Original subtitles

we're going to Washington

DC oh yeah

are we going to the White House

yes potentially

you're not winding me up no

I'm not winding you up are we going to the White House

I have reached out to Michelle Obama's people

are we going to the White House

I've spoken to Megan McCain

who's John McCain's daughter

is that that's saying to me we are going

well next time I'll just have you handle it all

well you said to me

I didn't want I have no idea

here we go oh yeah

you don't you said to me

we're going to the White House

I said do you want to go to the White House

and you said I would love to go to the White House

yeah I'll be pissed off if we don't make it there

I was born in the White House

can you believe it

I promise I won't harm any animals there

ha ha

ha ha ha

my name is Jack Osborne and this is my dad

Ozzy heavy metal god

are you ready Prince of darkness

and surprisingly enough

history nerd as the old saying goes

like father like son

so my dad and I are doing something

we've always wanted to do

we're hitting the road just the two of us

and a bucket list of places

and things we've only ever read about in books

oh my god

this is amazing

all seen on TV and the web

do you have your knife yes

civil days we might need it

there are no roadies no tour buses

what the fuck is this no boundaries

oh

welcome to Ozzy and Jack's world detour

let's rock and roll

my dad and I were on the road to Washington

DC and the White House hopefully

but since that road wasn't quite fully paved yet

I thought

we take a little detour to something presidential

so I got a question for you yes

are we still going to the White House

yeah but first we're going to meet the president

what president of what

we're gonna go meet presidents plural

it's statues of all the presidents heads

what does it mean

so there was this park called President Park

and it had the statues of all the presidents

but the park ended up closing down

so this guy got hired to remove the heads

and then destroy them

but he felt bad destroying all the presidents

so he kept them on his property

and you can go check it out

so this place can get really muddy

don't worry about it I brought along some boots

but you gotta live with me Jack

you've got this habit of telling me partial truth

I tell you as much as I know at the time

no when did you have a brain flash

that you had to have rubber boots

well I spoke to the guy this morning

he said oh

it's been raining why didn't you tell me this morning

I was living clothes on I mean

I'm the Prince of darkness wearing water boots

we got black ones for you

so yeah

I look like a freak with these haha

oh there they are

where are the heads

can you see the white heads right there

oh I get it now

wow

that's nuts

I thought I lost little heads

I don't want them in the garden

I think we should buy the George W Bush Darling

I bought you a gift look at all these heads

this is hilarious

Teddy Roosevelt you got a what name

Ted Ed he's now Eddie Roosevelt

we're like farmers very Prince of darkness

let's go get our presidents on

let's see what you name there's Roosevelt

that's Reagan Kennedy

Ozzy

it's a bit over the top isn't it

how many prisoners are there 44

yeah there ain't 44 prisoners here

yeah there are

let's see fact No. 1

Washington did get a what

Washington's teeth weren't wooden what

contrary to popular belief

the country's first president had dentures made of gold

ivory lead and animal teeth

animals are off

do you think they could have used primates teeth

like a monkey yeah

what other animal have teeth like humans

if you start eating banana bananas all day long

these are the money presidents

oh yes

we got George Washington's the one dollar Bill

Andrew Jackson is on the 20 dollar Bill

yeah Abraham Lincoln is on the five dollar Bill

okay and look

they're starting to redo him

you see how he's been like touched

up what are they gonna do with him

uh

so the guy that owns them now

he wants to redo them

and have them put in another park

what the fucking point is

it's good for kids

a little historical stuff for the kids

if I were a kid I'd be scared

this is so amazing you see Jimmy Carter right there

Carter is one of the only presidents

to ever admit having seen a UFO

what was he smoking

that's all I'm smoking that sweet Georgia tea

you're gonna be able to relate to this

so Andrew Jackson who's on the 20 dollar Bill yeah

he taught his parrot to curse and when he died

they had to remove the parrot from the funeral

because all he was doing was no you you

I had a a minor bird one time called Fred

and he would curse all day long

I didn't have to teach you just picked it up we go

how you doing Fred

