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1
00:00:02,569 --> 00:00:04,571
MORK: Nanu, nanu!
2
00:00:06,072 --> 00:00:08,574
( UPBEAT THEME PLAYING )
3
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( UPBEAT THEME PLAYING )
4
00:01:32,659 --> 00:01:35,161
Min? Oh, Min?
5
00:01:40,166 --> 00:01:42,167
Min?
6
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Min?
7
00:01:43,670 --> 00:01:45,170
Hi. I'm just filing my nails.
8
00:01:45,171 --> 00:01:47,673
Well, I bet you file them
under N, huh?
9
00:01:47,674 --> 00:01:49,675
Well, I have a little surprise
for you. Don't worry.
10
00:01:49,676 --> 00:01:51,176
What's that? Let me show you.
11
00:01:51,177 --> 00:01:52,678
This here. Heh-heh-heh.
12
00:01:55,181 --> 00:01:56,682
What is that?
13
00:01:57,684 --> 00:01:58,684
( GRUNTS )
14
00:01:58,685 --> 00:02:01,687
Well,
it's the tinfoil collection
15
00:02:01,688 --> 00:02:03,188
of the kids
at the daycare center.
16
00:02:03,189 --> 00:02:04,690
( CHUCKLES )
Kind of looks like a meteor
17
00:02:04,691 --> 00:02:06,191
from the planet Alcoa,
doesn't it?
18
00:02:06,192 --> 00:02:08,193
( GIGGLES ) Yeah.
19
00:02:08,194 --> 00:02:09,194
I can't think
of a better job for you
20
00:02:09,195 --> 00:02:11,196
than being a group leader
for a bunch of kids.
21
00:02:11,197 --> 00:02:13,198
Yeah, I am kind of
an expert in the field.
22
00:02:13,199 --> 00:02:14,199
Would you believe this?
23
00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:16,702
Some people say
I'm rather childlike myself.
24
00:02:16,703 --> 00:02:17,703
( CHUCKLES )
25
00:02:17,704 --> 00:02:19,705
Well, that's news. Yeah.
26
00:02:19,706 --> 00:02:21,206
( KNOCKING ON DOOR ) Race you!
27
00:02:21,207 --> 00:02:22,708
Ha-ha-ha!
28
00:02:24,210 --> 00:02:25,711
Hello, Mork.
29
00:02:25,712 --> 00:02:27,212
Hi, Mindy. Hi, Nelson.
30
00:02:27,213 --> 00:02:28,714
Nice ball of tin.
31
00:02:28,715 --> 00:02:32,718
May I take your coat?
I've always liked it. Ar-ar.
32
00:02:32,719 --> 00:02:36,722
( CHUCKLES ) Well, some, uh, interesting
development has transpired,
33
00:02:36,723 --> 00:02:39,725
and I'm proud as a peahen.
34
00:02:39,726 --> 00:02:41,727
I'm gonna give a speech
on television.
35
00:02:41,728 --> 00:02:43,729
( GASPS )
You're kidding! That's wonderful.
36
00:02:43,730 --> 00:02:45,731
I've worked
very, very hard on it,
37
00:02:45,732 --> 00:02:48,233
and I, uh, wanted to get
your reactions to it,
38
00:02:48,234 --> 00:02:49,735
what you think about it. Sure.
39
00:02:49,736 --> 00:02:51,236
Well, it looks nice from here.
Nice crease.
40
00:02:51,237 --> 00:02:53,739
A little albino origami, huh?
41
00:02:53,740 --> 00:02:56,241
I think he wants
to read it to us, Mork.
42
00:02:56,242 --> 00:02:58,243
Oh. Oh, dopey moi.
43
00:02:58,244 --> 00:03:00,245
Okay, go ahead, Nelson.
44
00:03:00,246 --> 00:03:02,247
( CLEARS THROAT )
45
00:03:02,248 --> 00:03:04,249
"What has happened to America?
46
00:03:04,250 --> 00:03:07,252
"People have been asking
that question a lot lately.
47
00:03:07,253 --> 00:03:10,255
"That's why I've decided
to look for a solution.
48
00:03:10,256 --> 00:03:12,758
"You see, I sense that
if there were a solution,
49
00:03:12,759 --> 00:03:14,259
"or solutions,
50
00:03:14,260 --> 00:03:16,762
"the energy that went
into asking that question
51
00:03:16,763 --> 00:03:18,263
"could be channeled
into the search
52
00:03:18,264 --> 00:03:20,265
for other solutions
to other questions."
53
00:03:20,266 --> 00:03:22,268
( SNORING )
54
00:03:23,770 --> 00:03:24,770
MINDY: Mork!
55
00:03:24,771 --> 00:03:26,772
That was my grabber.
56
00:03:26,773 --> 00:03:29,775
( GASPS )
Oh. Bravo. Author, author.
57
00:03:29,776 --> 00:03:31,276
I just… Just started.
58
00:03:31,277 --> 00:03:33,278
Oh. Um, how much longer is that?
59
00:03:33,279 --> 00:03:36,782
It runs for a full hour.
Want me to read faster?
60
00:03:36,783 --> 00:03:39,284
You got a full hour
on television?
61
00:03:39,285 --> 00:03:41,787
Well, my, uh, opponents
in the upcoming election
62
00:03:41,788 --> 00:03:43,288
were on a televised debate.
63
00:03:43,289 --> 00:03:45,791
Somehow I was snubbed.
64
00:03:45,792 --> 00:03:48,794
I suspect that
the station manager is like this
65
00:03:48,795 --> 00:03:50,796
with the other 12 candidates.
