Original subtitles

FARTING NOISE

GORDON: Gino?

Yeah? Did I just hear you fart?

Mate, I'm nervous.

I don't like helicopters. It gives me pressure on the belly.

Trust me. Just clench your buttocks and squeeze, OK?

Up, up and away!

FRED: I don't like the smell of Gino in the morning.

GINO: Whoa!

GORDON: Look at that!

Incredible. Absolutely incredible.

Jesus...

This guy!

He's like a farting machine.

Why is it that I'm stuck with him and he's got flatulence?

GORDON: Because France is closer to Italy than Italy is to England.

FRED: Are you scared, Gino?

Oh, my God. Gino is going to shit himself!

GORDON: No, I think he has.

THEY LAUGH

GINO: We've got a convoy!

GORDON: Gino D'Acampo, Fred Sirieix and I

are on a brand-new culinary adventure...

THEY GAG AND COUGH

..across Mexico and the US of A.

It looks like you.

HORNS BLARE Stop the car!

We're in search of the most memorable ingredients...

I love testicles. My dad cooked them all the time.

..amazing vino... Slow down, Gino!

..and spectacular views.

WOLF WHISTLE

I want to show them the food here is bigger, bolder and better.

He's on fire!

The trouble is...

..Gino and Fred are stuck in their old Euro ways.

Reminds me of a cassoulet. Very French.

Where I come from, we don't do that. Well, this is America, honey.

Three amigos...

I've got some in my eyes!

..three big egos...

Gino...! How do we get out of here now?

..back on the road together again.

I'm not being party to this!

Holy shit!

GORDON: Road trip across America...

We're gonna end up in jail!

GORDON: Look at this...

Absolutely beautiful!

GINO: Whoa!

GORDON: Look at that rock formation. Oh, my God!

My wingmen and I are in Nevada,

flying over one of the greatest natural wonders of the world.

You know, guys, it makes me feel very emotional

to see the Grand Canyon because, as a boy,

I used to watch Western movies with my dad

and it was always a fantasy of him to come here.

Really? Oh, my God.

GORDON: We're exploring the best of the American Wild West.

The first European settlers, when they came here,

they wouldn't have been able to grow anything.

It would be down to the hunting.

You know, I've been reading about the Colorado River.

There are six species of fish that are indigenous to this area

and you don't find them anywhere else in North America.

How cool is that? It would be nice if I could fish them.

Look at that ridge straight ahead, guys, at 12 o'clock.

how straight that is.

Oh, my God, incredible. I've never seen anything like it.

GORDON: 70 million years old, this landmark is 277 miles long,

up to 18 miles wide and one mile deep.

A remarkable spectacle...

..lost on Gino.

This is bollocks. I don't like helicopters.

GINO BREATHES DEEPLY

Keep breathing. Gino's breathing, it's like he's giving birth.

Oh, my God.

Oh...

Do you want the bag, Gino? Are you going to be sick?

Oh, Gino's going to vomit.

Oh, my God, Gino, please, take this...

Oh, oh...!

GINO THROWS UP Oh, my God!

Gordon, can we swap, please?

We are not swapping seats in a fricking helicopter.

FRED: Get me out of here. This is out of order.

GORDON: Oh, for God's sake!

Thanks, God.

Thank you, God. Thank you.

Come on, hurry up, hurry up! Beautiful, thank you.

Thank you, Captain.

Come on, let's go.

This is unbelievable.

This car makes me dizzy, Gordon, cos it just keeps swaying.

Well, it's the hydraulics.

It's like being on a boat. You go left and right, left and right.

Please, do not tell me how to drive, boys.

This is worse than the helicopter.

Guys, it's the hydraulics.

I want to show you guys

that America has some of the best produce in the world.

How can it be America the best food on the planet?

Don't start with stuff like that!

Reunited with our beloved camper, first stop is Willow Beach.

Then it's the bright lights of Las Vegas.

Before heading 600 miles through the Wild West,

across three states, to Los Angeles,

my American home-from-home.

All uncharted territory for Gino and Fred.

But where are we going next?

We're going to a beach in a desert. You're going to love this, OK?

There's the most amazing, wait for it...

..trout.

We're going fishing!

GORDON HONKS THE HORN Oh, no!

Are you serious? Come on!

Having seen the Colorado River from the air,

I can't wait to get my feet wet.

Oh, there we are.

Woohoo!

Argh! Gordon, the car is going to flip!

Gordon, it's not a funfair!

That's if our truck makes it to the access point

of the mighty river at Willow Beach.

Look at this.

This is beautiful.

It's incredible, this little oasis.

You'd never think it was here, would you?

