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[skateboard shuffling]
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Man: IT'S THURSDAY.
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I'VE BEEN OUT HERE FOR...
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120-SOMETHING HOURS.
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I'M OUT OF WATER.
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AND I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH LONGER
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I'M GOING TO BE HERE.
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SO THIS IS A MESSAGE FOR MY FAMILY.
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MOM AND DAD, I LOVE YOU.
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I DID MY BEST.
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MARIE...
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I WANTED TO BE THERE FOR YOUR GRADUATION.
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SO JUST THINK OF ME, PLEASE.
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[GASPING]
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COME ON.
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[GASPING]
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HEY, HOW YOU DOIN'?
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HELLO.
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HELLO?!
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WHAT THE FUCK?!
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♪ HOCUS POCUS
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♪ THE TIME IS NOW THAT YOU NOTICED ♪
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[RATS SQUEAKING]
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[SONG CONTINUES]
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♪ THEY TRIED TO TELL ME
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♪ BUT THEY'RE NOT GETTING IN NO MESSES ♪
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[SONG CONTINUES]
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[CAR HORN HONKS]
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♪ VICTIM OF SOCIETY
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♪ ALL MY LIFE I'VE TRIED
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♪ I'VE BECOME A VICTIM OF SOCIETY ♪
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♪ THIS IS BOGUS
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♪ THE TIME IS NOW THAT YOU NOTICED ♪
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[SONG CONTINUES]
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♪ THEY TRIED TO TELL ME
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♪ BUT THEY'RE NOT GETTING IN NO MESSES ♪
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[SONG CONTINUES]
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♪ CAN SOMEBODY TELL ME
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♪ I'M A VICTIM OF SOCIETY
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♪ ALL MY LIFE I'VE TRIED
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[BEEPING]
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HMM.
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FEEL THE BREEZE FROM THE SUBWAY? UH-HUH.
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OHH!
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MAN, YOU LOOK JUST LIKE MARILYN ON THAT GRATE.
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OH! EXCEPT MARILYN NEVER HAD TO WEAR A SCRAM BRACELET.
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[TRAIN HORN HONKS]
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OH! HERE COMES ANOTHER ONE.
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IT'S EVEN BIGGER.
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OHH!
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[HORN HONKING]
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MM-HMM.
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HMM.
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[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
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[ENGINE STARTS]
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♪ I'M GOING IT ALONE, DO MY TIME UNTIL I'M DONE ♪
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♪ ...EASY
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♪ ALL THE FACES THAT I'VE SEEN DON'T MEAN ANYTHING AT ALL TO ME ♪
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♪ SHE GOT ME GOING NOW
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♪ OUT OF MY MIND
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♪ AND IT'S A HELL OF A TIME
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♪ YEAH
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♪ IT'S ALL INSANE, BUT I DON'T NEED ♪
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♪ BUT I'M TRYING JUST TO LET YOU KNOW ♪
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♪ THAT I DON'T WANT TO CAUSE A SCENE ♪
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♪ BUT I'M SORRY
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♪ I TELL YOU EVERYTHING THAT YOU KNOW YOU NEVER WANT TO HEAR ♪
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♪ 'CAUSE IT'S TRUE
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♪ I GIVE YOU ALL I GOT BUT THERE'S NOTHING THERE THAT YOU CAN USE ♪
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♪ SO YOU GOT ME GOING NOW
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♪ GOING OUT OF MY MIND
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♪ AND IT'S A HELL OF A TIME WITH YOU NOW, YEAH ♪
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♪ I DON'T WANT TO SAY WHAT I DON'T MEAN ♪
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♪ BUT I'M TRYING JUST TO LET YOU KNOW ♪
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♪ THAT I DON'T WANT TO CAUSE A SCENE ♪
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♪ BUT I'M SORRY, IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO GO ♪
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♪ I DON'T WANT TO SAY WHAT I DON'T MEAN ♪
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♪ BUT I'M TRYING JUST TO LET YOU KNOW ♪
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♪ THAT I DON'T WANT TO CAUSE A SCENE ♪
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♪ BUT I'M SORRY, IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO GO ♪
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♪ DON'T WANT TO SAY WHAT I DON'T MEAN ♪
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♪ BUT I'M TRYING JUST TO LET YOU KNOW ♪
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♪ THAT I DON'T WANT TO CAUSE A SCENE ♪
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♪ BUT I'M SORRY, IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO GO ♪
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[HUMMING]
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[FUNK MUSIC PLAYING]
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[SIRENS IN DISTANCE]
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Announcer: WHEN TROUBLE RISES...
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[TIRES SQUEALING, GUNSHOTS]
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AND THERE'S NO ONE ELSE TO CALL,
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WHO DO YOU TURN TO?
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THIS SUMMER...
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ACTION GETS A LITTLE SENSITIVE.
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"FLIRTY HARRY."
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[MAN GROANING]
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[COCKS GUN] UH-UH-UH.
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GO AHEAD. MAKE ME GAY.
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Announcer: HE'S NEVER AFRAID TO TAKE ON THE ESTABLISHMENT.
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I TOLD YOU BEFORE, I AM NOT GOING
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TO WAIT AROUND FOR A BUNCH OF OTHER DICKS.
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NOT WHEN I HAVE AN OPENING TO TAKE THOSE GUYS FROM THE REAR.
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YEAH. I READ YOUR REPORT, HARRY.
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YEAH? YEAH.
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I DON'T THINK YOU UNDERSTAND, THOSE BOYS WERE PACKING HEAT.
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I MEAN, AS SOON AS I CAME, THOSE ASSHOLES OPENED UP.
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YEAH, OPENED UP AND STARTED SPRAYING EVERYWHERE.
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YEAH.
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I READ THAT, TOO, HARRY.
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SIR, I KNOW THIS IS A HEAVY LOAD.
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LOOK, I REALIZE I'M LEAVING YOU
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WITH A MESS ALL OVER YOUR FACE.
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SOMETIMES YOU GOT TO SWALLOW--[GULP]
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YOUR PRIDE, YOU KNOW? SUCK IT UP.
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OH, COME ON, HARRY,
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THESE ARE JUST WEIRD PHRASES YOU'RE USING NOW.
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WELL, WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY? SO I WENT IN.
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YEAH, I WENT IN DEEP, BALLS TO THE WALL.
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BUT I UNLOADED INTO BOTH OF THOSE ASSHOLES.
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ALL RIGHT, STOP, WILL YOU-- AND IT FELT GOOD!
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I READ THE FRICKIN' REPORT.
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LOOK, EVERYBODY IN THE DEPARTMENT GETS A PARTNER.
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THAT'S RIGHT, EVEN YOU, SUPER COP!
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HE'S A PIG, BUT HE'S RIGHT, HARRY.
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I DON'T HAVE TIME TO BREAK HIM IN.
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DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY PARTNERS YOU'VE HAD?
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HE'S A CANCER ON THIS FORCE!
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OH, PLEASE, THEY'LL SMELL THIS DIRTY ASSHOLE
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COMING A MILE AWAY. OH, COME ON.
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IT'S POLICY, HARRY. COMES FROM UP HIGH.
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SUPER COP.
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YOU SHUT UP.
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LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING. YEAH?
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CITY HALL'S BEEN TRYING TO GET ME TO BEND OVER A BARREL FOR YEARS.
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IF I AM GOING DOWN,
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I'M GOING DOWN HARD.
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I'M SORRY, AM I THE ONLY ONE THAT HAD AN ERECTION
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FROM WHEN HE STARTED TALKING, OR...
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SHUT UP, ROOKIE.
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["RIDE OF THE VALKYRIES" PLAYING]
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[SIRENS]
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[SNARLING]
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[NO AUDIO]
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HMM?
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OH, UH, OH!
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UHH!
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HEY, I'M JAMAL,
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AND THIS IS "BLACKASS."
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WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS, SHIT SOUP?!
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FUCK THIS! ARREST ME.
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OHH! WHAT THE FUCK?!
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[HUMMING]
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OH, HELLO.
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I'M ARI SHAFFIR.
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YOU KNOW, AMERICA'S HAD IT PRETTY ROUGH LATELY.
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AND IN TOUGH TIMES SUCH AS THESE,
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OUR COUNTRY TURNS TO ITS HEROES
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TO GIVE US BACK OUR SENSE OF SWAGGER.
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HEROES SUCH AS MYSELF.
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WELCOME TO "THE AMAZING RACIST."
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WE'RE HERE IN SOUTHEASTERN ARIZONA TODAY
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AT ONE OF THE TOUGHEST STRETCHES
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OF THE MEXICAN-AMERICAN BORDER.
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UH, PROBABLY RIGHT HERE--FROM HERE IT'S ABOUT 3 MILES DOWN--
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IS WHERE 40% OF THE ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS
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COME IN EVERY DAY.
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THEY ARE COMING IN AND STEALING OUR GARDENING JOBS,
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OUR NANNYING JOBS.
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THEY'RE BREASTFEEDING OUR WHITE BABIES
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WITH THEIR TRES LECHES MILK,
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AND RUINING OUR MINDS AND OUR SOULS.
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MY DAD WORKED AS AN ORANGE SALESMAN
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ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD, THE SIDE OF THE FREEWAY,
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FOR 37 YEARS BEFORE ONE OF THESE BROWN BOMBERS CAME IN
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AND UNDERCUT HIS BUSINESS, AND IT'S RIDICULOUS.
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BUT RIGHT OVER THERE, THAT'S MEXICO.
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THAT'S REAL--LIKE IF I TOOK A ROCK AND THROW IT,
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THIS IS AN ACT--THAT'S AN ACT OF WAR RIGHT NOW.
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I JUST INVADED MEXICO.
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AN INVASION THAT I'VE BEEN PETITIONING OUR GOVERNMENT
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TO START FOR OVER 10 YEARS,
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AND AS SOON AS WE GET A WHITE PRESIDENT BACK IN THE OFFICE,
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I WILL CONTINUE THOSE PETITIONS.
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IT'S REALLY RIDICULOUS.
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ALL RIGHT, IS THAT--
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Man: YEAH. ARE WE GOOD?
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- WE'RE GOOD. - ALL RIGHT.
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DUDE, DUDE!
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BRO, BRO! OH, MY--
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IS THAT FOR-- IS THAT--
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IS THAT FOR REAL HAPPENING, IS THAT FOR REAL?
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I THINK THAT WAS REALLY THEM.
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[LAUGHS] FOR REAL?
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MEXICANS!
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LIKE, THEY JUST RAN THROUGH THERE. DID YOU GET THAT?
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WE GOT IT. IS IT ON?
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I CAN'T BELIEVE WE GOT THAT.
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THAT IS--
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OH, MY GOD, DID WE GET THAT? THAT IS SO FUCKIN' SWEET!
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[BIRD SQUAWKING]
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HEY, EXCUSE ME. WHAT'S GOING ON?
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HEY, DID THEY LIKE--DO LIKE ILLEGALS COMES THROUGH HERE?
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LIKE, THE IMMIGRANTS LOOKING FOR WORK AND STUFF?
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A COUPLE TIMES A DAY.
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YEAH? EVERY NOW AND THEN.
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AND WHAT, PEOPLE JUST PICK THEM UP HERE? WHAT'S THE STORY?
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YEAH, PRETTY MUCH. YEAH.
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YOU'RE COOL WITH THAT?
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IT'S NORMAL AROUND HERE, MAN.
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- YEAH. AMERICAN JOBS. - YEAH.
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SOMEONE'S GOING TO GET YOUR JOB ONE DAY.
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- MAYBE SO. - MAYBE SO, DEFINITELY.
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YEAH. ALL RIGHT.
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HI.
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HOW ARE YOU? WHAT'S GOING ON?
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HEY, HOW YOU DOING, WHAT'S UP, MAN?
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WHAT'S UP, BROTHER?
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HOW YOU DOING? ALL RIGHT.
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HEY, WHERE ARE THE MEXICANS?
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UH, I DON'T KNOW--
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OH, GO FOR IT, I'M SORRY.
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ARE YOU--ARE YOU OK, MA'AM?
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YOU'RE NOT IN ANY DANGER?
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WHAT?
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BLINK IF THERE'S A PROBLEM.
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VOLKSWAGEN, I LIKE THIS.
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SOME GERMAN ENGINEERING.
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I LIKE THE GERMANS. THEY HAD SOME--
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THEY HAD SOME REALLY GOOD IDEAS.
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THEY HAD SOME REALLY GOOD ONES.
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MISUNDERSTOOD IN THE END, BUT--
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- IS THAT RIGHT? - YEAH.
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YEAH.
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WHAT TEAM DO YOU PLAY FOR?
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[LAUGHS]
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MA'AM, ARE YOU SURE?
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WHAT?
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I LIKE THIS, THE RACE MIXING. IT'S A GOOD THING.
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IT'S NOT ENOUGH TO STEAL OUR MONEY,
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YOU GOT TO STEAL OUR WHITE WOMEN, TOO.
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I LIKE YOU ANYWAY, THOUGH, MAN.
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YOU'RE ONE OF THOSE, LIKE,
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YOU'RE ONE OF THOSE LIKE WHITE BLACKS.
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IT'S REALLY QUITE REFRESHING.
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YOU'RE REALLY FUN, MAN, I TELL YOU WHAT.
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YOU'RE REALLY FUNNY.
246
00:13:06,485 --> 00:13:08,320
IF THEY WERE ALL LIKE YOU, MAN. IS THAT RIGHT?
247
00:13:08,354 --> 00:13:09,221
IF THEY WERE ALL LIKE YOU, IT WOULDN'T BE A PROBLEM.
248
00:13:09,255 --> 00:13:11,457
GOTCHA. NEVER WOULD HAVE HAD THE SIXTIES.
249
00:13:11,490 --> 00:13:12,658
I GOTCHA, I GOTCHA.
250
00:13:12,691 --> 00:13:14,460
YOU KNOW, I DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THE BACK OF THE BUS.
251
00:13:14,493 --> 00:13:15,494
IT'S COOLER THERE.
252
00:13:16,562 --> 00:13:17,530
BUT SOME PEOPLE GOT UPPITY, AND THEN IT'S LIKE,
253
00:13:17,563 --> 00:13:18,531
I WANT TO SIT IN THE FRONT, BUT I GUESS NOT.
254
00:13:18,564 --> 00:13:21,300
GET A LOAD OF THIS IDIOT RIGHT HERE. YEAH.
255
00:13:21,333 --> 00:13:22,501
YOU'RE JUST GOING TO DRIVE AWAY?
256
00:13:22,535 --> 00:13:23,569
YEAH, YEAH, I THINK SO, BUDDY.
257
00:13:23,602 --> 00:13:25,604
ALL RIGHT. I HOPE YOU DON'T GO TO JAIL TONIGHT.
258
00:13:25,638 --> 00:13:27,540
THAT'S YOUR FINAL SOLUTION, THEN, JUST DRIVE AWAY
259
00:13:27,573 --> 00:13:30,409
IN YOUR--YOUR GERMAN ENGINEERED CAR.
260
00:13:30,442 --> 00:13:33,212
ALL RIGHT.
261
00:13:33,245 --> 00:13:35,281
[WIND CHIMES CHIMING]
262
00:13:35,314 --> 00:13:38,484
BRO, YOU WANT A JOB? YOU LOOKING FOR WORK?
263
00:13:38,517 --> 00:13:40,553
I'M WAITING FOR MY WIFE. SHE'S COMING TO PICK ME UP.
264
00:13:40,586 --> 00:13:42,521
BUT IN THE MEANTIME, DO YOU WANT A JOB?
265
00:13:42,555 --> 00:13:45,391
I GOT LIKE FULL-TIME JOB WORK. YOU LOOKING FOR ANYTHING?
266
00:13:45,424 --> 00:13:47,493
NOT REALLY. I'M JUST WAITING FOR MY WIFE.
267
00:13:47,526 --> 00:13:49,395
ALL RIGHT. WHERE'D YOU GET THAT WATER?
268
00:13:49,428 --> 00:13:51,463
IN THERE. DID YOU PAY FOR IT?
269
00:13:51,497 --> 00:13:52,631
OF COURSE.
270
00:13:52,665 --> 00:13:54,500
WITH FOOD STAMPS?
271
00:13:54,533 --> 00:13:55,534
[SCOFFS]
272
00:13:56,635 --> 00:13:59,505
MY GOVERNMENT'S SUPPORTING YOU, BRO. IT'S ALL RIGHT.
273
00:14:07,146 --> 00:14:10,549
OH, HEY, HEY. YOU LOOKING FOR WORK?
274
00:14:10,583 --> 00:14:12,551
TRABAJO? OH, SI.
275
00:14:12,585 --> 00:14:16,021
TRABAJO. DO YOU SPEAK SPANISH? DO YOU SPEAK ENGLISH?
276
00:14:16,055 --> 00:14:17,489
OH, SI.
277
00:14:17,523 --> 00:14:19,491
YO SOY BUENO. BUENO.
278
00:14:19,525 --> 00:14:23,529
YO BUENO. TRABAJO. ALL RIGHT, COME ON, LET'S DO THIS.
279
00:14:23,562 --> 00:14:24,597
YO BUENO.
280
00:14:24,630 --> 00:14:26,565
YEAH, TRABAJO, COME ON.
281
00:14:26,599 --> 00:14:28,400
WE GOT YOU LOTS OF AMERICAN JOBS,
282
00:14:28,434 --> 00:14:31,136
WHERE YOU CAN EAT THAT CORN ON A STICK.
283
00:14:31,170 --> 00:14:32,471
AND YOU SAVE UP MONEY, DINERO, AND BUY A LOW RIDER
284
00:14:32,504 --> 00:14:34,540
AND JUST FUCKING RUIN THE NEIGHBORHOODS,
285
00:14:34,573 --> 00:14:36,508
BRING PROPERTY VALUES DOWN FOR EVERYBODY.
286
00:14:36,542 --> 00:14:37,543
SI. DINERO, GRACIAS.
287
00:14:37,576 --> 00:14:39,545
YEAH, THAT'S THE DREAM, MAN.
288
00:14:39,578 --> 00:14:41,547
WE'LL TRABAJO THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR SHIT, BRO.
289
00:14:41,580 --> 00:14:42,381
TRABAJO? YES, YES,
290
00:14:42,414 --> 00:14:43,816
THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT, JOSE.
291
00:14:43,849 --> 00:14:49,188
THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. YOU'RE WELCOME. GRACIAS. ENJOY YOURSELF.
292
00:14:50,522 --> 00:14:53,425
[LAUGHING]
293
00:14:53,459 --> 00:14:56,028
[SPEAKING SPANISH] PLEASE!
294
00:14:56,061 --> 00:14:58,130
iPOR FAVOR! iANDALE!
295
00:14:58,163 --> 00:15:00,499
iSENOR, SENOR, NO, NO, NO!
296
00:15:00,532 --> 00:15:03,469
[YELLING IN SPANISH]
297
00:15:04,603 --> 00:15:07,172
HEY! HEY!
298
00:15:07,206 --> 00:15:10,609
[YELLING IN SPANISH]
299
00:15:12,611 --> 00:15:15,547
I GOT ONE FOR YOU, BRO.
300
00:15:15,581 --> 00:15:16,582
WHERE'S MY BOUNTY?
301
00:15:16,615 --> 00:15:18,317
SIR, DON'T GET OUT OF THE CAR.
302
00:15:18,350 --> 00:15:19,518
I FUCKING GOT ONE.
303
00:15:19,551 --> 00:15:20,586
FIND A BLACK, GOT TO PARK THAT.
304
00:15:20,619 --> 00:15:23,322
WHOO! BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME, PACO.
305
00:15:23,355 --> 00:15:24,590
[SPEAKING SPANISH]
306
00:15:24,623 --> 00:15:26,325
SIR, HANDS ON THE-- HANDS ON THE RAMP.
307
00:15:26,358 --> 00:15:28,060
PUT YOUR HANDS ON THE-- PUT YOUR HANDS ON THE BARS.
308
00:15:28,093 --> 00:15:30,529
HANDS UP, ON THE BARS. HANDS ON THE BARS. OK.
309
00:15:30,562 --> 00:15:32,598
PLEASE EXPLAIN TO THIS GUY TO GET OFF ME,
310
00:15:32,631 --> 00:15:34,266
THAT I'M AN AMERICAN.
311
00:15:34,300 --> 00:15:36,035
JEW S.A. WHAT?
312
00:15:36,068 --> 00:15:37,603
A JEW S.A. NO, U.S.A.!
313
00:15:37,636 --> 00:15:39,571
SIR-- NO, NOT JEW S.A.!
314
00:15:39,605 --> 00:15:41,607
U.S.A.!
315
00:15:41,640 --> 00:15:42,708
WHY IS THERE A MAN IN THE BACK OF YOUR TRUCK?
316
00:15:42,741 --> 00:15:46,345
YES, EXACTLY. WHY DO I HAVE TO CATCH MEXICANS
317
00:15:46,378 --> 00:15:47,546
ON OUR SIDE OF THE FUCKING BORDER?
318
00:15:47,579 --> 00:15:49,615
THAT'S EXACTLY THE RIGHT QUESTION.
319
00:15:49,648 --> 00:15:50,416
JEW CRAZY, MAN.
320
00:15:50,449 --> 00:15:52,484
DID YOU CALL ME A JEW? YEAH, JEW.
321
00:15:52,518 --> 00:15:53,585
DO YOU KNOW THIS MAN? JEW.
322
00:15:53,619 --> 00:15:55,321
WHY IS HE-- WHY IS IN THE CAGE?
323
00:15:56,522 --> 00:15:57,523
AND FUCKING STAY THERE! DON'T YOU EVER FUCKING CALL ME A JEW!
324
00:15:57,556 --> 00:15:59,525
PUT HIM DOWN, PUT HIM DOWN, PUT HIM DOWN.
325
00:15:59,558 --> 00:16:03,395
PUT HIM DOWN. NO, NO!
326
00:16:05,631 --> 00:16:07,599
I'M SWADE WITH "BLACKASS,"
327
00:16:07,633 --> 00:16:11,537
AND WE LIKE TO CALL THIS ONE THE JOHNSON JOUST.
328
00:16:12,638 --> 00:16:14,506
WHATEVER, OPEN YOUR MOUTH WIDE.
329
00:16:14,540 --> 00:16:15,641
GET READY FOR IT, WE COMING FOR YOU.
330
00:16:15,674 --> 00:16:18,043
[INDISTINCT] YOU READY?
331
00:16:18,077 --> 00:16:20,546
GO FOR HIS FACE BECAUSE HE USED TO KISSIN' 'EM.
332
00:16:20,579 --> 00:16:21,547
WE GOT YOU.
333
00:16:21,580 --> 00:16:23,382
OHH!
334
00:16:23,415 --> 00:16:25,184
IT STAYED THAT HARD WHEN HE WAS WITH A MAN.
335
00:16:25,217 --> 00:16:26,819
OHH!
336
00:16:26,852 --> 00:16:28,520
SHUT THE FUCK UP!
337
00:16:28,554 --> 00:16:30,222
THAT'S RIGHT.
338
00:16:30,255 --> 00:16:32,624
FUCK YOU, NIGGA. NIGGA, CHECK OUT MY KING KONG SHIT.
339
00:16:32,658 --> 00:16:34,560
MY KING KONG SHIT, BITCH.
340
00:16:34,593 --> 00:16:36,261
YEAH, YOUR SHIT LITTLE.
341
00:16:36,295 --> 00:16:39,198
ALL THIS DICK AND NO BALLS, SHUT THE FUCK UP.
342
00:16:39,231 --> 00:16:41,533
[ALL YELLING]
343
00:16:45,637 --> 00:16:48,107
OH, SH--
344
00:16:49,174 --> 00:16:51,643
OHH!
345
00:16:51,677 --> 00:16:53,612
OHH! TO THE FACE!
346
00:16:53,645 --> 00:16:54,847
TO THE FACE!
347
00:16:54,880 --> 00:16:56,582
YOU ALL RIGHT, BABY? YOU ALL RIGHT?
348
00:16:56,615 --> 00:16:58,617
WATCH THAT THING. WATCH THAT THING.
349
00:16:58,650 --> 00:17:02,388
OK, TURN AROUND, MAN.
350
00:17:02,421 --> 00:17:04,623
YOU'RE TOUCHING MY DICK, NIGGA!
351
00:17:04,656 --> 00:17:07,593
[INDISTINCT CHATTER AND LAUGHTER]
352
00:17:10,896 --> 00:17:12,564
BOOM, NIGGA.
353
00:17:12,598 --> 00:17:14,633
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
354
00:17:14,666 --> 00:17:18,404
OH, SHIT.
355
00:17:20,539 --> 00:17:23,175
[HUMMING]
356
00:17:23,208 --> 00:17:25,577
[MUSIC PLAYING]
357
00:17:44,296 --> 00:17:47,666
WELCOME TO "THE PORNO REVIEW" PODCAST. I'M JD.
358
00:17:47,699 --> 00:17:51,637
AND I'M HARRIET WITH YOUR FEMALE PERSPECTIVE.
359
00:17:51,670 --> 00:17:53,205
WELL, LIKE MOST GUYS, HARRIET,
360
00:17:53,238 --> 00:17:54,440
I HOPE WE GO STRAIGHT TO THE TITTIES.
361
00:17:54,473 --> 00:17:56,308
NOT A LOT OF "TALKING." NO NEED TO WORRY.
362
00:17:56,341 --> 00:17:58,644
TODAY'S FILM IS AN INTERNATIONAL ONE.
363
00:17:58,677 --> 00:17:59,912
AH, GREAT, A FOREIGN FILM.
364
00:17:59,945 --> 00:18:03,482
YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS. SUBTITLES COVERING UP THE BUSH.
365
00:18:03,515 --> 00:18:04,750
RELAX! HE'S A SEASONED DIRECTOR.
366
00:18:04,783 --> 00:18:08,554
HE WOULD NEVER SCREW UP GOOD JAPANESE SNATCH WITH SUBTITLES.
367
00:18:08,587 --> 00:18:11,256
WELL, I WILL BELIEVE THAT WHEN I SEE IT.
368
00:18:11,290 --> 00:18:14,259
[PROJECTOR STARTING]
369
00:18:18,330 --> 00:18:22,868
OH, HONEY, PLEASE TAKE OFF THAT TACKY HAT, IT MAKE YOU LOOK GAY.
370
00:18:22,901 --> 00:18:24,903
OH, SORRY, HONEY, I TAKE IT OFF.
371
00:18:24,937 --> 00:18:28,640
I WANT TO MAKE LOVE TO YOU, SUSHI MAMA.
372
00:18:28,674 --> 00:18:30,843
I GIVE YOU FOREPLAY.
373
00:18:31,677 --> 00:18:32,911
LICK TONGUE.