66
00:03:50,797 --> 00:03:53,799
Oh. So you got equal time
from the FCC?
67
00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:56,802
Mind, you don't have to spell
it. We're all adults here.
68
00:03:56,803 --> 00:03:59,805
The only snag is… Is that, uh,
69
00:03:59,806 --> 00:04:02,808
they gave me 7:00
Saturday morning.
70
00:04:02,809 --> 00:04:05,811
Not exactly a prime-o time-o.
71
00:04:05,812 --> 00:04:08,814
Not exactly? There's nobody
watching TV except kids.
72
00:04:08,815 --> 00:04:10,816
I'm hoping that they like
what I say about America
73
00:04:10,817 --> 00:04:12,317
and how to fix her,
74
00:04:12,318 --> 00:04:14,820
and then they'll tell
their parents to vote for me.
75
00:04:14,821 --> 00:04:16,822
Nelson, I don't think
that a political speech
76
00:04:16,823 --> 00:04:19,324
is exactly what kids
want to listen to.
77
00:04:19,325 --> 00:04:21,327
Well, you could always
do it in a chicken suit.
78
00:04:23,329 --> 00:04:24,830
If you want the kids
to pay attention to you,
79
00:04:24,831 --> 00:04:27,332
you've got to talk about
something they're interested in.
80
00:04:27,333 --> 00:04:28,834
I don't know what kids
want to hear.
81
00:04:28,835 --> 00:04:32,838
Hang, it's been years since
I was a cute little tyke.
82
00:04:32,839 --> 00:04:34,339
Tell you what.
I can help you out.
83
00:04:34,340 --> 00:04:36,842
I could go to the daycare center
and ask the tykes and tykettes
84
00:04:36,843 --> 00:04:38,844
what they want to see
on Saturday morning besides,
85
00:04:38,845 --> 00:04:40,846
( HIGH-PITCHED VOICE ):
"Yah! Whoa!"
86
00:04:40,847 --> 00:04:43,849
( AS PORKY PIG ): "Ba-dee-ba-dee-ba-dee-ba-dee,
that's all folks."
87
00:04:43,850 --> 00:04:46,853
I appreciate that, Mork.
Thanks a lot.
88
00:04:47,854 --> 00:04:51,356
Mindy, don't let him go.
89
00:04:51,357 --> 00:04:53,859
He's one special guy.
90
00:04:53,860 --> 00:04:56,361
Yes, he is.
91
00:04:56,362 --> 00:04:57,863
Well, see you later, Nelson.
92
00:04:57,864 --> 00:04:59,364
Okay, see you guys later.
93
00:04:59,365 --> 00:05:00,866
Okay.
94
00:05:00,867 --> 00:05:02,368
Ta-ta. Bye.
95
00:05:03,870 --> 00:05:05,871
Well, Mind, I was gonna
take that up to the attic,
96
00:05:05,872 --> 00:05:07,372
unless you would like it
as a little knickknack
97
00:05:07,373 --> 00:05:08,374
or a tchotchke.
98
00:05:10,376 --> 00:05:14,880
Well, Mork, my knickknack shelf
has a one-ton weight limit.
99
00:05:14,881 --> 00:05:16,381
I wanna know how you'll get that
upstairs.
100
00:05:16,382 --> 00:05:17,883
It was no trouble
bringing it home.
101
00:05:17,884 --> 00:05:19,384
Well, not exactly no trouble.
102
00:05:19,385 --> 00:05:22,387
You know that taco stand at the
bottom of that real steep hill?
103
00:05:22,388 --> 00:05:23,889
Yes.
104
00:05:23,890 --> 00:05:25,390
Well, it has a drive-through
service now.
105
00:05:25,391 --> 00:05:27,393
( UPBEAT THEME PLAYING )
106
00:05:32,899 --> 00:05:35,901
That's a nice pinecone turkey
you're making, Grant.
107
00:05:35,902 --> 00:05:37,402
Thanks, Mrs. Thompson.
108
00:05:37,403 --> 00:05:40,405
Mrs. Thompson, can you
jump sideways in checkers?
109
00:05:40,406 --> 00:05:41,406
No, Pamela.
110
00:05:41,407 --> 00:05:43,409
Shazbat!
111
00:05:44,911 --> 00:05:47,913
Well, Jack, this is
an interesting painting.
112
00:05:47,914 --> 00:05:48,914
You know what it is?
113
00:05:48,915 --> 00:05:49,915
A tree.
114
00:05:49,916 --> 00:05:51,417
It's a picture of you.
115
00:05:53,419 --> 00:05:55,420
You know, it does
sort of look like me,
116
00:05:55,421 --> 00:05:58,423
except for that branch
growing out of my ear.
117
00:05:58,424 --> 00:06:00,426
- I knew you'd like it.
- ( GIGGLES )
118
00:06:01,427 --> 00:06:02,928
Greetings, munchkins.
119
00:06:02,929 --> 00:06:04,429
ALL: Nanu, nanu!
120
00:06:04,430 --> 00:06:05,931
Aw, shucks and wazoo.
121
00:06:05,932 --> 00:06:07,432
( LAUGHS )
122
00:06:07,433 --> 00:06:09,935
The kids sure have
taken to you, Mork.
123
00:06:09,936 --> 00:06:12,437
Oh, I like them too. I'd like
to rent one if I could.
124
00:06:12,438 --> 00:06:15,440
I also feel good
about helping working moms.
125
00:06:15,441 --> 00:06:17,442
Well, I'll be in my office.
Have fun.
126
00:06:17,443 --> 00:06:18,944
Thank you.
127
00:06:19,946 --> 00:06:22,447
Picasso, eh?