you go off why'd you name your bird Fred

it's better than Bill okay

I'm calling now I'm cold I'm gonna go back to the car

but I gotta change these boots okay

right I'm crippling me

so listen like

is it all possible

for us to be able to come to the White House tomorrow

no it's just rubbing my foot ankle and my okay

I mean listen I

I totally understand that this is a tall ass

but like crippling my boots are killing me

alright perfect

bye I need to get a band over my ankles

as we made our way to Washington DC

I knew my dad was anxious to get to the White House

but since we still hadn't received a definitive yes

I thought that taking

him to the International Spy Museum

would make him happy

since he's such a big fan of World War 2

and espionage history Spy Museum should be cool yeah

I'm excited to see it we were gonna take you on that

the Christian tour of DC um

but they were a little busy

are you joking yes of course I'm joking

hello hi Jack

nice to meet you hi

hi Helsey nice to meet you alright

well come on

we're gonna take you in the super secret way

I'm actually gonna use this restroom right here

if that's okay alright

should we just hang out here

I couldn't believe that you of all people

have to hold everything up just to go and take a pee

I have to pee too just not 37 times a day

so we have the largest collection

of espionage related artifacts

we have buttonhole cameras lipstick

pistol

think we'll see the uh rectal concealment device what

hahaha

I knew how that would get your attention

on the backside oh yeah

up the bum as they say that I didn't know

do use your imagination

but but what would I still smuggle stuff in

smuggle stuff yeah

tools you know'cause if you're caught with your tools

it's a smelly job

I know it's not a it's not a pretty job

I was telling your dad about

some of the things you're gonna see in the museum

awesome yeah

what was the guy telling you when I was taking a piss

you wouldn't wanna know did you see the movie Argo

yes Tony Mendes who Ben Affleck plays in that movie

he's on our board wow

and we have a lot of items

both from the movie and from his life wow

these are some of Tony Mendes's items

so what's the deal with the logo

so remember during the Carter administration

when Iran took all those American embassy hostages

yeah well

six Americans managed to escape to the Canadian embassy

and the CIA had to pretend to make a film called Argo

and that

they were supposedly gonna be filming it in Iran

and they used that as a cover to get the six

Americans out of Iran remember it was a fake Hollywood

yeah movie studio

that's the business card it's called Studio

Studio 6 and the joke is there were six hostages

they had to get out a Beechwood drive

but they thought Beechwood wrong

that's weird trust you to find a very mistake

well I just I noticed things

thank god they weren't trying to negotiate with you

they were probably still stuck in a room

well you know

it's a good thing I'm on the right side

alright guys the museum's closed to the public

so I'm just let you wander around

I'm gonna go get our executive director

he's former CIA

and then we'll come back and meet up with you

if we can find you cool OK

alright alright

see you in a bit have fun

we'll do

oh look a cigarette pistol wow

flashlight gun

I love all this stuff this is so cool

brass knuckles

just in case you gotta punch someone in the mouth

oh look here you go it's a bit burly

freaks and suckers wow

who I mean

can you imagine the bond film

James is like Argh

ha ha

James with a gun

double 0 7 I'm out of here danger

hi guys

I want to introduce you to our executive director

Peter Arnold pleasure to meet you

yes Peter John

you too he's a real former spy

so he used a lot of the gadgets that you're looking

not the rectal tool he uses

no I'm not

he doesn't talk about that

he doesn't talk about that

he doesn't talk about that

he doesn't talk about that

he doesn't talk about that

he doesn't talk about that

ha ha what's your favourite item in here

there's a pigeon in there that I like

right here in World War 1

they used homing pigeons yeah

yeah for messages

they also tried this

looks like an American tourist stranded in Paris

in the rain or something and what the camera is

it has an automatic shutter release

so if I release the pigeon here

it flies over the target to go home

as it flies over the cameras taking pictures

also in World War 2

they used bats for incendiary devices

yes that's right

they thought the bats would take these

incendiary devices into the river

of course

you would know that bats were used in World War 2

you can see is a pretty good picture of

you've seen high RES pictures in satellites now

but this for the time was good

