01:07,868
Sperm bank.
27
00:01:07,935 --> 00:01:09,603
- Whoa!
[chuckles]
28
00:01:09,703 --> 00:01:10,938
That must be why its logo
29
00:01:11,038 --> 00:01:13,073
looks like a schlong, wow!
30
00:01:13,107 --> 00:01:14,474
[chuckles]
31
00:01:14,541 --> 00:01:18,112
- Well, Beavis, let's go
in there and spank our monkeys
32
00:01:18,179 --> 00:01:19,613
and get paid for it.
33
00:01:19,713 --> 00:01:21,848
- [snickers]
Yeah.
34
00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:23,050
Boi-oi-oi-oing!
35
00:01:23,117 --> 00:01:24,284
[laughter]
36
00:01:24,384 --> 00:01:27,187
[soft music]
37
00:01:27,254 --> 00:01:29,323
- ? Your mama ?
38
00:01:29,423 --> 00:01:32,059
[laughter]
39
00:01:32,060 --> 00:01:33,126
- Whoa.
40
00:01:33,127 --> 00:01:34,928
[laughter]
41
00:01:34,995 --> 00:01:38,431
- Your mama.
[laughs]
42
00:01:38,465 --> 00:01:40,467
These are generations
just sitting
43
00:01:40,500 --> 00:01:43,537
around the campfire telling
stories about your mom.
44
00:01:43,604 --> 00:01:44,805
[chuckles]
45
00:01:44,905 --> 00:01:48,375
- Shut up, Butt-Head!
[chuckling]
46
00:01:48,442 --> 00:01:50,577
- Uh, look at that, Beavis.
47
00:01:50,611 --> 00:01:54,014
It's a mom who
cares about her son.
48
00:01:54,081 --> 00:01:56,216
This song is not
about your mom.
49
00:01:56,217 --> 00:01:57,316
[chuckles]
50
00:01:57,317 --> 00:01:59,986
- Eh, c'mon, Butt-Head.
C'mon.
51
00:02:00,086 --> 00:02:01,689
- 'Cause if it was, it'd be-
52
00:02:01,789 --> 00:02:03,190
? Your mama ?
53
00:02:03,290 --> 00:02:05,525
? Went to the store
to get the Plan B ?
54
00:02:05,592 --> 00:02:08,962
? Then did drugs
during her pregnancy ?
55
00:02:09,029 --> 00:02:11,865
[chuckling]
56
00:02:11,965 --> 00:02:13,834
- Shut up, Butt-Head!
57
00:02:13,867 --> 00:02:15,436
- ? Your mama ?
58
00:02:15,437 --> 00:02:17,370
? Likes to have sex
with lots of dudes ?
59
00:02:17,371 --> 00:02:18,706
? And leave you in a hot car ?
60
00:02:18,806 --> 00:02:21,008
[laughter]
61
00:02:21,108 --> 00:02:23,310
- Oh, well, that's true.
62
00:02:23,343 --> 00:02:24,879
- ? Your mama ?
63
00:02:24,880 --> 00:02:26,946
? Got in a fistfight
with her caseworker ?
64
00:02:26,947 --> 00:02:29,183
[laughter]
65
00:02:29,216 --> 00:02:30,817
- Oh, yeah.
66
00:02:30,850 --> 00:02:33,720
I'd rather have that than one
of these moms that, like,
67
00:02:33,820 --> 00:02:37,591
cares about you, and she,
like, is always around
68
00:02:37,658 --> 00:02:40,427
'cause that turns you
into a wuss.
69
00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:41,995
- Uh, oh, yeah.
70
00:02:42,029 --> 00:02:43,798
Moms like that suck.
71
00:02:43,864 --> 00:02:47,334
They're always like,
"Uh, I'm Jeremy's mom.
72
00:02:47,401 --> 00:02:49,269
I came to his play, uh."
73
00:02:49,336 --> 00:02:50,904
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
74
00:02:50,971 --> 00:02:54,508
- "The play's so good,
and Jeremy's the best part.
75
00:02:54,541 --> 00:02:56,977
Uh, Jeremy, I love you."
76
00:02:57,011 --> 00:02:58,512
[laughter]
77
00:02:58,612 --> 00:03:02,516
If my mom ever said that to me,
I'd kick her out of the house.
78
00:03:02,582 --> 00:03:05,452
[chuckles]
- Yeah, really.
79
00:03:05,453 --> 00:03:06,786
In fact, it's kind
of weird that you
80
00:03:06,787 --> 00:03:07,787
just said it, Butt-Head.
81
00:03:07,788 --> 00:03:08,922
Don't ever do that again.
82
00:03:08,923 --> 00:03:10,357
I'll kick your ass.
83
00:03:10,424 --> 00:03:11,758
[chuckles]
84
00:03:11,858 --> 00:03:14,829
You shouldn't even joke
about stuff like that, yeah.
85
00:03:14,895 --> 00:03:16,263
- Beavis.
86
00:03:16,363 --> 00:03:17,531
You seem upset.
87
00:03:17,598 --> 00:03:19,433
Does this video
bring up issues?
88
00:03:19,466 --> 00:03:21,368
- Shut up, Butt-Head!
89
00:03:21,435 --> 00:03:23,170
- Do you want
to talk about it?