374
00:18:32,945 --> 00:18:35,214
OH, I FEEL SO GOOD.
375
00:18:35,247 --> 00:18:37,382
OH, I WANT YOU TO SUCK.
376
00:18:37,416 --> 00:18:39,852
[GAGGING]
377
00:18:39,885 --> 00:18:43,388
OH, I HIT A NUT. GOOD MOVE.
378
00:18:43,422 --> 00:18:45,924
OH, ALL RIGHT, STAND UP, I WANT TO SEE YOU NAKED NOW.
379
00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:46,625
TAKING CLOTHES OFF.
380
00:18:46,658 --> 00:18:50,295
THAT'S NICE. I LIKE IT A LOT.
381
00:18:50,329 --> 00:18:53,866
MOTORBOAT. YOU LOVE THE MOTORBOAT.
382
00:18:53,899 --> 00:18:56,401
MOTORBOAT. DO THE MOTORBOAT.
383
00:18:56,435 --> 00:18:58,604
TONIGHT WE MAKE LOVE ON SACRED TABLE.
384
00:18:58,637 --> 00:19:00,239
WE NEVER MAKE LOVE ON SACRED TABLE.
385
00:19:00,272 --> 00:19:02,941
I SET YOU DOWN SOFTLY, MY LITTLE FLOWER.
386
00:19:02,975 --> 00:19:04,910
OH, THANK YOU. AAAH!
387
00:19:04,943 --> 00:19:08,947
YOU BROKE SACRED TABLE! AYYY!
388
00:19:08,981 --> 00:19:11,884
I KILL YOU! AAH!
389
00:19:11,917 --> 00:19:14,419
OHH! I SO SORRY.
390
00:19:14,453 --> 00:19:17,656
I GOT TO CONTROL MY TEMPER. OWW!
391
00:19:17,689 --> 00:19:18,957
BITCH, I KILL YOU.
392
00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:20,959
I REALLY AM SORRY THIS TIME, I SWEAR.
393
00:19:20,993 --> 00:19:23,328
ANGER MANAGEMENT. AHH.
394
00:19:23,362 --> 00:19:25,931
THAT IS WRONG. THAT IS WRONG.
395
00:19:25,964 --> 00:19:27,432
IT'S FOREPLAY TIME NOW.
396
00:19:27,466 --> 00:19:30,969
I GIVE YOU COMPILATION, HONG KONG HUSTLE.
397
00:19:31,003 --> 00:19:33,906
AND THE DOGGY. WE DO THE DOGGY.
398
00:19:33,939 --> 00:19:35,073
YOU LIKE THE DOGGY? I DO THE DOGGY.
399
00:19:35,107 --> 00:19:38,911
IN YOUR FACE WITH THE DOGGY. YOU CAN DO THE DOGGY, TOO.
400
00:19:38,944 --> 00:19:39,878
HA HA HA!
401
00:19:40,746 --> 00:19:42,948
HOW YOU LIKE THAT RIGHT THERE? HUH?
402
00:19:42,981 --> 00:19:44,917
LOOK AT MY NIPPLES!
403
00:19:44,950 --> 00:19:47,386
THIS IS STARTING TO RESEMBLE GAY PORN.
404
00:19:47,419 --> 00:19:48,587
HOO-RAH!
405
00:19:48,620 --> 00:19:51,523
OK. I WANT A LITTLE NUMBER 69,
406
00:19:51,557 --> 00:19:54,660
AND I DON'T MEAN MONGOLIAN BEEF WITH SNOW PEAS.
407
00:19:54,693 --> 00:19:58,363
GIVE IT TO ME!
408
00:19:58,964 --> 00:20:01,867
GOOD MORNING, EVERYBODY.
409
00:20:01,900 --> 00:20:02,768
GOOD NEWS!
410
00:20:02,801 --> 00:20:07,005
YOU ALL GET A RAISE-- ONE CENT A WEEK.
411
00:20:07,039 --> 00:20:08,473
CONGRATS.
412
00:20:08,507 --> 00:20:11,376
THAT'S FANTASTIC, SIR, THANK YOU.
413
00:20:11,410 --> 00:20:13,312
COME ON, THIS IS RIDICULOUS.
414
00:20:13,345 --> 00:20:14,346
[CHUCKLES]
415
00:20:15,280 --> 00:20:15,914
ALL RIGHT, FELLAS, HURRY UP ON THE SHOES.
416
00:20:15,948 --> 00:20:18,283
WE'VE GOT SHAMWOWS TO MAKE.
417
00:20:18,317 --> 00:20:21,286
SIR, I THOUGHT THOSE WERE MADE IN GERMANY.
418
00:20:21,320 --> 00:20:23,989
HA HA! NO.
419
00:20:24,022 --> 00:20:26,692
OH, YEAH, FUCK ME, MR. MIYAGI.
420
00:20:26,725 --> 00:20:28,460
PUT IT IN ME, BRUCE LEE.
421
00:20:28,493 --> 00:20:31,029
OH, YEAH, IRON CHEF THAT PUSSY.
422
00:20:31,063 --> 00:20:33,498
WHAT IS THIS SILHOUETTE BULLSHIT?
423
00:20:33,532 --> 00:20:34,700
I CALL YOUR PUSSY RHIANNA,
424
00:20:34,733 --> 00:20:36,635
'CAUSE MY DICK'S GOING TO BEAT IT
425
00:20:36,668 --> 00:20:38,003
LIKE IT'S CHRIS BROWN.
426
00:20:38,036 --> 00:20:38,937
OH! OH, YEAH.
427
00:20:38,971 --> 00:20:40,939
TELL ME I'M GOOD AT MATH.
428
00:20:40,973 --> 00:20:43,008
YOU SO GOOD AT MATH.
429
00:20:43,041 --> 00:20:46,011
I LOVE THE SEX. YOU ARE A VIRGIN.
430
00:20:46,044 --> 00:20:47,045
NO, I'M NOT VIRGIN.
431
00:20:48,213 --> 00:20:50,048
I'VE HAD MORE WIENERS THAN EATING CHAMP KOBAYASHI.
432
00:20:50,082 --> 00:20:53,051
OH, YOU BITCH, I THOUGHT YOU WERE A VIRGIN!
433
00:20:53,085 --> 00:20:55,020
MY PENIS BURNING!
434
00:20:55,053 --> 00:20:57,055
SUSHI MAMA!
435
00:20:57,089 --> 00:21:00,592
[YELLING AND GROANING]
436
00:21:02,928 --> 00:21:05,063
WELL, I DON'T LIKE IT.
437
00:21:05,097 --> 00:21:07,933
RELAX! DOESN'T BE SO PESSIMISTIC.
438
00:21:07,966 --> 00:21:09,167
I WANT TO SEE A CHICK GET NAKED.
439
00:21:09,201 --> 00:21:13,071
A SILHOUETTE SCENE LIKE THIS LEAVES ROOM FOR INTERPRETATION.
440
00:21:13,105 --> 00:21:15,407
IS HE PUNCHING HER IN THE STOMACH?
441
00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:18,076
IS HE FISTING HER IN THE VAJOOSH?
442
00:21:18,110 --> 00:21:19,411
WE DECIDE.
443
00:21:19,444 --> 00:21:21,346
YOU ARE ONE SICK LADY. YOU KNOW?
444
00:21:21,380 --> 00:21:23,515
I JUST THINK I HEARD MY DICK GASP.
445
00:21:23,548 --> 00:21:24,516
WAIT A MINUTE.
446
00:21:24,549 --> 00:21:27,085
WHY IS THE GUY DANCING AND WEARING A DIAPER?
447
00:21:27,119 --> 00:21:28,053
I DON'T GET THAT.
448
00:21:29,254 --> 00:21:31,356
IN JAPANESE CULTURE, FOREPLAY IS AN INTRICATE CEREMONY.
449
00:21:31,390 --> 00:21:33,959
JAPANESE MEN ARE MORE SENSITIVE TO THE CLIT.
450
00:21:33,992 --> 00:21:36,962
I GUESS BECAUSE THEIR PENIS RESEMBLES ONE.
451
00:21:36,995 --> 00:21:38,530
HMM. OH, YEAH, YEAH. OK.
452
00:21:38,563 --> 00:21:40,966
I GUESS THE SYMBOLISM HERE IS SUPPOSED TO MEAN
453
00:21:40,999 --> 00:21:42,968
THE GUY'S LOVE FOR THE WOMAN IS SO STRONG,
454
00:21:43,001 --> 00:21:44,102
THAT'S WHAT BREAKS THE TABLE.
455
00:21:44,136 --> 00:21:46,371
AND THEN HE PUNCHES HERE IN HER SLANT-EYED POONTANG.
456
00:21:46,405 --> 00:21:50,075
OK, LET'S GO TO THE BUCKET. I CAN'T WATCH ANY MORE.
457
00:21:50,108 --> 00:21:52,077
I THINK IT'S GONNA BE LESS THAN 1.
458
00:21:52,110 --> 00:21:53,512
WHAT DO YOU GOT, BOB?
459
00:21:53,545 --> 00:21:55,047
[GROANS]
460
00:21:55,080 --> 00:21:56,114
[GAGS]
461
00:21:56,148 --> 00:21:58,617
ALL RIGHT, WHAT DO WE GOT NEXT?
462
00:21:58,650 --> 00:22:00,419
HOLD ON.
463
00:22:00,452 --> 00:22:02,054
ALL RIGHT, OK. BUT WHILE SHE'S THROWING UP,
464
00:22:02,087 --> 00:22:04,056
LET'S TAKE A BREAK.
465
00:22:04,089 --> 00:22:06,124
[VOMITING]
466
00:22:06,158 --> 00:22:08,026
THAT'S NOT GOOD.
467
00:22:08,060 --> 00:22:10,429
SEE YA NEXT TIME.
468
00:22:10,462 --> 00:22:12,097
[HUMMING]
469
00:22:13,065 --> 00:22:16,168
WE GOT A BIG SURPRISE FOR YOUR 21st BIRTHDAY.
470
00:22:16,201 --> 00:22:18,003
COME ON, COME ON!
471
00:22:18,036 --> 00:22:19,004
WHY AM I HOLDING A SPEAR?
472
00:22:19,037 --> 00:22:21,073
IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY STICK.
473
00:22:21,106 --> 00:22:24,109
MY BIRTHDAY STICK? WHAT?
474
00:22:24,142 --> 00:22:26,545
All: OHH!
475
00:22:26,578 --> 00:22:27,579
[LAUGHTER]
476
00:22:27,612 --> 00:22:29,981
THAT NIGGA HURT, THAT NIGGA HURT!
477
00:22:30,015 --> 00:22:31,016
LOOK AT THAT NIGGA HURT!
478
00:22:31,049 --> 00:22:33,485
THE DAMN MOTHERFUCKER-- DAMN!
479
00:22:33,518 --> 00:22:35,087
OH, SHIT!
480
00:22:35,120 --> 00:22:38,023
WHOO! WHAT THE FUCK?
481
00:22:38,056 --> 00:22:40,425
YOU HAVE TO FIGHT THAT MOTHERFUCKER!
482
00:22:40,459 --> 00:22:43,528
OH, SHIT!
483
00:22:43,562 --> 00:22:45,964
[HUMMING]
484
00:22:45,997 --> 00:22:47,532
Announcer: IN SAN FRANCISCO,
485
00:22:47,566 --> 00:22:51,436
WHEN TROUBLE CALLS, ONE MAN ANSWERS.
486
00:22:51,470 --> 00:22:54,172
FLIRTY HARRY.
487
00:22:54,206 --> 00:22:57,042
READY TO STAND UP FOR WHAT HE BELIEVES IN.
488
00:22:57,075 --> 00:23:00,045
YOU MUST HAVE SOME BIG BALLS
489
00:23:00,078 --> 00:23:03,949
COMING IN MY FACE... LIKE THAT.
490
00:23:03,982 --> 00:23:06,151
I'VE HAD MY FILL OF YOUR MOUTH, HARRY!
491
00:23:06,184 --> 00:23:10,055
I WILL BUST YOUR ASS DOWN TO TRAFFIC COP!
492
00:23:10,088 --> 00:23:13,058
GO AHEAD. HMM?
493
00:23:13,091 --> 00:23:15,594
BUST MY ASS.
494
00:23:15,627 --> 00:23:17,529
NO, NO.
495
00:23:17,562 --> 00:23:18,630
NO, NO, NO.
496
00:23:18,663 --> 00:23:21,500
NO, NO, NO!
497
00:23:22,567 --> 00:23:25,070
Announcer: LOVED BY THE PEOPLE,
498
00:23:25,103 --> 00:23:27,172
HE'S A MAN'S MAN.
499
00:23:27,205 --> 00:23:29,141
WOULD YOU LIKE TO SAMPLE MY NUTS?
500
00:23:29,174 --> 00:23:32,077
I'LL POP A COUPLE IN MY MOUTH, SURE.
501
00:23:32,110 --> 00:23:35,947
THESE ARE EXTRA SALTY.
502
00:23:35,981 --> 00:23:37,249
Announcer: AND CRIMINALS KNOW
503
00:23:37,282 --> 00:23:40,952
HE MEANS BUSINESS.
504
00:23:41,119 --> 00:23:42,921
MOVE, MOTHERFUCKER.
505
00:23:42,954 --> 00:23:45,090
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU LOOKING AT, ASSHOLE?
506
00:23:45,123 --> 00:23:46,925
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU LOOKING AT?!
507
00:23:46,958 --> 00:23:49,561
YOU'RE GOING TO DO WHAT I TELL YOU, RIGHT?
508
00:23:49,594 --> 00:23:51,096
[CRUNCH]
509
00:23:51,129 --> 00:23:54,166
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING, YOU COCKSUCKING PIG?
510
00:23:54,199 --> 00:23:55,567
EASY, NOW.
511
00:23:55,600 --> 00:23:57,636
I KNOW YOU'RE READY TO BLOW.
512
00:23:57,669 --> 00:24:01,173
I'M JUST GOING TO PUSH A STOOL IN
513
00:24:01,206 --> 00:24:02,707
REAL SLOW.
514
00:24:02,741 --> 00:24:04,242
THINKING ABOUT BLOWING FUCKING BRAINS
515
00:24:04,276 --> 00:24:07,279
ALL OVER THE FUCKING WALL, MAN PIG. BACK UP.
516
00:24:07,312 --> 00:24:09,247
[COCKS GUN]
517
00:24:09,281 --> 00:24:11,116
GO AHEAD.
518
00:24:11,149 --> 00:24:13,285
BLOW 'EM. HUH?
519
00:24:13,318 --> 00:24:16,621
AWAY. [KISS]
520
00:24:16,655 --> 00:24:19,191
[EXHALES]
521
00:24:19,224 --> 00:24:22,661
Announcer: "FLIRTY HARRY,"
522
00:24:22,694 --> 00:24:28,133
COMING OUT THIS SUMMER.
523
00:24:32,170 --> 00:24:34,973
HI. I'M ARI SHAFFIR.
524
00:24:35,006 --> 00:24:36,975
YOU KNOW, ACCORDING TO EXPERTS AT WIKIPEDIA,
525
00:24:37,008 --> 00:24:40,145
ASIAN DRIVERS ACCOUNT FOR 56% OF ALL TRAFFIC DEATHS
526
00:24:40,178 --> 00:24:42,113
IN THE U.S. EVERY SINGLE DAY.
527
00:24:42,147 --> 00:24:44,282
THAT'S MORE DEATHS THAN SLAVERY
528
00:24:44,316 --> 00:24:46,184
OR "THE HOLOCAUST" COMBINED.
529
00:24:46,218 --> 00:24:48,153
WHETHER THEY'RE TAKING THEIR CARS
530
00:24:48,186 --> 00:24:49,254
AND PLOWING INTO OUR FARMERS MARKETS
531
00:24:49,287 --> 00:24:52,157
OR TAKING THEIR PLANES AND PLOWING INTO PEARL HARBORS,
532
00:24:52,190 --> 00:24:54,292
THEY'RE JUST NOT SAFE BEHIND THE WHEEL.
533
00:24:54,326 --> 00:24:56,294
SO EITHER START AN INTERNMENT CAMP,
534
00:24:56,328 --> 00:24:58,129
WHICH IS ILLEGAL, OR DO WHAT I DO,
535
00:24:58,163 --> 00:25:01,199
THAT'S ARI'S DRIVING SCHOOL FOR THE ROUND-EYE IMPAIRED,
536
00:25:01,233 --> 00:25:02,667
TO HELP TEACH THESE YELLOW KITTIES
537
00:25:02,701 --> 00:25:04,669
HOW TO HANDLE TOUGH, AMERICAN VEHICLES.
538
00:25:04,703 --> 00:25:06,271
WON'T DON'T YOU JOIN ME TODAY?
539
00:25:06,304 --> 00:25:10,976
WELCOME TO "THE AMAZING RACIST."
540
00:25:11,810 --> 00:25:14,045
HI, I'M CHRISTINA.
541
00:25:14,079 --> 00:25:16,147
OH. HI, HOW ARE YOU? GOOD.
542
00:25:16,181 --> 00:25:17,182
MY NAME'S ARI.
543
00:25:17,215 --> 00:25:18,950
HI, ARI, NICE TO MEET YOU.
544
00:25:18,984 --> 00:25:20,685
HOW ARE YOU? I-- HOW ARE YOU?
545
00:25:20,719 --> 00:25:23,255
I WILL BE YOUR INSTRUCTOR TODAY.
546
00:25:23,288 --> 00:25:24,256
OK.
547
00:25:24,289 --> 00:25:26,258
YOUR INSTRUCTOR.
548
00:25:26,291 --> 00:25:28,960
OR SENSEI. UM... OK.
549
00:25:28,994 --> 00:25:31,196
OK, PUT YOUR SEATBELT ON.
550
00:25:31,229 --> 00:25:33,164
YOU'RE VERY GOOD-LOOKING.
551
00:25:33,198 --> 00:25:34,366
NICE. WHAT?
552
00:25:34,399 --> 00:25:37,068
IT'S GOOD TO LOOK. OH, OK.
553
00:25:37,102 --> 00:25:38,703
HELLO, CHARLIE, HOW ARE YOU?
554
00:25:38,737 --> 00:25:40,272
HI, UH, STEVE.
555
00:25:40,305 --> 00:25:42,240
IT'S NICE TO, UH...
556
00:25:42,274 --> 00:25:44,276
NICE TO MEET YOU.
557
00:25:44,309 --> 00:25:46,244
OH. NICE TO MEET YOU, TOO.
558
00:25:46,278 --> 00:25:48,380
UH, OK, SO, UM,
559
00:25:48,413 --> 00:25:50,982
YEAH, DEFINITELY PUT YOUR SEATBELT ON.
560
00:25:51,016 --> 00:25:53,018
UM...
561
00:25:53,051 --> 00:25:54,286
GO AHEAD AND, UH, PULL OUT.
562
00:25:54,319 --> 00:25:55,720
SHOULD I CHECK MY MIRRORS, OR...
563
00:25:57,022 --> 00:25:58,189
IT'S NOT GOING TO MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE, DUDE, BUT GO AHEAD.
564
00:25:58,223 --> 00:25:59,291
STRAIGHT UP WHERE YOU'RE GOING, YOU'RE LOOKING GOOD.
565
00:25:59,324 --> 00:26:02,961
YOU'RE--YOU'RE AN AUTHORIZED INSTRUCTOR, RIGHT?
566
00:26:02,994 --> 00:26:04,329
EASY--YES, I'M AN AUTHORIZED INSTRUCTOR. BE CAREFUL.
567
00:26:04,362 --> 00:26:07,165
THIS ISN'T TIANANMEN SQUARE. THIS IS NOT A TANK.
568
00:26:07,198 --> 00:26:08,333
OK. THIS IS A CAR.
569
00:26:08,366 --> 00:26:09,301
OK, SORRY.
570
00:26:09,334 --> 00:26:10,235
YOUR EYES, IT WOULD BE GOOD
571
00:26:10,268 --> 00:26:12,237
IF YOU COULD OPEN YOUR EYES A LITTLE BIT.
572
00:26:12,270 --> 00:26:14,272
JUST POP THEM OPEN.
573
00:26:14,306 --> 00:26:16,308
IF YOU JUST OPEN THEM UP.
574
00:26:16,341 --> 00:26:18,043
YEAH. JUST TRY TO--
575
00:26:18,076 --> 00:26:20,111
YEAH, TRY TO KEEP THEM OPEN.
576
00:26:20,145 --> 00:26:22,280
LOOK WHAT I'M DOING. SEE MY EYES?
577
00:26:22,314 --> 00:26:24,316
HOW THEY'RE OPEN? YEAH.
578
00:26:24,349 --> 00:26:26,017
CAN YOU TRY TO DO THAT?
579
00:26:26,051 --> 00:26:27,719
THEY-- THEY ARE OPEN.
580
00:26:27,752 --> 00:26:29,321
EHH...
581
00:26:29,354 --> 00:26:32,257
HOW MUCH DO YOU THINK A MASSAGE WOULD COST?
582
00:26:32,290 --> 00:26:33,291
LIKE A--
583
00:26:33,325 --> 00:26:35,393
I DON'T-- I DON'T KNOW.
584
00:26:35,427 --> 00:26:39,164
BUT LIKE, YOU KNOW...
585
00:26:39,197 --> 00:26:41,399
ONE OF THOSE MASSAGES.
586
00:26:41,433 --> 00:26:43,001
WHAT?
587
00:26:43,034 --> 00:26:45,203
WHAT--
588
00:26:45,236 --> 00:26:46,237
[EXHALES]
589
00:26:47,105 --> 00:26:48,406
DID I DO SOMETHING WRONG, OR--
590
00:26:48,440 --> 00:26:50,108
IT'S JUST, YOU'RE DRIVING REALLY FUCKIN' DANGEROUS RIGHT NOW.
591
00:26:50,141 --> 00:26:52,277
PLEASE, JUST TRY TO CONCENTRATE ON THE ROAD.
592
00:26:52,310 --> 00:26:53,311
OPEN YOUR EYES!
593
00:26:53,345 --> 00:26:56,214
COME ON. ALL RIGHT, LISTEN.
594
00:26:59,217 --> 00:27:02,020
JUST STAY THERE.
595
00:27:02,053 --> 00:27:04,022
UM...
596
00:27:04,055 --> 00:27:06,191
JUST--PLEASE, STAY ON THE ROAD, STAY ON THE ROAD.
597
00:27:06,224 --> 00:27:07,325
I DON'T KNOW IF THIS IS SAFE.
598
00:27:07,359 --> 00:27:11,262
PLEASE, IT'S SAFER THAN HAVING YOUR EYES HALF CLOSED.
599
00:27:11,296 --> 00:27:14,432
UH, OK.
600
00:27:14,466 --> 00:27:17,335
OK.
601
00:27:17,802 --> 00:27:20,038
THAT EYE IS WAY BETTER, RIGHT?
602
00:27:20,071 --> 00:27:22,073
YOU CAN SEE BETTER OUT OF THAT EYE NOW?
603
00:27:22,107 --> 00:27:23,775
UH, I GUESS SO, YEAH.
604
00:27:23,808 --> 00:27:26,244
DO YOU NOTICE A DIFFERENCE?
605
00:27:26,277 --> 00:27:29,080
YEAH, YEAH.
606
00:27:30,081 --> 00:27:31,783
STAY ON THE ROAD, STAY ON THE ROAD.
607
00:27:31,816 --> 00:27:33,385
YOU'RE DOING GREAT, YOU'RE DOING FINE.
608
00:27:33,418 --> 00:27:37,455
YOU'RE DOING FINE. THERE WE GO.
609
00:27:37,489 --> 00:27:39,391
CAREFUL, CAREFUL, PLEASE BE CAREFUL.
610
00:27:39,424 --> 00:27:40,692
PLEASE BE CAREFUL, PLEASE BE CAREFUL.
611
00:27:40,725 --> 00:27:43,261
MAYBE AFTER THIS, UH, SOME SORT OF HAND JOB OR SOMETHING.
612
00:27:43,294 --> 00:27:45,230
WHAT? JUST STRAIGHT UP.
613
00:27:45,263 --> 00:27:46,264
S.A.T. QUESTION.
614
00:27:47,298 --> 00:27:51,002
UM, WHITE PEOPLE ARE TO LOVING THEIR DAUGHTERS
615
00:27:51,036 --> 00:27:55,373
AS ASIAN PEOPLE ARE TO...
616
00:27:55,407 --> 00:27:57,342
UM...I DON'T KNOW.
617
00:27:57,375 --> 00:27:59,411
BLANK THEIR DAUGHTERS.
618
00:27:59,444 --> 00:28:02,781
WHITE PEOPLE LOVE...DAUGHTERS.
619
00:28:02,814 --> 00:28:06,351
WHEN ASIAN PEOPLE HAVE DAUGHTERS, THEY...
620
00:28:06,384 --> 00:28:08,086
CAN ONLY HAVE ONE?
621
00:28:08,119 --> 00:28:10,288
THEY KILL THEM. THEY BURY THEM ALIVE
622
00:28:10,321 --> 00:28:11,489
SO THAT THEY CAN HAVE A BOY.
623
00:28:11,523 --> 00:28:13,324
LOOK, LOOK, OH, MY GOD. PLEASE BE CAREFUL.
624
00:28:13,358 --> 00:28:15,093
HEY, MY CELL PHONE'S NOT WORKING RIGHT NOW.
625
00:28:15,126 --> 00:28:17,529
CAN YOU TAKE A LOOK AT IT AND SEE WHAT'S WRONG WITH IT?
626
00:28:17,562 --> 00:28:19,297
NO!
627
00:28:19,330 --> 00:28:21,232
CAN I TAKE THIS TAPE OFF NOW?
628
00:28:21,266 --> 00:28:23,435
DO YOU THINK YOU'RE-- ARE YOU GOING TO OPEN YOUR EYES?
629
00:28:23,468 --> 00:28:24,469
YES.
630
00:28:25,170 --> 00:28:26,538
I THINK THAT'S SUPER UNSAFE.
631
00:28:26,571 --> 00:28:29,207
I FEEL LIKE IT'S NOT REALLY HELPING THAT MUCH, BUT--
632
00:28:30,341 --> 00:28:32,110
OHH! THAT HURT?
633
00:28:32,143 --> 00:28:33,378
WHEN YOU CAME TO THIS COUNTRY, LIKE--
634
00:28:33,411 --> 00:28:36,047
I WAS BORN IN THIS COUNTRY, OK? FUCK YOU.
635
00:28:36,081 --> 00:28:39,184
OH, OK. BY THAT, SO WHEN DO YOU--
636
00:28:39,217 --> 00:28:40,218
SO WHO ORDERED YOU?
637
00:28:41,119 --> 00:28:41,820
IS THERE SOME SORT OF CRATE SITUATION?
