All language subtitles for Mork.and.Mindy.S02E14.DVDrip.c00t.en

Nanu, nanu.

( UPBEAT THEME PLAYING )

( HAPPY THEME PLAYING )

( BIRDS CHIRPING )

Yes, Frank,

I know you're the editor
of the school newspaper,

but I can't write this article.

Because I think it's stupid.

"Feminism: Myth or Myth-ith"?

Okay,
we will talk about it tomorrow.

All right. Bye.

Hi.

It was a simple
misunderstanding.

What?

They told me not
to talk about it, but…

You know, I have one thing
to say, right here and now:

That goat was already dead.

I don't want to hear about this.

Smart girl. It'll blow over
in a year or two.

( KNOCK ON DOOR )

If anybody up there
is listening,

please save me
from this insanity.

Hi, there, curly lips.

No one was listening.

Exidor.

Mork.

Is that you?

Who wants to know?

Mrs. Exidor's future husband.

I don't believe this.

Mork. I'm glad you dropped by.

Exidor, why don't you sit down

and take a load off
your dock waders?

All that rubber must get
irritating sometimes.

What's this I hear
about a Mrs. Exidor?

- Oh, Mork, I'm so excited.
- I just…

Pepe, you sit under me
one more time,

and you've sucked
your last margarita.

Now, then, where was I?

Ah, yes.

Her name is… Ambrosia Malspar.

Of the Hogsbreath
Gulch Malspars.

Oh, I've heard of them.
I thought they were all caught.

From the moment we met,
I heard bells.

Oh, she's a prizefighter, eh?

A romantic, you're not.

I dropped by
so I could invite you two

to dinner tonight
so you can meet Ambrosia.

Are you free?

Uh, I don't think
that we could…

Oh, of course we are.

( WHISPERS ) Mork, I don't care
to meet an invisible fiancée.

Mindy, how long could it take?

Where should we meet?

Here. Say, about 8?

You're picking us up?

No, no, no. We'll eat here.

Ooh, that's real convenient,
Min.

We don't have to make
reservations.

You expect me…
I'm supposed to…

Oh, please, don't worry
about feeding Pepe.

Tonight's his jai alai
tournament. Ha, ha, ha.

( DOOR CLOSES )

Mind, I'm real proud of you.

I know sometimes you think
that Exidor is a twit,

but yet you overcame
your hang-ups,

and you invited he and his
fiancée over here for dinner.

You're a credit to shiksadom.

Mork… Min?

Stuff it.

I'm sensing
a lot of hostility, Min.

What's bothering and tickling
your little innards? What's up?

Okay…
you, Exidor, and Ambrosia.

Ooh, good, I'm glad you got
that off your chest. Now,

did you make that clam dip?

I'm not finished yet.

Está más?

Mas, mas more.

I resent Exidor inviting
himself for dinner,

almost as much as I resent
having to cook dinner

for an invisible fiancée.

I mean, we're into the foothills
of kinky here.

Have you ever considered
that Exidor's fiancée

might be a real
flesh-and-blood woman?

No.

Me neither.

Come on, Mind,
I mean, Exidor means well.

If this will make him happy,
let him have his moment.

I mean,
people in robes have so few.

( KNOCK ON DOOR )

The lovebirds
are here right now.

We'll be right with you,
loverisms.

Mind, I want you
to be nice to Exidor,

and try not to stare
at Ambrosia.

Mindy, it's Exidor.

And guess who's with him.

You must be Ambrosia.

You're… you're everything
I imagined.

I like your dress.

Who are you talking to?

I'm talking
to the lovely Ambrosia.

But there's nobody there.

I think the little lady

has been smoking
her braids again.

I mean, you don't see
anybody here, do you?

Not me.

Thanks a lot.

Now he thinks
I'm the one that's crazy?

Oh, I didn't say that.

I just said your oil wasn't
touching the dipstick.

Did you or did you not state
that you were bringing

your fiancée here
to dinner tonight?

Methinks I hear

her dainty step upon the stair.

♪ And this is my beloved ♪

All right, that's it.
The party is over.

Gee, I'm sorry I missed it.

Mork, Mindy…

I would like you to meet
Ambrosia Malspar.

( LOUDLY ) She's over here, Min.

I see her.

May I sit down?

Oh.

Yeah, sure.
Come on in. I'm sorry.

It's about time.

Be gentle with her.

She could use a little…
Hamburger Helper.

- Don't worry.
- Your kind of problem

doesn't carry the stigma
it used to.

Stigma?

So, Mork,
you're Exidor's best friend.

Tell me about yourself.

Well, I guess
you can kind of call me

a son of a black hole. Heh.

I'm, well, you know,

my mom was a Petri dish,

my dad was an eyedropper. Heh.

Kind of a cosmic clone.

Just to double-check…

Mindy's the one
with the problems?

So, how did you two
lovebirds meet?

She chalked me.

Excuse me?

Oh, this must be something
of the new sexual revolution.

Oh, no, I don't think so.

You see, I'm a meter maid,

and I was just
minding my own business,

just riding on my motor scooter,

chalking tires,
and Exy was lying on his back

in the street fixing his burro.

