Original subtitles

Welcome to Scotland.

One of the best countries anywhere in the world.

And you two are in for a treat.

Look at the weather. Oh, the weather...

Look at these beautiful hills.

But I don't understand why you're so passionate about Scotland

and you're more of an American.

I'm what?

You're from LA. You're not from Scotland.

I have a Scottish accent. You don't have any Scottish accent.

You just put it on now.

No, I've got a wee bit at the back. Oh, there we are!

There we are!

I swear. I'm telling you.

I am Scottish.

What's the matter with this awesome nudist beach?

Gino D'Acampo, Fred Sirieix and I

are on a culinary adventure across Europe.

Stand back, please, Fred.

We'll be showcasing the best our cherished homelands have to offer...

I'm a proud Italian. I'm using Mediterranean oysters.

Come here, you English!

You want your freedom?!

..in our trusty home-from-home on wheels.

Oh, Gino! Gordon!

CROCKERY SMASHES

We'll be seeking out the finest ingredients...

Mm!

..the very best vino...

It's paint stripper.

It's nice. It stinks!

..and the most stunning locations.

Wow! Come on, look at this.

Whoooo!

Only the best will do.

You can see who's been doing pasta for a long time.

Oh, God...!

The problem is, we all think we know what's best.

Scotland beats Italy, France hands down.

Gino!

Je t'aime the cheese.

Three countries, three big egos, one small van.

Gino! Gino! Gino!

Oh, Gino!

What could possibly go wrong?

Hey, seriously, I'm halfway through serving a wedding!

Bring back my pants!

How beautiful.

Oh, God, this is so pretty.

Morning, Jimmy!

Jimmy!

What about the women, what do you call them? Jimmy.

Jimmy, too?

So, everybody's called Jimmy here? Yes.

After 1,000 miles of Gino and Fred's awful driving,

our camper van's had it.

So we've left it in France.

Oh, where's the van?

We miss the caravan, yes?

Morning, Jimmy.

Hey, are you good?

Aye, how are you? What are you up to?

Just something with these two knobheads.

Oh, Gordon...!

Now, we are going to cook for one of the most prestigious dinners

you have ever cooked your entire life. Let me tell you why.

Because we're cooking for the head of the Clan Ramsay.

So you're not the head of the Clan Ramsay? Why are you not the head?

But I am, I just... You're not the head?

No, I... So you take your instructions from somebody else?

Hold on. So you're someone else's bitch.

That's who you are.

You are not the head and you mean nothing.

Look, look, look at that beauty!

Oh, wow!

I may not be the clan chief, but I am determined to impress him.

We're going to spend four days

gathering the very best ingredients for his banquet

as we drive from Easdale in the west,

via Edinburgh in the east,

before heading north to his castle in Brechin,

the ancestral home of the Ramsay Clan.

Scotland has some of the finest ingredients anywhere in the world.

Which is?

From the best shellfish to the best whisky to the best beef.

It's going to be mind-blowing. Mind-blowing.

Can I ask you, are you a bit stressed about this dinner?

Because it's just the way you talk about it. I'm not stressed.

I'm anxious to make sure that we absolutely nail it.

First stop on our culinary odyssey is Easdale on the rugged West Coast.

Look at this.

Gentlemen, welcome.

Wow! How beautiful?

That's amazing.

Stretching between us and the Isle of Mull is the Firth of Lorne,

home to some of the best seafood in the world.

We're going over there to find the most amazing scallops.

Where is the boat to take us there?

I'm not going on a small dinghy. Oh!

Amazing!

Gino, we're going to swim.

That's right. No boat.

Are you for real? You're going to swim.

You know it's going to be freezing in the water.

Gordon...

Gordon?

Gordon? Yes?

Are we meeting people on the boat? There's no boat.

Stop complaining.

So just be careful of our giant conger eels.

What?

Is it here where the Loch Ness thing is, the monster?

We're fine for now, but there has been some sightings.

We have to get into the freezing water

with all the monsters trying to eat me down there.

Are you happy, Gino?

No.

Argh!

Oh...!

My God, it's freezing!

Gordon, this is no fun.

Look how clear this is.

This is ridiculous!

What I haven't told them is

that the best waters for finding king scallops

are four more miles away.

Of course we're going to need a boat.

Thank you. Let's go.

We're heading to where the Firth of Lorne meets Loch Spelve.

Here, nutrient-rich Atlantic waters meet strong tides

to create the perfect feeding grounds for king scallops.

Your name is Jimmy, right? Guy.

Nobody's called Jimmy in Scotland.

You said to me everybody's called Jimmy.

