Original subtitles

Mom, how did you know I was here?

-Joey texted me. -You two know each other?

Cut the crap. I cannot believe you are still

lying to Ashley about not feeling sensation in your legs.

You're pregnant? You just made me the happiest man alive.

Despite how happy this pregnancy has made you, I'm not happy.

If Dani isn't the problem, I want to know what is.

I'm just dying to hear how me marrying someone

who loves me is all about you.

I thought you'd never ask.

Oh, you are too kind.

I will confer with my husband, and we will get back to you.

You take care as well.

Okay. Buh-bye.

Which Jackie?

Jackie Tyree, the Anita Williams impersonator

that officiated Dani's drunken wedding in Las Vegas.

You received her call?

She issued an open invitation for us to come and see her show.

She's gonna give us free tickets.

-Front row seats, no less. -I'm not even tempted.

Why should I go to Vegas to see an impersonator

when I've got the so much better real thing right here?

Well, probably for the best.

She doesn't want to incur your wrath.

Amen.

She shouldn't have allowed that fiasco to happen

in the first place, when Dani and Andre

were obviously inebriated.

Well, now, don't blame Jackie. The fault lies at Bill's door.

He's the one who drove Dani to make

this rash decision in the first place.

That man has been the source

of so many problems for this family.

And occasionally, the solution.

Ever the mediator, Vernon.

Or...

is it you're planning to ask our former son-in-law

for his services again?

Already did.

Bill's due in court this morning

to try to stop Leslie Thomas in her tracks.

Mama.

It's got to be bad if you brought coffee.

It's a latte,

and I got it from that overpriced coffee shop

that you like so much.

Thank God I can afford it now.

You came all the way over here just to give me

an expensive latte from a coffee shop you hate?

The coffee maker here is broken.

I remembered that,

and I just wanted to see

how you are settling in.

Doing just fine with the settling in, Mama.

Did you forget that I used to live here

before you kicked me out?

Which is why I gave you this place,

to make that up to you.

Uh...

And what's with all this stink attitude?

Oh, I'm just wondering what your ulterior motive is

for stopping by.

I'm simply being kind and generous.

Why would you think otherwise?

Oh, experience.

Oh, I guess that's a fair point.

And you will find that today I am big enough to admit it.

♪ ♪

Hi, Ma.

Is there coffee?

In the kitchen, and Mona brought biscuits.

Mm... I'm not really feeling biscuits,

but I'd love some dry toast and egg whites.

Well, you can see if Mona's feeling helping you out

with that or you can feel free to make it yourself.

What's got you so busy?

I'm writing this eulogy for Doug.

Vanessa asked me to speak at his memorial today,

and I really want to do a good job.

They were very close friends of ours.

Yeah, I didn't realize the memorial was today.

I can't stop thinking about Vanessa and the twins.

Life was so good, and then...

all of a sudden, everything flipped.

I have been completely preoccupied

with Doug's accident.

Yeah, and Aunt Dani's surprise wedding to Andre?

Well, don't even get me started with that,

but I haven't really been able to focus on anything else.

But I did see all of the posts.

I am so happy that your online launch went so well.

Looks like ChelseaKat is a huge success.

-It is. -Congratulations, baby.

So why don't you look thrilled?

I'd like to say we ate and left no crumbs,

but the truth is it got a little derailed.

How so?

Oh, first, Chelsea's psycho stalker,

that Allison woman, got a hold of a phone from jail

and called into the live stream.

Yeah, I heard about that.

Did something else happen with the business?

No, the business is great.

It's my love life that sucks.

I found out Tomas cheated on me.

Hey, Dad...

My dad around? Caroline wasn't at her desk.

Bill's in court.

Cool. Well, um, I brought this purse for him.

I'll just leave it here and text him that it's here.

Not sure it's his style.

Bold of you to assume.

It's for Hayley, genius.

He ordered it for her during our online launch.

Well, I'm sure she'll love it.

Okay, well...

Actually, Chelsea, I'm glad I ran into you.