128
00:06:22,448 --> 00:06:23,949
Mork, would you do
that magic trick again?
129
00:06:23,950 --> 00:06:25,450
ALL: Yeah!
130
00:06:25,451 --> 00:06:26,952
All right, no pressure.
131
00:06:32,458 --> 00:06:34,960
( IMITATES BAND PLAYING
FANFARE MUSIC )
132
00:06:34,961 --> 00:06:36,963
( GURGLING )
133
00:06:40,967 --> 00:06:42,468
( BURPS )
134
00:06:45,972 --> 00:06:48,974
I can drink like that. You can?
135
00:06:48,975 --> 00:06:50,976
Yes, but I do it with my mouth.
136
00:06:50,977 --> 00:06:53,478
Oh, sleight of tongue, eh?
137
00:06:53,479 --> 00:06:54,980
Munchkins, I-I need your help.
138
00:06:54,981 --> 00:06:57,483
I have to ask you a few
questions, if you don't mind.
139
00:06:58,985 --> 00:07:01,486
See, I have this friend
who's giving a speech
140
00:07:01,487 --> 00:07:02,988
on Saturday-morning television.
141
00:07:02,989 --> 00:07:04,489
He likes to know
what you think…
142
00:07:04,490 --> 00:07:05,490
What would you like him to say?
143
00:07:05,491 --> 00:07:06,492
Nothing.
144
00:07:08,494 --> 00:07:09,995
Yeah, we get enough speeches
at home.
145
00:07:09,996 --> 00:07:12,497
Well, what would you like
to see on Saturday mornings?
146
00:07:12,498 --> 00:07:13,999
The Dallas cheerleaders.
147
00:07:16,002 --> 00:07:17,502
I like puppets.
148
00:07:17,503 --> 00:07:18,503
I like jokes.
149
00:07:18,504 --> 00:07:20,005
Rock 'n' roll!
150
00:07:20,006 --> 00:07:22,007
I'd like to see Dick Cavett
151
00:07:22,008 --> 00:07:25,011
interview the prime minister
of Rhodesia.
152
00:07:27,513 --> 00:07:29,014
Pardon me?
153
00:07:29,015 --> 00:07:30,515
I can't help it.
154
00:07:30,516 --> 00:07:33,018
I'm gifted.
155
00:07:35,021 --> 00:07:38,523
I wanna find out
where babies come from.
156
00:07:38,524 --> 00:07:41,026
Well, if you find out,
will you tell me?
157
00:07:41,027 --> 00:07:43,029
( UPBEAT THEME PLAYING )
158
00:07:46,532 --> 00:07:48,033
They also want
to see you juggle,
159
00:07:48,034 --> 00:07:50,535
and some magic, lion taming.
160
00:07:50,536 --> 00:07:53,038
Sure. You have a talent.
161
00:07:53,039 --> 00:07:55,540
I can't do nary a thing
on that list.
162
00:07:55,541 --> 00:07:57,042
Nelson was never
what you might call
163
00:07:57,043 --> 00:07:59,044
the entertainer of the family.
164
00:07:59,045 --> 00:08:00,545
Last time I got applause
165
00:08:00,546 --> 00:08:04,049
is when I used the potty
without being reminded.
166
00:08:05,051 --> 00:08:09,054
I think I just better go
with my strength:
167
00:08:09,055 --> 00:08:11,556
Dull speeches.
168
00:08:11,557 --> 00:08:13,058
The little rug rats
don't want to watch me,
169
00:08:13,059 --> 00:08:15,560
let 'em switch
to Mooky the Mongoose.
170
00:08:15,561 --> 00:08:18,063
You don't have to fill this
entire hour by yourself, do you?
171
00:08:18,064 --> 00:08:19,564
What are you driving at?
172
00:08:19,565 --> 00:08:21,566
Well, maybe we could help.
I mean, we've got friends.
173
00:08:21,567 --> 00:08:23,568
Yeah, I know some guys
in a band and…
174
00:08:23,569 --> 00:08:25,070
And Remo tells jokes.
175
00:08:25,071 --> 00:08:27,572
Yeah, Mindy can sing.
And Jeanie dances.
176
00:08:27,573 --> 00:08:28,573
Listen to us. We sound like
177
00:08:28,574 --> 00:08:30,075
an old Judy Garland/
Mickey Rooney movie.
178
00:08:30,076 --> 00:08:32,077
( AS MICKEY ROONEY ):
Kids, let's put on a show!
179
00:08:32,078 --> 00:08:34,079
With a little imagination,
we could turn the new theater
180
00:08:34,080 --> 00:08:35,580
into an old barn!
181
00:08:35,581 --> 00:08:37,082
I don't know.
182
00:08:38,084 --> 00:08:40,085
It sounds kind of wacky.
183
00:08:40,086 --> 00:08:43,088
Who'd want to watch a bunch
of amateurs put on a show?
184
00:08:43,089 --> 00:08:45,091
Peeping Toms.
185
00:08:46,592 --> 00:08:48,593
I guess it is
kind of a silly idea.
186
00:08:48,594 --> 00:08:50,595
What am I gonna do?
187
00:08:50,596 --> 00:08:51,596
Come on, Nelson,
you can't give up.
188
00:08:51,597 --> 00:08:53,098
Mind, we've got to help him.
189
00:08:53,099 --> 00:08:54,099
Nelson, you might not have to be
190
00:08:54,100 --> 00:08:56,101
that professional
at 7 in the morning.
191
00:08:56,102 --> 00:08:58,103
Do you really think
if I put on a kids' show,
192
00:08:58,104 --> 00:08:59,104
people would like me?