Captain Guy Grieve has been hand-diving scallops

for the last ten years.

I'm hoping he can deliver some beauties for the Clan Ramsay feast.

How do you know where to dive?

So, the scallops feed on plankton.

And the faster the currents, the faster that sushi belt is going,

so the bigger the scallops.

So, for us, as scallop divers,

you're trying to find places

where the water just goes like a bat out of hell. Wow.

When the sea's this calm on the surface,

it's hard to believe it's so dangerous below.

Good luck.

I'm going to have to leave this one to the experts.

Wow, he's by himself down there.

The hazards of the job explain why

hand-dived scallops are three times more expensive than dredged ones.

What makes Guy's job even trickier is that, unlike mussels and clams,

scallops can swim.

It's like a little Aladdin's cave.

With Guy doing the hard graft, the least I can do is make lunch.

First, I need some ingredients from the ship's galley.

Samphire, sea asparagus.

Beautiful. Mm!

Hey, wow.

Mm...

All right.

Wow...

Well done, good job. Look at that.

They are incredible.

That's amazing.

That is unreal. Look at the size of this.

Watch this...

Get inside.

Oh, wow! Did you see that?

Oh, my God, the best!

Come here!

You just shut him down like a bitch.

He's a much better scallop opener than you are.

He's a professional diver and I'm a professional chef.

Scottish king scallops can grow up to 20cm wide

and are renowned worldwide not just for their size

but also for their sweetness.

I want to seal these first.

The secret behind any scallop, Guy, as you know,

is never, ever to wash them, right?

Once they've got their colour... They're not cooked yet.

I'm going to finish them back in the sauce. Caramelise the shallots.

Shallots. Shallots in.

OK.

Are you going to deglaze it with the whisky, Gordon? Exactly that.

Take some of the samphire.

It's going to give a little bit of texture in there.

So, samphire in.

Whisky, please, Gino. Thank you.

And stand back, please, Fred.

Well, he hasn't got any hair.

Wow.

Burn off the alcohol.

God, that whisky is so beautiful.

And then, literally, finish cooking the scallops.

Good food is simple food.

You don't need a lot of equipment, you don't need a lot of ingredients.

Minimum effort, maximum satisfaction.

Is it the recipe you're going to do, Gordon?

I'd like to involve a few more ingredients locally.

You dive for them, I cook them. Thank you.

Gino... Thank you, Chef.

Bon appetit.

How sweet are those scallops?

The scallop does all the talking, doesn't it?

The scallops were beautiful. I give it to Gordon,

such a simple dish, well-balanced, perfect.

It's a pleasure to be with you guys on this boat.

And, Gordon, thank you.

No Scottish gathering would be complete without whisky.

15 miles across the Firth of Lorne is the town of Oban,

home to one of Scotland's oldest and smallest distilleries.

This incredible distillery produces a million bottles of whisky a year.

Any reason why we're running?

Callum, how are you?

Not bad. How's yourself? Good to see you.

Manager Callum is going to help us choose a single malt

to impress the clan.

What's so special about this one? This is the Oban 14-year-old.

It's 14 years matured in a bourbon cask.

So you get a real sweet taste.

You should get some nice creaminess on the nose as well.

Did you just down that?

You're meant to savour it, Gino. Come on.

Try smelling it first and then try a wee taste on the tip of the tongue

rather than going straight down the neck. Oh, salute!

You think you're like John Wayne or something!

It's not Ribena. What are you doing?

I can drink a glass of this, no problem whatsoever.

From your point of view, which one's best for me?

I have a big feast coming up.

Certainly, the 14-year-old is much more accessible

to a wider range of audiences.

I'd also like, and, please, don't get upset,

but I'd like to involve some of that across the cooking. Absolutely.

I think it really complements scallops and seafood anyway.

So, that's fantastic. I drink to that.

Get some water in you. This is special water, right?

Yeah, special water. Yeah.

Slowly...

Shit. What is that?

That is our Oban new-made whisky.

So that is the whisky we make straight from our distillery here.

And what percentage is that alcohol? It's about 69.3%.

Are you OK?

I couldn't breathe any more.

I thought, "That's the end of it.

I'm going to die here in Scotland in a whisky distillery."

Actually, that's a cool way to die.

Thinking about it, that's the way I want to die.

What I don't understand,

why can we not get a bottle like every other person?

Listen, we need this.

With Scotch featuring on the banquet menu as well as at the bar,

we're going to need a cask or firkin.

Not too fast!

Now the only problem is how to transport the firkin thing.

There is, like, a little hill there. Yes.

It will automatically stop.

