Original subtitles

Able to exist, to sense, to feel everything but pleasure.

In a world destroyed, a mutant universe, survivors break down to those who can

and those who can't.

99 % are sex negatives.

Call them erotic casualties.

They want to make love, but the mere touch of another makes them violently

The rest, the lucky 1%, are sex positive.

Those whose libidos escaped unscathed.

After the nuclear kiss, the positives remain to love, to perform.

And the others, well, we negatives can only watch, can only come

to Cafe Flesh.

Good evening, mutants and mutettes, and welcome to Cafe Flesh.

The club where post -new cuties do it nightly for guys and gals who want to go

all the way but just don't have the equipment.

You don't have to be ashamed. There's nothing wrong with just watching. We got

the act and you got the jack. Hey, what the heck, folks? This is art. This is

entertainment. This is the best crack and whimper you're going to get in your

condition. So drink up and tip big. The show's hot.

The liquor's not. And me, I'm your humble guide for the night.

I just love sex negatives.

I love those little tears of hunger in your eyes.

That's my nectar.

Could anything be sweeter than desire in chains?

Trust me, folks, I know what you want, and I know what it feels like when you

don't get it.

Need is my...

fix, ladies and gentlemen.

Max,

no. So go ahead and remember what it was like to lust.

Recapture the smack of flesh on flesh. That private ooze and lucky

spasm. The panic in the loins that tells you yes, yes, yes,

yes, yes.

Ooh, and tonight, folks, we're going to take it all back before your very eyes.

Cafe Flesh is going to take you back to the old days.

And we're going to start off with a tableau of desire in decline.

The Honorable Mr.

and Mrs.

Sane. A normal couple. Dad works. Mom has her hands full with the kids. Sure,

it's tough, but this is love, folks. Goes with the territory.

Max knows.

So watch.

Remember.

Concentrate. Who can say our humble spectacle might just be able to make

Amen.

Okay.

again. It's my only vice.

I'm fortunate.

I don't think I can handle another night of that.

You say that every night.

Indulge me, huh?

Frustration is a full -time job.

Keep wishing, kitty cat.

Anytime.

Nicky doll!

Lana!

Lana!

Where are my kids?

There they are.

He's gorgeous.

Are they negatives, or can they do it?

Negatives. All the best cake is.

Hey, cubbies. Have you heard?

I just signed Johnny Rico.

Mom's is closing the deal now. We're stealing him straight from Cafe Yuba.

Johnny Rico?

I've always wanted to see him.

Oh, my.

Strangle a girl with love.

Big deal.

Rico fucks, will you watch?

What else is new?

Every negative thinks every positive down the pike is Jack Lord.

Come on, Nicky. You mean you wouldn't make love to me if you could?

What do you think?

a party doll, Silky.

Angel here is a survivor from Wyoming for his trip to the big city.

Right, sweet?

I can't believe I'm really in cafe flesh.

I've never even seen a sex positive.

Can they really do it?

Sure, honey. Why don't you grab a flask and join us?

Here comes Maxie, lollipop. Hold tight.

During his Sunday best.

Max, he wants to look nice for all you little peepers.

Hi, little peepers.

How's things out there in the carnal charnel house?

Ah, yes.

Ooh.

Mmm.

Wondrous fragrance out there tonight.

Veritable bouquet.

Max, he didn't know better. He'd swear there was a little new blood in the

house.

Ah, yes.

Oh,

but wait.

Wait. There's Nicky and Lana.

The Dagwood and Blondie of Cafe Flesh.

You all know Nicky, don't you?

He's so refined.

The kind of man who tells everyone he loathes our crude displays.

Then tramples women and children to get a seat up front.

Ignore him, okay, Nicky? All right, little Lulu, can the charm.

The man wants to get vicious, folks.

Deep down, he's just another nice guy who'd slit your juggler to get it up

Just kidding, folks.

It's great to see you, Nick, really. Go play in the fallout.

Let me see now. Where...

The new stuff, that's right.

Ooh, I know there's some fresh flesh out here somewhere.

Ooh, there she is.

Look at the innocence on her.

Now there's something to make Uncle Foamy stand up and tap dance.

What's your name, dream puss?

Should I?

It's just for yucks, pumpkin. Go ahead.

Angel.

deceived me. Angel.

