All language subtitles for 1 1 Last.Week.Tonight.with.John.Oliver.S12E25.480p

Oh.

Last week tonight, I'm John Oliver.

Thank you so much for joining us. It has
been a busy week. Eric Adams dropped

out of New York's mayoral race. The NFL
controversially gave the Super Bowl

halftime show to one of the hottest,
most commercially successful people

And on Wednesday, the government shut
down, disrupting federal programs and

forcing hundreds of thousands of
employees to go without paychecks,

that Trump then celebrated by going on a
meme -posting spree, including this

video.

What the fuck is that?

I honestly don't know what is worse
there, Trump in a hood playing the

dumpling down on this racist sombrero
shit, giving... J .D. Vaughan's

he's never had in his wettest of dreams.

Or the tacit admission that Russ Vogt of
Project 2025 is basically in charge of

everything right now. It is all very
bad. Now, just before the government

down, Tuesday saw a rare gathering of
nearly 800 of the military's top

officials. They've been summoned on
short notice to hear Defence Secretary

Hexeth give a speech in which he
complained about so -called stupid rules

engagement, wokeness, and to a
surprising degree, physical appearance.

Today at my direction, the era of
unprofessional appearance is over.

No more beardos.

Frankly, it's tiring to look out at
combat formations, or really any

and see fat troops.

Likewise, it's completely unacceptable
to see fat generals and admirals in the

halls of the Pentagon and leading
commands around the country and the

It's a bad look.

Oh my God!

I cannot think of a worse reason to be
dragged into a meeting than to get a

lecture on appearance from someone who
looks like Mattel's first Kilda pledge

during Rush Kendo.

And that was more because Hexeth was
then followed by the Commander -in

who gave his own meandering address,
including this sleepy digression about

boats. You know, in the Second World
War, they were freighters of different

types, but we were doing a ship a day,
and now we don't do ships.

And I'm not a fan of some of the ships
you do. I'm a very aesthetic person. I

don't like some of the ships you're
doing aesthetically. They say, oh, it's

stealth. I say, that's not stealth.

An ugly ship is not necessary in order
to say you're stealth.

You know, he is right. We don't do ships
anymore. And it's not stealth to be

ugly. And during the Second World War,
there were freighters and different

types.

You can actually read all about those
insights and more in the helpful

Grandad Used to Sing, How to Recognize
Dementia in Loved Ones and When to Say

Goodbye. But it wasn't all body shaming,
boat shaming, and weird tangents. Trump

also repeatedly hinted at the use of
troops in Democrat -run cities with

like this.

What they've done to San Francisco,
Chicago, New York, Los Angeles, they're

unsafe places, and we're going to
straighten them out one by one.

And this is going to be a major part for
some of the people in this room. That's

a war, too. It's a war from within.

Okay, set aside just how chilling the
phrase war from within is.

Did he swallow a fistful of Xanax before
walking onto that stage?

Because he has the energy level of a cat
who just walked into a sunbeam.

That basically sounds like Civil War
ASMR.

Obviously, threatening military action
against your own people is alarming,

especially given we've already seen
troops deployed to LA and DC this year,

Trump has now ordered similar
deployments to Portland and Memphis. In

day after that speech, HXS went to
Memphis and stood behind Stephen Miller

bragged about a ramped -up federal
presence there in a speech that I'm sure

sounded tough in his head.

You know, the gangbangers that you deal
with, they think that they're ruthless.

They have no idea how ruthless we are.

They think they're tough. They have no
idea how tough we are.

They think that they're hardcore.

We are so much more hardcore than they
are.

What a fucking loser.

I've got to say, at this point, white
supremacists just have to be

right? This is your champion right here?

A man who looks like he still has a soft
spot on his skull?

The thing is, it is more than just talk,
because yet again this week we saw

nauseating footage of ICE raids around
the country, with perhaps the worst

happening in Chicago, where federal
agents handcuffed a city council member,

tossed a tear gas canister onto a busy
street near a school, and raided a whole

apartment building, turning apartments
upside down. And the details of that

are grotesque.

