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1
00:00:02,569 --> 00:00:04,571
MORK: Nanu, nanu!
2
00:00:08,575 --> 00:00:10,577
( UPBEAT THEME PLAYING )
3
00:01:36,162 --> 00:01:38,664
I don't think you need
any more than that.
4
00:01:38,665 --> 00:01:41,166
Mindy, I can't thank you
enough for helping me
5
00:01:41,167 --> 00:01:42,668
with all the wedding plans.
6
00:01:42,669 --> 00:01:44,169
I couldn't have done it alone.
7
00:01:44,170 --> 00:01:45,671
Oh, that's all right, Ambrosia.
8
00:01:45,672 --> 00:01:48,173
I mean, I like you, and besides,
9
00:01:48,174 --> 00:01:49,174
anyone who's marrying Exidor
10
00:01:49,175 --> 00:01:51,677
deserves all the help
she can get.
11
00:01:58,685 --> 00:02:01,186
I'm telling you, Freelander,
12
00:02:01,187 --> 00:02:04,189
no matter how fast
you paddle that kayak,
13
00:02:04,190 --> 00:02:06,692
you're never
going to get Steinmatz
14
00:02:06,693 --> 00:02:09,195
up on those skis!
15
00:02:09,696 --> 00:02:11,697
He's so forceful.
16
00:02:11,698 --> 00:02:14,199
That's one of the reasons
I love him.
17
00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:16,201
What are you doing up there?
18
00:02:16,202 --> 00:02:19,204
Skinny-dipping in Mork's lake.
19
00:02:19,205 --> 00:02:21,707
My last swim as a single man.
20
00:02:21,708 --> 00:02:25,210
From now on,
it's the buddy system.
21
00:02:25,211 --> 00:02:27,713
I did it, I did it, I did it.
22
00:02:27,714 --> 00:02:29,715
Oh, no. You did what?
23
00:02:29,716 --> 00:02:31,717
This time I did something right.
24
00:02:31,718 --> 00:02:32,718
I got you a wedding present
25
00:02:32,719 --> 00:02:34,219
that makes me so proud of myself
26
00:02:34,220 --> 00:02:37,222
I could squash a toad.
27
00:02:37,223 --> 00:02:39,725
Ooh, I mean, you'll never guess,
so I'll give you a hint.
28
00:02:39,726 --> 00:02:42,728
What weighs a hundred pounds
and has feathers?
29
00:02:42,729 --> 00:02:45,731
You bought 'em an ostrich.
30
00:02:45,732 --> 00:02:47,232
Oh, no, you see, I didn't
buy them an ostrich.
31
00:02:47,233 --> 00:02:49,735
Besides, where would it
stick its head?
32
00:02:49,736 --> 00:02:52,237
Something you haven't seen since
you grew up in that orphanage.
33
00:02:52,238 --> 00:02:55,240
Exidor, remember this voice?
34
00:02:55,241 --> 00:02:58,243
( WOMAN WHOOPING )
35
00:02:58,244 --> 00:02:59,745
This is your life, Exidor!
36
00:02:59,746 --> 00:03:02,748
Yes, that's right,
it's Princess Lusitania,
37
00:03:02,749 --> 00:03:03,750
your mother!
38
00:03:06,753 --> 00:03:08,254
Exidor!
39
00:03:11,758 --> 00:03:13,760
My son!
40
00:03:15,762 --> 00:03:18,764
Excuse me. I… I'm not Exidor.
41
00:03:18,765 --> 00:03:20,766
It's been a long time.
42
00:03:20,767 --> 00:03:22,768
Natural mistake.
43
00:03:22,769 --> 00:03:25,270
Mom! Is that you?
44
00:03:25,271 --> 00:03:26,772
Cuspidor!
45
00:03:30,276 --> 00:03:31,276
Exidor.
46
00:03:31,277 --> 00:03:32,778
Of course!
47
00:03:32,779 --> 00:03:34,781
I'd know you anywhere.
48
00:03:36,282 --> 00:03:38,283
You have my gums.
49
00:03:38,284 --> 00:03:41,286
Mork, this is the most
wonderful present.
50
00:03:41,287 --> 00:03:45,290
No one ever gave me
a mother-in-law before.
51
00:03:45,291 --> 00:03:47,292
This time,
you really did do good.
52
00:03:47,293 --> 00:03:50,295
Well, beat me with praise.
I can take it.
53
00:03:50,296 --> 00:03:53,298
Mom, I thought you were dead.
54
00:03:53,299 --> 00:03:56,301
I don't think so.
55
00:03:56,302 --> 00:03:59,805
Well, if she is, she leads
a very active afterlife.
56
00:03:59,806 --> 00:04:01,807
But if she's alive,
57
00:04:01,808 --> 00:04:03,809
that means you deserted me.
58
00:04:03,810 --> 00:04:06,812
No, no. You were taken from me.
59
00:04:06,813 --> 00:04:08,814
I sent you out to play.