638
00:28:41,853 --> 00:28:42,687
NO, THERE'S NO CRATE SITUATION!
639
00:28:42,720 --> 00:28:44,389
I'M MORE AMERICAN THAN YOU ARE, JEW.
640
00:28:44,422 --> 00:28:46,357
FIRST OF ALL, THAT'S UNCALLED FOR.
641
00:28:46,391 --> 00:28:48,793
YOU'RE UNCALLED FOR.
642
00:28:48,827 --> 00:28:49,961
OH, THAT'S A DOG. THERE'S A DOG RIGHT UP THERE.
643
00:28:49,994 --> 00:28:51,996
YOU WANT TO PULL OVER AND GET IT? YOU WANT TO GRAB IT?
644
00:28:52,030 --> 00:28:54,332
WE'LL FRY IT UP FOR LATER, DUDE. WE'LL FRY IT UP FOR LATER.
645
00:28:54,365 --> 00:28:56,501
DUDE, THAT'S A GIANT ONE. THAT'S A GERMAN SHEPHERD, BRO.
646
00:28:56,534 --> 00:28:58,403
PULL OVER, WE'LL JUST GET THIS.
647
00:28:58,436 --> 00:28:59,370
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
648
00:28:59,404 --> 00:29:02,006
FUCK IT! IT'S GONE NOW.
649
00:29:02,040 --> 00:29:03,007
THIS IS FUCKING RIDICULOUS.
650
00:29:03,041 --> 00:29:04,476
I CAN'T BELIEVE I PAID MONEY FOR THIS CLASS.
651
00:29:04,509 --> 00:29:06,177
LISTEN, LISTEN, I DON'T--
652
00:29:06,211 --> 00:29:07,312
SOME UGLY ASS OLD WHITE GUY.
653
00:29:07,345 --> 00:29:09,447
I DON'T--I WANT THIS TO END WELL, OK?
654
00:29:09,481 --> 00:29:12,283
I WANT EVERYONE TO BE HAPPY. I WANT IT TO END HAPPY.
655
00:29:12,317 --> 00:29:14,018
- I JUST WANT A HAPPY ENDING. - SHUT THE FUCK UP.
656
00:29:14,052 --> 00:29:16,154
AND IF I CAN JUST GET THAT HAPPY ENDING,
657
00:29:16,187 --> 00:29:17,522
- THAT WOULD BE-- - WHAT HAPPY ENDING?
658
00:29:17,555 --> 00:29:19,357
- $20 WORTH-- - ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?!
659
00:29:19,390 --> 00:29:22,460
OH, MONEY! NO! OH, MY GOD!
660
00:29:22,494 --> 00:29:24,395
I'M SORRY.
661
00:29:24,429 --> 00:29:26,464
I'VE BEEN A LITTLE HARD ON YOU.
662
00:29:26,498 --> 00:29:28,433
AND I SO SORRY. I SO, SO SORRY.
663
00:29:28,466 --> 00:29:31,336
REALLY? REALLY?
664
00:29:31,369 --> 00:29:33,438
[LAUGHS]
665
00:29:33,471 --> 00:29:36,374
YOU PROBABLY DON'T EVEN HAVE A DICK.
666
00:29:36,407 --> 00:29:38,476
DO YOU WATCH CHILD PORNOGRAPHY?
667
00:29:38,510 --> 00:29:41,513
YOU LOOK LIKE A PERVERT. YOU LOOK LIKE A FUCKING PERVERT.
668
00:29:41,546 --> 00:29:44,582
YOU ARE GETTING ME SO HORNY RIGHT NOW.
669
00:29:44,616 --> 00:29:46,217
OH, MY GOD.
670
00:29:46,484 --> 00:29:49,087
I THOUGHT YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE MY TEACHER.
671
00:29:49,120 --> 00:29:51,189
I CAN BARELY SEE YOU. IS THIS WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE YOU?
672
00:29:51,222 --> 00:29:53,424
HOW DO YOU GET THROUGH LIFE LIKE THIS, MAN?
673
00:29:53,458 --> 00:29:55,360
THIS IS CRAZY. I SO SORRY.
674
00:29:55,393 --> 00:29:56,327
I SO SORRY.
675
00:29:57,328 --> 00:29:58,396
HOW DOES THIS HELP ME DRIVE? I SO SORRY.
676
00:29:58,429 --> 00:30:00,331
JUST CALM DOWN, IT'S--
677
00:30:00,365 --> 00:30:02,433
OK, LISTEN, THIS IS GOING TO SEEM WEIRD,
678
00:30:02,467 --> 00:30:04,369
BUT I JUST WANT TO KNOW.
679
00:30:04,402 --> 00:30:06,437
IS YOUR PUSSY LIKE SLANTED, OR--
680
00:30:06,471 --> 00:30:10,508
OWW! SHUT THE FUCK UP!
681
00:30:11,509 --> 00:30:13,444
JUST--NO HITTING!
682
00:30:13,478 --> 00:30:16,281
AND IF YOU'RE GOING TO HIT, USE PROPER FORM.
683
00:30:16,314 --> 00:30:20,118
IT'S A KARATE CHOP, AND YOU SAY HYAH.
684
00:30:24,088 --> 00:30:27,125
YOU DIDN'T SAY HYAH. OWW!
685
00:30:27,158 --> 00:30:30,528
WHAT KIND OF KARATE DO YOU KNOW?
686
00:30:30,562 --> 00:30:32,363
UM...
687
00:30:32,397 --> 00:30:33,398
WHAT HAPPENS IF I WOULD STRIKE YOU? WHAT WOULD HAPPEN?
688
00:30:33,431 --> 00:30:35,533
I'M NOT GOING TO. HYAH!
689
00:30:35,567 --> 00:30:38,236
[LAUGHS] KARATE!
690
00:30:38,269 --> 00:30:39,204
ARE YOU SURE THIS IS--
691
00:30:39,237 --> 00:30:40,438
ALL RIGHT, HONG KONG FOOEY,
692
00:30:40,471 --> 00:30:41,439
JUST PLEASE BE CAREFUL.
693
00:30:41,472 --> 00:30:43,241
YOU'RE GOING TO FAIL. YOU'RE GOING TO FAIL.
694
00:30:43,274 --> 00:30:45,476
'CAUSE I'M GOING TO SUE YOUR FUCKING ASS.
695
00:30:45,510 --> 00:30:47,245
YOU'RE NOT GOING TO SUE ME. YES, I AM.
696
00:30:47,278 --> 00:30:48,546
NO, YOU'RE NOT. YES, I AM.
697
00:30:48,580 --> 00:30:49,514
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO SUE ME FOR?
698
00:30:49,547 --> 00:30:50,582
I'M GOING TO SUE YOU FOR SEXUAL HARASSMENT.
699
00:30:50,615 --> 00:30:53,184
OH, IT WASN'T HARASSMENT IF YOU WERE ASKING FOR IT.
700
00:30:53,218 --> 00:30:54,519
I WAS NOT ASKING FOR IT! YOU'RE FUCKING CRAZY!
701
00:30:54,552 --> 00:30:56,387
OH, YEAH, SITTING THERE LOOKING ALL ASIAN
702
00:30:56,421 --> 00:30:57,755
AND OF COURSE I'M NOT GOING TO WANT TO FUCK?
703
00:30:57,789 --> 00:31:00,258
FUCKING ASSHOLE! JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN'T GET ANYTHING? OH, MY GOD!
704
00:31:00,291 --> 00:31:01,559
OF COURSE I'M GOING TO WANT TO FUCK.
705
00:31:01,593 --> 00:31:04,128
CAREFUL, CAREFUL, CAREFUL, CAREFUL!
706
00:31:04,162 --> 00:31:06,164
SORRY, ASIAN DRIVER, ASIAN DRIVER.
707
00:31:06,197 --> 00:31:09,400
THEY'RE REALLY TERRIBLE AT DRIVING. AND LOVEMAKING.
708
00:31:09,434 --> 00:31:11,269
DUDE, WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM, MAN?
709
00:31:11,302 --> 00:31:12,437
SORRY. I'M SORRY TO GET ON YOU.
710
00:31:12,470 --> 00:31:14,639
BUT IT'S IMPORTANT THAT YOU LEARN HOW TO DRIVE SAFELY.
711
00:31:14,672 --> 00:31:16,307
IT'S THE ONLY REASON I'M HARD ON YOU.
712
00:31:16,341 --> 00:31:18,142
BECAUSE YOU NEED TO LEARN HOW TO DELIVER FOOD ON TIME,
713
00:31:18,176 --> 00:31:20,545
OTHERWISE PEOPLE LIKE ME ARE ANGRY
714
00:31:20,578 --> 00:31:22,447
THAT IT'S PAST 40 MINUTES.
715
00:31:22,480 --> 00:31:26,150
DUDE, THAT'S NOT EVEN CHINESE FOOD, THAT'S DOMINO'S.
716
00:31:26,184 --> 00:31:26,985
SO FUCKING RIDICULOUS!
717
00:31:27,018 --> 00:31:28,052
ALL RIGHT, THEN $40! WOULD $40 DO IT?
718
00:31:28,086 --> 00:31:29,520
$20, $40, WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK I AM?!
719
00:31:29,554 --> 00:31:32,223
FIRST OF ALL, YOU ALREADY BROKE THAT 10. YOU'RE EATING HALF OF THAT.
720
00:31:32,257 --> 00:31:34,025
THAT--OH, MY GOD, YOU ARE THE CHEAPESI FUCKING--
721
00:31:34,058 --> 00:31:36,527
I'M NOT CHEAP, I'M NOT GOING TO WASTE MONEY GETTING A HAND JOB
722
00:31:36,561 --> 00:31:38,529
WHEN I CAN GO TO SOME OTHER PLACE AND GET ONE FOR CHEAPER!
723
00:31:38,563 --> 00:31:42,533
OH, MY GOD. YOU COULDN'T GET A HAND JOB IF SOMEONE FUCKING PAID YOU.
724
00:31:42,567 --> 00:31:44,535
YOUR OWN HAND DOESN'T EVEN WANT TO GIVE YOU
725
00:31:44,569 --> 00:31:45,970
A FUCKING HAND JOB, YOU CREEP.
726
00:31:47,305 --> 00:31:48,172
I'M DONE WITH THIS. I'M THROUGH WITH THIS. YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE!
727
00:31:48,206 --> 00:31:51,542
WATCH OUT! SOMEBODY'S GOING TO HIT YOU!
728
00:31:51,576 --> 00:31:54,178
FUCK YOU!
729
00:31:54,379 --> 00:31:56,614
OK, I CUT OFF FOR CUTTING PEOPLE OFF,
730
00:31:56,648 --> 00:31:59,584
DIDN'T LOOK BEFORE TURNING,
731
00:31:59,617 --> 00:32:01,152
BEING A FILTHY ASIAN,
732
00:32:01,185 --> 00:32:04,555
CANNOT PRONOUNCE HIS Ls, THAT'S MINUS 7.
733
00:32:04,589 --> 00:32:06,457
41%. HEY, ASSHOLE,
734
00:32:06,491 --> 00:32:07,458
ONE MORE THING-- FUCK YOU.
735
00:32:07,492 --> 00:32:09,327
YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT, YOU BETTER BE SCARED.
736
00:32:09,360 --> 00:32:12,563
I'LL FUCKING KARATE PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE. ASSHOLE.
737
00:32:12,597 --> 00:32:13,498
OH, MY.
738
00:32:13,531 --> 00:32:16,334
THAT'S GOING TO BE A 41, FOR THE ATTITUDE,
739
00:32:16,367 --> 00:32:19,203
I'M TAKING IT DOWN TO A 38%.
740
00:32:19,237 --> 00:32:21,472
38%.
741
00:32:21,506 --> 00:32:22,373
FUCK THIS. FUCK THIS.
742
00:32:22,407 --> 00:32:23,508
DON'T PULL OVER! WE'RE IN THE--WE'RE--
743
00:32:23,541 --> 00:32:26,244
WE'RE DRIVING NOW. YOU ARE SO FUCKING RIDICULOUS.
744
00:32:26,277 --> 00:32:28,479
SO IS IT--IS IT HORIZONTAL--
745
00:32:28,513 --> 00:32:30,448
OW, FUCK! OW! FUCK!
746
00:32:30,481 --> 00:32:32,617
ASIANS FIGHTING BACK! PLEASE! OW! OW!
747
00:32:32,650 --> 00:32:35,586
GET OUT OF THE FUCKING CAR! GET BACK TO YOUR COUNTRY.
748
00:32:35,620 --> 00:32:38,489
FUCK YOU!
749
00:32:38,523 --> 00:32:43,127
OH...MY...GOD.
750
00:32:58,276 --> 00:33:01,379
WELL, THEY LOVE THEIR JOB. THEY'RE GREAT SITTERS.
751
00:33:01,412 --> 00:33:02,547
I KNOW. [CHUCKLES]
752
00:33:02,580 --> 00:33:05,616
ALL RIGHT, SIR, YOU, TOO. ALL RIGHT, BYE.
753
00:33:05,650 --> 00:33:07,819
HI. HOW CAN I HELP YOU?
754
00:33:07,852 --> 00:33:09,053
HI, I'M JUST LOOKING.
755
00:33:10,288 --> 00:33:12,123
WELL, WELCOME. WE ARE NEW IN TOWN. NEW TO BEVERLY HILLS.
756
00:33:12,156 --> 00:33:15,193
AND WE OBVIOUSLY OFFER EVERYTHING BABY-RELATED.
757
00:33:15,226 --> 00:33:18,529
STUFFED ANIMALS, BLOCKS, GOOBERY GADGETS.
758
00:33:18,563 --> 00:33:19,831
WE'VE GOT 'EM FOR YOUR LITTLE GOOBERS.
759
00:33:19,864 --> 00:33:23,601
OH, YES, WE NEED MORE STUFF IN OUR HOUSE, THAT'S FOR SURE.
760
00:33:23,634 --> 00:33:27,538
WELL, ANYTHING YOU SEE-- CRIBS, TOYS, CRAYONS,
761
00:33:27,572 --> 00:33:28,606
AND WE ALSO HAVE BABYSITTERS.
762
00:33:28,639 --> 00:33:30,608
OH, YOU DO? YEAH.
763
00:33:30,641 --> 00:33:32,543
OH, THAT'S A GOOD THING TO KNOW.
764
00:33:32,577 --> 00:33:34,278
DO YOU HAVE A CARD OR SOMETHING?
765
00:33:34,312 --> 00:33:35,680
I'M-- WELL, EVEN BETTER...
766
00:33:35,713 --> 00:33:37,048
ALWAYS LOOKING FOR BABYSITTERS.
767
00:33:37,081 --> 00:33:39,650
IF YOU HAVE TIME, YOU CAN ACTUALLY MEET THE SITTERS RIGHT NOW.
768
00:33:39,684 --> 00:33:41,819
REALLY? YEAH.
769
00:33:41,853 --> 00:33:42,820
UH, OK.
770
00:33:42,854 --> 00:33:44,589
FANTASTIC, GREAT. REALLY?
771
00:33:44,622 --> 00:33:45,590
COME ON WITH ME. YEAH.
772
00:33:45,623 --> 00:33:46,457
ALL RIGHT.
773
00:33:46,491 --> 00:33:47,658
WHAT'S THE LITTLE GUY'S NAME? LUKE.
774
00:33:47,692 --> 00:33:50,561
ALL RIGHT. COME ON, LUKE, LET'S MEET YOUR NEW BABYSITTERS.
775
00:33:50,595 --> 00:33:53,097
YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE THEM. COME ON.
776
00:33:53,131 --> 00:33:54,565
HE'S JUST SO SWEET.
777
00:33:54,599 --> 00:33:55,633
OH, THANK YOU.
778
00:33:55,666 --> 00:33:57,568
RIGHT THIS WAY. THANK YOU.
779
00:33:57,602 --> 00:33:58,870
LUKE, YOUR NEW SITTERS.
780
00:33:58,903 --> 00:34:01,272
I'LL LET YOU GUYS GET ACQUAINTED.
781
00:34:01,305 --> 00:34:04,308
[DOOR CLOSES]
782
00:34:04,342 --> 00:34:06,244
HEY, BITCH. HEY, MIKE.
783
00:34:06,277 --> 00:34:07,412
HEY, I'M TELLING YOU, NO BULLSHIT.
784
00:34:07,445 --> 00:34:10,148
MY COUSIN RAY AIN'T GIVING ME THIS... [INDISTINCT]
785
00:34:10,181 --> 00:34:11,382
FUCK THAT.
786
00:34:11,416 --> 00:34:13,618
HOLD ON, HOLD ON, NIGGA. HOLD ON.
787
00:34:13,651 --> 00:34:16,454
GET IT.
788
00:34:20,191 --> 00:34:21,492
WHAT THE FUCK, ARE YOU GOING TO FUCKING SAY SOMETHING
789
00:34:21,526 --> 00:34:23,628
OR SHIT, WHAT THE FUCK, ARE YOU JUST GOING TO WALK UP IN HERE--
790
00:34:23,661 --> 00:34:27,131
NO, I JUST WAS TAKEN BY SURPRISE, I'M SORRY.
791
00:34:27,165 --> 00:34:30,635
WHO ARE YOU GUYS? SHE WAS--I'M...
792
00:34:33,638 --> 00:34:34,705
WHAT? WHAT THE FUCK?
793
00:34:35,840 --> 00:34:37,408
FINISH YOUR GODDAMN SENTENCE, BITCH, WHAT THE FUCK?
794
00:34:37,442 --> 00:34:38,643
UH, NO, I JUST-- I'M LOOKING FOR BABYSITTERS.
795
00:34:38,676 --> 00:34:41,679
MY BAD. I'M SUPPOSED TO BE NICE.
796
00:34:41,712 --> 00:34:43,614
WE ARE THE BABYSITTERS.
797
00:34:43,648 --> 00:34:44,682
YOU'RE THE BABYSITTERS?
798
00:34:44,715 --> 00:34:46,217
WE'RE THE BABYSITTERS.
799
00:34:46,250 --> 00:34:47,852
WHAT'S GOING ON HERE, SERIOUSLY?
800
00:34:47,885 --> 00:34:48,686
WE THE BABYSITTERS.
801
00:34:48,719 --> 00:34:50,555
YOU'RE-- YOU CAN'T BE BABYSITTERS.
802
00:34:50,588 --> 00:34:51,823
WE'RE THE FUCKING BABYSITTERS.
803
00:34:51,856 --> 00:34:54,192
THE NIGGAS HAVE FUCKING SAID IT LIKE 20 FUCKING TIMES, DAMN!
804
00:34:54,225 --> 00:34:55,626
OK, OK, OK, ALL RIGHT. IS THAT YOUR BABY?
805
00:34:55,660 --> 00:34:56,627
YES.
806
00:34:56,661 --> 00:34:58,162
HOW OLD IS IT?
807
00:34:58,196 --> 00:34:59,664
HE'S 7 MONTHS.
808
00:34:59,697 --> 00:35:01,399
WE GRAND HANDSHAKE--
809
00:35:01,432 --> 00:35:03,234
I'M SORRY, WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?
810
00:35:03,267 --> 00:35:04,936
THIS IS REALLY ODD. HEY! HEY, BOY.
811
00:35:04,969 --> 00:35:07,371
HEY, I GOT YOUR GIRL RIGHT HERE.
812
00:35:07,405 --> 00:35:09,173
YOU KNOW WHAT, WHAT WE NEED TO DO,
813
00:35:09,207 --> 00:35:10,875
LIKE, WE NEED TO FIND OUT LIKE A SCHEDULE.
814
00:35:10,908 --> 00:35:11,776
WE CAN WRITE DOWN THE SCHEDULE.
815
00:35:11,809 --> 00:35:12,877
WE GOT A CRAYON IN THIS BITCH SOMEWHERE.
816
00:35:12,910 --> 00:35:14,946
SO WHEN DO YOU NEED OUR SERVICES? BECAUSE, UM--
817
00:35:14,979 --> 00:35:17,248
THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING, WE CAN WRITE DOWN A SCHEDULE.
818
00:35:17,281 --> 00:35:18,649
THE SOONER, THE BETTER I GET PAID,
819
00:35:18,683 --> 00:35:20,184
THE SOONER I CAN PAY THE BILLS.
820
00:35:20,218 --> 00:35:21,219
'CAUSE I GOT PEOPLE TO PAY.
821
00:35:22,420 --> 00:35:24,889
NO, I'M SURE THAT YOU DO. NO, WE ALL HAVE BILLS TO PAY.
822
00:35:24,922 --> 00:35:25,890
OH, YEAH. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT--
823
00:35:25,923 --> 00:35:27,191
WHY ARE YOU BEING LIKE THIS?
824
00:35:27,225 --> 00:35:28,659
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT, MY HUSBAND AND I--
825
00:35:28,693 --> 00:35:30,661
IS IT 'CAUSE WE BLACK?
826
00:35:30,695 --> 00:35:31,662
I'M SORRY, I DIDN'T--
827
00:35:31,696 --> 00:35:33,664
I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT YOU BEING BLACK.
828
00:35:33,698 --> 00:35:36,934
FIRST OF ALL, MY BEST FRIEND'S HUSBAND IS LIKE A QUARTER BLACK.
829
00:35:36,968 --> 00:35:39,937
OH, SHIT, OH, SHIT. IT'S ABOUT TO GO DOWN.
830
00:35:39,971 --> 00:35:41,639
OH, FOR REAL?
831
00:35:41,672 --> 00:35:43,441
MOTHERFUCKER.
832
00:35:43,474 --> 00:35:44,942
YOUR NEXT BABY CAN BE HALF BLACK, THOUGH.
833
00:35:44,976 --> 00:35:46,577
NO, YOU KNOW WHAT, THIS NOT FUNNY AT ALL, YOU GUYS.
834
00:35:46,611 --> 00:35:48,679
I'M NOT LAUGHING ANYMORE.
835
00:35:48,713 --> 00:35:49,480
[ALL TALKING AT ONCE]
836
00:35:49,514 --> 00:35:51,649
HONESTLY, THIS IS-- WE'RE ALL SET.
837
00:35:51,682 --> 00:35:53,451
I THINK SOMETHING'S GOING ON HERE.
838
00:35:53,484 --> 00:35:54,619
WE'RE ALL SET IN HERE! THANK YOU.
839
00:35:54,652 --> 00:35:55,920
I THINK SOMETHING'S GOING ON HERE.
840
00:35:55,953 --> 00:35:56,921
NOTHING'S GOING ON.
841
00:35:57,989 --> 00:35:58,489
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, NOTHING AIN'T GOING ON HERE?
842
00:35:58,523 --> 00:35:59,557
NOTHING'S GOING ON!
843
00:35:59,590 --> 00:36:02,360
WE WANT TO BABY-SIT THE BABY. - WE'RE GOOD.
844
00:36:02,393 --> 00:36:03,961
YOU THINK YOU'RE TOO GOOD FOR US.
845
00:36:03,995 --> 00:36:05,029
YOU KNOW WHAT, DO YOU HAVE A CARD?
846
00:36:05,062 --> 00:36:07,565
'CAUSE I CAN TAKE YOUR CARD. YEAH, WE GOT A CARD.
847
00:36:07,598 --> 00:36:09,600
LOOK ON THE FUCKING WALL. FUCK THE POLICE.
848
00:36:09,634 --> 00:36:11,235
THAT'S THE MOTHERFUCKING CARD, BITCH!
849
00:36:11,269 --> 00:36:13,905
HOW MUCH MONEY ARE YOU GOING TO GIVE US FOR THIS?
850
00:36:13,938 --> 00:36:14,939
I GOT TO GETS PAID.
851
00:36:15,907 --> 00:36:16,974
I GOT A WELFARE CHECK DIDN'T COME THROUGH!
852
00:36:17,008 --> 00:36:18,976
THEY COME CROP MY WATER.
853
00:36:19,010 --> 00:36:21,979
♪ ALL YOU GOT TO DO IS GIVE ME SOME OF THAT MONEY ♪
854
00:36:22,013 --> 00:36:24,515
♪ TAKE ME OUT, ABOUT TO GET YOUR RING ♪
855
00:36:24,549 --> 00:36:25,983
♪ ABOUT THE BABY, SIT YOUR BABY ♪
856
00:36:26,017 --> 00:36:27,084
♪ DO THE DAMN THING
857
00:36:27,118 --> 00:36:29,687
♪ WITH THE MALT LIQUOR IN MY HAND, I'M THE MAN ♪
858
00:36:29,720 --> 00:36:30,988
OH, MY GOD!
859
00:36:31,022 --> 00:36:33,958
I THINK LUKE'S ALL SET.
860
00:36:33,991 --> 00:36:36,694
HEY, YOU GUYS. AWW.
861
00:36:36,727 --> 00:36:39,964
WE'VE GOT A CLIENT. YOU GUYS NAILED IT.
862
00:36:39,997 --> 00:36:41,966
SHE GOING TO CALL US. WE GOT THAT.
863
00:36:41,999 --> 00:36:44,969
WE GOT A CLIENT! I THINK WE GOT A CLIENT.
864
00:36:45,002 --> 00:36:47,038
I THINK WE GOT A CLIENT.
865
00:36:47,071 --> 00:36:49,407
[HUMMING]
866
00:36:49,440 --> 00:36:51,676
ALL RIGHT, LET'S MOVE FORWARD NOW.
867
00:36:51,709 --> 00:36:54,712
THE NEXT ONE'S SUPPOSED TO BE A CLASSIC, ACCORDING TO BOB.
868
00:36:54,745 --> 00:36:56,013
WHAT'S THE NAME OF THIS ONE?
869
00:36:56,047 --> 00:36:59,984
"SPERM LAKE." "SPERM LAKE."
870
00:37:04,956 --> 00:37:07,592
[DUCKS QUACKING]
871
00:37:07,625 --> 00:37:10,595
["SWAN LAKE" PLAYING]
872
00:37:16,534 --> 00:37:18,603
OH, NO, IT'S A BUNCH OF DUDES.
873
00:37:18,636 --> 00:37:21,906
OH, NO, NOT EVEN ONE LOOKS LIKE A WOMAN.
874
00:37:21,939 --> 00:37:24,942
[SQUAWKING]
875
00:37:31,949 --> 00:37:36,354
THIS IS THE KIND OF BULLSHIT THAT MADE ME STOP GOING TO THE SAUNA AT THE GYM.