Neighbors tell us there were dozens of
ICE agents.

Neighbors like Ebony Watson says they
ducked for cover as they heard several

flashbangs go off.

They was terrified. The kids was crying.

People was screaming.

They looked very distraughted. I was out
there crying when I seen the little

girl come around the corner. Because
they was bringing the kids out too. Had

them zip tied to each other. That's all
I kept asking. Where's the morality?

Where's the human?

One of them literally laughed. He was
standing right here.

He said, f*** them kids.

Wow.

fuck them kids.

That is completely unacceptable coming
from a federal fucking agent who has zip

-tied children. Honestly, the only
person who might be allowed to mutter

them kids is the guy who has to clean
the piss out of the Chuck E. Cheese ball

pits, but absolutely nobody else.

But as grim as all of this has been, the
one glimmer of hope has been the

strength of the pushback.

from local communities around the
country. There have been widespread

against ICE, and some of them very
funny, from someone dancing in a giant

costume outside an ICE detention centre
in Portland to a protest outside Chicago

holding up this excellent sign which
read, I fucked two of you on Grindr,

parentheses.

Pretty sure, which is very good. The
only way it could possibly get better is

the pretty sure was only because the guy
couldn't remember if it was grinder or

scruff. I definitely fucked you and you.
I just want to be accurate regarding

how we got there.

And in Rochester last month, I cornered
some men working on a roof and were

waiting for them to come down to arrest
them. But a local pastor went on social

media to summon people to protest. And
just watch what happened next.

A chaotic scene on Westminster Road
Tuesday morning in Rochester as federal

agents were carrying out an ICE
enforcement and removal operation.

They're here putting on a roof, trying
to make a dollar, and paying taxes on

that dollar. And ICE was here bothering
them.

So I came to bother ICE.

Details from federal authorities are
limited, but our cameras captured a

Patrol vehicle at the scene with flat
tires.

In response to the large crowd, agents
left Westminster and the SUV was towed a

few blocks away.

Perfect. Well done to everyone involved.

And I absolutely love that that woman
said, I came to bother ICE.

Because that seems reasonable to me. If
ICE can show up and bother some guys at

their roofing job, then bystanders
should be able to bother ICE at their

-sanctioned kidnapping job.

It is only fair. And look, this
administration is clearly still hell

trying to intimidate communities with
shows of force, which is why it is so

important for them to be met with strong
pushback each and every time, because

this administration is obsessed with
appearances.

And the thing is, they can dress up
their bureaucrats as the Grim Reaper.

They can taunt gangbangers about being
more hardcore than they are. They can

kick out all the beardos and fat -shame
our ships. But what they cannot do is

cover up the ugliness of what they are
doing right now. And it deserves to be

pushed back on and exposed at every
available opportunity. Because if we do

do that, then, much like two ICE agents
somewhere outside Chicago, I'm pretty

sure we are fucked.

And now, this.

And now.

Conservatives are not happy about the
2026 Super Bowl halftime performer.

Bad Bunny at the Super Bowl is a very
bad idea. Well, first, I should share

Mark that when I texted Larry, he wrote
me back and goes, Bugs Bunny? I don't

know if we should do that on our show.
No, it's Bad Bunny. A reminder, Bad

is an outspoken critic of ICE and the
president.

It's, you know, America's pastime,
football, and we're going to have...

a halftime performance in Spanish.

Imagine if Bad Bunny sang all of his Bad
Bunny songs in Arabic or Chinese or

Russian. You think maybe this story
would get a little more attention than

today? You know, they call him the king
of the Latin trap. The trap is hiring

somebody who's partisan and who has very
dark images in his videos. I'm going to

give you an example of this video where
he appears as Nosferatu.

Bad Bunny. We have a picture of Bad
Bunny.

Oh, technical issues.

I mean, who are we going to have next
year? P. Diddy?

I remember in the 1990s, they once had a
great big 50th anniversary of Snoopy

and Charlie Brown.

Snoopy and Charlie Brown. Now we have
the bunny. Do you think Bad Bunny is a

good choice for the Super Bowl?

