Original subtitles

Previously on Desperate Housewives, Mike was the victim of a hit and run.

Lynette couldn't forgive her mother's past. You had Tom to come home to. I had

your stepfather. Hey, Glenn may have bored you, but the years we had a father

that house were the happiest of my life. You drove him away.

Mom, where's Grandma going?

Bree got her second chance to be a good mother.

Mike's dependency grew.

Addicts are...

Victor! Get up, I want to see the look on your face when the knife goes in.

And Victor was lost at sea.

We think of the past as water under the bridge. A current that carries away the

mistakes of our youth.

The loves we lost.

The addictions we gave in to.

The opportunities we threw away.

But sooner or later, reminders drift back into our lives of the mistakes we

and the sins we committed.

Carlos, why are you calling me? I told you we can't be seen together.

I can't take it anymore. We've got to go to the cops.

Oh, okay. And say what? Yes, officer, my lover and I knocked my husband

overboard twice and left him for dead. Okay, bye -bye. I don't think so. But

he's the mayor.

You know, people are going to notice he's missing and then they're going to

questions. Let them ask. No one knows we were on that boat.

Let's just play dumb and ride this thing out.

Gabby, don't you feel guilty? A man is dead.

Yes, I feel awful, but he threatened our lives. It was enough to him.

Exactly. So then why don't we go and tell the police?

No!

He took the Lord's name in vain.

Look, we have a good plan. Let's just take...

I won't say anything.

Good. Now, until this blows over, don't call me again.

What are you doing now?

I'm praying for a miracle.

Carlos, if Victor had lived, he would have killed us.

I'm thinking we already had our miracle.

Yes.

The mistakes of our past.

have a way of drifting back into our lives.

And when they do, we have to pay for them.

One day in the early fall, Mike Delfino hurt his shoulder.

To ease his pain, he took a little white pill recommended by his doctor.

The pain persisted, so he took another.

And another.

Unfortunately, when Mike's pain began to subside, his need for the little white

pills did not.

But Mike never shared this with those who cared about him.

Hey, it's Mike. I'm out. I need to meet you tomorrow.

Great. Get that money you owe me?

No, but you know I'm good for it.

You price chemistry textbooks lately?

Like 300 bucks.

I need my money, Mike.

Then you'll get it, all right? Can't you just front me something for now?

Advice is free.

Pills aren't.

My advice?

Get some cash.

This will just take a second.

Did you kiss that boy?

No, I was kind of interrupted.

Oh, well, you're going to thank me. Do you know that he has his tongue pierced?

Yeah, he showed me. How do you know?

I checked out his webpage.

You did not. I did too, and do you know what else he has pierced? And if you do,

you're grounded.

Okay, yes, Mom, Derek has bought into the whole piercing craze, but aren't you

the one who told me to not judge a book by its cover?

If the cover has holes in it, the book is no good.

Okay, this conversation is over. I'm going to get Derek tonight. Oh, fine.

my heart.

Why are you freaking out? We're just dating. It's not like he's trying to put

ring on my finger. Trust me, your finger is not where he put it.

Aw, he's so beautiful when he sleeps.

I'll put him in the crib.

No, he'll be sleeping with us.

Why, is he running a fever?

He's fine, but I've been doing some reading and more and more people say

babies sleep better next to their parents.

It's called the family bed.

I've heard of that.

Isn't it designed to facilitate breastfeeding?

Partly. What's your point? You're not lactating.

If our son wants to be near the milk, he'll have to sleep in the refrigerator.

This isn't just for me and Benjamin.

This will help you bond with him, too.

Perhaps.

But it's sure not going to help me bond with you.

Darling, sex is the last thing women want right after they've given birth.

But you didn't give birth.

You watched and served refreshments.

Well, that doesn't make caring for an infant any less tiring.

Can't we just give it a chance?

I suppose.

What if I roll over and crush him?

Don't.

Yes, hi.

I'm looking for my mom. She hangs out at your bar sometimes.

Stella Wingfield.

Older lady.

Big smoker. Talks like a teamster.

