Original subtitles

♪ Touché away! ♪

♪ Touché away! ♪

♪ Touché away! ♪

Clackity Clackity Clackity

♪ It's Touché Turtle! ♪♪

This is imperial Rome.

Here the emperor Julius Caesar ruled

until that infamous day

when he was summoned to the senate.

Hiya, fellas.

You guys want to see me about something?

Whack whack whack

Yeah, we're tired of you being emperor.

I wanna be emperor for a while.

Et tu, Brute?

Don't hand me that Shakespeare jazz.

You're washed-up, big Julie.

Yipe!

Sorry, but that's politics.

No use running, big Julie.

We got the empire surrounded.

I knew I should've never crossed the Rubicon.

Quick, get me Touché Turtle!

Duh, look Touché, a man about to jump off the Brooklyn bridge.

Gee, that's funny, Dum Dum.

[Dum Dum] What's so funny about jumpin' off the Brooklyn bridge?

Because we happen to be in Lansing Michigan.

Oh.

But Lansing, Michigan or Brooklyn

he must be saved.

[Touché] Don't do it! Wait!

You have everything to live for!

Think of your family and friends.

Hey, you got somethin' there.

Here, you take this rock.

I'm goin' home.

Hey, Touché, you better catch the phone.

Hello?

Oh, hi, Julius.

What's the problem?

No kidding.

Hold tight. I'll be right over. Bye.

Let's go, Dum Dum.

Touché away!

Touché away!

Is this the fellow who's been givin'

you all the trouble, Julius?

Yeah, that's him. Brutus!

Boy, would I hate to be in his sandals with Touché around.

Okay, Brutus, I want you on the next chariot out of town. Oop!

Sorry, pal, but chariots make me carsick.

You know, the trouble with you is you're too keyed up.

Now, run along.

Oh, you asked for this, Brutus.

En garde!

Touché, Touché.

Oh, dear. Uh, be right back.

And Touché to you too.

Uh, be right back.

Okay, let's start.

Be right back again.

Okay, en garde again.

Hold it a minute!

Take this!

Guess he's the hard-headed type.

Duh, he got you mad this time, huh, Touché?

Not only that, but I'm getting sore too.

Okay, Brutus, defend yourself.

Anything to oblige.

That was a beautiful defensive maneuver.

Ooh!

I warned you, Brutus.

Now you'll taste the fury of an angry Touché.

This is how the pole vault was invented.

Gee, Touché, you're taking a long time

to teach Brutus a lesson.

Rome wasn't built in a day, you know.

Only one way to settle this emperor business, fellas.

- How? - Yeah, how Touché?

Very simple.

Until cooler heads can prevail

I Touché Caesar will be emperor.

Duh, hey, Touché, here comes a bunch of senators

looking for the emperor.

Down with the emperor!

Throw him out this time!

- Boo! Boo! - Throw him!

Say, that's me.

I got a feeling this will be the shortest reign in history.

Touché away!