I'm not that knowledgeable about him,
but it seems fine, and I don't know why

it's a big deal.

Seems like a great American artist, so
sure. He's not an American artist,

He's Puerto Rican. That's part of
America, dear.

Yeah.

Moving on.

Our main story tonight concerns
presidential libraries, voted number one

little activity by retired dads
quarterly.

Presidential libraries are incredible
repositories of documents, artifacts,

occasionally displays like this one at
the Reagan Library, really laying out

that man's priorities.

You might know that President Reagan
once said, there's nothing as good for

inside of a man as the outside of a
horse.

Well, the exhibit about Rancho Del
Cielo, the ranch in the sky, describes

feelings about his beloved ranch.

Reagan once said, you look at the beauty
of it, and God really did shed his

grace on America.

And there's a gallery about his
sidekick, as he called her, Mrs. Reagan.

Yeah, apparently it goes horse, then
wife, the way God intended. And look!

My position on horses is clear, I think,
but Reagan's quote, there is nothing as

good for the inside of a man as the
outside of a horse, might be the

thing I have ever heard.

He should have been put on a watch list.
He should have been banned from petting

zoos and merry -go -rounds.

I sincerely hope they don't have horses
in hell, because they are not safe.

But a weird horse exhibit is actually
par for the course. Presidential

often have eye -catching artifacts
displayed throughout, from Gerald Ford's

letter pardoning Nixon to the microphone
FDR used for his fireside chats, and

some even host exhibits that have
nothing to do with American history or

the president themselves, like this one.

Come experience extreme bugs at the
Clinton Presidential Center, where

and ladybugs are as big as cars.

Be transported into a new world that
puts you up close and personal with big,

larger -than -life bugs, all in their
natural habitat.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Hold up. In their natural habitat? Look,
I'm no insect expert, despite looking

like I spent my high school years
collecting bugs instead of friends, but

pretty sure Giant Spider's natural
habitat is not a museum dedicated to

Clinton. It is, as we all know, any New
York restaurant with a thief in the

Department of Health.

Still, as you've undoubtedly noticed,
The subject of presidential libraries

been in the news a lot lately, primarily
because of a flurry of donations to

Trump. Tonight, a $16 million
settlement.

Paramount, the parent company of CBS,
announcing it will pay President Trump's

legal fees and give money to his future
presidential library.

President Trump has signed an agreement
with Meta to settle a lawsuit that he

filed against the company and its CEO.
According to a spokesperson, the

settlement terms are $25 million, with
$22 million of it going toward Trump's

future presidential library. In the
settlement, ABC agreeing to donate $15

million to Trump's presidential library.

Right, Trump's Presidential Library
Foundation seems to be the preferred

for what I'm apparently legally not
allowed to call shakedowns or extortion

attempts, so I won't. It's actually one
of many things I'm not allowed to say,

like that the Chipotle guac's secret
ingredient is frog jizz, that's why it

costs so much, or that...

I personally believe dozens of men have
died on the set of Mission Impossible

movies. There is just no way Tom Cruise
is the first person attempting those

stunts, and you know that Scientology is
covering it up. If they can hide

Shelley Miscavige for 18 years, they can
definitely bury a few handfuls of

stuntmen, no problem. Anyway, all of
those things are things that I am not

allowed to say, so let's all agree that
I didn't.

The thing is, as is so often the case,
Trump is merely laying bare a system

that's actually been problematic all
along. Because while presidential

enjoy the reputation of being esteemed
guardians of history, the truth is,

they've always been both a little more
and a little less than that. So given

that, tonight, let's talk about
presidential libraries, what they

who's in charge of them, and why Trump
may be about to supercharge the problems

that they can cause. And let's start
with the fact that the very term library

a bit of a misnomer. In fact, here is
Harry Truman, a few years after his

opened, setting the record straight.

This library is not a library.

It's an archives building with the idea
of keeping the records of the government

in an orderly manner.

The objective is to obtain microfilm
reports on all the presidential papers.