Well, that's your fault for letting her run a tab. Look, if you see her, could

you tell her to call Annette?

Thank you.

I know that you are worried, but I am sure your mother is fine.

She's broke and old and rude. That is not a winning combination on the street.

Bella is very resourceful. Didn't you tell me that she once made her own booze

by putting a bag of oranges under the radiator?

Lucy, Lydia, and I fought over who had to take her. She was right outside. God

only knows what she heard us say.

After the crap she puts you guys through, you have every right to resent

It is a lot easier to resent your parents when you know they're safe in

retirement village, but to know that she's out there, maybe lying face down

an alley... That's exactly what she wants you to do. She wants you to feel

guilty. Don't buy into it.

Okay.

Okay.

I guess you're right.

Lynette. The mortgage listed under government offices, right?

Mr. Plank, the police are here.

Ma 'am, I'm Detective Barry. This is Detective Lyons.

Can we ask you a few questions?

Of course.

When was the last time you saw Mr. Lang?

I guess two days ago. Why? What's wrong?

His officers reported him missing.

Oh, no, they did?

And this morning, the Coast Guard found his empty boat floating in the bay.

Oh, my God.

I hope this isn't... The last time I saw him, I told him I

was leaving him.

How did he react to that news?

Well, he took it pretty hard.

Oh, you don't think he did anything stupid, do you? Well, actually, we

You don't?

When we examined the boat, we didn't find a single fingerprint.

Not even Mr. Lang's.

Well, that weird.

What do you think that means?

It would indicate somebody wiped that boat down after Mr. Lang was gone.

Whoever was on that boat is clearly not that bright.

Okay, this is no time for name -calling. A man is missing.

Well, don't worry, ma 'am. We got our best men on this case. Round the clock.

We'll find out exactly what happened to your husband.

Hi. Hi.

I'm Barrett. Is Mike home? No, he's at work.

Oh, shoot.

I needed to talk to him.

We're just doing some business together.

Well, I don't know when he's going to be home, but you could come back later

tonight. Oh, I can't do that. I have to study for an Orgo test.

Orgo?

Organic chemistry.

I'm pre -med.

Pre -med?

Really?

Oh, hello, dear.

Andrew, get our son's plate from the oven.

Ask me how my morning was.

All right. How was it?

After two nights of sleepless bonding with my son, I nearly dozed off while

repairing Mrs. Colby's cracked molar.

I doubt if the crown I put in will last her a year.

So you'll replace it for free.

That's not the point.

How is a dentist supposed to feel when he can't give a 90 -year -old a lifetime

guarantee?

Bree, I'm sorry, but this whole family bed thing has to stop.

Give it some time.

We're still adjusting, and Benjamin is sleeping so soundly. He can sleep just

soundly in a crib.

From what you've told me, you and Rex didn't haul Andrew into bed with you.

and I wish we had.

If we did, he mightn't have turned out so... So what?

Stupid? Lazy?

Short? I was going to say angry.

And perhaps that anger began when we exiled you to the nursery.

I'm just trying to learn from my mistakes.

So I'm what, like the first pancake?

Don't be so sensitive.

We'll find something to help you sleep.

Maybe some warm milk.

I know something that used to help me sleep.

Of course, that's off the menu these days.

Could the mistake have the salt? And if you're as tired as you say you are, then

you're bound to sleep better tonight. Yes, I will.

Because I'll be sleeping in the den. You're leaving our bed?

Rolling. I need to either sleep or get lucky tonight.

I'll have a better shot at both if I'm alone.

Gosh, you're studying to be a doctor.

That must not leave you a lot of free time for hobbies or a girlfriend.

Well, I have the time. I just don't have a girlfriend.

Oh, well, no rush.

You know, just yesterday I was telling my daughter Julie... Oh, you know, that

is so rude.

I'm talking about my daughter, and you don't even know what she looks like.

That's her.

She's cute.

Oh, Barrett, I wasn't pissing for compliments. If I was, I would have

this one.

Wow.

Excuse me.

I'm sorry, I've got to take this.

Oh, sure. I have to check on the laundry.