Ooh, that's terrific.

Maxie gives it four stars.

Where you from, Halo?

Well, I'm from Wyoming. Wyoming, huh? Where a man can still be a man if he

doesn't mind sleeping in lead pajamas.

Bet you never been to a place like this before, hey, Angel?

Kind of spooky, huh?

Well, I don't know. Oh, and bright, too. The gal that almost put a sentence

together. Why is it all the cute ones have great fruit IQs, huh?

Ooh, that's okay, Poochie.

You just watch out for Silky there and you'll be all right.

It's always the short ones that want to play grabby -grabby in the moonlight.

You just tell him you'll sick his brother's sneezy and he'll leave you

Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.

You know, back where I come from in Memphis, the only oil we had was the

the boys used to slick back their hair.

But, well, I came through Houston once with the colonel, and, well, those legs

and long horns and, you know, stakes big enough to sleep on. But, well, I got

nothing against Texas crude, just speaking in person. But the kind of

like are the kind a man can feel, if you all know what I'm talking about.

Do you want me to type a memo Do you want me to type a

memo Do

you

want me to type a memo

Do you want me to type a memo?

Do you want me to type a memo?

Do you want to type a memo?

Do you want me to type a memo?

Do you want me to type a memo?

Was that for real? I've heard, but I never knew people really did it. Come

dollface. That ain't the mass prize this sugar daddy's got up his sleeve. Let me

grab you a glass.

God, I only wish...

That looked so good.

Lana, I can't take this.

I gotta act.

Hug me still, freak palsy. We're all strung out.

Okay, Nikki, let's go.

Leaving so soon, friend?

Feeling a little queasy?

Not tonight, Mr. Joy. I'm not in the mood.

Oh, I'm sorry.

The show was a little too good.

A bit too much.

Couldn't quite handle it. Good night, Mr. Joy.

See you tomorrow, friend.

You ain't seen nothing, baby cakes, when you see Rico.

You skip dessert and go straight to heaven.

What's so special about Johnny Rico?

He's packing 10 the hard way.

Rico, caught him in Shite Town playing the Stockyards.

One of the best.

You mean you've seen him?

Sure I've seen him. I've seen all the greats. Saw Maris in 61.

Caught Frankie at Caesars in 60.

Dino was there.

Rat pack days.

Yeah, okay, Bosco. Give Cupcake here another drink. Gal can work up a thirst,

can't she?

Lucky you're in a safety zone. I saw a guy get thirsty once on the outside in a

bowling alley.

Drank straight from the fountain and dropped dead in the gutter.

Mom's asked to go to Sector 17 next week to check out some positives.

She asked me to manage the club. What do you think?

Why not?

Yeah, that's what I thought.

She said I could even choreograph one of the fantasies I want to use.

I thought that milkman number tonight was silly.

I mean, those guys in the baby drag were a bit too much.

Those routines are all the same to me.

Well, what do you think?

Should I take the gig?

You know you love hanging out with positives?

Go ahead.

What's that supposed to mean?

I mean, it's more exciting than hanging out with Jennifer Zero.

Let's not try and kid ourselves, Nick. You know we're both hooked.

Maybe so.

The difference is you're still chasing the rush.

All I can do is pretend. It's a bit late to be macho.

No danger of that.

Nick, you're missing the point. It doesn't play anymore.

So what now? So now you've changed.

Yeah, I know.

But it's not something I can control.

I'd love to be like you.

Go down to the cafe every night and smile my little smile and drink my

drink.

I wish I could deal with what my life has turned into.

And maybe I could handle it.

Maybe I'm not that tough.

I remember when things were different. Memory's a thief, baby.

Cafe flesh is all we have.

Cafe flesh. That's right.

It's entertainment.

Johnny Rico's coming and it's going to be wild.

That's what kills me. And you jump with the sperm counts of fucking Romeo.

If I still had the power, I could make you forget.

You can't.

Why torture ourselves?

It tortures the one thing left I can feel.

ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to Cafe Flash.

I hope you're ready to be thrilled tonight because thrill you is what we do

best. Personally, I'm thrilled to death to be here.

It happens, folks.

Maxie got tickled by a sweet chips who couldn't hold her crying.

Pleasure is a widow maker, brothers.

Just look at Maxie.

I come into the cafe, I've traveled very, very far.