look at that picture over there

you can see the wingtips of the pigeon

it's one of my favorite very cool good times

so what do you think guys awesome

did you get that little special thing

I think I did you ready to be Guinea pigged

Guinea pig for what you have to find out

only the truth can set you free

hahaha follow me

we'll go to the interrogation room

oh this is when we hook your nuts up to a car battery

hahaha come on in

I went all out for you

and we're here to conduct a polygraph examination

let's see what we can find out

okay interesting

why am I always the Guinea pig

why don't you ever do it well

because this trip is about experiencing new things

yeah but you don't experience

this is a blood pressure cuff

so it will measure heart rate

you have to sit on a butt pad normally yeah

that's right the butt can't lie right

um because people will generally sort of clench

you have electricity in your body

I'll soon find out

while in Washington DC

my dad and I visited the International Spy Museum

which houses the largest number of espionage artifacts

in the world

the museum also has their very own polygraph machine

and our tour guide

Jackie had to put my dad to the test

so Ozzy I googled you yeah

and I found a lot of interesting pieces of information

that helped to inform me in my interrogation today

so I'm gonna ask you some questions okay

so are you ready yeah

is your full name John Michael Osbourne

yep are you known as the Prince of darkness

yes

did you graduate high school at the age of 15 yeah

have you ever shaved off anyone's eyebrows

while they were sleeping just for fun

don't laugh did you once

inadvertently give a priest a piece of cake

that was laced with hashish yes

all right I'm gonna go ahead and end the test

there was a pretty big change between question

two and three

and then it came up again as we got ready to go to 4

do you normally say you graduated high school

at the age of fifteen

no I left

you just left okay

so that might have been where that came from

that you referred to as the Prince of darkness yes

is that

are you the Prince of darkness and and you actually are

that's so messed up so now

what's this deal with the priest and the cake

laced with hashish I just made some hash cake

and the priest came and just visit me

and I didn't realize that my wife

my ex wife had given him a cake

so what happened

he got very stoned and he just passed out

I had to drive his car with him passed out in the car

I thought I killed him

I dumped him on his doorstep

and wrong the bell and leg him

so where are you off to next

you're going to the White House hopefully

we're still waiting here back

I guess you know

they they like to leave

leave you hanging there just in case OK

you better get us in there

or I'm gonna shove that pigeon up your ass

and you'll need that rectal tool to get it out

alright

hello

hi Jack alright

should we make a move yeah

I just thought I'd pull this up

to jog your memory on

probably one of the last times you were in Washington

DC Washington power brokers

Hollywood stars

Ozzy Osbourne

you must have when he said that so loaded

the White House press dinner yeah

sounds like it's at the White House right

yes that would be at the White House

we ended up in a hotel room

are we still going to the White House

I'm trying

some days when I speak to them it's looking great

some days when I call them

they're like and well

this just happened and so I'm staying optimistic

where are we going today

then I thought we'd take you to some monuments in Iraq

is that here yeah

that's cool

but one time I went to the Holocaust museum here

I walked in and then people started to jump on me

for five years

this is not this is not the right time or the place

so I left so

if you want the experience

to be a little bit more mellow

and not so many people bothering you

I've brought you a flannel and a hoodie

and a baseball hat so

you know if you wanna go incognito

Ozzy Osbourne no

what's the point I don't know

no one will know it's me

that's the point

oh okay

alright should we make a move

yeah sure

you don't want to try some of these clothes on

no thank you

this is good stuff I love DC it's like my favorite city

oh yeah

first record I ever bought

hello

it's right here just in case

I'm a rock gun I know

but you're also a tourist

tourist rock gun

you know I'd like to go first

where here

where do you think it is did you know

I think that was the island where a lot of

a lot of the people that lived on there

were told that Americans were like

savages and whatever

and a lot of them jumped to their death off a cliff

it was actually Saipan

oh yeah

one of it cause that's where there's a crazy sea cliffs