Yeah.

No.

Bonehead, I don't sell that stuff. Just pill, smokes, and shroomage.

That's it.

200 bucks, cash only.

Eat you through.

Look what I found on the dryer.

Julie won second place in the state science fair.

That's awesome.

Yeah, good looking and smart.

Only problem is, where's she going to find someone else like that?

What? I gotta get going. My study partner's giving me a hard time about

test. Oh, that's okay. You know, why don't you come back tomorrow to see

And if Julie happens to be here, maybe you can give her some advice on picking

out colleges and stuff.

Yeah. Sounds great.

See you tomorrow, Ms. Delfino. Oh, please call me Mom.

Uh, because that's what all the kids call me.

Hey, Rhi.

Table for one and a half? No, thanks. I'm just dropping off Andrew's cell

He forgot it. Again.

Okay, I'll give it to him. Um, Tom, may I ask you something?

Did you and Lynette do the family bed when your children were babies?

Well, it wasn't exactly a choice. They just kept crawling in there.

So, um, not to pry, but did that create any issues for you?

You mean sex?

Apparently not to pry wasn't necessary.

Well, it did put a crimp on things at first, but that just forced us to be

creative.

Oh.

Again, not to pry, but... The office.

We did it at the office, once in the car. And remember when you asked us to

watch the house when you guys were going out of town?

Okay.

Thanks. Yes, um, we'll be going now.

Hey, other than your issue, how does Orson like being a dad?

Oh, he just adores it.

The three of us are such a happy little family.

Aren't we?

That is great.

Bye. Bye.

Well, I replaced that gasket.

Shouldn't leak anymore.

Great. Why don't you grab us a couple beers?

Sylvia?

What are you doing here?

Beautiful house. Look, you need to leave. I don't want Catherine finding

here. Oh, but Catherine's gone. I waited till she drove away so we could be

alone.

Aren't you going to invite me in?

After you ruined my life? I don't think so.

You ruined your own life.

You should have told the truth about us.

Sylvia, why don't you do us both a favor and go back to Chicago?

Adam, let me in.

Hey, man, your beer's getting warm.

Drop by some other time.

Sorry, man. It sounded like you needed a little help. Thanks.

An ex -patient with some pretty serious mental problems.

Could you do me a big favor?

I'd rather Catherine didn't know she was here.

Oh, yeah.

It's no problem.

You know, actually, I was going to ask you a favor, too.

I've got this pain in my shoulder.

You think you could write me a prescription?

Oh, I wish I could help you out, but a gynecologist writing a prescription for

man, it kind of raises a red flag.

Yeah.

I don't worry about it.

This favor thing doesn't have to go both ways.

And, uh, is Mrs. Zimmerman here?

Brie, what a wonderful surprise.

I've got a new patient coming in.

Yes, you do.

I'm Mrs. Zimmerman.

Your message said you had a cavity that needed filling?

I was in a very naughty mood when I left that.

You're waiting outside.

Why? Are you waiting outside?

Everything is fine. Just, um, someone's here.

Oh, my God, it's the police. No, no, no, nothing like that.

It's your stepfather.

Glenn?

I don't believe it.

Lenny.

Oh, it's been a long time.

God, only three decades, give or take a year, but who cares?

Oh, gosh.

You look great.

Oh, so do you.

Although, what's this?

Oh, just a little cancer.

No, but I kicked its ass. I'm good now.

Oh.

Hi, hi, hi.

Hi. You come here.

Oh.

So why, why are you here?

Well, your mother called me.

She did? Is she okay?

She sounds fine. She asked for money.

I didn't know you guys had kept in touch.

Well, we hadn't.

I'm meeting her tomorrow at Fairview Park to give it to her.

And I'm guessing you'll want to come with me. Yeah, yeah, thank you. But

has she been staying?

She broke into a car and spent the night there.

Oh, my God. But she did say it was a Cadillac.

Oh, well... Good, at least she's not living like a hobo.

Oh, my God, I'm so glad to see you again.

Oh, you too, Lenny.

Hey, Bree.