Not right in the middle of the desert, no.

Hello, sir! How's it going?

An amazing spot. What's the chances of catching some trout for dinner?

Pretty good. They've been biting.

And what's the size? How big are they, Andy?

Anywhere from ten inches all the way up to 18 inches.

Wow, that's amazing.

Right out across the way's a good spot, too, right by those bushes.

Straight that away? Right.

Great. One, two, three kayaks, one, two, three of us.

We can go and fish. Let's get the rods out!

# "Gone fishing"

# How do you know?

# Well, there's a sign Upon your door... #

Are you all clear? You take the right, I'll take the left. Yeah.

And try and stay nice and quiet, no?

Do you think I'm going to be singing?

What are you doing there?

This is my spot.

This is where I'm going to be. Unbelievable.

# No more work for me

# Welcome to the club

# On my door I'd hang a sign

# "Gone fishing"

# Instead of just a-wishing... #

Have you felt the water temperature?

Oooh!

Can you believe Gino's copped out? Yeah, of course.

It was always going to happen. He doesn't like to do anything.

We need some fish for dinner, though. Yeah, we will.

Watch and learn.

Fred...

..I've done fishing more than you've served plates.

Fuck!

What's happened?

I've got sweat in my eyes. I can't see a thing.

Oh, my goodness me. Oh, for fuck's sake, the thing has gone down.

Fred! What?

Shh...!

Fishing's about being quiet!

Fucking hell, look at...

I'm not having any luck whatsoever.

Patience, patience.

That's one thing that I don't have.

Nah, this is impossible.

All right, I'll give you some pointers.

I could spend all day and all night here, you know that?

Can I just tell you something really true?

Probably the only time I get to relax any time of the year

is when I'm fishing. Really?

Yeah, honestly. I don't know what it does.

It does something like no other.

It's like meditation, isn't it? You're on the water, you're relaxed.

I think it's freedom.

Did you go fishing a lot when you were a boy? I grew up fishing.

Really?

From the age of five, I caught my first salmon.

But it wasn't legal, it was poaching.

THEY CHUCKLE

So we had to catch and run.

Here, check it out.

Oh, yes...

Look at this one.

Nice!

Beautiful.

You saved my evening. Thank you very much. No problem.

Don't tell anyone. Thanks, buddy. Yeah.

If I can get someone who very kindly can give me a fish

and I don't have to waste two hours of my life fishing,

well, rock and roll, let it be!

Whoo!

Yes...

Er, where are these fucking trout?

Nice.

This must be the grill.

All right.

Not much doing, is there? No.

Shall we? All right, let's go.

Are you ready? Yeah.

Gordon, shall we race? Are you sure?

Yeah, go on. Let's go.

Come on.

Argh!

Fred!

Jesus! Stop!

Stop!

Argh!

FRED LAUGHS

Fucking hell!

Is there...? No!

No, Gordon!

I knew you were going to do that!

Shit! Did you go in?

Yeah!

Like the cowboys in the old days!

We just had a bath in the Colorado River!

Yee-haw!

Look.

Oh, no... Fred, look! 15 minutes.

No, stop it. You caught it?

15 minutes. Stop it.

Look at that. Wow!

Is that really from here? Yeah.

Something smells fishy, is what you're saying.

No, but rainbow, that's good. What do you mean, something smells fishy?

Just the one? Just because you didn't get it.

Look at the size of it!

This is going to be trota con salsa Italian servita con cactus.

Italian trout with cactus? There's no such thing.

Cactus, in an Italian dish? Stop it!

Yes.

My great-grandmother, she used to be half Italian and half Mexican.

Right.

So I know exactly how to cook the cactus. OK.

Pst! What?!

What the hell are you doing up there!

Shit!

The cactus, I'm going to put a bit of olive oil, salt and pepper.

And I'm just going to put in there.

I never cooked in these conditions.

The prickly pear cactus grows wild in these parts.

With a similar taste to an artichoke,

it's been a staple food of the Native Americans

for thousands of years.

Are you OK with that grill down there?

It's a bit high.

Are you struggling to reach it? Yes!

Freddo!

HISSING

What the hell is that?

Does this thing go down?

GORDON AND FRED LAUGH

Fred, you idiot!

Why did you not do that straight away?

Gino! The garlic's burning!

No, it's not. Look, it's perfect.

Don't you have nothing else to do? I'm going up.

Don't you have nothing else to do?

It's like the God of Chefs is watching over you.

He's telling you what to do. He's a pain in the ass.

Ready, steady...

12 minutes to go! ..cook!

Go on, Gino, go! Don't cut yourself, eh?