60
00:04:08,815 --> 00:04:11,316
A half-hour later,
I went to look for you.
61
00:04:11,317 --> 00:04:12,818
Just as my foot
hit the blacktop,
62
00:04:12,819 --> 00:04:14,319
I remembered.
63
00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:16,321
We were traveling
70 miles an hour
64
00:04:16,322 --> 00:04:17,823
on our way to Denver.
65
00:04:17,824 --> 00:04:19,324
I woke up two weeks later,
66
00:04:19,325 --> 00:04:21,326
being nursed back
to health by Indians.
67
00:04:21,327 --> 00:04:23,328
Been with them ever since.
68
00:04:23,329 --> 00:04:25,831
Oh, that's terrible.
69
00:04:25,832 --> 00:04:28,334
But the important thing is…
70
00:04:33,840 --> 00:04:36,341
That's my mom.
71
00:04:36,342 --> 00:04:40,846
She never finished
a bedtime story either.
72
00:04:40,847 --> 00:04:43,348
Earth to Lusitania.
73
00:04:43,349 --> 00:04:45,350
Oh, you're back.
74
00:04:45,351 --> 00:04:47,352
We're engaged, Mom.
75
00:04:47,353 --> 00:04:49,354
We're going to be
married tomorrow.
76
00:04:49,355 --> 00:04:50,856
Oh, I told her about that.
77
00:04:50,857 --> 00:04:53,860
When she heard about it,
she said, "Mork…"
78
00:04:57,864 --> 00:05:00,365
I suppose you two
are really in love.
79
00:05:00,366 --> 00:05:01,867
Very much so.
80
00:05:01,868 --> 00:05:04,369
Your son lit up my life.
81
00:05:04,370 --> 00:05:06,872
That's what I was afraid of.
82
00:05:10,376 --> 00:05:11,376
That's a lovely belt.
83
00:05:11,377 --> 00:05:13,379
I didn't know Houdini
had a fall line.
84
00:05:14,881 --> 00:05:15,881
Thank you, Mork.
85
00:05:15,882 --> 00:05:17,883
Would you help me
with my suitcase?
86
00:05:17,884 --> 00:05:22,888
Fortunately, I came prepared.
87
00:05:22,889 --> 00:05:24,891
MINDY:
What are you going to do with the chain?
88
00:05:27,393 --> 00:05:29,394
What are you doing?
89
00:05:29,395 --> 00:05:34,399
It's just a mother's way
of saying, "He's mine."
90
00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:37,903
I'm not leaving this house
until you agree
91
00:05:37,904 --> 00:05:39,404
to call off the marriage.
92
00:05:39,405 --> 00:05:41,406
I'm just going
into the other room
93
00:05:41,407 --> 00:05:43,408
so you can talk it over.
94
00:05:43,409 --> 00:05:47,412
But Mom, this isn't fair.
95
00:05:47,413 --> 00:05:49,414
After 35 years, you show up,
96
00:05:49,415 --> 00:05:52,918
say, "Hello. How are ya?"
97
00:05:52,919 --> 00:05:55,421
and chain yourself to a post.
98
00:05:58,424 --> 00:05:59,925
Mom!
99
00:05:59,926 --> 00:06:01,427
Mom!
100
00:06:07,934 --> 00:06:10,435
I think it's important
in times like these
101
00:06:10,436 --> 00:06:11,937
we don't forget the old saying,
102
00:06:11,938 --> 00:06:15,942
"It's not the gift,
it's the thought that counts."
103
00:06:24,450 --> 00:06:26,451
Ambrosia, are you sure
104
00:06:26,452 --> 00:06:28,453
you know what you're
getting involved in?
105
00:06:28,454 --> 00:06:30,956
Oh, I know most people
don't understand
106
00:06:30,957 --> 00:06:33,458
my relationship with Exidor,
107
00:06:33,459 --> 00:06:34,960
but it's very simple.
108
00:06:34,961 --> 00:06:37,462
Before I met him,
all the men I went out with
109
00:06:37,463 --> 00:06:39,965
were quiet and
conservative like me.
110
00:06:39,966 --> 00:06:41,466
My world was a succession
111
00:06:41,467 --> 00:06:43,468
of brown suits
and wingtip shoes,
112
00:06:43,469 --> 00:06:48,974
and I said to myself,
"Is that all there is?"
113
00:06:48,975 --> 00:06:51,476
And then I met Exidor.
114
00:06:51,477 --> 00:06:54,980
The last of the swashbucklers.
115
00:06:54,981 --> 00:06:59,985
Now every day is
tubing the bonsai pipeline.
116
00:06:59,986 --> 00:07:01,486
That's understandable.
117
00:07:01,487 --> 00:07:03,488
I know Mindy feels
the same way about me.
118
00:07:03,489 --> 00:07:05,991
He said modestly.
119
00:07:05,992 --> 00:07:08,994
Exidor adds so much color
to my life,
120
00:07:08,995 --> 00:07:11,997
with his invisible friends
and lakes in the attic.
