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Terrible Tudors, gorgeous
Georgians, slimy Stuarts
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00:00:03,760 --> 00:00:06,399
Vile Victorians, woeful wars,
ferocious fights, dingy castles,
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00:00:06,400 --> 00:00:08,319
Daring knights,
horrors that defy description
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00:00:08,320 --> 00:00:09,799
Cut-throat Celts, awful Egyptians
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00:00:09,800 --> 00:00:12,639
Vicious Vikings, cruel crimes
Punishment from ancient times
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Romans rotten, rank and ruthless
Cavemen savage, fierce and toothless
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Groovy Greeks, brainy sages
Mean and measly Middle Ages
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Gory stories, we do that
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And your host, a talking rat
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The past is no longer a mystery
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Welcome to...
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Horrible Histories.
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Nations that conquer other nations
and take them over, enslaving
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or crushing the people as they go -
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like the Roman Empire.
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Oi! Clear off, this is my home.
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I am so sorry, I had no idea.
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All right, fair enough, then.
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Just kidding.
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It's part of my empire now.
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And once you're the subject
of an empire,
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you can kiss goodbye
to your rights.
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00:00:55,680 --> 00:00:56,799
Oh, come on.
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00:00:56,800 --> 00:00:59,279
Your money. What?
Your natural resources. Huh?
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And in some cases, your lives. Ah!
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The Roman Empire crushed
all in its path
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from northern England to Egypt.
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Yes, empires become huge
territories,
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each under one supreme
ruler,
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like the Persian Empire
that smashed its way
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from Greece to India
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and Luxembourg's
Luxembourgish Empire.
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Hang on...
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No empire for you,
little Luxembourg.
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You're not mighty enough.
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Unlike Spain's empire that was
so powerful it destroyed other
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empires like the Aztecs
and the Incas in the Americas.
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And what about Belgium's colonial
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empire in Central Africa?
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They brutally forced Africans
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to work for them and killed anyone
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who stood in their way.
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Hang on, what's happening here?
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No, you're too small, Luxembourg.
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00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:55,359
And at the head of empires,
emperors and empresses.
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Like Emperor Napoleon of France,
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Alexander the Great
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of the Macedonian Empire,
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and finally empress of the largest
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empire the world has ever known.
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Queen Victoria and her British
Empire.
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Woo! Yeah! Go, me!
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Me and all the other powerful
emperors and empresses
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throughout history.
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Not you, Luxembourg.
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Oh. Yeah, it's good to rule an
empire.
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Loved universally
by all your conquered people.
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ANGRY SHOUTING
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Strange. Is it possible that not
everyone likes being conquered?
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Why not? Weird.
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00:02:29,520 --> 00:02:32,920
Welcome to the rise and fall
of enormous empires.
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So, empires are basically powerful
nations that keep taking
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over less powerful ones.
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00:02:40,800 --> 00:02:44,399
Alexander the Great's massive
Macedonian empire stretched
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across three continents,
and his brilliant battle tactics
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saw him conquer more and more land.
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Nothing seemed to slow him down.
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Well, almost nothing.
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It's 329 BC, and Alexander the Great
is seeking to expand his empire
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00:03:03,240 --> 00:03:04,560
further into Asia.
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00:03:05,920 --> 00:03:07,719
For Alexander the Great.
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For the Macedonian Empire...
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STOMACH GRUMBLES
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HE FARTS
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You guys, er...carry on.
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Oh, no!
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SQUELCHES AND SPLASHES
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Oh...
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What are you doing, sir?
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Nothing, carry on!
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Oh, it's stopped.
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As I was saying,
for the Macedonian Empire!
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Sorry, sir, what was that?
What was what?
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You running off mid-battle.
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Is this one of your brilliant
strategies?
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Uh, yeah.
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Sure, yeah.
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Like that time we were fighting
on a day that the calendar
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said was unlucky,
so you changed the calendar.
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BOTH: Huzzah!
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00:03:46,840 --> 00:03:48,839
Yeah. What's your
brilliant strategy this time?
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00:03:48,840 --> 00:03:50,999
Are you meeting with secret
allies behind the bush?
93
00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:52,239
Are there hidden troops back there?
94
00:03:52,240 --> 00:03:53,719
Oh, no, no, no, no, don't look.
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00:03:53,720 --> 00:03:57,239
Just, uh, part of my secret,
hidden strategy.
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00:03:57,240 --> 00:03:58,399
STOMACH GRUMBLES
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I feel another strategy
coming on...
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00:04:01,320 --> 00:04:03,199
Argh!
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00:04:03,200 --> 00:04:04,479
SQUELCHES AND SPLASHES
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00:04:04,480 --> 00:04:06,199
Just carry on fighting.
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00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:08,519
SQUELCHES AND SPLASHES
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LOUD FART
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It's OK, I'm fine.
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We all heard the poo noise.
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Even we heard the poo noise
and we're on the other side.
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All right, fine.
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Look, I didn't want to tell
you guys, all right?
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00:04:20,960 --> 00:04:24,239
But I may have drunk some dodgy
water because I've got, like,
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a teeny bit of diarrhoea.
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LOUD FART
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00:04:26,440 --> 00:04:28,239
Oh, no, ew! Don't overreact!
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00:04:28,240 --> 00:04:30,599
I knew I smelled something
when we were crossing the river.
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You said it was just
funny smelling mud.
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LOUD FART
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Oh, it's like a waterfall coming out
of my bum.
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Oh, come on!
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Men, the Scythians are retreating.
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The day is ours.
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BOTH: Huzzah!
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Come, let us embrace.
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LOUD FART
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Uh, actually, I think I lost
my sword somewhere,
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so I'll probably go look for that.
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Well, it'll be here among the dead.
Come, let us search together.
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LOUD FART
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Oh, actually, I've got...I've got
a huge battle tomorrow,
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00:05:02,120 --> 00:05:04,799
so I, uh, I might have a...might
have an early night.
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00:05:04,800 --> 00:05:05,919
Fine.
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00:05:05,920 --> 00:05:09,040
I was, um, I was washing
my hair anyway.
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Oh...
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Head teacher, Ruth Thomas
has had to find
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a replacement geography teacher
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after Mr Napoleon declared himself
emperor of France and invaded Italy.
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Welcome to Historical Educating.
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I mean, he's a huge historical
figure, but maybe a Mongol warlord
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shouldn't be put in charge
of 11-year-olds.
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I'm going to keep an eye
on this one.
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Class 7F's new geography
teacher is Genghis Khan.
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ALL: Good morning, Mr Genghis Khan.
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You know, I had a tough
life growing up.
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My family lost their home when my
dad was killed by another tribe.
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Aw.