Gives me a chance to tell you how relieved I was

to hear about your rescue.

Everyone was crazy worried when you were missing.

You know, I'm glad I ran into you, too, Tomas.

-Oh, yeah? -Yeah.

It gives me a chance to let you know

what an absolute jackass you are.

-Kat talked to you. -She's my best friend

slash cousin slash business partner.

Of course she told me that you cheated.

How could you be such a bonehead?

I thought things were over between me and Kat.

I didn't expect her to change her mind.

Apparently, you didn't expect a lot of things, right?

Like Kat walking in and finding you naked in Eva's apartment.

I wasn't naked.

I was wearing a towel.

Oh, a towel.

Well, that completely changes everything.

Do you really think that makes it less disgusting?

Like that's supposed to make her feel better?

You were half-naked with Eva.

Wrap yourself in all the towels you want,

you still blew up her trust.

I mean, seriously, dude,

it's bad enough that you cheated, but to do it with Eva?

You had the whole world to mess up with,

and you chose her sister.

What are you taking?

Oh, just a little something for the Duprees.

-Mama, no, do not. -It isn't like that.

Yeah? Show me.

I cannot believe that your opinion of me is so low.

After that stunt you pulled with the tie?

Yeah, Ted told me that you stole it from him

and gave it to Nicole.

That was not a stunt, honey. It was a hint.

Which, if you ask me, is much better and nicer

than me blurting out to that poor woman

that Ted and I slept together.

Know what would've been more nice?

And no doubt more boring. Please, don't inform me.

You didn't have to tell her at all.

And you informed me.

Strategy, honey.

You have got to learn strategy, all right?

Little Nicky would've found out eventually.

-Not from me. Not from Ted. -Whatever.

You are living in the clouds, Mama.

Just because you slept with my father

doesn't mean you're gonna end up with him

any more than I'm going to end up with Tomas.

So what does one have to do with the other?

Um... So how are you liking the hotel?

Talk to Mama, Eva. Did you have sex with Tomas?

[laughs]: Oh.

Okay, I will take your silence as a yes.

You took my advice. Good for you, baby girl.

Ooh!

Come on, give me five on the Black hand side.

Leslie is a formidable foe,

especially now that she has a bankroll to tap.

What is Bill hoping to accomplish?

Whatever it takes to keep her from tearing down

that Georgian colonial she bought across the street

and building that monstrosity she described as a shouse.

With any luck, he'll be able to put an end

to her construction plans.

She'll lose interest.

Buy a house someplace else,

preferably Tasmania or Timbuktu.

You know, Vernon, I-I-I've given this a lot of thought,

too much thought,

and she will find any angle to wedge her way in.

She'll stop at nothing.

Like the other day, when she cornered you at the club.

She knew I would dismiss her,

so she came up with the perfect request,

just persuasive enough to break my silence.

Barbara.

A child wanting information about a mother she never knew.

My friend who I loved and is lost to me.

So, even if

the battle that Bill is waging against her

tearing down the house across the street is successful...

She'll counterattack.

She is relentless, slippery,

and clearly auditioning for a permanent place

in our lives and this zip code.

Now, she's an annoyance, but incite her...

She could become a threat.

And we still have secrets to keep.

And a family to protect.

-Protect our family from what? -Mm!

Martin, I'm gonna have to put a bell around your neck.

Don't sneak up on people like that.

Sorry, Gran.

But I am staying here,

so technically, I didn't sneak up on you.

What? You don't like me staying here?

I love having you here.

But I love even more if you and your husband

would kiss and make up.

TED: Hey, what's so amusing?

Oh. Father-in-law. How goes it?

Honestly, I've been better. You?

[sighs] Same.

Yeah. Join me.

Mm-hmm. So what are we looking at?

Oh, well, it's a very bizarre wedding. Look.

Yeah. You're late to the party, Clark Kent.

I've already seen it.

Oh. Well, I'm impressed.

So what do you think about this whole situation?

