Original subtitles

Oh.

Last week tonight, I'm John Oliver.

Thank you so much for joining us. It has been a busy week. Eric Adams dropped

out of New York's mayoral race. The NFL controversially gave the Super Bowl

halftime show to one of the hottest, most commercially successful people

And on Wednesday, the government shut down, disrupting federal programs and

forcing hundreds of thousands of employees to go without paychecks,

that Trump then celebrated by going on a meme -posting spree, including this

video.

What the fuck is that?

I honestly don't know what is worse there, Trump in a hood playing the

dumpling down on this racist sombrero shit, giving... J .D. Vaughan's

he's never had in his wettest of dreams.

Or the tacit admission that Russ Vogt of Project 2025 is basically in charge of

everything right now. It is all very bad. Now, just before the government

down, Tuesday saw a rare gathering of nearly 800 of the military's top

officials. They've been summoned on short notice to hear Defence Secretary

Hexeth give a speech in which he complained about so -called stupid rules

engagement, wokeness, and to a surprising degree, physical appearance.

Today at my direction, the era of unprofessional appearance is over.

No more beardos.

Frankly, it's tiring to look out at combat formations, or really any

and see fat troops.

Likewise, it's completely unacceptable to see fat generals and admirals in the

halls of the Pentagon and leading commands around the country and the

It's a bad look.

Oh my God!

I cannot think of a worse reason to be dragged into a meeting than to get a

lecture on appearance from someone who looks like Mattel's first Kilda pledge

during Rush Kendo.

And that was more because Hexeth was then followed by the Commander -in

who gave his own meandering address, including this sleepy digression about

boats. You know, in the Second World War, they were freighters of different

types, but we were doing a ship a day, and now we don't do ships.

And I'm not a fan of some of the ships you do. I'm a very aesthetic person. I

don't like some of the ships you're doing aesthetically. They say, oh, it's

stealth. I say, that's not stealth.

An ugly ship is not necessary in order to say you're stealth.

You know, he is right. We don't do ships anymore. And it's not stealth to be

ugly. And during the Second World War, there were freighters and different

types.

You can actually read all about those insights and more in the helpful

Grandad Used to Sing, How to Recognize Dementia in Loved Ones and When to Say

Goodbye. But it wasn't all body shaming, boat shaming, and weird tangents. Trump

also repeatedly hinted at the use of troops in Democrat -run cities with

like this.

What they've done to San Francisco, Chicago, New York, Los Angeles, they're

unsafe places, and we're going to straighten them out one by one.

And this is going to be a major part for some of the people in this room. That's

a war, too. It's a war from within.

Okay, set aside just how chilling the phrase war from within is.

Did he swallow a fistful of Xanax before walking onto that stage?

Because he has the energy level of a cat who just walked into a sunbeam.

That basically sounds like Civil War ASMR.

Obviously, threatening military action against your own people is alarming,

especially given we've already seen troops deployed to LA and DC this year,

Trump has now ordered similar deployments to Portland and Memphis. In

day after that speech, HXS went to Memphis and stood behind Stephen Miller

bragged about a ramped -up federal presence there in a speech that I'm sure

sounded tough in his head.

You know, the gangbangers that you deal with, they think that they're ruthless.

They have no idea how ruthless we are.

They think they're tough. They have no idea how tough we are.

They think that they're hardcore.

We are so much more hardcore than they are.

What a fucking loser.

I've got to say, at this point, white supremacists just have to be

right? This is your champion right here?

A man who looks like he still has a soft spot on his skull?

The thing is, it is more than just talk, because yet again this week we saw

nauseating footage of ICE raids around the country, with perhaps the worst

happening in Chicago, where federal agents handcuffed a city council member,

tossed a tear gas canister onto a busy street near a school, and raided a whole

apartment building, turning apartments upside down. And the details of that

are grotesque.

Neighbors tell us there were dozens of ICE agents.

Neighbors like Ebony Watson says they ducked for cover as they heard several

flashbangs go off.

They was terrified. The kids was crying.

People was screaming.

They looked very distraughted. I was out there crying when I seen the little

girl come around the corner. Because they was bringing the kids out too. Had

them zip tied to each other. That's all I kept asking. Where's the morality?

Where's the human?

One of them literally laughed. He was standing right here.

He said, f*** them kids.

Wow.

fuck them kids.