Watch out, watch out, watch out. Trust me.

Er, no...

It's going to break! No, come on!

Guys...

It cost a fortune.

Oh, my head.

Did you have a good sleep?

Oh, my God...

The next day, Gino can catch up on some shut-eye.

We've a long drive ahead of us.

It's over 130 miles east to Scotland's capital city Edinburgh.

You know that there are more ginger people here in Scotland

than anywhere in the world.

Are you ginger? Do you dye your hair?

Are you ginger underneath? You dye your hair?

Oh, hold on. You must do.

My pubes are ginger.

Let's see. Oh, my God, so then you are a ginger!

I'm Scottish. So why don't you embrace the gingerness?

Some of the most attractive men in the world are ginger.

Ed Sheeran.

Our youngest daughter Matilda absolutely loves him.

OK, he's a good-looking guy.

Would you get laid if you weren't a chef?

Of course I would! Why? You're tiny.

That doesn't matter. I'll go with the tiny people.

FRED LAUGHS THROUGH HIS NOSE

Come on, what's wrong with him?

If I want to impress the Ramsay Clan chief,

I'm going to have to celebrate my roots, not hide them.

This is the place. Look at it.

So, we've come to the most exclusive tailors in town.

How does a clan choose their tartan?

How do they choose their colour?

It's from where you're from in Scotland. Really?

Yes. So you're a Glasgorian.

No, Glaswegian.

OK, which one is your Glashweshan colour?

Are you...? Glashweshan?

Have you been on the limoncello again? No, no.

Good afternoon, Mr Ramsay.

Welcome to Kinloch Anderson. Good to see you.

I'll get my fitting done first.

And then you guys will follow suit. See you in a minute.

300 years ago, the English, terrified of the warlike clans,

tried to ban kilts.

But, thankfully, they could never take our freedom.

Are you keeping your pants on? No.

I'm going to be a true Scot.

The tradition of going without underwear

started in the Scottish Army.

In battle, it was a whole lot quicker to relieve yourself

without buttons or pants.

Hey, close the door. Oh, my God!

Close the door. What the hell are you doing?

Close the door! It looks like you're having a poo.

Close the fucking door!

Oh, hurry up.

That was not right. I like this one.

The hairy one.

Look, look, look, this is like a beaver.

I'm going to call it Justin Beaver.

Gordon!

Guys, can you behave yourselves?

"How are you doing? Are you all right?"

Stop messing around. "Are you all right?"

I'm going to so buy this.

There we are. Wow.

You look awesome. Class, right?

Yeah, no, you look good. Seriously.

That is good.

There's so much pride in putting that thing on

and standing up with your family clan and your colours.

That looks spot on.

You look like a king or something.

And he's not even the chief.

So, the Ramsay Clan was descended from Normandy.

He's French! Is that certain? That's certain.

See, there we go. The brother from another mother.

What an amazing outfit the kilt is.

When I saw Gordon coming out, I was like, "Wow!"

Wow! What do you think?

Incredible.

Fred, how do you feel? I feel like the king.

The king of the hill.

Do you think we are going to look the part for your party?

You both look incredible.

Gentlemen, thank you. Let's go.

I tell you what, this is going to look the part.

You look like Mussolini.

I've got a talking beaver.

"Are you all right? Are you all right?"

RHYTHMIC MUSIC PLAYS

Can I just say, you two looked amazing back in that kilt shop?

You know, it's one of those things, you put it on

and I feel like a superhero.

I've got powers now. I've got Scottish power.

Gino, Fred and I are on a road trip across Scotland.

We're sourcing ingredients for a banquet

I've been asked to cook for the head of Clan Ramsay.

Now we're headed north from Edinburgh

to the Kingdom of Fife and the historic town of Ceres.

That sign over there, look. Highland Games.

I mean, we are lucky they're on this week.

Today is the 700th Ceres Games

and a chance for me to get my own back on my foreign friends

for beating me in Italy and France.

What do you say we go for a little competition? No way.

That's going to be full of Scottish men, they're three times my size.

I'd love to do it.

Can I consult my beaver? What do you think?

"All right, then." He said, "All right."

OK, good. We're in, guys. We are in.

We are in!

Highland Games rules state that anyone dressed in a kilt can enter.

You must be getting energised, excited. I'm shitting myself.

Oh, stop it, come on. You're such a wuss.

Here, the smallest compete against the biggest

on a level playing field.

So Gino has no excuse.

One of the biggest is 19-stone Sinclair Patience,

a world amateur champion in the heavy events.

That's not a human being.

Morning. How are you? Pleased to meet you.