876
00:37:36,387 --> 00:37:39,890
[SQUAWKING]
877
00:37:53,037 --> 00:37:55,006
["SWAN LAKE" ENDS]
878
00:37:55,039 --> 00:37:58,442
♪ I SEE YOU STANDING THERE ♪
879
00:37:58,476 --> 00:38:00,511
♪ THERE ON THE WALL
880
00:38:00,544 --> 00:38:05,483
♪ I WANT TO KNOW IF YOU'RE ALONE ♪
881
00:38:05,516 --> 00:38:08,886
[SQUAWKING]
882
00:38:08,919 --> 00:38:11,455
[SONG CONTINUES]
883
00:38:12,089 --> 00:38:13,057
[MOANING]
884
00:38:14,125 --> 00:38:15,993
♪ GOT ME, GOT ME, GOT ME BUMPING IN THIS CLUB ♪
885
00:38:16,027 --> 00:38:19,697
[TURNS OFF SONG, "SWAN LAKE" PLAYING]
886
00:38:27,738 --> 00:38:32,109
[GRUNTING]
887
00:38:34,078 --> 00:38:38,482
[SQUAWKING]
888
00:38:57,068 --> 00:38:59,070
OHHH.
889
00:39:03,174 --> 00:39:05,576
[SQUAWKING]
890
00:39:10,081 --> 00:39:11,716
WOW.
891
00:39:11,749 --> 00:39:12,650
THIS MAY BE THE ONLY SHOW ON THE INTERNET
892
00:39:12,683 --> 00:39:15,186
TO ACTUALLY GET GUYS TO STOP JERKING OFF.
893
00:39:15,219 --> 00:39:16,420
DUDE, RELAX.
894
00:39:17,488 --> 00:39:19,557
THE ONLY WAY I COULD SHOOT MY LOAD WATCHING THIS
895
00:39:19,590 --> 00:39:21,659
WILL BE TRYING TO HIT THE EJECT BUTTON ON THE DVD PLAYER.
896
00:39:21,692 --> 00:39:25,463
OK. I THINK WE NEED TO GET THE BUCKET RATING.
897
00:39:25,496 --> 00:39:28,466
OK, LET'S GO TO THE BUCKET. BOB, WHAT DO YOU GOT?
898
00:39:28,499 --> 00:39:30,167
9.2.
899
00:39:30,201 --> 00:39:31,335
9.2? THAT'S A LOT.
900
00:39:31,368 --> 00:39:34,205
THERE MUST BE SOME BLOOD MIXED IN THERE WITH THAT.
901
00:39:34,238 --> 00:39:36,073
OHH...WOW.
902
00:39:36,107 --> 00:39:36,974
THAT CAN'T BE GOOD.
903
00:39:37,007 --> 00:39:40,144
AND THE STICKY BUCKET AWARD GOES TO...
904
00:39:40,177 --> 00:39:42,146
"SPERM LAKE," WITH A 9.2.
905
00:39:42,179 --> 00:39:45,116
WELL, THIS HAS BEEN THIS WEEK'S PODCAST
906
00:39:45,149 --> 00:39:47,051
OF "THE PORNO REVIEW." I'M JD.
907
00:39:47,084 --> 00:39:49,453
AND I'M HARRIET. BOB.
908
00:39:49,487 --> 00:39:52,223
WE SHOULD TAKE BOB OUTSIDE AND HIT HIM WITH A STICK.
909
00:39:52,256 --> 00:39:54,458
I THINK WE SHOULD PUT HIM DOWN.
910
00:39:54,492 --> 00:39:56,694
YEAH.
911
00:39:56,727 --> 00:40:00,698
WE SHOULD GET RID OF BOB.
912
00:40:07,605 --> 00:40:10,975
"FLIRTY HARRY," A LONE HERO,
913
00:40:11,008 --> 00:40:15,212
WITH THE WIND OF A CITY ON HIS SHOULDERS.
914
00:40:15,246 --> 00:40:19,550
EVERY NIGHT IT JUST GETS HARDER...
915
00:40:19,583 --> 00:40:22,086
AND LONGER...
916
00:40:22,119 --> 00:40:23,954
AND HARDER...
917
00:40:23,988 --> 00:40:29,026
KNOWING THAT THESE YOUNG MEN THAT I HANDCUFF AND PUNISH
918
00:40:29,059 --> 00:40:32,163
CAN ACTUALLY WALK THE NEXT DAY.
919
00:40:32,196 --> 00:40:33,030
OH, YES, YES, HARRY.
920
00:40:33,063 --> 00:40:36,100
ONCE I FINISH NAIL, HARRY, HE BE OK.
921
00:40:36,133 --> 00:40:37,134
YOU LIKE SEMI-GLOSS?
922
00:40:38,102 --> 00:40:39,937
ACTUALLY, I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THE SEMI. I...
923
00:40:39,970 --> 00:40:41,238
I LIKE A NICE HARD FINISH.
924
00:40:41,272 --> 00:40:43,174
SOMETHING ABOUT HOW SMOOTH IT FEELS
925
00:40:43,207 --> 00:40:45,543
WHEN I SQUEEZE EACH LOAD DOWN THAT BARREL.
926
00:40:45,576 --> 00:40:50,181
YEAH, LIKE POP, POP, POP IN THE SKY. BRIGHT LIGHT, WOW!
927
00:40:50,214 --> 00:40:51,982
IT DOESN'T REALLY GO IN THE SKY.
928
00:40:52,016 --> 00:40:53,217
IT SHOOTS KIND OF FORWARD.
929
00:40:53,250 --> 00:40:55,186
OOH!
930
00:40:55,219 --> 00:40:58,122
FUNNY, HARRY, VERY FUNNY.
931
00:40:58,155 --> 00:41:00,157
YOU WANT BLOW JOB?
932
00:41:00,191 --> 00:41:01,192
THAT'S ALL RIGHT.
933
00:41:01,225 --> 00:41:02,293
OH, I GIVE HIM BLOW JOB.
934
00:41:02,326 --> 00:41:04,228
NO, I GIVE HIM BLOW JOB. THAT'S OK.
935
00:41:04,261 --> 00:41:05,262
I GIVE HIM BLOW JOB. I GIVE HIM BLOW JOB.
936
00:41:05,296 --> 00:41:08,265
Both: I GIVE HIM BLOW JOB! I GIVE HIM BLOW JOB!
937
00:41:08,299 --> 00:41:10,501
JUST A LITTLE.
938
00:41:12,236 --> 00:41:16,040
THAT'S OK. I CAN BLOW MYSELF.
939
00:41:20,277 --> 00:41:23,180
I'LL GET YOUR BOTTLE FOR YOU. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
940
00:41:23,214 --> 00:41:27,218
WHEN CRIME RUNS RAMPANT...
941
00:41:27,251 --> 00:41:30,120
[CRYING]
942
00:41:30,154 --> 00:41:33,190
FLIRTY HARRY IS THERE.
943
00:41:36,193 --> 00:41:38,062
FREEZE, ASSHOLE.
944
00:41:38,095 --> 00:41:40,197
DON'T MOVE A MUSCLE.
945
00:41:41,298 --> 00:41:43,200
DROP IT.
946
00:41:48,272 --> 00:41:51,075
THIS COULD BE NASTY.
947
00:41:56,280 --> 00:41:57,348
OW! DAMN!
948
00:41:57,381 --> 00:41:58,282
GOTCHA.
949
00:41:58,315 --> 00:42:00,284
GODDAMN, MOTHERFUCKER!
950
00:42:00,317 --> 00:42:02,186
FLIRTY HARRY...
951
00:42:02,219 --> 00:42:03,120
ONE IN THE HOLE.
952
00:42:03,153 --> 00:42:05,356
HE ALWAYS GETS HIS MAN...
953
00:42:05,389 --> 00:42:07,191
I CAN FEEL THE BULLET IN MY MOUTH,
954
00:42:07,224 --> 00:42:08,292
YOU MOTHERFUCKER!
955
00:42:08,325 --> 00:42:09,260
IN THE END.
956
00:42:09,293 --> 00:42:12,563
I'M GONNA KILL YOU, BITCH!
957
00:42:17,334 --> 00:42:22,306
RIGHT... WE SHOULDN'T STAY.
958
00:42:22,339 --> 00:42:23,207
OH, PLEASE.
959
00:42:23,240 --> 00:42:26,243
[LAUGHS]
960
00:42:28,012 --> 00:42:30,114
OOH! IT FEELS GOOD. [LAUGHS]
961
00:42:30,147 --> 00:42:33,117
HOW ARE YOU? HOW YOU DOIN'?
962
00:42:33,150 --> 00:42:34,151
AHH...WOW.
963
00:42:34,184 --> 00:42:35,152
HEY, TOMORROW,
964
00:42:35,185 --> 00:42:38,022
WE SHOULD HURRY AND CHECK OUT.
965
00:42:38,055 --> 00:42:39,223
OK? AND, UH...
966
00:42:39,256 --> 00:42:40,224
I'M SORRY, AM I INTERRUPTING OR...
967
00:42:40,257 --> 00:42:42,159
OH, NO, NO, NO.
968
00:42:42,192 --> 00:42:43,994
OK. GREAT.
969
00:42:44,028 --> 00:42:44,995
OOH.
970
00:42:45,029 --> 00:42:47,298
YOU GUYS VISITING, OR...
971
00:42:47,331 --> 00:42:48,999
WE'RE FROM ST. LOUIS.
972
00:42:49,033 --> 00:42:51,068
OH, THAT'S GREAT. I'M FROM IOWA.
973
00:42:51,101 --> 00:42:53,237
OH, GOOD. YOU HAVING A NICE VACATION?
974
00:42:53,270 --> 00:42:56,140
ACTUALLY, UH, I'M MEETING MY BOYFRIEND.
975
00:42:56,173 --> 00:42:57,741
HE LIVES HERE AND WE MET ONLINE,
976
00:42:57,775 --> 00:42:59,376
AND IT'S KIND OF OUR FIRST WEEKEND
977
00:42:59,410 --> 00:43:01,412
TO ACTUALLY MEET FACE TO FACE. SO...
978
00:43:01,445 --> 00:43:02,646
OH, REALLY?
979
00:43:02,680 --> 00:43:04,315
IT'S BEEN GREAT. [LAUGHS]
980
00:43:04,348 --> 00:43:05,249
COOL. I'M DIANE.
981
00:43:05,282 --> 00:43:07,184
OH, DIANE, I'M CINDI.
982
00:43:07,217 --> 00:43:08,252
I'M JACK.
983
00:43:08,285 --> 00:43:09,019
OH, GREAT. EXCELLENT.
984
00:43:09,053 --> 00:43:10,688
WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING TONIGHT?
985
00:43:10,721 --> 00:43:14,358
WE'LL PROBABLY HIT THE BAR OR GET SOME DRINKS.
986
00:43:14,391 --> 00:43:16,727
WE ARE, TOO. MAYBE WE CAN DO A DOUBLE DATE OR SOMETHING.
987
00:43:16,760 --> 00:43:18,329
I DON'T KNOW. JUST THINK ABOUT IT.
988
00:43:18,362 --> 00:43:21,265
SURE. SURE, WHY NOT? SEE YOU GUYS IN THE BAR, YEAH.
989
00:43:21,298 --> 00:43:23,067
MIGHT BE MR. RIGHT.
990
00:43:23,100 --> 00:43:24,301
SOUNDS LIKE A NICE GUY.
991
00:43:24,335 --> 00:43:26,270
YEAH, HE'S REALLY SWEET.
992
00:43:26,303 --> 00:43:27,304
HEY, MAMA.
993
00:43:27,338 --> 00:43:28,305
HI, BABY!
994
00:43:28,339 --> 00:43:29,273
HOW YOU BE DOIN'?
995
00:43:29,306 --> 00:43:30,407
I'VE BEEN MISSING YOU.
996
00:43:30,441 --> 00:43:33,277
WHERE YOU BEEN? WHERE YOU BEEN? MMM!
997
00:43:33,310 --> 00:43:36,246
MMM! COME HERE!
998
00:43:36,280 --> 00:43:40,184
[MOANING]
999
00:43:41,218 --> 00:43:43,420
UM...
1000
00:43:43,454 --> 00:43:44,421
[INDISTINCT]
1001
00:43:44,455 --> 00:43:46,156
WHAT YOU DOIN' UP IN HERE?
1002
00:43:46,190 --> 00:43:48,158
HEY, THIS IS, UH, DIANE AND JACK.
1003
00:43:48,192 --> 00:43:48,926
WE'RE JUST TALKING.
1004
00:43:48,959 --> 00:43:51,295
WHAT Y'ALL BE UP TO? WHAT'S UP?
1005
00:43:51,328 --> 00:43:52,363
GUYS, THIS IS HIM.
1006
00:43:52,396 --> 00:43:55,165
SO WHAT IT DO? HOW YOU BE?
1007
00:43:55,199 --> 00:43:55,933
HOW YOU DOIN'?
1008
00:43:55,966 --> 00:43:57,167
HOW ARE YOU? HOW YOU BE DOIN'?
1009
00:43:58,235 --> 00:44:00,337
THEY'RE GONNA MAYBE GO FOR DRINKS WITH US TONIGHT.
1010
00:44:00,371 --> 00:44:02,339
OH, YEAH, SOME JAGER BOMBS?
1011
00:44:02,373 --> 00:44:03,741
DOUBLE DATE.
1012
00:44:03,774 --> 00:44:06,310
OH, I DON'T KNOW, YEAH.
1013
00:44:06,343 --> 00:44:09,279
NICE. THAT SOUNDS LIKE THE SHIT.
1014
00:44:09,313 --> 00:44:11,215
CAN I GET A CHOCOLATE MARTINI?
1015
00:44:11,248 --> 00:44:15,185
YEAH, AND I'LL GET A WHITE VANILLA ROCKATINI.
1016
00:44:17,121 --> 00:44:18,322
WE REALLY SHOULD GO.
1017
00:44:18,355 --> 00:44:20,424
SO YOU CAN HAVE...
1018
00:44:20,457 --> 00:44:21,458
BABY...
1019
00:44:21,492 --> 00:44:24,061
YEAH, WHY DON'T WE LEAVE YOU GUYS
1020
00:44:24,094 --> 00:44:25,062
TO HAVE SOME PRIVACY. IT'S COOL.
1021
00:44:25,095 --> 00:44:27,331
OH, COME ON, YOU GUYS, WE'RE JUST HAVING FUN.
1022
00:44:27,364 --> 00:44:28,198
OH, COME ON.
1023
00:44:28,232 --> 00:44:30,968
NO, IT'S FINE. WE HAD A LONG DAY TODAY.
1024
00:44:31,001 --> 00:44:32,336
WE SHOULD PROBABLY GET...
1025
00:44:32,369 --> 00:44:34,972
SIT DOWN. SIT DOWN!
1026
00:44:35,472 --> 00:44:39,343
SO, UM, SO WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING?
1027
00:44:39,376 --> 00:44:41,478
UH, I AM AN INSURANCE SALESMAN.
1028
00:44:41,512 --> 00:44:43,380
BORING. YEAH?
1029
00:44:43,414 --> 00:44:45,082
I NEED SOME INSURANCE.
1030
00:44:45,115 --> 00:44:47,351
I BET YOU DO. I NEED SOME INSURANCE ON MY DICK.
1031
00:44:47,384 --> 00:44:48,952
HEY, SETH.
1032
00:44:48,986 --> 00:44:51,321
YOU LOOK LIKE SETH ROGAN OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
1033
00:44:51,355 --> 00:44:53,290
I HAVE GOT THAT BEFORE.
1034
00:44:53,323 --> 00:44:55,159
YEAH? HE GOT A BIG DICK, I HEARD.
1035
00:44:55,192 --> 00:44:56,360
SOME GIRL I FUCKED LAST WEEK,
1036
00:44:56,393 --> 00:44:57,361
SHE FUCKED HIM TWO WEEKS BEFORE THAT,
1037
00:44:57,394 --> 00:45:00,230
SHE COULDN'T EVEN WALK. SHE WAS LIKE, DUDE...
1038
00:45:00,264 --> 00:45:01,331
SHE COULD NOT EVEN WALK. SHE...
1039
00:45:01,365 --> 00:45:03,133
SHE HAD A WHEELCHAIR.
1040
00:45:03,167 --> 00:45:06,036
BITCH HAD A REMOTE CONTROL WHEELCHAIR.
1041
00:45:06,070 --> 00:45:08,338
LIKE, BITCH SAID HELLO AND DID ME LIKE THAT,
1042
00:45:08,372 --> 00:45:10,374
I'D PUT HER IN A COMA.
1043
00:45:10,407 --> 00:45:12,176
SETH ROGAN PUT HER IN A WHEELCHAIR,
1044
00:45:12,209 --> 00:45:13,077
I PUT THAT BITCH IN A COMA.
1045
00:45:13,110 --> 00:45:15,279
I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
1046
00:45:15,312 --> 00:45:17,314
GIVE ME THAT EAR. GIVE ME THAT EAR.
1047
00:45:17,347 --> 00:45:19,483
Diane: I'M GONNA BE SICK.
1048
00:45:19,516 --> 00:45:21,518
[LAUGHING]
1049
00:45:21,552 --> 00:45:22,419
WHO'S MY BIG BLACK DADDY?
1050
00:45:24,188 --> 00:45:25,355
HEY, SETH. WHY DON'T YOU GO AHEAD, SWITCH WITH MY GIRL,
1051
00:45:25,389 --> 00:45:26,323
LET ME HAVE YOUR GIRL.
1052
00:45:26,356 --> 00:45:29,259
[BOTH TALKING AND LAUGHING]
1053
00:45:29,293 --> 00:45:32,362
I'D ENJOY THAT. I CAN TOTALLY DO IT.
1054
00:45:32,396 --> 00:45:35,566
HEY, JACK, I'VE GOT ROOM IN MY MOUTH.
1055
00:45:35,599 --> 00:45:37,401
DIANE.
1056
00:45:37,434 --> 00:45:38,435
HI.
1057
00:45:39,369 --> 00:45:40,104
YOU HAD YOUR STOMACH PLAYED WITH INSIDE?
1058
00:45:40,137 --> 00:45:41,004
I CAN MAKE YOUR STOMACH GURGLE
1059
00:45:41,038 --> 00:45:43,507
LIKE A MOTHERFUCKIN' ALKA-SELTZER PILL.
1060
00:45:43,540 --> 00:45:46,410
WHEN HE PUT HIS DICK IN ME, I THOUGHT HE POPPED AN ORGAN.
1061
00:45:46,443 --> 00:45:48,278
IT WAS LIKE...AAH! WHAT WAS THAT?!
1062
00:45:48,312 --> 00:45:49,313
OH, MY GOD, HER KIDNEY!
1063
00:45:50,481 --> 00:45:52,449
OH, MY GOD, I FELT HIM POKING ME IN MY FUCKIN' THROAT.
1064
00:45:52,483 --> 00:45:53,417
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
1065
00:45:53,450 --> 00:45:55,285
YOU'RE BEING VERY DISGUSTING.
1066
00:45:55,319 --> 00:45:57,187
OH, PLEASE. WHY ARE YOU BEING LIKE THIS?
1067
00:45:57,221 --> 00:45:59,056
JACK, I KNOW YOU'RE GETTING HARD.
1068
00:45:59,089 --> 00:46:00,324
WE'RE JUST TRYING TO HAVE FUN.
1069
00:46:00,357 --> 00:46:02,426
I KNOW, WE WERE JUST HAVING FUN, TOO. WE'RE JUST RELAXING.
1070
00:46:02,459 --> 00:46:04,328
YOU KNOW WHAT? WE SHOULD JUST LEAVE YOU TO HAVE FUN TOGETHER.
1071
00:46:04,361 --> 00:46:06,029
YEAH, YOU GUYS WILL HAVE MORE FUN IF WE'RE NOT HERE.
1072
00:46:06,063 --> 00:46:08,198
AIN'T NO FUN IF THE HOMEYS CAN'T HAVE NONE.
1073
00:46:08,232 --> 00:46:08,999
COME ON. I'M A HOMEY.
1074
00:46:09,032 --> 00:46:10,067
LET'S SHAKE OUR TITTIES TOGETHER.
1075
00:46:10,100 --> 00:46:12,436
JUST YOU AND ME SHAKIN' AND BOUNCIN' OUR TITTIES.
1076
00:46:12,469 --> 00:46:15,239
JUST BOUNCE IT. JUST BOUNCE IT.
1077
00:46:15,272 --> 00:46:16,273
HAVE A LITTLE FUN.
1078
00:46:17,207 --> 00:46:18,308
LET ME DO IT TO YOU. LET ME DO IT TO YOU.
1079
00:46:18,342 --> 00:46:20,077
HEY, JACK, YOU LIKE ANAL?
1080
00:46:20,110 --> 00:46:22,312
NO. NO.
1081
00:46:22,346 --> 00:46:23,313
WHOA. WHOA.
1082
00:46:23,347 --> 00:46:24,581
YEAH, YEAH. OH, MY GOODNESS.
1083
00:46:24,615 --> 00:46:26,316
I WANT THAT BIG BLACK DICK IN ME.
1084
00:46:26,350 --> 00:46:27,518
YOU FEEL IT? YOU FEEL IT?
1085
00:46:27,551 --> 00:46:29,286
AAH! AAH!
1086
00:46:29,319 --> 00:46:31,455
NO, NO, NO! NO, NO. NO, NO.
1087
00:46:31,488 --> 00:46:33,423
[SHOUTING]
1088
00:46:33,457 --> 00:46:35,459
WE DON'T WANT TO BE IN THIS WHEN YOU GUYS ARE HAVING SEX.
1089
00:46:35,492 --> 00:46:38,162
COME ON, JACK, YOU KNOW YOU WANT A PIECE OF THIS.
1090
00:46:38,195 --> 00:46:39,363
WHY ARE YOU GONNA LEAVE?
1091
00:46:39,396 --> 00:46:40,597
DON'T TOUCH ME!
1092
00:46:40,631 --> 00:46:42,299
[INDISTINCT]
1093
00:46:42,332 --> 00:46:45,502
COME ON, DON'T LEAVE, YOU FUCKIN' PUSSY!
1094
00:46:55,479 --> 00:46:57,614
UH, HELLO, SIR. HOW ARE YOU?
1095
00:46:57,648 --> 00:46:59,483
HMM? OK.
1096
00:46:59,516 --> 00:47:01,351
CAN I, UH, ASK YOU A QUESTION?
1097
00:47:01,385 --> 00:47:02,553
I'M TRYING TO GET A PETITION GOING.
1098
00:47:02,586 --> 00:47:06,456
I'M TRYING TO GET JEWS TO APOLOGIZE FOR KILLING JESUS.
1099
00:47:06,490 --> 00:47:09,459
I'M TRYING TO GET AS MANY SIGNATURES AS I CAN.
1100
00:47:09,493 --> 00:47:10,627
I'M SORRY, WHAT DID YOU SAY?
1101
00:47:10,661 --> 00:47:14,531
I'M TRYING TO GET JEWS, YIDDLE LITTLES,
1102
00:47:14,565 --> 00:47:15,632
UM, HEBREWS,
1103
00:47:15,666 --> 00:47:17,501
TO APOLO--TO--
1104
00:47:17,534 --> 00:47:19,570
YOU KNOW YOU'RE IN A JEWISH MARKET?
1105
00:47:19,603 --> 00:47:21,438
YEAH, I CAME TO FIND THEM. THEY, UH--
1106
00:47:21,471 --> 00:47:25,342
I--I--I'M SORRY, I-- WHAT IS--IS THIS A--
1107
00:47:25,375 --> 00:47:26,410
ARE YOU SORRY? THAT'S GREAT.
1108
00:47:26,443 --> 00:47:28,512
SO IF YOU'LL SIGN THIS AND SAY SORRY ABOUT--
1109
00:47:28,545 --> 00:47:30,380
NO, I--I DID NOT KILL JESUS.
1110
00:47:30,414 --> 00:47:34,451
YEAH, BUT...I MEAN, YOUR PEOPLE DID.
1111
00:47:34,484 --> 00:47:35,385
ARE YOU FOR REAL HERE?
1112
00:47:35,419 --> 00:47:38,388
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN A JEWISH MARKET HERE
1113
00:47:38,422 --> 00:47:40,257
TALKING TO JEWS THIS WAY?
1114
00:47:40,290 --> 00:47:41,525
HOW DO YOU TALK LIKE THAT?
1115
00:47:41,558 --> 00:47:43,560
WHY DO ALL YOU GUYS TALK LIKE SUCH VICTIMS?
1116
00:47:43,594 --> 00:47:46,496
[WHINING] NNN...NNN...
1117
00:47:46,530 --> 00:47:47,531
NN...NNN...
1118
00:47:48,465 --> 00:47:50,033
THAT'S WHAT YOU SOUND LIKE ALL THE TIME.
1119
00:47:50,067 --> 00:47:51,068
ALL THE TIME.
1120
00:47:52,102 --> 00:47:54,538
I'M SORRY, I JUST-- I'M NOT GONNA TALK TO YOU.
1121
00:47:54,571 --> 00:47:55,439
ALL RIGHT, FAIR ENOUGH.
1122
00:47:55,472 --> 00:47:57,140
JEEZ--
1123
00:47:57,174 --> 00:47:58,575
BY THE WAY, WE'RE GIVING AWAY, UH,
1124
00:47:58,609 --> 00:48:00,544
ACROSS THE STREET, 50% OFF RHINOPLASTIES.
1125
00:48:00,577 --> 00:48:03,280
GET OUT OF HERE! A NOSE JOB--
1126
00:48:03,313 --> 00:48:04,281
GET AWAY FROM ME!
1127
00:48:04,314 --> 00:48:05,549
YOU DON'T WANT 50% OFF--
1128
00:48:05,582 --> 00:48:06,450
NO, I DON'T!
1129
00:48:06,483 --> 00:48:07,517
WOW. WOW.
1130
00:48:07,551 --> 00:48:09,386
HI, HOW ARE YOU? HI.
1131
00:48:09,419 --> 00:48:10,454
UH, OH, YEAH.
1132
00:48:10,487 --> 00:48:11,588
GOOD PRICE.
1133
00:48:11,622 --> 00:48:12,623
HEY.
1134
00:48:12,656 --> 00:48:14,091
REMEMBER JESUS
1135
00:48:14,124 --> 00:48:14,892
AND HOW YOU GUYS KILLED HIM?
1136
00:48:14,925 --> 00:48:16,426
WE'RE JUST TRY-- I'M TRYING TO GET,
1137
00:48:16,460 --> 00:48:18,095
UM, SOME PEOPLE TO SIGN THE PETITION
1138
00:48:18,128 --> 00:48:19,129
JUST TO, UH--
1139
00:48:20,063 --> 00:48:20,564
"SORRY FOR KILLING JESUS" PETITION. UH...
1140
00:48:20,597 --> 00:48:21,498
JESUS CHRIST. YEAH.
1141
00:48:21,531 --> 00:48:22,633
IF I COULD JUST GET YOUR JEW NAME HERE.
1142
00:48:22,666 --> 00:48:24,134
ARE YOU SERIOUS?