That is completely unacceptable coming from a federal fucking agent who has zip

-tied children. Honestly, the only person who might be allowed to mutter

them kids is the guy who has to clean the piss out of the Chuck E. Cheese ball

pits, but absolutely nobody else.

But as grim as all of this has been, the one glimmer of hope has been the

strength of the pushback.

from local communities around the country. There have been widespread

against ICE, and some of them very funny, from someone dancing in a giant

costume outside an ICE detention centre in Portland to a protest outside Chicago

holding up this excellent sign which read, I fucked two of you on Grindr,

parentheses.

Pretty sure, which is very good. The only way it could possibly get better is

the pretty sure was only because the guy couldn't remember if it was grinder or

scruff. I definitely fucked you and you. I just want to be accurate regarding

how we got there.

And in Rochester last month, I cornered some men working on a roof and were

waiting for them to come down to arrest them. But a local pastor went on social

media to summon people to protest. And just watch what happened next.

A chaotic scene on Westminster Road Tuesday morning in Rochester as federal

agents were carrying out an ICE enforcement and removal operation.

They're here putting on a roof, trying to make a dollar, and paying taxes on

that dollar. And ICE was here bothering them.

So I came to bother ICE.

Details from federal authorities are limited, but our cameras captured a

Patrol vehicle at the scene with flat tires.

In response to the large crowd, agents left Westminster and the SUV was towed a

few blocks away.

Perfect. Well done to everyone involved.

And I absolutely love that that woman said, I came to bother ICE.

Because that seems reasonable to me. If ICE can show up and bother some guys at

their roofing job, then bystanders should be able to bother ICE at their

-sanctioned kidnapping job.

It is only fair. And look, this administration is clearly still hell

trying to intimidate communities with shows of force, which is why it is so

important for them to be met with strong pushback each and every time, because

this administration is obsessed with appearances.

And the thing is, they can dress up their bureaucrats as the Grim Reaper.

They can taunt gangbangers about being more hardcore than they are. They can

kick out all the beardos and fat -shame our ships. But what they cannot do is

cover up the ugliness of what they are doing right now. And it deserves to be

pushed back on and exposed at every available opportunity. Because if we do

do that, then, much like two ICE agents somewhere outside Chicago, I'm pretty

sure we are fucked.

And now, this.

And now.

Conservatives are not happy about the 2026 Super Bowl halftime performer.

Bad Bunny at the Super Bowl is a very bad idea. Well, first, I should share

Mark that when I texted Larry, he wrote me back and goes, Bugs Bunny? I don't

know if we should do that on our show. No, it's Bad Bunny. A reminder, Bad

is an outspoken critic of ICE and the president.

It's, you know, America's pastime, football, and we're going to have...

a halftime performance in Spanish.

Imagine if Bad Bunny sang all of his Bad Bunny songs in Arabic or Chinese or

Russian. You think maybe this story would get a little more attention than

today? You know, they call him the king of the Latin trap. The trap is hiring

somebody who's partisan and who has very dark images in his videos. I'm going to

give you an example of this video where he appears as Nosferatu.

Bad Bunny. We have a picture of Bad Bunny.

Oh, technical issues.

I mean, who are we going to have next year? P. Diddy?

I remember in the 1990s, they once had a great big 50th anniversary of Snoopy

and Charlie Brown.

Snoopy and Charlie Brown. Now we have the bunny. Do you think Bad Bunny is a

good choice for the Super Bowl?

I'm not that knowledgeable about him, but it seems fine, and I don't know why

it's a big deal.

Seems like a great American artist, so sure. He's not an American artist,

He's Puerto Rican. That's part of America, dear.

Yeah.

Moving on.

Our main story tonight concerns presidential libraries, voted number one

little activity by retired dads quarterly.

Presidential libraries are incredible repositories of documents, artifacts,

occasionally displays like this one at the Reagan Library, really laying out

that man's priorities.

You might know that President Reagan once said, there's nothing as good for

inside of a man as the outside of a horse.

Well, the exhibit about Rancho Del Cielo, the ranch in the sky, describes

feelings about his beloved ranch.

Reagan once said, you look at the beauty of it, and God really did shed his

grace on America.

And there's a gallery about his sidekick, as he called her, Mrs. Reagan.

Yeah, apparently it goes horse, then wife, the way God intended. And look!

My position on horses is clear, I think, but Reagan's quote, there is nothing as

good for the inside of a man as the outside of a horse, might be the

thing I have ever heard.

He should have been put on a watch list. He should have been banned from petting

zoos and merry -go -rounds.