193
00:08:59,105 --> 00:09:01,107
Yeah. Maybe.
194
00:09:02,108 --> 00:09:04,109
By gum, let's do it.
195
00:09:04,110 --> 00:09:07,112
It'll be Nelson Flavor's gift
to the children of Boulder.
196
00:09:07,113 --> 00:09:09,114
Oh, huzzah, huzzah!
Let's go for the gusto!
197
00:09:09,115 --> 00:09:10,615
I can see…
198
00:09:10,616 --> 00:09:12,117
Oh, there's…
There's one problem.
199
00:09:12,118 --> 00:09:13,618
What?
200
00:09:13,619 --> 00:09:16,121
Well, I'll miss
Mooky the Mongoose.
201
00:09:16,122 --> 00:09:20,125
Oh, you. You nutty guy!
202
00:09:20,126 --> 00:09:22,127
( UPBEAT THEME PLAYING )
203
00:09:22,128 --> 00:09:23,628
MINDY:
Okay, who wants to go next?
204
00:09:23,629 --> 00:09:26,131
Well, I'll give it a try.
205
00:09:26,132 --> 00:09:27,633
Thanks.
206
00:09:28,634 --> 00:09:30,635
Ooh. Good. Whoa.
207
00:09:30,636 --> 00:09:32,638
Whoo. Yea!
208
00:09:34,640 --> 00:09:36,641
I learned to juggle in the Army.
209
00:09:36,642 --> 00:09:38,644
I used to do this
with hand grenades.
210
00:09:41,647 --> 00:09:43,148
That's how I got out.
211
00:09:43,149 --> 00:09:44,649
( ALL LAUGH )
212
00:09:44,650 --> 00:09:45,650
♪ La-la-la ♪
213
00:09:45,651 --> 00:09:48,153
( ALL LAUGH )
214
00:09:48,154 --> 00:09:50,655
This could be the start
of something small.
215
00:09:50,656 --> 00:09:52,157
I think the audience
will enjoy it.
216
00:09:52,158 --> 00:09:53,658
What audience?
217
00:09:53,659 --> 00:09:55,160
I invited the kids
from the daycare center.
218
00:09:55,161 --> 00:09:56,161
I hope you don't mind, Nelson.
219
00:09:56,162 --> 00:09:58,663
Ah, that's okay.
220
00:09:58,664 --> 00:10:01,166
What's wrong, Nelson?
221
00:10:01,167 --> 00:10:02,667
Well, it's just that
222
00:10:02,668 --> 00:10:06,171
everybody's got something
nifty to do except me.
223
00:10:06,172 --> 00:10:07,172
If it goes well,
the kids will think
224
00:10:07,173 --> 00:10:10,675
you're the next best thing
to dead bugs.
225
00:10:10,676 --> 00:10:11,676
You're a good buddy, Mork.
226
00:10:11,677 --> 00:10:13,678
I'm glad I appointed you
to be the host.
227
00:10:13,679 --> 00:10:16,181
Mork is gonna host
the entire hour?
228
00:10:16,182 --> 00:10:18,683
Well, he has a firm grasp
229
00:10:18,684 --> 00:10:21,686
of juvenile-attitude preference.
230
00:10:21,687 --> 00:10:24,189
He means Mork knows
what kids like.
231
00:10:24,190 --> 00:10:25,690
Yeah. I think they'll like
what I'm doing.
232
00:10:25,691 --> 00:10:27,692
I'm gonna start it like this.
233
00:10:27,693 --> 00:10:31,696
( HUMMING FRED ROGERS'
"WON'T YOU BE MY NEIGHBOR?" )
234
00:10:31,697 --> 00:10:34,199
( AS MR. ROGERS ):
♪ Have a beautiful day ♪
235
00:10:36,202 --> 00:10:38,204
♪ Have a wonderful day ♪
236
00:10:39,705 --> 00:10:41,206
Hello, neighbors.
237
00:10:41,207 --> 00:10:43,209
Welcome to my neighborhood.
238
00:10:46,212 --> 00:10:48,213
Do you like my sweater?
It's ten years old.
239
00:10:48,214 --> 00:10:49,714
( ALL LAUGHING )
240
00:10:49,715 --> 00:10:52,217
I got it at the ABC thrift shop.
241
00:10:54,220 --> 00:10:56,221
Well,
242
00:10:56,222 --> 00:10:58,723
today we're gonna learn
lots of wonderful things.
243
00:10:58,724 --> 00:11:01,727
We're gonna learn why cows
moo for certain bulls.
244
00:11:04,730 --> 00:11:08,233
And the big lesson for today
is how to make your cat longer.
245
00:11:09,235 --> 00:11:12,737
Can you say, "Meow-w"?
246
00:11:12,738 --> 00:11:14,239
( UPBEAT THEME PLAYING )
247
00:11:19,245 --> 00:11:21,247
( UPBEAT THEME PLAYING )
248
00:11:23,249 --> 00:11:25,250
( ALL CHEERING )
249
00:11:25,251 --> 00:11:27,253
( PLAYFUL PIANO MUSIC PLAYING )
250
00:11:30,756 --> 00:11:32,257
( AS MR. ROGERS ):
Thank you, Uncle Remo,
251
00:11:32,258 --> 00:11:34,259
for those wonderful
knock-knock jokes.
252
00:11:34,260 --> 00:11:36,762
Weren't those funny,
boys and girls?
253
00:11:37,763 --> 00:11:40,265
I guess not, huh?
254
00:11:40,266 --> 00:11:41,766
Come on over
to my neighborhood now.
255
00:11:41,767 --> 00:11:44,269
There's someone special
I'd like you to meet.