Sinclair. Good to see you, too. Are you good? Yeah, very good.

How are you doing? Fred.

Now, I was trying to explain to the guys how historic these games are.

Yeah, absolutely.

So, the Ceres Highland Games are one of the oldest in the country.

And traditionally, the heavy events are a test of strength for clansmen.

So, the clan chiefs would get together

and test the strength of their clans.

We don't stand a chance against Patience and the pros,

but that won't stop us competing amongst ourselves.

Let's have a little bet. So, what do you propose?

So, whoever wins, OK, gets to take the rest of the afternoon off

and participate in the bar, etc.

And whoever loses, has to cook lunch for the heavyweights.

The loser will have to knock up something pretty substantial.

These heavyweights eat 12,000 calories a day.

So, the winner, relax. Yeah.

So that's not going to be me, is it?

That's going to be me. No, no, be positive.

First event is the stone put.

A bit like the shot put.

We have to throw a nine-kilo stone as far as we can

without crossing the wooden block.

We are going to get mullered. No shit.

You just realise now?

I can see that people here, they take it very seriously.

So I'm trying not to take the piss.

But we're talking about huge men throwing a ball.

Sorry, mate, sorry. I'm sorry. It's OK.

I'm the heavyweight judge for today.

First of all, your competitor numbers.

Sinclair, you're number one.

Gino. Welcome, Gino, from Italy. You're number eight.

Can I change my number? No, you can't.

Fred? I'm here.

You're number nine... Perfect. ..representing France.

Gordon, number ten, representing Scotland.

Good luck, guys. Thank you.

All I want is to beat Gordon. That's all I want to do.

Lucas Wenta, from East Kilbride, is the event record holder.

That's the world champion? He hasn't been beaten in eight years.

Look at the size of him.

53 foot, 11 inches.

That's the length of two London buses.

Well done.

The first of us to throw is Gino.

Gino! Come on, Gino, you've got this! Come on!

Nine foot, four inches. The length of two Vespers.

I'm not stepping on them.

Oh, he's going to chalk as well.

It's Fred who's my real competition.

He's so competitive, that guy.

Be careful!

Oh, you're joking!

No, I did it on purpose!

This is a shambles! You're out!

I stopped! You French cheat, out!

This is not right!

Fred needs to take it on the chin.

He won in France.

He's in my home country and I'm going to kick that French arse.

This is a joke.

Hey, come on!

I'm sorry, madam.

Oh, yeah!

Mine's not going to win any prizes, but at least I'm still in.

You're disqualify, that's it. I want to appeal.

Next up is the sheaf throw.

Wow. Oh, my God, that's taking the piss.

Come on, Gino.

Some of these man mountains can clear 25 feet.

Watch out, Freddie! Watch out!

Our Italian half pint is going for something more modest.

I'm just getting my measurement.

Whoa...!

What are you doing? Disqualified.

What are you doing?

I'm not doing this any more. Did I get someone?

Let me do what I do best. Let me go and cook.

Gino's won the wooden spoon.

But Fred and I battle on.

Go, Fred!

CHEERING

Well done!

Very good.

CHEERING

Oh, Fredo!

That was way too easy. It's time to raise the bar.

Come on, Fredo.

Bend the knees.

Oh, fuck! Oh, useless.

Oh, damn. We're out.

A tie in the sheaf throw means Scotland beats France over all.

I didn't know you were such a bad loser. I'm not a bad loser.

You got disqualified. On a technicality.

Oh, my God. Anyway...

Cheers.

Here you go. Welcome back.

Look at what I've done.

Look what I've done. Fantastic.

That was quick.

Looks like the slippery Italian's pulled another fast one.

Done with my own twists. They look amazing.

This is fettuccine a la Bolognese pie.

So, fettuccine a la Bolognese with Parmesan cheese coming.

10,000 calories per pie.

Look at that beauty.

How hungry are you? Very hungry.

Two champions today. Oh, two champions? All right.

Guys, what a wonderful experience.

Thanks for coming. Cheers, guys.

Gino may not have made it, but the heavyweights don't seem to mind...

..and we can get back on the road.

Where are we going now? We're on the way to a farm

to meet a couple of young, dynamic farmers

that are producing some of the best beef

anywhere in the country.

So the meat, honestly, is incredible.

Right, here we are. This is the place.

Ardross Farm on the Fife coast

has 350 acres of pasture right by the sea.

The herd of shorthorn cows is a slow-growing breed

that produces meat with great marbling and strong flavour.

When you see something as beautiful as that cow, you just shout,

"You we beauty!" You wee beauty.