It's complicated, but I think it's quite striking

that Dani Dupree is now happily married

and you and I are headed for divorce court.

Martin and I are not headed for divorce court.

Okay, maybe I'm projecting.

Nicole and I are pretty much already there.

Albeit, her decision, not mine.

Yeah, I heard,

-and I'm sorry about that, Ted. -Sure.

Is there any chance she might change her mind?

Let's just say I'm, uh, less than optimistic.

I did try to talk to her a couple times

about what I thought were similarities in our situations.

Yeah, they are similar.

Martin and I...

both hid things from our spouses.

What did Nicole say?

Well, she urged me to forgive Martin,

but then, when it came to you...

Yeah. He's her, he's her son.

Uh... You know, I, uh,

I'm the man that she spent a lifetime with

and hid a affair from her that produced a child.

You know, sometimes, I-I don't know why

she can't just get past it.

And other times, I get it.

Is it true that...

the Duprees, they placed bets on Nicole

when you and she were arguing?

[sighs, clears throat]

I'm sorry. I...

It's just, word gets around.

You know, I-I did, I-I made some mistakes,

and I screwed up big-time, but it-it's...

If it's any consolation,

I think that they're all being too hard on you.

Thank you for saying that.

But if it's not too much of me getting all up in your business,

I think you're doing the same thing to Martin.

Believe me, if a kiss could fix this,

I would be home in a flash,

but it's really not up to me.

Excuse me, but weren't you the one who moved out this time?

You were already back in the house.

I was on the sofa, not in the bedroom,

which isn't the same as being fully back in the house.

You were simply trying to protect him

by keeping that secret.

It's not like you cheated on him.

Tomas cheated on you? Are you sure?

I walked in on them.

-In bed? -In her living room.

-Kat, perhaps... -She was in a robe.

He was in a towel.

Besides, he admitted it.

Oh, sweetheart, I am so sorry.

I know exactly how you must feel.

I know you do.

You probably get it more than anyone.

I mean, I'm sure it's like déjà vu

since you went through the same thing with Dad.

Well, I didn't exactly walk in on your father and Leslie,

and I didn't find out that they slept together for decades,

but I definitely understand how it feels to be betrayed.

And you want to know the kicker?

Your situation and mine, more alike than you think.

How?

Know who I caught Tomas with?

-Someone I know? -Hmm.

I'll give you three guesses, and the first two don't count.

You don't mean...

Like mother, like daughter.

Don't leave me hanging, baby girl.

[makes whooshing sound, laughs]

That is my girl.

[exhales sharply]

Okay, so tell me,

does he roll his... [trills] Rs?

Mama, can you dial it down, okay?

Sometimes you can be so crass.

[mocking]: "Sometimes you can be so crass."

-And childish -[mocking]: "And childish."

Besides, it's not something I'm proud of.

Why not?

You've been pining over that man for months

and you finally bagged him.

You see? That right there.

That's what I'm talking about. "Bagged him"?

Relationships are just a sport to you, right?

What's more fun than winning?

There's more to life than winning and losing,

getting and throwing away.

Besides, I haven't been pining over him.

Why would you even think that?

A mother knows these things,

and it sure isn't Oprah that made you start up

that two-person book club of yours.

It was good old-fashioned lust.

Men and women can be friends.

And I know that you don't understand that,

given your experiences, but it's true.

Okay? Sexual attraction isn't always lust.

Cute. So what was it like?

I mean, was it everything you imagined?

Do I need to go shopping for a mother-of-the-bride dress?

Mama, please chill.

We probably won't ever see each other again.

But why not?

Because he's just not that into me, okay?

He's into Kat, and he made that pretty clear.

And you just rolled over and accepted it?

What was I supposed to do? Hunt him down?

Capture him with my net and spear?

Have I not taught you anything in all these years?

Baby, if you want to be with your Latin lover,

you are going to have to salsa your way into his heart

and, baby, fight for that man.

Hmm?

Please, please stop with all the Latin lover tropes.