now look

you would give him a memorial

look at that oh wow

that's way bigger than I thought it would be

that's beautiful but this memorial

it's not just Iwo Jima

this is the Marine Corps Memorial

it's relatively new I think it was built in 1954

a national Monument in Arlington Virginia

the memorial was inspired by the iconic

1945 photographer six servicemen

raising the American flag on top of Mount Suribachi

during the battle of Iwo Jima

during World War 2 did you know that the photographer

Joe Rosenberg actually was unable to join the US Army

cause he had bad eyesight really

yeah and he won the Pulitzer Prize from that photo

I have an original print of that picture

wow yeah

let me get a picture of you

I'm freezing I have a scarf and stuff in the car

I have a really great flannel

and a nice pair of khaki pants

I don't wanna wear them soon

I'm a rock God hey

you know what it's okay to clock out sometimes

I don't care I'm the prince of darkness ha ha ha

no you're not thinking

it's standing up the obelisk right there

it was damaged in an earthquake

yeah the last couple times I was in DC

it had a bunch of scaffolding all around it

what's that there it's the Lincoln Memorial

yeah can can we go inside

yeah sure

cold isn't it

can you get me something to keep my body warm

oh no

I'm not wearing the fuck oh OK

I'm not wearing I have two things I can offer you

a flannel shirt oh

I know I just want something to keep me warm OK

not a flannel shirt a waistcoat

you keep it's not a waistcoat

but it'll do hold on no

do I look like a rocker with this woolly hat on

what shit it's a very nice jacket

put that on under your jacket

it's a joke Rick

this is not Prince of darkness clothes

you will be very warm and toasty

I wear this on stage good

enough of nuns knickers you look good

I look like a camper

this is the Lincoln Memorial for Abraham Lincoln

what is this a big memorial

so an interesting fact 40% of this place is underground

and they don't really tell people what's under there

one myth is that Lincoln is buried here

but it's wrong he's actually buried in Springfield

Illinois

pretty cool so they built the memorial in like 1922

yeah and

the original statue

was only supposed to be 10 feet tall

but I guess bigger is always better

so they ended up making it around 19 feet

if the statue actually stood up though

Lincoln would be 28 feet tall

wow and there was miss about his hands

the positioning that they

were in the shape of an a and an L

like he was doing sign language like Abraham Lincoln

and I guess it's a success

isn't it yeah

you wanna get a photo real quick

with this in the background

that's the Washington right there

you see how the Washington memorials

two different colors no

I'm blind alright

well about a dark light

dark light yeah

well yeah

the Vatican donated a big block

to have it continue to be built

in the mid 1800s

and what happened was the block was stolen

there was an anti Catholic movement

and that halted production for 20 years

and the Civil War happened

and then they stepped in

and they started rebuilding it after the war

and there's no cement it's all freestanding

it's the weight of the blocks holding it together

wow and that's why when the earthquake happened

it got so badly damaged look Washington Tours by Jack

can we drive by the White House

unfortunately no

not right now the street is blocked off to traffic

and we're in Georgetown kind of England in a way

lovely since we were driving through Georgetown

what better place for the Prince of darkness to visit

than the famous Exorcist stairs

so they shot the Exorcist all around here

oh yeah it's actually based in Georgetown

when we first saw that film

I'll never forget

me and the rest of the guys in Black Sabbath

we were so scared at the end of it

well I'm telling you

the four princes of darkness were scared

and then we all say spend the night in the same room

we were scared to fucking go to bed

were you guys cuddling phone rang by I nearly the best

so I was looking online

and one of the most famous scenes of the film is when

the priest goes down the stairs

you don't see him at the end of the stairs

you see him at the end of them and she's like

and they're real stairs yeah

and I found them they're online

they're kinda hard to find

they're like slightly hidden alright

the stairs are coming up

it should be here according to what I read

oh wow those are some big stairs

and I ain't climbing up them stairs

I'll be dead

I'll race you to the top you could fuck off look

here we go in the film cinematic ending

Father Karan plummeted 75 steps to his death

I don't know why

but in the film when they found the guy dead

he was on the street