90
00:03:23,237 --> 00:03:24,605
[chuckles]
91
00:03:24,705 --> 00:03:27,074
I'm here for you if you
want to talk about it.
92
00:03:27,174 --> 00:03:29,042
- Eh, c'mon, Butt-Head.
93
00:03:29,109 --> 00:03:31,011
- You know who's
not here for you?
94
00:03:31,078 --> 00:03:32,713
? Your mama ?
95
00:03:32,746 --> 00:03:35,682
- Shut up, Butt-Head.
[chuckles]
96
00:03:36,883 --> 00:03:39,019
- This sperm bank
is pretty cool.
97
00:03:39,086 --> 00:03:41,488
It barely looks
disgusting at all.
98
00:03:41,554 --> 00:03:43,189
- Yeah, yeah.
99
00:03:43,256 --> 00:03:47,428
So, um, where do, eh, you
know, make our contribution?
100
00:03:47,528 --> 00:03:49,363
[laughs]
101
00:03:49,430 --> 00:03:52,265
- Uh, looks like we
gotta get in line.
102
00:03:52,266 --> 00:03:55,735
- Eh, so we have to
wait for all these guys
103
00:03:55,736 --> 00:03:57,104
to spank their monkey?
104
00:03:57,171 --> 00:03:58,572
[chuckles]
105
00:03:58,639 --> 00:04:02,075
- Ugh, that old guy's
probably gonna take forever.
106
00:04:02,142 --> 00:04:04,344
- Yeah, really.
107
00:04:04,411 --> 00:04:07,714
Well, pull up
a chair, everybody.
108
00:04:07,781 --> 00:04:09,817
- Next, please?
109
00:04:09,884 --> 00:04:11,118
How can I help you?
110
00:04:11,185 --> 00:04:14,488
- Uh, we wanna,
like, get some money.
111
00:04:14,489 --> 00:04:15,588
- Yeah, yeah.
112
00:04:15,589 --> 00:04:16,757
Boi-oi-oi-oing!
113
00:04:16,824 --> 00:04:18,125
[laughs]
114
00:04:18,158 --> 00:04:19,859
- You can use the ATM machine.
115
00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:21,528
- We can?
- Sure.
116
00:04:21,595 --> 00:04:22,915
It's right out in the lobby.
117
00:04:26,367 --> 00:04:28,669
- Um, Butt-Head, what do we do?
118
00:04:28,736 --> 00:04:30,170
[chuckles]
119
00:04:30,237 --> 00:04:33,974
- Uh, I think the sperm
goes in this thing.
120
00:04:34,007 --> 00:04:35,809
[chuckling]
121
00:04:35,909 --> 00:04:38,946
- Whoa, it holds a lot.
122
00:04:38,979 --> 00:04:41,181
Eh, I don't think I can reach.
123
00:04:41,182 --> 00:04:42,615
Maybe if you give
me a boost, I-
124
00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:43,851
Ah!
125
00:04:43,852 --> 00:04:45,151
- Dammit, Beavis,
I'm not gonna have my hands
126
00:04:45,152 --> 00:04:47,487
anywhere near you
while you spank your monkey.
127
00:04:47,488 --> 00:04:49,456
Leave me out of this.
128
00:04:49,523 --> 00:04:52,826
- I guess I could just
climb up and then just kind
129
00:04:52,893 --> 00:04:55,362
of pull my pants down.
130
00:04:57,130 --> 00:05:00,200
[beeping]
131
00:05:02,236 --> 00:05:03,971
There's too many
people around.
132
00:05:04,038 --> 00:05:05,973
This is weird.
- Dammit.
133
00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:09,443
This sperm bank sucks.
134
00:05:09,509 --> 00:05:13,080
Uh, that ATM
didn't work at all.
135
00:05:13,081 --> 00:05:15,381
- If there was more privacy,
I could probably swing it,
136
00:05:15,382 --> 00:05:17,651
but no, thank you.
137
00:05:17,718 --> 00:05:18,785
[chuckles]
138
00:05:18,786 --> 00:05:20,352
- Do you have
an account with us?
139
00:05:20,353 --> 00:05:21,889
- Uh, no.
140
00:05:21,922 --> 00:05:24,258
We just got here
five minutes ago.
141
00:05:24,259 --> 00:05:26,693
- Well, you'll need to
make an initial deposit.
142
00:05:26,694 --> 00:05:28,461
How would you like
to do that today?
143
00:05:28,462 --> 00:05:29,830
- Eh, I don't know.
144
00:05:29,897 --> 00:05:32,232
With my hand, I guess.
145
00:05:32,233 --> 00:05:34,500
- Unless you have someone
who can help a guy out,
146
00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:36,670
if you know what I'm saying.
147
00:05:36,737 --> 00:05:40,907
- I am going to need a deposit
before I can open your account.
148
00:05:41,007 --> 00:05:44,845
- OK, but, um, can we do
it in the bathroom, maybe?
149
00:05:44,879 --> 00:05:47,948
- You need the bathroom,
it's right over there.
150
00:05:47,949 --> 00:05:49,549
- Do they have
anything to look at,
151
00:05:49,550 --> 00:05:52,786
you know, like,
to help things along?