I bet the hard part
was jacking him up, right?

And I accidentally
chalked his boots.

Oh, um, why don't we all
have some, uh,

cheese hors d'oeuvres
before dinner?

Tell you what.
I'll take the d'oeuvres.

Ar, ar.

You two take your time.

Amby and I will just sit here

and make little fishy faces
at one another.

I just can't get over it.

I mean, she's real,
and she seems perfectly normal.

Unless she's a hologram.

Look at her. She… she's nice,

she's charming, and she's sane.

I mean,
she's nothing like Exidor.

I'll bet she's
gonna be good for him.

Look, even tonight,
he's acting relatively normal.

( SHOUTING )
Stop that pounding. We're not deaf.

Hold that thought.

I'll get it.

Stop that pounding. I'm coming.

What are you doing here?

Who is it, sweetheart?

It's Pepe.

It's Pepe?

Looks like Pepe to me.

No, it can't be Pepe. Pepe's
playing jai alai tonight.

What am I saying?

Exidor, it can't be Pepe.

Mork, Mindy, I know you're
trying to protect Exidor,

but it's as plain
as the nose on your face

what's going on,

especially when Pepe's
standing right there.

BOTH: He is?

Exidor, you promised me Pepe
wouldn't be here tonight.

But, guppy lips…

Why can't we ever be alone?

Why does he always
have to tag along?

You said you wanted
to light my fire,

but three on a match
is too much.

But, flamingo toes.

Pepe, you stay right here.

Don't you dare follow us.

I don't want to talk about it.

I'm going to bed…

for a week.

( COMEDIC THEME PLAYING )

( MOUTHING WORDS )

( KNOCK ON DOOR )

Who is it?

Oh, he's in muscatel heaven.

Thanks for the ride, boys.

Come on in, Exidor.

Why don't you sit down?

What's wrong?

I'll tell you what's wrong.

Ambrosia dumped me.

She said she wouldn't marry me

if I was the last prophet
on earth,

which I am.

Well,
I'm sorry to hear about that.

One day you'll meet a girl
right for you in every way.

Do you really think so?

No, but at least
you had hope for a moment.

Thanks, Mork.

I just dropped by to say adios.

I'm shuffling off
this mortal coil,

and I want you to have

all my worldly possessions.

Here.

Oh, thank you. That's won…

It's empty.

Of course.

That suitcase
is all my worldly possessions.

Except for a large rock,

and I'm saving that
for transportation.

You're saving a rock
for transportation?

Yes. I'm going to tie
it to my leg

when I go on vacation.
In Atlantis.

Oh, come on now, Exidor.
You're not going anywhere.

You're gonna spend
the night here. And I guarantee,

tomorrow morning,
things will look a lot better.

But what if they don't?

Well, you'll have to stay here
until they do,

that may take forever,
that's all right.

Mork. Min.

It's settled.
Here we go, Exidor.

Time to hit the sack. A little
mondo do-do. Here we go.

Oh, this is very kind
of you both.

You won't even know I'm here.

Good night.

Good night.

( HOWLING )

Mork, he's baying.

Of course, Min,
it's a full moon.

( HOWLS )

( DRAMATIC THEME PLAYING )

( UPBEAT THEME PLAYING )

So, then what happens,

the alpha says to the beta,

"The muzzle, take it off.
I wanna kiss her."

The alpha said, "why,
are we nailed to a chicken?"

( LAUGHS )

Ar, ar, ar.

That's wildly hysterical, Mork,

but I'm empty.

My life is over.

I'm going out
and kiss my burro goodbye.

Oh, no, you can't do that.

Where is the old Exidor spirit?

Locked up in Ambrosia's
cold, cold heart.

Will you kindly take
your boots off my sofa?

Whoa, whoa, Mind.
He's got squatter's rights.

You gotta show some compassion,
this man's on the ragged edge.

If you two don't mind,

I think I'll take
a little hike upstairs

to Mork's lake.

The leaves are changing,
you know?

They just drop off,

shrivel up,

and die.

It's hard to keep from laughing.

That is it, Mork. He's gotta go

or I'm gonna end up
as looney tunes as he is.

Come on, Mind,
you gotta help him.

You can't discard him like
an old Carter cabinet member.

You're right, I can't.

But I can try to get
Ambrosia to take him back.

( MELODRAMATIC THEME PLAYING )

( BIRDS CHIRPING )

Oh, come on, Ambrosia,
why don't you tell me

why you really broke up
with Exidor.

I'd rather not discuss it,
Mindy.

Well, you shouldn't
just let him go.

Exidor is a very…

unique person.

I mean,
when they dropped Exidor,

they broke the mold.

They sure did.

He's kind, considerate,

a snappy dresser.

And let's not forget
that swell sense of humor.

Well, then,
why did you break up with him?

Well…

It's that friend of his, Pepe.

He won't leave us alone.

We go to the swap meet,
there's Pepe.

We go skateboarding,
there's Pepe.

Tailgating.

Sometimes I wish
he'd just disappear.

Um…

What… what exactly
does Pepe look like?

I don't know.
You'd have to ask Exidor.

Then, you know
that Pepe doesn't exist?