I don't remember him being on a car park wow

this is actually the 5th most visited

tourist attraction in the DC area

I didn't realize that many people knew about it yeah

I'm gonna have to get a picture of you by the Exorcist

stairs

can't see the stairs Jack

the whole point of this picture is to get the stairs

how was that one it's dark man

hurry up I'm pretty sure I'm laying in pee right now

how was that one what the fuck am I doing

you get the stairs in the shop

I'll think about it alright

Danzo Exorcist stairs Whoo

thanks Annie Leibowitz ha ha

so today we are going to the FBI

most people don't know this

but I do have a kind of background in law enforcement

I've been a police reserve for like nearly 10 years now

so getting to go to uh the FBI is kind of cool

I'm gonna call the White House again

I'm starting to feel a little bit of pressure

they know we're here they keep asking like hey

can we get an answer are we coming to the White House

are we not coming to the White House

like what's the deal we shall see and we're off

we were knocking on your door for like

an hour this morning oh yeah

I I can do things and after a while I was like

is he alive

ha ha I set up for us to go to the FBI

so they're gonna teach us stuff about like

a bit of the history of the FBI

we're gonna get to shoot some Tommy guns

they're gonna take us to the gun range

so the White House isn't up here

is it no

the White House is back the way we came

I thought we were going to the White House

we were going to the White House

what you mean well

I guess there's a lot of things going on right now

don't shoot the messenger

are we going there or what

I can't give you that answer

you know what the problem is

you just clearly didn't donate enough to Obama

bet you if you were one of those big donation guys

you'd been there in a heartbeat

I don't think we're gonna go

we're gonna be able to go

I was very much looking forward to going there

so you just put your foot in your mouth

I would go going past tense

oh here we are yeah

look you can buy a kayak and then go join the FBI

ha ha

alright so here's the lowdown on the FBI

it was created in 19 0

8 because Teddy Roosevelt pretty much demanded it

really yeah

now where we're going today is where the FBI train

they even have a mock town here called Hogan's Alley

where they stage

all kinds of scenarios that agents might encounter

including meeting us nice to meet you

nice to meet you too pleasure

absolutely Ozzy Mark Morgan

nice to meet you nice to meet you

so I know you're gonna be with us for a little bit

so we're gonna take you to one of our ranges

and

show you a few weapons that you'll be able to shoot

and then we also got an old Thompson sub machine gun

right oh wow yeah

when I was a kid

the only things we saw about America was

cowboys and Indians

gangsters and Tommy guns in real life

when I first got to America

New York in 1970 I remember thinking

those gangsters with machine guns everywhere you go

ha ha

I'm Jack I'm Ray

nice to meet you how's it going

I'm Ozzy please to meet you

nice to meet you too question yes

does the FBI have a one of every gun that's made

so the FBI does have a reference library collection

and their goal is to have one of every weapon

that's ever been made what I'll do

I'll turn over to Ken

and he'll take us through where we got armed

as an organization cool excellent

so before 1934 the FBI agents were not armed

in 1933 there was a Kansas City massacre

during this massacre pretty boy Floyd

supposedly involved in this murder of three uh

police officers and one FBI agent

while transporting a federal prisoner

after that the United States Congress then

gave the authorization to carry weapons

the Thompson submachine gun

you know from the gang movies that are all out

but were they were they legal at one point to buy

they were absolutely

when this first came out it was $200 to buy it

you can buy it out of a magazine right

absolutely the local general stores would often sell

would sell Thompson

but the problem was it was way overpriced at that time

you could buy a vehicle or a car from Ford for $400

wow always wanted

to buy a Thompson they don't still use them

do they

some law enforcement agencies still use Tommy guns

really yep

wow

the Thompson is full auto

so it's 550 rounds I give you a 20 round magazine

it's about a three second ride

OK so you ready

yeah alright

let's have a gentleman's bet

see who shoots the best OK

the loser wears a dress ha ha ha deal

be careful with the trigger cause if you touch it

it will go off so shoot it just like the rifle

are you ready for rock and roll

oh yeah really

lay into the gun push into it

push into it as hard as you can

wow one good job