152
00:05:52,853 --> 00:05:56,557
- Uh, they've got
these little magazines.
153
00:05:56,657 --> 00:05:59,159
Let's see here.
154
00:05:59,226 --> 00:06:03,931
This is just pictures of people
standing in front of a house.
155
00:06:03,964 --> 00:06:05,732
- Uh, it's not bad, you know?
156
00:06:05,799 --> 00:06:08,235
It'll work.
157
00:06:08,236 --> 00:06:10,202
Hey, baby, whatcha
gonna do in that house?
158
00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:12,339
Oh, yeah.
[chuckling]
159
00:06:12,405 --> 00:06:13,607
The hay-ouse.
160
00:06:13,608 --> 00:06:14,707
Yeah.
161
00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:15,775
- I'll just go in here.
162
00:06:15,842 --> 00:06:18,445
[chuckling]
163
00:06:18,511 --> 00:06:20,281
Banking is cool.
164
00:06:20,314 --> 00:06:22,148
[chuckling]
165
00:06:25,919 --> 00:06:28,121
- Now, where's our money?
166
00:06:28,188 --> 00:06:30,223
- Yeah, I deposited
all over that place.
167
00:06:30,290 --> 00:06:31,340
Yeah.
168
00:06:31,425 --> 00:06:33,227
- Yeah, me too.
169
00:06:33,293 --> 00:06:36,697
Then I took a little nap
on some guy's desk.
170
00:06:36,698 --> 00:06:38,831
- I'll just need cash
or a cashier's check,
171
00:06:38,832 --> 00:06:40,933
and we can get your
account opened right up.
172
00:06:40,934 --> 00:06:43,737
- We have to give him money?
173
00:06:43,804 --> 00:06:45,071
- Dammit, Beavis.
174
00:06:45,072 --> 00:06:47,306
At least act like you
know what you're doing.
175
00:06:47,307 --> 00:06:49,443
You got to spend money
to make money.
176
00:06:49,477 --> 00:06:51,211
Don't embarrass me.
177
00:06:51,278 --> 00:06:52,580
- Oh, OK.
OK.
178
00:06:52,646 --> 00:06:54,147
OK, fine.
179
00:06:54,214 --> 00:06:55,649
Here you go.
180
00:06:55,716 --> 00:06:56,917
[chuckles]
181
00:06:56,984 --> 00:06:58,219
- OK.
182
00:06:58,220 --> 00:07:00,019
This is gonna be your
temporary checkbook.
183
00:07:00,020 --> 00:07:01,488
- What?
184
00:07:01,489 --> 00:07:02,756
- And just give me a moment.
185
00:07:02,757 --> 00:07:05,192
I'll be right back
with your ATM card.
186
00:07:05,259 --> 00:07:06,694
- Hey, where's he going?
187
00:07:06,761 --> 00:07:09,829
That butthole just
took all our money.
188
00:07:09,896 --> 00:07:13,601
And look, they made a baby
out of our sperms already.
189
00:07:13,634 --> 00:07:15,235
- That's not our baby.
190
00:07:15,269 --> 00:07:18,105
It takes like a month, dumbass.
191
00:07:18,205 --> 00:07:19,707
- Oh, yeah.
192
00:07:19,774 --> 00:07:23,677
Yeah, but maybe because there's
two of us, it's faster, see?
193
00:07:23,744 --> 00:07:24,811
[chuckles]
194
00:07:24,878 --> 00:07:26,814
- Uh, oh, yeah.
195
00:07:26,881 --> 00:07:28,082
Hey!
196
00:07:28,182 --> 00:07:29,416
Undo this baby.
197
00:07:29,483 --> 00:07:32,019
We want our sperms back!
198
00:07:32,085 --> 00:07:33,687
- Yeah, you stole our sperms.
199
00:07:33,754 --> 00:07:36,823
At least pay us
for the baby we made!
200
00:07:38,058 --> 00:07:40,860
- Uh, he's gone.
201
00:07:44,198 --> 00:07:46,266
- I guess that's our baby, huh?
202
00:07:50,904 --> 00:07:52,506
So what do we say?
203
00:07:52,573 --> 00:07:55,743
- Uhh-
[chuckles]
204
00:07:55,809 --> 00:07:57,678
We did your mom.
205
00:07:57,745 --> 00:08:01,048
[laughter]
206
00:08:01,049 --> 00:08:02,115
- Eh, come on, Butt-Head.
207
00:08:02,116 --> 00:08:04,151
C'mon.
208
00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:09,590
So I guess, um, we're like, uh,
your dads or something, yeah.
209
00:08:09,656 --> 00:08:11,358
- Yeah.
210
00:08:11,458 --> 00:08:12,898
Sorry, we can't stick around.
211
00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:14,328
[chuckles]
212
00:08:14,329 --> 00:08:16,496
- Yeah, it's been real,
you know, but, um, we gotta
213
00:08:16,497 --> 00:08:19,199
move on and stuff, you know?
214
00:08:19,299 --> 00:08:22,736
- Uh, I guess before we
go, we should, like, give
215
00:08:22,803 --> 00:08:24,638
it some advice or something?
216
00:08:24,738 --> 00:08:26,874
Like, about life?