Oh, hello, Adam.

I just dropped by to see your husband, did you hear? He's in the exam room,

readjusting the chair.

Look, I'm sorry Mike is in such pain, but it's not really ethical for me to

write in my prescription.

I know it's a little dicey, but you'd really be doing me a big favor.

By the way, Brie looks great. I haven't seen her since I delivered Daniel's

baby.

Sorry.

Your baby.

Hey, Andrew.

What are you doing?

Just giving you that song room you always wanted.

You're moving out?

But you can't afford an apartment.

I can afford this one, which will give you some idea how crappy the

is.

Sorry, I don't understand. Why are you doing this?

I'm doing this for you.

How are you going to get a fresh start with your past mistakes thinking up the

place?

It's just about the other morning.

Oh, for heaven's sakes, you can't be serious.

I am. In fact, I already gave the landlord a check.

Hope the three of you are very happy.

Well, to be honest, I'm not entirely comfortable giving this to you, Mike.

Pain medication only helps your symptoms. If this is chronic, you need

seeing a physical therapist.

You know what I need?

Orson, I need to take a few weeks off.

But I can't, because I've got to work.

For the baby, for Julie's class trip, the patio furniture and everything else

Susan's got me paying for.

You okay, Mike? You sound a little unhappy.

No, no, I'm happy.

I don't mean to put all this on Susan. It's just when I signed up for this

suburban dad thing, I didn't exactly know what I was getting myself into.

I understand.

Still, this is no way to deal with stress.

It's not about stress.

It's about the...

pain I've been in every day since I got hit by that car.

You mean this pain is related to your accident?

It wasn't an accident.

Some son of a bitch ran me down and took off.

Right.

Well, I hope this helps.

I was dreaming we were ponies.

That's nice.

Go back to sleep.

Hey, that kid, um, Barrett came by today.

What?

Yeah, he said that you owed him money for some plumbing job that he helped you

on.

Yeah.

Yeah, I gotta get that to him.

He's coming back tomorrow.

Don't you think you'd be perfect for Julie?

Barrett, Stelpino, I'm only going to say this once.

I'll get you your money, but don't ever come to my house again.

You got it?

Ever.

Yes, hello.

I'd like to leave an anonymous tip about something important.

Do you have some kind of voicemail menu for that?

Well, it's about the mayor.

Oh, I don't think he's missing.

I think he's dead.

Look, that's it. We've got to go to the cops.

Carlos, please.

We blew with the fingerprints, all right?

Now they know someone else was with them on the boat.

They don't know that someone else was us. It's just a matter of time.

I mean, make a list of people with a motive to kill Victor. Number one, you.

Number two, you. Number three, maybe me.

Probably still you. Okay, if we just stay calm and stick to the story... We

tried that.

It's not working.

I'm going to the cops.

Now you can either come with me or wait for them to come and get you.

Fine. I'll go.

Thank you.

Can we at least have a drink before we go?

Calm our nerves.

I mean, you can't talk to the cops the way you've been babbling to me.

I guess one drink wouldn't hurt.

You okay with tequila?

Only if it's good stuff.

find this has a real kick.

Oh, and this is the worst. During a dissection, my anatomy lab partner

stomach juice in my eye. Ew, that is so disgusting.

That was terrible.

So gross.

Ew.

Hey, what are you smiling about?

My matchmaking skills.

Julie and Barrett are really hitting it off.

Barrett? Yeah, your friend.

I told you last night he was coming by again.

I appreciate all the pressure.

Julie,

can you give us a minute? Barrett and I have a little business to discuss.

Sure. I'll just grab my jacket.

I thought I told you to stay away from my house.

Your wife invited me.

And hey, you married into a cute family.

Kudos. Here's your money.

Now get out.

We were just leaving.

Taking Julie on a tour on my campus.

There is no way I'm letting her go anywhere with a low -life drug dealer.

Low -life?

Dude, I'm a pre -med student who's found an enterprising way to earn his way

through college.

You, on the other hand, are a junkie.

And I don't think you want your cute family knowing that, do you?