121
00:07:11,998 --> 00:07:14,499
Sometimes I wish
I had those things too.
122
00:07:14,500 --> 00:07:17,502
You're not mad at me
for bringing home his mother.
123
00:07:17,503 --> 00:07:19,004
She can't be all bad.
124
00:07:19,005 --> 00:07:21,506
She had Exidor.
125
00:07:21,507 --> 00:07:25,010
Well, that's very generous of
you. But I still don't want
126
00:07:25,011 --> 00:07:26,511
a woman chained up in my house.
127
00:07:26,512 --> 00:07:28,013
I know how to get her out.
128
00:07:28,014 --> 00:07:30,015
We'll do what
the government always does.
129
00:07:30,016 --> 00:07:33,019
We'll smoke a peace pipe,
sign a treaty, then break it.
130
00:07:37,023 --> 00:07:41,026
Don't worry. Exidor's in there
and he's one silver-tongued
131
00:07:41,027 --> 00:07:44,529
fiancée. He'll have her eating
out of the palm of his hand.
132
00:07:44,530 --> 00:07:51,036
Okay, Mom. I'll see if
I can find you something to eat.
133
00:07:51,037 --> 00:07:55,540
Mork, look what Mom's
been saving for me
134
00:07:55,541 --> 00:07:58,543
all these years.
135
00:07:58,544 --> 00:08:00,045
Oh, look,
136
00:08:00,046 --> 00:08:02,548
little bronze baby hip booties.
137
00:08:03,549 --> 00:08:06,551
Is she leaving?
138
00:08:06,552 --> 00:08:07,552
She's staying?!
139
00:08:07,553 --> 00:08:10,055
Exactly.
140
00:08:10,056 --> 00:08:13,558
Mindy, I know it can be
inconvenient having house guests
141
00:08:13,559 --> 00:08:15,060
but after
we're married tomorrow,
142
00:08:15,061 --> 00:08:17,062
there'll be no reason
for her to stay.
143
00:08:17,063 --> 00:08:18,563
She'll leave on her own.
144
00:08:18,564 --> 00:08:20,065
Oh, she'd leave right away
145
00:08:20,066 --> 00:08:24,569
if we'd promise
to postpone the wedding.
146
00:08:24,570 --> 00:08:26,571
Exidor, you wouldn't.
147
00:08:26,572 --> 00:08:28,573
She just wants a chance
148
00:08:28,574 --> 00:08:31,076
to be the mother
she's never been.
149
00:08:31,077 --> 00:08:33,078
She wants to take me
for little rides
150
00:08:33,079 --> 00:08:37,582
on the tricycle,
and teach me to play catch.
151
00:08:37,583 --> 00:08:39,084
She'll give that up
the first time
152
00:08:39,085 --> 00:08:40,585
she has to change your diapers.
153
00:08:40,586 --> 00:08:43,088
MINDY:
Let me tell you something.
154
00:08:43,089 --> 00:08:44,589
If you call it off this time,
155
00:08:44,590 --> 00:08:47,092
she's going to make you
call it off again the next time.
156
00:08:47,093 --> 00:08:48,593
Oh, please.
157
00:08:48,594 --> 00:08:51,596
I don't need any girlish babble!
158
00:08:51,597 --> 00:08:54,599
What I need
is a voice of reason!
159
00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:56,602
Mork…
160
00:08:58,104 --> 00:09:00,105
Let me tell you something,
if you call it off this time,
161
00:09:00,106 --> 00:09:03,108
she's just gonna make you
call it off the next time.
162
00:09:03,109 --> 00:09:06,111
Now, that makes sense!
163
00:09:06,112 --> 00:09:08,113
If you just go ahead
with everything planned
164
00:09:08,114 --> 00:09:11,116
she'll see that you're calling
her bluff and she'll give in.
165
00:09:11,117 --> 00:09:13,618
Thank you, Mork.
166
00:09:13,619 --> 00:09:16,121
That's exactly
what I'm going to do.
167
00:09:16,122 --> 00:09:18,124
He's so decisive.
168
00:09:19,625 --> 00:09:22,627
But tonight is
my bachelor party here.
169
00:09:22,628 --> 00:09:25,130
What are we going to do
with Mom?
170
00:09:25,131 --> 00:09:28,134
We could hang her out the
window and let her dangle.
171
00:09:32,638 --> 00:09:34,139
( KNOCK ON DOOR )
172
00:09:34,140 --> 00:09:35,641
Grab it and twist it!
173
00:09:38,644 --> 00:09:43,148
Oh, glad you could make it.
174
00:09:43,149 --> 00:09:45,650
Hey, look,
175
00:09:45,651 --> 00:09:47,652
let's get one thing straight.
176
00:09:47,653 --> 00:09:50,155
I'm only doing this for you.
177
00:09:50,156 --> 00:09:53,158
I don't even like that guy
in the dress that much.
178
00:09:53,159 --> 00:09:57,662
I do know this though, somebody
deep-fried that man's brain.