Well, I wouldn't say that.

A lot of people believe
in men from outer space.

I've never seen one,

but that doesn't mean
they don't exist.

Good point.

Exidor sees Pepe,

and he's never lied to me yet.

Besides, you have to believe
in the man you love.

You know, you're a very
special person, Ambrosia.

No, I'm not,

because I haven't been
totally honest

with you or Exidor.

Pepe isn't the real problem.

He's not?

No. I'm old-fashioned.

Before a couple gets married,

I believe the man
should ask the woman

to marry him.

Well, what if Exidor
did propose to you?

Would you marry him then?

No.

Why not?

Mindy… he's never told me
he loves me.

( TENDER THEME PLAYING )

What are you doing?

Isn't it obvious?
I'm drowning in your lake.

Now get out of here
and let me sink in peace.

But I've got great news.
Ambrosia wants you back.

Ambrosia wants me back? Save me.

Save me.

Wait. Wait.

You can't. You'll drown.

What do I do?

Quick, grab my dinghy.

All right.

Just tread rug.
I'll be right there.

Here. A life preserver.
Hold onto that.

( IMITATING MOTOR )

Hurry. Hurry.

A grouper's got me by the leg.

Oh, yes.

( GRUNTS ) Whoa.

Plucked from a watery grave.

Tell me, when can I see my fox?

Well, she's coming tonight,

you have to do is one thing,
and she'll take you back.

Anything. Name it.

All you have to do is say.

"I love you. Will you marry me?"

That's it,
back to catfish country.

No, no, wait, wait.

I thought you loved Ambrosia.

I do.

Then why can't you tell her?

Mork, this may come
as a bit of a surprise,

but I am just a little…

eccentric.

No.

You see, Mork,

I just can't get myself

to say that phrase.

In the orphanage
where I was raised,

nobody ever said it to me.

You've got to.
It's for your own happiness.

But you don't understand.
It's a psychological problem.

Everyone's allowed
one little hang-up.

( DOORBELL RINGS )

There she is.

I can't say it.

If you don't,
you're gonna lose her.

Now, remember: "I love you."

That's really nice,

but what are we gonna do
about Ambrosia?

( DOORBELL RINGS )

Hi, Ambrosia. Hi, Mindy.

EXIDOR: Let me go. I can't.

No, don't grab me there.

Is Exidor here?

Um, I don't know. I'll check.

Mork. We have company.

MORK:
Mind. Be right down. Get down there.

( CRASHING )

I think that they're probably
freshening up a bit.

Exy won't go anywhere
unless he's just so.

EXIDOR: No, I won't go.

Oh. Hi, there, dimple hips.

Hi, Exy.

Does Exidor have something
he wants to say to Ambrosia?

Do you have something
you want to say to Ambrosia?

Can't think of anything.

Think again.

You can do it.

I…have… something…

I want to say.

I…

I…

It's impossible, I can't.

My life is over.

Oh, I got a good idea.
Let's play charades.

Charades?

Well, you see,
Exidor has trouble communicating

with h-e-r.

I love to play charades.

- Exidor, you be the giver.
- You be the receiver.

Exidor, go. Hit it. Uh…

Uh…

First word. First word.

BOTH: Eye.

I got it.

"I love you,
and will you marry me?"

I thought she'd never get it.

The answer is,

"I love you too, and you bet."

Oh, I can't believe it.
She loves me.

Exy,
will you walk me home, alone?

Just a moment.

Pepe.

Them wedding bells
have broken up

that old gang of ours.

Hasta luego, amigo.

Thank you, sweetheart.
You're too good to me.

I'd do anything for you

because… I love you,

and I want to marry you.

( UPBEAT WEDDING THEME PLAYING )

Twice in one night.

And there's a lot more
where that came from.

Well, it took the both of us,

but we pulled it off.

Hey, how about going
to the deli with me?

I'll buy you a soda.

I still feel kind of strange
about one thing.

What?

Well, I feel kind of sorry
for Pepe.

I mean,
where's he gonna get work

with an invisible green card?

( UPBEAT THEME PLAYING )

( MAGICAL THEME PLAYING )

Mork calling Orson.
Come in, Orson.

Mork calling Orson.
Come in, Orson.

Mork calling Orson.

Come in,
great super scooper in the sky.

ORSON: Your report, Mork.

Oh, sir, I am so excited.

My best friend
is getting married next week.

How long do marriages
on earth last?

Oh, until death do they part
or a quick trip to Reno,

whichever comes first.

But I think Exidor's marriage
is gonna last forever.

Exidor? Isn't he the one
you told me was strange,

even by earth standards?

Ah, sir, with love,
there are no standards.

You see, no matter how strange
or bizarre you are

there's always a certain someone
who'll love you for it.

Love gives everyone
a chance to be happy.

Chance? You make it sound
like a lottery.

Well, sir, in a way,
love is a lottery.

And the only losers
are the ones who won't gamble.

Exidor's marriage promises to be

one of the most unusual
in the history of mankind.

Don't be late,
and don't come empty-handed.

Nanu, nanu.

( UPBEAT THEME PLAYING )

( UPBEAT THEME PLAYING )