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{\an8}Good evening and
welcome to Worm News.
2
00:00:10,802 --> 00:00:12,303
{\an8}I'm your host, William Worm.
3
00:00:12,304 --> 00:00:14,180
{\an8}Yes, and I'm Wendy Worm.
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00:00:14,181 --> 00:00:16,474
{\an8}Yes, we know.
First up, an election update.
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00:00:16,475 --> 00:00:18,684
{\an8}Squiggly Miggly narrowly
clenched the nomination today,
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00:00:18,685 --> 00:00:19,727
{\an8}making him the
main rival to the
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{\an8}highly unpopular
President Jimble.
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00:00:25,901 --> 00:00:28,131
Squiggly Miggly's
definitely going to win.
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00:00:28,236 --> 00:00:29,796
President Jimble has no chance.
10
00:00:29,797 --> 00:00:31,405
You never know, Allan.
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00:00:31,406 --> 00:00:33,074
After all,
President Ross Perot won
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00:00:33,075 --> 00:00:35,410
re-election in
1996 in a major upset.
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00:00:35,891 --> 00:00:37,329
Oh, you're so right, Pim.
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I forgot about that factoid.
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Who are you
going to vote for, Charlie?
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I don't vote.
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OK, I'll tell you why
right now, Pim.
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Listen up very carefully.
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Little guys like you and me
we're called peons in this world
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and we don't decide
who the President is.
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Come on, Charlie. That's silly.
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Every single vote matters.
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Look, I'm just not interested in
getting involved in politics,
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Okay? Sorry.
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00:00:56,181 --> 00:00:57,556
Hey, boys,
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guess who just got a call to
make the President smile?
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The President will see you now.
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We do need corn,
you dumb motherfucker!
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Send bombs, not corn, BOMBS!
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I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I, uh...
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You suck!
You're bad at what you do!
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Quit Motherfucker!
QUIT!
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Good to speak to you, too.
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Thank you. You're terrific.
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Oh, oh, hi.
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Are you two here to bring
me my napkins?
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No.
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Okay, let me just buzz in some nap-
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napkins.
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Mr. President, we're the
Smiling Friends.
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Oh, you's are the
two... two's I called.
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I don't know if you heard,
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but I was the Vice
President to, uh...
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President Pinhead.
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He died last month from a
bad shrimp,
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and I became
the President.
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Yeah, we know.
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It was literally
the bad shrimp.
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Tragedy.
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But now I'm friggin' miserable
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since I became the President.
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All these trolls keep
hating me,
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and I don't...
I don't know why.
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Dude, no offence or anything,
but have you ever thought
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that maybe you should not
be President
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and maybe you
should, like, I don't know,
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go lay on a beach or
something instead and chill out?
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I can't.
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00:02:09,713 --> 00:02:12,423
This upcoming election
is by one chance...
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to prove I'm not a fluke.
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I want to win something
for once in my life
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so people will finally like me.
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President Jimble,
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it doesn't matter how
you got this job.
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What matters now is that you're
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the one sitting behind
that beautiful brown desk,
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and I believe
that's destiny.
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Plenty of Presidents
were unpopular until
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they found out they
were good at one specific thing.
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We just need to find out
what your thing is,
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and you'll definitely
beat Squiggly Miggly.
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Yeah.
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You're sayin', I can be
the lamb president.
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No, I mean, like, policy,
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like, presidential stuff.
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What?
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Um, anyway, luckily
it's just a two-man race,
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so it shouldn't be
too complicated.
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Uh, guys,
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I don't know about that.
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It's no secret that
President Jimble's America
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is poor, angry and divided.
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That's why Mr.Frog
is running for President.
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America needs his
calm and steady
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leadership to build
a safer America.
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A prosperous America,
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a stronger America.
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Vote for Mr.Frog,
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and together we can build...
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Mr.Frog's America.
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Hello, I'm Mr.Frog
and I approve this message.
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No, I don't. I hate you.
Fuck you.
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Pim, That was amazing.
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I just got goose pimples
from watching that.