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I dedicated myself to protecting my
family and bringing the Mongol clans
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together so there would never
be fighting between us again.
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I'll leave you to it.
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One of the ways I brought the clans
together was by killing
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the other leaders.
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Did I mention I also killed my own
brother over a hunting row?
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00:06:03,800 --> 00:06:05,159
Maybe write that down, too.
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00:06:05,160 --> 00:06:09,319
Mr Genghis Khan is a bit more
violent than our usual teachers.
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00:06:09,320 --> 00:06:10,519
Apart from Mr Johnson,
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he threw a pencil at Josie Hillage.
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Now, who knows what this country is?
China?
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No, that's part of my Mongol empire.
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And what about this bit? Iran?
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Nope, that's mine too.
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And that's mine, and that's mine.
and that's mine.
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In just 25 years, I conquered
more land than the Romans
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did in their whole history.
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What's wrong, young man?
Cheer up.
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I'll let you drink some
horse blood at break time.
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ALL: Ew!
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What? It'll make you strong.
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Will it make me as strong
as Kit Lamb from 7D?
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He picks on me.
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Where is this land of the 7D
you speak of?
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I think I may have misjudged
Mr Genghis Khan.
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Sorry to bother you,
class 7F have just invaded 7D.
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Um, excuse...I'd better...Sorry!
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Mr Genghis Khan, we do not
allow violence in this school.
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Please make sure it doesn't
happen again.
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No more violence, got it.
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Come on, children.
Shuffle, shuffle.
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00:07:08,120 --> 00:07:09,719
One way to avoid violence
is to
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UTTERLY DESTROY YOUR ENEMY'S CITIES.
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Who wants to burn down the canteen?
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ALL: Yes!
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Mr Genghis Khan has not been asked
back, and Mrs Thomas is,
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once again, looking for
a new geography teacher...
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Oh, tomato juice.
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..and a new canteen.
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But that's tomorrow's problem,
here on Historical Educating.
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SHE RETCHES
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You might think being an emperor
is easy, and that once you've got
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all the conquering out of the way,
you can just sit back and chill.
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Well, bad luck, because keeping
hold of power is hard work.
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Take Emperor Justinian II,
ruler of the Byzantine Empire.
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He got overthrown, had his nose cut
off, and was banished from his home.
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Then, ten years later,
he was back on the throne.
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Picture the scene -
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you're Justinian II,
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ruler of the Byzantine Empire.
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It's kind of a continuation
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of the Roman Empire, but based
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here in Constantinople,
instead of here, in Rome.
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Things are going great,
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when suddenly...
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This happened!
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My rival's stolen my throne and cut
off my nose so that no-one would
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00:08:18,640 --> 00:08:20,599
ever let me be Emperor again.
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00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:25,159
Uh-oh! Having no nose is a big no-no
for a Byzantine Emperor.
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00:08:25,160 --> 00:08:28,079
They're expected to look
physically perfect, like Gods.
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Whoa! What happened, man?
You pick your nose with an axe?
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Some emperor you'd be.
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I guess there's nothing I can do.
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Not so fast,
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00:08:36,280 --> 00:08:37,879
here at Byzantium Bling,
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we've got the solution for you!
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A golden nose!
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Wow, it's so shiny and heavy.
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Ooh!
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I've got a nose again.
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00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:50,159
And it's not just...perfect,
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it's solid gold!
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00:08:51,520 --> 00:08:54,839
Now, no-one can say you don't look
good enough to rule again.
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00:08:54,840 --> 00:08:57,119
Hey, great 24-carat conk.
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00:08:57,120 --> 00:09:00,079
You can rule over
my empire any time.
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00:09:00,080 --> 00:09:02,719
Thanks, Byzantium Bling!
219
00:09:02,720 --> 00:09:05,799
Order your golden schnoz
today and Byzantium Bling
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00:09:05,800 --> 00:09:08,279
will throw in a free set
of imperial robes.
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00:09:08,280 --> 00:09:10,199
Aha! Wow!
222
00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:13,759
Get your golden nose
at Byzantium Bling today!
223
00:09:13,760 --> 00:09:15,799
My emperor's got no nose.
224
00:09:15,800 --> 00:09:17,519
How does he smell?
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Fabulous!
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00:09:18,760 --> 00:09:20,200
Oh...
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00:09:21,440 --> 00:09:24,119
SHE CACKLES
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00:09:24,120 --> 00:09:28,719
Make way for Qin Shi Huangdi, first,
and probably only Emperor of China,
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00:09:28,720 --> 00:09:31,479
for he will live forever
thanks to the magic potion
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00:09:31,480 --> 00:09:32,799
he's been drinking.
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00:09:32,800 --> 00:09:34,439
He's in the prime of life!
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00:09:34,440 --> 00:09:37,919
Sir, the Emperor's being very quiet
in there.
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00:09:37,920 --> 00:09:39,519
Do you think you should
check on him?
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00:09:39,520 --> 00:09:42,800
OK, he's probably just thinking
about how healthy he is.
235
00:09:47,800 --> 00:09:49,759
Yep, still dead.
236
00:09:49,760 --> 00:09:51,599
He's fine, off we go!
237
00:09:51,600 --> 00:09:52,999
Really? Yeah, he's just got
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a sore throat, so
he can't talk. May I see?
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00:09:55,200 --> 00:09:56,720
RECORD SCRATCHES
240
00:09:57,840 --> 00:09:59,879
Yes, Your Majesty.
He says no.
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00:09:59,880 --> 00:10:01,359
I thought you said he couldn't talk.
242
00:10:01,360 --> 00:10:02,919
He said it with his eyes.
243
00:10:02,920 --> 00:10:04,119
Off we go.
244
00:10:04,120 --> 00:10:07,439
If the Emperor is ill,
then shouldn't we call
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00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:09,319
for his oldest son, Fu Su?
246
00:10:09,320 --> 00:10:11,439
No, we are not calling for Fu Su.
247
00:10:11,440 --> 00:10:13,519
I know you don't get on with him,
248
00:10:13,520 --> 00:10:16,079
and, yes, he will sack
you if he takes charge but...
249
00:10:16,080 --> 00:10:19,159
No, the Emperor is
perfectly healthy.
250
00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:22,599
Well, the Emperor did write
this letter that says Fu Su
251
00:10:22,600 --> 00:10:25,159
should take over if he were to die.
252
00:10:25,160 --> 00:10:29,599
We don't need that, the Emperor is
full of beans, in fact...
253
00:10:29,600 --> 00:10:31,239
Uh-huh, yeah...
254
00:10:31,240 --> 00:10:33,520
Mm-hm, uh-huh.
255
00:10:34,640 --> 00:10:38,759
The Emperor says destroy the silly
letter and carry on with the parade,
256
00:10:38,760 --> 00:10:42,319
which he will enjoy quietly
from inside his litter.