I sincerely hope they don't have horses in hell, because they are not safe.

But a weird horse exhibit is actually par for the course. Presidential

often have eye -catching artifacts displayed throughout, from Gerald Ford's

letter pardoning Nixon to the microphone FDR used for his fireside chats, and

some even host exhibits that have nothing to do with American history or

the president themselves, like this one.

Come experience extreme bugs at the Clinton Presidential Center, where

and ladybugs are as big as cars.

Be transported into a new world that puts you up close and personal with big,

larger -than -life bugs, all in their natural habitat.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Hold up. In their natural habitat? Look, I'm no insect expert, despite looking

like I spent my high school years collecting bugs instead of friends, but

pretty sure Giant Spider's natural habitat is not a museum dedicated to

Clinton. It is, as we all know, any New York restaurant with a thief in the

Department of Health.

Still, as you've undoubtedly noticed, The subject of presidential libraries

been in the news a lot lately, primarily because of a flurry of donations to

Trump. Tonight, a $16 million settlement.

Paramount, the parent company of CBS, announcing it will pay President Trump's

legal fees and give money to his future presidential library.

President Trump has signed an agreement with Meta to settle a lawsuit that he

filed against the company and its CEO. According to a spokesperson, the

settlement terms are $25 million, with $22 million of it going toward Trump's

future presidential library. In the settlement, ABC agreeing to donate $15

million to Trump's presidential library.

Right, Trump's Presidential Library Foundation seems to be the preferred

for what I'm apparently legally not allowed to call shakedowns or extortion

attempts, so I won't. It's actually one of many things I'm not allowed to say,

like that the Chipotle guac's secret ingredient is frog jizz, that's why it

costs so much, or that...

I personally believe dozens of men have died on the set of Mission Impossible

movies. There is just no way Tom Cruise is the first person attempting those

stunts, and you know that Scientology is covering it up. If they can hide

Shelley Miscavige for 18 years, they can definitely bury a few handfuls of

stuntmen, no problem. Anyway, all of those things are things that I am not

allowed to say, so let's all agree that I didn't.

The thing is, as is so often the case, Trump is merely laying bare a system

that's actually been problematic all along. Because while presidential

enjoy the reputation of being esteemed guardians of history, the truth is,

they've always been both a little more and a little less than that. So given

that, tonight, let's talk about presidential libraries, what they

who's in charge of them, and why Trump may be about to supercharge the problems

that they can cause. And let's start with the fact that the very term library

a bit of a misnomer. In fact, here is Harry Truman, a few years after his

opened, setting the record straight.

This library is not a library.

It's an archives building with the idea of keeping the records of the government

in an orderly manner.

The objective is to obtain microfilm reports on all the presidential papers.

It'll take a little while to get that done, but when you do get it done, this

place will be the center of the study of the presidency of the United States.

Yeah, that is basically it. And by the way, do you remember when presidents

boring?

It almost feels strange to watch a clip of one without the fear he's going to

throw in a slur or argue that Joy Behar should be impregnant.

Back then, presidents kept their racism and sexism away from the cameras and

just put them in their policies. It was a simpler time.

But like Truman just said, presidential libraries aren't libraries in the

traditional sense in that you can come and check books out. They're actually

things fused together. Archives containing the official records from a

presidency for researchers and scholars and a museum showcasing that presidency

for various visiting dads and bored school kids who already went to the

planetarium last year.

The first presidential library was established by FDR, who wanted a place

house the presidential papers and gifts accumulated during his administration.

Before then, when a president's term ended, he'd leave the White House with

his records, many of which ended up destroyed. George Washington's were

apparently extensively mutilated by rats.

Most of William Henry Harrison succumbed to flames when his log cabin burned

down. And Chester Arthur's son had most of his father's papers burned in three

garbage cans. And if you automatically knew Chester Arthur was the 21st

president and not the name of a snack food character, congratulations, you are

our exact audience.

The point is, after FDR, presidents began gifting their records to the

government to be housed in libraries. And that is a good thing.

Among other reasons, it is why we have this incredible audio of LBJ calling the

head of the company that made his trousers with a custom request.

The crotch down where your nuts hang is always a little too tight.

So when you make them up, give me an inch that I can let out there because

cut me.

It's just like riding a wire fence.

Let's see if you can't believe me about an inch from where the zipper ends down

under my...

Back to my bunghole.

That is just excellent.