179
00:09:57,663 --> 00:09:59,164
Bachelor parties
in New York are fun.
180
00:09:59,165 --> 00:10:03,668
In Boulder, a bachelor party
is a Rocky Mountain low.
181
00:10:03,669 --> 00:10:06,171
What's the projector for?
182
00:10:06,172 --> 00:10:08,173
Exidor's out
getting some stag movies.
183
00:10:08,174 --> 00:10:09,174
Hey, hey!
184
00:10:09,175 --> 00:10:12,677
Now, there's a touch of class.
185
00:10:12,678 --> 00:10:15,180
I don't understand
what the big deal is.
186
00:10:15,181 --> 00:10:17,683
Who wants to see a movie,
Bambi does Yosemite?
187
00:10:22,188 --> 00:10:25,190
I brought some beer
and, uh, salami over there.
188
00:10:25,191 --> 00:10:28,193
By the way, um, why is that
chain going into the bedroom?
189
00:10:28,194 --> 00:10:30,196
Oh, Lucy's at the other end.
190
00:10:33,699 --> 00:10:35,700
Lucy? A woman?
191
00:10:35,701 --> 00:10:36,701
Of course it's a woman.
192
00:10:36,702 --> 00:10:39,704
We wouldn't chain
a man, would we?
193
00:10:39,705 --> 00:10:41,706
A woman on the end
of a 30-foot chain?
194
00:10:41,707 --> 00:10:43,208
You got it.
195
00:10:43,209 --> 00:10:45,210
What's she look like?
196
00:10:45,211 --> 00:10:47,713
She's got feathers.
197
00:10:48,714 --> 00:10:50,715
That's wonderful!
198
00:10:50,716 --> 00:10:54,719
This is gonna be a great party!
199
00:10:54,720 --> 00:10:57,722
Ding-dong!
200
00:10:57,723 --> 00:10:59,224
Nelson, come in.
Join the festivities.
201
00:10:59,225 --> 00:11:01,727
Hello, fellow Boulderites!
202
00:11:06,732 --> 00:11:08,733
I suppose you've been wondering
203
00:11:08,734 --> 00:11:12,737
how my campaign for city
councilman has been going.
204
00:11:12,738 --> 00:11:13,738
No. No.
205
00:11:13,739 --> 00:11:16,241
Well, I'm here to tell you
206
00:11:16,242 --> 00:11:18,243
that I am hot as a pistol.
207
00:11:18,244 --> 00:11:20,745
I've joined the Moose Lodge
and the Elk's Club.
208
00:11:20,746 --> 00:11:25,750
Then you'll really
like our stag film.
209
00:11:25,751 --> 00:11:27,752
Where's, uh, Mr. Exidor?
210
00:11:27,753 --> 00:11:29,254
I should meet the man,
211
00:11:29,255 --> 00:11:30,756
since I'm officiating
at his wedding.
212
00:11:32,758 --> 00:11:34,259
Showtime!
213
00:11:35,761 --> 00:11:38,263
Would you get out.
214
00:11:38,264 --> 00:11:40,265
I told you you're not
crashing my party.
215
00:11:40,266 --> 00:11:43,269
We're packed in here
as it is. Scram!
216
00:11:45,271 --> 00:11:47,772
Who is that?
217
00:11:47,773 --> 00:11:48,773
The groom.
218
00:11:48,774 --> 00:11:51,776
Oh, my gosh.
219
00:11:51,777 --> 00:11:52,777
I thought the bride
220
00:11:52,778 --> 00:11:55,780
was supposed to wear
the white gown.
221
00:11:55,781 --> 00:11:58,283
Oh, Exidor, I'd like you
to meet Nelson Flavor,
222
00:11:58,284 --> 00:11:59,284
Mindy's cousin.
223
00:11:59,285 --> 00:12:00,785
How do you do?
224
00:12:00,786 --> 00:12:02,287
Nice to meet you.
225
00:12:02,288 --> 00:12:03,789
( CHAIN RATTLING )
226
00:12:04,790 --> 00:12:06,291
What a baby!
227
00:12:06,292 --> 00:12:08,293
She's rarin' to go!
228
00:12:08,294 --> 00:12:10,795
Ha-hah!
229
00:12:10,796 --> 00:12:11,796
She?
230
00:12:11,797 --> 00:12:13,798
Please, tell me it's a dog.
231
00:12:13,799 --> 00:12:15,300
No, it's a chick!
232
00:12:15,301 --> 00:12:17,303
And she's wearin' feathers!
233
00:12:18,304 --> 00:12:20,805
You guys are sick.
234
00:12:20,806 --> 00:12:23,808
Hey, don't look at us.
It's her chain.
235
00:12:23,809 --> 00:12:25,310
Mork, hit the lights.
236
00:12:25,311 --> 00:12:27,312
The rest of you
just find a place
237
00:12:27,313 --> 00:12:29,315
wherever you can.
238
00:12:31,317 --> 00:12:33,319
Down in front!