257
00:10:42,320 --> 00:10:44,719
Oh, what's that smell?
258
00:10:44,720 --> 00:10:47,519
That will be the fish.
259
00:10:47,520 --> 00:10:51,439
Uh! The Emperor never goes anywhere
without his lucky cart of fish.
260
00:10:51,440 --> 00:10:53,039
That smells awful.
261
00:10:53,040 --> 00:10:56,239
So? It's not like it's the kind
of smell you'd use to cover
262
00:10:56,240 --> 00:10:57,639
up the stink of a dead body
263
00:10:57,640 --> 00:10:58,679
or anything.
264
00:10:58,680 --> 00:11:00,519
Are you sure he's OK
in there?
265
00:11:00,520 --> 00:11:02,239
Ugh, fine!
266
00:11:02,240 --> 00:11:03,839
I'll go and get him.
267
00:11:03,840 --> 00:11:05,890
HIGH-PITCH: Come on, Sire,
out you pop!
268
00:11:05,891 --> 00:11:10,199
MIMICKING EMPEROR: I want you
to write a new letter telling Fu Su
269
00:11:10,200 --> 00:11:13,679
I hate him and that he should stab
himself to death!
270
00:11:13,680 --> 00:11:16,159
Well, if you insist, Sire.
271
00:11:16,160 --> 00:11:18,479
OK, let's get this tour back
on the road
272
00:11:18,480 --> 00:11:20,199
before everything falls apart -
273
00:11:20,200 --> 00:11:22,159
including the Emperor.
274
00:11:22,160 --> 00:11:25,519
Make way for Qin Shi Huangdi
of China,
275
00:11:25,520 --> 00:11:27,240
who's feeling great!
276
00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:32,239
Running a truly massive
empire isn't easy,
277
00:11:32,240 --> 00:11:35,959
and every empire that rises
must one day fall,
278
00:11:35,960 --> 00:11:38,119
even the most famous empires of all.
279
00:11:38,120 --> 00:11:40,279
Take the Roman Empire -
280
00:11:40,280 --> 00:11:42,359
it existed for hundreds of years,
281
00:11:42,360 --> 00:11:47,759
invading and taking over large
parts of Europe, Africa and Asia.
282
00:11:47,760 --> 00:11:50,119
But they got a taste of
their own medicine
283
00:11:50,120 --> 00:11:55,599
when Atilla the Hun and his nomadic
Hunnic Empire decided to invade.
284
00:11:55,600 --> 00:11:57,199
HE MOANS
285
00:11:57,200 --> 00:11:58,639
Hi, guys!
286
00:11:58,640 --> 00:12:01,839
You know, life in Atilla's
Hunnic Empire can be so hectic.
287
00:12:01,840 --> 00:12:02,999
But guess what?
288
00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:05,999
All that rush is
no reason not to look plush.
289
00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:08,639
That's why today we're here
with our friend
290
00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:10,479
from the Roman Empire - Octavius.
291
00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:12,399
Octavius, come on in!
292
00:12:12,400 --> 00:12:15,199
I can't, you've tied me to a tree.
293
00:12:15,200 --> 00:12:17,959
You know, we Huns are always
making friends -
294
00:12:17,960 --> 00:12:19,639
by attacking the Roman Empire
295
00:12:19,640 --> 00:12:22,759
and taking their Roman people
away against their will.
296
00:12:22,760 --> 00:12:24,039
Can you untie me, please?
297
00:12:24,040 --> 00:12:27,839
They get to join our
big, multi-racial Hun clan!
298
00:12:27,840 --> 00:12:29,000
Or die.
299
00:12:31,080 --> 00:12:34,559
Octavius of Rome, we're going to
put the hip in your hippodrome
300
00:12:34,560 --> 00:12:36,239
and make you a Hun.
301
00:12:36,240 --> 00:12:37,880
UPBEAT POP STING
302
00:12:47,360 --> 00:12:50,479
You guys in the Roman Empire may
call our leader, Atilla,
303
00:12:50,480 --> 00:12:51,599
the scourge of God,
304
00:12:51,600 --> 00:12:54,079
but you guys are definitely
the scourge of fashion.
305
00:12:54,080 --> 00:12:55,279
Ugh!
306
00:12:55,280 --> 00:12:57,079
Honey, where did it all go wrong?
307
00:12:57,080 --> 00:12:59,679
It went wrong when you guys invaded
and burnt down my town!
308
00:12:59,680 --> 00:13:01,800
HE LAUGHS
309
00:12:59,680 --> 00:13:01,799
Makeover time!
310
00:13:01,800 --> 00:13:03,200
UPBEAT POP STING
311
00:13:05,120 --> 00:13:08,399
Let's start with like a simple,
basic, Hunnic head stretch.
312
00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:09,759
Sorry, did you say stretch?
313
00:13:09,760 --> 00:13:10,879
That's right!
314
00:13:10,880 --> 00:13:13,319
We're going to wrap
your head so tightly in bandages
315
00:13:13,320 --> 00:13:15,839
that it stretches and
goes all pointy like ours.
316
00:13:15,840 --> 00:13:18,599
And all that facial hair
is going come right off.
317
00:13:18,600 --> 00:13:20,119
Aw! We wouldn't really use that.
318
00:13:20,120 --> 00:13:21,439
No way!
319
00:13:21,440 --> 00:13:22,839
We're going to burn it off.
320
00:13:22,840 --> 00:13:24,079
Yay!
321
00:13:24,080 --> 00:13:25,359
Please, don't burn me.
322
00:13:25,360 --> 00:13:27,440
Aw! Are you OK, Hun?
323
00:13:31,760 --> 00:13:35,119
So I've been thinking mainly
leathers and animal skins -
324
00:13:35,120 --> 00:13:38,399
they're warm, they're hardwearing
and they look fantastic.
325
00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:40,199
On someone with muscles!
326
00:13:40,200 --> 00:13:43,479
Oh, talk about a Roman sad-iator,
am I right?
327
00:13:43,480 --> 00:13:46,599
And what better way to get fit
than by fighting a bear?
328
00:13:46,600 --> 00:13:47,679
Fighting a what?
329
00:13:47,680 --> 00:13:49,440
O-M-G. You've got a bear!
330
00:13:47,680 --> 00:13:49,439
BEAR GRUNTS
331
00:13:49,440 --> 00:13:50,879
That is so you.
332
00:13:50,880 --> 00:13:52,120
It is.
333
00:13:50,880 --> 00:13:52,119
BEAR GROWLS
334
00:13:52,120 --> 00:13:54,280
Help! Naughty!