256
00:11:44,270 --> 00:11:46,772
( PLAYING PLAYFUL PIANO MUSIC )
257
00:11:48,774 --> 00:11:51,276
Thank you, Mr. Piano Man,
for tinkling on the keys.
258
00:11:53,279 --> 00:11:54,780
Let's see if my friend's home.
259
00:11:56,282 --> 00:11:58,283
Mr. Weasel?
260
00:11:58,284 --> 00:12:00,285
I'll see if he's in there.
261
00:12:00,286 --> 00:12:01,286
( SNARLING )
262
00:12:01,287 --> 00:12:02,787
I guess he is.
263
00:12:02,788 --> 00:12:05,290
Come on out, Mr. Weasel.
264
00:12:05,291 --> 00:12:07,792
Here he is. Hello, Mr. Weasel.
265
00:12:07,793 --> 00:12:10,795
( WITH ACCENT ):
Hi, Mr. Mork. Nice to be on your show.
266
00:12:10,796 --> 00:12:12,297
Yeah. What are you
here for today?
267
00:12:12,298 --> 00:12:14,299
Why have you come over
to my neighborhood?
268
00:12:14,300 --> 00:12:15,800
Because I want to talk to you
269
00:12:15,801 --> 00:12:18,303
about a wonderful man
called Nelson Flavor.
270
00:12:18,304 --> 00:12:20,305
Well, that'd be wonderful.
271
00:12:20,306 --> 00:12:22,807
Let's sit down and chat.
We'll talk about it.
272
00:12:22,808 --> 00:12:24,809
What's this man Nelson…
273
00:12:24,810 --> 00:12:26,811
Whoa!
274
00:12:26,812 --> 00:12:28,814
There goes the neighborhood.
275
00:12:33,319 --> 00:12:34,319
Oh, yeah.
276
00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:35,320
Well, Mr. Weasel,
277
00:12:35,321 --> 00:12:36,821
you'll have to give
a big introduction
278
00:12:36,822 --> 00:12:40,325
while I scrape the neighbors
off my pants.
279
00:12:40,326 --> 00:12:41,326
You ready?
280
00:12:41,327 --> 00:12:43,328
Yes, Mr. Mork.
281
00:12:43,329 --> 00:12:45,830
Right here on our show,
282
00:12:45,831 --> 00:12:47,832
let's bring her out here
right now.
283
00:12:47,833 --> 00:12:49,334
Miss Mindy McConnell!
Come on out!
284
00:12:49,335 --> 00:12:51,337
- Put a big hand together, kids!
- Yea!
285
00:12:54,840 --> 00:12:56,341
( CHUCKLES )
286
00:12:56,342 --> 00:12:58,843
Okay, now, I'm going to teach
you all a little lesson,
287
00:12:58,844 --> 00:13:00,345
so I want you all
to gather around.
288
00:13:01,847 --> 00:13:03,348
( GIGGLING )
289
00:13:04,850 --> 00:13:07,852
And I want you
to repeat after me…
290
00:13:07,853 --> 00:13:09,354
( PIANO PLAYING
"I WON'T GROW UP" )
291
00:13:09,355 --> 00:13:10,855
♪ I won't grow up ♪
292
00:13:10,856 --> 00:13:12,357
ALL: ♪ I won't grow up ♪
293
00:13:12,358 --> 00:13:13,858
♪ I don't wanna go to school ♪
294
00:13:13,859 --> 00:13:15,360
ALL:
♪ I don't wanna go to school ♪
295
00:13:15,361 --> 00:13:16,861
♪ Just to learn To be a parrot ♪
296
00:13:16,862 --> 00:13:18,363
ALL:
♪ Just to learn to be a parrot ♪
297
00:13:18,364 --> 00:13:19,864
♪ And recite a silly rule ♪
298
00:13:19,865 --> 00:13:21,366
ALL: ♪ And recite a silly rule ♪
299
00:13:21,367 --> 00:13:24,869
♪ If growing up
Means it would be ♪
300
00:13:24,870 --> 00:13:27,372
♪ Beneath my dignity
To climb a tree ♪
301
00:13:27,373 --> 00:13:29,874
♪ I'll never grow up
Never grow up ♪
302
00:13:29,875 --> 00:13:32,877
♪ Never grow u-up, not me ♪
303
00:13:32,878 --> 00:13:34,379
♪ Not I ♪
304
00:13:34,380 --> 00:13:35,880
♪ Not me ♪
305
00:13:35,881 --> 00:13:37,382
ALL: ♪ Not me ♪
306
00:13:37,383 --> 00:13:38,883
MINDY: ♪ I won't grow up ♪
307
00:13:38,884 --> 00:13:40,385
ALL: ♪ I won't grow up ♪
308
00:13:40,386 --> 00:13:41,386
♪ I don't wanna wear a tie ♪
309
00:13:41,387 --> 00:13:42,887
ALL:
♪ I don't wanna wear a tie ♪
310
00:13:42,888 --> 00:13:44,389
♪ Or a serious expression ♪
311
00:13:44,390 --> 00:13:45,890
ALL: ♪ Or a serious expression ♪
312
00:13:45,891 --> 00:13:47,392
♪ In the middle of July ♪
313
00:13:47,393 --> 00:13:48,893
ALL: ♪ In the middle of July ♪
314
00:13:48,894 --> 00:13:51,896
♪ And if it means
I must prepare ♪
315
00:13:51,897 --> 00:13:54,899
♪ To shoulder burdens
With a worried air ♪
316
00:13:54,900 --> 00:13:56,901
♪ I'll never grow up
Never grow up ♪
317
00:13:56,902 --> 00:13:59,904
♪ Never grow u-up, so there ♪