239
00:12:35,321 --> 00:12:37,823
How do you like that
for an opening shot?
240
00:12:39,825 --> 00:12:41,326
Leaves a lot to the imagination.
241
00:12:41,327 --> 00:12:46,331
Are my eyes getting worse?
242
00:12:46,332 --> 00:12:49,335
Hold it down, please,
and let the girl act.
243
00:12:50,836 --> 00:12:52,837
What do you think
of the movie, Mork?
244
00:12:52,838 --> 00:12:57,342
Well, it leaves you
wanting more.
245
00:12:57,343 --> 00:12:59,344
If I saw this baby twice,
246
00:12:59,345 --> 00:13:01,346
my boots would be full of sweat.
247
00:13:01,347 --> 00:13:02,848
( CHAIN RATTLING )
248
00:13:05,851 --> 00:13:07,352
REMO:
There's nothing on the screen!
249
00:13:12,858 --> 00:13:14,859
Mork, Mork,
250
00:13:14,860 --> 00:13:16,861
can I talk to you a second?
251
00:13:16,862 --> 00:13:18,363
Is that Lucy?
252
00:13:18,364 --> 00:13:20,865
- Uh-huh. Yeah.
- Oh, yeah. Yep, yep, yep.
253
00:13:20,866 --> 00:13:22,867
Mom! Mom!
254
00:13:22,868 --> 00:13:25,370
You can't watch this trash!
255
00:13:26,872 --> 00:13:28,373
Mork, wait till you see
256
00:13:28,374 --> 00:13:30,375
the blond girl play volleyball.
257
00:13:30,376 --> 00:13:34,379
Mork, I can't take
any more of this!
258
00:13:34,380 --> 00:13:35,380
Down in front!
259
00:13:35,381 --> 00:13:36,881
Even if she does
have a bag on her head,
260
00:13:36,882 --> 00:13:40,385
this is a little too rough
for me, okay?
261
00:13:40,386 --> 00:13:42,387
Hey, you know,
you guys from Boulder
262
00:13:42,388 --> 00:13:44,889
showed me
a couple of new twists.
263
00:13:44,890 --> 00:13:45,890
Thanks for coming.
264
00:13:45,891 --> 00:13:50,895
Uh, I enjoy a good laugh
just as much as the next guy,
265
00:13:50,896 --> 00:13:53,398
but chaining and bagging
somebody's mom
266
00:13:53,399 --> 00:13:55,401
isn't my idea of hijinks.
267
00:13:56,402 --> 00:13:59,904
MORK: Down in back!
268
00:13:59,905 --> 00:14:01,906
If you guys weren't
registered voters,
269
00:14:01,907 --> 00:14:05,410
I'd turn the lot of you in.
270
00:14:05,411 --> 00:14:08,413
Drive safely.
271
00:14:08,414 --> 00:14:11,417
Spike it, honey! Spike it!
272
00:14:20,926 --> 00:14:22,427
How was the party?
273
00:14:22,428 --> 00:14:23,928
Well, things really livened up
274
00:14:23,929 --> 00:14:25,930
after we took the bag
off of Lusitania's head.
275
00:14:25,931 --> 00:14:28,433
Sorry I asked.
276
00:14:28,434 --> 00:14:30,435
I enjoyed myself.
277
00:14:30,436 --> 00:14:32,437
I got to know Labrador better.
278
00:14:32,438 --> 00:14:35,940
Exidor, mom. Exidor.
279
00:14:35,941 --> 00:14:38,443
We could have a bachelor
party every night,
280
00:14:38,444 --> 00:14:41,446
if he wasn't getting
married tomorrow.
281
00:14:41,447 --> 00:14:43,948
But he is getting
married tomorrow.
282
00:14:43,949 --> 00:14:45,450
Not necessarily!
283
00:14:45,451 --> 00:14:49,454
The old princess has
an extra card up her sleeve.
284
00:14:49,455 --> 00:14:52,958
Oh, I wondered why she
wasn't playing with a full deck.
285
00:14:55,461 --> 00:14:57,462
I'm going to put myself
into a trance,
286
00:14:57,463 --> 00:14:59,464
and I'm going to stay there
287
00:14:59,465 --> 00:15:01,466
until the marriage is called off
288
00:15:01,467 --> 00:15:03,968
or until I die.
289
00:15:03,969 --> 00:15:06,471
Well, let's look
on the bright side.
290
00:15:06,472 --> 00:15:08,974
I could've found his father too.
291
00:15:12,478 --> 00:15:13,978
JEAN:
Her pupil dilation is normal,
292
00:15:13,979 --> 00:15:15,480
her pulse is normal,
293
00:15:15,481 --> 00:15:17,982
and her posture's pretty good.
294
00:15:17,983 --> 00:15:19,984
So, what does that mean?
295
00:15:19,985 --> 00:15:21,986
When a person
is in a real trance,
296
00:15:21,987 --> 00:15:24,489
their heartbeat slows way down.