We've played that clip before on this show, and we will play it again.

Not only does he burp in the middle of the call like a man whose nuts haven't

breathed in years, but every time I hear it, I'm forced to wonder just how big

were LBJ's balls?

I mean, just in terms of fruit, are we talking plums or pomelos?

Kiwis or mangoes?

Clementines or big honking navel oranges?

If I could go back in time and ask LBJ one question, it would be, did you put

out the hit on JFK? But if I could ask two, I'd say, if we're measuring

circumference, do we need inches or do we need feet?

Now, initially, the handover of records was voluntary. But after Nixon tried to

ensure access to audio tapes from his presidency would be limited to himself

laid plans that they'd be destroyed at some point, Congress made it mandatory,

codifying into law that presidential records belong to the public and are to

turned over at the end of their term to be controlled by the National Archives

and Records Administration, or NARA. And it is then the library archivist's job

to catalogue everything, which is no small feat.

Because records doesn't just mean papers and emails. It can mean all kinds of

shit. As a Clinton Library employee explains.

You can find fine art in a box. You can open up a box and find head of state

gifts that are a thousand years old. You can find just about anything when you

open up a box. It's sort of like every day is Christmas.

Many of the gifts were sent to President Clinton by the public, including a

statue of American basketball star Michael Jordan.

This is something that someone thought the president would like to have and

it off to the White House.

Yeah, someone thought President Clinton would like to have that statue of

Michael Jordan, a sculptural rendering of his airness soaring over, I want to

say, the charred remains of his enemies.

And you know what? Congrats to that person. Their gift ended up in a place

honour, specifically in an industrial -sized file cabinet being lightly groped

by a woman with the most archival librarian energy I've ever seen in my

present company excepted.

But again, the archives are just one part of a presidential library. Most of

physical structure is a museum dedicated to that president's life and history.

If you have been to one, that is probably what you walked through.

But it's worth understanding how both halves, the archives and the museum,

interact and how they came to be set up in the first place. And the first thing

to understand is that these buildings aren't publicly funded.

In fact, here's Jimmy Carter at the dedication ceremony for George H .W.

library describing how it works.

As many of you may not know, all the funds that are invested in

presidential libraries, none of it comes from the federal government.

We have to raise the money and then turn over the library to the federal

government. He's right. If a president wants a library, and they all do.

They have to raise the money themselves. It's one of the many quirks of being a

president, alongside the fact that if the first lady dies in office, you have

remarry the White House Easter Bunny. That is true.

It is in the Constitution.

So to pay for their libraries, presidents have traditionally created

foundations that raise money from a variety of sources.

Build and equip the libraries?

and then eventually donate them to the government, either through deed or

Now, once that happens, by and large, the federal government pays to run them,

and federal employees operate them. And that is not cheap, by the way. The

government spends around $100 million a year operating, maintaining, and

improving these libraries, whether that's repair work to a building's

or, in the case of the LBJ museum in Texas, something a little more intimate.

Though it is in an area now closed to visitors, the animatronic LBJ still

Everyone loves the animatronic LBJ. Everyone can relate to it. People enjoy

humor. In the next few days, though, the half -fascinating, half -creepy LBJ

will be taken apart and moved.

Step one, it's just a matter of taking his clothes off.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what are you doing?

do that in front of us, no one needs to see an animatronic LBJ stripped down to

his softball -sized nuts and bunghole.

Rest in peace, LBJ, you'd have crushed on OnlyFans.

But this weird public -private partnership where the library gets built

president and his foundation, then operated by the government, means that

line between shrine and official archive can get unhelpfully blurry.

Especially because those foundations are often run by the president's family and

friends, who often then help to personally curate the exhibit and what

means is on the museum side of things especially when a library first opens

Exhibits can be extremely one -sided. Take the Reagan Library, which has been

called a Graceland for Conservatives. It features everything from an actual

plane that served as Air Force One, to a section of the Berlin Wall, to an Irish

pub the Reagans once visited, which was purchased by the Reagan Foundation and

recreated as a place to sell snacks, complete with a bottle, glasses, and

of the bar the Reagans once touched under reliquary -like glass. And look,

not surprised that the actor president turned his life... into What If Planet

Hollywood, but with more Gorbachev.

But Ronnie R and his sidekick wife touch this piece of wood while having a beer

and ignoring AIDS feels a bit much to me.