335
00:13:52,120 --> 00:13:54,279
THEY CHUCKLE
336
00:13:54,280 --> 00:13:56,439
Ooh, talk about being
a bar-bear-ian!
337
00:13:56,440 --> 00:13:58,200
ROMAN SCREAMS
338
00:13:56,440 --> 00:13:58,199
Aw.
339
00:13:58,200 --> 00:13:59,799
I think that bear really likes him.
BEAR GROWLS, GRUNTS
340
00:13:59,800 --> 00:14:00,959
Oh, not the face!
341
00:14:00,960 --> 00:14:02,280
UPBEAT POP STING
342
00:14:04,560 --> 00:14:05,719
When we met Octavius,
343
00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:08,999
he was living happily with
his family inside the Roman Empire.
344
00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:10,879
Whatever!
345
00:14:10,880 --> 00:14:12,919
But now, this Roman's gone from
346
00:14:12,920 --> 00:14:15,360
Emperor Zero to Hunnic hero!
347
00:14:16,400 --> 00:14:17,679
Octavius!
348
00:14:17,680 --> 00:14:20,359
Hun, you look fierce! Meow!
349
00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:21,799
Yeah. I'm furious!
350
00:14:21,800 --> 00:14:23,199
Look what you've done to my head!
351
00:14:23,200 --> 00:14:25,239
Work it, twerk it, strike a pose.
352
00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:26,559
And now the big question is -
353
00:14:26,560 --> 00:14:29,999
are you going to come pillaging with
us as we burn away across Europe?
354
00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:33,279
Or are we going to have to
like kill you or something?
355
00:14:33,280 --> 00:14:36,079
UNENTHUSIATICALLY: Let's go raid
the Roman Empire, Hun.
356
00:14:36,080 --> 00:14:39,399
Yay! Let's all dance
and then eat raw meat.
357
00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:40,959
See you next time!
358
00:14:40,960 --> 00:14:42,160
Woo!
359
00:14:44,400 --> 00:14:47,359
The British Empire was
the biggest of them all.
360
00:14:47,360 --> 00:14:48,959
But it started life small.
361
00:14:48,960 --> 00:14:52,519
Hundreds of years before
Britain had even existed -
362
00:14:52,520 --> 00:14:55,159
when Queen Elizabeth I
granted a royal charter
363
00:14:55,160 --> 00:14:56,919
to the East India Company,
364
00:14:56,920 --> 00:14:59,799
meaning they could travel the world
searching for treasures
365
00:14:59,800 --> 00:15:01,679
they could sell back home.
366
00:15:01,680 --> 00:15:04,239
They brought lots of fancy new items
back to England like
367
00:15:04,240 --> 00:15:06,519
tea, cotton and silk
368
00:15:06,520 --> 00:15:08,479
and delicious spices,
369
00:15:08,480 --> 00:15:10,279
which made them all very rich.
370
00:15:10,280 --> 00:15:13,679
It was trips like these that led
Britain to become richer
371
00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:16,319
at the expense
of the countries they'd visited.
372
00:15:16,320 --> 00:15:19,959
But that didn't mean those early
trips were all successful.
373
00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:24,839
Coming soon, a band of plucky
adventurers take to the high seas.
374
00:15:24,840 --> 00:15:27,679
With the backing
of Queen Elizabeth,
375
00:15:27,680 --> 00:15:31,280
our small fleet of mighty ships
will make history.
376
00:15:33,871 --> 00:15:38,719
Still wish we'd got a cooler
sounding fourth boat.
377
00:15:38,720 --> 00:15:40,360
Yeah. Me too.
378
00:15:43,120 --> 00:15:44,879
Loose the top sails!
379
00:15:44,880 --> 00:15:47,279
Nothing can stop us now.
380
00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:48,799
Actually, it's a bit windy.
381
00:15:48,800 --> 00:15:51,000
Right. Back to port.
382
00:15:52,320 --> 00:15:54,879
When they eventually set out
two months later,
383
00:15:54,880 --> 00:15:57,119
it went really, really well.
384
00:15:57,120 --> 00:15:58,399
RETCHING AND SPLATTERING
385
00:15:58,400 --> 00:16:00,879
It'll take more than a little
sickness to get this crew down.
386
00:16:00,880 --> 00:16:02,439
They laugh in the face of...
387
00:16:02,440 --> 00:16:04,479
I can't take it any more!
388
00:16:04,480 --> 00:16:05,800
Oh!
389
00:16:04,480 --> 00:16:05,799
SPLASH!
390
00:16:05,800 --> 00:16:07,639
Did someone just
jump off the boat?
391
00:16:07,640 --> 00:16:10,239
I think it's fair to say morale
is a little low.
392
00:16:10,240 --> 00:16:11,679
VIOLENT RETCHING
393
00:16:11,680 --> 00:16:13,239
COUGHING
394
00:16:13,240 --> 00:16:15,559
Starring the Commander
of the Fleet -
395
00:16:15,560 --> 00:16:17,999
James Lancaster,
who will lead his men
396
00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:21,159
to foreign treasures in the East.
397
00:16:21,160 --> 00:16:24,559
Behold our Indonesian treasure.
398
00:16:24,560 --> 00:16:26,159
Now we can go home.
399
00:16:26,160 --> 00:16:27,959
Dirtiest looking
diamonds I've ever seen.
400
00:16:27,960 --> 00:16:29,119
These aren't diamonds.
401
00:16:29,120 --> 00:16:30,519
This is pepper -
402
00:16:30,520 --> 00:16:32,399
worth its weight in gold at home,
403
00:16:32,400 --> 00:16:34,279
and now we've got a whole boatful!
404
00:16:34,280 --> 00:16:35,439
Achoo!
405
00:16:35,440 --> 00:16:37,720
ALL SNEEZING
406
00:16:39,840 --> 00:16:42,519
But the journey home isn't easy.
407
00:16:42,520 --> 00:16:44,799
The Red Dragon... Achoo!
408
00:16:44,800 --> 00:16:46,319
..is so badly damaged
409
00:16:46,320 --> 00:16:48,599
that we'll have to... Achoo!
410
00:16:48,600 --> 00:16:50,639
..tow her home with the Hector...
411
00:16:50,640 --> 00:16:51,919
Achoo!
412
00:16:51,920 --> 00:16:54,119
Argh, I sneezed
a bit of wee out.
413
00:16:54,120 --> 00:16:58,319
Finally our adventurers return
home to a new king.
414
00:16:58,320 --> 00:17:00,919
Your Majesty, we bring you
415
00:17:00,920 --> 00:17:02,719
the treasure of the Orient.
416
00:17:02,720 --> 00:17:04,719
Ooh! Excellent news.
417
00:17:04,720 --> 00:17:06,639
It'll be good to
get something other than pepper.
