Original subtitles

♪ Touché away! ♪

♪ Touché away! ♪

♪ Touché away! ♪

Clackity Clackity Clackity

♪ It's Touché Turtle! ♪♪

Mirror mirror, on the wall

who is the ugliest pirate of them all?

Oh, you're the ugliest.

You're really ugly, Jolly Roger.

And who is the meanest of all?

Oh, they don't come any meaner than you.

And who's the toughest man on the seven seas?

As if I didn't know.

Well, it ain't you. It's some guy named Touché Turtle.

Touché Turtle? Why, you stupid mirror, you!

Well, gee

I just call 'em as I see 'em.

Operator, get me Touché Turtle.

Duh, d-do you think we'll ever

track down that pirate, Jolly Roger, Touché?

Well, Dum Dum, at least we narrowed the search down

to one ocean.

Oh, dear. Where did I put that phone?

Touché speaking. Who?

Jolly Roger? Yes, that's true.

I am rather fierce, uh, when I'm mad.

A challenge, huh? I accept.

Be right over.

Come, Dum Dum, he's just around the bend.

Touché away!

Oh, shucks, I forgot.

We'll have to paddle.

Wait here, Dum Dum, while I engage this pirate

in mortal combat.

Uh, gee, I thought y-you was gonna fight him.

Knock knock knock

Alright, Jolly Roger

come out with your hands up.

Touché Turtle, I presumes.

That's right. And I must warn you that anything you do

may be used against you.

Pardon me whilst I use you against you.

You know, of course, you're treading on dangerous ground.

What I need is some new strategy.

Oh, uh, Touché

might I have a word with you?

Excuse me, Dum Dum. He probably wants to apologize.

Yes, what do you want?

Just this.

Oh, no, you don't.

Oh, yes, I do.

No, you don't.

Yes, I do.

You don't, and that's final.

Boy, is he ever gonna get his.

No, Touché, not that!

You mustn't! Not your trusty sword!

I know, Dum Dum, but he forced me into it.

He has left me no choice.

You've pushed me too far, you pirate, you.

Choose your weapon, sir.

Had enough? I choose this one.

The poor pirate doesn't know

he's getting in deeper trouble all the time.

Oh, Touché, where are you?

Are you still the toughest bloke on the high seas?

Boy, is he ever in for a surprise.

Touché away!

- Oh, Touché? - Yes?

I think you missed.

If there's one thing I can't stand

it's a wiseguy pirate.

Swish swish

You may as well give up, Jolly Roger.

When it comes to swordplay, I'm unbeatable.

Perhaps you're right, Touché.

Uh, what do you say we bury the hatchet?

Clack clack clack

Oh, dear.

Bon voyage, Touché.

Duh, with ol' Jolly Roger's ship gone

he can't cause any more trouble, huh, Touché?

Correction.

Shall we walk the plank, you blokes?

Well, you have to admire

his determination anyway, Dum Dum.

Duh, yeah.

Hey, watch it! That thing's pointy!