Okay? It's degrading and, frankly,

I thought you were trying to better yourself

after your newfound money.

Snooty much?

I mean, what about what I said, though?

The part about you fighting for him.

Yeah, Mama, I'm not gonna do that.

-But why not? -I just told you,

he doesn't want me, he wants Kat.

Okay, he basically said he only sees me as being a friend,

and he apologized if he used me.

Okay? This was right after we slept together.

Oh, honey, don't take that personally.

Ted sang that same old song to me a million times

when we were an item.

-Look at us now. -You two aren't an item.

Nicole is divorcing him,

and I am living two floors under him.

The way you spin reality is mind-boggling.

And soon, it won't be two floors under him.

I'll just be under him.

Ew. Mama.

Okay, Ted doesn't want you any more than Tomas wants me.

Oh, honey.

These men don't know what they want.

I mean, they think they do.

Ted and Tomas are just two conflicted peas

in a testosterone-filled pod.

They're a couple of guys who've convinced themselves that

they're supposed to be with a Dupree woman

and that being with one is going to somehow magically

bestow upon them status and class.

But what they really want,

what they really need, are women like us.

Strong women who understand them.

And don't you dare let some Dupree

or some man who's a wannabe Dupree

make you think otherwise.

I just have to point out one thing.

I didn't feel like I was cheating on Kat at the time.

Oh, this again. Convenient excuse.

I know how it sounds. Just hear me out.

I thought Kat and I were done.

We'd had a huge fight, and I left a bunch of messages

saying I wanted to talk, and I didn't hear anything back.

In my mind, she was ghosting me,

so I thought it was over between us.

Then I was helping Eva move back into her apartment and...

And while you were unpacking the bed,

you decided to fall into it?

I'm saying it wasn't me knowingly cheating on Kat.

Eva and I are friends, and...

I wasn't exactly in the best head space

after Kat told me I was lousy in bed.

Maybe you are.

You know, Chelsea, of all people,

you shouldn't be so quick to talk about choosing partners.

Ooh, Tomas, you can go low, can't you?

When I'm forced to. I'm a lawyer.

I tend to meet people where they are.

And?

The point is, Eva was there for me.

And not gonna lie, we have a strong physical connection,

but Kat is the woman I want to be with.

After what happened the other day, though,

I'm sure she wants nothing to do with me.

I wouldn't go that far.

Well, I would. Kat hates me now.

Ugh. Kat loves you, unfortunately.

You must be furious.

What Tomas did is contemptible.

And Eva.

I am genuinely surprised

that she would do something like that.

You are always so forgiving with her.

Well, she planned it.

I have been saying for months

that Eva was trying to take Tomas away from me.

Nobody would listen, including you.

And I was right.

In my defense, Kat,

you have had it out for Eva since day one.

-If I was a little skeptical... -You mean the first day

she infiltrated this house under false pretenses

so that she could destroy our family?

Crazy how my intuition called that exactly.

She is genuinely remorseful for that.

Clearly, she was a victim of her hateful mother.

Oh. She was a coconspirator with Leslie.

Nevertheless, I don't believe that Eva is the type of person

that would set out to ruin a happy relationship.

Am I wrong, or is this yet another case

of your intuition being spot-on?

Well, maybe things weren't exactly perfect

between Tomas and me.

We were having some... problems.

What kind of problems?

It doesn't matter.

Kat, of course it matters.

Identifying the problems is the first step in solving them.

The simplest solution would be to walk away.

But I still love him, Mom.

[sighs]

Then you should work on the issues that'll make it

possible for the two of you to stay together.

Well, if it's so simple,

does that mean you're gonna work things out with Dad?

You think I'm being too hard on Martin?

[Ted sighs]

Look, my son lied to you,

kept a secret from you for years.

And when the truth comes out, the person you trust the most

spits in your face and tells you it's raining.

Yeah, that about sums it up.

And you want to know how he could do that to you.

-Yes. -By doing it to himself.

You tell yourself it's over, it's in the past.