It'll take a little while to get that
done, but when you do get it done, this

place will be the center of the study of
the presidency of the United States.

Yeah, that is basically it. And by the
way, do you remember when presidents

boring?

It almost feels strange to watch a clip
of one without the fear he's going to

throw in a slur or argue that Joy Behar
should be impregnant.

Back then, presidents kept their racism
and sexism away from the cameras and

just put them in their policies. It was
a simpler time.

But like Truman just said, presidential
libraries aren't libraries in the

traditional sense in that you can come
and check books out. They're actually

things fused together. Archives
containing the official records from a

presidency for researchers and scholars
and a museum showcasing that presidency

for various visiting dads and bored
school kids who already went to the

planetarium last year.

The first presidential library was
established by FDR, who wanted a place

house the presidential papers and gifts
accumulated during his administration.

Before then, when a president's term
ended, he'd leave the White House with

his records, many of which ended up
destroyed. George Washington's were

apparently extensively mutilated by
rats.

Most of William Henry Harrison succumbed
to flames when his log cabin burned

down. And Chester Arthur's son had most
of his father's papers burned in three

garbage cans. And if you automatically
knew Chester Arthur was the 21st

president and not the name of a snack
food character, congratulations, you are

our exact audience.

The point is, after FDR, presidents
began gifting their records to the

government to be housed in libraries.
And that is a good thing.

Among other reasons, it is why we have
this incredible audio of LBJ calling the

head of the company that made his
trousers with a custom request.

The crotch down where your nuts hang is
always a little too tight.

So when you make them up, give me an
inch that I can let out there because

cut me.

It's just like riding a wire fence.

Let's see if you can't believe me about
an inch from where the zipper ends down

under my...

Back to my bunghole.

That is just excellent.

We've played that clip before on this
show, and we will play it again.

Not only does he burp in the middle of
the call like a man whose nuts haven't

breathed in years, but every time I hear
it, I'm forced to wonder just how big

were LBJ's balls?

I mean, just in terms of fruit, are we
talking plums or pomelos?

Kiwis or mangoes?

Clementines or big honking navel
oranges?

If I could go back in time and ask LBJ
one question, it would be, did you put

out the hit on JFK? But if I could ask
two, I'd say, if we're measuring

circumference, do we need inches or do
we need feet?

Now, initially, the handover of records
was voluntary. But after Nixon tried to

ensure access to audio tapes from his
presidency would be limited to himself

laid plans that they'd be destroyed at
some point, Congress made it mandatory,

codifying into law that presidential
records belong to the public and are to

turned over at the end of their term to
be controlled by the National Archives

and Records Administration, or NARA. And
it is then the library archivist's job

to catalogue everything, which is no
small feat.

Because records doesn't just mean papers
and emails. It can mean all kinds of

shit. As a Clinton Library employee
explains.

You can find fine art in a box. You can
open up a box and find head of state

gifts that are a thousand years old. You
can find just about anything when you

open up a box. It's sort of like every
day is Christmas.

Many of the gifts were sent to President
Clinton by the public, including a

statue of American basketball star
Michael Jordan.

This is something that someone thought
the president would like to have and

it off to the White House.

Yeah, someone thought President Clinton
would like to have that statue of

Michael Jordan, a sculptural rendering
of his airness soaring over, I want to

say, the charred remains of his enemies.

And you know what? Congrats to that
person. Their gift ended up in a place

honour, specifically in an industrial
-sized file cabinet being lightly groped

by a woman with the most archival
librarian energy I've ever seen in my

present company excepted.

But again, the archives are just one
part of a presidential library. Most of

physical structure is a museum dedicated
to that president's life and history.

If you have been to one, that is
probably what you walked through.

But it's worth understanding how both
halves, the archives and the museum,

interact and how they came to be set up
in the first place. And the first thing

to understand is that these buildings
aren't publicly funded.

In fact, here's Jimmy Carter at the
dedication ceremony for George H .W.

library describing how it works.

As many of you may not know, all the
funds that are invested in

presidential libraries, none of it comes
from the federal government.