Or as they say in the News of the World,

"Ready, steady, crook!

FRED AND GORDON LAUGH

You are a bastard.

I want to get a little bit of coating first

so it gets dry and the skin gets nice and crispy.

Three minutes to go!

Gino!

Here we go! Here we go!

Yes, my man! Look at that!

It smells nice, Gino, from here!

More! Put more lemon! Whoa!

He's on fire. He is.

You can come down, I'm done, yeah? We're starving.

Two minutes to go.

Fucking hell.

It might have an Italian caper salsa but, at its heart,

this is great American trout with a quirky cactus twist.

Oh, boy.

Thank you, Gino.

What do you think about the cactus? It's got a little kick of chilli.

I like the kick. It's very good.

And, Gino, can I just say? Gordon couldn't do better

This is delicious, by the way.

Did you catch this trout? And look at me in the eye.

Take your glasses off.

Did you catch this trout? Yes.

FRED LAUGHS He can't lie!

Would I lie to you, Gordon? Yeah, you would, you would.

You caught that trout? Yes!

One hundred percent.

Gino D'Acampo caught or stole the fish.

Fuck knows. I'm not convinced.

We're going to have to sleep here tonight.

Seriously, are there any dangerous animals we should worry about

if we step out of the door? Yeah, of course. Grizzly bears.

Er, mountain lions. Mountain cats.

But you could tackle a wild cat, couldn't you? A man of your size.

Well, maybe not size. But a man of your velocity.

If an animal comes towards me, I would just play the dead man.

They would not attack a dead man, would they?

Being on the Colorado River and cooking,

I'm getting my head around what Gordon says about American produce.

It's just magic.

Why am I sleeping in the small bed?

Erm, because you're a small man.

WILD ANIMAL HOWLS

Did you hear that? Coyote.

Gino, just shut up.

Fred, can you move your elbow? No, you are taking all the room, Gordon.

You just be careful he doesn't spoon you.

THEY CHUCKLE

WILD ANIMAL HOWLS

GINO: You wanted to be a trucker, didn't you?

I just grew up on the M6 going back and forth from England to Scotland,

so I used to sort of stay up throughout the night

driving with my dad and look at these amazing trucks thinking,

"How cool are they?"

Think of the great trucking movies that we grew up with.

Smokey And The Bandit.

No... "Two four, two four, two four."

What would be my call sign?

Fuck Fuck, Over. Fuck Fuck, Over.

You can't swear on the airwaves. No?

I can be the, er...

Lazy Bastard.

THEY ALL LAUGH

"Lazy Bastard, Lazy Bastard, come in, please.

"Are there any Lazy Bastards? I've got another one sat next to me!"

We're in the south-western states and I'm converting these two newbies

to the American way.

After fishing on the Colorado River,

we're travelling 55 miles to Las Vegas,

a crazy city that springs up out of the Mojave Desert.

HORNS BLARE Wait, wait! Gordon, wait!

I didn't know we were going so fast!

You cut them off! You didn't tell me there's 50 fucking bikes there!

You're unbelievable, Gordon! Now they're pissed off.

Look, they're giving me the bird. HORNS BLARE

They're overtaking us now.

They're going to come here and they're going to kick our ass.

Hey! Oh, he's pissed off... See?

He's pissed... Sorry! Oh, my God.

What's happening?

We're sandwiched in between...

Guys, savour the moment.

We have a convoy!

We've got a convoy!

Whoo!

This is the way to do America!

Whoo!

Viva Las Vegas!

Right, come on, how cool is it going to be here in Las Vegas?

Vegas virgins. Amazing.

I'm so excited, Gordon. It's very colourful.

This is off the scale here, isn't it, Gordon? It's beautiful.

It's hard to believe it's stuck in the middle of a desert.

Gordon, look! Over there on the billboard!

There, Wolverine. Oh, Jesus...

That's another board there, Gordon Ramsay. Where?

On the right-hand side, black. Oh, shit, yeah.

There you go again. It's quite a big sign, isn't it?

Quite a big sign?

There is marketing and there is taking the mick.

You are on the left.

You are here. And you are on the right.

So, left, here and right. Left, here...

If someone doesn't like you, by any chance,

it's going to be their worst nightmare.

I've made the famous strip in Las Vegas my HQ in America,

as it's become a genuine culinary hot spot.

One of the most competitive cities anywhere in the world

for cuisine right now is Las Vegas.

It's at the cutting edge of cuisine.

It can't be the cutting edge of cuisine.

I mean, the French are the cutting edge of cuisine, seriously.

They were 20 years ago. They sat on their laurels.

Are you hungry? Yes, I'm starving.