look at that I think they're all there hahaha

I don't think you can beat that 19 out of 20

good job

awesome man yeah wow

alright you ready

yep alright

alright you gonna run the whole thing

yeah alright

crap I think you beat me

oh really

you got a better group you got him Oz

you got him think you got me

oh yeah we definitely got a winner here

you always like oh no

I'm just I'm just an old rock star

leave me alone I don't know what I'm doing

and then you're like it's good to be the king

I'm not wearing a dress I heard you had to wear one

I will I

I know right I have

this part of Hogan's Alley which

everyone's familiar with was put together in 1986

and these are all just set up for the training here

our next stop at the FBI Academy was Hogan's Alley

a mock town where cadets practice tactical training

Hogan's Alley has the only bank in America

that gets robbed twice a week

every week a lot of movies that you've seen

silence of the lambs

they filmed a lot of that here years ago Cool

Dave Christman

he's our chief here of the Tactical Training unit

how are you

we have a couple things set up for you today

we'll have our action versus reaction drill

the house of pain so they do sting a little bit uh

but we'll make sure the faces are protected

did you just say house of pain

he did

I guess that's their like fun nickname for the like

Quick draw competition they have

like you guys a lot of our new agents have

have a lot of experience with guns

so we have to train them

not only how they handle their own guns

but guns that they might find with on the street

so we have everything from the smaller handguns

that you can hide easily in a pocket

here's an example what it shoots

what is that what is that

a paintball bullet basically

oh yes

and it's filled with detergent

with soap basically so it's not gonna hurt you

it's like getting hit with a paintball yeah

it stings a little bit more yeah

so even me I was wondering that stupid thing

now we're gonna do the man on man

this section of training is house of pain

that we run for the new agents

basically hands are gonna be up like this

when I say threat

you're gonna come down and then engage

one shot as quick as you can

you gotta try to beat that guy

but if I say any other word

you're gonna owe me some push UPS

it must be a scary situation to be in yes yeah

it's not

not fun looking down the barrel of someone else's gun

that's for sure alright hands up Albuquerque Brad

haha

alright step up in the cone Denver Brad

ah pretty even pretty even did you get hit Matt

did you get hit yep

it didn't seem much fun to if you win they shoot you

I think it's more to do with like winning

you gotta win OK

threat

oh for the love of God hahaha okay

so obviously you won that one hahaha

alright

Armadillo

Denver threat

you got hit obviously

ha ha ha didn't I didn't get hit alright

what's your shot then you got the better end of that

ha ha ha

my decision not to do it wasn't that bad

cause you shot the guy in the nuts

one quick kick in the nuts it's game over

that was like Kelly's go to thing

she used to kick me in the nuts

all the time

stay between the cones spin around

engage your target

Jack don't shoot your dad

I'll try not to okay threat

oh Jack

you shot twice shot twice

bad habit you can you can take off your mask

you know what since Jack shot twice

he probably deserves a penalty

I can have Ozzy shoot him in the back if you want

pleasure alright

it's a pleasure haha

I love how you were they were like

oh Ozzy do you wanna do this and get shot

and you're like no

no no no

and then they're like here

why don't you just shoot Jack in the back

you're like yes

I'm a giver not a receiver

hahaha

you get one shot

turn around and you're gonna shoot him right here

hahaha

see I'm gonna get one

did he get you hahaha

I'll wake you up I got a real one hahaha

I can't believe there was like

zero hesitation to shoot me in the back

well it was my payback

cause we weren't at the White House yet

don't shoot the messenger

don't shoot the messenger

I thought it was shoot the messenger

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

so from here we can head on down to the breaching wall

have you ever breached a door before

yeah you ever breached any doors

no I've had people kick the door in on me

ha ha ha we nearly had to this morning ha ha

these are uh breaching

doors we have set up so

every new agent knows how to basically get into a door

so he's gonna get the good stance

and he's just gonna hit it

and you wanna give it a whirl and Aussie

do you wanna take a swing at it

just give it a whirl no

no you got it no no

you're strong like an ox I'm a yeah alright

so you wanna give it a whirl