217
00:08:26,941 --> 00:08:28,008
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
218
00:08:28,108 --> 00:08:29,943
Yeah, yeah, we should, yeah.
219
00:08:29,977 --> 00:08:31,211
OK, let me see, um.
220
00:08:31,278 --> 00:08:32,513
Oh, oh, I know.
221
00:08:32,579 --> 00:08:34,381
You can donate
sperm at the bank,
222
00:08:34,448 --> 00:08:36,717
and they'll give you money.
223
00:08:36,784 --> 00:08:37,834
- No, they won't.
224
00:08:37,851 --> 00:08:39,820
Dumbass, it didn't work.
225
00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:41,221
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
226
00:08:41,288 --> 00:08:42,656
OK, never mind that, yeah.
227
00:08:42,689 --> 00:08:45,492
Yeah, sorry.
228
00:08:45,592 --> 00:08:47,961
- Uh, try not to suck.
229
00:08:47,995 --> 00:08:49,296
[chuckles]
230
00:08:49,363 --> 00:08:50,998
[phone ringing]
- Yeah, yeah.
231
00:08:50,999 --> 00:08:52,132
Good enough.
232
00:08:52,133 --> 00:08:54,134
Let's go home, yeah.
233
00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:57,871
[rock music]
234
00:08:57,938 --> 00:09:00,907
[cheerful music]
235
00:09:01,007 --> 00:09:07,915
? ?
236
00:09:08,015 --> 00:09:09,750
- Vietnam.
237
00:09:09,850 --> 00:09:13,320
America was fighting not
only the wily Vietcong,
238
00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:15,489
but controversy here at home.
239
00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:19,160
After three tours
of duty, I myself
240
00:09:19,226 --> 00:09:22,829
became disillusioned with
the war and left the army
241
00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:27,134
and soon found myself in San
Francisco in what they were
242
00:09:27,201 --> 00:09:31,171
calling the Summer of Love.
243
00:09:31,204 --> 00:09:35,943
- Hey, cats, let's head on down
to the free love festival, man.
244
00:09:36,010 --> 00:09:37,377
- Yeah, groovy.
245
00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:38,746
- Psychedelic.
246
00:09:38,846 --> 00:09:40,180
- Far out.
247
00:09:40,214 --> 00:09:43,250
- Now, hold on just one
minute, Flowerberry.
248
00:09:43,350 --> 00:09:46,653
That bong you got there
ain't gonna work right.
249
00:09:46,720 --> 00:09:51,158
You see, the gasket on the
down stem isn't sitting flush.
250
00:09:51,225 --> 00:09:54,194
And that's gonna
let in unwanted air.
251
00:09:54,228 --> 00:09:56,497
- Man, there's a
free love festival-
252
00:09:56,563 --> 00:09:59,266
- You see, your lungs
create negative air
253
00:09:59,333 --> 00:10:01,201
pressure that
pulls the marijuana
254
00:10:01,268 --> 00:10:02,670
smoke through the water.
255
00:10:02,703 --> 00:10:05,472
But with a bad seal like
this, you're just gonna
256
00:10:05,539 --> 00:10:07,607
be pulling in regular air.
257
00:10:07,674 --> 00:10:11,778
And I don't know about you,
but I call that a bummer.
258
00:10:11,845 --> 00:10:13,780
- Man, there's a
free love festival-
259
00:10:13,847 --> 00:10:15,082
- Huh!
260
00:10:15,182 --> 00:10:17,652
Now, Flowerberry, you can
end the war in Vietnam
261
00:10:17,718 --> 00:10:20,387
by making love
to your old lady quick.
262
00:10:20,420 --> 00:10:22,555
Or you can end
the war in Vietnam
263
00:10:22,656 --> 00:10:25,259
by making love
to your old lady right.
264
00:10:25,359 --> 00:10:30,264
So how about let's have
a look-see at that bong?
265
00:10:30,330 --> 00:10:33,900
Do you have
a socket wrench set?
266
00:10:33,967 --> 00:10:37,137
The next day, I returned
to Vietnam, where I did
267
00:10:37,204 --> 00:10:39,407
another seven tours of duty.
268
00:10:39,473 --> 00:10:43,210
But I'm guessing you wanna know
more about Flowerberry's socket
269
00:10:43,243 --> 00:10:44,578
wrench set.
270
00:10:44,678 --> 00:10:46,647
But it'll have
to wait for the next
271
00:10:46,713 --> 00:10:48,983
"Tom Anderson's War Stories."
272
00:10:49,049 --> 00:10:52,552
? ?
273
00:10:56,357 --> 00:10:57,591
[laughter]
274
00:10:57,691 --> 00:11:00,694
[rock music]
275
00:11:00,794 --> 00:11:07,767
? ?
276
00:11:18,211 --> 00:11:19,980
- Wait, why did we come here?
277
00:11:20,047 --> 00:11:21,848
- Uh, I don't know.
278
00:11:21,949 --> 00:11:24,218
The food here sucks.
279
00:11:24,284 --> 00:11:26,019
- Good, you two
are finally here.
280
00:11:26,020 --> 00:11:28,487
There's a new menu item I have
to show you before I leave.
281
00:11:28,488 --> 00:11:31,859
This is Burger World's
new Mexican-style nachos.
