Original subtitles

♪ Touché away! ♪

♪ Touché away! ♪

♪ Touché away! ♪

♪ It's Touché Turtle! ♪♪

Woe is me. I have no husband.

Always a bridesmaid, but never a bride.

Now, now, Zuzu, don't cry.

Someday your Prince Charming will come along

on a white horse.

I'd settle for the horse.

Don't despair, Zuzu.

I'll ask Merlin the Magician

to use his magic to get you a husband.

My plan, oh, King, is to have a race

between a tortoise and a hare.

And the princess will marry the winner.

Gadzooks! I won't accept a tortoise

or a hare for my son-in-law.

But sire, I will turn the winner

into a handsome prince.

Well, that's better.

Guard! Fetch a tortoise and a hare

and let the race begin.

Are you sure you want to win the race

and turn into a handsome prince, Touché?

What have I got to lose, Dum Dum?

It's the least I can do for a damsel in distress.

Gosh, Touché

you're the greatest hero in the whole world.

Oh, I wouldn't say that, Dum Dum.

But I'm glad you did.

Hey, turtle, are you here to talk or to run a race?

Come on, let's get the show on the road.

Are the contestants ready, guard?

Better believe they are ready, sire.

Good. Contestants, on ye marks...

- ...get set... - This is it, turtle.

I'm gonna make you look like you was wearin' lead sneakers.

...go!

Here I go, Dum Dum.

Yeah. Touché...

...away!

Ooh, that hare-brained hare.

I'll show him.

Resting your feet, slow poke?

Yeah, resting my feet, turtle.

Oh, yeah?

Watch me break the sound barrier.

Yow!

A beehive!

Help!

Help! Help!

I'll never catch that turtle now

thanks to those bees.

Goody, I can see the finish line

where I shall turn into a handsome prince.

Duh, come on, Touché. Touché away!

The tortoise is winning, oh, beautiful princess.

What's the difference?

Hooray for whoever wins!

Duh, duh, that's a beautiful princess?

Hey, Touché!

Stop! Wait! Don't win, Touché!

- Don't win! - How come, Dum Dum?

Take a good look at the princess.

Okay, Dum Dum.

Holy mackerel. What a mackerel.

Come on, anybody! Go, go, go!

Egad, I've been had.

[Dum Dum] You can't win, Touché.

No, but I can sure lose.

Hey, I'm catching up with that turtle.

How come I'm winning? I don't get it.

You will.

You will.

The rabbit wins. Congratulations!

It was the least...

...a handsome prince could do.

Now, where is my beautiful princess?

Here I am, handsome

I'm all yours, you lucky prince, you.

Oh, no! And away I go!

Wait, you handsome prince, you!

Wait, wait, wait!

Boy, I'm glad you're not that handsome prince, Touché.

So am I, Dum Dum.

From now on, I'm happy just being a handsome turtle.