297
00:15:24,490 --> 00:15:26,991
I knew it.
298
00:15:26,992 --> 00:15:28,493
Did you hear that, Ambrosia?
299
00:15:28,494 --> 00:15:29,994
Jeanie agrees that
the princess is faking it.
300
00:15:29,995 --> 00:15:33,999
AMBROSIA: ( MONOTONE ) Yahoo.
301
00:15:36,001 --> 00:15:38,503
What are you gonna do with
( CHUCKLES )
302
00:15:38,504 --> 00:15:40,004
during the ceremony?
303
00:15:40,005 --> 00:15:42,006
Well, fortunately,
it isn't here, it's…
304
00:15:42,007 --> 00:15:43,508
Oh, you haven't heard this one.
305
00:15:43,509 --> 00:15:45,510
Okay, are you ready
for this one?
306
00:15:45,511 --> 00:15:48,012
Exidor wanted to have it
in the woods by a lake,
307
00:15:48,013 --> 00:15:51,016
so we're having it in the attic.
308
00:15:52,518 --> 00:15:57,021
Ah, it must be
a lovely world he lives in.
309
00:15:57,022 --> 00:15:58,523
He and Mork are up there
right now
310
00:15:58,524 --> 00:16:03,027
clearing out the underbrush.
311
00:16:03,028 --> 00:16:05,530
When Remo and I come back
for the wedding,
312
00:16:05,531 --> 00:16:07,031
we'll bring
the rest of the food.
313
00:16:07,032 --> 00:16:08,032
Okay.
314
00:16:08,033 --> 00:16:11,536
I think I'll also bring
my snakebite kit.
315
00:16:11,537 --> 00:16:13,037
If you have any trouble
finding us,
316
00:16:13,038 --> 00:16:15,039
make a left at the waterfall.
317
00:16:15,040 --> 00:16:17,542
( CHUCKLES ) Okay.
318
00:16:21,547 --> 00:16:24,048
This is an attic.
319
00:16:24,049 --> 00:16:26,551
A man wouldn't get
married in an attic.
320
00:16:26,552 --> 00:16:28,052
But then, most men wouldn't
chain and bag
321
00:16:28,053 --> 00:16:30,054
their mothers, either.
322
00:16:30,055 --> 00:16:33,558
What's happening to our society?
323
00:16:33,559 --> 00:16:36,060
I don't think you understand.
Exidor's a little eccentric.
324
00:16:36,061 --> 00:16:38,563
He even wrote up
his own nuptials.
325
00:16:38,564 --> 00:16:40,064
I hope it doesn't start,
326
00:16:40,065 --> 00:16:43,568
"There once was a bridegroom
named Exie…"
327
00:16:43,569 --> 00:16:45,571
Smells like tuna fish.
328
00:16:47,072 --> 00:16:48,573
Mork.
329
00:16:51,076 --> 00:16:54,579
I've been pleading with Mom,
but I don't think
330
00:16:54,580 --> 00:16:56,581
she's going to make it
to the wedding.
331
00:16:56,582 --> 00:17:00,084
She just sits there,
staring into space,
332
00:17:00,085 --> 00:17:04,589
sucking the filling
out of a Twinkie.
333
00:17:04,590 --> 00:17:09,093
Don't you worry about that.
This is your day.
334
00:17:09,094 --> 00:17:11,095
Thank you very much, dear.
335
00:17:11,096 --> 00:17:13,598
That's deeply appreciated.
336
00:17:15,100 --> 00:17:18,102
Who is that woman?
337
00:17:18,103 --> 00:17:20,104
How come she gets
invited to my wedding,
338
00:17:20,105 --> 00:17:24,609
and burro is sitting out there
cooling his hooves.
339
00:17:24,610 --> 00:17:27,613
MINDY:
Mork, start the music. She's ready.
340
00:17:30,115 --> 00:17:33,618
( "WEDDING MARCH" PLAYS )
341
00:17:48,133 --> 00:17:51,636
( CLEARS THROAT )
342
00:17:51,637 --> 00:17:53,638
"Dearly beloved,"
343
00:17:53,639 --> 00:17:56,140
"we are gathered here today"
344
00:17:56,141 --> 00:17:58,643
"in this beautiful forest…"
345
00:18:02,648 --> 00:18:06,652
"on the shore
of this silvery lake…"
346
00:18:10,155 --> 00:18:12,657
Is anybody buying this?
347
00:18:13,659 --> 00:18:16,160
( CHAINS RATTLING )
348
00:18:16,161 --> 00:18:18,163
Stop!
349
00:18:19,164 --> 00:18:21,165
( GASPING )
350
00:18:21,166 --> 00:18:23,167
I can't go on!
351
00:18:23,168 --> 00:18:26,170
That's my mother down there!
352
00:18:26,171 --> 00:18:29,674
I… Oh!
353
00:18:29,675 --> 00:18:31,175
Ambrosia…
354
00:18:31,176 --> 00:18:36,681
could we just postpone
the wedding for a month?