282
00:11:31,860 --> 00:11:32,925
- Whoa.
283
00:11:32,926 --> 00:11:34,561
Nachos.
284
00:11:36,063 --> 00:11:37,597
- They suck.
285
00:11:37,664 --> 00:11:39,934
- OK, so when someone
orders nachos,
286
00:11:39,935 --> 00:11:41,300
take the chips from the warmer
287
00:11:41,301 --> 00:11:42,903
and add two pumps
of cheese.
288
00:11:42,970 --> 00:11:44,304
For Nacho Supreme
289
00:11:44,371 --> 00:11:47,041
add a broken up burger
and one pump of guac sauce.
290
00:11:47,107 --> 00:11:48,809
Got it?
- Yes, sir.
291
00:11:48,909 --> 00:11:50,544
You said pump.
292
00:11:50,611 --> 00:11:51,878
[both snickering]
293
00:11:51,945 --> 00:11:53,781
Pump.
294
00:11:53,814 --> 00:11:56,249
- And change the mix
in the shake machine.
295
00:11:56,316 --> 00:11:58,853
Have a good shift.
296
00:11:58,919 --> 00:12:01,722
- Um, what are we
supposed to do, Butt-Head?
297
00:12:01,789 --> 00:12:03,357
[chuckles]
298
00:12:03,391 --> 00:12:05,692
- Uh, I don't care.
299
00:12:05,726 --> 00:12:07,193
[chuckles]
300
00:12:07,194 --> 00:12:09,762
- Um, I think we're supposed
to do something with the shake
301
00:12:09,763 --> 00:12:11,798
machine or something.
302
00:12:11,865 --> 00:12:14,568
- Uh, oh, yeah.
303
00:12:14,634 --> 00:12:18,004
Uh, let's put nachos in there.
304
00:12:18,038 --> 00:12:21,107
[laughter]
305
00:12:29,683 --> 00:12:32,719
[whirring]
306
00:12:47,801 --> 00:12:50,504
Beavis, we're a genius.
307
00:12:50,538 --> 00:12:52,873
[laughter]
308
00:12:52,973 --> 00:12:56,109
[dramatic music]
309
00:12:56,176 --> 00:12:57,344
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
310
00:12:57,411 --> 00:12:59,346
- Oh, this kicks ass.
311
00:12:59,412 --> 00:13:00,814
- Yeah, yeah.
312
00:13:00,880 --> 00:13:02,570
You know, um,
yeah, they finally
313
00:13:02,582 --> 00:13:04,351
turned slapping into a sport.
314
00:13:04,418 --> 00:13:06,720
I've been saying this
for years, Butt-Head.
315
00:13:06,787 --> 00:13:09,656
- Yeah, slapping kicks ass.
316
00:13:09,723 --> 00:13:11,958
[chuckles]
317
00:13:11,959 --> 00:13:14,594
Announcer: But it wasn't until
he joined the organization
318
00:13:14,595 --> 00:13:16,396
as cornerman that he was able
319
00:13:16,463 --> 00:13:18,565
to see the true competitive
spirit of-
320
00:13:18,566 --> 00:13:20,866
- After cornering people,
he said to himself,
321
00:13:20,867 --> 00:13:22,035
I could do this.
322
00:13:22,102 --> 00:13:24,605
I could slap people
in the face, too.
323
00:13:24,672 --> 00:13:25,939
[chuckles]
324
00:13:26,006 --> 00:13:27,307
- They laughed at him.
325
00:13:27,308 --> 00:13:29,308
They said, you'll never
slap people in the face.
326
00:13:29,309 --> 00:13:32,746
But he said, I'll slap
the bejesus out of people!
327
00:13:32,813 --> 00:13:34,414
Watch me!
[chuckles]
328
00:13:34,481 --> 00:13:36,950
- And he said it all
with his mouth full
329
00:13:37,050 --> 00:13:38,740
because he was
stuffing his face
330
00:13:38,752 --> 00:13:40,587
with a meatball sandwich.
331
00:13:40,621 --> 00:13:42,823
[laughter]
332
00:13:42,889 --> 00:13:45,259
To be good at this sport,
you need strength,
333
00:13:45,292 --> 00:13:48,094
bravery, and type 2 diabetes.
334
00:13:48,128 --> 00:13:51,197
[laughter]
335
00:13:51,198 --> 00:13:56,102
- Looks like they're, like,
at Sam's Club or something.
336
00:13:56,103 --> 00:13:57,405
[chuckles]
337
00:13:57,471 --> 00:14:00,074
- I think this is, like,
the parking garage.
338
00:14:00,107 --> 00:14:04,545
Whoever wins this will be
the champion of level 4.
339
00:14:04,546 --> 00:14:07,313
Announcer: Your officials for
this 10-round matchup-
340
00:14:07,314 --> 00:14:11,051
- Here at the Route 217
Sam's Club!
341
00:14:11,052 --> 00:14:13,352
If you parked in the Kia
dealership parking lot
342
00:14:13,353 --> 00:14:14,988
next door, you will be towed!
343
00:14:15,055 --> 00:14:16,556
OK!
344
00:14:18,291 --> 00:14:20,694
- The most amazing
thing about this
345
00:14:20,794 --> 00:14:23,397
is that there's two
chicks that showed up.