418
00:17:06,640 --> 00:17:08,559
We've got tonnes of the stuff!
Can't shift it.
419
00:17:08,560 --> 00:17:11,199
Oh...no!
420
00:17:11,200 --> 00:17:13,759
Great, more pepper,
just what we need!
421
00:17:13,760 --> 00:17:14,959
Well, I'm not paying for it
422
00:17:14,960 --> 00:17:17,159
and I don't want you selling it
because I want to sell mine first.
423
00:17:17,160 --> 00:17:18,639
So how are you
going to pay us
424
00:17:18,640 --> 00:17:20,399
if you can't sell
the pepper?
425
00:17:20,400 --> 00:17:21,879
Ah. Oh, I'll pay you with...
426
00:17:21,880 --> 00:17:23,119
Achoo! ..the treasure.
427
00:17:23,120 --> 00:17:25,280
BOTH SNEEZE
428
00:17:27,720 --> 00:17:29,120
Coming s-soo...
429
00:17:27,720 --> 00:17:29,119
SNIFFLING
430
00:17:29,120 --> 00:17:30,839
Oh, no, it's got up my nose, too!
431
00:17:30,840 --> 00:17:33,240
LOUD SNEEZING
432
00:17:35,080 --> 00:17:37,799
The East India Company sailed
around the world,
433
00:17:37,800 --> 00:17:39,879
grew in wealth and size,
434
00:17:39,880 --> 00:17:44,559
and 200 years later was
more powerful than some countries.
435
00:17:44,560 --> 00:17:47,639
This laid the groundwork
for the British Empire,
436
00:17:47,640 --> 00:17:50,719
which ended up taking over
countries entirely,
437
00:17:50,720 --> 00:17:53,999
and forcing its ideas
and rules on the local people.
438
00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:57,039
And that didn't make the Empire
very popular.
439
00:17:57,040 --> 00:17:58,640
Mm-mm-mm.
440
00:17:59,880 --> 00:18:01,039
DISTANT YELLING
441
00:18:01,040 --> 00:18:03,719
Now, gentlemen, in precisely
one minute's time,
442
00:18:03,720 --> 00:18:05,560
we're going to march...
443
00:18:03,720 --> 00:18:05,559
STOMACH GROWLING
444
00:18:05,560 --> 00:18:08,239
..as British soldiers fighting
for the East India Company
445
00:18:08,240 --> 00:18:11,079
into battle at Seringapatam.
Now, how do you like that?
446
00:18:11,080 --> 00:18:12,479
Any chance we could do it
tomorrow, Colonel?
447
00:18:12,480 --> 00:18:13,719
LOUD FARTS
448
00:18:13,720 --> 00:18:16,279
No, we cannot do it tomorrow,
we're doing it today.
449
00:18:16,280 --> 00:18:18,399
Can we have this conversation
in the shade, Sir?
450
00:18:18,400 --> 00:18:19,919
I think my hat has cooked my head!
451
00:18:19,920 --> 00:18:22,399
No, we cannot talk in the shade.
STOMACH GROWLING
452
00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:24,879
A British soldier stands
where he must -
453
00:18:24,880 --> 00:18:26,959
be that under fire,
in the ice or in the sun!
454
00:18:26,960 --> 00:18:28,959
STOMACH GROWLING
LOUD FARTS
455
00:18:28,960 --> 00:18:31,320
Is that understood?
456
00:18:28,960 --> 00:18:31,320
SOLDIER GROANS
457
00:18:32,840 --> 00:18:34,239
They must be very strong.
458
00:18:34,240 --> 00:18:36,950
I think their leader just killed
a man with his finger.
459
00:18:36,951 --> 00:18:41,639
Why are the British wearing such
ridiculously hot and thick uniforms?
460
00:18:41,640 --> 00:18:43,559
If you're going to march into
someone else's country,
461
00:18:43,560 --> 00:18:45,159
killing anyone who resists,
462
00:18:45,160 --> 00:18:47,439
the least you could do is
dress appropriately.
463
00:18:47,440 --> 00:18:48,799
We're struggling with the sun, Sir!
464
00:18:48,800 --> 00:18:50,000
I mean, we all are!
465
00:18:48,800 --> 00:18:49,999
LOUD FARTS
466
00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:51,759
We're not used to it.
Or the fevers!
467
00:18:51,760 --> 00:18:53,519
Or the water. Or the food.
468
00:18:53,520 --> 00:18:55,000
LOUD FARTS
469
00:18:53,520 --> 00:18:54,999
Oh! Sorry.
470
00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:56,199
I've got the dysentery, Sir.
471
00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:58,360
LOUD FARTS
472
00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:58,359
Oh! Ah! Hey! Ohh-oh!
473
00:18:58,360 --> 00:18:59,559
That was a close one.
474
00:18:59,560 --> 00:19:02,159
I don't care if it's a bit hot.
475
00:19:02,160 --> 00:19:03,720
I don't care...
476
00:19:02,160 --> 00:19:03,719
LOUD FARTS
477
00:19:03,720 --> 00:19:06,159
..if you've got a runny bottom!
LOUD FARTS
478
00:19:06,160 --> 00:19:09,719
I don't care if anyone's got
a little bit of fever.
479
00:19:09,720 --> 00:19:12,599
Lemons... Badgers. Soup fairies!
480
00:19:12,600 --> 00:19:14,159
That's just fever,
he's seeing things!
481
00:19:14,160 --> 00:19:15,880
LOUD FARTS
482
00:19:14,160 --> 00:19:15,879
Ha! Ha! Ho! Ha! Ho! Ha! Ho!
483
00:19:15,880 --> 00:19:17,320
Wow!
484
00:19:15,880 --> 00:19:17,319
LOUD FARTS
485
00:19:17,320 --> 00:19:18,879
I promise
I'm trying to keep them in.
486
00:19:18,880 --> 00:19:20,960
FARTS ECHO
487
00:19:18,880 --> 00:19:20,959
Can you hear gunfire?
488
00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:23,759
I think some of them
soldiers are dropping bottom bombs.
489
00:19:23,760 --> 00:19:25,199
They can't handle food with flavour.
490
00:19:25,200 --> 00:19:26,439
It goes straight through them.
491
00:19:26,440 --> 00:19:28,519
It is a mystery why
they keep stealing food from us.
492
00:19:28,520 --> 00:19:29,799
FARTS ECHO
493
00:19:29,800 --> 00:19:30,879
When they finally leave,
494
00:19:30,880 --> 00:19:32,839
it is going to take an age
to clean up after them.
495
00:19:32,840 --> 00:19:35,399
And to rebuild all the cities
they burned.