I didn't allow myself to believe

the secret was still present in our lives,

eating away at our marriage

in ways large and small.

And now Nicole thinks she can't trust me,

just like you don't think you can trust Martin.

But if you love him, then you...

Of course.

Of course I love him.

I just... I just need...

something.

I just need, like...

Proof or a sign,

anything that tells me that I can put my faith in him again.

The way that Martin needs a sign that he could

tell you the truth without blowing up the marriage.

You can't just wait around for some

aha moment to restore your faith in your husband.

Because, Smitty, that's what faith is.

It's believing in something you can't see.

Maybe you should decide to trust him again.

Hmm.

I never thought about it that way.

Yeah. Hope it helps.

For you and Martin

and for the sake of the kids.

I've lost enough.

I don't want to lose a son-in-law, too.

Ah.

I have got to go honor a man

who doesn't have any more chances to get it right.

Yeah, yeah, Doug McBride's memorial.

Yeah.

-Take care of yourself, Smitty. -You, too.

My marriage is in trouble because of the choices I made.

Smitty keeps asking for more time,

but I just wish there was something I could do

to speed up the process, make him see me in a new light.

Well, it sounds like Smitty's expecting some

grand gesture from you to regain his trust,

but I can't imagine what that would be.

Maybe I can.

-Can what? -Just a passing thought.

I probably should get back to the office

and get up to speed on the next bill.

All right. Bye, Gran.

-Bye, Gran. -Mm-hmm.

Well, I wonder what that strange little shuffle was all about.

[phone buzzing]

Bill.

So...

What happened in court?

[phone chimes]

Everything okay, Mama?

Everything's just fine, but I got to go.

Are you sure everything's all right?

I am delicious.

Now, don't you worry about me, all right?

You worry about yourself.

And remember what I told you.

Fight for what you deserve.

And don't you dare let the Duprees

tell you that you can or can't have anything.

You deserve everything

that you want in life, baby girl.

You hear me?

Even if it's that Bad Bunny or whoever.

Tomas, Mama.

-Tomas. -Just Tomas.

Just Tomas, yes.

[grunting rhythmically]

[laughing]

Tomas.

-Love you. -Love you.

[door closes]

-So she actually said it? -CHELSEA: Yes.

And despite my feelings about it and you,

she still wants to be with you.

Listen up,

before that big old head of yours gets any bigger,

there's something that you should know.

Nothing could be more important than Kat loving me.

This may only be the truth according to me,

but I think that Kat only said that

because she doesn't want Eva to win.

This is more about her hating her half-sister than loving you.

Well, since that's just your opinion,

I still have a chance with Kat.

Yeah, and there's a chance that people in hell

might find ice water, but I don't expect it to be that easy.

-And another thing. -What?

Kat's not going to come to you.

This is your mess to fix.

You hurt my cousin again,

and you better duck when you see me coming.

That's a lot of talking,

but you still haven't answered my question.

Do you ever intend to forgive Dad?

Because if you don't,

you might want to stop giving me advice about Tomas.

-Kat. -It's okay.

I just realized our situations aren't alike after all,

because at least I can admit I still love the guy.

Knock, knock.

What are you doing here, Ted?

I just ran into Smitty at Orphey Gene's,

and we got to talking about him and Martin.

-Is Martin okay? -Yes.

Didn't mean to alarm you. He's fine.

Well, as fine as he can be while staying at your parents' home.

I hope those two can work things out.

So do I.

Just like I hope that you and I can work things out.

-Ted, I... -Look, I know you think

your mind is made up about the divorce.

But at the moment, we're still husband and wife.

True, but...

I assume you're going to Doug's memorial.

-I'm writing the eulogy. -Oh.

I look forward to hearing it.

You always had a way of knowing people

slightly deeper than the rest of us.

Anyway, since we're both going and we spent so much time

with Vanessa and Doug over the years,

um, maybe we could go together.

[sighs]

I would really like that. I really would.

-Great. I can drive and... -But I already have a ride.