But the thing is, when it comes to one of the biggest scandals of Reagan's

presidency, Iran -Contra, when the museum first opened and for years

it didn't mention it at all.

And that is not a one -off. On the day that Clinton's library opened, it became

clear... There were some pretty significant editorial choices made.

For all the President Clinton fans who braved the weather today, he certainly

has his critics, and they complain the new library gives little attention to

impeachment scandal that dominated Clinton's second term.

Inside the museum, just one alcove deals with impeachment and characterizes it

as a struggle for power.

Most of the building is filled with pictures and memorabilia from more

accomplished and happier times.

Yeah, that makes sense, doesn't it? If you asked any rando on the street to

something that defines Clinton's presidency, they'd say, ooh, probably

That guy loved baseballs to a genuine fault. If I remember, his love of

almost derailed his presidency.

Now, that pattern continued with George W. Bush's.

Museum, where a historian pointed out that a display about the Iraq War boldly

claims no stockpiles of weapons of mass destruction are found, although Iraq's

WMD -related program activities are still a threat, which is a big old swing

take. At that point, you'd almost be better off just having the whole Iraq

section be a giant sign reading, Oops!

At least that would be historically honest.

But perhaps the most extreme case of whitewashing was at Nixon's library,

initially opened without a partnership with the National Archives.

When the library first opened, it taught visitors that Watergate was a coup

orchestrated by the media and democratic elite, that the enemy's list was the

product of a rogue presidential staffer, and that Nixon didn't do anything his

predecessors hadn't done except get caught.

And just set aside how ahistorical that is. Why would you want that to be your

legacy? Yeah.

Yeah, I was a criminal, but so was everyone else. It's just that I was also

embarrassingly bad at it.

Now, I should say, the Nixon Library did eventually get folded into the National

Archives, and their Watergate exhibit is now more accurate. Though, if also

worth pointing out, the Nixon Foundation apparently tried to pressure the

National Archives to fire the library director before he could finish updating

that exhibit.

And the fact...

Presidents can exert a heavy influence over exhibits. It's so well known that

the former director of the Herbert Hoover Library had a pretty grim piece

advice if you are planning to visit any presidential library.

People generally go, though, initially to the library as soon as it's opened

then don't return again. I tell people, wait 25 years, if you've got 25 years.

That is both a little depressing and also might be the worst advertising

campaign I have ever heard. This will get good in 25 years is not what you say

to promote a business. If anything, it's what you say to reassure brand new

parents. Look, just give it 25 years, then it does get kind of fun.

But he is right. Presidential libraries do tend to evolve over time. FDR has

worked to update their message on the Holocaust, describing his slowness to

admit Jewish refugees until late in the war and reckoning with the internment of

Japanese Americans. And Truman underwent a huge update and now encourages people

to engage in a debate over the question, if you were President Truman in 1945,

would you have dropped the bomb? Which is a fun little discussion.

for a family to have together, and likely to result in a pretty awkward

home after dad admits he'd have dropped more and bigger bombs.

So that is the museum half of the libraries. But remember, there's also

archive side.

And while it is supposed to be separate, ex -presidents can exert a surprising

amount of control there too, because their foundations get to consult on the

library's first director, and can effectively veto anyone that they don't

And that person also gets to oversee the archive site, which is a big deal.

Because by law, all of the documents from a presidency are supposed to be

requestable by the public five years after their term ends. But as a

matter, that's basically impossible for them to do. Funding for the National

Archives has remained stagnant for the last 30 years, which, as this archivist

explains, has led to an enormous backlog.

When that five -year window hits, almost immediately we have a backlog of

thousands of FOIA requests that we can't possibly respond to within the 10 days

under the Freedom of Information Act.

Yeah, he's right, and he's actually massively understating things there.

when it comes to Reagan, Bush, and Clinton's record, the government

2007 that they wouldn't be fully open and accessible for 100 years.

At that point, no one is going to have time to analyse Reagan's papers.

We'll all be too busy dealing with the fallout of World War IV, presumably

launched by President Beast. Although, don't worry, don't worry, the video of

him launching the nukes did do numbers, so it's not all bad news.

And those massive backlogs mean that the library director has a huge amount of

power when it comes to the order in which documents get reviewed to be

They can choose to front -load the subjects that make a president look good

delay the ones that are less flattering. And before any get released, the former

president gets notified and has the chance to object, which is a lot of

Because if you told me everything on your laptop... is going to be released

the next hundred years. And you get to decide the order. I'm going to release

the scripts from this show first, and my erotic Wallace and Gromit fanfiction

long after I am fucking dead.