496
00:19:35,400 --> 00:19:37,120
LOUD FARTS
497
00:19:35,400 --> 00:19:37,119
You lot are a disgrace!
498
00:19:37,120 --> 00:19:39,319
Now, you need to be ready
to march...
499
00:19:39,320 --> 00:19:42,039
March?! I am standing dead still
and clenching my bum.
500
00:19:42,040 --> 00:19:43,239
DEEP GURGLING
501
00:19:43,240 --> 00:19:45,559
If I march...it's going to be
carnage.
502
00:19:45,560 --> 00:19:46,679
LOUD FARTS
503
00:19:46,680 --> 00:19:49,119
Well, perhaps you'd like to be
excused from battle today.
504
00:19:49,120 --> 00:19:50,639
LOUD FARTS
505
00:19:50,640 --> 00:19:53,079
You shower of toilets!
506
00:19:53,080 --> 00:19:56,399
The British Empire covers
one sixth of the world's land!
507
00:19:56,400 --> 00:19:59,119
The British soldiers are feared
around the globe!
508
00:19:59,120 --> 00:20:00,839
Do you really think a bit of heat,
509
00:20:00,840 --> 00:20:03,359
gut churning's going to stop us?!
DEEP GURLING
510
00:20:03,360 --> 00:20:05,640
STOMACH GROWLING
511
00:20:03,360 --> 00:20:05,639
Ohh-ohh, ohh...
512
00:20:05,640 --> 00:20:06,759
That might slow us down, actually.
513
00:20:06,760 --> 00:20:09,039
LOUD FARTS
514
00:20:09,040 --> 00:20:11,559
Going to need a new uniform.
515
00:20:11,560 --> 00:20:14,439
I just can't believe
we're losing this war to these guys.
516
00:20:14,440 --> 00:20:15,920
They'll go eventually.
517
00:20:14,440 --> 00:20:15,919
FARTS ECHO
518
00:20:15,920 --> 00:20:17,639
They'll have to -
they'll run out of underwear.
519
00:20:17,640 --> 00:20:19,039
FARTS ECHO
520
00:20:19,040 --> 00:20:20,600
THEY LAUGH
521
00:20:21,880 --> 00:20:24,639
Hello! What do you want?
522
00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:27,399
Well, I know you chaps
don't like change very much.
523
00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:29,919
If by change,
you mean being invaded by you,
524
00:20:29,920 --> 00:20:31,559
you're right, we don't.
525
00:20:31,560 --> 00:20:34,159
Yes, well,
I actually have some very good news.
526
00:20:34,160 --> 00:20:35,399
Yeah? Ha!
527
00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:36,999
When are you leaving? Ha-ha!
528
00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:39,159
THEY LAUGH
529
00:20:39,160 --> 00:20:40,879
No, we're not going anywhere.
530
00:20:40,880 --> 00:20:43,119
But I am bringing in
a new money system.
531
00:20:43,120 --> 00:20:45,479
It's a special West African version
532
00:20:45,480 --> 00:20:49,039
of the British colonial currency
system used across the Empire.
533
00:20:49,040 --> 00:20:50,999
And we have it in Britian, too -
fun fact.
534
00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:52,639
Now, Johnson, if you would.
535
00:20:52,640 --> 00:20:54,640
Behold! A penny.
536
00:20:52,640 --> 00:20:54,639
CAT YOWLS
537
00:20:54,640 --> 00:20:56,559
OK, it sounds simple.
538
00:20:56,560 --> 00:20:58,199
Two halfpennies make a penny,
539
00:20:58,200 --> 00:21:00,479
and a tuppence is two pennies.
540
00:21:00,480 --> 00:21:02,039
Thanks for explaining the coins.
541
00:21:02,040 --> 00:21:03,279
Just getting started.
542
00:21:03,280 --> 00:21:04,439
12 pennies make a shilling
543
00:21:04,440 --> 00:21:06,199
and 20 shillings make a pound.
544
00:21:06,200 --> 00:21:08,759
So a pound is 240 pence?
545
00:21:08,760 --> 00:21:11,079
If you do keep interrupting,
we will be here all day.
546
00:21:11,080 --> 00:21:13,599
Wouldn't it be easier
if we could divide it all by ten?
547
00:21:13,600 --> 00:21:15,599
And use the French decimal system?
548
00:21:15,600 --> 00:21:16,919
How dare you!
549
00:21:16,920 --> 00:21:18,479
Anyway, there's more -
550
00:21:18,480 --> 00:21:21,119
one florin is one tenth of a pound,
551
00:21:21,120 --> 00:21:22,359
also two shillings.
552
00:21:22,360 --> 00:21:23,719
There are five shillings in a crown,
553
00:21:23,720 --> 00:21:25,999
so obviously,
there are four crowns in a pound.
554
00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:27,279
It used to be 21 shillings
to a guinea,
555
00:21:27,280 --> 00:21:28,599
but we don't really use
those any more.
556
00:21:28,600 --> 00:21:29,879
21? Yes.
557
00:21:29,880 --> 00:21:31,039
A penny is also one D.
558
00:21:31,040 --> 00:21:32,359
A shilling is known as a bob.
559
00:21:32,360 --> 00:21:33,559
A thruppence is three pennies
560
00:21:33,560 --> 00:21:34,599
or a thrupenny bit.
561
00:21:34,600 --> 00:21:36,239
Half a shilling is
a sixpence or a tanner.
562
00:21:36,240 --> 00:21:38,039
Not to be confused with a £10 note,
563
00:21:38,040 --> 00:21:39,279
which is known as a tenner.
564
00:21:39,280 --> 00:21:41,439
And a four pence used to be
known as a groat.
565
00:21:41,440 --> 00:21:42,559
All clear?
566
00:21:42,560 --> 00:21:43,799
Permission to lie down, sir.
567
00:21:43,800 --> 00:21:45,039
Permission denied!
568
00:21:45,040 --> 00:21:48,239
Can we not just keep using
the cowrie shells and the godots?
569
00:21:48,240 --> 00:21:50,040
HE SCOFFS
570
00:21:48,240 --> 00:21:50,039
It's much simpler.
571
00:21:50,040 --> 00:21:52,439
LAUGHS: Shells?
Who uses shells to trade?
572
00:21:52,440 --> 00:21:55,719
At times, most of Africa,
Asia, North America,
573
00:21:55,720 --> 00:21:58,399
and Australia, and the Middle East.
574
00:21:58,400 --> 00:21:59,799
And I bet it's not as heavy
575
00:21:59,800 --> 00:22:01,839
as carrying around all those coins.
576
00:22:01,840 --> 00:22:04,879
Ah, yeah, well,
that's why we also have paper money.
577
00:22:04,880 --> 00:22:07,039
Flexible and lightweight.