Carlton is giving me a lift. He asked me yesterday.

I'm sorry.

-I'll see you there. -I see.

Yeah, I'll, uh...

I'll see you there.

[grunts]

[beeps, whirring]

[sighs]

LESLIE: Have I not taught you anything

in all these years?

Baby, if you want to be with your Latin lover,

you are going to have to fight for that man.

It was worth a shot. We'll be in touch.

The judge denied Bill's request for an injunction.

Leslie is free to knock down the colonial across the street

and begin construction at any time.

How do we play this?

I'd love to slam the door in her face,

but if we want to be in a position to outmaneuver her,

we're gonna have to let her in.

Looks like we're gonna be seeing a lot more of her from now on.

She's gonna milk this win for all it's worth.

Probably sooner rather than later.

[doorbell rings]

And we're getting so much better at anticipating her.

Vern, you're opening your own doors now?

I'll never do that.

-Auntie Anita. -No hugs.

I think I'm coming down with something.

-[clears throat] -Oh.

What can we do for you, Leslie?

Don't know if you heard, but I've just been given

the go-ahead to begin my little project across the way.

We've heard.

I am determined to be a good neighbor.

I don't want to cause you any headaches,

but with the construction, well, it's probably nearly impossible.

I mean, you've got the trucks and the bulldozers and all,

so...

I thought I would bring you a little something

for the inconvenience.

-What is that? -It's a fruitcake.

How apropos.

I made it myself.

Oh, it's certainly early for holiday baking.

It's only October.

Oh, no, you misunderstood.

I made it last Christmas.

As in ten months ago?

Oh, fruitcakes can keep in the freezer for at least a year.

Dig in.

Uh, no, uh, that's okay, Leslie.

We just finished our breakfast, but you can put that...

over by the coffee.

Okay.

Well, I hope that you get a chance to enjoy it

when you have time.

I've got to get across the street

and meet with my general contractor.

And perhaps your project manager?

Oh, so, so many people to remember.

And to supervise.

I would warn you about construction schemes,

but surely you've done your research.

I have.

It's a good thing you're available

to keep a constant eye on things.

It is. Got to go.

Shouse to build. Toodle-oo.

-Well played. -[chuckles]

[door closes]

Shall we call a hazmat team?

Only if they can remove that biohazard

that moved in across the street.

How long you think we have before the construction begins?

Huh? A day? Two?

[machinery rumbling, beeping outside]

[phone buzzing]

What?

TOMAS [over phone]: I feel terrible

about the way we left things.

I reserved a table at the country club

and was wondering if you wanted to meet me for lunch

so we could talk.

Sorry, I have other plans.

Oh, good. I found you.

Look, I need to warn you about...

Tomas just called.

Can you believe he had the nerve to ask me

to go to lunch at the club?

What would ever make him think I would say yes?

Well... maybe because, um,

I told him that you love him and you want him back.

[phone buzzing]

Eva.

EVA [over phone]: Surprised?

Yeah, actually.

Look, I feel really terrible about the way we left things,

and I was wondering if you'd like to go to lunch.

Actually, I happen to have a table for two

reserved at the club.

-You want to meet me there? -It's a date.

Smitty.

Martin, hey.

I'm glad I could track you down.

There's something I need to talk to you about.

What's going on? Is it the kids?

No, no, no.

Everything's fine with them. It's about us.

-Okay. -I've been thinking,

well, about everything.

I know I said I kept that secret from you to protect you,

to make sure you stayed out of it

and to make sure you would

be there for the kids if anything went sideways.

But I realized something.

It was more than that.

I was afraid of how you would see me.

That you would look at me differently,

think less of me because of what I did.

Be ashamed of me.

I'm not ashamed of you, Martin.

I know you say that,

but I think maybe you've lost some respect for me,

for lying, for letting everyone cover up my mistakes.

And if you lost that respect for me,

maybe that's why you feel like you can't trust me.

So the only way I can get back to that...

I've decided I need to turn myself in.

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