You wee beauty.

Hey, you wee beauty.

You wee beauty.

Hello!

Is it wise to wear red with the cows?

I think you're safe enough. What a beautiful spot.

Thank you. We're very proud of it.

Sisters Laura and Claire Pollock may be young

but they're seventh-generation farmers

who know how to raise their livestock the traditional way.

They look beautiful. I mean, look how close they are to the ocean.

And that's what makes the flavour so special,

the sea and the grass, right? So our beef is 100% grass fed.

It's lower in saturated fats, it's got higher omega-3

and it's a lot healthier for you.

They need to go into the other field just now.

So do you guys want to give us a hand to move them? We need to run.

Go faster.

Gino, go on the outside.

Whoo-hoo!

Go on the outside!

This way!

Fred!

That's it! I've done it by myself.

You've forgotten some, though.

I'm covered in cow shit!

Come here, you English!

You want your freedom?!

Abandon him, abandon him. Let's go.

The Frenchman seems to have come down

with a nasty case of mad cow disease.

Poor cows, they think he's going to want to fuck them.

But what I'm here for is the farm's famous dry-aged beef.

Sean is the butcher responsible for preparing all the farm's meat.

All of our animals are bred on the farm.

They are completely high health.

There's no antibiotics in them at all.

They're 100% grass fed and that just makes the beef absolutely amazing.

So, from the field to the table? That's it.

We do the whole process, yeah.

The beef is hung for 21 days before butchering.

It allows the meat to relax and any water to evaporate,

adding a real intensity to the flavour.

That fillet will be perfect for the feast. Shall we get it out?

The big question, can you get it out? We'll find out.

Look at the length of that one. Oh, my lord. How beautiful.

So, this is your masterpiece? Yeah, exactly. The main event. Look at it.

Maybe do a tournedos, beautiful wild mushrooms, local girolles,

and then do something exciting with a whisky sauce.

Look at that. This is magnificent.

Trimmed up. How's that for you?

I'll trim that when we get to the castle. Thank you.

Claire's provided one more ingredient for the Ramsay banquet.

One that's even more Scottish than Scotch beef.

Everything is under control. I'll cook this.

And you've got some haggis as well, yes? Delicious haggis.

Now you're turning into proper Scots.

What am I going to do with these things?

You are going to learn how to cook haggis properly.

What? I've never cooked with these things. You'll learn.

Is it me, or do they look like huge testicles?

Haggis. Come on... We're going to bond with a haggis now?

Just smell that. Oh!

What's in that?

Everything you can think of inside a sheep.

Liver, heart, lung...

You just crumble it? Crumble it.

Take some. We'll do it together.

Haggis also contains oats, suet, onion and seasoning.

It's the Scottish equivalent of beans on toast.

Did you have that when you were young? Breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Oxtail, faggots, haggis, honestly.

Really? Three times a day?

This is why you are fucked up.

I'm telling you right now.

Can we put a little bit of rocket leaves on top? A bit of peppery...?

I'm not too sure about putting rocket on there.

Why do you have to bring Italians into it? Teamwork.

Well, I'll go with it. Yes, OK. Fine. OK.

Finally! Finally you get what teamwork means.

It's important to bond now because on Sunday, at the feast,

I'm going to teach you how to make the most perfect ravioli.

So, you're going to teach me how to make pasta?

Yes. But how?

I've been doing that for over 30 years.

Not my way. You've got a different way to make pasta?

I've got a great way of making pasta. It's my signature dish.

It's like me teaching you how to make fish and chips.

It's going to look a bit weird, isn't it?

The bread's been toasted. Look at that. I mean...

Oh... Look.

Oh, look at these rocket leaves, how they work beautifully.

This is such a posh haggis. Thank you.

Cheers.

Mm!

Mm!

Mm!

Oh, my God, on toasted bread with my rocket salad on top

with the balsamic vinegar, it worked beautifully.

I loved it.

Where are we staying tonight? Staying?

Yeah. Which hotel are we going?

We don't want to go to the hotel now. Look, this close to the beach.

I thought we'd bed down here for the night.

In the back of the car? Three of us?

I'll take the front, you two take the back.

I swear to you, man, this is the worst idea you've had so far.

Come on, guys, just get to sleep, please.

But you gave me all those haggis.

You know what's happened to my digestive system?

Me too. I'm feeling a bit bloated.

Really, really, really bloated.

I don't know if I farted or just shat myself.

LAUGHTER

GINO FARTS

Oh, you...!

It stinks of haggis and rocket!

This is going to be the finest castle you've ever visited.

So, watch your P's and Q's. Watch your what?