We have to raise the money and then turn
over the library to the federal

government. He's right. If a president
wants a library, and they all do.

They have to raise the money themselves.
It's one of the many quirks of being a

president, alongside the fact that if
the first lady dies in office, you have

remarry the White House Easter Bunny.
That is true.

It is in the Constitution.

So to pay for their libraries,
presidents have traditionally created

foundations that raise money from a
variety of sources.

Build and equip the libraries?

and then eventually donate them to the
government, either through deed or

Now, once that happens, by and large,
the federal government pays to run them,

and federal employees operate them. And
that is not cheap, by the way. The

government spends around $100 million a
year operating, maintaining, and

improving these libraries, whether
that's repair work to a building's

or, in the case of the LBJ museum in
Texas, something a little more intimate.

Though it is in an area now closed to
visitors, the animatronic LBJ still

Everyone loves the animatronic LBJ.
Everyone can relate to it. People enjoy

humor. In the next few days, though, the
half -fascinating, half -creepy LBJ

will be taken apart and moved.

Step one, it's just a matter of taking
his clothes off.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what are you
doing?

do that in front of us, no one needs to
see an animatronic LBJ stripped down to

his softball -sized nuts and bunghole.

Rest in peace, LBJ, you'd have crushed
on OnlyFans.

But this weird public -private
partnership where the library gets built

president and his foundation, then
operated by the government, means that

line between shrine and official archive
can get unhelpfully blurry.

Especially because those foundations are
often run by the president's family and

friends, who often then help to
personally curate the exhibit and what

means is on the museum side of things
especially when a library first opens

Exhibits can be extremely one -sided.
Take the Reagan Library, which has been

called a Graceland for Conservatives. It
features everything from an actual

plane that served as Air Force One, to a
section of the Berlin Wall, to an Irish

pub the Reagans once visited, which was
purchased by the Reagan Foundation and

recreated as a place to sell snacks,
complete with a bottle, glasses, and

of the bar the Reagans once touched
under reliquary -like glass. And look,

not surprised that the actor president
turned his life... into What If Planet

Hollywood, but with more Gorbachev.

But Ronnie R and his sidekick wife touch
this piece of wood while having a beer

and ignoring AIDS feels a bit much to
me.

But the thing is, when it comes to one
of the biggest scandals of Reagan's

presidency, Iran -Contra, when the
museum first opened and for years

it didn't mention it at all.

And that is not a one -off. On the day
that Clinton's library opened, it became

clear... There were some pretty
significant editorial choices made.

For all the President Clinton fans who
braved the weather today, he certainly

has his critics, and they complain the
new library gives little attention to

impeachment scandal that dominated
Clinton's second term.

Inside the museum, just one alcove deals
with impeachment and characterizes it

as a struggle for power.

Most of the building is filled with
pictures and memorabilia from more

accomplished and happier times.

Yeah, that makes sense, doesn't it? If
you asked any rando on the street to

something that defines Clinton's
presidency, they'd say, ooh, probably

That guy loved baseballs to a genuine
fault. If I remember, his love of

almost derailed his presidency.

Now, that pattern continued with George
W. Bush's.

Museum, where a historian pointed out
that a display about the Iraq War boldly

claims no stockpiles of weapons of mass
destruction are found, although Iraq's

WMD -related program activities are
still a threat, which is a big old swing

take. At that point, you'd almost be
better off just having the whole Iraq

section be a giant sign reading, Oops!

At least that would be historically
honest.

But perhaps the most extreme case of
whitewashing was at Nixon's library,

initially opened without a partnership
with the National Archives.

When the library first opened, it taught
visitors that Watergate was a coup

orchestrated by the media and democratic
elite, that the enemy's list was the

product of a rogue presidential staffer,
and that Nixon didn't do anything his

predecessors hadn't done except get
caught.

And just set aside how ahistorical that
is. Why would you want that to be your

legacy? Yeah.

Yeah, I was a criminal, but so was
everyone else. It's just that I was also

embarrassingly bad at it.