so we're gonna hit is the sweet spot

right near the doorknob cause

we're trying to defeat the weakest part of the door

Alrighty

oh come on now

come on there you go

there you go nice wow

good job

probably took him that long to get into your house

right they had to keep hitting and hitting my eyes

a bit quicker than that the door is open hahaha OK

the door is open

just you could always just do this hahaha yeah right

anybody home FBI

alright

oh my God give me a give me a go with that alright

all set

hey

awesome

you play it down you're like

oh no no no

I'm not I'm I'm too old to do that oh

that's a young man's job

it's amazing what $10 can do so you bribed him

is that what you say you bribed him

no no no

so you're bribing no

no no

no no yes say hahaha abuse

oh is this supposed to do the way though

well I

thought we would stop by this restaurant real quick

cause I have a slight surprise for you

before we headed back to DC

and towards the White House

I'd set up a little surprise for my father

with someone who knows him very well

I'm not really hungry I don't wanna eat right now

you don't have to eat I'm actually not hungry myself

but what the we're going to a restaurant

I'm hungry because we're meeting someone there

who are we meeting

do you want me to tell you the surprise

or you want to wait for the surprise

tell me we're gonna be meeting little Ozzy

little Ozzy

little Ozzy is the world's smallest

Ozzy Osbourne impersonator

he happens to be a little person

amazing can't use the m word what

the m word is a derogatory term these days

me too you're not allowed to say it anymore why

it's politically incorrect

me too can't say it

but I would refer to an individual as a little person

and or a dwarf don't get pissed

don't use a dwarf no

I don't I do I I got I work with them

how about we just call him Little Ozzy

and we'll just leave it at that

would you like to see a video yeah

where did you get this from

he was on America's Got Talent with mom oh fabulous

hey impersonation is the highest form of flattery

impersonation is a pain in the ass

how come you and mom have to keep springing these on me

we know how to maximize your true potential

I'm 68 I've been thinking

I've done all the maximizing I wanna do in my life

mom highly recommended that

seeing as we were in the neighborhood

we should meet up with him

oh here he is

no way

little Ozzy Jack

how are you man

how's it going oh

my God Ozzy

it's good to see you have a seat

wow I would love to have a seat

have you ever seen me before

I've seen on a film what did you think

to be honest you're very good

thank you you got to stand away or stand down

everybody always said you look like Ozzy

and you sing a lot like him

you do sound a lot like him as well

thank you is it strange

when you meet people that are impersonators

I would rather have met a little Obama

can I ever

am I have a chance of going to the White House

can I ask you some advice

you know I've had a dream all my life

it's a dream like anybody else's dream

you know I want to make a living doing music

if you're impersonating me

that's one thing it's not like a party dream

you ain't gonna go very far

what I suggest you do try and what

do something from what you wanna do

well I took some of the Beatles

the Stones LED Zeppelin bands

up performing they don't develop me

here we are 47 years later

I'm still doing still alive yes

I don't know I don't know

is it good it's amazing

I think you pretty much made little Ozzy's life

yeah but I wish you wouldn't keep

you wouldn't spring these things on me

well like how much time

the rest of my life

okay

cool let me get a shot of you too

oh my gosh

incredible let me fix my wig

so I got a question for you

yes you gotta level with me man

are we doing this White House thing or not

just let let me

I'm a big boy I can take a bad mood

I wanna say yes but they haven't told me

Jack you around

no no

but they have

they've me around because they haven't even told me

when was the last time you spoke to him

I spoke to him yesterday I left

what did they say they said

they would let me know within the next 48 hours

the latest they'll let me know is tomorrow

I think you're talking

listen I'm gonna try again

it's alright what's the matter with me

I'm not gonna bite the head of Obama's wife

they might think you would

maybe you're on a watch list

and you just don't know about it

because you're with me oh yeah

I'm with you you're

you have a clean record oh no

but um

I'm not giving up hope

if you're telling me you're not me

I'm gonna believe you I'm not look out

I did hear back from the White House hello

actually yeah

we're actually planning on leaving tomorrow

tomorrow afternoon

oh really