P's and Q's. Peas?

Watch your language.

Gino, Fred and I have driven 300 miles across Scotland

from west to east

and then north to the small town of Brechin

where we've finally reached Brechin Castle,

the ancestral seat of my Scottish kin, Clan Ramsay.

Let me get all the f-words out. Fuck, shit, bollocks, fuck, shit.

What's wrong with you? Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

Gino! What are you doing?

I'm just taking all the swear words.

Fuck, shit, fuck, shit, bollocks, fuck, shit, bollocks.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, shit, bollocks.

Are we done? I'm done.

Tonight, we're throwing a banquet for the Chieftain.

Where the hell are we going? Why do we have to always go off-road?

But there's one dish on my menu I still need ingredients for.

Have you been fly fishing before? Never.

The art is in the wrist.

Oh, Gino's good at that.

Now, guys, come on.

I learnt to fly fish at the age of six with my father on the River Tay.

And if we don't catch nothing?

Trust me, I will not let you down in my own country.

My God...

Look at that, huh?

How nice is this?

Whoa, slowly!

No! Stop! Don't go in the water!

Are you for real now? My God, Gordon.

You love that.

So are we going down the river in the car? Relax.

Yeah, relax!

Relax. CAR CONTROLS BEEP

Everything is beeping now. Everything is beeping.

Flipping heck, seriously...

Look at that, the water's coming out.

Fishing rights in Scotland belong to the local landowner.

This stretch of river is on the Brechin Castle Estate,

so the Chief has given us his blessing to fish for salmon.

It's like I've got a nappy.

Bring the rod up to 12 o'clock, count, and then back out.

12, 2 o'clock.

Up and out.

And just gently pull the fly through the water.

Like that?

Yeah, and keep your eyes open for the fish rising to the top

to pick up the fly.

And then again,

back out...

..and land the fly on top.

This is my idea of heaven.

The fresh air, the sound of the river...

Peace at last.

Gordon...

Gordon... Gordon!

Gino... I'm in the tree.

Oh, no!

One of the finest rivers in Scotland...

This is a waste of time.

We could have been in a bar having a nice cocktail.

We could have had a coffee.

Hey, can you keep your voice down?

My beaver is wet, I'm done.

Come on! No, no, this is stupid.

We're never going to catch anything.

Gordon, maybe he has a point.

It takes time, Fred.

Come on, Gordon. Don't be stubborn.

Yet again, Signor Minimum Effort has quit when we've barely begun.

So it's time for Plan B.

Did you call your fishmonger? Yes, I did. Yes, I did.

OK, fine. Here he is.

Are you good?

Did you get the langoustine and the salmon? Oh, beautiful.

Callum, good to see you, bud.

Thanks for rescuing us.

Oh, this is going to stink of fish!

Now that we've got enough food and drink to feed an army of Ramsays,

it's time to drive to the castle and meet the big man himself.

Wow, look at that!

Parts of this castle date back to the early 13th century.

This is huge.

My God. Look at that.

I'm scared. Best behaviour.

Don't let me down. I promise.

Of course we won't let you done, this is your family.

Waiting for us, our clan chief James Ramsay,

the 17th Earl Dalhousie and his wife Lady Marilyn.

Lovely, you're here. You found us all right?

The Earl's ancestor William Ramsay

fought with Robert the Bruce at the Battle of Bannockburn.

Are you adopting him now? How does it work? We'll see.

We'll see how it goes. Can we leave him behind?

Trouble is, if you're called Ramsay, you can't sack them from your clan.

Are you stuck with him?

Well, good luck!

Because we've been stuck with him for the last three weeks

and he is a nightmare.

I've cooked for some amazing banquets,

but this one has to be one of the most personal.

And I want to give them a banquet to remember.

These are portraits of all the Kings and Queens of Scotland.

It's inspiring.

There is Clan Ramsay history in every room.

This is the dining room, Fred. Oh, my God, it's beautiful.

The grand dining room

is where the Earl's 16 guests are to be served four courses

of the best Scottish food I can create.

Think about everything we've done all week to get to this point, OK?

Please, don't fuck this up.

Tonight has to be perfect.

That means I need to be clear who's in charge around here.

Before we sit down...

"Ladies and gentlemen, Gordon and his sous-chef Gino are cooking..."

Without the sous-chef. "Gordon and Gino are cooking."

Fucking hell...

"Gordon and his chef de partie Gino are cooking."

We're recommending that the beef is medium rare.

I have every faith in Fred's front-of-house skills.

..and exit through this.

He's maitre d'ed in the finest restaurants.