So look, it is pretty clear.

When it comes to their libraries, presidents get to heavily thumb the

history, both in terms of the exhibits you can see and the documents that you

can't. But there is one more big issue here, because remember, as Carter

mentioned, presidents are generally the ones raising money for these buildings,

and it is not a small amount either.

Over time, libraries have gotten significantly more expensive.

FDRs cost about $5 million in today's dollars. Clinton's cost $165 million.

George W. Bush's cost $327 million. And the upcoming Obama Presidential Center

in Chicago is estimated at around $830 million.

And I do hope at least part of that money has gone to acquiring the rights

the single best 10 seconds of TV I have ever seen.

Barack Obama.

It will almost be an honor to kill you.

Yep.

Yep. That is a psychic gorilla who goes back in time to try and kill a young

Barack Obama.

It is a scene from Legends of Tomorrow, and I would argue that Obama's

presidential library would be incomplete without it.

And the thing about fundraising for these libraries here, there are

rules around it. To be fair, there is one rule.

Registered lobbyists have to disclose donations over $200.

But that is the end of the rules.

And that throws the door wide open for corruption, because while still in

office, presidents can solicit unlimited Library Foundation donations from

absolutely anybody on earth, including foreign nationals, individuals seeking

presidential pardons, and corporations with federal contracts. And this

clearly... incentivizes the president to fundraise while in office, since that

is when they have the most political cachet. And since most presidential

foundations enjoy tax -exempt status, it's also a pretty compelling offer for

donors, all of which opens up a host of problems, up to and including

accusations of bribery.

This has been an issue for decades now. Bill Clinton caught a lot of heat at the

end of his presidency after he did this.

Among his last acts, he pardoned billionaire fugitive Mark Rich.

A man who never stood trial is now cleared for crimes that could have meant

years in prison.

That's Rich's ex -wife Denise hugging and kissing the Clintons. She's a New

socialite who's donated more than a million dollars to Democrats.

Thank you, Denise.

Thank you for everything you've done to make it possible for Hillary and me to

serve. OK, thanks to Denise aside, can we just talk for a second about this

fucking photo?

This man looks like the godfather concept art.

I've never been more certain in my life that someone was undeserving of a

presidential pardon than in the three human seconds that photo was on screen.

And the details in that case are pretty damning. Mark Rich had fled to

Switzerland 17 years before after he was indicted on more than 50 counts of wire

fraud, racketeering, trading with Iran during an embargo, and evading more than

$48 million in income taxes. And let me reiterate, he fled.

This man was a fugitive. He wasn't in the US fighting to clear his name. He

noped the fuck out of the country.

But Clinton pardoned him, which, as many pointed out at the time, came hot on

the heels of a $450 ,000 donation from Denise to, guess what, the Clinton

Library Foundation. And look, I am not saying that the runaway billionaire

funnelled bribe money through his ex -wife to the Clintons in exchange for

immunity. I am not saying that.

What I am saying is...

If someone were to do that, what do you think that individual would look like?

And would they look something like this? I am just asking questions.

Now, I should say, not every president has done this. To his credit, Obama

eschewed directly soliciting library donations while in office and

disclosed donations that he received. But he didn't have to do that.

And that is kind of the problem here, because all of this brings us back to

Donald Trump.

who is now set to amplify every single problem that I've described so far.

Because presidential libraries seem almost designed to exploit his every

personal failing, from his tendency to obfuscate his wrongdoing, to his desire

to build expensive monuments to himself, to a set of ethical guidelines based

more in norms than law. Because the fact is...

As things stand right now, someone could walk up to Trump today with a $15

million check, hand it to him while saying, we love the work that you are

and hope that you'll consider helping us out with that little problem that we

were discussing earlier.

And as long as that check said, pay to the order of the Donald J. Trump

Presidential Library Foundation, it would be completely legal. Though, don't

worry, what soulless, ethically bankrupt, arse -kissing corporation

think of doing something like that?

Please? Stay the fuck away from us. You are not my real business, daddy, and you

never will be.

And the legal settlements that we know about are bad enough, but that's just

beginning of the money involved here.

Funds left over from the $239 million raised by the Trump -Vance inaugural

committee, including millions from tech companies and CEOs, are also expected to

be redirected to Trump's library.