and we got shut down

apparently there's just too many things going on

the president is leaving in a in a couple days for Cuba

it's just too crazy and they couldn't slide us in

the next best option that I do have though uh

is the British Embassy and uh

the British Embassy is accepting us with open arms

mind Faja

oh Jack

that was fun yesterday that was a lot of fun yesterday

so what's happening today got some bad news

what's the name the White House

they could not accommodate us oh

you knew all along that you're winding me up no

I didn't I didn't know

they they only told me this morning

that ain't very cool do this to me all the time

I was really looking forward to

going to the White House yeah

but I got something which is

might be a little bit better

how can you get better than the White House

British Embassy what

what what what what

I couldn't go to the White House

what they were trying to do was

they were trying to see if they

still had the manpower to accommodate us

but I guess

they just didn't have the extra bodies available

I'm disappointed

cause I really was looking forward to going there

me too go to the fucking British embassy instead

that's better than nothing

hello hey

welcome to the British Ambassador's residence

thank you very much thank you for having us

nice to meet you this is a wonderful place uh

opened in 1930

just over here we have King George the 6th

he was the first British head of state to visit the US

that was a queen father wasn't it

yep did he stay here as a head of state

he would have stayed traditionally in the White House

I really wanted to visit the White House today

the only problem was my son failed to get us in

alright OK

ha ha ha you had to embarrass me

didn't you at least he laughed

he's British he was being polite

stop being so serious lighten up

so the White House now has a separate home

called Blair House and the story is

Blair House was taken on

because Winston Churchill visited so often

being an American British citizen

he overstayed his welcome

shall we say in the White House

so um

he was he was an American citizen as well

his mother was an American

his mother was American oh wow

I didn't know that wow

I had no idea about that

I thought that was really interesting

his father was his father died of syphilis

okay

didn't we burn the White House down at one point

uh yes

we did the war of 1812

and British troops came into Washington and um

we trashed the White House and set it alight

and the reason the White House is white is

because they had to paint it when they rebuilt it

but they've left a bit of the basement level

where there's still all the singeing and smoke

wow

so when any prime minister comes for their first visit

president always takes them

to show them how we sing to the White House

hahaha

so didn't you think it was cool

that there's still soot marks

from when the British burnt down the White House

you know what would have been even cooler

what if we had gone to the White House

and sing them for ourselves

but you couldn't get us in the go

sorry maybe we should go out to the terrace

because a Winston Churchill

on one of his visits he came out onto the terrace

and he addressed all staff of the embassies

which is absolutely magnificent

so Churchill came here regularly

obviously came a lot during World War 2

yeah the statue of him had one foot on British soil

and the other is on American soil

to represent his dual citizenship

I think he's part of part of the

I'm sure he did OK

check into him I will

I understand the Beatles came here

they did in the

so they the first concert they played in

in the US was in Washington

there's a very famous incident

where some fan cut off a lock of Ringo Starr's hair

ha ha

was that the reason why I got into music really

that really shook the world

Jack's out of mystery

I don't understand why you go crazy about the video

but this at the time

it was like it was so amazing

yeah and it made you feel good to be alive

you know yeah

that's cool really cool

hey listen Jack

I ain't gonna believe you anymore

you piss me off all the time

I was really

looking forward to going to the White House

it's not my fault we can't go

no but you wind me up all the

I wasn't winding you up I couldn't sleep

I was like thinking oh great

tomorrow we go to the White House

and every time I get let down

I saw waiting for Santa Claus and he don't turn up

but in future don't tell me until I'm going

we might be going to the White House

I they

I this is wrong man

sorry I will no longer tell you what we're doing

before we do it thank you

what's the point

the prince is obviously going to Washington

I was really looking forward to going

into the White House