Just a couple of points, please.

If you don't mind, would you mind to move the cutlery?

If we could move them apart there by about an inch,

an inch and a half, like so.

Just I want to make sure they are all equidistant with each other.

It's a big deal for Gordon. He's like a little boy.

He wants to impress you and he wants to make it perfect.

Oh, well, he will, I'm sure.

Are you OK opening these, yeah? Oh, yes.

Not as fast as the guy did, yeah?

Last time I looked, there was only one Michelin-starred chef

in this kitchen.

For once, Gino needs to do as he's told.

The idea is to get the fucking scallops out. Don't do this to me.

It will never happen again.

Gino's going to be in for a shock when he sees the way I cook.

I'm about finesse. Gino's about slapdash, thank you, ma'am.

And if he's smart, he'll keep his mouth shut

and come out of this dinner a much better chef.

Gino, you're gashing them all.

That's not mine. Hold on.

Are you saying it's mine? But what is it doing in your hands?

I've opened more scallops than you've drank shots of limoncello.

That is not me. There's another broken one. Where is the broken one?

This mussel here. No.

OK. Are you OK?

Yes. Are you sure?

Yes. Yeah?

Because you're making me nervous. Yes, Chef. Yes?

Me, cooking with Gordon in the kitchen,

is going to put so much stress on me.

But what Gordon doesn't understand is that we are there to support him.

So, chill out.

Oh, fucking hell! That is still the same one.

This is not the same one! You're picking the same fucking scallop!

It's not the same one!

Now you're going through the bin just to prove a point!

Are you serious? It's here!

Oh, God...!

Jesus!

Right, girls, I'm going to show you our cocktails

that we're going to do for the aperitif.

So, it's my take on a classic champagne cocktail.

Along with the champagne, Grand Marnier and Drambuie,

Fred's adding whisky to his classic cocktail

to give it a Scottish twist.

Would you like to try a Scottish champagne cocktail?

This is a special one? Yes.

Just for you and your guests.

Mm, that's delicious. I'll be on the floor after this.

Well...

Now, clingfilm. Do you see it anywhere?

What is this thing here? That's a blender.

How are you making your pasta? By hand, like pasta is supposed...

If my grandmother see you doing this...

So, in the old days, when people didn't have a blender,

how did they make pasta?

Pasta is over 2,500 years old.

And in the modern day, you make it a little bit faster.

I just think it's not the traditional way to do it.

Sorry, grandma. He doesn't really mean it.

I've mastered the art of making great pasta.

I got trained by the best chefs in Italy. I've perfected my pasta.

Gino got trained in a panini shop down the Edgware Road.

Shit.

What are you doing?

GINO LAUGHS

GINO CONTINUES LAUGHING

Sorry, Chef.

Before... OK, OK.

So, you know how to work it, yeah?

Oh, man! I'm just checking.

This year, Restaurant Gordon Ramsay celebrates 20 years in the making.

Congratulations.

And this recipe has been on there since day one.

And yet you can't fucking make a pasta dough.

Fuck you!

Watch, please.

Up and over and into the hand it goes.

Push out all the air. Push, push, push.

And you close that up. And that's the secret of a hand-made ravioli.

I'll show you how to make ravioli in one go.

The way you do it, you leave the top part open.

The bottom part is when you very nicely squeeze

and you push all at the end.

So you just make them like a conveyor belt.

And I'm rolling each individual disc by hand.

Yeah, but you get the same result.

Jesus, are they really going to have to be all exactly the same?

Why are you doing this to me? I'm not doing this to you.

OK, I'll do them one by one.

I just want 16 perfectly-cooked ravioli. OK.

Not on a conveyor belt. We're going to be here all day,

but we're going to make them one at a time.

We're at Brechin Castle in Scotland,

home to Earl Dalhousie, Chieftain of the Ramsay Clan.

This is for you, Scottish champagne cocktail. Enjoy.

The Earl has asked me to prepare a banquet for 16 special guests.

Oh, my God, you're looking beautiful.

They include Lords and Ladies and friends of the Clan.

Fred's handling the front of house,

while I'm doing my best to bring my sous-chef into line.

This is crazy.

It's called finesse. We need a bit of finesse.

OK. No?

Don't you think? Absolutely.

Ladies and gentlemen, dinner is served.

Among the guests are some of the food producers we've met.

They're waiting to see if Gino and I

can do justice to their stunning ingredients.

Gordon? Yes?

Sa march.

Please, let's go. Five minutes, yes?

Where's the scallops, please?

Wait here in line.

When the Chef calls,

we are just going to take these scallops to the table.