And that's not even getting into the $400 million plane.

given to Trump by Qatar, which is also slated to be transferred to the Trump

Library shortly before he leaves office. And that gift is being flown directly

through the library loophole.

The Constitution prohibits anyone holding federal office from accepting a

personal gift from a foreign head of state.

But sources say Attorney General Pam Bondi has concluded that this gift is,

quote, legally permissible because the plane is not being given to an

individual, but rather to the U .S. Air Force and then to Donald Trump's

foundation.

Oh, come on. We all know what is going to happen here. He's going to use that

plane while in office, and then instead of leaving it for the next president to

use, he's going to keep it for his library and suddenly discover he has a

library -related business to do all over the world.

It's just completely inevitable.

Kind of like how after Trump leaves office, Pete Hegseth will get his own

News show, Caroline Levitt will go on Dancing With The Stars and get voted off

after two weeks.

And Stephen Miller will return to the cocoon that he emerged from.

We all know these things are going to happen.

And while technically Trump doing that could be perceived as legally dicey, the

main enforcement body for all of this would be the IRS, which the Trump

administration has been gutting to a shell of its former self. So I would say

the odds of him getting away with it look pretty high.

And it does seem notable that Trump was given a $400 million plane by Qatar and

then just this week, out of absolutely nowhere, he issued an EO declaring that

any attack on Qatar would be treated as a threat to US security. And look, I am

not saying the US military should be for sale, but it sure feels like Qatar just

bought it awfully cheap.

In fact, I would say the same thing to Trump that I once said about Kim

Kardashian turning up for a shaman toilet paper event.

They simply didn't pay you enough to do as much as you are doing for them right

now.

The point here is our whole private public setup for presidential libraries

resulted in a bunch of shrine -like buildings the president can raise money

from basically any source with the vast majority of donations undisclosed. And

as usual, Trump, simply by being himself, has very effectively shined a

light on all these cracks.

So, what should we do? Well, for starters...

we should make donations to presidential libraries far more transparent, and

soliciting them while in office should be outlawed altogether.

Multiple bills have tried to do some version of that over the years, but

all gone absolutely nowhere, and frankly, I don't think that this guy is

to be signing one any time soon.

As for the National Archives, they should be getting funded to an

level so they can reduce that 100 -year backlog and actually do the important

job that they're supposed to. Because who knows how many more recordings at

bunghole level we could be missing out on.

But honestly, maybe the main thing here is to let go of the idea that these

giant shrines are remotely necessary or that they're accurate representations...

and try to decouple their celebrity function from their archival one.

And that link's actually been wobbling for a while now. A few years ago, the

federal government actually handed all control of the George W. Bush Museum

to its private foundation. So the government still runs the archives, the

important part.

When it comes to the museum, there are no federal workers lending legitimacy to

its whitewashed version of history. Meanwhile, Obama declined to build an

archive at his future presidential center at all, instead opting to

his unclassified paper records. That means that his grand monument to himself

will be entirely privately run. And while I know this sounds weird, maybe

a good thing.

But the key thing is, next time you visit a presidential library, and

one of the newer ones, You should go in there knowing that they are not

necessarily telling the story of that president from a historical lens, but

a personal one.

And going forward, whenever you hear reports that an organisation, news

or foreign country is giving money to a presidential library, and I think that

you're going to be hearing about that a lot over the next three years, know that

it is at best a personal gift, and at worst an active bribe. And while clearly

none of this is ideal, I guess, As long as this is how the system is operating,

then if you can't beat them, you should probably join them. So given that,

please follow me.

Because after researching this story, we suddenly found ourselves motivated to

donate something of real value to any presidential library or foundation

interested in taking it.

Specifically, what we'd like to offer is this.

It is, from our own guesstimates,

A life -size rendering of LBJ's balls. And any presidential library is now

welcome to take these balls as a symbol of the massive ego it takes to build one

of these libraries in the first place. The only catch is, in the grand

of these buildings engaging in quid pro quos, we would expect something in

return. Now, obviously, these testicles make the most sense in LBJ's library. In

return, we'd be interested in taking your animatronic statue.

But we're also open to negotiation with other foundations, too. Just make us an

offer, whether it's the horse statue from the Reagan Library, or if the Trump

Foundation is so inclined, a full blanket pardon for me personally.

That is apparently something I'm allowed to suggest. The point is, we are open

to any and all trade, so please do get in touch. That is our show. Thank you so

much for watching us. We'll see you next week. Good night!

What's about the bulls?