Original subtitles

♪ Touché away ♪

♪ Touché away ♪

♪ Touché away ♪

♪ It's Touché Turtle ♪♪

- What's that? - It looks like a flying saucer.

Head for the hills! The Martians have landed!

Operator, get me Touché Turtle. It's an emergency.

[Touché] Touché Turtle here.

What? A flying saucer? Okay, I'll get right on it.

Dum Dum, bring me my sword.

Coming, Touché. Duh, here it is.

- And my hat. - Your hat is on your head.

Oh, so it is.

Okay, it's time to be going.

So say what you always say.

Duh, Touché away!

Probably just a routine flying-saucer scare.

People imagine things.

How about that!

A real flying saucer.

Wonder where it came from.

Uh-oh. Well, I'll be a monkey's uncle.

Howdy, stranger. Welcome to Earth.

Stay where you are, Matey.

Oh, come now, I tried to be friendly.

But if it's a quarrel you're looking for.

Very well. En garde, Shorty.

Terribly sorry, old boy, but you shouldn't play

with swords, you know.

- Are you really from Mars? - Yes.

But you speak with an English accent.

Oh, I picked that up from listening to broadcasts

from the British isles.

A matter of fact, I'm here to see what the earth is like.

Capital idea. Come along and I'll show you the joint.

"Touché's Tour," they call it.

I say, old boy, hold it. Not so fast.

I might scare the natives, you know.

Do you mind if I borrow your body?

What did you say?

I'd like to borrow your body.

- My body? - Of course.

You will become me and I will become you.

Nothing to it, you know.

I have this built-in atomic interchanger.

Please, stick your finger into the socket.

By Jove! What a weird disguise.

No one would guess that I'm a Martian.

Nobody would guess that I'm Touché, either.

Well, ta-ta, Shorty.

I'm off to see the bright lights.

Don't go away now.

Don't go away, he says.

Where could I go? To a masquerade party?

Duh, Touché's sure been gone a long time.

He must've run into trouble.

I sure hope that Martian comes back.

I wouldn't want to look like this for the rest of my life.

I wonder where Touché is.

Hey, what?-what's that thing?

That looks like a flying saucer from outer space.

It may be from Mars.

I'll bet you there's even Martians hanging around here.

Hello, Dum Dum.

Duh, help, police! It's a Martian!

Dum Dum, wait!

Help! It's gaining on me!

Help police! It's got me!

Sounds like a riot.

Dum Dum, it's me.

How do you know my name, Mr. Martian?

I'm Touché. Touché!

Duh, who are you kidding? Touché's taller than you.

Feet, do your duty.

Boy, that shorty sure can go.

Don't call me shorty.

Halt! What's going on here?

Duh, it's this Martian, sir.

Aw, is this Martian annoying you? Martian?!

I'm not really a Martian, your honor.

I'm just using his body.

Oh, just using his body, are ya?

I'm running you in for impersonating a Martian

without a license.

One moment there, Bobby.

- Release this man at once. - Hey, there's Touché.

I say, why didn't you wait at the spaceship, Shorty?

Don't call me Shorty!

Cut the double-talk and let's have the facts.

It's really quite simple.

I'm him, and he's me.

But since I'm really a Martian, I'm using his body, and he...

Oh, no! His body! Your body!

My body! I'm coming unraveled!

Well, old chap, time to swap bodies again.

Toodle-ooh, old boy. Pip-pip, and all that kind of jazz.

You know, this is a nice place to visit

but I wouldn't want to live here.

I just hope this is really me.

If it's not, I'm really out of this world.