Vegas has the greatest collection of top chefs anywhere on earth.

Even the humble burger has been elevated to an art form.

I want to show you a burger of absolute class.

A burger that's going to blow your minds. OK.

A burger that's going to cost $777.

No, that's going to blow my wallet, not my mind.

Wait until you taste it.

The burger is a religion here.

The average American munches three a week.

That's an incredible 23 billion burgers a year.

Hello! Hey, how are you?

Table for three, please. Thank you.

The Bally Hotel Brasserie serves the most ostentatious on the planet.

Are we ready to try this? Yes, please. Thank you.

Have you noticed that they're not serving prosecco?

No? No, they're serving champagne.

Whoa, I love that sound!

Why do you have this kind of champagne with a burger?

It's Vegas, baby!

This is the culture. It's a sacrilege.

So, you know what? This, with a burger,

is like when you see a fat lady wearing thongs.

Nothing wrong with that, it's still OK.

Stop. I'm going to the kitchen, give me two minutes.

I want to find out exactly what goes in

to one of the most expensive burgers in the world.

Salut. Cheers to that.

This is a chuck blend with ribeye cap. My favourite cut.

How many have you sold this year so far? 50 this year.

50 already? So that's quite a gig, that, right? Yeah.

Head chef Carl sources his beef from an American Wagyu breed,

prized for being well-marbled with a rich flavour.

What cheese is that on top? This is a nice American goat's cheese.

One slice or two slices of foie gras? Two, please.

Two. My God...

One person eats all this? Oh, yeah.

Start off with pancetta at the base? Yeah.

Man, this is a burger and a half.

Are you slicing the lobster or not?

Oh, yeah. Just twice. Beautiful.

And the foie gras on top of the lobster? Yeah.

Bloody hell.

Then put a little arugula to cut that goat cheese. Right.

And we put 100-year-old balsamic to finish the whole thing.

I mean, that looks insanely decadent.

Doesn't it? I can feel my arteries clogging up now.

That looks incredible.

777... Whoa!

Whoa! Oh, my God, awesome. Come on.

It's a good-looking burger.

Ready?

Come on, guys, look... Oooh, that crunch, that texture.

Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow...

Come on! Oh, look at that!

It's a bit underdone. What's underdone?

What's underdone, man? It's pink, for God's sake!

Here we go. I can't wait to hear what you think. Dig in, guys.

It's dripping! That's the sign of a great burger!

The lobster and the foie gras really comes through. Yes.

Which I was not expecting to go together. Excellent.

It's very difficult with this kind of food,

you know, without a fork and a knife. I mean...

You don't eat a burger with a fork.

You, obviously, are both straight from the cave.

But in France, we are a bit more sophisticated.

Mmm...!

Oh, my God. Hey...

It's all right. It's all right?

No, come on! It's very good.

I just can't compute the price and the taste.

I just can't compute that.

Enjoy. It's Vegas!

I mean, it's disgustingly expensive, but it's bloody delicious.

I like it.

Service, may I have the check, please?

Let's gamble it. Lowest card pays... Oh, come on, again?

Come on, come on, we do lowest card pays. OK?

Fuck's sake...

Gino! I'm going to wash my hands.

Gino!

Oh, my Lord!

Everything in Vegas is excessive.

From space, at night, the Strip is the brightest place on the planet,

lined with some of the world's biggest hotels and casinos.

The most famous of all is Caesars Palace.

Gambling here makes over half a billion dollars a month.

One of the reasons why I've never partaken.

But we can't experience Sin City without sinning a little ourselves.

Oh, yes! Nice! What is that?

Martini. Martini?

A quick word of warning.

The drinks are free. Don't drink too much.

Cheers. No, no, no. Salut.

Guys, this is going to be awesome.

OK... Slowly!

Gino, slow down!

Slowly... Shit!

I mean, I'm not a big gambler,

but I do like the kind of environment, the atmosphere,

so bring it on.

How much do we bet at a time? You can start with a minimum of $25.

Which is... It's this one, the pink one.

Yes, yes. The pink one, gotcha.

$50 on six. OK, you got it.

100 on ten.

We're playing craps, a game of pure chance.

What is the horny bets?

It's all of these numbers here.

I'm lucky when I'm horny.

This one here, this one here. Right there.

Save some money!

Save some money? What's the point in playing?

Don't put all your money on the horny one! Play, you schnorrer!

OK, let's go.

You can win rolling any number...

..except a seven.

Seven. We lost everything, man.

Fresh drink. Service. Where is the lady?

How are you?

You guys look like you need a bit of luck.

Good, good...

I don't understand the game, but I like it.