I'll have her home by ten.

Mmm. This is delicious, Mrs. Delfino. Thank you. Hey, you know, would you like

me to pack some up for you guys to take?

This guy's a drug dealer.

What? You remember those pills you found?

He sold them to me.

Look, Mrs. Delfino.

Get out of my house.

Okay.

I'll go.

Shame, though.

Oh,

I don't know.

But if you're not feeling well, maybe we should put this off. No, no, no. We

gotta go now.

Crap!

Detective!

Any, uh, news on my husband?

Not yet.

But we got some more questions for you. Oh, okay.

So, ask away.

This is Lang. Are you having an affair with your ex -husband?

Where'd you hear that?

Your neighbor called us.

Oh. Well, you tell Edie Britt just because Carlos dumped her doesn't mean

has to go around trashing my reputation.

Especially when she's the slut.

Well, have you seen him lately?

Boy, let me think.

No.

No, I haven't.

This is Lyons.

We're on our way.

Good news, Mrs. Lang.

They found your husband.

Huh? A couple of fishermen found him washed up on the beach.

He's unconscious but in stable condition.

Would you like to go to the hospital?

Well, why wouldn't I?

Just let me grab my purse.

You can stop feeling guilty. Victor's alive.

And we're screwed.

Okay, what's the plan?

When she shows up, you'll meet her and give her the money. Then ask her to walk

you back to the car. I'll jump out, grab her, and while you open the trunk...

Lynette.

Fine. the back seat, but you're just going to spoil her.

You still have that wicked sense of humor.

Yeah. It's the one good thing you get from a crappy childhood.

You know, I... I always regretted the way things ended.

Why? Mom cheated on you. No one blames you for leaving.

It was more complicated than that.

Hey! Not complaining.

Ah, there's Boozilla now.

All right, I'll go get her.

He bought those pills a long time ago and never got around to paying the guy.

Wow. Julie, it's not like it was heroin or crack. It was just pain pills for his

shoulder. But we had a talk, and he has totally stopped taking them.

Are you absolutely sure?

Yeah.

Well, I was at the drugstore this morning, and I saw Mike there picking up

prescription.

Hello, Stella.

Glenn, what the hell?

I know we're the same age. How is it you look so much better than me?

Well, I don't drink or sleep in cars.

Oh, so that's your secret. Who knew?

Well... Here's the money.

Thank God.

You are a beautiful, beautiful human being.

You son of a bitch. You set me up.

Lynette!

Oh, crap.

Now, where do you think you're going?

I'm off to die in a ditch. What do you care? Okay, enough with the drama. I

you to come home with me.

Oh, really?

That's not what you said to Lydia and Lucy.

I am sorry about that, Mom. We were just venting. People who love you need to do

that. I was not a horrible mother.

And even if I was, it's old news, so drop it.

Drop it?

Do you hear that? She wants me to drop it. And when she cheated on you and when

she wrecked our family, I bet she wanted you to drop that too.

Okay, guys. What's done is done.

And if you can't get over it, there's nothing I can say that'll make you stop

hating me. There is one thing you could say.

You keep your mouth shut.

Stella, she's a grown woman. She can handle it.

Handle what?

Glenn, don't.

Lenny, I didn't leave your mother because she cheated on me.

I left because I'm gay.

You okay?

Just a bit dizzy from holding my breath in your stairwell.

May I come in?

I'd kind of rather you not see the place until I get it fixed up. Well, I guess

I'll just have to take my veal scallopini and go home.

I've been so busy with moving, I forgot to eat.

This is really good, Mom. Thank you.

You know I'd make it for you every day if you'd move back home.

This is my home.

Seriously, Andrew, you don't even have a bed.

Actually, you're sitting on it, so fold out.

Oh, dear God, at least let me buy you some decent furniture.

Absolutely not. Mom, I'm going to do this on my own.

Andrew, I understand you're angry with me about what I said, but I do have a

good reason for wanting to raise Benjamin differently.

I mean, let's be honest.

You put me through hell.

You're right. I know I did, but that's why I'm mad.