Now, I should say, the Nixon Library did
eventually get folded into the National

Archives, and their Watergate exhibit is
now more accurate. Though, if also

worth pointing out, the Nixon Foundation
apparently tried to pressure the

National Archives to fire the library
director before he could finish updating

that exhibit.

And the fact...

Presidents can exert a heavy influence
over exhibits. It's so well known that

the former director of the Herbert
Hoover Library had a pretty grim piece

advice if you are planning to visit any
presidential library.

People generally go, though, initially
to the library as soon as it's opened

then don't return again. I tell people,
wait 25 years, if you've got 25 years.

That is both a little depressing and
also might be the worst advertising

campaign I have ever heard. This will
get good in 25 years is not what you say

to promote a business. If anything, it's
what you say to reassure brand new

parents. Look, just give it 25 years,
then it does get kind of fun.

But he is right. Presidential libraries
do tend to evolve over time. FDR has

worked to update their message on the
Holocaust, describing his slowness to

admit Jewish refugees until late in the
war and reckoning with the internment of

Japanese Americans. And Truman underwent
a huge update and now encourages people

to engage in a debate over the question,
if you were President Truman in 1945,

would you have dropped the bomb? Which
is a fun little discussion.

for a family to have together, and
likely to result in a pretty awkward

home after dad admits he'd have dropped
more and bigger bombs.

So that is the museum half of the
libraries. But remember, there's also

archive side.

And while it is supposed to be separate,
ex -presidents can exert a surprising

amount of control there too, because
their foundations get to consult on the

library's first director, and can
effectively veto anyone that they don't

And that person also gets to oversee the
archive site, which is a big deal.

Because by law, all of the documents
from a presidency are supposed to be

requestable by the public five years
after their term ends. But as a

matter, that's basically impossible for
them to do. Funding for the National

Archives has remained stagnant for the
last 30 years, which, as this archivist

explains, has led to an enormous
backlog.

When that five -year window hits, almost
immediately we have a backlog of

thousands of FOIA requests that we can't
possibly respond to within the 10 days

under the Freedom of Information Act.

Yeah, he's right, and he's actually
massively understating things there.

when it comes to Reagan, Bush, and
Clinton's record, the government

2007 that they wouldn't be fully open
and accessible for 100 years.

At that point, no one is going to have
time to analyse Reagan's papers.

We'll all be too busy dealing with the
fallout of World War IV, presumably

launched by President Beast. Although,
don't worry, don't worry, the video of

him launching the nukes did do numbers,
so it's not all bad news.

And those massive backlogs mean that the
library director has a huge amount of

power when it comes to the order in
which documents get reviewed to be

They can choose to front -load the
subjects that make a president look good

delay the ones that are less flattering.
And before any get released, the former

president gets notified and has the
chance to object, which is a lot of

Because if you told me everything on
your laptop... is going to be released

the next hundred years. And you get to
decide the order. I'm going to release

the scripts from this show first, and my
erotic Wallace and Gromit fanfiction

long after I am fucking dead.

So look, it is pretty clear.

When it comes to their libraries,
presidents get to heavily thumb the

history, both in terms of the exhibits
you can see and the documents that you

can't. But there is one more big issue
here, because remember, as Carter

mentioned, presidents are generally the
ones raising money for these buildings,

and it is not a small amount either.

Over time, libraries have gotten
significantly more expensive.

FDRs cost about $5 million in today's
dollars. Clinton's cost $165 million.

George W. Bush's cost $327 million. And
the upcoming Obama Presidential Center

in Chicago is estimated at around $830
million.

And I do hope at least part of that
money has gone to acquiring the rights

the single best 10 seconds of TV I have
ever seen.

Barack Obama.

It will almost be an honor to kill you.

Yep.

Yep. That is a psychic gorilla who goes
back in time to try and kill a young

Barack Obama.

It is a scene from Legends of Tomorrow,
and I would argue that Obama's

presidential library would be incomplete
without it.

And the thing about fundraising for
these libraries here, there are

rules around it. To be fair, there is
one rule.