1143
00:48:24,167 --> 00:48:26,570
TOTALLY.
1144
00:48:26,603 --> 00:48:28,138
WHAT DO...
1145
00:48:28,171 --> 00:48:30,073
HOW DO YOU GUYS GET SUCH CURLY HAIR?
1146
00:48:30,107 --> 00:48:31,575
LIKE, DO YOU PERM THIS? EXCUSE ME.
1147
00:48:31,608 --> 00:48:33,310
EXCUSE ME. STOP.
1148
00:48:33,343 --> 00:48:35,512
PLEASE DON'T TOUCH MY HAIR. OK?
1149
00:48:35,545 --> 00:48:37,447
IT'S REALLY...
1150
00:48:37,481 --> 00:48:38,515
DO--LIKE, WHAT DO YOU DO TO IT?
1151
00:48:38,548 --> 00:48:40,317
WHY DON'T YOU JUST CUT IT?
1152
00:48:40,350 --> 00:48:41,318
OR SMOOTH IT OUT?
1153
00:48:41,351 --> 00:48:42,452
IT DOESN'T WORK.
1154
00:48:42,486 --> 00:48:44,588
DO YOU THINK THAT'S BECAUSE GOD IS PUNISHING YOU?
1155
00:48:44,621 --> 00:48:45,555
MAYBE. MAYBE HE IS.
1156
00:48:45,589 --> 00:48:46,690
MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE YOU HAVEN'T APOLOGIZED--
1157
00:48:46,723 --> 00:48:49,593
EXCUSE ME. FATHER OR MINISTER OR WHATEVER YOU ARE,
1158
00:48:49,626 --> 00:48:53,030
I THINK IT'S REALLY RUDE OF YOU TO COME IN HERE AND...
1159
00:48:53,063 --> 00:48:55,265
OK, I GET YOU DON'T WANT TO SIGN IT. PERHAPS...
1160
00:48:55,299 --> 00:48:56,199
THIS IS RIDICULOUS.
1161
00:48:56,233 --> 00:48:58,168
UH, MR. COPPER ABRAHAM LINCOLN
1162
00:48:58,201 --> 00:48:59,503
WOULD, UH, CHANGE YOUR MIND?
1163
00:48:59,536 --> 00:49:01,538
'CAUSE JEWS LOVE MONEY, RIGHT?
1164
00:49:01,571 --> 00:49:04,341
MM-HMM. MM-HMM.
1165
00:49:04,374 --> 00:49:06,476
VERY TEMPTING. VERY TEMPTING.
1166
00:49:06,510 --> 00:49:07,311
NO, THANK YOU.
1167
00:49:07,344 --> 00:49:09,346
EXCUSE ME. I'M JUST TRYING TO SHOP.
1168
00:49:09,379 --> 00:49:11,581
WOULD YOU WANT TO BE NAILED TO A CROSS?
1169
00:49:11,615 --> 00:49:12,582
YOUR LEGS AND YOUR HANDS--
1170
00:49:12,616 --> 00:49:14,251
NOBODY DOES THAT ANYMORE.
1171
00:49:14,284 --> 00:49:15,118
NO, THEY DON'T.
1172
00:49:15,152 --> 00:49:17,220
SO, JUST APOLOGIZE FOR THE LAST ONE.
1173
00:49:17,254 --> 00:49:19,556
YOU KNOW HE WAS SPECIAL TO US.
1174
00:49:19,589 --> 00:49:21,425
FINE. GO FIND SOMEONE TO BREED WITH.
1175
00:49:21,458 --> 00:49:22,526
ARE YOU SERIOUS? JEEZ.
1176
00:49:22,559 --> 00:49:23,493
HI, HOW ARE YOU?
1177
00:49:23,527 --> 00:49:25,028
I'M OK. HOW ARE YOU? GOOD.
1178
00:49:25,062 --> 00:49:27,497
UH, I'M HERE TODAY-- IT'S GREAT FOOD HERE.
1179
00:49:27,531 --> 00:49:28,966
BUT I'M HERE TODAY TO--
1180
00:49:28,999 --> 00:49:31,068
SORRY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING IN HERE, BUT I NEED YOU TO LEAVE.
1181
00:49:31,101 --> 00:49:33,303
I DON'T WANT YOU BOTHERING MY CUSTOMERS.
1182
00:49:33,337 --> 00:49:34,338
OK. I APOLOGIZE. I'M SORRY.
1183
00:49:34,371 --> 00:49:35,138
YOU--YEAH, THANK YOU.
1184
00:49:35,172 --> 00:49:36,440
DIDN'T--DID SOMEBODY TELL ON ME?
1185
00:49:36,473 --> 00:49:38,575
NO, I SAW YOU FROM BEHIND THE COUNTER.
1186
00:49:38,608 --> 00:49:39,710
YOU'RE BOTHERING--
1187
00:49:39,743 --> 00:49:41,244
WAS THERE A COLLABORATOR THAT CAME OVER TO YOU?
1188
00:49:41,278 --> 00:49:42,245
NO, IT WASN'T A COLLABORATOR.
1189
00:49:42,279 --> 00:49:43,480
IT WAS JUST ME WITH MY OWN EYES,
1190
00:49:43,513 --> 00:49:45,649
SEEING YOU BOTHERING MY CUSTOMERS.
1191
00:49:45,682 --> 00:49:47,150
OK, I WAS JUST-- HONESTLY, I'M JUST TRYING TO GET SOME--
1192
00:49:47,184 --> 00:49:48,251
SOME...
1193
00:49:48,285 --> 00:49:49,152
OK, IF YOU'RE GOING TO SHOP
1194
00:49:49,186 --> 00:49:50,153
AND GET SOME STUFF, YOU'RE MORE THAN--
1195
00:49:50,187 --> 00:49:52,522
THAT'S RIGHT. I APOLOGIZE. IT WAS MY FAULT.
1196
00:49:52,556 --> 00:49:53,523
OK, MORE THAN HAPPY.
1197
00:49:53,557 --> 00:49:54,491
JUST... SORRY.
1198
00:49:55,325 --> 00:49:56,360
DON'T BOTHER CUSTOMERS, OK? OK.
1199
00:49:56,393 --> 00:49:59,029
THANK YOU. THANK YOU.
1200
00:50:01,365 --> 00:50:02,833
WERE YOU THE ONE THAT TOLD?
1201
00:50:02,866 --> 00:50:04,368
YOU'RE RIGHT. I--I--
1202
00:50:04,401 --> 00:50:05,602
TRYING TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE--
1203
00:50:05,635 --> 00:50:09,039
NNN...NNN...
1204
00:50:12,376 --> 00:50:14,678
HEY, LOOK AT THE LITTLE JEW APPLES.
1205
00:50:14,711 --> 00:50:17,547
THEY'RE SO TINY.
1206
00:50:17,581 --> 00:50:19,549
GET LESS FOR YOUR MONEY.
1207
00:50:19,583 --> 00:50:22,552
UM, SO, HEY. IF YOU COULD SIGN OUR PETITION?
1208
00:50:22,586 --> 00:50:23,854
WE'RE JUST TRYING TO GET SOME, UH,
1209
00:50:23,887 --> 00:50:24,554
JEWS TO APOLOGIZE FOR KILLING JESUS.
1210
00:50:24,588 --> 00:50:26,423
JUST TRY TO, UH-- [SCOFFS]
1211
00:50:26,456 --> 00:50:27,624
MAKE THINGS ALL EVEN.
1212
00:50:27,657 --> 00:50:28,425
YEAH. NO, UH, YOU KNOW,
1213
00:50:28,458 --> 00:50:29,826
I DON'T SIGN MY NAME TO ANYTHING
1214
00:50:29,860 --> 00:50:31,661
THAT I HAVEN'T READ COMPLETELY,
1215
00:50:31,695 --> 00:50:34,264
SO, NO--NO, THANK YOU.
1216
00:50:34,297 --> 00:50:35,232
IT SAYS RIGHT HERE, "SORRY FOR KILLING JESUS PETITION."
1217
00:50:35,265 --> 00:50:36,533
AND THEN, HERE'S YOUR JEW NAME,
1218
00:50:36,566 --> 00:50:37,868
AND IF YOU STILL KNOW YOUR JEW NUMBER,
1219
00:50:37,901 --> 00:50:39,236
AND THEN, WHETHER OR NOT YOU'RE SORRY.
1220
00:50:39,269 --> 00:50:42,672
OH, MY GOD. MIRIAM? IS THAT YOUR NAME?
1221
00:50:42,706 --> 00:50:45,308
NO. OK.
1222
00:50:45,342 --> 00:50:47,611
WELL, I'M SORRY TO, UH...
1223
00:50:49,346 --> 00:50:51,581
I, UH, DON'T MEAN TO BOTHER YOU.
1224
00:50:51,615 --> 00:50:52,616
I APOLOGIZE.
1225
00:50:52,649 --> 00:50:54,618
MY FAULT.
1226
00:50:57,654 --> 00:50:59,856
THESE LOOK BETTER.
1227
00:50:59,890 --> 00:51:00,424
THESE LOOK BETTER.
1228
00:51:00,457 --> 00:51:02,325
CAN YOU SMELL THAT?
1229
00:51:02,359 --> 00:51:04,861
CAN YOU SMELL THE PENNY?
1230
00:51:04,895 --> 00:51:05,862
ENOUGH ALREADY. OK.
1231
00:51:05,896 --> 00:51:07,664
OK? I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO COME OUT HERE AGAIN.
1232
00:51:07,697 --> 00:51:11,134
OK, I CAN SEE YOUR FRIEND. HE'S GOT A CAMERA HERE.
1233
00:51:11,168 --> 00:51:12,602
I MEAN-- YEAH. WE'RE JUST--
1234
00:51:12,636 --> 00:51:13,870
YOU'RE NOT VERY INCONSPICUOUS,
1235
00:51:13,904 --> 00:51:15,872
WHAT YOU'RE DOING HERE WITH MY CUSTOMERS.
1236
00:51:15,906 --> 00:51:16,840
IF THE OWNER WAS HERE RIGHT NOW,
1237
00:51:16,873 --> 00:51:18,875
I COULD GET IN A LOT OF TROUBLE, SO, UH--
1238
00:51:18,909 --> 00:51:19,943
OK, I'M--OK.
1239
00:51:19,976 --> 00:51:22,612
IF YOU'RE GONNA SHOP HERE, THAT'S ABSOLUTELY FINE.
1240
00:51:22,646 --> 00:51:23,880
JUST STAY AWAY FROM THE CUSTOMERS,
1241
00:51:23,914 --> 00:51:25,482
- IF YOU WOULD, PLEASE. - OK, OK. SORRY.
1242
00:51:25,515 --> 00:51:26,616
- OK? - SORRY.
1243
00:51:26,650 --> 00:51:27,584
- THANK YOU. - OK.
1244
00:51:27,617 --> 00:51:28,418
I UNDERSTAND. I'LL GO NOW.
1245
00:51:28,452 --> 00:51:31,488
I JUST--OK, I'LL STAY AWAY FROM THEM.
1246
00:51:33,657 --> 00:51:35,859
EXCUSE ME. CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR A SECOND?
1247
00:51:35,892 --> 00:51:36,526
YEAH. WHAT'S UP?
1248
00:51:36,560 --> 00:51:39,629
[LAUGHING] JERRY SEINFELD.
1249
00:51:39,663 --> 00:51:40,664
"HELLO, NEWMAN."
1250
00:51:40,697 --> 00:51:44,301
UH, I'M TRYING TO GET A, UH, PETITION GOING
1251
00:51:44,334 --> 00:51:46,570
FOR, UM-- YEAH? WHAT'S IT FOR?
1252
00:51:46,603 --> 00:51:47,637
I'M JUST TRYING TO GET,
1253
00:51:47,671 --> 00:51:49,306
UM, JEWS TO, UH, SIGN A PETITION
1254
00:51:49,339 --> 00:51:51,575
SAYING THEY'RE SORRY THAT--THAT JESUS GOT KILLED,
1255
00:51:51,608 --> 00:51:52,642
AND THEIR ROLE OF THAT.
1256
00:51:52,676 --> 00:51:53,944
IT'S JUST KIND OF LIKE--
1257
00:51:53,977 --> 00:51:54,744
ARE--ARE YOU BORED OR SOMETHING?
1258
00:51:54,778 --> 00:51:56,646
ARE--ARE YOU SERIOUS? I'M JUST--
1259
00:51:56,680 --> 00:51:58,348
IT'S JUST THERE'S A LOT OF HATRED IN THE WORLD.
1260
00:51:58,381 --> 00:51:59,516
I'M JUST TRYING TO CURE THAT.
1261
00:51:59,549 --> 00:52:00,450
COME ON. JUST SIGN. JUST SIGN IT.
1262
00:52:00,484 --> 00:52:01,718
JUST BE THE GUY WHO TAKES THE INITIATIVE
1263
00:52:01,751 --> 00:52:04,654
AND GETS IN THERE AND APOLOGIZES FOR WHAT YOU PEOPLE DID.
1264
00:52:04,688 --> 00:52:06,623
OK, FINE. ALL RIGHT. AWESOME.
1265
00:52:06,656 --> 00:52:09,226
UH, GO AHEAD. WRITE YOUR NAME DOWN THERE.
1266
00:52:09,259 --> 00:52:11,428
IT SAYS, "JEW NAME." YEAH.
1267
00:52:11,461 --> 00:52:12,863
THE JEW'S NAME.
1268
00:52:12,896 --> 00:52:13,463
COME ON, MAN.
1269
00:52:13,497 --> 00:52:15,565
OK, I'LL START YOU OFF.
1270
00:52:15,599 --> 00:52:16,566
"DAVID"...
1271
00:52:16,600 --> 00:52:17,300
OK, MY NAME IS DAVID.
1272
00:52:17,334 --> 00:52:18,935
OK, SHOULD I PUT FOR OCCUPATION,
1273
00:52:18,969 --> 00:52:21,471
SHOULD I PUT BANKER?
1274
00:52:21,505 --> 00:52:24,274
UH, RUNNING MEDIA?
1275
00:52:24,307 --> 00:52:25,509
REALLY?
1276
00:52:25,542 --> 00:52:26,643
RUNNING MEDIA. OK.
1277
00:52:26,676 --> 00:52:27,911
ALSO, WE'RE GIVING AWAY,
1278
00:52:27,944 --> 00:52:29,312
AND I THINK YOU MIGHT LIKE THIS,
1279
00:52:29,346 --> 00:52:31,414
50% OFF RHINOPLASTIES.
1280
00:52:31,448 --> 00:52:32,949
UM...
1281
00:52:32,983 --> 00:52:35,852
DISCOUNT NOSE JOBS. 50% OFF, UM...
1282
00:52:35,886 --> 00:52:36,920
MY NOSE IS--
1283
00:52:37,954 --> 00:52:38,822
MY NO--YOUR NOSE IS BIGGER THAN MINE.
1284
00:52:38,855 --> 00:52:40,857
BUT REALLY, YOU'RE JUST DEFLECTING NOW.
1285
00:52:40,891 --> 00:52:42,692
YOUR NOSE IS HUMONGOUS.
1286
00:52:42,726 --> 00:52:44,494
NO, IT'S NOT.
1287
00:52:51,268 --> 00:52:52,636
PEAR.
1288
00:52:52,669 --> 00:52:53,970
HOW ARE YOU?
1289
00:52:54,004 --> 00:52:57,274
[SIGHS] NOT TOO BAD, NOT TOO BAD.
1290
00:52:57,307 --> 00:52:59,576
DO YOU WANT TO SIGN MY PETITION?
1291
00:52:59,609 --> 00:53:00,977
WHAT'S IT ALL ABOUT?
1292
00:53:01,011 --> 00:53:01,811
I'M TRYING TO GET--
1293
00:53:01,845 --> 00:53:02,946
[SIGHS] JEWS TO SIGN THIS PETITION
1294
00:53:02,979 --> 00:53:05,982
SAYING THEY'RE SORRY ABOUT THE KILLING OF JESUS.
1295
00:53:06,016 --> 00:53:07,951
AND NONE OF THESE HYMIES WILL--WILL DO IT,
1296
00:53:07,984 --> 00:53:08,985
AND IT'S JUST FRUSTRATING,
1297
00:53:09,019 --> 00:53:10,954
'CAUSE I'M JUST TRYING TO BRING PEOPLE TOGETHER.
1298
00:53:10,987 --> 00:53:11,922
YEAH. I MEAN, WHY NOT?
1299
00:53:11,955 --> 00:53:13,523
ALL RIGHT. AWESOME, MAN.
1300
00:53:13,557 --> 00:53:14,925
"NAME." JUST PUT YOUR NAME THERE.
1301
00:53:14,958 --> 00:53:17,961
NAME. NAME'S "FUCK YOU."
1302
00:53:17,994 --> 00:53:19,930
ALL RIGHT.
1303
00:53:19,963 --> 00:53:20,964
OK. THANK YOU.
1304
00:53:20,997 --> 00:53:21,665
IF YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BE SERIOUS ABOUT THIS.
1305
00:53:21,698 --> 00:53:22,732
I MEAN, WHAT THE FUCK, DUDE?
1306
00:53:22,766 --> 00:53:25,001
SO, YOU'RE NOT SORRY ABOUT THE KILLING OF JESUS?
1307
00:53:25,035 --> 00:53:25,969
IS HE DOING IT AGAIN?
1308
00:53:26,002 --> 00:53:27,871
WHY--YOU AGAIN? YOU'RE ALWAYS BOTHERING ME!
1309
00:53:27,904 --> 00:53:30,006
YOU'RE BOTHERING MY CUSTOMERS. OUT YOU GO.
1310
00:53:30,040 --> 00:53:31,007
I WISH IT WAS 6 MILLION AND ONE.
1311
00:53:31,041 --> 00:53:32,876
OHH! OUT. IMMEDIATELY.
1312
00:53:32,909 --> 00:53:34,010
- GET OUT OF HERE. - STOP, STOP, STOP!
1313
00:53:34,044 --> 00:53:35,011
I DIDN'T MEAN ANY HARM.
1314
00:53:35,045 --> 00:53:36,046
STOP! YOU'RE CRUCIFYING ME.
1315
00:53:36,079 --> 00:53:38,481
- STOP IT! YOU'RE A REAL JERK, YOU KNOW THAT?
1316
00:53:38,515 --> 00:53:39,382
THIS IS WHAT YOU DID TO JESUS, TOO.
1317
00:53:39,416 --> 00:53:41,017
- STOP, STOP, STOP! - GET OUT OF HERE.
1318
00:53:41,051 --> 00:53:43,353
I WILL SUE YOU.
1319
00:53:45,922 --> 00:53:48,658
WELL, DOCTOR, I JUST, YOU KNOW,
1320
00:53:48,692 --> 00:53:50,560
FIND THAT I'M HAVING TROUBLE
1321
00:53:50,594 --> 00:53:52,429
OPENING UP IN MY RELATIONSHIPS,
1322
00:53:52,462 --> 00:53:53,463
REALLY BEING VULNERABLE.
1323
00:53:54,731 --> 00:53:55,665
THE THING IS IS THAT I THINK THIS COMES FROM MY CHILDHOOD.
1324
00:53:55,699 --> 00:53:58,902
MY--MY PARENTS GOT DIVORCED AT A YOUNG AGE,
1325
00:53:58,935 --> 00:54:00,236
AND I FEEL LIKE MY FATHER LEAVING
1326
00:54:00,270 --> 00:54:03,907
HAS REALLY, YOU KNOW, TAKEN A--A CHUNK OUT OF MY SELF-ESTEEM.
1327
00:54:03,940 --> 00:54:05,141
MM-HMM. THAT'S A SHAME.
1328
00:54:05,175 --> 00:54:10,513
YOU KNOW, I FEEL LIKE THERE'S A GOOD GIRL INSIDE OF ME,
1329
00:54:10,547 --> 00:54:13,350
AND A RAUNCHY RAVEN THAT COMES OUT
1330
00:54:13,383 --> 00:54:15,619
WHEN I HAVE SEX WITH SOME STRANGER.
1331
00:54:15,652 --> 00:54:18,088
HMM? YOU KNOW, MY--MY SELF-ESTEEM ISSUES.
1332
00:54:18,121 --> 00:54:19,656
LET'S GET BACK TO THE SEX.
1333
00:54:19,689 --> 00:54:22,559
UH, WHAT KIND OF SEX ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
1334
00:54:22,592 --> 00:54:25,595
SEX WITH--WITH, UM, MANY, MANY MEN.
1335
00:54:25,629 --> 00:54:27,364
SOMETIMES IN GROUPS AS, YOU KNOW--
1336
00:54:27,397 --> 00:54:29,633
YOU'RE WITH A DOCTOR. YOU CAN BE SPECIFIC.
1337
00:54:29,666 --> 00:54:32,702
WELL, HAND JOBS, BLOW JOBS, GAGGING,
1338
00:54:32,736 --> 00:54:35,939
DOUBLE PENETRATION, FACIALS,
1339
00:54:35,972 --> 00:54:37,507
DRY HUMPING,
1340
00:54:37,540 --> 00:54:39,709
SEX WITH TOYS, ROLE PLAY, WHIPS,
1341
00:54:39,743 --> 00:54:40,677
CHAINS, THE WHOLE GAMUT.
1342
00:54:40,710 --> 00:54:44,948
I'VE--I'VE JUST SPENT YEARS DROWNED IN A--
1343
00:54:44,981 --> 00:54:46,950
IN A POOL OF SEMEN.
1344
00:54:46,983 --> 00:54:48,351
YOU KNOW?
1345
00:54:48,385 --> 00:54:49,119
THAT'S INTERESTING. DROWNING.
1346
00:54:49,152 --> 00:54:50,987
TRYING TO GET OUT AND BE MYSELF,
1347
00:54:51,021 --> 00:54:55,025
BUT JUST BEING COVERED IN-- IN NAMELESS...
1348
00:54:55,058 --> 00:54:56,993
MM-HMM. FACELESS...
1349
00:54:57,027 --> 00:54:58,028
SEMEN.
1350
00:54:58,061 --> 00:54:59,396
[CRYING] THEN I--
1351
00:54:59,429 --> 00:55:00,997
THEN I STARTED DOING THE DRUGS.
1352
00:55:01,031 --> 00:55:03,099
WHAT DO THE DRUGS MAKE YOU DO?
1353
00:55:03,133 --> 00:55:06,102
THEY WOULD TAKE ME TO A WHOLE NEW LEVEL
1354
00:55:06,136 --> 00:55:07,370
WITH--WITH THIS SEX,
1355
00:55:07,404 --> 00:55:10,974
THIS DISGUSTING, YOU KNOW, BASE,
1356
00:55:11,007 --> 00:55:13,043
DEPRAVED, ANIMALISTIC.
1357
00:55:13,076 --> 00:55:15,578
LIKE I WASN'T EVEN HUMAN ANYMORE.
1358
00:55:15,612 --> 00:55:17,047
I WAS JUST THIS THING. [MOANING]
1359
00:55:17,080 --> 00:55:18,048
AND I JUST...
1360
00:55:18,982 --> 00:55:21,985
I WANTED TO GET FUCKED ALL NIGHT LONG,
1361
00:55:22,018 --> 00:55:25,088
AND I JUST WANTED TO BANG, BANG,
1362
00:55:25,121 --> 00:55:26,089
BANG ALL NIGHT LONG.
1363
00:55:26,122 --> 00:55:27,290
YOU KNOW? AND IT DIDN'T MATTER WHO IT WAS.
1364
00:55:27,323 --> 00:55:32,128
I'D TAKE ANY GUY THAT--THAT CAME AND I WOULD FACE HIM.
1365
00:55:32,162 --> 00:55:35,131
WE'D DO IT WHEREVER--WHEREVER.
1366
00:55:35,165 --> 00:55:38,001
DO YOU HAVE ANY OF THOSE DRUGS ON YOU?
1367
00:55:38,034 --> 00:55:39,102
YEAH.
1368
00:55:39,135 --> 00:55:41,604
CAN I SEE THEM?
1369
00:55:45,141 --> 00:55:47,544
HOW MANY OF THESE DRUGS DID YOU TAKE?
1370
00:55:47,577 --> 00:55:49,546
NO MORE THAN 1/2 OR LOOK OUT.
1371
00:55:49,579 --> 00:55:51,014
IT MAKES EVERYTHING MORE DIFFICULT.
1372
00:55:51,047 --> 00:55:53,717
IT MAKES MY FRIENDSHIPS,
1373
00:55:53,750 --> 00:55:55,051
YOU KNOW, JUST FALL APART.
1374
00:55:55,085 --> 00:55:56,686
NOBODY TRUSTS ME OR--
1375
00:55:56,720 --> 00:55:58,021
HOW COULD THEY TRUST YOU?
1376
00:55:58,054 --> 00:55:59,956
WHO WOULD TRUST ME? I-- YOU'RE A BAD GIRL.
1377
00:55:59,989 --> 00:56:02,525
I AM A BAD, BAD GIRL. MM-HMM.
1378
00:56:02,559 --> 00:56:06,029
AND IT'S JUST SO EMBARRASSING.
1379
00:56:06,062 --> 00:56:09,099
[WEEPING]
1380
00:56:10,200 --> 00:56:13,169
[CRUNCHING]
1381
00:56:14,104 --> 00:56:15,071
[GULP]
1382
00:56:15,105 --> 00:56:17,073
5 MINUTES FOR THE DRUGS, HUH?
1383
00:56:17,107 --> 00:56:18,174
UH, YEAH.
1384
00:56:18,208 --> 00:56:19,142
AND, UM... MM-HMM.
1385
00:56:19,175 --> 00:56:22,512
I HAD TO CHANGE. I STARTED PRAYING A LOT.
1386
00:56:22,545 --> 00:56:24,047
OH, THAT'S NOT GONNA WORK.
1387
00:56:24,080 --> 00:56:25,148
AND, UM, YOU KNOW,
1388
00:56:25,181 --> 00:56:27,050
REALLY TRYING TO FIND THE LORD.
1389
00:56:27,083 --> 00:56:30,086
WHAT WOULD HE KNOW? HE NEVER EVEN HAD SEX.
1390
00:56:30,120 --> 00:56:31,087
OHH.
1391
00:56:31,121 --> 00:56:32,655
SORRY.
1392
00:56:32,689 --> 00:56:35,125
IT'S RUINED MY LIFE,
1393
00:56:35,158 --> 00:56:40,163
BUT IT'S SO NICE TO FINALLY MEET A MAN I CAN TALK TO.
1394
00:56:40,196 --> 00:56:41,998
[CRUNCHING]
1395
00:56:42,031 --> 00:56:43,166
AND YOU'RE REALLY LISTENING TO ME, YOU KNOW?