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Charlie, don't look at that.
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Sir, have you ever tried giving
a rousing speech
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and inspiring the people?
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Maybe it's your hidden talent.
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I feel nauseous.
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00:03:25,304 --> 00:03:26,914
Nah, it's just your
nerves talking, man.
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You'll be fine.
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Hello, Transylvania!
I know most of you don't like me,
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but I'm here to show you
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I can talk good
and give a good speech.
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Oh. Excuse me.
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I think that lamb
I had earlier was rotten.
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President Jimble. Suck!
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You suc-
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Okay, perfect.
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That adult diaper should
help with any
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unfortunate accidents while
you're, ah, feeling unwell.
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Can we stop and
get more lamb for lunch?
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No, no more lamb.
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Pim, did you see Mr.Frog just
announced his plan
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to fix the economy?
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Man, he is good.
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Grr, I'll show that
toad bastard
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an ergonomic plan!
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Hello, America.
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I'm going to be the
money president.
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Each and every one of you
are going to get
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one billion dollars each
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so you can all be rich.
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Whoa, whoa, whoa.
What are you doing?
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You can't do that.
You'll crash the economy.
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00:04:19,305 --> 00:04:21,085
Oh, sorry. I didn't mean
to do that.
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Everybody's going to
have to give
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00:04:22,429 --> 00:04:24,359
back all that money
to the government.
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By the way, sorry about
those loud noises.
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That was just my diaper.
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I don't want to have another
accident from the bad lamb.
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All better.
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Dude, check the news.
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It doesn't matter what channel.
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Am I winning yet?
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No, no, not at all, man.
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You shit your pants and
crashed the economy
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within the same day.
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00:04:47,662 --> 00:04:49,412
What are you
talking about, dude?
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Look, the one thing
you've still got over
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Mr.Frog is is that
you're actually in office.
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00:04:52,930 --> 00:04:54,335
If we can just
get you this one easy
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foreign policy win,
we can make a comeback.
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I'm feeling sick again.
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Oh, my God, dude!
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Just get through it quickly.
You'll be ...
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Guys, I did it. I did it.
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I didn't get sick from
the soured lamb.
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You... you were supposed
to condemn him.
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00:05:24,950 --> 00:05:26,000
What?
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00:05:26,001 --> 00:05:28,447
You just emboldened
a war criminal dictator.
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00:05:28,448 --> 00:05:29,870
Dude, I don't know anything
about politics,
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00:05:29,871 --> 00:05:30,921
even I know he's bad.
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He wiped a whole
fucking race of
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people off the
face of the planet.
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Maybe it will be all right.
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All right, so it looks like
you're projected to
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lose every single state
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in what could be a
historic landslide for Mr.Frog.
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00:05:47,292 --> 00:05:49,162
But we still have
the debate, I guess.
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De-bate.
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Haha. Debate.
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If you think about it,
that's a funny word.
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De-bate.
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Thank you.
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Pim, I can't do this anymore.
I'm done.
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I'm bailing.
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All right.
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Who was that guy?
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00:06:04,406 --> 00:06:05,614
What?
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Ugh, maybe we shouldn't even do
the debate.
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Look, I know my brain
don't work no good sometimes,
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but what about all
that stuff you told me?
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I promise I'll get out there
and try my hardest this time.
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Yeah, you're right.
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No, I'm left.
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Left-handed.
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Man, this place is a labyrinth.
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How the hell
do I get out of here?
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Oh, I'm sorry. I'm just trying
to find my way out of here.
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That's okay.
We're just an all-powerful
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secret society that
you shouldn't know about.
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00:06:35,243 --> 00:06:38,564
We're just implementing our
insane secret plan to elect Mr.Frog
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through mass
media manipulation.
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I knew it. I knew
the voters didn't
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actually pick the president.
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Yes, and now that you
know our plan,
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we're going to cover
you in dirt
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and slowly devour you
because we're worms!
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00:06:48,617 --> 00:06:50,534
No, I'm actually cool with
your guy's plan,
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the current guy's
a bonehead.