346
00:14:23,497 --> 00:14:25,866
[chuckles]
347
00:14:25,899 --> 00:14:27,133
- Oh, yeah.
348
00:14:27,134 --> 00:14:28,500
Maybe they're just
there because they
349
00:14:28,501 --> 00:14:30,170
couldn't find their car
or something, you know?
350
00:14:30,171 --> 00:14:31,338
[chuckles]
351
00:14:31,438 --> 00:14:33,473
- Yeah, they're
like, I think we
352
00:14:33,540 --> 00:14:36,276
parked right near those fat
guys slapping each other.
353
00:14:36,343 --> 00:14:37,844
[laughter]
354
00:14:37,845 --> 00:14:39,145
Announcer: All right, folks,
let's take a look
355
00:14:39,146 --> 00:14:40,346
at the rules of Slapfight.
356
00:14:40,347 --> 00:14:42,616
First off, no clubbing.
357
00:14:42,683 --> 00:14:44,951
- That's just what
slapping needed-
358
00:14:45,018 --> 00:14:46,068
rules.
359
00:14:46,153 --> 00:14:48,054
[laughter]
360
00:14:49,857 --> 00:14:52,026
- You can't move your feet?
[chuckles]
361
00:14:52,126 --> 00:14:54,776
- Nothing that counts as
exercise will be permitted.
362
00:14:54,828 --> 00:14:56,229
[chuckles]
363
00:14:59,967 --> 00:15:02,236
- Yeah! Jesus, come on!
[chuckles]
364
00:15:02,302 --> 00:15:04,137
Just slap him!
C'mon!
365
00:15:04,138 --> 00:15:05,204
- Ooh.
366
00:15:05,205 --> 00:15:06,239
- Yeah.
- Yes.
367
00:15:06,240 --> 00:15:07,341
- Yeah.
[laughter]
368
00:15:07,342 --> 00:15:09,408
- That was an incredible
three seconds of action.
369
00:15:09,409 --> 00:15:10,677
- Yeah, yeah.
370
00:15:10,678 --> 00:15:12,078
That's some good
slapmanship right there.
371
00:15:12,079 --> 00:15:13,414
Yeah.
372
00:15:13,415 --> 00:15:15,781
Announcer: Warning for
stepping on the Maniac.
373
00:15:15,782 --> 00:15:18,018
- Oh, no, what now?
[chuckles]
374
00:15:18,085 --> 00:15:20,887
- It's such a simple sport,
and they keep screwing it up.
375
00:15:20,921 --> 00:15:22,789
[chuckles]
376
00:15:22,889 --> 00:15:24,858
- I don't know,
Butt-Head, you know,
377
00:15:24,859 --> 00:15:27,259
I always thought a slapfight
is like a thinking man's game,
378
00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:28,561
you know, like a chess match?
379
00:15:28,562 --> 00:15:30,164
- Yeah.
380
00:15:30,231 --> 00:15:33,033
A chess match for people
whose fingers are too
381
00:15:33,034 --> 00:15:34,367
fat to hold the chess pieces.
382
00:15:34,368 --> 00:15:37,404
[laughter]
383
00:15:37,471 --> 00:15:38,606
- Ooh, ooh!
384
00:15:38,607 --> 00:15:40,039
I think he might
slap him, Butt-Head.
385
00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:41,575
Watch.
386
00:15:41,608 --> 00:15:43,277
- Ooh, yes.
387
00:15:43,377 --> 00:15:45,579
[chuckles]
388
00:15:45,679 --> 00:15:46,913
Announcer: That's it.
389
00:15:46,914 --> 00:15:48,314
Doctor calls the fight.
That's a wrap.
390
00:15:48,315 --> 00:15:49,883
- I'm going to dedicate
this to my lord
391
00:15:49,884 --> 00:15:51,452
and slapper, Jesus Christ.
392
00:15:51,519 --> 00:15:52,987
[chuckles]
393
00:15:53,053 --> 00:15:55,856
- Now he's going to go visit
a sick kid in the hospital
394
00:15:55,922 --> 00:15:57,925
and slap the crap out of him.
395
00:15:57,992 --> 00:16:00,628
[laughter]
396
00:16:00,694 --> 00:16:03,964
I'm going to slap the cystic
fibrosis right out of you.
397
00:16:03,998 --> 00:16:06,700
[laughter]
398
00:16:06,701 --> 00:16:08,468
- Yeah, they'd be
like, was that kid
399
00:16:08,469 --> 00:16:09,835
in the hospital really sick?
400
00:16:09,836 --> 00:16:11,571
And he'd be like,
I don't know.
401
00:16:11,638 --> 00:16:14,074
He was after I slapped him.
402
00:16:14,141 --> 00:16:15,776
[chuckles]
403
00:16:15,777 --> 00:16:18,410
- And then the nurse was like,
uh, sir, that kid wasn't sick.
404
00:16:18,411 --> 00:16:20,079
He was just visiting
his grandma.
405
00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:21,582
[chuckles]
406
00:16:21,648 --> 00:16:23,417
- And he's like, his grandma?
407
00:16:23,484 --> 00:16:25,119
Well, I'll go slap her then!