1396
00:56:43,199 --> 00:56:46,603
I'M IN PAIN AND I'M--I'M FINALLY UNLOADING IT ON YOU
1397
00:56:46,636 --> 00:56:48,605
AND OHH! IT'S HARD.
1398
00:56:48,638 --> 00:56:50,173
YOU KNOW, TO-- TO GET IT OUT,
1399
00:56:50,206 --> 00:56:51,174
AND I FEEL LIKE YOU LISTEN TO ME.
1400
00:56:51,207 --> 00:56:53,176
AND I FEEL LIKE, YOU KNOW,
1401
00:56:53,209 --> 00:56:56,946
THAT IT'S NOT ABOUT THE $300 THAT I'M PAYING YOU.
1402
00:56:56,980 --> 00:57:00,083
I FEEL LIKE YOU REALLY--UH, $400. MM-HMM.
1403
00:57:00,116 --> 00:57:01,284
I FEEL LIKE IT'S ABOUT, YOU KNOW,
1404
00:57:01,317 --> 00:57:04,554
LIKE A CONNECTION THAT YOU AND I HAVE. I CAN SEE IT.
1405
00:57:04,587 --> 00:57:06,156
[COUGHING]
1406
00:57:06,189 --> 00:57:07,624
YOU'RE FEELING WHAT I'M GOING THROUGH,
1407
00:57:07,657 --> 00:57:08,958
AND IT'S SO-- IT'S SO WONDERFUL.
1408
00:57:08,992 --> 00:57:09,826
IT'S OK, YOU'RE--
1409
00:57:09,859 --> 00:57:12,562
I CAN SEE YOU'RE RIGHT HERE WITH ME.
1410
00:57:12,595 --> 00:57:14,164
[CHOKING] YOU KNOW?
1411
00:57:14,197 --> 00:57:16,065
AND IT'S JUST LIKE, I'VE NEVER CRIED WITH A MAN BEFORE.
1412
00:57:16,099 --> 00:57:17,267
THIS IS BEAUTIFUL.
1413
00:57:17,300 --> 00:57:19,068
I JUST--I FEEL LIKE WE'RE--
1414
00:57:19,102 --> 00:57:22,138
YOU'RE CONNECTED TO ME, YOU KNOW, AND...
1415
00:57:22,172 --> 00:57:25,108
[CHOKING]
1416
00:57:25,141 --> 00:57:27,043
UHH!
1417
00:57:27,076 --> 00:57:29,913
IS THE HOUR UP?
1418
00:57:31,080 --> 00:57:33,149
[HUMMING]
1419
00:57:41,157 --> 00:57:43,226
P.A.: DR. GORDON...
1420
00:57:43,259 --> 00:57:45,061
[DOOR OPENS]
1421
00:57:50,200 --> 00:57:51,234
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
1422
00:57:51,267 --> 00:57:52,535
MY BABY MAMA BE IN A MINUTE.
1423
00:57:52,569 --> 00:57:54,671
YOU GOT ANY MORE BOOKS?
1424
00:57:56,072 --> 00:57:58,107
HOW Y'ALL DOING?
1425
00:58:03,313 --> 00:58:08,284
HOW Y'ALL DOING? THIS YOUR FIRST TIME DOWN HERE?
1426
00:58:08,318 --> 00:58:11,054
YEAH. OH, OK.
1427
00:58:11,087 --> 00:58:13,223
YOU NERVOUS?
1428
00:58:13,256 --> 00:58:14,657
YES.
1429
00:58:14,691 --> 00:58:15,525
YEAH, YOU SHOULD BE.
1430
00:58:15,558 --> 00:58:18,962
I BET YOU WEAR A RUBBER NEXT TIME, HUH?
1431
00:58:21,164 --> 00:58:23,633
GOT YOU DOWN HERE AT THE CHOP SHOP.
1432
00:58:23,666 --> 00:58:26,269
SO, HOW LONG Y'ALL BEEN WAITING?
1433
00:58:26,302 --> 00:58:27,704
AN HOUR. I DON'T KNOW.
1434
00:58:27,737 --> 00:58:28,738
DAMN! THEY GOT YOU SIGNING
1435
00:58:29,706 --> 00:58:31,975
ALL TYPES OF UNNECESSARY PAPERWORK AND SHIT?
1436
00:58:32,008 --> 00:58:34,944
AND ON TOP OF THAT, 600 STACKS.
1437
00:58:34,978 --> 00:58:37,247
600 BENJAMINS DOWN THE TUBE.
1438
00:58:37,280 --> 00:58:38,281
NO PUN INTENDED, 'CAUSE I KNOW
1439
00:58:40,083 --> 00:58:40,917
IT'S A SENSITIVE TIME FOR YOU AND YOUR GIRL, YOU KNOW?
1440
00:58:40,950 --> 00:58:43,052
IT'S ALL RIGHT. IT IS WHAT IT IS, SIR.
1441
00:58:43,086 --> 00:58:44,954
YEAH, MAN. IT IS WHAT IT IS,
1442
00:58:44,988 --> 00:58:45,755
AND IT WAS WHAT IT WAS
1443
00:58:45,788 --> 00:58:47,223
WHEN YOU WAS TEARIN' THAT ASS UP
1444
00:58:47,257 --> 00:58:49,125
ACROSS THE KITCHEN SINK, HUH?
1445
00:58:49,158 --> 00:58:51,261
SO, HOW YOU GONNA PAY FOR THIS, MAN?
1446
00:58:51,294 --> 00:58:52,929
HOW'S YOUR CASH FLOW?
1447
00:58:52,962 --> 00:58:54,197
I DON'T KNOW, MAN.
1448
00:58:54,230 --> 00:58:55,665
IT'S NOT THAT GREAT.
1449
00:58:55,698 --> 00:58:57,233
THAT'S WHAT I FIGURED. HEY, YO.
1450
00:58:57,267 --> 00:58:58,368
YOU SHOULD HAVE GOT THIS SHIT DONE IN VEGAS.
1451
00:58:58,401 --> 00:59:02,038
THEY GOT SLOT MACHINES IN THE ABORTION CLINIC IN VEGAS.
1452
00:59:02,071 --> 00:59:03,273
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? CHA-CHING!
1453
00:59:03,306 --> 00:59:05,275
THEY GIVE YOU A CHANCE TO GET YOUR MONEY BACK IN VEGAS.
1454
00:59:05,308 --> 00:59:08,111
A LOT OF THE DOCTORS WILL GO DOUBLE OR NOTHING WITH YOU, TOO,
1455
00:59:08,144 --> 00:59:09,612
'CAUSE THEY GAMBLE.
1456
00:59:09,646 --> 00:59:11,080
GREAT.
1457
00:59:11,114 --> 00:59:12,382
HEY, HEY. I GOT THE HOOK-UP, THOUGH.
1458
00:59:12,415 --> 00:59:14,183
IF YOU WANT TO TAKE CARE OF IT,
1459
00:59:14,217 --> 00:59:15,685
I COULD SELL YOU, LIKE, 500 STACKS.
1460
00:59:15,718 --> 00:59:16,352
Y'ALL LIKE HOOK-UPS?
1461
00:59:17,220 --> 00:59:19,122
YOU KNOW, LIKE, FREE--FREE 99? YOU KNOW?
1462
00:59:19,155 --> 00:59:20,256
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
1463
00:59:20,290 --> 00:59:21,991
THIS RIGHT HERE. FUCK ALL THESE BOOKS.
1464
00:59:22,025 --> 00:59:23,226
I CAN TAKE CARE OF THIS RIGHT NOW.
1465
00:59:23,259 --> 00:59:24,961
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? HA HA!
1466
00:59:24,994 --> 00:59:25,762
OH, MY GOD. YEAH!
1467
00:59:25,795 --> 00:59:27,230
YOU WANNA DO THIS? ARE YOU SERIOUS?
1468
00:59:27,263 --> 00:59:28,231
ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?
1469
00:59:28,264 --> 00:59:29,098
NO, I AIN'T OUT OF MY MIND.
1470
00:59:29,132 --> 00:59:31,234
I'M TRYING TO SAVE Y'ALL SOME MONEY, MAN.
1471
00:59:31,267 --> 00:59:32,368
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
1472
00:59:32,402 --> 00:59:33,202
NO, BABY. COME ON.
1473
00:59:33,236 --> 00:59:34,637
WE CAN GET IT CRACKIN' RIGHT NOW.
1474
00:59:34,671 --> 00:59:38,007
GO AROUND THE CORNER, I SNATCH THAT BAD BOY RIGHT UP OUT OF HER ASS.
1475
00:59:38,041 --> 00:59:39,275
OH, MY GOD. ARE YOU JOKING?
1476
00:59:39,309 --> 00:59:39,976
NO, I AIN'T JOKING, MAN.
1477
00:59:40,009 --> 00:59:40,843
THIS IS HOW I MAKE MY MONEY.
1478
00:59:40,877 --> 00:59:43,112
COME ON, NOW. LET'S GET IT CRACKIN'.
1479
00:59:43,146 --> 00:59:44,247
NO, NO, NO. THAT IS HORRIBLE.
1480
00:59:44,280 --> 00:59:45,715
OH, BABY. I AIN'T MEAN TO SCARE YOU.
1481
00:59:45,748 --> 00:59:47,216
I'M JUST TRYING TO HELP YOU--
1482
00:59:47,250 --> 00:59:48,217
PUT IT--PUT THAT AWAY.
1483
00:59:48,251 --> 00:59:49,285
OH, Y'ALL DON'T WANNA DO THIS?
1484
00:59:49,319 --> 00:59:50,553
THAT IS SO OFFENSIVE.
1485
00:59:50,586 --> 00:59:52,956
YOU ALREADY AT THE SLAUGHTERHOUSE. LET'S GET THIS CRACKIN'.
1486
00:59:52,989 --> 00:59:54,390
PLEASE PUT THAT AWAY. THIS CONVERSATION--
1487
00:59:54,424 --> 00:59:55,258
THAT IS SO RUDE.
1488
00:59:55,291 --> 00:59:56,759
I--I TELL YOU WHAT. I TELL YOU WHAT.
1489
00:59:56,793 --> 00:59:58,394
HOW ABOUT I DO A 2 FOR 1 SPECIAL,
1490
00:59:58,428 --> 01:00:00,263
WITH HER AND THIS OTHER HO OVER HERE
1491
01:00:00,296 --> 01:00:02,031
WHO CAN'T KEEP HER LEGS CLOSED,
1492
01:00:02,065 --> 01:00:03,066
AND WE GET IT CRACKIN'
1493
01:00:04,200 --> 01:00:04,901
LIKE "INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS" UP IN HERE.
1494
01:00:04,934 --> 01:00:06,202
HOW ABOUT THAT? HOLIDAY SPECIAL.
1495
01:00:06,235 --> 01:00:07,236
EXCUSE ME? A WHORE?
1496
01:00:08,304 --> 01:00:08,972
OH, I--NO, I DIDN'T-- I SAID "HO," NOT "WHORE."
1497
01:00:09,005 --> 01:00:10,006
THERE'S A DIFFERENCE, BABY.
1498
01:00:10,039 --> 01:00:12,775
I CAN USE ONE END FOR YOU AND ONE END FOR HER,
1499
01:00:12,809 --> 01:00:15,278
AND WE AIN'T GOTTA KEEP STERILIZING THIS MOTHERFUCKER WITH MY WEED LIGHTEI.
1500
01:00:15,311 --> 01:00:16,479
YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M SAYING?
1501
01:00:16,512 --> 01:00:18,414
WE COULD DO THIS RIGHT NOW FOR $100 STRAIGHT UP. NO TAX.
1502
01:00:18,448 --> 01:00:20,350
- PLEASE GO AWAY. - ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?
1503
01:00:20,383 --> 01:00:21,751
I TELL YOU WHAT, I CUT A DEAL WITH YOU
1504
01:00:21,784 --> 01:00:22,819
'CAUSE THIS IS A RECESSION.
1505
01:00:22,852 --> 01:00:24,721
HOW ABOUT I JUST KICK HER DOWN THE STAIRS FOR 50?
1506
01:00:24,754 --> 01:00:26,756
- THIS CONVERSATION IS-- - SCREW YOU.
1507
01:00:26,789 --> 01:00:28,024
I AM GETTING SECURITY.
1508
01:00:28,057 --> 01:00:29,125
OH, YOU GONNA CALL SECURITY NOW?
1509
01:00:29,158 --> 01:00:31,160
WELL, I'M ON PROBATION. I GOTTA GET UP OUT OF HERE.
1510
01:00:31,194 --> 01:00:33,763
YOU KNOW, O.J. DONE FUCKED IT UP FOR EVERYBODY.
1511
01:00:33,796 --> 01:00:35,064
- [KNOCKING] SECURITY. - EXCUSE ME.
1512
01:00:35,098 --> 01:00:36,332
Y'ALL NEED TO RESPECT THE RECESSION.
1513
01:00:36,366 --> 01:00:38,001
SIR, YOU NEED TO--
1514
01:00:38,034 --> 01:00:39,369
MEET ME AROUND THE CORNER IF YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND.
1515
01:00:39,402 --> 01:00:41,304
WE CAN GET IT CRACKIN'. YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN'?
1516
01:00:41,337 --> 01:00:43,106
JUST LEAVE US ALONE, PLEASE.
1517
01:00:43,139 --> 01:00:44,173
OK. HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT?
1518
01:00:44,207 --> 01:00:46,442
KEEP THE HANGER. KEEP THE HANGER.
1519
01:00:46,476 --> 01:00:48,344
[GASPS] OHH.
1520
01:00:51,314 --> 01:00:54,350
THINGS YOU'LL NEVER SEE.
1521
01:00:54,384 --> 01:00:55,985
A BEAUTIFUL GIRL...
1522
01:00:56,019 --> 01:00:57,353
Man: LOOK WHAT I GOT FOR YOU.
1523
01:00:57,387 --> 01:00:58,454
DATING AN OLDER MAN...
1524
01:00:58,488 --> 01:01:01,057
BABY, I'M BUYING THIS FOR YOU.
1525
01:01:01,090 --> 01:01:02,258
WHO'S POOR.
1526
01:01:02,291 --> 01:01:03,493
NO. AWW.
1527
01:01:03,526 --> 01:01:07,430
I DON'T WANT YOU SPENDING YOUR HARD-EARNED MONEY ON ME.
1528
01:01:07,463 --> 01:01:09,365
AWW. BABY.
1529
01:01:09,399 --> 01:01:11,067
WE'VE GOT AN AGREEMENT.
1530
01:01:11,100 --> 01:01:14,337
YOU PUT OUT, I'LL PAY YOUR RENT.
1531
01:01:14,370 --> 01:01:15,471
YOU HEAR ME, BITCH?
1532
01:01:15,505 --> 01:01:17,340
OHH. YOU DON'T WANT THE DRESS?
1533
01:01:17,373 --> 01:01:19,142
WELL, FUCK IT. UH-UH.
1534
01:01:19,175 --> 01:01:19,842
[CLATTERING]
1535
01:01:19,876 --> 01:01:20,676
COME OVER HERE AND GIVE ME
1536
01:01:20,710 --> 01:01:24,280
THAT LONG, BEAUTIFUL TONGUE OF YOURS.
1537
01:01:24,313 --> 01:01:26,382
[BOTH MOANING]
1538
01:01:26,416 --> 01:01:27,316
[CRASH]
1539
01:01:27,350 --> 01:01:28,351
Announcer: THAT WAS...
1540
01:01:28,384 --> 01:01:32,722
THINGS YOU'LL NEVER SEE.
1541
01:01:33,389 --> 01:01:35,291
[HUMMING]
1542
01:01:36,325 --> 01:01:38,094
COME GET YOUR BOAT RIDES.
1543
01:01:38,127 --> 01:01:41,431
FREE ONE-WAY TRIPS ON A BOAT.
1544
01:01:41,464 --> 01:01:44,133
WHO LOVES BOATS?
1545
01:01:44,167 --> 01:01:45,535
LUXURY CRUISE.
1546
01:01:45,568 --> 01:01:47,336
CAN I INTEREST ANYONE IN A LUXURY CRUISE
1547
01:01:47,370 --> 01:01:49,305
ON A STEAMLINER?
1548
01:01:49,338 --> 01:01:52,442
ARE YOU INTERESTED IN A BOAT TRIP?
1549
01:01:52,475 --> 01:01:54,277
LOOK ME IN THE EYE.
1550
01:01:54,310 --> 01:01:56,145
THAT WOULD BE A LOT MORE RESPECTFUL.
1551
01:01:56,179 --> 01:01:58,347
LIKE YOU DON'T KNOW YOUR PLACE. HOW ARE YOU GUYS?
1552
01:01:58,381 --> 01:01:59,215
HEY.
1553
01:01:59,248 --> 01:02:00,149
CAN I INTEREST YOU GUYS IN A BOAT RIDE?
1554
01:02:00,183 --> 01:02:01,117
WE'RE GIVING AWAY FREE BOAT RIDES TODAY.
1555
01:02:01,150 --> 01:02:03,519
- BOAT RIDE? - YEAH, IT'S A FREE BOAT RIDE.
1556
01:02:03,553 --> 01:02:06,222
IT'S--IT'S--WE'RE TRYING TO GET, UH,
1557
01:02:06,255 --> 01:02:07,223
WHAT DO YOU GUYS CALL YOURSELF?
1558
01:02:07,256 --> 01:02:09,525
AFRICAN-AMERICANS TO, UH, BACK TO AFRICA.
1559
01:02:09,559 --> 01:02:11,360
UM, YOU KNOW, WHERE YOU'RE FROM.
1560
01:02:11,394 --> 01:02:12,228
HEY, MAN, I'M FROM HERE.
1561
01:02:12,261 --> 01:02:13,396
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
1562
01:02:13,429 --> 01:02:14,497
THERE'S BEEN A LOT OF TALK
1563
01:02:14,530 --> 01:02:17,400
ABOUT HOW WHITE PEOPLE STOLE, UH, BLACK PEOPLE
1564
01:02:17,433 --> 01:02:18,367
AND BROUGHT THEM HERE.
1565
01:02:18,401 --> 01:02:19,569
SO, WE'RE TRYING TO MAKE UP FOR THOSE WRONGS
1566
01:02:19,602 --> 01:02:20,536
BY, UM, OFFERING FREE TRIPS BACK.
1567
01:02:20,570 --> 01:02:23,005
I'M FROM HERE, MAN. I'M FROM THIS CITY.
1568
01:02:23,039 --> 01:02:24,407
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
1569
01:02:24,440 --> 01:02:26,409
PLEASE, DR. HUXTABLE. TAKE IT DOWN A NOTCH.
1570
01:02:26,442 --> 01:02:28,277
UH, I'M JUST TRYING TO HELP YOU.
1571
01:02:28,311 --> 01:02:29,378
I'M JUST TRYING TO--
1572
01:02:29,412 --> 01:02:31,414
'CAUSE I DON'T HAVE 40 ACRES. I DON'T HAVE A MULE.
1573
01:02:31,447 --> 01:02:32,381
DUDE, WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?
1574
01:02:32,415 --> 01:02:33,449
OH, NO. HE DIDN'T SAY THAT.
1575
01:02:33,483 --> 01:02:35,351
IT'S FREE, SIR. IT'S FREE.
1576
01:02:35,384 --> 01:02:36,419
AFRICA IS A WONDERFUL PLACE.
1577
01:02:36,452 --> 01:02:37,520
YOU GUYS, IF YOU JUST STEP ON,
1578
01:02:37,553 --> 01:02:38,521
WE COULD--WE'D HAVE A GREAT TIME.
1579
01:02:38,554 --> 01:02:40,056
THERE'S TONS OF STUFF IN HERE.
1580
01:02:40,089 --> 01:02:41,424
THERE'S MALT LIQUOR, IF YOU GUYS--
1581
01:02:41,457 --> 01:02:43,059
MALT LIQUOR? YEAH.
1582
01:02:43,092 --> 01:02:44,360
I DON'T DRINK, ALL RIGHT?
1583
01:02:44,393 --> 01:02:45,428
I CAN'T DRINK.
1584
01:02:45,461 --> 01:02:46,429
HEY, CALM DOWN. FINE. KOOL-AID.
1585
01:02:46,462 --> 01:02:48,131
SAY WHATEVER YOU WANT.
1586
01:02:48,164 --> 01:02:49,999
BUT WE-- WE HAVE EVERYTHING.
1587
01:02:50,032 --> 01:02:51,334
IF YOU WANT TO GET YOUR HAIR DONE,
1588
01:02:51,367 --> 01:02:52,435
THERE'S A SALON.
1589
01:02:52,468 --> 01:02:53,202
KOOL-AID AND MALT LIQUOR?
1590
01:02:53,236 --> 01:02:55,138
IT'S CALLED FANTASTIC SAMBO'S.
1591
01:02:55,171 --> 01:02:57,340
HEY, HEY, HEY! THIS IS MY WIFE.
1592
01:02:57,373 --> 01:02:58,441
NO, YOU NEED TO CALM DOWN.
1593
01:02:58,474 --> 01:02:59,475
HEY, LOOK. NO, NO, NO.
1594
01:02:59,509 --> 01:03:01,444
COME ON. DON'T GET-- DON'T GET UPSET, SIR.
1595
01:03:01,477 --> 01:03:02,578
I'M JUST TRYING TO BE THE NICE ONE HERE.
1596
01:03:02,612 --> 01:03:04,213
I'M JUST TRYING TO HELP PEOPLE.
1597
01:03:04,247 --> 01:03:05,314
YOU'RE FUCKING TRYING TO BE NICE?
1598
01:03:05,348 --> 01:03:06,215
WHY DON'T YOU GET THIS PIECE OF SHIT OFF THE--
1599
01:03:06,249 --> 01:03:08,551
I'M TRYING TO, BUT I NEED TO FILL IT UP.
1600
01:03:08,584 --> 01:03:10,153
WE DON'T HAVE ALL DAY. WITH WHAT?
1601
01:03:10,186 --> 01:03:11,454
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO FILL IT UP WITH?
1602
01:03:11,487 --> 01:03:12,555
JUST COME ON. IT'S A GREAT TIME.
1603
01:03:12,588 --> 01:03:14,056
I WOULDN'T HAVE CAME DOWN HERE.
1604
01:03:14,090 --> 01:03:15,558
DID YOU TELL THEM ABOUT THE BASKETBALL?
1605
01:03:15,591 --> 01:03:17,493
YEAH, WE HAVE BASKETBALL.
1606
01:03:17,527 --> 01:03:19,328
DON'T BE ANGRY.
1607
01:03:19,362 --> 01:03:21,197
WE HAVE SUNFLOWER SEEDS, AS WELL.
1608
01:03:21,230 --> 01:03:23,366
IF THAT'S AT ALL OF INTEREST TO YOU.
1609
01:03:23,399 --> 01:03:25,468
SIR, HAVE YOU EVER TASTED LION MEAT?
1610
01:03:25,501 --> 01:03:27,470
IT'S DELICIOUS.
1611
01:03:27,503 --> 01:03:29,472
HE SAID YOU'RE NUMBER ONE. AFRICA.
1612
01:03:29,505 --> 01:03:32,108
FREE TRIPS TO AFRICA.
1613
01:03:35,278 --> 01:03:37,346
LOOK AT THESE TWO. HI. HELLO.
1614
01:03:37,380 --> 01:03:38,481
HI. CAN I INTEREST, UH,
1615
01:03:38,514 --> 01:03:41,150
CAN I INTEREST YOU IN A FREE BOAT TRIP?
1616
01:03:41,184 --> 01:03:42,585
WHERE? ARE YOU GUYS WITH EACH OTHER?
1617
01:03:42,618 --> 01:03:44,487
WHERE?
1618
01:03:44,520 --> 01:03:46,489
OH, WE'RE GIVING FREE, UH, TRIPS TO--TO AFRICA.
1619
01:03:46,522 --> 01:03:47,223
TO AFRICA!
1620
01:03:47,256 --> 01:03:49,058
WHAT'S THE SITUATION HERE?
1621
01:03:49,091 --> 01:03:50,092
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN? - HOLD ON. WHAT?
1622
01:03:50,126 --> 01:03:52,495
YOU NEVER GET WHITE GUYS WITH BLACK CHICKS.
1623
01:03:52,528 --> 01:03:53,296
REALLY?
1624
01:03:53,329 --> 01:03:54,463
NOT SINCE THE NEXT-DOOR NEIGHBORS
1625
01:03:54,497 --> 01:03:56,499
ON "THE JEFFERSONS." LISTEN, IN AFRICA, YOU BELONG.
1626
01:03:56,532 --> 01:03:58,000
YOU WON'T NEED THAT HELMET HAIR.
1627
01:03:58,034 --> 01:03:59,435
YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU TALKING ABOUT I AM
1628
01:03:59,468 --> 01:04:01,370
SUPPOSED TO BE NOT HUMAN?
1629
01:04:01,404 --> 01:04:02,438
HOLDING A WATERMELON?
1630
01:04:02,471 --> 01:04:04,407
YOU KNOW WHAT? IF I COME UP THAT FUCKIN' PLANK,
1631
01:04:04,440 --> 01:04:06,075
YOUR ASS IS GOING IN THAT DAMN WATER.
1632
01:04:06,108 --> 01:04:07,176
DON'T LET ME COME UP THERE.
1633
01:04:07,210 --> 01:04:10,479
LOOK, WE HAVE CHICKEN, AND I WILL MAKE YOU WAFFLES.
1634
01:04:10,513 --> 01:04:13,115
LISTEN, IN AFRICA, YOUR VIOLENCE WILL BE REWARDED
1635
01:04:13,149 --> 01:04:13,916
INSTEAD OF PUNISHED.
1636
01:04:13,950 --> 01:04:15,351
VIOLENCE? YOUR VIOLENT NATURE.
1637
01:04:15,384 --> 01:04:16,452
YOU KNOW WHAT YOU NEED TO DO?
1638
01:04:16,485 --> 01:04:17,520
YOU NEED TO GET YOUR ASS OUT OF HERE.
1639
01:04:17,553 --> 01:04:20,289
WERE YOU A SECURITY GUARD AT THE JAIL SHE WAS IN?
1640
01:04:20,323 --> 01:04:22,158
ARE YOU SERIOUS?
1641
01:04:22,191 --> 01:04:23,526
WHAT YOU NEED TO DO IS OPEN YOUR EYES.
1642
01:04:23,559 --> 01:04:24,493
DO THESE GLASSES WORK? LET ME SEE.
1643
01:04:24,527 --> 01:04:25,361
DO THEY WORK? OH, PLEASE.
1644
01:04:25,394 --> 01:04:26,162
DO THEY WORK? I DON'T THINK THEY WORK.
1645
01:04:26,195 --> 01:04:28,297
DO YOU HAVE TO STEAL EVERYTHING?