318
00:13:59,905 --> 00:14:01,406
♪ Not I ♪
319
00:14:01,407 --> 00:14:02,907
♪ Not me ♪
320
00:14:02,908 --> 00:14:04,909
ALL: ♪ So there ♪
321
00:14:04,910 --> 00:14:07,412
♪ Never gonna be a man I won't ♪
322
00:14:07,413 --> 00:14:10,415
♪ I'd like to see somebody
Try and make me ♪
323
00:14:10,416 --> 00:14:14,419
♪ Anyone who wants to try
And make me turn into a man ♪
324
00:14:14,420 --> 00:14:16,921
♪ Catch me if you can
I won't grow up ♪
325
00:14:16,922 --> 00:14:17,922
ALL: ♪ I won't grow up ♪
326
00:14:17,923 --> 00:14:19,924
♪ Not a penny will I pinch ♪
327
00:14:19,925 --> 00:14:20,925
ALL:
♪ Not a penny will I pinch ♪
328
00:14:20,926 --> 00:14:22,427
♪ I will never grow A mustache ♪
329
00:14:22,428 --> 00:14:23,928
ALL:
♪ I will never grow a mustache ♪
330
00:14:23,929 --> 00:14:24,929
♪ Or a fraction of an inch ♪
331
00:14:24,930 --> 00:14:26,431
ALL:
♪ Or a fraction of an inch ♪
332
00:14:26,432 --> 00:14:30,935
♪ 'Cause growing up
Is awfuller ♪
333
00:14:30,936 --> 00:14:34,939
♪ Than all the awful things
That ever were ♪
334
00:14:34,940 --> 00:14:38,443
♪ I'll never grow up
Never grow up ♪
335
00:14:38,444 --> 00:14:40,445
♪ Never grow u-up, no, sir ♪
336
00:14:40,446 --> 00:14:41,946
♪ Not I ♪ ♪ Not me ♪
337
00:14:41,947 --> 00:14:42,947
ALL: ♪ No, sir ♪
338
00:14:42,948 --> 00:14:44,449
♪ So there ♪
339
00:14:51,957 --> 00:14:55,960
And now for the second movement
of the Frog Lake ballet.
340
00:14:55,961 --> 00:14:58,463
( PIANO PLAYING THEME FROM PETER
TCHAIKOVSKY'S SWAN LAKE )
341
00:16:16,542 --> 00:16:19,044
( CHEERING )
342
00:16:21,547 --> 00:16:23,548
We'll be back to our show
in just a moment,
343
00:16:23,549 --> 00:16:25,550
but first,
this important message.
344
00:16:25,551 --> 00:16:28,052
I'd like to talk to you about
a future leader of this country.
345
00:16:28,053 --> 00:16:31,556
Our graphics courtesy of
the Pinetree Daycare Center.
346
00:16:31,557 --> 00:16:34,058
ALL: Yea!
347
00:16:34,059 --> 00:16:37,061
I'm talking about Nelson Flavor,
348
00:16:37,062 --> 00:16:39,564
a man of substance.
349
00:16:41,066 --> 00:16:42,567
Why do I like him?
350
00:16:42,568 --> 00:16:46,572
Because he has a vision
of what America should be.
351
00:16:49,575 --> 00:16:52,578
REMO: So remember this face.
352
00:16:55,080 --> 00:16:57,082
Our future depends on it.
353
00:17:02,087 --> 00:17:05,090
And, uh, tell your folks
Remo sent you.
354
00:17:09,595 --> 00:17:11,597
( PIANO PLAYING
MELANCHOLY MUSIC )
355
00:17:16,101 --> 00:17:18,603
( HIGH-PITCHED VOICE ):
Give me another soda, Joe.
356
00:17:20,105 --> 00:17:22,607
That's your fourth. Don't you
think you had enough?
357
00:17:22,608 --> 00:17:24,609
I'm drinking to forget, Joe.
358
00:17:24,610 --> 00:17:27,111
Please, Billy, you know
what it does to your complexion.
359
00:17:27,112 --> 00:17:28,613
MORK: Ah.
360
00:17:28,614 --> 00:17:31,616
I don't care.
I wanna drown my sorrows.
361
00:17:31,617 --> 00:17:33,117
( SLURPING )
362
00:17:33,118 --> 00:17:34,619
Care to talk about it?
363
00:17:34,620 --> 00:17:36,621
Oh, all right.
364
00:17:36,622 --> 00:17:39,123
It's this girl named Susie.
365
00:17:39,124 --> 00:17:42,126
She sits across from me
in Miss Zimmerman's class.
366
00:17:42,127 --> 00:17:43,628
You like her?
367
00:17:43,629 --> 00:17:45,130
Maybe.
368
00:17:46,632 --> 00:17:48,132
Does she like you?
369
00:17:48,133 --> 00:17:50,134
Give me the soda.
370
00:17:50,135 --> 00:17:54,138
I get it. A classic case
of unrequited like.
371
00:17:54,139 --> 00:17:56,641
Yeah, yeah, that's it.
372
00:17:56,642 --> 00:17:59,143
Well, the trouble is… Well,
373
00:17:59,144 --> 00:18:03,148
she likes a guy named
Mikie Farquaharquaharquahar.
374
00:18:04,149 --> 00:18:05,650
How do you know?
375
00:18:05,651 --> 00:18:07,151
Well, she throws spitballs
at him
376
00:18:07,152 --> 00:18:08,653
and calls him a "neeny brain."
377
00:18:10,155 --> 00:18:11,656
BICKLEY:
Wanna know a secret, Billy?