408
00:16:25,185 --> 00:16:26,520
Yeah.
Where is she?
409
00:16:26,620 --> 00:16:27,821
[chuckles]
410
00:16:31,725 --> 00:16:32,793
- Mm, mm!
411
00:16:32,860 --> 00:16:34,695
This is really good, Butt-Head.
412
00:16:34,696 --> 00:16:36,829
- We have invented
the most delicious thing
413
00:16:36,830 --> 00:16:38,732
in the history of all mankind.
414
00:16:38,799 --> 00:16:39,849
[chuckles]
415
00:16:39,867 --> 00:16:41,168
- Are we going to get rich?
416
00:16:41,202 --> 00:16:42,769
[chuckles]
417
00:16:42,770 --> 00:16:45,504
- Beavis, the Nacho Shake is
going to make us more money
418
00:16:45,505 --> 00:16:47,507
than we have ever dreamed of.
419
00:16:47,541 --> 00:16:50,010
- Yeah.
Money, money.
420
00:16:50,110 --> 00:16:51,912
[rock music]
421
00:16:51,913 --> 00:16:52,978
Money.
422
00:16:52,979 --> 00:16:58,819
? ?
423
00:16:58,820 --> 00:16:59,852
[cheering]
- Oh, my God!
424
00:16:59,853 --> 00:17:00,988
It's really them!
425
00:17:01,055 --> 00:17:03,557
- Beavis and Butt-Head,
thank you.
426
00:17:03,623 --> 00:17:05,726
Your invention
of the Nacho Shake
427
00:17:05,792 --> 00:17:08,528
saved Burger World
from sucking.
428
00:17:08,595 --> 00:17:11,798
Please, have this helicopter
full of gold bars.
429
00:17:11,898 --> 00:17:15,336
? ?
430
00:17:15,402 --> 00:17:17,138
Thank you. Fly through.
431
00:17:17,204 --> 00:17:24,277
? ?
432
00:17:26,446 --> 00:17:27,748
- Beavis and Butt-Head?
433
00:17:27,848 --> 00:17:29,783
We love you guys.
434
00:17:29,850 --> 00:17:31,685
- How much to buy Metallica?
435
00:17:31,752 --> 00:17:34,922
- One gold bar ought
to be eno- ow!
436
00:17:34,989 --> 00:17:36,690
[feedback screeches]
437
00:17:36,756 --> 00:17:39,126
? ?
438
00:17:39,193 --> 00:17:41,194
[cheering]
439
00:17:41,261 --> 00:17:45,198
- I love you,
Beavis and Butt-Head!
440
00:17:45,265 --> 00:17:48,402
- Beavis and Butt-Head,
you invented the shake
441
00:17:48,502 --> 00:17:50,337
that changed America.
442
00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:53,673
We honor and worship you, OK?
443
00:17:53,740 --> 00:17:56,210
- We are buying your school.
444
00:17:56,276 --> 00:17:59,179
From now on, this is
the Beavis and Butt-Head
445
00:17:59,246 --> 00:18:02,382
Center for Business
Studies and Sex Knowledge.
446
00:18:02,449 --> 00:18:03,683
[snaps fingers]
447
00:18:04,684 --> 00:18:06,587
That's cool.
- Yeah.
448
00:18:06,654 --> 00:18:08,655
[chuckles]
449
00:18:08,688 --> 00:18:09,823
- Oh, Butt-Head!
450
00:18:09,890 --> 00:18:11,825
[laughter]
451
00:18:11,858 --> 00:18:13,360
This is fun.
452
00:18:13,460 --> 00:18:17,198
? ?
453
00:18:17,199 --> 00:18:18,331
- [groans]
454
00:18:18,332 --> 00:18:19,332
[chuckles]
455
00:18:19,333 --> 00:18:20,534
- [grunts]
456
00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:22,202
- Being rich is
going to be cool.
457
00:18:22,269 --> 00:18:23,770
[chuckles]
- Yeah, yeah.
458
00:18:23,804 --> 00:18:25,405
[chuckles]
459
00:18:28,175 --> 00:18:29,443
- Uh-oh.
460
00:18:29,444 --> 00:18:31,311
Uh, we're out of Nacho
Shakes, Butt-Head.
461
00:18:31,312 --> 00:18:32,613
We better make more.
462
00:18:32,680 --> 00:18:34,014
- Wait, Beavis.
463
00:18:34,114 --> 00:18:35,916
Maybe this time we go further.
464
00:18:35,983 --> 00:18:37,351
[chuckles]
465
00:18:37,451 --> 00:18:39,801
If the Nacho Shake will
make us billionaires,
466
00:18:39,820 --> 00:18:44,692
then the Nacho Shake Supreme
will make us, uh,
467
00:18:44,758 --> 00:18:47,561
ba-billionaires or something.
468
00:18:47,628 --> 00:18:49,663
- The Nacho Shake Supreme.
469
00:18:49,696 --> 00:18:50,797
Yeah, yeah.
470
00:18:50,864 --> 00:18:52,866
But what's in it?
471
00:18:52,932 --> 00:18:55,836
- Uh, I think
that one dude said
472
00:18:55,902 --> 00:18:58,238
to put in a broken-up burger.