And it was not an easy journey.

Oh, too bad, friend.

Next time, take a greyhound the other way.

Wait.

I've brought something.

The lady in charge.

I've heard she likes birds.

Moms, you've heard right.

Friend.

It's alive.

It speaks.

Welcome.

Can't keep away, eh, friend?

Kind of a habit, isn't it?

Always free for you, Nicky.

You know your mom's favorite boy.

Say, Nicky, you want to be sweet and take this back to mom's for me?

Look, Lana.

One's alive.

Oh, it's adorable.

I'll see you back.

Hey, Nicky, how's my boy?

Fine, Silky, thanks.

How's the angel?

I'm having a swell time.

Mom and Silky are showing me everything.

I'll bet.

Good evening, Nicholas.

Have you been hiding yourself lately, or has the thrill of my company begun to

pall? Never, Mom.

Just my neurosis acting up.

Anyway, here's something Ace told me to give you.

Looks wild.

Oh, what a lovely bird.

I wonder if it performs.

What should we call her? Call her Neutron, just in case she finds.

You're as bad as Max, which reminds me, what is this I hear about our divine MC

tormenting you from the stage?

Is there any truth in that? I want to know. I have that gluttonous sausage.

Believe me, moms, that's the least of my problems. Oh, Nick, you're too sweet to

complain.

But I'll take care of him.

Meanwhile, help me find a place for my new that's a love.

You just seem to get better and better up there. I love watching you.

The feeling's mutual.

What do you mean?

You're the performer.

I watch you when I'm up there.

I fan a song.

You turn me on.

How'd you like to perform with me sometime?

Offstage, we could make love and be tender.

You know that's ridiculous.

I'm a negative.

Oh, yeah?

You don't seem to mind a little caress.

Listen, Chloe, there's nothing I miss more than the feeling of Nick inside me,

holding me and touching me. But I can't.

We'll see.

Civilization's foaming at the mouth again.

Keep it in the cage, Bertha. He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the

pain of being a man.

You don't mind if I get profound, friend?

There's a message here somewhere.

I mean, what's happened to our little world?

Desire is in chains.

Eyes open, lovelies. Two pretty girls at play.

The superpowers in that sweet, mad waltz of mutual deceit.

An island heaven.

But they can't see, people. But the skull in the cage.

The skull in the cage knows that the real bars are always behind the eyes.

Still the sirens whine. Still the pretty lovers wrangle.

Max loves them, folks.

For it is their very ignorance that makes them saintly.

Your need flows.

But they feel nothing.

They feel each other.

Observe.

Max knows the torment of the terminal outsider.

Max has had his own nose pressed against the glass.

But is he bitter? No.

That's your lot, ladies and gentlemen. Your last sad claim to hope and novelty.

But enough!

Let the metaphors roll off your...

Tainted cerebellum.

Need is all you need to know.

Satisfaction guaranteed, my lovelies.

Lie back and part those honeyed thighs.

Bone until what you want to feel is almost in you.

Obliteration is not just the ticket.

It is the destination.

Show's over. Hold the applause, folks. This ain't Vegas.

Okay, folks, don't panic.

Stay in your chairs.

Now, you're all here to have a nice evening.

I know that.

This is just a little interruption.

That's right.

This is a raid.

Hey, Bosco.

So you're the bartender, right?

And you make strengths, right?

And you do good work, and you like your job, and you'd like to keep it, right?

Sure you would.

So you wouldn't mind my asking a couple of questions.

Like, uh, you got a mom's here?

Where is she?

What's happening?

It's just the enforcers flushing out sex positives who aren't performing.

I better go tell mom.

Ain't right, Wyoming gal?

Hometown get a little too small for you?

You know, you look better in the flesh than you did in your eight -by -tens.

And it looks like we got ourselves a positive.

Take her away. Wait a minute. I know her. She's one of us.

Take your hands off that girl!

Sorry, moms.

The thing I like about myself is I'm never wrong.

You're looking at a positive.

Angel, honey, is it true? Of course it's true. Right, Angel? This isn't Wyoming.

This is the real world, Runaway. And you are a positive.

Relax, sweet me. I got connections.

Angel, defend yourself.

Don't hold back. Look at her squirm. Think she's a kitten with a whip.

You know, I've hauled in a thousand like her.