We don't start cooking the scallops yet.

A touch more tarragon over there.

Taste it, please.

Yeah, two seconds, please.

I haven't roasted the scallops yet. Take two minutes.

If I say five minutes, Fred, it means a generous five minutes, Fred.

What, you mean six minutes, then?

No, Fred, piss off, will you?

I want it to taste like a garden.

Where the garden meets the sea, right?

OK, big man, we go with the scallops together, yes?

Right, it's already five minutes. Yeah, OK.

Come back in two, please. Fred, don't start giving that shit now.

Do you want me to go with ten minutes before, then?

Don't start winding me up now. I just want to do a good job.

Gino, 12 o'clock with the scallops. In and we bake.

Quick, quick, quick. Wine, water. Come on.

That's the problem when the food is late,

you've got to keep on serving the guests with wine.

And if we serve them too much wine, they're going to be drunk.

Scallops out. Yeah? Yeah, out.

Out.

Let's go.

So, again, go to the centre, look.

Look, scallop there. The round part at the top of the shell.

Service, please.

Do it like that and come back straightaway, please.

And what you have here is the hand-dived scallop from Guy.

Some beautiful spring garden vegetables,

a beurre blanc and some delicious haggis.

Enjoy.

Can you whack up the water, please?

Next up, the ravioli.

And the pasta debate rumbles on...

Do you know which one is mine or not?

Mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine. Look at the way they are delivered.

Yeah, so a little burst there, there and there.

And that one's flat on the bottom and round on top.

It doesn't matter. It does matter for me.

I think it's delicious.

You really can't define every single ingredient because it's so subtle.

He's done a great job.

He knows what he's doing. Clearly.

Service, please. Where's the waiter, please? They're here.

All right...

Ladies and gentlemen,

you have a beautiful home-made ravioli of langoustine

with wild salmon and a lovely crustacea vinaigrette.

Enjoy.

This is going to take eight to ten minutes, OK? No rush.

The pasta was delicious. A lovely Italian dish with a Scottish twist.

Stunning. I really enjoyed it.

The centrepiece of our Scottish feast

is the fillet of dry-aged beef.

15, look at me, medium rare.

Medium? Yeah, medium rare.

Medium. Firmer here.

Medium. And then jaw...

Well done. Exactly that.

And then when it's super well done. Yeah, there. Exactly, yeah.

It's such an expensive cut that, to do it justice,

we mustn't overcook it. Wow!

The final touch is to flambe the fillets in our Oban whisky.

Watch it, watch it.

We'll burn off the alcohol. Wait, wait, wait.

Wait, wait.

Beautiful.

Beautiful beef.

Let's go. Service, please.

Go, please. Here we go.

I think we worked quite well together, as Head Chef, sous-chef.

And I think Gino understood his place.

I think Gino will take a lot away from this.

Well done.

Fucking hell.

How's the artichoke? Yeah, really good.

Fantastic. I'm so enjoying it.

As soon as dessert and digestives are served,

we're finally done in the kitchen and I can meet my fellow Ramsays.

Hey, buonasera!

APPLAUSE

Thank you.

Well, you two have been working in the kitchen hard all day.

The food was just to die for.

I was born in a council house in Scotland.

We used to visit castles like this.

So, to be toasted in amongst that kind of, you know, ceremony

was quite humbling.

On behalf of Gino, Fred and myself, I'd like to say a big thank you

for making Fred and Gino feel incredibly Scottish.

Cheers. Best wishes. Thank you.

To Scotland!

I know that sometimes we don't agree on everything.

But when it comes to work, we want to do the best

and we want to deliver. And that's what we did.

I've just finished four courses with Gordon Ramsay in a kitchen.

How I survived, I don't know.

But I'm here and ready to party.

SCOTTISH DANCE MUSIC

Hey!

There's only one thing left to do

and that is to get officially welcomed into the clan.

Hey!

This is really to thank Fred, Gino and our clan member Gordon.

Thank you.

Thank you very much.

Ladies and gentlemen, what an amazing week we've had.

Scotland beats Italy, France, hands down.

CHEERING

A Scotsman, Frenchman, an Italian man

together for three weeks.

It sounds like a disaster.

But, by and large, it's been a recipe for success.

Hey!

The journey has been incredible.

I don't want Gordon to hear this...

..but I love Scotland.

Until the next time, my friends...

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the fun bus.

# I can walk 100 miles

# And I can...

# Walk 100 more

# Just to be the man Who walked 1,000 miles

# To fall down at your door

# La, la, la, la-la, laaaa

# La, la, la, la-la, laaaa... #