Original subtitles

♪ Touché away ♪

♪ Touché away ♪

♪ Touché away ♪

♪ It's Touché Turtle ♪♪

Long, long ago in the days of knighthood

the black knight was a real hood

because he kidnapped a beautiful, young princess.

Oh, come on, Blacky-Boy, let me go, will you?

I wanna cut out.

I mean, like, I'm nothing to you, you know?

How come you always gotta play the big, bad hood?

You insecure or something?

Look, baby, somebody's gotta play the heavy bit.

Now, quit bugging me.

Well, could you loan me a dime? I should make a phone call.

Okay, so call already

just get off of my back, will you, doll?

Hello, operator? Get me Touché Turtle.

And reverse the charges.

Remember, Dum Dum

"a brave deed a day keeps evil away."

Oh, that's real poetic, Touché.

Then what's the brave deed for today?

We'll know as soon as I get the daily distress call.

Now, where did I put that phone?

Touché Turtle here.

What? A kidnapping caper?

Don't go away, I'll get right on it, ma'am.

It's a 602, kidnapping without a permit.

Quick, Dum Dum, my sword.

Thank you.

Touché away!

I must've "Touchéd" when I should have "awayed".

Crashing this castle will be a hassle, Dum Dum.

You case the rear, whilst storm the portal.

Oh, boy, Touché, that's keen strategy.

Okay, Mr. Black Knight

you better get grip on yourself.

I'm booking you on a 602.

I got a keener idea, shorty.

I'll get a grip on you.

Duh, what's a 602, Touché?

Oh, be quiet, Dum Dum.

This diabolical device is the ultimate weapon, Dum Dum.

It makes the Black Knight's weapons

as obsolete as the bow and arrow.

Hm, he is so right.

I discovered something about the Black Knight, Dum Dum.

Yeah, Touché, he's a big copycat.

Do not fear, princess dear, your rescuer is here.

Are you for real? You must be funnin'.

If I'd wanted a laugh, I'd have called Yogi Bear.

I need rescuing in the worst way.

That's the way I do it, lady.

Pardon my iron glove.

Duh, I think you got him scared, Touché.

I think you're right, Dum Dum.

He's scared, he's gonna kill me.

Stand clear, Dum Dum.

I'll have to resort to brute force to smash that door down.

Touché away!

Did you ever have one of those days

when everything goes wrong?

Duh, the way the Black Knight hangs on to the princess

you'd think they were married.

Married? Dum Dum, that's it!

No, no, not that!'

Let me outta here. Help!

Help! Help!

That wraps it up.

The Black Knight took off like a herd of birds.

Yeah, yeah, Touché.

But what did you say that scared him off like that?

Reverse psychology, Dum Dum.

I told him the princess was out to marry him.

How ridic.

Can you imagine a luscious doll like me

marrying a kook like Blacky?

I go for the hero type like you, Touché.

You cuddly little rascal, you.

Me?

I'm too young to go.

Touché away!

Come back, my hero!

Why fight it? It's bigger than both of us.

Come back, doll. Come back.

Oh, why wasn't I born rich instead of so handsome?