355
00:18:36,682 --> 00:18:38,683
Please, doe eyes?
356
00:18:38,684 --> 00:18:44,188
Oh, Exidor, I don't want
to tell you what to do.
357
00:18:44,189 --> 00:18:46,691
I just want to know
where I stand.
358
00:18:46,692 --> 00:18:51,195
I love you,
and you said you loved me.
359
00:18:51,196 --> 00:18:52,697
That was nice.
360
00:18:52,698 --> 00:18:55,199
Now, I know you
also love your mother,
361
00:18:55,200 --> 00:18:58,703
but there comes a time when
a son has to cut the cord,
362
00:18:58,704 --> 00:19:03,207
even if he needs
a hacksaw to do it.
363
00:19:03,208 --> 00:19:04,709
But it's your decision.
364
00:19:04,710 --> 00:19:06,711
I just wish you'd make it soon
365
00:19:06,712 --> 00:19:09,714
because I think
I'm going to cry.
366
00:19:09,715 --> 00:19:13,718
Oh, her little doe eyes
are leaking.
367
00:19:13,719 --> 00:19:16,220
( CHAINS RATTLING )
368
00:19:16,221 --> 00:19:18,222
I've had enough of this!
369
00:19:18,223 --> 00:19:19,724
A wedding should be
a happy occasion.
370
00:19:19,725 --> 00:19:23,227
Listen, she's my gift, I take
responsibility for this.
371
00:19:23,228 --> 00:19:24,729
Mork, what are you going to do?
372
00:19:24,730 --> 00:19:27,231
We've talked until we're blue
in the face. Including you.
373
00:19:27,232 --> 00:19:30,234
I mean, her mind is made up.
She's not gonna change it.
374
00:19:30,235 --> 00:19:32,236
Mindy, you don't understand,
I have a superior mind
375
00:19:32,237 --> 00:19:34,238
and PHD in gestalt car wash.
376
00:19:34,239 --> 00:19:36,240
Now, I know what she needs.
377
00:19:36,241 --> 00:19:39,744
She needs a good old-fashioned
dose of honest cruelty.
378
00:19:47,252 --> 00:19:50,254
Princess Lusitania,
there's some things
379
00:19:50,255 --> 00:19:52,757
we have to get straight.
380
00:19:52,758 --> 00:19:56,261
( IMITATING NATIVE AMERICAN ):
Time now for a powwow, huh?
381
00:20:00,265 --> 00:20:02,767
( NORMAL VOICE ):
Uh, you say you love Exidor.
382
00:20:02,768 --> 00:20:04,268
Well, he's upstairs
about to have
383
00:20:04,269 --> 00:20:05,770
one of the happiest
moments of his life,
384
00:20:05,771 --> 00:20:08,272
and you're down here
making him miserable.
385
00:20:08,273 --> 00:20:12,777
Now, why don't you go upstairs
and join the wedding?
386
00:20:12,778 --> 00:20:15,279
Listen, they're gonna
get married with or without you.
387
00:20:15,280 --> 00:20:16,781
Now, Princess Lusitania, now…
388
00:20:16,782 --> 00:20:19,283
"Princess Lusitania," that's
not even your real name.
389
00:20:19,284 --> 00:20:20,284
I found out your maiden name was.
390
00:20:20,285 --> 00:20:23,287
"Bloomasnitzpistle."
391
00:20:23,288 --> 00:20:26,791
Now, come on! Drop the act!
392
00:20:26,792 --> 00:20:30,294
Oh, no, you don't have
to drop it that much.
393
00:20:30,295 --> 00:20:34,298
Hey, hey, you're molting.
394
00:20:34,299 --> 00:20:35,299
Oh, hey, come on, now.
395
00:20:35,300 --> 00:20:36,300
I don't want to see you cry.
396
00:20:36,301 --> 00:20:38,803
( AS AL JOLSON ): ♪ Mammy ♪
397
00:20:38,804 --> 00:20:43,307
Oh, I'm sorry. That's the
wrong song to use right now.
398
00:20:43,308 --> 00:20:47,311
It's not fair, Mork.
399
00:20:47,312 --> 00:20:49,814
I'm 60 years old,
400
00:20:49,815 --> 00:20:53,317
and I never really had a son.
401
00:20:53,318 --> 00:20:56,320
I don't even have any memories.
402
00:20:56,321 --> 00:20:58,823
Well, I know it's not fair,
403
00:20:58,824 --> 00:21:01,325
but you're gonna lose
404
00:21:01,326 --> 00:21:02,827
a very special memory right now.
405
00:21:02,828 --> 00:21:05,830
I mean, I know… I know life
can be real cruel sometimes
406
00:21:05,831 --> 00:21:07,832
because you can't
relive the past,
407
00:21:07,833 --> 00:21:10,836
but, hey, you're real lucky.
408
00:21:11,837 --> 00:21:13,337
Lucky?
409
00:21:13,338 --> 00:21:15,840
Yeah, I mean,
you have a chance here
410
00:21:15,841 --> 00:21:18,342
to get two memories
for the price of one.