Come on, let's go! We need a ten, right?

Oooh!

Ten! ALL: Yeah!

ALL: Ooooh...!

Six! We won again! Excellent!

One, two, three...

Blowing on the dice was started by street gamers

to keep them dust-free.

But it's come to mean luck.

And it seemed to be working for us.

Eight! Eight again!

I won! One more of those, please, Fred.

Gino, smile. Oh, yes.

He's like the perfect height. He's too small.

I think she's trying to breast-feed me!

I can't believe I've resisted gambling

for the last 15 years here in Vegas

only to break that duck with Gino and Fred.

Let's get some love on these dice. Fred, let's go.

Ten or a six. ALL: Whoa!

Go on, vai, vai, vai!

Winner, six! Six!

I'm $1,000.

OK, here we go.

I'm going to put everything I've got, all in, all in.

And I put everything on the eight. No, slow down!

I feel lucky.

Seven. We're out. You're all out.

He was all in, you're out.

Gino, that was the only number not to do.

You just lost all my money. I lost all the money.

We're all out.

That's why it's called craps, because it is crap.

You get a seven, you're screwed. That was a disaster.

Gino! Gino, where are you going?

Look at these...

He's like a little baby.

The night hasn't finished yet.

Whatever you do in Vegas, stays in Vegas, right?

# I miss already Las Vegas

# Hoo-hoo

# The city's kind of contagious

# Hoo-hoo

# Gordon on every billboard

# He's some kind of a lord

Shit.

# Showgirls blowing on my dice

# And a burger definitely overpriced

Stop it!

# I don't want to leave this city

# I was surrounded by titties. #

You can't call them titties!

What can you call them? Breasts.

It doesn't rhyme! THEY ALL LAUGH

Anybody fancy a bite to eat? Yeah, yeah. I'm hungry.

We're on a culinary American road trip,

leaving Nevada and heading into Arizona.

Look at that sign! Oh, my God!

Crazy Fred. Crazy Fred.

Stop! I want to get some breakfast from there.

Wait a second... Crazy Fred!

Yeah!

Finally, you've got your own restaurant.

Hurry up, Freddo! He is crazy as well.

What shall we have for breakfast? I'm starving.

McFred's. McFred's.

It's a great sandwich. It'll fill you up. Perfect.

Can I have three, please? You can.

HORN BLARES

J'arrive! J'arrive!

What has he got on his head? What are you do...?

Relax. What do you look like?

I'm getting some... Yeah, I got the McFred's.

The what? This is their specialty.

I love America.

By the way, I'm not crazy.

I am just very enthusiastic.

THEY ALL LAUGH

Did we not ask for something lighter?

Look, cheese and burger... They don't do croissants.

..first thing in the morning.

It's actually quite good. Yeah. Mm.

Mm. Good, Gino?

Mm. It's actually quite tasty.

I thought it was going to be McShit, but it's actually McNice.

THEY LAUGH

American food has a bad reputation in the UK.

We all think about friend food... That's it.

..huge portions, no flavours,

no great ingredients.

There is a lot more to eating here than fast food.

I want to show Gino and Fred that, in some places,

they've made American food great again.

So, I'm taking them to an amazing farm in deepest Arizona.

We're talking proper cowboy country.

Look at the scenery, look at the backdrop.

All we need now is John Wayne going down the mountain with his horse.

Gentlemen, I'm about to take you to an amazing ranch

of some of the best grass-fed beef anywhere in the country.

When you say ranch, I'm worried that we're going to have to do something.

Look at this. Wow.

See, if I imagine America,

I imagine America like this.

Like, the sand, a proper American ranch.

SAT NAV: You have reached your destination.

Turn that crap off!

HORN HONKS

Be careful not to beep at the cows, they'll run everywhere.

Buongiorno! Good morning!

Welcome! Good morning.

Look, that's what you call a proper hand. It's like a shovel.

Look at that. Look at yours, there.

You definitely don't want to have a fight with him.

We have some cowboys that have been rounding up cattle

off the mountains this morning

and they're coming in and I think you're just in time

for us to go out and help them.

Lori and Emmett Sturgill run Rafter's Ranch,

which stretches over 230 square miles.

They have agreed to let us have some of their beef.

But first, we have to work for it.

Come on, guys, get dressed! Come on, we've got cattle to herd.

There you go. Then you've got to pull these up.

Gordon, slowly, the pulling...

You've got to turn them around. Slowly...

You don't just pull!

My, er... How do you say...?

Crown jewels.

Your nuts. The nuts!

OK. There you go.

This is a competition, right?

Do we have guns? No.

Just in case. Actually, if you want one...