473
00:18:58,305 --> 00:19:00,541
- Oh, yeah, yeah, he did.
Yeah.
474
00:19:00,542 --> 00:19:02,041
I'll go grill some
burgers, yeah.
475
00:19:02,042 --> 00:19:03,143
[chuckles]
476
00:19:03,210 --> 00:19:04,650
- You don't have to grill them.
477
00:19:04,651 --> 00:19:06,212
They get cooked
in the shake machine.
478
00:19:06,213 --> 00:19:08,381
- Oh, yeah.
479
00:19:08,448 --> 00:19:10,383
- In you go.
480
00:19:10,483 --> 00:19:11,851
- Yeah, yeah.
481
00:19:11,885 --> 00:19:14,087
Nacho Shake Supreme,
coming right up.
482
00:19:14,154 --> 00:19:15,522
[chuckles]
483
00:19:15,556 --> 00:19:18,625
[whirring]
484
00:19:29,270 --> 00:19:30,738
- That looks tasty.
485
00:19:30,838 --> 00:19:32,906
[chuckles]
- Yeah.
486
00:19:32,973 --> 00:19:35,008
Um, hey, um,
when the shake machine
487
00:19:35,041 --> 00:19:36,977
is really vibrating like that,
488
00:19:37,044 --> 00:19:39,480
does it, like, give
you wood sometimes?
489
00:19:39,547 --> 00:19:40,781
[chuckles]
490
00:19:40,847 --> 00:19:43,550
- Uh, no.
491
00:19:43,551 --> 00:19:44,684
- Yeah, yeah.
492
00:19:44,685 --> 00:19:45,735
Yeah, me neither.
493
00:19:45,786 --> 00:19:47,421
[chuckles]
494
00:19:47,521 --> 00:19:51,125
- We sure sold a lot of Nacho
Shake Supremes last night.
495
00:19:51,191 --> 00:19:52,659
- Yeah, yeah.
496
00:19:52,726 --> 00:19:55,829
So when are we going to get
that helicopter full of money?
497
00:19:55,896 --> 00:19:57,998
- Uh, maybe today.
498
00:19:58,065 --> 00:20:00,333
[chuckles]
499
00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:02,002
- I have bad news.
500
00:20:02,069 --> 00:20:04,905
We're shut down for 30 days
by the health department.
501
00:20:04,972 --> 00:20:06,540
- Uh-huh?
- Yeah?
502
00:20:06,541 --> 00:20:09,275
- Because nine of our
customers were in the hospital
503
00:20:09,276 --> 00:20:10,577
with food poisoning.
504
00:20:10,644 --> 00:20:12,145
- Uh-huh.
- Sounds good.
505
00:20:12,212 --> 00:20:13,647
- I don't understand.
506
00:20:13,714 --> 00:20:16,016
We've never gotten
a grade below a B,
507
00:20:16,083 --> 00:20:17,184
and now we have an F.
508
00:20:17,251 --> 00:20:18,886
- Whoa, really?
509
00:20:18,919 --> 00:20:21,187
This is your first F?
510
00:20:21,221 --> 00:20:25,226
Um, congratumations
or something.
511
00:20:25,326 --> 00:20:27,828
- No. Getting an F is bad.
512
00:20:27,829 --> 00:20:29,762
- Eh, you know,
you should be proud, you know?
513
00:20:29,763 --> 00:20:30,831
Just one F?
514
00:20:30,898 --> 00:20:32,733
That's not that bad.
515
00:20:32,800 --> 00:20:34,201
- Don't worry, sir.
516
00:20:34,267 --> 00:20:35,569
We get Fs all the time.
517
00:20:35,570 --> 00:20:37,837
And we're about to get
really rich because we
518
00:20:37,838 --> 00:20:40,040
invented a new kind of shake.
519
00:20:40,140 --> 00:20:41,408
- Yeah, yeah.
520
00:20:41,409 --> 00:20:43,376
Yeah, the secret
ingredient is raw meat.
521
00:20:43,377 --> 00:20:46,413
[laughter]
522
00:20:46,426 --> 00:20:50,850
- You know what'll make
this sad son of a bitch
523
00:20:50,851 --> 00:20:52,919
feel a lot better?
524
00:20:52,986 --> 00:20:54,254
- Yes, I do.
525
00:20:54,321 --> 00:20:56,089
One Nacho Shake Supreme.
526
00:20:56,189 --> 00:20:57,758
[rock music]
527
00:20:57,825 --> 00:20:59,126
[laughter]
528
00:20:59,226 --> 00:21:01,228
[whirring]
529
00:21:01,295 --> 00:21:02,345
- Dammit, Beavis!
530
00:21:02,362 --> 00:21:03,831
Is that a boner?
531
00:21:03,832 --> 00:21:04,864
- Yes, sir!
532
00:21:04,865 --> 00:21:05,899
Yes, it is.
533
00:21:05,900 --> 00:21:07,667
[laughter]
534
00:21:11,538 --> 00:21:14,474
[rock music]
535
00:21:14,574 --> 00:21:21,581
? ?
536
00:21:33,560 --> 00:21:35,462
[chiming noises]
537
00:21:35,562 --> 00:21:36,612
- Chirp.
538
00:21:36,613 --> 00:21:41,163
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