Pack your bags, farm girl, because you're going for a ride.

Silky!

on, kid.

Angel, why were you hiding?

Because.

Because I'm a virgin.

So long, sister.

See you on the other side.

Come on, Silky. We gotta help that girl.

I still can't get over Angel.

The way they just came and grabbed her.

What do you mean?

If she's a positive, it's her duty to perform.

I mean, nobody wanted to be in this world, but now that we're here, we've

play by the rules. Otherwise, it's chaos.

I suppose.

But she looks so scared. Scared?

Lana, you surprise me.

I mean, do you think we have a choice in these matters?

Five years ago, I was... Mildred Smith, a beautician in the suburbs.

Now I'm Mom, the June Taylor of the nuclear set.

I mean, that's just the way things are.

The system breaks down if we don't all do our duty.

You're right. But still, Angel's such a sweet girl.

Maybe she is.

But tell me, doesn't it turn you on?

Thinking how that sweet girl would look, making love before your

very eyes.

I admit it.

Yeah.

The line's closed, Mom. Shall I lock her up?

Okay, Bosco.

It's been a long night.

Oh, Mom, do you mind if I stay behind a while in your office?

I'd like to wait for Nick and Silky to come back.

Sure, baby.

Just close up tight when you go.

Poultry. Good source of protein.

But you gotta clean it first.

You need a license to do that.

Come on, Bosco.

Oh, you missed it, Frigsy. Remember that cute twist angel?

Last night they came and got her.

Enforcers hauled her off for holding out on the honey. Sex positive, huh? I

thought she looked a little juiced. Virgin stuff from what I hear.

Delish. Two scoops and an extra cherry.

Say, kids, whatever happened last night with the enforcers, did they get the

angel? Don't ask.

I'm burning up. I'm frying.

Careful of that flesh. You gotta spray it, me.

I just saw Johnny Rico.

The cat's flaming all the way. He's on his way.

You saw Johnny?

What's he like?

Is he big? Is he big? Are you kidding me, bitch? You got to ask. I got a honey

hole in that thing around.

I've been hot -balling down the course. That's all everyone's talking about.

People are dying out there. I shot me with my limbo stick. I want to see if

jackrabbit can hop. When's he coming?

I'm not his agent, bitch. Goddamn. I'm a rocket idiot. Drive me, daddy. My

eyeballs are scorched. I got a heat rash. Where's the stage?

Point me to the bar.

Kill it, bub.

I could buy and sell Rico.

Stop me if I'm wrong. There's magic in the air tonight.

Strange attractions.

Why long?

Feeling jittery?

Exposed? Don't panic.

Max knows.

There's no need to be demure.

Be positive.

Enjoy yourself.

What are you driving at, Max?

Hey, man.

Yeah, I don't know what you're talking about.

Why don't you just make yourself clear, baby?

You know, I'm just up here doing my gig, man.

You know?

Hey, come on.

I'm telling you, Max, you're going to go places, kid.

And you know why?

Because I like you, that's why.

It's a cinch.

Da,

visit the Kremlin.

What do you mean you push wrong button?

No, we don't accept apology.

We retaliate.

Oh.

Wow.

Not exactly an amateur, huh?

She looked like she loved it.

When you're a positive, nobody has to teach you. You just know.

What was Max getting at anyway?

I mean, what's with this be positive thing?

He's just jealous of what we've got.

Did you guys see me? Was I good?

I don't know why I've been holding back for so long. I mean, sex is great. That

feeling. I can't wait to do it with a woman, with another man. I want to do it

all the time.

Gee, guys, I'm sorry.

I know you can't do it, but really, making love is terrific.

Believe me, Angel, we remember.

Yeah, that's right.

It's okay.

Oh, Lana, I really want to know if I'm a regular. I want to go back and talk to

moms, but I'm afraid. Would you come with me, please? Would you come? Of

Bosco, I need some relief.

Relief? Sure.

I've been on relief.

Got out of the Seabees in 57.

Spent five years as a ping jockey. Could have made a man out of me.

Want to chase her with that?

Yeah, you got a razor blade?

Nah, I never shaved.

Collected animals, though.

Had a hamster once. I named her Ruth.

The bugger bit me on the thumb and it swallowed like a peach.