Registered lobbyists have to disclose
donations over $200.

But that is the end of the rules.

And that throws the door wide open for
corruption, because while still in

office, presidents can solicit unlimited
Library Foundation donations from

absolutely anybody on earth, including
foreign nationals, individuals seeking

presidential pardons, and corporations
with federal contracts. And this

clearly... incentivizes the president to
fundraise while in office, since that

is when they have the most political
cachet. And since most presidential

foundations enjoy tax -exempt status,
it's also a pretty compelling offer for

donors, all of which opens up a host of
problems, up to and including

accusations of bribery.

This has been an issue for decades now.
Bill Clinton caught a lot of heat at the

end of his presidency after he did this.

Among his last acts, he pardoned
billionaire fugitive Mark Rich.

A man who never stood trial is now
cleared for crimes that could have meant

years in prison.

That's Rich's ex -wife Denise hugging
and kissing the Clintons. She's a New

socialite who's donated more than a
million dollars to Democrats.

Thank you, Denise.

Thank you for everything you've done to
make it possible for Hillary and me to

serve. OK, thanks to Denise aside, can
we just talk for a second about this

fucking photo?

This man looks like the godfather
concept art.

I've never been more certain in my life
that someone was undeserving of a

presidential pardon than in the three
human seconds that photo was on screen.

And the details in that case are pretty
damning. Mark Rich had fled to

Switzerland 17 years before after he was
indicted on more than 50 counts of wire

fraud, racketeering, trading with Iran
during an embargo, and evading more than

$48 million in income taxes. And let me
reiterate, he fled.

This man was a fugitive. He wasn't in
the US fighting to clear his name. He

noped the fuck out of the country.

But Clinton pardoned him, which, as many
pointed out at the time, came hot on

the heels of a $450 ,000 donation from
Denise to, guess what, the Clinton

Library Foundation. And look, I am not
saying that the runaway billionaire

funnelled bribe money through his ex
-wife to the Clintons in exchange for

immunity. I am not saying that.

What I am saying is...

If someone were to do that, what do you
think that individual would look like?

And would they look something like this?
I am just asking questions.

Now, I should say, not every president
has done this. To his credit, Obama

eschewed directly soliciting library
donations while in office and

disclosed donations that he received.
But he didn't have to do that.

And that is kind of the problem here,
because all of this brings us back to

Donald Trump.

who is now set to amplify every single
problem that I've described so far.

Because presidential libraries seem
almost designed to exploit his every

personal failing, from his tendency to
obfuscate his wrongdoing, to his desire

to build expensive monuments to himself,
to a set of ethical guidelines based

more in norms than law. Because the fact
is...

As things stand right now, someone could
walk up to Trump today with a $15

million check, hand it to him while
saying, we love the work that you are

and hope that you'll consider helping us
out with that little problem that we

were discussing earlier.

And as long as that check said, pay to
the order of the Donald J. Trump

Presidential Library Foundation, it
would be completely legal. Though, don't

worry, what soulless, ethically
bankrupt, arse -kissing corporation

think of doing something like that?

Please? Stay the fuck away from us. You
are not my real business, daddy, and you

never will be.

And the legal settlements that we know
about are bad enough, but that's just

beginning of the money involved here.

Funds left over from the $239 million
raised by the Trump -Vance inaugural

committee, including millions from tech
companies and CEOs, are also expected to

be redirected to Trump's library.

And that's not even getting into the
$400 million plane.

given to Trump by Qatar, which is also
slated to be transferred to the Trump

Library shortly before he leaves office.
And that gift is being flown directly

through the library loophole.

The Constitution prohibits anyone
holding federal office from accepting a

personal gift from a foreign head of
state.

But sources say Attorney General Pam
Bondi has concluded that this gift is,

quote, legally permissible because the
plane is not being given to an

individual, but rather to the U .S. Air
Force and then to Donald Trump's

foundation.

Oh, come on. We all know what is going
to happen here. He's going to use that

plane while in office, and then instead
of leaving it for the next president to

use, he's going to keep it for his
library and suddenly discover he has a

library -related business to do all over
the world.