411
00:21:18,343 --> 00:21:21,345
You're gonna have the memories
of a son and a daughter.
412
00:21:21,346 --> 00:21:24,348
Mork, you don't understand.
413
00:21:24,349 --> 00:21:28,352
35 years of hoping,
414
00:21:28,353 --> 00:21:34,358
and then he rejects me.
415
00:21:34,359 --> 00:21:41,366
I guess mothers always lose,
don't they?
416
00:21:51,376 --> 00:21:53,377
ALL: Well?
417
00:21:53,378 --> 00:21:55,880
Well, I blew it.
418
00:21:55,881 --> 00:21:57,882
ALL: Oh.
419
00:21:57,883 --> 00:22:01,385
She's packing her chains
and heading back to the wigwam.
420
00:22:01,386 --> 00:22:04,388
Would you like to say goodbye?
421
00:22:04,389 --> 00:22:06,891
Yes, I would…
422
00:22:06,892 --> 00:22:08,893
but right now, marrying you
423
00:22:08,894 --> 00:22:10,895
is the most
important thing to me.
424
00:22:10,896 --> 00:22:12,397
Hit the music, Mork!
425
00:22:15,901 --> 00:22:17,903
( "WEDDING MARCH" PLAYS )
426
00:22:21,406 --> 00:22:24,408
( CLEARS THROAT )
427
00:22:24,409 --> 00:22:26,911
"Dearly beloved,"
428
00:22:26,912 --> 00:22:28,412
"we are gathered here…"
429
00:22:28,413 --> 00:22:29,914
LUSITANIA: Exidor… Oh.
430
00:22:32,417 --> 00:22:36,420
I was thinking about
what Mork had to say.
431
00:22:36,421 --> 00:22:39,423
He was right, and I was wrong.
432
00:22:39,424 --> 00:22:45,429
I want very much to see
your wedding, Exidor.
433
00:22:45,430 --> 00:22:51,435
But I'll do it and stay
on one condition.
434
00:22:51,436 --> 00:22:54,939
That you'll forgive me
and be my daughter.
435
00:22:54,940 --> 00:22:58,443
Hi, Mom. Welcome to the family.
436
00:23:08,453 --> 00:23:09,954
"Dearly beloved,
437
00:23:09,955 --> 00:23:11,455
"we are gathered here today
438
00:23:11,456 --> 00:23:14,458
"in this beautiful forest,
439
00:23:14,459 --> 00:23:17,962
on the shore
of this silvery lake…"
440
00:23:27,472 --> 00:23:29,974
Mork calling Orson.
Come in, Orson.
441
00:23:29,975 --> 00:23:33,477
Mork calling Orson.
Come in, Orson.
442
00:23:33,478 --> 00:23:36,480
Mork calling Orson.
Come in, Orson.
443
00:23:36,481 --> 00:23:38,482
Yo, hippo hips!
444
00:23:38,483 --> 00:23:40,484
( IMITATING AN ELEPHANT )
445
00:23:40,485 --> 00:23:44,488
ORSON:
Animal jokes, Mork? Been to the zoo again?
446
00:23:44,489 --> 00:23:45,990
Well, not exactly, sir.
447
00:23:45,991 --> 00:23:47,992
I got Exidor
to the attic on time.
448
00:23:47,993 --> 00:23:50,995
Nothing worse than a man
who's late to his own attic.
449
00:23:50,996 --> 00:23:52,997
Well, he and Ambrosia
finally tied the knot.
450
00:23:52,998 --> 00:23:54,999
Now, it's double or nothing.
451
00:23:55,000 --> 00:23:57,501
Oh, yes. Exidor's wedding.
452
00:23:57,502 --> 00:24:00,504
How does an earthling
go about getting married?
453
00:24:00,505 --> 00:24:02,506
Well, sir,
you give a little blood,
454
00:24:02,507 --> 00:24:05,009
you get a license,
and then you're in business.
455
00:24:05,010 --> 00:24:07,011
Humans need a license
for marriage?
456
00:24:07,012 --> 00:24:10,014
Is that like getting
a driver's license, Mork?
457
00:24:10,015 --> 00:24:11,015
Well, not really, sir.
458
00:24:11,016 --> 00:24:13,517
You see, they make you
take a test to learn to drive,
459
00:24:13,518 --> 00:24:16,520
but the only test of marriage
is the test of time.
460
00:24:16,521 --> 00:24:19,023
In that case,
is it worth the risk?
461
00:24:19,024 --> 00:24:22,026
Well, sir, I think marriage
is an emotional investment,
462
00:24:22,027 --> 00:24:23,527
and in these inflated times,
463
00:24:23,528 --> 00:24:26,030
it's a special bond
between two people
464
00:24:26,031 --> 00:24:28,032
that still yields
the highest dividends.
465
00:24:28,033 --> 00:24:31,036
Till next week, sir. Nanu, nanu.
30964
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