I had to dump her. Made the thing a little sweater and put ball bearings in

pockets. Where I come from, they call it a Chicago overcoat.

What's the matter, handsome?

Got some problems you can't handle?

I bet he wonders where his mommy is.

You don't have to worry.

He's in good hands.

I know Max you've been getting on my nerve.

Sick him, baby doll.

Before the nukes, I was a two -bit yuck -huster bombing the Borscht Belt.

For ten years, fucking squares like you kept me on the bottom.

But now I'm on top, buddy boy.

And don't you ever forget it.

Now it's my turn to stare into your face and laugh.

Maximilian.

Maximilian, I believe I've talked to you about this before.

You're in serious trouble now.

You know what's next.

Hey, come on, moms. Don't make me play weddings, huh? No more jokes,

We want the poem.

Recite the poem.

Come on, what are you getting so excited about? I'm just having a little fun.

Don't make me ask you again.

Listen to me. All my friends are here. I'm not reciting nothing.

You want to go in your office? We'll talk about this. You want to keep an

I'll walk, okay?

Heel.

Uh -uh. I'm not going to do it.

Forget about it, okay? We'll go into your office and we can talk about this,

know. Heel!

Man to man.

I'm not going to do it. Forget it.

Not pretty.

Heel!

I'm little Maxie.

The star of the show.

But under my boxers, nothing will grow.

There's posies and neggies.

But I'm in between.

Because I lost my weapon.

Looks like the young Mitchum. He really does exist.

Finally, I've got him in my club.

First Brock, then Tab, then Fave, and now... I

ask you people, does Silky deliver or does Silky deliver?

Me.

Hey, Lana.

Lana!

Uh -oh.

Press the panic button. Trouble in paradise.

You know, I'm starting to bore myself.

All I can think about is this Rico thing.

I mean, I know Lana's trying not to show it, but she's gone nuts over the gas.

For Christ's sake, Nick.

Man, you used to be lightning around this scene.

Why are you strictly the plague?

Hey, buck up, big boy.

Ain't a smoothie around that ain't checked in the Hot Break Hotel sometime.

Come on, Spike. You know Lana's acting funny.

All she can think about is this Rico character.

I feel like a third thumb.

Hey, look.

This ain't something I like to bring up.

How do you think I feel, man?

I mean, Christ, I'm sitting here doing a double flip over Little Angel.

With this mug.

Ain't no use sending roses.

Believe me, I tried.

Don't start that with me, man. For my money, you can drop all that jive when

come over to my place. I don't care if those twists out of the cafe can't deal

with it. All right.

We're not here to talk about my problems, huh?

The thing is, it's getting worse.

I got this fat chump, Max, on my case.

And now Moms is defending me like I can't protect myself.

If that's not enough, Rico rolls in and Lana starts acting like some gidget that

needs a cold shower to calm down.

Let's step back a little, huh?

Where is Lana now? You want to know where she is? I'll tell you. She's down

the cafe clearing up for the Rico show tonight.

You'd think it was a junior prom.

Ben, you need to calm down.

Huh? Just calm down.

Hey, Nick. Hi, Spike. What are you guys up to?

Not much.

How are you, doll?

Oh, I'm tired.

I've been at the cafe all day.

Everybody's so jacked up about Johnny Rico.

He dropped by this morning to take a look around.

He actually smiled at me. I could have died.

Why didn't you?

Come on, Nick. He's so famous.

You gonna be at the show tonight, Nick?

Sure, Spike.

Wouldn't miss it for the world.

Well, Kind of exciting, huh?

Hey, not too pathetic that the biggest night of your life is watching some

strange palooka get his hogwash by some bimbo you don't even know.

Just kidding, folks.

This Rico is really quite a specimen.

I don't want to say he's hung, but he's the only guy I know whose skivvies need

valet parking.

This joint's more crowded than a ball game.

All right, neggies, all right. I know you don't want to look at my gorgeous

but I got a message for you.

When you see Rico, please. Mom's told me to tell you she don't want no

screaming. The plaster's weak.

So this is the end of the line, huh, folks?

The bitter, terrific end.

Am I right, Lana?

Who can tell what a real man can bring out in a crowd?

A real woman, perhaps?

We'll just have to wait and see.

You know you want it.

I know your little secret.

Look at him, Lana.

All that manhood could be yours.

Meaning so soon?