578
00:22:07,040 --> 00:22:08,639
And easy to damage.
579
00:22:08,640 --> 00:22:10,479
You can't use your paper money
around here,
580
00:22:10,480 --> 00:22:12,199
the termites will have it for lunch.
581
00:22:12,200 --> 00:22:13,279
Hey, give me that back!
582
00:22:13,280 --> 00:22:14,599
That's got a
king's head on it!
583
00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:16,039
Not any more,
it doesn't.
584
00:22:16,040 --> 00:22:17,119
That's treason, isn't it?
585
00:22:17,120 --> 00:22:18,679
Right, I want these termites shot!
586
00:22:18,680 --> 00:22:20,959
Well, I can organise a really small
firing squad, sir.
587
00:22:20,960 --> 00:22:23,039
Yeah, get a tiny firing squad in!
588
00:22:23,040 --> 00:22:24,919
Look, look, look,
we'll take the coins.
589
00:22:24,920 --> 00:22:26,039
Excellent.
590
00:22:26,040 --> 00:22:28,599
And we'll melt them down to make
something more useful.
591
00:22:28,600 --> 00:22:30,879
Jewellery, decorations,
592
00:22:30,880 --> 00:22:32,759
maybe even a bum scratcher.
593
00:22:32,760 --> 00:22:36,319
What?! You can't use
the king's head as a bum scratcher!
594
00:22:36,320 --> 00:22:38,159
I mean why would
you need a bum scratcher?
595
00:22:38,160 --> 00:22:39,399
For the termites.
596
00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:40,799
You're standing on their nest.
597
00:22:40,800 --> 00:22:42,119
HE SQUEALS
598
00:22:42,120 --> 00:22:43,719
GRUNTING
599
00:22:43,720 --> 00:22:44,999
May I have a bum scratcher?
600
00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:46,279
I only take shells.
601
00:22:46,280 --> 00:22:48,560
SHE GUFFAWS
602
00:22:50,080 --> 00:22:52,519
I wasn't just Queen of
Great Britain, you know?
603
00:22:52,520 --> 00:22:55,279
I was also head of
the British Empire.
604
00:22:55,280 --> 00:22:57,239
Look how big it was.
605
00:22:57,240 --> 00:23:01,039
Surely such a huge empire would last
forever - some chance!
606
00:23:01,040 --> 00:23:05,039
It turned out, quite a lot of people
were unhappy being ruled by us,
607
00:23:05,040 --> 00:23:08,199
and many of them started fighting us
for their independence.
608
00:23:08,200 --> 00:23:11,239
In India, Mahatma Gandhi came up
with a new tactic -
609
00:23:11,240 --> 00:23:12,839
not to fight at all.
610
00:23:12,840 --> 00:23:15,159
He launched
a series of peaceful protests
611
00:23:15,160 --> 00:23:16,719
which were rather effective,
612
00:23:16,720 --> 00:23:19,000
although, of course,
he didn't do it alone.
613
00:23:25,360 --> 00:23:26,879
Namaste, Gandhi.
614
00:23:26,880 --> 00:23:28,599
Sarojini Naidu here.
615
00:23:28,600 --> 00:23:31,079
Politician, protester, poet.
616
00:23:31,080 --> 00:23:32,879
How's that vow of silence going?
617
00:23:32,880 --> 00:23:35,319
I hear you're not going to
talk on Mondays
618
00:23:35,320 --> 00:23:37,319
until India is free from Britain.
619
00:23:37,320 --> 00:23:38,719
It's a powerful idea!
620
00:23:38,720 --> 00:23:39,879
I shall do the same -
621
00:23:39,880 --> 00:23:41,319
starting right now.
622
00:23:41,320 --> 00:23:42,839
CLOCK TICKS
623
00:23:42,840 --> 00:23:44,240
How long was that?
624
00:23:42,840 --> 00:23:44,239
BUZZING
625
00:23:44,240 --> 00:23:45,319
A few seconds?
626
00:23:45,320 --> 00:23:46,880
Er...
627
00:23:45,320 --> 00:23:46,879
SHE LAUGHS
628
00:23:46,880 --> 00:23:48,879
Well, what can I say,
my ugly angel,
629
00:23:48,880 --> 00:23:50,320
I like talking.
630
00:23:53,440 --> 00:23:56,079
May I remind you that
I am a major figure
631
00:23:56,080 --> 00:23:58,519
in the Indian Independence Movement,
632
00:23:58,520 --> 00:24:00,079
so maybe lose the silly nicknames.
633
00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:02,199
If the British thought
their prince's visit
634
00:24:02,200 --> 00:24:04,399
was going to make them
more popular in India,
635
00:24:04,400 --> 00:24:05,759
they have had a rude awakening.
636
00:24:05,760 --> 00:24:08,319
Our strikes and closures have
shut the country down!
637
00:24:08,320 --> 00:24:10,559
VICTORY STING PLAYS
638
00:24:10,560 --> 00:24:14,519
But we do need to organise
one of our peaceful protests
639
00:24:14,520 --> 00:24:18,880
for Prince Edward's visit
to the Uttar Pradesh University.
640
00:24:20,160 --> 00:24:22,359
OK, Gandhi, no more nicknames,
641
00:24:22,360 --> 00:24:23,999
my little Mickey Mouse.
642
00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:25,639
Don't worry about
the Prince's visit
643
00:24:25,640 --> 00:24:26,839
to the university,
644
00:24:26,840 --> 00:24:28,879
all the students are walking
out in protest.
645
00:24:28,880 --> 00:24:30,360
SHE LAUGHS
646
00:24:28,880 --> 00:24:30,359
It'll be so embarrassing
647
00:24:30,360 --> 00:24:32,759
for the Prince - and Britain -
648
00:24:32,760 --> 00:24:35,479
when he turns up
and there's nobody there.
649
00:24:35,480 --> 00:24:38,440
Hang on, Prince Edward has
just posted a story.
650
00:24:41,960 --> 00:24:43,239
Good afternoon.
651
00:24:43,240 --> 00:24:44,799
Except it is NOT
a good afternoon.
652
00:24:44,800 --> 00:24:47,159
I have just visited
your university
653
00:24:47,160 --> 00:24:49,599
and I must say, I am not happy.
654
00:24:49,600 --> 00:24:52,599
As if your little walk-out
protest was bad enough,
655
00:24:52,600 --> 00:24:55,079
the university governors
are trying to make it seem
656
00:24:55,080 --> 00:24:57,719
like the students are still there
by filling the halls
657
00:24:57,720 --> 00:24:59,839
with Europeans and children -
658
00:24:59,840 --> 00:25:01,159
like this one!
659
00:25:01,160 --> 00:25:03,599
Me? A child?