Because I changed and you never noticed.

I got a job, a car, I own health insurance.

I've turned things around.

Well, I know that.

Why haven't you said anything?

It's because you've been so focused on your new husband and baby.

Oh, Andrew.

It's okay.

Well, you got a new life.

I think it's the time I did, too.

I just don't want us to part on bad terms again, like we did two years ago.

You mean when you left me on the side of that road?

Look, Mom, I was being out of control.

You forced me to grow up.

If I haven't said it before, thank you.

You forgive me?

I forgave you a long time ago.

Never noticed.

Oh, uh, Mom?

Would you mind using the coaster?

Okay, now I really am gonna cry.

Dave packed away like a bring. We were together almost 20 years.

Oh. Nice.

I know it's a lot to deal with.

Kind of.

So, uh, coffee's probably ready.

Uh, cream and sugar?

Shot of bourbon?

Why didn't you tell me?

It wasn't my proudest moment, Lynette.

What are you talking about?

I failed as a woman.

Two years being married to me and he turns gay.

I don't think that's how it works.

All I know is I was so ashamed.

What does it matter anyway? It wouldn't have changed anything between us.

Are you kidding?

It would have changed everything.

Oh, you would have given me a pass on my drinking, my swearing, my men.

If I understood why you couldn't stay married to the only father, the only

stable parent I'd ever known, yeah, I could have found a way to forgive you

sorts of things.

We can talk about this later.

Let's go home.

I don't think so.

Listen to me.

I would be honored if you would come and live with us. Having you around these

past few months was sort of... fun.

It was great.

We actually figured out a way to stop torturing each other.

Then why not come back?

Because I don't want to screw that up.

And let's face it, Lynette, you know I would.

So why don't we just take our chips and leave the table winners?

But where will you live?

Actually, I have a thought.

Sorry, I didn't mean to eavesdrop. But, um... I happen to have an immaculately

decorated guest room.

You know, he's always talked like that.

How did I not know you were queer?

I'm sorry, you want this around?

Well, we always had a good time.

And to tell the truth, I've been a little lonely lately.

Oh.

So I would be doing you a favor.

Fine. But I'm keeping the money.

It's a deal.

Does this work for you?

It does.

It really does.

So I've been doing some stretches.

The shoulder feels great.

That's a relief.

You, uh, gonna take a shower?

Yeah. I might, um, go down for a snack in a minute.

Okay.

Mrs. Lang?

I'm Dr. Wheeler, your husband's neurologist. How is he?

He's starting to wake up now. Would you like to talk to him?

Of course.

I bet he's pretty delirious.

I mean, after his ordeal, I wouldn't be surprised if he's just battling like a

crazy person.

Mr.

Lang, your wife is here.

Gabby. Hi.

Don't strain yourself, Victor. There's plenty of time to talk later.

What's important now is that you rest.

Just stay quiet and rest.

Quietly. Mr. Mayor, I'm Detective Barry.

We need to ask you a few questions.

What time did you take your boat out?

I was on the boat?

We think.

We found it floating in the bay, and obviously you'd been in the water for

some time.

The last thing I remember...

It was Friday's staff meeting.

Really? I mean, what?

Gabby, do you remember anything about me being on the boat?

No.

No.

Sorry.

Guess I don't remember anything.

Not uncommon in these situations.

He suffered both a mild concussion and hypothermia, either of which can result

in memory loss.

Well, who cares?

Important thing is that he's safe and we're going to nurse him back down.

And I think that would happen a lot faster if we all clear out. Thank you.

Gabby, can you stay with me for a little while?

Of course.

Sounds like I was in pretty bad shape there.

But you're okay now. That's the important thing.

I remember everything.

What?

I think I will rest now.

I'm gonna need all my strength.

The past is never truly behind us.

Ghosts lurk in the shadows, eager to remind us of the choices we made.

But if we look back, we might find an old friend with open arms.

Or an old enemy with a hidden agenda.

Or a grown -up son with a forgiving heart.

Sadly, some of us refuse to look back, never understanding that by denying

the past, we are condemned to repeat it.