378
00:18:11,657 --> 00:18:14,659
When I was your age,
I liked someone too.
379
00:18:14,660 --> 00:18:16,160
Her name was Mary Lou.
380
00:18:16,161 --> 00:18:18,162
She was special.
381
00:18:18,163 --> 00:18:23,168
When I was with her,
I felt 4 feet tall.
382
00:18:25,170 --> 00:18:27,672
I wanted to share
everything I had with her.
383
00:18:27,673 --> 00:18:30,174
But she broke up with me
because she didn't like
384
00:18:30,175 --> 00:18:31,676
what I gave her for Christmas.
385
00:18:31,677 --> 00:18:32,677
Well, what did you give her?
386
00:18:32,678 --> 00:18:35,179
Chicken pox.
387
00:18:35,180 --> 00:18:38,182
Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah.
388
00:18:38,183 --> 00:18:42,186
Doggone, that's the way
I like to see you, Billy.
389
00:18:42,187 --> 00:18:45,190
Oh, thanks, Joe, I…
I think I can make it now.
390
00:18:46,191 --> 00:18:47,692
Ah…
391
00:18:47,693 --> 00:18:50,194
Here you go, you big palooka.
392
00:18:50,195 --> 00:18:53,698
Buy yourself a Tonka toy.
393
00:18:53,699 --> 00:18:55,200
( PIANO PLAYING
MELANCHOLY MUSIC )
394
00:18:58,704 --> 00:19:00,205
( IMITATES GUNSHOT )
395
00:19:16,221 --> 00:19:18,223
( CHEERING )
396
00:19:19,725 --> 00:19:21,225
( CHUCKLING )
397
00:19:21,226 --> 00:19:22,727
( BAND PLAYING
SLOW BLUES MUSIC )
398
00:19:22,728 --> 00:19:24,730
( LOW VOICE ):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
399
00:19:26,732 --> 00:19:28,733
Nanu, nanu, munchkins.
400
00:19:28,734 --> 00:19:30,234
ALL: Nanu, nanu!
401
00:19:30,235 --> 00:19:32,236
Ha, ha. You got it.
402
00:19:32,237 --> 00:19:34,239
Let's get down.
403
00:19:35,240 --> 00:19:37,241
Get back up again.
404
00:19:37,242 --> 00:19:40,244
We're gonna sing some music
right now for ya,
405
00:19:40,245 --> 00:19:42,246
but about things
that make you feel bad.
406
00:19:42,247 --> 00:19:44,248
If somethin' makes you feel bad,
407
00:19:44,249 --> 00:19:47,752
when I point my magic finger
at you, you say, "Shazbat."
408
00:19:47,753 --> 00:19:49,253
( CHUCKLES )
409
00:19:49,254 --> 00:19:52,757
That's why we're gonna wail
"The Shazbat Blues."
410
00:19:52,758 --> 00:19:54,258
( PLAYS HARMONICA )
411
00:19:54,259 --> 00:19:56,261
♪ Your mama tells you ♪
412
00:19:57,262 --> 00:19:59,264
♪ To cut out the sweets ♪
413
00:20:00,265 --> 00:20:02,266
♪ Then she tells you ♪
414
00:20:02,267 --> 00:20:05,269
♪ To eat your beets ♪
415
00:20:05,270 --> 00:20:06,270
Heh-heh.
416
00:20:06,271 --> 00:20:08,773
What's that make you feel,
little ones?
417
00:20:08,774 --> 00:20:09,774
ALL: Shazbat!
418
00:20:09,775 --> 00:20:12,777
Ha-ha-ha! You got it now.
419
00:20:12,778 --> 00:20:14,780
( PLAYING BLUES MUSIC
ON HARMONICA )
420
00:20:18,283 --> 00:20:19,784
♪ "Don't jump fences ♪
421
00:20:21,286 --> 00:20:22,787
♪ "Don't climb trees ♪
422
00:20:23,789 --> 00:20:26,290
♪ "Don't sleep with the dog ♪
423
00:20:26,291 --> 00:20:30,294
♪ Or else you'll get fleas" ♪
424
00:20:30,295 --> 00:20:33,297
Ha-ha. What's this world
full of, little munchkins?
425
00:20:33,298 --> 00:20:34,298
ALL: Shazbat!
426
00:20:34,299 --> 00:20:35,800
Ha-ha-ha-ha!
427
00:20:35,801 --> 00:20:37,802
We're on a roll now.
428
00:20:37,803 --> 00:20:39,304
( PLAYING BLUES MUSIC
ON HARMONICA )
429
00:20:42,307 --> 00:20:43,808
♪ Green, green veggies ♪
430
00:20:44,810 --> 00:20:46,311
♪ Are good for you ♪
431
00:20:47,813 --> 00:20:49,313
♪ Tell me how come ♪
432
00:20:49,314 --> 00:20:52,817
♪ They don't make
Ice-cream stew ♪
433
00:20:52,818 --> 00:20:54,318
Ow!
434
00:20:54,319 --> 00:20:56,821
- What's that we're talkin' about?
- You know.
435
00:20:56,822 --> 00:20:57,822
ALL: Shazbat!
436
00:20:57,823 --> 00:20:59,323
( CACKLING )
437
00:20:59,324 --> 00:21:00,825
Yo!
438
00:21:00,826 --> 00:21:02,828
( PLAYING BLUES MUSIC
ON HARMONICA )
439
00:21:05,330 --> 00:21:06,831
♪ You ask your mama ♪
440
00:21:08,333 --> 00:21:10,335
♪ If you came from the stork ♪
441
00:21:11,336 --> 00:21:13,838
♪ She says "No, little baby ♪"
442
00:21:13,839 --> 00:21:16,340
( HIGH-PITCHED VOICE ): ♪ You came
from a test tube Topped with a cork" ♪
443
00:21:16,341 --> 00:21:17,842
Ha-ha-ha!