Emmett, no guys for these guys, no.

Let's go.

This vast desert landscape creates pure organic beef

exclusive to this area.

That's if we can find them.

Stop, stop! Hey! Emmett, stop!

Holy shit, I just got a bit out of control there.

Ooph! A bit like Gino.

Whoa...

Whoa...!

Pull back, pull back, pull back, pull back.

Gino, control your horse. This is frisky, this thing.

He's like you.

You see these cactus? This is why you wear chaps.

It's hard to believe that cattle are raised here.

It's the driest desert in America

and gets only eight inches of rain a year.

We don't feed our cattle any grain.

Our cattle are grass-fed.

There's hundreds of different plants here that the animals can eat.

They'll eat the cat claw, the bush meal, they'll eat the guyetta.

It's very high in protein.

But they can't eat the cactus, huh? They do eat cactus, yeah.

LORI: All right, we're gonna kind of swing around to the right of them

and then we're gonna get right in behind them and follow them in.

Send them to the right up here.

Right, straight towards the barn.

Gino! Gino, get back here!

Gino! Gino!

Get back! You're in the middle of a cattle drive!

For God's sake!

I once was reading a book called The Kamasutra

and there is a position called a reverse cowgirl.

Did you ever see that?

I have not. But I would like to.

I'm telling you, that is one hell of a position.

Honestly, can't take him anywhere!

Gino, get behind the cows! OK.

Allez! Allez, allez! Come here!

You lost a cow. No, I'm going to get it.

Let me get it, let me get it.

Here we are! Yeah, we got it!

I've always wanted to do this!

Ah, fantastic.

Yee-haw!

I have to admit, I am quite impressed

the way they farm their cows. It's super cool.

Allez, allez, allez!

LORI: Well done, boys!

Yes!

We got it! Yes!

My testicles are like scrambled eggs.

Growing up with cowboy films and John Wayne

and being out here in this incredible land,

on a horse in the wild, you start to realise

just how this place ticked. Nothing short of phenomenal.

I mean, the life of a cowboy...

I mean, I'm very happy to have experienced it once.

But I wouldn't like to do it for a living.

Now that you've accomplished that,

I think we should try some good, grass-fed beef.

EMMETT: This beef was raised right here on this ranch.

Wow. I'm starving.

I was expecting the meat to be drier,

but it's got a good, nice and tender, flakes off.

Full of flavour.

Lori and Emmett believe no part of the animal is off the menu.

So, what is that? Testicles.

EMMETT: Call 'em calf fries. Oh, I love that.

Good. So, we're having bollocks.

Bollocks, yes. I love testicles.

My dad cooked them all the time. Oh, good.

I've been telling my wife for 25 years to put balls in her mouth

and she always says no.

And... Well, she's missing out.

I'll have another testicle. Go ahead.

The beef has got the right amount of fat. Impressed.

Absolutely delicious!

The grass-fed Angus delivers a great flavour.

The secret behind any great burger is the beef.

Wow. Poor Angus' feelings, guys.

That was incredible. It's amazing how hard that is.

This is hard work.

Holy fuck, my balls are roasting.

GORDON: Route 66.

This is a road trip of a lifetime.

Guys, before the freeways were built,

this was the main road through California.

We're on the final leg of our journey,

west to Los Angeles, along the USA's most famous road,

Route 66.

It crosses eight states from Chicago to California.

You know, boys, when I was a kid, I used to collect American cars.

I collected trucks.

Mum and dad had to buy sort of second-hand toys.

OK. I'm not pleading poverty. I'm being honest with you.

It was like... We used to go to jumble sales.

Sometimes I'd go to school thinking,

"Jesus Christ, who's jumper's this, who's trouser's that?"

Mum sent me out to work at 14.

I went to a local Indian restaurant and worked part-time as a washer-up

cos my sister was a waitress in there.

That's why he is the way he is.

THEY LAUGH

They took away the childhood from him!

We've travelled around 500 miles across America's Wild West

to finally reach our destination,

the City of Angels.

Welcome to Los Angeles, my second home.

What do you mean, your second home?

You are American through and through.

I'm still a Brit at heart,

but La La Land is where I live and work for half the year.

It's the showbiz capital of the world

and one of America's food meccas.

You're on Sunset Boulevard, the most famous boulevard on the planet.

Is that where the stars put their names?

That's the Walk Of Fame. Can we not stop and take selfies?

Oh, my God! We're in Hollywood!

No, Fred, Fred!

They're used to crazy people here. I've made it!

LOUD THUMP

Oh, fuck...

What the hell have you done, man?

Urgh...! The sign!

Flipping heck, man! Oh, shit!