It's just completely inevitable.

Kind of like how after Trump leaves
office, Pete Hegseth will get his own

News show, Caroline Levitt will go on
Dancing With The Stars and get voted off

after two weeks.

And Stephen Miller will return to the
cocoon that he emerged from.

We all know these things are going to
happen.

And while technically Trump doing that
could be perceived as legally dicey, the

main enforcement body for all of this
would be the IRS, which the Trump

administration has been gutting to a
shell of its former self. So I would say

the odds of him getting away with it
look pretty high.

And it does seem notable that Trump was
given a $400 million plane by Qatar and

then just this week, out of absolutely
nowhere, he issued an EO declaring that

any attack on Qatar would be treated as
a threat to US security. And look, I am

not saying the US military should be for
sale, but it sure feels like Qatar just

bought it awfully cheap.

In fact, I would say the same thing to
Trump that I once said about Kim

Kardashian turning up for a shaman
toilet paper event.

They simply didn't pay you enough to do
as much as you are doing for them right

now.

The point here is our whole private
public setup for presidential libraries

resulted in a bunch of shrine -like
buildings the president can raise money

from basically any source with the vast
majority of donations undisclosed. And

as usual, Trump, simply by being
himself, has very effectively shined a

light on all these cracks.

So, what should we do? Well, for
starters...

we should make donations to presidential
libraries far more transparent, and

soliciting them while in office should
be outlawed altogether.

Multiple bills have tried to do some
version of that over the years, but

all gone absolutely nowhere, and
frankly, I don't think that this guy is

to be signing one any time soon.

As for the National Archives, they
should be getting funded to an

level so they can reduce that 100 -year
backlog and actually do the important

job that they're supposed to. Because
who knows how many more recordings at

bunghole level we could be missing out
on.

But honestly, maybe the main thing here
is to let go of the idea that these

giant shrines are remotely necessary or
that they're accurate representations...

and try to decouple their celebrity
function from their archival one.

And that link's actually been wobbling
for a while now. A few years ago, the

federal government actually handed all
control of the George W. Bush Museum

to its private foundation. So the
government still runs the archives, the

important part.

When it comes to the museum, there are
no federal workers lending legitimacy to

its whitewashed version of history.
Meanwhile, Obama declined to build an

archive at his future presidential
center at all, instead opting to

his unclassified paper records. That
means that his grand monument to himself

will be entirely privately run. And
while I know this sounds weird, maybe

a good thing.

But the key thing is, next time you
visit a presidential library, and

one of the newer ones, You should go in
there knowing that they are not

necessarily telling the story of that
president from a historical lens, but

a personal one.

And going forward, whenever you hear
reports that an organisation, news

or foreign country is giving money to a
presidential library, and I think that

you're going to be hearing about that a
lot over the next three years, know that

it is at best a personal gift, and at
worst an active bribe. And while clearly

none of this is ideal, I guess, As long
as this is how the system is operating,

then if you can't beat them, you should
probably join them. So given that,

please follow me.

Because after researching this story, we
suddenly found ourselves motivated to

donate something of real value to any
presidential library or foundation

interested in taking it.

Specifically, what we'd like to offer is
this.

It is, from our own guesstimates,

A life -size rendering of LBJ's balls.
And any presidential library is now

welcome to take these balls as a symbol
of the massive ego it takes to build one

of these libraries in the first place.
The only catch is, in the grand

of these buildings engaging in quid pro
quos, we would expect something in

return. Now, obviously, these testicles
make the most sense in LBJ's library. In

return, we'd be interested in taking
your animatronic statue.

But we're also open to negotiation with
other foundations, too. Just make us an

offer, whether it's the horse statue
from the Reagan Library, or if the Trump

Foundation is so inclined, a full
blanket pardon for me personally.

That is apparently something I'm allowed
to suggest. The point is, we are open

to any and all trade, so please do get
in touch. That is our show. Thank you so

much for watching us. We'll see you next
week. Good night!

What's about the bulls?