444
00:21:17,843 --> 00:21:21,846
♪ That's why I'm singin' The… ♪
445
00:21:21,847 --> 00:21:23,347
ALL: Shazbat!
446
00:21:23,348 --> 00:21:25,350
♪ Blu-u-es ♪
447
00:21:29,354 --> 00:21:31,356
( PLAYING BLUES MUSIC
ON HARMONICA )
448
00:21:34,860 --> 00:21:37,362
( ALL CHEERING )
449
00:21:53,879 --> 00:21:56,380
My name is Nelson Flavor.
450
00:21:56,381 --> 00:21:57,882
( CLEARS THROAT )
451
00:21:57,883 --> 00:22:01,385
"What has happened to America?
452
00:22:01,386 --> 00:22:03,388
People have been asking that…"
453
00:22:04,389 --> 00:22:06,390
I can't do this speech.
454
00:22:06,391 --> 00:22:08,893
This is the wrong time
and place.
455
00:22:08,894 --> 00:22:10,394
You know why?
456
00:22:10,395 --> 00:22:12,396
Because you've all helped me
remember what it's like
457
00:22:12,397 --> 00:22:14,398
to be a kid again.
458
00:22:14,399 --> 00:22:17,902
I've had the best morning
of my entire life.
459
00:22:17,903 --> 00:22:21,405
I can't give a speech
and wreck all the fun now.
460
00:22:21,406 --> 00:22:23,407
ALL: Yea!
461
00:22:23,408 --> 00:22:25,409
They love me!
462
00:22:25,410 --> 00:22:26,911
They're gonna tell
their parents!
463
00:22:26,912 --> 00:22:28,913
People are gonna vote
for this chicken yet!
464
00:22:28,914 --> 00:22:31,416
( "BATTLE HYMN OF THE REPUBLIC"
PLAYING )
465
00:22:33,418 --> 00:22:35,920
ALL: ♪ Glory, glory ♪
466
00:22:35,921 --> 00:22:38,923
♪ Nelson Flavor ♪
467
00:22:38,924 --> 00:22:43,929
♪ His truth goes Marching on-n ♪
468
00:22:53,438 --> 00:22:54,939
( MYSTERIOUS THEME PLAYING )
469
00:22:56,942 --> 00:23:00,444
Mork calling Orson.
Come in, Orson.
470
00:23:00,445 --> 00:23:01,946
Mork calling Orson.
471
00:23:01,947 --> 00:23:04,949
Come in, Orson.
472
00:23:04,950 --> 00:23:07,952
( HIGH-PITCHED VOICE ):
Mork calling Orson.
473
00:23:07,953 --> 00:23:09,954
Oh, there's
Your Humpty Dumptyness.
474
00:23:09,955 --> 00:23:11,956
ORSON:
Just give me your report, Mork.
475
00:23:11,957 --> 00:23:13,457
( NORMAL VOICE ): Yes, sir.
476
00:23:13,458 --> 00:23:14,959
This week, sir,
I learned about teamwork.
477
00:23:14,960 --> 00:23:17,461
My friend Nelson Flavor asked
for an hour of television time,
478
00:23:17,462 --> 00:23:19,463
but once he got it, he didn't
know what to do with it,
479
00:23:19,464 --> 00:23:21,465
so his friends and I
had to bail him out.
480
00:23:21,466 --> 00:23:23,968
Tell me,
how did you help your friend?
481
00:23:23,969 --> 00:23:26,470
Well, I hosted his television
show. You know, like:
482
00:23:26,471 --> 00:23:27,972
( HUMS THEME
FROM THE TONIGHT SHOW )
483
00:23:27,973 --> 00:23:30,474
And, uh, it was for children.
They really seemed to enjoy it.
484
00:23:30,475 --> 00:23:31,976
Children? Sir.
485
00:23:31,977 --> 00:23:33,477
What do you know
about children, Mork?
486
00:23:33,478 --> 00:23:35,479
Well, sir, some people
think of them as children,
487
00:23:35,480 --> 00:23:37,481
but I prefer to think of them
as humans.
488
00:23:37,482 --> 00:23:38,983
There's an older phrase, sir,
that says,
489
00:23:38,984 --> 00:23:40,985
"Children should
be seen and not heard."
490
00:23:40,986 --> 00:23:42,486
But I think if that
really happened,
491
00:23:42,487 --> 00:23:43,988
the silence would be deafening.
492
00:23:43,989 --> 00:23:46,991
But children's minds
aren't fully developed yet.
493
00:23:46,992 --> 00:23:49,493
Isn't it best
they be kept in their place?
494
00:23:49,494 --> 00:23:50,995
Sir. Just because
they're children
495
00:23:50,996 --> 00:23:52,997
doesn't mean they don't have
anything of value to say.
496
00:23:52,998 --> 00:23:54,498
I mean, give 'em a chance.
Listen to them.
497
00:23:54,499 --> 00:23:56,000
If you're only gonna
talk down to them,
498
00:23:56,001 --> 00:23:58,002
how can you expect them
to look up to you?
499
00:23:58,003 --> 00:24:00,004
Well, sir, until next week,
500
00:24:00,005 --> 00:24:01,505
( AS MR. ROGERS ):
Can you say, "Nanu, nanu"?
501
00:24:01,506 --> 00:24:03,508
I think you can.
502
00:24:06,978 --> 00:24:09,513
( UPBEAT THEME PLAYING )
33794
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