Look at that! Damn.

Why didn't you tell me it was so close?

What? You're driving. You're driving.

I thought I'd cleared it.

Have we not got some Sellotape? No.

What about Blu Tack? Shit.

Gordon believes he is the king of the kitchen.

Definitely what he's not is the king of driving.

I'll see you back at my house. All right, see you later.

Take care, Gordon. Cheers.

Hey! Don't forget the selfies.

HE HONKS THE HORN

Whilst Laurel and Hardy take in the sights,

I'm heading home to Bel Air to get started on lunch.

People are going to think we're a couple.

I mean, what a boulevard.

When you've got your name here, you know you've made it, don't you?

Do you think Gordon's gonna have one?

Yeah, of course! Yeah?

Gordon... Yes?

We want to find your star here. Where is it?

Oh, don't be so ridiculous. You buy those fucking stars.

I have real stars.

They're Michelin stars! Why are you ringing me for this?

We want to take a selfie!

Can you make any signs? Yes.

Shall we have one, just to piss him off?

Yeah. Can we have our names?

G-I-N-O.

Fred, F-R-E-D.

A little heart in the middle.

Have you not got some kind of a cover

or can you not drive only in the shade? It's very hot.

This is better.

Through there, that is how you get to the Academy Awards.

What the hell is that? Welcome!

On, my God, they're weird here in Hollywood, man.

Welcome to Hollywood!

This thing... I mean, look at that.

And we're coming into the area

where they had gambling casinos back in the days,

if you've ever heard of our gangster Bugsy Siegel.

And what about Gordon Ramsay? What do you think about Gordon?

He's a nice gentleman. But everyone knows

he makes the worst pad thai on earth.

Where did you see that?

If you can't cook Thai food in LA, you can't cook, man.

Now, did you guys meet online or...?

You seem so natural together, it's beautiful.

Do you guys know any Hollywood history,

how we got here, what's going on?

No, yeah, but, don't... Gino...

Check it out, 1850, both of your countries, incredibly civilised.

And Hollywood, 1851, an adobe shack.

Wait, wait, wait... Shh, shh, shh!

Don't say anything.

Did you wash your hands as well, yeah?

Yes, I did, Mum, thank you very much.

Back at my ranch, my mum Helen is over on holiday

and helping me prepare lunch.

This is like the good old days, Gordon, hey? The good old days.

We're making burgers with beef we picked up from the ranch.

There's something quite nice about grinding beef

that you've actually been out and herded the cattle.

Did you enjoy going out with the two friends?

Yes, I did. They're very naughty.

That's the same as you, that. No, honestly.

That is. That was the olden days, Mum.

That's all gone now. And what happened to it?

I must have blinked and missed it.

And that's it.

That's it?

Here we are. Beautiful house, hey?

Yeah, it's nice.

KNOCK ON DOOR

Oh, that could be them. Now, be nice.

I'm always nice, Mum. Watch your manners.

Welcome home! Yes!

Finally!

This is nice.

I'm prepping now with Mum in the kitchen.

Your cases are upstairs. Far end bedroom.

Must be... Hey, this must be...

Oh, for sure. Oh, yeah.

It's got a gym!

Look at the bathroom!

Look at all these foams and hairspray that he has!

That's why his hair's always standing up.

So, I'm just going to do a load of spicy mayonnaise.

And a little teaspoon of mustard and a little bit of tabasco in there.

That's how, isn't it? And then mix that up.

A little taste.

Mm.

Urgh!

I don't like that.

Have you seen...? Have you ever seen a shoe this big?

No. Look at that...

Just...

THEY LAUGH

Hey, this is all his chef jackets, look!

He is going to kill us.

Are you OK? Yeah, I'm fine, thank you.

It's so nice being in the kitchen with you, you know that?

Oh, it's nice, yeah.

Oh, one more thing.

Mm. Oh, I don't like that, either.

What is it? It's Worcester sauce!

My mum first taught me to cook when I was five

and remains my harshest critic.

But so far, I'm not having much luck

because you don't like the sauce, you don't like the onions.

Hopefully, you'll love when it's all put together.

Would you like a little taste? No, thank you.

No, I don't want any.

Buongiorno. Bonjour.

Mum, Fred and Gino.

Oh... Mwah!

Did you go through my drawers? We did. Yes!

I didn't do that in your house.

Yes, you did. You did.

Yes, you did.

Did you put the barbecue on? The barbecue's on.

Mum, are you good? Yeah, I'm fine, thanks.

Mummy, I've got a beautiful bottle of Gino Vino for you.

Oh, no, Gino, stop it.

Gino Vino? Yes! This is the one I make.