660
00:25:03,600 --> 00:25:05,479
I'm 59 and three quarters!
661
00:25:05,480 --> 00:25:06,839
I'll be writing to the King
662
00:25:06,840 --> 00:25:09,199
to tell him that this trip
cost millions of rupees
663
00:25:09,200 --> 00:25:11,560
and you have turned
it into a farce!
664
00:25:13,120 --> 00:25:14,639
It worked! Yes!
665
00:25:14,640 --> 00:25:16,279
The Royal Visit is a disaster!
666
00:25:16,280 --> 00:25:17,799
We must keep the pressure up.
667
00:25:17,800 --> 00:25:18,959
More burning of British
668
00:25:18,960 --> 00:25:20,719
imported cloth, and more strikes,
669
00:25:20,720 --> 00:25:22,040
more no talking on...
670
00:25:23,440 --> 00:25:24,639
Oh...
671
00:25:24,640 --> 00:25:25,799
Oh, it's... It's Monday.
672
00:25:25,800 --> 00:25:27,920
Oh, no, I-I-I shouldn't be...
673
00:25:30,520 --> 00:25:32,919
That's it, Gandhi! We'll show them.
674
00:25:32,920 --> 00:25:35,999
No more talking until
India is independent.
675
00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:37,879
Go!
676
00:25:37,880 --> 00:25:39,399
Is India independent yet?
677
00:25:39,400 --> 00:25:40,560
BUZZING
678
00:25:39,400 --> 00:25:40,559
No! Shh!
679
00:25:40,560 --> 00:25:42,840
Oh. Oops.
680
00:25:44,800 --> 00:25:47,479
Despite Gandhi
and his comrades' hard work,
681
00:25:47,480 --> 00:25:51,639
India didn't gain its independence
until 1947.
682
00:25:51,640 --> 00:25:54,519
Other countries also fought to
rule themselves,
683
00:25:54,520 --> 00:25:57,919
and so the sun began to
set on the British Empire -
684
00:25:57,920 --> 00:26:00,279
just as it had on all the other
empires before.
685
00:26:00,280 --> 00:26:02,759
Here to explain more is
Augustus of Rome,
686
00:26:02,760 --> 00:26:05,920
Napoleon of France,
and Britain's Queen Victoria.
687
00:26:07,200 --> 00:26:09,039
Augustus at your service
688
00:26:09,040 --> 00:26:12,519
Heir to Julius Caesar
689
00:26:12,520 --> 00:26:14,919
I was the first Roman Emperor
690
00:26:14,920 --> 00:26:17,759
One of history's greatest leaders
691
00:26:17,760 --> 00:26:20,039
Beat all my enemies
692
00:26:20,040 --> 00:26:22,679
I sure gave them what for
693
00:26:22,680 --> 00:26:27,439
Grew the Roman Empire
and ended a civil war
694
00:26:27,440 --> 00:26:30,199
When I departed,
we'd just started
695
00:26:30,200 --> 00:26:32,679
Adding countries to the list
696
00:26:32,680 --> 00:26:35,679
No chance to reason with
well-armed legions
697
00:26:35,680 --> 00:26:37,679
How could they resist?
698
00:26:37,680 --> 00:26:38,879
But
699
00:26:38,880 --> 00:26:41,679
Empires rise and empires fall
700
00:26:41,680 --> 00:26:43,479
Circulation
701
00:26:43,480 --> 00:26:47,199
The same fate awaits them all
702
00:26:47,200 --> 00:26:48,799
Exploitation
703
00:26:48,800 --> 00:26:53,999
Invading tribes were a sign of
the Roman Empire in decline
704
00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:58,159
The writing's on the wall
705
00:26:58,160 --> 00:27:00,680
Rise and fall
706
00:27:04,520 --> 00:27:06,959
Napoleon Bonaparte
707
00:27:06,960 --> 00:27:09,639
First Emperor of France
708
00:27:09,640 --> 00:27:12,359
During the French Revolution
709
00:27:12,360 --> 00:27:15,319
My prospects were enhanced
710
00:27:15,320 --> 00:27:17,399
Grew the first French Empire
711
00:27:17,400 --> 00:27:19,759
From Mali to Martinique
712
00:27:19,760 --> 00:27:22,199
Until Europe got together
713
00:27:22,200 --> 00:27:25,079
And we were forced to retreat
714
00:27:25,080 --> 00:27:28,119
When I was boss,
three million lives lost
715
00:27:28,120 --> 00:27:30,359
I brought back slavery, too
716
00:27:30,360 --> 00:27:32,919
So those aggrieved were
pretty pleased
717
00:27:32,920 --> 00:27:35,159
When I met my Waterloo
718
00:27:35,160 --> 00:27:36,279
Cos
719
00:27:36,280 --> 00:27:39,159
Empires rise and empires fall
720
00:27:39,160 --> 00:27:40,599
Domination
721
00:27:40,600 --> 00:27:44,479
The same fate awaits them all
722
00:27:44,480 --> 00:27:46,079
Occupation
723
00:27:46,080 --> 00:27:48,559
I bit off more than I could chew
724
00:27:48,560 --> 00:27:51,199
Britannia, over to you
725
00:27:51,200 --> 00:27:55,719
The writing's on the wall
726
00:27:55,720 --> 00:27:57,039
Rise and fall
727
00:27:57,040 --> 00:27:58,879
By the time I came along,
728
00:27:58,880 --> 00:28:01,719
My empire ruled the seas
729
00:28:01,720 --> 00:28:06,959
All around the globe,
we'd founded British colonies
730
00:28:06,960 --> 00:28:12,479
But things started changing,
and once one was off the scene
731
00:28:12,480 --> 00:28:14,639
People wanted freedom
732
00:28:14,640 --> 00:28:17,559
Independence was their dream
733
00:28:17,560 --> 00:28:20,959
Empires rise and empires fall
734
00:28:20,960 --> 00:28:22,719
Liberation
735
00:28:22,720 --> 00:28:25,919
The same fate awaits them all
736
00:28:25,920 --> 00:28:27,759
Our own nation
737
00:28:27,760 --> 00:28:30,559
Taking other lands
to increase our size
738
00:28:30,560 --> 00:28:31,679
Never mind the cost,
739
00:28:31,680 --> 00:28:33,359
Keep your eyes
on the prize, but
740
00:28:33,360 --> 00:28:35,479
Throughout history,
we've found
741
00:28:35,480 --> 00:28:37,119
Once you've reached
the top
742
00:28:37,120 --> 00:28:38,239
The only way is down
743
00:28:38,240 --> 00:28:42,999
The writing's
on the wall
744
00:28:43,000 --> 00:28:46,600
Rise and fall.
745
00:28:46,650 --> 00:28:51,200
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