1646
01:04:28,331 --> 01:04:29,999
- DO YOU WANT THEM BACK? - YES, I WOULD.
1647
01:04:30,032 --> 01:04:31,033
THERE. YOU CAN HAVE THEM BACK
1648
01:04:31,067 --> 01:04:32,068
BECAUSE I AM A CIVILIZED PERSON.
1649
01:04:32,101 --> 01:04:33,502
I'M NOT GONNA BEAT YOUR ASS FUCKIN' SENSELESS.
1650
01:04:33,536 --> 01:04:36,172
CIVILIZED PEOPLE DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT.
1651
01:04:36,205 --> 01:04:38,307
HOW MUCH SHIT DO YOU GOT BACK THERE?
1652
01:04:38,341 --> 01:04:39,542
WHAT THE FUCK, DUDE?
1653
01:04:39,575 --> 01:04:41,544
WE HAVE EVERYTHING YOU'D NEED FOR THE TRIP.
1654
01:04:41,577 --> 01:04:44,113
THIS IS REALLY STUPID.
1655
01:04:44,146 --> 01:04:44,880
DON'T YOU KNOW WE'RE IN THE 21st CENTURY, ALL RIGHT?
1656
01:04:44,914 --> 01:04:46,382
THAT'S WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY!
1657
01:04:46,415 --> 01:04:47,316
IF YOU BLEED, YOU'RE RED.
1658
01:04:47,350 --> 01:04:49,118
IF SHE BLEEDS, YOU'RE--WHAT THE FUCK?
1659
01:04:49,151 --> 01:04:50,353
EAT IT. OK, OK. ALL RIGHT.
1660
01:04:50,386 --> 01:04:52,521
IT SMELLS DELICIOUS. EAT IT.
1661
01:04:52,555 --> 01:04:53,456
FOLLOW IT. EAT--
1662
01:04:53,489 --> 01:04:56,492
EAT THE FUCKING CHICKEN, YOU GODDAMN FREAK.
1663
01:04:56,525 --> 01:04:57,393
YOU CAN DO IT. EAT IT.
1664
01:04:57,426 --> 01:04:59,295
COME ON. LET'S JUST SEE HOW IT FEELS.
1665
01:04:59,328 --> 01:05:02,265
IF YOU JUST-- ♪ FOLLOW ME
1666
01:05:02,298 --> 01:05:04,066
WHAT I WANT YOU TO DO... YES.
1667
01:05:04,100 --> 01:05:05,434
I WANT YOU TO LOOK AT PEOPLE
1668
01:05:05,468 --> 01:05:07,069
AND REALIZE THAT YOUR ASS IS NOT
1669
01:05:07,103 --> 01:05:08,471
100% WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU ARE.
1670
01:05:08,504 --> 01:05:10,406
SHOULDN'T YOU BE KEEPING YOUR EYE ON HER
1671
01:05:10,439 --> 01:05:11,474
SO SHE DOESN'T RUN AWAY?
1672
01:05:11,507 --> 01:05:13,075
SHE'S NOT GONNA RUN AWAY.
1673
01:05:13,109 --> 01:05:14,310
YOU KNOW-- EASY, EASY.
1674
01:05:14,343 --> 01:05:15,578
SEE, THIS IS THE PROBLEM.
1675
01:05:15,611 --> 01:05:17,046
YOU GUYS SHOULD BE ON THE BOAT.
1676
01:05:17,079 --> 01:05:18,180
YEAH, SHE WASN'T INTO IT AT ALL.
1677
01:05:18,214 --> 01:05:22,518
FUCKIN' WAIT. JUST FUCKIN' WAIT.
1678
01:05:22,551 --> 01:05:23,452
WHOO!
1679
01:05:23,486 --> 01:05:24,520
IT'S LIKE THEY DON'T KNOW
1680
01:05:24,553 --> 01:05:26,055
WE'RE TRYING TO GIVE A GIFT.
1681
01:05:26,088 --> 01:05:28,557
IT IS A GIFT. YOU'RE A GOOD MAN.
1682
01:05:28,591 --> 01:05:30,426
FREE TRIPS TO AFRICA.
1683
01:05:30,459 --> 01:05:31,560
WHO WANTS A FREE TRIP?
1684
01:05:31,594 --> 01:05:35,031
FREE TRIPS. HELLO, MA'AM. HOW ARE YOU?
1685
01:05:35,064 --> 01:05:36,532
HI. CAN I INTEREST YOU IN A--
1686
01:05:36,565 --> 01:05:38,200
WOULD YOU LIKE FREE STUFF?
1687
01:05:38,234 --> 01:05:39,235
I LOVE FREE STUFF. YEAH.
1688
01:05:40,169 --> 01:05:41,304
WE'RE GIVING AWAY, UH, FREE TRIPS TODAY.
1689
01:05:41,337 --> 01:05:42,471
FREE, UH, BOAT RIDES.
1690
01:05:42,505 --> 01:05:43,506
YOU GUYS SHOULD GO.
1691
01:05:43,539 --> 01:05:45,074
YOU SHOULD TOTALLY GO.
1692
01:05:45,107 --> 01:05:46,208
SOUNDS FUN.
1693
01:05:46,242 --> 01:05:47,009
YEAH. WE ONLY HAVE ROOM FOR ONE MORE.
1694
01:05:47,043 --> 01:05:48,377
SO, JUST HER. I'M REALLY SORRY.
1695
01:05:48,411 --> 01:05:49,545
OH, NO. MY FRIEND HAS TO COME WITH ME.
1696
01:05:49,578 --> 01:05:51,213
I KNOW! OHH. I KNOW.
1697
01:05:51,247 --> 01:05:52,515
I'D LOVE TO HAVE YOU THERE,
1698
01:05:52,548 --> 01:05:53,616
BUT NO, IT'S JUST--
1699
01:05:53,649 --> 01:05:54,450
IT'S NOT REALLY FOR YOU.
1700
01:05:54,483 --> 01:05:56,052
IT'S ALL WE COULD HAVE RIGHT NOW.
1701
01:05:56,085 --> 01:05:57,019
ALL WHAT? JUST BLACK PEOPLE.
1702
01:05:57,053 --> 01:05:58,587
WE'RE TRYING TO GET THEM TO GO BACK TO AFRICA
1703
01:05:58,621 --> 01:06:00,623
BECAUSE, UM, WELL, ONE, THAT'S WHERE YOU'RE FROM.
1704
01:06:00,656 --> 01:06:02,625
AND TWO, A LOT OF PEOPLE DON'T WANT YOU HERE.
1705
01:06:02,658 --> 01:06:04,060
ARE YOU BLACK? JUST TO MAKE SURE.
1706
01:06:04,093 --> 01:06:06,295
I'M TOTALLY NOT ONE OF THEM, BUT...
1707
01:06:06,329 --> 01:06:07,330
WAIT. IS THIS FOR REAL?
1708
01:06:08,230 --> 01:06:09,231
YOU KNOW, SHE'S VERY LIGHT-SKINNED.
1709
01:06:09,265 --> 01:06:13,169
WELL, HOW--HOW-- WHAT PERCENTAGE BLACK ARE YOU?
1710
01:06:13,202 --> 01:06:14,437
YEAH, SHE'S BLACK.
1711
01:06:14,470 --> 01:06:15,538
I HAVE A SHADE...
1712
01:06:15,571 --> 01:06:18,140
CHECK THE SHADE THING.
1713
01:06:19,675 --> 01:06:21,477
OH, MY GOD!
1714
01:06:21,510 --> 01:06:22,445
SIR, THIS IS REALLY FUCKED UP.
1715
01:06:22,478 --> 01:06:24,580
- YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS. - YOU CAN'T DO THAT.
1716
01:06:24,613 --> 01:06:26,215
IT IS FUCKED UP.
1717
01:06:26,248 --> 01:06:27,516
YOU'RE, LIKE THIRD FROM THE-- THIRD FROM THE LEFT.
1718
01:06:27,550 --> 01:06:28,584
THIRD FROM THE RIGHT.
1719
01:06:28,617 --> 01:06:29,485
THAT'S REALLY, YEAH.
1720
01:06:29,518 --> 01:06:31,387
LET'S SHOW HER WHERE SHE COULD GO.
1721
01:06:31,420 --> 01:06:32,455
YOU'D BE IN, LIKE, LIBERIA
1722
01:06:32,488 --> 01:06:33,656
OR ONE OF THE OUTER-- OUTER NATIONS.
1723
01:06:33,689 --> 01:06:36,826
OK, YOU--YOU GUYS REALLY HAVE A PROBLEM.
1724
01:06:36,859 --> 01:06:37,793
IN THIS AREA.
1725
01:06:37,827 --> 01:06:38,994
YOU DON'T NEED TO PUT UP WITH THIS BULLSHIT.
1726
01:06:39,028 --> 01:06:41,597
YOU GUYS ARE BOTH FUCKING RACISTS. JUST SO YOU KNOW.
1727
01:06:41,630 --> 01:06:42,832
- UH, I'M RACIST? - YES.
1728
01:06:42,865 --> 01:06:44,834
UH, WHO'S THE ONE TRYING TO HANG OUT WITH A BLACK GIRL
1729
01:06:44,867 --> 01:06:46,535
SO SHE LOOKS BETTER?
1730
01:06:46,569 --> 01:06:47,470
WHAT? YEAH, YEAH.
1731
01:06:47,503 --> 01:06:48,604
SHE'S MY BEST FRIEND.
1732
01:06:48,637 --> 01:06:49,405
GUESS WHAT? NAILED IT.
1733
01:06:49,438 --> 01:06:51,140
YOU WANNA HANG OUT WITH MINORITIES
1734
01:06:51,173 --> 01:06:52,007
SO PEOPLE LIKE YOU BETTER.
1735
01:06:52,041 --> 01:06:53,642
BUT YOU'RE A MINORITY. YOU'RE A JEW.
1736
01:06:53,676 --> 01:06:55,111
[SHOUTING] I AM NOT A JEW!
1737
01:06:55,144 --> 01:06:55,945
YEAH, WELL, YOU LOOK LIKE IT.
1738
01:06:55,978 --> 01:06:57,346
THEY'RE THE GROSSEST OF THE GROSS.
1739
01:06:57,380 --> 01:06:59,682
LISTEN, AFRICA'S AN AMAZING PLACE.
1740
01:06:59,715 --> 01:07:01,384
THE MOVIES START 10 MINUTES LATE,
1741
01:07:01,417 --> 01:07:03,285
AND YOU CAN TALK ALL THE WAY THROUGH THEM.
1742
01:07:03,319 --> 01:07:04,286
OH, MY GOD!
1743
01:07:04,320 --> 01:07:05,121
THERE'S ACRES OF WATERMELON,
1744
01:07:05,154 --> 01:07:06,822
IF YOU'RE INTERESTED AT ALL IN THAT.
1745
01:07:06,856 --> 01:07:08,624
WE DON'T NEED TO-- A WATERMELON?
1746
01:07:08,657 --> 01:07:09,825
YEAH. YOU WANNA EAT IT?
1747
01:07:09,859 --> 01:07:11,227
IT'S DELICIOUS AND REFRESHING.
1748
01:07:11,260 --> 01:07:12,428
WE HAVE BASKETBALL COURTS.
1749
01:07:12,461 --> 01:07:14,497
I'M GONNA PUT THIS UP.
1750
01:07:14,530 --> 01:07:16,232
FIRST OF ALL, YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW ME.
1751
01:07:16,265 --> 01:07:17,600
I CAN'T EVEN BELIEVE YOU WOULD DO THIS.
1752
01:07:17,633 --> 01:07:19,402
YEAH, YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HER.
1753
01:07:19,435 --> 01:07:20,436
DO YOU HATE WATERMELON?
1754
01:07:20,469 --> 01:07:21,570
I DON'T EVEN LIKE WATERMELON.
1755
01:07:21,604 --> 01:07:23,305
COME ON, BRANDI. YOU KNOW YOU WANNA GO.
1756
01:07:23,339 --> 01:07:25,841
SO, BECAUSE I'M BLACK AND FRIED CHICKEN IS--
1757
01:07:25,875 --> 01:07:27,309
IS THAT FRIED CHICKEN? COME ON.
1758
01:07:27,343 --> 01:07:28,310
YOU GUYS ARE RIDICULOUS.
1759
01:07:28,344 --> 01:07:29,578
CAN YOU SMELL IT? OH, MY GOD.
1760
01:07:29,612 --> 01:07:30,579
I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU.
1761
01:07:30,613 --> 01:07:32,181
FUCK YOU. YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE.
1762
01:07:32,214 --> 01:07:33,582
COME ON. LET'S--OK. COME BACK.
1763
01:07:33,616 --> 01:07:35,651
YOU KNOW WHAT? NO. FUCK YOU.
1764
01:07:35,684 --> 01:07:37,653
YEAH, WHO ARE YOU TO SAY THAT THIS--
1765
01:07:37,686 --> 01:07:38,621
YOU'RE RIDICULOUS.
1766
01:07:38,654 --> 01:07:40,856
I'LL TEACH YOU HOW TO PLAY THE SPOONS.
1767
01:07:40,890 --> 01:07:42,124
OH, MY GOD. YOU GUYS.
1768
01:07:42,158 --> 01:07:43,325
I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU'RE DOING--
1769
01:07:43,359 --> 01:07:44,860
CAN YOU IMAGINE NOT HAVING TO WORRY
1770
01:07:44,894 --> 01:07:45,661
ABOUT THE POLICE ANYMORE?
1771
01:07:45,694 --> 01:07:47,630
YEAH. I'M GONNA FUCK YOU UP.
1772
01:07:47,663 --> 01:07:48,864
I SWEAR TO GOD.
1773
01:07:48,898 --> 01:07:49,865
I'M GONNA FUCK YOU UP.
1774
01:07:49,899 --> 01:07:50,866
YEAH, WE'RE GONNA GO.
1775
01:07:50,900 --> 01:07:52,268
OF COURSE YOU ARE.
1776
01:07:52,301 --> 01:07:54,203
VIOLENCE. IT'S ALWAYS ABOUT VIOLENCE.
1777
01:07:54,236 --> 01:07:55,204
AFRICA.
1778
01:07:55,237 --> 01:07:58,340
FREE TRIPS TO MOTHER AFRICA.
1779
01:07:58,374 --> 01:08:00,876
JESUS, DID YOU SEE THE SIZE OF HER ASS?
1780
01:08:00,910 --> 01:08:03,546
WE'RE GONNA BE HERE ANOTHER HOUR.
1781
01:08:03,579 --> 01:08:05,915
AFRICA.
1782
01:08:05,948 --> 01:08:09,218
WANT TO GO TO AFRICA?
1783
01:08:09,251 --> 01:08:12,888
ANYBODY? ANYBODY? AFRICA?
1784
01:08:12,922 --> 01:08:14,623
LOOK WHAT I MADE.
1785
01:08:14,657 --> 01:08:16,892
VERY NICE.
1786
01:08:16,926 --> 01:08:19,462
- FREE TRIPS TO AFRICA. - FREE.
1787
01:08:19,495 --> 01:08:21,897
- FREE TRIPS TO AFRICA. - FREE.
1788
01:08:21,931 --> 01:08:24,567
WHO WANTS A FREE TRIP TO AFRICA?
1789
01:08:24,600 --> 01:08:25,935
FREE.
1790
01:08:25,968 --> 01:08:27,570
CHICKEN. GET THE CHICKEN. FREE.
1791
01:08:27,603 --> 01:08:29,505
HOW ARE YOU, SIR?
1792
01:08:29,538 --> 01:08:31,173
MOTHERFUCKERS, HAVE YOU LOST YOUR GODDAMN MIND?
1793
01:08:31,207 --> 01:08:31,907
CAN WE INTEREST YOU IN OUR FREE TRIP TO AFRICA?
1794
01:08:31,941 --> 01:08:33,509
- A FREE TRIP TO AFRICA? - FREE.
1795
01:08:33,542 --> 01:08:34,910
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT?
1796
01:08:34,944 --> 01:08:36,378
ARE YOU GUYS TOGETHER? MA'AM?
1797
01:08:36,412 --> 01:08:37,880
YEAH, THIS IS MY LADY, HOMEY.
1798
01:08:37,913 --> 01:08:38,948
ARE YOU OK, MA'AM?
1799
01:08:38,981 --> 01:08:40,483
HEY, DON'T TALK TO MY LADY, HOMEY.
1800
01:08:40,516 --> 01:08:41,283
- ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? - HEY.
1801
01:08:41,317 --> 01:08:42,918
HEY, DON'T TALK TO MY LADY, HOMEY.
1802
01:08:42,952 --> 01:08:44,420
MOTHERFUCKIN'-- MOTHERFUCKER, RACIST PIECE OF SHIT.
1803
01:08:44,453 --> 01:08:46,355
WHAT THE FUCK IS THE MATTER WITH YOU, DOG?
1804
01:08:46,388 --> 01:08:47,656
CALM DOWN. WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
1805
01:08:47,690 --> 01:08:48,624
TUPAC INSECURE.
1806
01:08:49,758 --> 01:08:50,292
WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN, TRYING TO HELP ME OUT?
1807
01:08:50,326 --> 01:08:51,927
TRYING-- NO, LOOK.
1808
01:08:51,961 --> 01:08:53,028
WE HAVE TONS OF FUN STUFF ON HERE.
1809
01:08:53,062 --> 01:08:54,930
WHY NOT HELP YOUR MOTHERFUCKIN' ASS OUT, HOMEY?
1810
01:08:54,964 --> 01:08:56,532
SEE? THIS IS THE PROBLEM.
1811
01:08:56,565 --> 01:08:57,600
BREATHE.
1812
01:08:57,633 --> 01:08:58,601
ALL RIGHT, EASY.
1813
01:08:58,634 --> 01:08:59,935
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. DUDE.
1814
01:08:59,969 --> 01:09:01,504
DUDE! DUDE!
1815
01:09:01,537 --> 01:09:02,905
HEY. HEY.
1816
01:09:02,938 --> 01:09:03,906
NO, NO, NO.
1817
01:09:03,939 --> 01:09:04,807
DUDE, IT'S A JOKE!
1818
01:09:04,840 --> 01:09:06,642
IT'S A JOKE. LOOK. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU.
1819
01:09:06,675 --> 01:09:07,877
YO. FUCKIN'.
1820
01:09:07,910 --> 01:09:09,378
FUCK-ASS MOTHERFUCKER.
1821
01:09:09,411 --> 01:09:10,880
KILL YOU, MOTHERFUCKER.
1822
01:09:10,913 --> 01:09:11,680
HEY, HEY!
1823
01:09:11,714 --> 01:09:13,649
HEY. LET GO. LET GO.
1824
01:09:13,682 --> 01:09:16,652
SLOW DOWN HERE. COME ON. COME ON. BREAK IT UP.
1825
01:09:16,685 --> 01:09:17,686
BREAK IT UP.
1826
01:09:17,720 --> 01:09:19,688
BREAK IT UP. COME ON.
1827
01:09:19,722 --> 01:09:21,957
[INDISTINCT]
1828
01:09:21,991 --> 01:09:23,559
COME ON, BREAK IT UP.
1829
01:09:23,592 --> 01:09:25,561
COME ON. THAT'S ENOUGH.
1830
01:09:25,594 --> 01:09:26,595
STOP IT!
1831
01:09:26,629 --> 01:09:28,898
[ALL TALKING AT ONCE]
1832
01:09:28,931 --> 01:09:30,499
JUST DO WHAT HE SAYS. COME ON. LET'S GO.
1833
01:09:30,533 --> 01:09:31,433
WHAT THE FUCK YOU TALKING ABOUT,
1834
01:09:31,467 --> 01:09:33,235
- THIS IS A JOKE? - WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?
1835
01:09:33,269 --> 01:09:35,571
STAY OVER THERE. STAY OVER THERE.
1836
01:09:35,604 --> 01:09:37,406
GET BACK. GET BACK.
1837
01:09:37,439 --> 01:09:38,274
WHAT'S GOING ON?
1838
01:09:39,141 --> 01:09:40,075
WE'RE DOING A HIDDEN CAMERA SHOW.
1839
01:09:40,109 --> 01:09:40,843
WE'RE DOING A FUCKING HIDDEN CAMERA THING.
1840
01:09:40,876 --> 01:09:43,979
DUDE, IT'S-- IT'S NOT SERIOUS.
1841
01:09:44,013 --> 01:09:45,681
YOU GOT A PERMIT TO BE HERE?
1842
01:09:45,714 --> 01:09:46,448
YOU GOT A FILM PERMIT?
1843
01:09:46,482 --> 01:09:48,317
NO, WE DON'T HAVE A FILM PERMIT.
1844
01:09:48,350 --> 01:09:49,051
COME ON.
1845
01:09:49,084 --> 01:09:50,920
YOU DON'T HAVE A FILM PERMIT?
1846
01:09:50,953 --> 01:09:51,887
NO.
1847
01:09:51,921 --> 01:09:52,922
IT'S ALL A JOKE, DUDE.
1848
01:09:52,955 --> 01:09:54,523
BUT IT'S NOT FUCKIN' FUNNY.
1849
01:09:54,557 --> 01:09:56,525
NO, NO. DUDE, COME ON.
1850
01:09:56,559 --> 01:09:58,360
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
1851
01:09:58,394 --> 01:09:59,461
DUDE! DUDE! [INDISTINCT] MOTHERFUCKER.
1852
01:09:59,495 --> 01:10:02,665
I NEED BACKUP. JESUS, MARY.
1853
01:10:11,640 --> 01:10:13,008
[SQUEAKING]
1854
01:10:13,042 --> 01:10:14,276
YOU KNOW, THIS AIN'T GONNA WORK
1855
01:10:14,310 --> 01:10:15,945
IF THE DICK DON'T TASTE GOOD.
1856
01:10:15,978 --> 01:10:17,580
MUST YOU USE YOUR FUCKIN' FINGER, MAN?
1857
01:10:17,613 --> 01:10:18,614
SHUT UP, MAN.
1858
01:10:18,647 --> 01:10:19,615
NASTY MOTHERFUCKER. SHH, SHH.
1859
01:10:19,648 --> 01:10:22,451
DID YOU REALLY HAVE TO USE YOUR FINGER, NICK?
1860
01:10:22,484 --> 01:10:23,419
SHUT UP.
1861
01:10:23,452 --> 01:10:24,954
YOU GOT A 1/2-INCH SPOT ON THE MOTHERFUCKER.
1862
01:10:24,987 --> 01:10:26,522
YOU NASTY. HA HA!
1863
01:10:26,555 --> 01:10:27,890
THIS NIGGA IS GAY.
1864
01:10:27,923 --> 01:10:28,924
I AIN'T GAY.
1865
01:10:28,958 --> 01:10:30,426
YOUR DADDY'S HUSBAND IS GAY.
1866
01:10:30,459 --> 01:10:31,627
[LAUGHING] COME ON.
1867
01:10:31,660 --> 01:10:32,895
I SEE WHY YOUR WOMAN LEFT YOU.
1868
01:10:32,928 --> 01:10:34,430
YOU CAN'T ATTRACT A MOUSE.
1869
01:10:34,463 --> 01:10:36,532
GODDAMN. YOU SMELL THAT? COME ON.
1870
01:10:36,565 --> 01:10:37,967
YOU SMELL THAT?
1871
01:10:38,000 --> 01:10:39,468
COME ON, MAN. PUT IT IN THERE FURTHER. THAT'S ALL THE DICK YOU GOT?
1872
01:10:39,501 --> 01:10:42,438
WHAT'S THAT YELLOW SHIT DRIPPING OUT OF THERE BEFORE THE FUCKING CHEESE?
1873
01:10:42,471 --> 01:10:44,039
HEY, HE GONNA BE THE FIRST MALE WITH A YEAST INFECTION.
1874
01:10:44,073 --> 01:10:46,008
[ALL LAUGHING]
1875
01:10:46,041 --> 01:10:46,709
OH! OH, SHIT!
1876
01:10:46,742 --> 01:10:51,013
[ALL LAUGHING AND CHATTERING]
1877
01:10:54,717 --> 01:10:55,951
YOU ALL CHASE THAT.
1878
01:10:55,985 --> 01:10:57,620
CHASE THAT CREAM.
1879
01:10:57,653 --> 01:10:58,921
[LAUGHING]
1880
01:10:58,954 --> 01:10:59,822
GET THAT SHIT.
1881
01:10:59,855 --> 01:11:02,458
YOU AIN'T NEVER HAD NOTHIN' LIKE THIS.
1882
01:11:02,491 --> 01:11:04,026
MADE A DATE RIGHT NOW.
1883
01:11:04,059 --> 01:11:05,060
[LAUGHING]
1884
01:11:06,061 --> 01:11:08,897
YOU GOT THE LITTLEST DICK OUT OF EVERYBODY.
1885
01:11:08,931 --> 01:11:09,999
AAH!
1886
01:11:10,032 --> 01:11:10,933
[LAUGHING]
1887
01:11:10,966 --> 01:11:12,001
UHH!
1888
01:11:12,034 --> 01:11:15,537
[INDISTINCT]
1889
01:11:15,571 --> 01:11:17,539
IT'S AN EXPERIENCE.
1890
01:11:17,573 --> 01:11:19,008
HEY. HEY, HEY, HEY.
1891
01:11:19,041 --> 01:11:20,075
COME ON. COME OVER HERE.
1892
01:11:20,109 --> 01:11:21,076
COME ON OVER HERE.
1893
01:11:21,110 --> 01:11:24,013
IS HE EATING THE CHEESE OR SUCKING YOUR DICK?
1894
01:11:24,046 --> 01:11:24,980
[LAUGHING]
1895
01:11:25,014 --> 01:11:27,082
HE GOT CHEESE ALL OVER...
1896
01:11:27,116 --> 01:11:28,951
COME ON.
1897
01:11:28,984 --> 01:11:31,020
HE DOESN'T EVEN WORK FOR HIS SHIT.
1898
01:11:31,053 --> 01:11:32,021
[LAUGHING]
1899
01:11:32,054 --> 01:11:33,022
OH, SHIT.
1900
01:11:33,055 --> 01:11:35,124
HE MUST HAVE BEEN...
1901
01:11:35,157 --> 01:11:37,092
[GASPS]
1902
01:11:37,126 --> 01:11:38,093
[LAUGHING]
1903
01:11:38,127 --> 01:11:40,095
GET THAT SHIT, NIGGA.
1904
01:11:40,129 --> 01:11:40,996
SHH. HE'S SCARED NOW.
1905
01:11:41,030 --> 01:11:43,532
COME ON, COME ON. SHH, SHH, SHH, SHH.
1906
01:11:43,565 --> 01:11:45,701
NEED A BEAR TRAP. [GIGGLING]
1907
01:11:45,734 --> 01:11:47,036
OOH, OOH, OOH,
1908
01:11:47,069 --> 01:11:48,671
GOT CHEESE ALL OVER MY FACE.