Can I have the left-hand side, please?

You take the right-hand side. This is 2018.

This is the new one.

So, every year, it gets shittier and shitter!

Try a little.

Oh, my God, it's very acidic.

HE SPITS

That's terrible. Can you smell the peaches?

I can smell rust. I can smell mould.

Actually, in all fairness, it's better than last year. Really?

I'm making classic American beef burgers for lunch,

but Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumber reckon they can do better than me

with a European twist.

French mustard with the mayonnaise.

Extra virgin olive oil from Italy.

I'm going to showcase the great American burger.

They're going to do a Euro burger.

Honestly, they've got no chance.

Gordon, open the barbecue. Allez.

As this opens, it's going to go from 550 degrees down to 300.

I need the intensity. It's all about the sear.

OK. OK? Please, be quick.

Quicker, Gino.

Do not put my hand in the barbecue!

What's he doing with all that olive oil on there? Why so much olive oil?

A little bit, a little bit.

I'm gonna flip mine very carefully.

Look at that. Look at those little pancetta goes in there.

Right.

We're losing the heat. I'm not finished!

We need one more slice. Let's go.

No... We need to grill the burger, not boil it.

So, we need to keep the intensity to get that sear in there.

How many times have I told you, we need to sear it? Can you just relax?

You need to sear the burger, we don't broil it.

How many times have I fucking told you to do that? Huh?

I'm sorry, OK? I'm apologising now.

Look at that...

Gino and Fred's Euro burger has caramelised shallots

in balsamic vinegar, topped with two cheeses.

With beautiful melting gorgonzola and Brillat-Savarin.

Ooh-la-la. Yeah?

Wow.

All sandwiched in a brioche bun.

We've finished! Mama, we're ready!

It's not a race.

My simple classic burger has a spicy mayonnaise base,

topped with Wisconsin Cheddar and smoky bacon in a toasted bun.

The great American burger.

Mum, are you ready?

I've asked Mum to judge which of the burgers is best.

Would you like to go for the Euro burger first or the American burger?

I'll go for the Euro first.

OK, Mum? Mm-hm.

Are you good? Do you feel sick? Are you all right?

No? OK... I don't feel sick.

Come on, man. That's dreadful.

You're going to get a smack in a minute, I swear to God.

Now, the American burger.

Now, it's juicy, isn't it, Mum? Isn't it, Mum?

Isn't it, Mum? Oh!

You're such a sucker.

What was the first impression, Mum, when you bit into mine?

It's nice and tasty.

But so was the first one as well. So it's going to be difficult. OK.

Now, on the Euro burger,

the back of the bun was a little bit wet, no?

It was soggy. Sog...?

What about Gordon's one? What about Gordon's bun?

No, his was nice, cos it was toasted, so that's the difference.

The big question is, Mum... Mm-hm.

..which burger do you really love best?

Helen, there's a lot at stake here, OK?

Whoever loses is going to have to get completely naked

and jump in the pool.

Well, this is very hard, I'll tell the three of you.

But I've got to go for yours because I didn't like the soggy bun.

Sorry, did you say Euros or yours? No, yours.

OK, Gordon's bun. Gordon's bun, the American.

Well, I disagree, but... You cannot disagree with Mummy.

You lost, you lost! Big deal!

Get your clothes off and jump in the pool.

OK, let's go.

I always knew I had to pick Gordon

because I wanted to see them jumping in the water with no clothes on.

I am so sorry.

Oh, my goodness me!

I don't think it was completely fair that she judges the competition.

We should have got someone else.

Group hug!

Come here, Gordon!

Helen, you can come in as well!

THEY ALL LAUGH

My dear mother...

..I am so sorry.

I enjoyed it, don't worry about it!

THEY ALL LAUGH

Next time...

Look at the Golden Gate Bridge, guys!

..we're in San Francisco... Woohoo!

This city is all about sex, drugs and rock and roll.

..for our very own summer of love!

Hands on the wheel!

There's, like, a strong cannabis smell.

HE LAUGHS

San Francisco now has become this melting pot of cuisine.

I wanted to show you the Napa Valley from up above.

And look how beautiful this is!

Fucking hell!

Well, I'm glad you're enjoying this. I'm getting done by a goat here.

ALL: # We are three best friends That anyone can have

# We're three best friends That anyone can have... #

GINO: And we never, ever, ever leave each other, right?

GORDON AND FRED: Yes! Yes!

ALL: # Three best friends That anyone can have

# We are three best friends That anyone can have

# We're three best friends That anyone can have

GINO: And we never, ever, ever leave each other, right?

GORDON AND FRED: Yes! Yes!