1909
01:11:48,704 --> 01:11:49,638
OH, SHIT.
1910
01:11:49,672 --> 01:11:50,639
COME ON.
1911
01:11:50,673 --> 01:11:54,109
OOH, THERE HE GO.
1912
01:11:54,143 --> 01:11:56,045
AAH!
1913
01:11:56,078 --> 01:11:56,979
[ALL SCREAMING]
1914
01:11:57,012 --> 01:11:59,148
DUDE! OOH!
1915
01:11:59,181 --> 01:12:00,549
[LAUGHING]
1916
01:12:00,582 --> 01:12:02,918
GET IT OFF. GET THIS SHIT OFF!
1917
01:12:02,951 --> 01:12:07,523
GET IT OFF! GET IT--GET IT OFF!
1918
01:12:07,556 --> 01:12:11,660
YOU TOUCH THE MOTHERFUCKER. YOU GONNA GET IT.
1919
01:12:11,694 --> 01:12:13,996
UHH! SHIT!
1920
01:12:14,029 --> 01:12:18,000
[SHOUTING AND LAUGHING]
1921
01:12:18,033 --> 01:12:19,568
NO MORE, MAN.
1922
01:12:19,601 --> 01:12:22,938
[LAUGHING AND HOOTING]
1923
01:12:22,971 --> 01:12:24,106
OOH!
1924
01:12:24,139 --> 01:12:25,040
OOH!
1925
01:12:25,074 --> 01:12:27,009
[LAUGHING]
1926
01:12:28,711 --> 01:12:32,014
[MIDDLE EASTERN MUSIC PLAYING]
1927
01:12:36,051 --> 01:12:39,054
[GROWLING]
1928
01:12:42,191 --> 01:12:44,059
[GOAT BLEATING]
1929
01:13:03,545 --> 01:13:05,447
U.S. GOVERNMENT.
1930
01:13:05,481 --> 01:13:08,083
U.S. GOVERNMENT. STAY BACK, PLEASE.
1931
01:13:08,117 --> 01:13:10,185
GIFT. GIFT. TOFA, TOFA FOR YOU.
1932
01:13:10,219 --> 01:13:12,721
HE'S THEIR PROBLEM NOW.
1933
01:13:12,755 --> 01:13:14,056
OH, NO, NO, NO, NOT SAND PEOPLE.
1934
01:13:14,089 --> 01:13:17,126
OH, PLEASE, NOT ARABS. THEY SMELL SO BAD!
1935
01:13:17,159 --> 01:13:18,160
COME ON, PLEASE!
1936
01:13:18,193 --> 01:13:21,130
MY JEW TAXES PAY YOUR SALARIES! PLEASE DON'T GO!
1937
01:13:21,163 --> 01:13:26,735
OH, YOU GUYS STINK SO BAD, PLEASE. THIS IS LIKE DETROIT.
1938
01:13:26,769 --> 01:13:28,170
[SPEAKING ARABIC]
1939
01:13:28,203 --> 01:13:29,972
OH, PLEASE DON'T COME NEAR ME.
1940
01:13:30,005 --> 01:13:31,006
OH, I HATE THE SMELL.
1941
01:13:32,307 --> 01:13:33,175
I CAN BRING YOU CHILDREN. I CAN TOTALLY BRING YOU CHILDREN.
1942
01:13:33,208 --> 01:13:34,109
DEODORANT.
1943
01:13:35,010 --> 01:13:36,945
TOWELS ARE FOR WASHING, NOT FOR WEARING.
1944
01:13:36,979 --> 01:13:40,215
OH, I HATE ARABS SO MUCH!
1945
01:13:40,249 --> 01:13:41,617
NO!
1946
01:13:41,650 --> 01:13:43,118
NO!
1947
01:13:43,152 --> 01:13:44,686
[SHOUTING]
1948
01:13:44,720 --> 01:13:47,089
NO, NO, NO, IT'S GONNA TOUCH.
1949
01:13:47,122 --> 01:13:48,090
I KNOW WHERE JEWS ARE.
1950
01:13:48,123 --> 01:13:50,125
I CAN FIND YOU JEWS.
1951
01:13:50,159 --> 01:13:51,160
[ALL SHOUTING]
1952
01:13:51,193 --> 01:13:52,594
[SPEAKING ARABIC]
1953
01:13:52,628 --> 01:13:55,030
ALL RIGHT, NO ONE UNDERSTANDS YOU.
1954
01:13:55,063 --> 01:13:56,999
ARE THOSE EVEN WORDS?
1955
01:13:57,032 --> 01:13:58,167
STAND UP.
1956
01:13:58,200 --> 01:13:59,701
YOU SMELL LIKE A BLACK NIGHTCLUB.
1957
01:13:59,735 --> 01:14:00,736
YOUR BEARDS ARE HORRIBLE!
1958
01:14:01,703 --> 01:14:04,106
ARE YOU ONE OF THEM FEMALES OR THE MALES?
1959
01:14:04,139 --> 01:14:07,943
[SPEAKING ARABIC]
1960
01:14:07,976 --> 01:14:08,977
YOU STINK WHEN YOU TALK SO MUCH.
1961
01:14:09,011 --> 01:14:13,048
PLEASE, PUT DOWN THE GUNS AND PICK UP SOME SOAP.
1962
01:14:13,081 --> 01:14:14,249
NO! [COCKS WEAPON]
1963
01:14:14,283 --> 01:14:20,189
[ULULATING] NOOOO!
1964
01:14:25,194 --> 01:14:26,128
HMM...
1965
01:14:26,161 --> 01:14:27,963
HMM?
1966
01:14:27,996 --> 01:14:31,133
MMM...OHH...
1967
01:14:31,166 --> 01:14:32,601
[ALL CLAMORING]
1968
01:14:32,634 --> 01:14:35,070
LINDSAY, CAN WE SHOOT YOU?
1969
01:14:35,103 --> 01:14:35,971
SURE.
1970
01:14:36,004 --> 01:14:39,174
[ALL CHATTERING]
1971
01:14:39,208 --> 01:14:40,142
THIS WAY! THIS WAY!
1972
01:14:40,175 --> 01:14:41,143
OVER HERE!
1973
01:14:41,176 --> 01:14:42,744
AH, PERFECT!
1974
01:14:42,778 --> 01:14:44,146
OK, YOU GUYS GOT YOUR SHOT.
1975
01:14:44,179 --> 01:14:45,147
CAN I SHOOT YOU?
1976
01:14:45,180 --> 01:14:47,516
YEAH, SURE, HERE.
1977
01:14:54,156 --> 01:14:55,557
KONICHIWA, BITCH.
1978
01:14:55,591 --> 01:14:57,192
REALLY?
1979
01:15:04,266 --> 01:15:08,103
♪ I WANT YOU TO KNOW
1980
01:15:09,671 --> 01:15:13,775
♪ I'M GONNA GET...
1981
01:15:13,809 --> 01:15:16,245
WE'RE OUT...WRAP.
1982
01:15:16,278 --> 01:15:17,980
OK, HERE WE GO.
1983
01:15:18,013 --> 01:15:19,181
IT'S HIS LOVE THAT BREAKS THE TABLE.
1984
01:15:19,214 --> 01:15:23,252
AND THEN HE PUNCHES HERE IN HER SNATCH WITH...SORRY.
1985
01:15:23,285 --> 01:15:24,286
[LAUGHING]
1986
01:15:24,987 --> 01:15:26,288
YOU KNOW YOU DON'T WANT TO SAY IT--
1987
01:15:26,321 --> 01:15:29,291
SLANT-EYED POONTANG, SLANT-EYED POONTANG, SLANT-EYED POONTANG.
1988
01:15:29,324 --> 01:15:30,125
HA HA HA HA HA!
1989
01:15:30,158 --> 01:15:32,261
THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME THAT LINE.
1990
01:15:32,294 --> 01:15:33,662
ENJOY IT. HA HA HA!
1991
01:15:33,695 --> 01:15:35,998
THANK GOD. IN CASE YOU MISSED IT.
1992
01:15:36,031 --> 01:15:39,167
[INDISTINCT SONG]
1993
01:15:39,201 --> 01:15:41,136
THERE'S ALL KINDS OF SEX.
1994
01:15:41,169 --> 01:15:43,205
WITH COCKY, BEARS AND CUBS,
1995
01:15:43,238 --> 01:15:46,208
ROLE PLAY, S&M, LEATHER.
1996
01:15:46,241 --> 01:15:50,679
HAND JOBS, BLOW JOBS, ALL FOURS. ANAL SEX.
1997
01:15:50,712 --> 01:15:51,613
LET'S DO IT ONE MORE TIME.
1998
01:15:53,081 --> 01:15:54,216
BUT DON'T DO THE BEARS AND CUBS. I DON'T LIKE THAT.
1999
01:15:54,249 --> 01:15:56,218
I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT IS.
2000
01:15:56,251 --> 01:15:57,352
[LAUGHTER]
2001
01:15:57,386 --> 01:16:01,023
♪ COME ON AND DON'T GET IN DANGER ♪
2002
01:16:01,056 --> 01:16:03,225
♪ I WON'T LET YOU
2003
01:16:03,258 --> 01:16:05,294
GO AHEAD...
2004
01:16:05,327 --> 01:16:08,096
BLOW 'EM...
2005
01:16:08,130 --> 01:16:09,364
AWAY.
2006
01:16:09,398 --> 01:16:12,301
[BUZZING]
2007
01:16:12,334 --> 01:16:13,268
THAT'S A CUT.
2008
01:16:14,570 --> 01:16:17,005
TRY IT AGAIN. THERE WAS A FUCKIN' CHAINSAW IN THE BACKGROUND.
2009
01:16:17,039 --> 01:16:19,308
WHAT WAS THAT, GUYS? WRONG MOVIE.
2010
01:16:25,213 --> 01:16:27,983
I WOULD'VE MADE UP A REAL MOTHERFUCKIN' NIGGA,
2011
01:16:28,016 --> 01:16:28,817
YOU WOULD HAVE HEARD ME.
2012
01:16:28,850 --> 01:16:30,419
YOU HEARD ME, MOTHERFUCKER BITCH?
2013
01:16:30,452 --> 01:16:32,287
FUCK, KICK YOU IN THE STREET.
2014
01:16:32,321 --> 01:16:34,189
IN THE STREET, NIGGA! YEAH, YEAH!
2015
01:16:34,222 --> 01:16:36,258
GET FUCKED IN THE ASS.
2016
01:16:36,291 --> 01:16:37,159
OH--
2017
01:16:37,192 --> 01:16:37,859
I MEAN, NO, I MEAN--
2018
01:16:37,893 --> 01:16:39,261
NOT REALLY, BUT YOU KNOW.
2019
01:16:39,294 --> 01:16:41,196
I D--
2020
01:16:41,229 --> 01:16:42,497
NIGGA, YOU ARE SOME OTHER TYPE OF SHIT.
2021
01:16:42,531 --> 01:16:46,134
BUT WHAT I'M SAYIN' IS, I GET FUCKED IN THE ASS, BUT I LIKE IT.
2022
01:16:46,168 --> 01:16:48,270
NIGGA, I'M PUTTING MYSELF IN TIME-OUT.
2023
01:16:48,303 --> 01:16:50,138
SHUT THE FUCK UP!
2024
01:16:50,172 --> 01:16:51,206
[LAUGHING]
2025
01:16:51,239 --> 01:16:53,709
WHAT THE--HA HA HA!
2026
01:17:00,382 --> 01:17:04,286
AS WE OFTEN HEAR IN THE INDUSTRY, YOU KNOW, UH...
2027
01:17:04,319 --> 01:17:09,358
ROLES DRY UP WITH YOUR VAJOOSH, YOUR PUSS...
2028
01:17:09,391 --> 01:17:10,392
YOUR PUSSY.
2029
01:17:11,326 --> 01:17:12,361
I'M SORRY, I HAVE TROUBLE SAYING THE WORD
2030
01:17:12,394 --> 01:17:14,296
PUSSY, PUSSY, PUSSY!
2031
01:17:14,329 --> 01:17:16,098
OK, SORRY. OK.
2032
01:17:16,131 --> 01:17:17,265
[LAUGHING]
2033
01:17:17,299 --> 01:17:19,167
ALL RIGHT.
2034
01:17:19,201 --> 01:17:20,302
I QUIT.
2035
01:17:20,335 --> 01:17:21,303
[LAUGHING]
2036
01:17:21,336 --> 01:17:22,337
THE--I--
2037
01:17:22,371 --> 01:17:24,306
YOU KNOW, UH, MAYBE, YOU KNOW,
2038
01:17:24,339 --> 01:17:27,075
WE COULD GET A JOB AT LIKE A PORN SHOP OR SOMETHING.
2039
01:17:27,109 --> 01:17:28,410
YOU KNOW, LIKE, YOU KNOW, THIS WHOLE THING.
2040
01:17:28,443 --> 01:17:32,314
LIKE I DON'T WANT TO BE SUBSERVIENT TO BOB'S FUCKIN' PLAYLIST,
2041
01:17:32,347 --> 01:17:35,083
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN'?
2042
01:17:37,352 --> 01:17:41,490
I'LL BE BACK WHEN MY LITTLE BLUE PILL KICKS IN. OK?
2043
01:17:41,523 --> 01:17:44,126
HANG ON.
2044
01:17:46,361 --> 01:17:49,297
[GIGGLING]
2045
01:17:53,368 --> 01:17:54,436
ISN'T IT DELICIOUS?
2046
01:17:54,469 --> 01:17:57,372
MAN, YOU LOOK JUST LIKE MARILYN MONROE.
2047
01:17:57,406 --> 01:17:59,341
[CHATTER AND LAUGHTER]
2048
01:17:59,374 --> 01:18:00,342
WAIT...
2049
01:18:00,375 --> 01:18:01,209
ACTION!
2050
01:18:02,077 --> 01:18:04,212
YOU FEEL THE BREEZE FROM THE SUBWAY?
2051
01:18:04,246 --> 01:18:05,313
UH-HUH.
2052
01:18:05,347 --> 01:18:06,448
ISN'T IT DELICIOUS?
2053
01:18:06,481 --> 01:18:10,352
MAN, YOU LOOK JUST LIKE MARILYN MONROE ON THAT GRATE.
2054
01:18:10,385 --> 01:18:14,056
THE GRATE AGAIN.
2055
01:18:14,089 --> 01:18:16,992
WE BOTH FUCKED THAT ONE UP.
2056
01:18:20,128 --> 01:18:22,097
SHE HAS NO KIND OF...
2057
01:18:22,130 --> 01:18:25,333
HUH? HELLO?
2058
01:18:25,367 --> 01:18:28,437
HEY, HEY!
2059
01:18:28,470 --> 01:18:32,040
BRO, WHAT THE FUCK?
2060
01:18:32,074 --> 01:18:36,511
WHAT ARE YOU, A PROSTHETICS DEALER?
2061
01:18:36,545 --> 01:18:39,381
FUCK, WAS THAT THE GUY FROM SHAMWOW?
2062
01:18:39,414 --> 01:18:41,283
[LAUGHTER]
2063
01:18:45,554 --> 01:18:49,491
COME ON, FEED 'EM THE MATZO BREI...
2064
01:18:49,524 --> 01:18:51,393
COME ON.
2065
01:18:51,426 --> 01:18:52,394
COME ON, LITTLE JEWESS.
2066
01:18:52,427 --> 01:18:54,262
THAT'S RIGHT.
2067
01:18:54,296 --> 01:18:57,399
I FEEL SORRY FOR YOU. YOU'RE PATHETIC.
2068
01:18:57,432 --> 01:18:59,401
WHY AM I PATHETIC?
2069
01:18:59,434 --> 01:19:00,435
YOU'RE A NUTCASE.
2070
01:19:01,169 --> 01:19:02,037
I'M TRYING TO DO SOMETHING PROACTIVE.
2071
01:19:02,070 --> 01:19:04,306
YOU'RE A NUTCASE.
2072
01:19:04,506 --> 01:19:05,407
WHAT THE--
2073
01:19:05,440 --> 01:19:06,408
THEY GOT THE DOLLAR!
2074
01:19:06,441 --> 01:19:08,443
THEY GOT THE FUCKIN' DOLLAR.
2075
01:19:08,477 --> 01:19:11,446
THOSE CRAFTY MOTHERFUCKERS.
2076
01:19:13,482 --> 01:19:17,786
THEY FUCKING GOT THE DOLLAR. GODDAMN IT!
2077
01:19:21,356 --> 01:19:23,391
I GOT NOTHIN'.
2078
01:19:23,425 --> 01:19:25,293
[LAUGHTER]
2079
01:19:25,327 --> 01:19:26,461
CUT! CUT!
2080
01:19:26,495 --> 01:19:27,496
AND SCENE.
2081
01:19:27,529 --> 01:19:32,167
♪ THIS REVOLUTION STARTS WHEN YOU'RE MOVIN' ♪
2082
01:19:32,200 --> 01:19:36,371
♪ DON'T WANNA STEP TO ME UNLESS YOU PLAN ON LOSIN' ♪
2083
01:19:36,404 --> 01:19:40,509
♪ NOT HERE TO BRAG, NOT HERE FOR THRILLS ♪
2084
01:19:40,542 --> 01:19:44,045
♪ I'M HERE TO BATTLE, BABY, I DANCE TO KILL ♪
2085
01:19:44,079 --> 01:19:46,448
♪ FALL IN, SHAKIN' LIKE A LEAF ♪
2086
01:19:46,481 --> 01:19:51,353
♪ BUCKLIN' AT THE KNEES, STOP DRAGGING YOUR FEET ♪
2087
01:19:51,386 --> 01:19:52,420
♪ TIME TO GO ALL IN
2088
01:19:52,454 --> 01:19:57,192
♪ TIME FOR STANDING TALL, MOVE TO KILL 'EM ALL ♪
2089
01:19:57,225 --> 01:19:59,427
♪ NO WIN, LOSE, OR DRAW
2090
01:19:59,461 --> 01:20:01,530
♪ GET YOUR BACK OFF THE WALL
2091
01:20:01,563 --> 01:20:03,465
♪ GET YOUR BACK OFF THE WALL ♪
2092
01:20:03,498 --> 01:20:06,034
♪ GET YOUR BACK OFF THE WALL
2093
01:20:06,067 --> 01:20:07,469
♪ GET YOUR BACK OFF THE WALL ♪
2094
01:20:07,502 --> 01:20:11,439
♪ GET YOUR, GET YOUR, GET YOUR BACK, GET YOUR BACK OFF THE WALL ♪
2095
01:20:11,473 --> 01:20:16,444
♪ GET YOUR, GET YOUR, GET YOUR BACK, GET YOUR BACK OFF THE WALL ♪
2096
01:20:16,478 --> 01:20:18,480
♪ WE DIG THEM TRENCHES
2097
01:20:18,513 --> 01:20:20,515
♪ SO THEY BE TRIPPIN'
2098
01:20:20,549 --> 01:20:22,384
♪ I'M ON THE FRONT LINES
2099
01:20:22,417 --> 01:20:24,419
♪ I SEEN 'EM FLINCHIN'
2100
01:20:24,452 --> 01:20:28,190
♪ ANNIHILATION OF THE ENEMY ♪
2101
01:20:28,223 --> 01:20:32,427
♪ WRATH POURS DOWN WHEN I MOVE MY FEET ♪
2102
01:20:32,460 --> 01:20:35,230
♪ ALL MY NEW RECRUITS
2103
01:20:35,263 --> 01:20:37,332
♪ NOW YOU'RE IN MY TROOP
2104
01:20:37,365 --> 01:20:39,501
♪ SHAKE 'EM IN THEIR BOOTS
2105
01:20:39,534 --> 01:20:41,136
♪ TIME TO GO ALL IN
2106
01:20:41,169 --> 01:20:43,238
♪ THEY CAN SCRATCH AND CLAW
2107
01:20:43,271 --> 01:20:44,573
♪ WE AIN'T BACKIN' OFF
2108
01:20:44,606 --> 01:20:46,508
♪ TIME TO LAY DOWN THE LAW
2109
01:20:46,541 --> 01:20:48,376
♪ GET YOUR BACK OFF THE WALL ♪
2110
01:20:48,410 --> 01:20:50,478
♪ GET YOUR BACK OFF THE WALL, GET YOUR BACK OFF THE WALL ♪
2111
01:20:50,512 --> 01:20:55,617
♪ GET YOUR BACK OFF THE WALL, GET YOUR BACK OFF THE WALL ♪
2112
01:20:55,650 --> 01:20:59,487
♪ GET YOUR, GET YOUR BACK, GET YOUR BACK OFF THE WALL ♪
2113
01:20:59,521 --> 01:21:03,491
♪ GET YOUR, GET YOUR BACK, GET YOUR BACK OFF THE WALL ♪
2114
01:21:03,525 --> 01:21:07,529
♪ GET YOUR BACK OFF THE WALL, YOU GET YOUR BACK OFF THE WALL ♪
2115
01:21:07,562 --> 01:21:12,400
♪ GET YOUR BACK OFF THE WALL, WALL, WALL ♪
2116
01:21:12,434 --> 01:21:15,604
♪ GET YOUR BACK OFF THE WALL
2117
01:21:15,637 --> 01:21:19,441
♪ YOU GET, YOU GET YOUR, GET YOUR BACK OFF THE WALL ♪
2118
01:21:19,474 --> 01:21:23,545
♪ GET YOUR BACK OFF THE WALL, GET YOUR BACK OFF THE WALL ♪
2119
01:21:23,578 --> 01:21:27,549
♪ GET YOUR BACK OFF THE WALL, GET YOUR BACK OFF THE WALL ♪
2120
01:21:27,582 --> 01:21:32,087
♪ GET YOUR, GET YOUR BACK, GET YOUR BACK OFF THE WALL ♪
2121
01:21:32,120 --> 01:21:34,222
♪ GET YOUR, GET YOUR BACK
2122
01:21:34,256 --> 01:21:36,591
♪ GET YOUR BACK OFF THE WALL
2123
01:21:36,625 --> 01:21:38,460
♪ WE DIG THEM TRENCHES
2124
01:21:38,493 --> 01:21:40,629
♪ SO THEY BE TRIPPIN'
2125
01:21:40,662 --> 01:21:42,430
♪ I'M ON THE FRONT LINES
2126
01:21:42,464 --> 01:21:44,532
♪ I SEEN THEM FLINCHIN'
2127
01:21:44,566 --> 01:21:48,303
♪ ANNIHILATION OF THE ENEMY ♪
2128
01:21:48,336 --> 01:21:53,041
♪ WRATH POURS DOWN WHEN I MOVE MY FEET ♪
2129
01:21:53,074 --> 01:21:55,410
♪ ALL MY NEW RECRUITS
2130
01:21:55,443 --> 01:21:57,445
♪ NOW YOU'RE IN MY TROOP
2131
01:21:57,479 --> 01:21:59,514
♪ SHAKE 'EM IN THEIR BOOTS
2132
01:21:59,547 --> 01:22:01,316
♪ TIME TO GO ALL IN
2133
01:22:01,349 --> 01:22:03,351
♪ THEY CAN SCRATCH AND CLAW
2134
01:22:03,385 --> 01:22:05,287
♪ WE AIN'T BACKIN' OFF
2135
01:22:05,320 --> 01:22:07,055
♪ TIME TO LAY DOWN THE LAW
2136
01:22:07,088 --> 01:22:08,323
♪ GET YOUR BACK OFF THE WALL
2137
01:22:08,356 --> 01:22:10,558
♪ GET YOUR BACK OFF THE WALL, GET YOUR BACK OFF THE WALL ♪
2138
01:22:10,592 --> 01:22:16,064
♪ GET YOUR BACK OFF THE WALL, GET YOUR BACK OFF THE WALL ♪
2139
01:22:16,097 --> 01:22:19,601
♪ GET YOUR, GET YOUR BACK, GET YOUR BACK OFF THE WALL ♪
2140
01:22:19,634 --> 01:22:23,571
♪ GET YOUR, GET YOUR BACK, GET YOUR BACK OFF THE WALL ♪
2141
01:22:23,605 --> 01:22:27,542
♪ GET YOUR BACK OFF THE WALL, YOU GET YOUR BACK OFF THE WALL ♪
2142
01:22:27,575 --> 01:22:29,511
♪ GET YOUR BACK OFF THE WALL ♪
2143
01:22:29,544 --> 01:22:33,114
♪ GET YOUR BACK OFF THE WALL, WALL, WALL ♪
2144
01:22:33,148 --> 01:22:35,550
♪ GET YOUR BACK OFF THE WALL
2145
01:22:35,583 --> 01:22:39,521
♪ GET YOUR, GET YOUR BACK, GET YOUR BACK OFF THE WALL ♪
2146
01:22:39,554 --> 01:22:43,558
♪ GET YOUR BACK OFF THE WALL, GET YOUR BACK OFF THE WALL ♪
2147
01:22:43,591 --> 01:22:46,361
♪ GET YOUR BACK OFF THE WALL ♪
2148
01:22:46,394 --> 01:22:47,529
♪ GET YOUR BACK OFF THE WALL, GET YOUR BACK OFF THE WALL ♪
2149
01:22:48,797 --> 01:22:49,698
♪ GET YOUR BACK OFF THE WALL, GET YOUR BACK OFF THE WALL ♪
2150
01:22:49,731 --> 01:22:52,167
♪ GET YOUR, GET YOUR BACK OFF THE WALL ♪
2151
01:22:52,200 --> 01:22:53,635
♪ GET YOUR, GET YOUR BACK
2152
01:22:53,668 --> 01:22:56,304
♪ GET YOUR BACK OFF THE WALL
2153
01:22:56,338 --> 01:22:57,605
♪ GET YOUR, GET YOUR BACK
2154
01:22:57,639 --> 01:23:00,241
♪ GET YOUR BACK OFF THE WALL
2155
01:23:00,275 --> 01:23:01,476
♪ GET YOUR, GET YOUR
2156
01:23:01,509 --> 01:23:05,113
♪ GET YOUR BACK OFF THE WALL
2157
01:23:05,146 --> 01:23:06,514
♪ GET YOUR, GET YOUR
2158
01:23:06,548 --> 01:23:08,516
♪ GET YOUR BACK OFF THE WALL
2159
01:23:08,550 --> 01:23:10,151
♪ GET YOUR, GET YOUR BACK
2160
01:23:10,185 --> 01:23:14,189
♪ GET YOUR BACK OFF THE WALL
2161
01:23:19,294 --> 01:23:24,032
♪ NO WIN, LOSE, OR DRAW
2162
01:23:27,435 --> 01:23:32,540
♪ NO WIN, LOSE, OR DRAW
150148
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