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Oh, really? Cool.
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00:06:53,455 --> 00:06:55,873
Yeah, Mr.Frog's chaos is
exactly what we need to
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expand our power. Join us.
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00:06:57,751 --> 00:07:00,711
Sorry, I can't betray my friend.
He's helping President Jimble.
196
00:07:00,712 --> 00:07:03,213
But I really am a big
fan of Mr.Frog, like a huge fan.
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00:07:03,214 --> 00:07:04,798
I love when he eats the
bug on the show.
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00:07:04,799 --> 00:07:06,633
He- He does what?
199
00:07:06,634 --> 00:07:07,760
Yeah, you know,
when he grabs the
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00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:09,053
bug on the Mr.Frog
show and eats it,
201
00:07:09,054 --> 00:07:10,262
it's like his whole thing.
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00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:13,266
Oh my God!
Aren't we a type of bug?
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00:07:15,101 --> 00:07:16,894
Wait, stop!
Wait, stop!
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Everyone just stop!
Let's just make sure.
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Do frogs eat worms?
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00:07:24,027 --> 00:07:25,385
Yes, yes they do!
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00:07:25,872 --> 00:07:27,944
- Oh my God.
- That's TOO much chaos!
208
00:07:27,945 --> 00:07:29,948
We're totally going to
support President Jimble now.
209
00:07:29,949 --> 00:07:31,939
He doesn't eat worms,
he only eats lamb.
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00:07:31,962 --> 00:07:34,078
Wait, no, no, no, no, no!
211
00:07:34,079 --> 00:07:34,787
Decisions final.
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00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:35,838
Goodbye.
213
00:07:41,628 --> 00:07:43,504
Good evening. I'm William Worm.
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Before we begin, we have
just received word that
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Squiggly Miggly will not be
attending tonight's debate
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00:07:47,759 --> 00:07:50,769
due to the fact he blew his
head off with a 3D printed shotgun.
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00:07:50,770 --> 00:07:53,180
We want to remind the
audience to please not,
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00:07:53,181 --> 00:07:54,515
ah, talk out loud,
219
00:07:54,516 --> 00:07:55,808
do not applaud.
220
00:07:55,809 --> 00:07:57,268
You're just wasting time.
221
00:07:57,272 --> 00:08:00,306
Now, our first question
tonight goes to Mr.Frog.
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00:08:00,772 --> 00:08:03,357
Mr.Frog, why are you so evil?
223
00:08:03,358 --> 00:08:04,691
You have one second to respond.
224
00:08:04,692 --> 00:08:05,567
Hello, I think-
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00:08:05,568 --> 00:08:06,834
Time's up, plus you're wrong.
226
00:08:06,835 --> 00:08:08,070
The next question is for our
227
00:08:08,071 --> 00:08:10,114
beloved and
highly intelligent president.
228
00:08:10,115 --> 00:08:11,865
Why are you so amazing?
229
00:08:11,866 --> 00:08:13,921
You have unlimited time to
respond.
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00:08:14,755 --> 00:08:16,537
Oh, p-p-presidential...
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00:08:16,538 --> 00:08:18,206
p-p-p-p
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00:08:18,456 --> 00:08:19,624
policy, I-
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00:08:24,462 --> 00:08:25,793
I can't do this.
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00:08:26,464 --> 00:08:29,550
A little pink guy once
told me I needed to
235
00:08:29,551 --> 00:08:31,781
find out what I would
be good at as president.
236
00:08:32,220 --> 00:08:33,638
I've finally figured it out.
237
00:08:34,162 --> 00:08:35,281
I'm the president who
238
00:08:35,282 --> 00:08:36,795
shouldn't have
been the president.
239
00:08:36,796 --> 00:08:37,808
Let's face it, I'm a-
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00:08:37,809 --> 00:08:38,859
retard.
241
00:08:40,523 --> 00:08:43,397
You know, I always
used to want to,
242
00:08:43,398 --> 00:08:45,628
to win the election
and have people like me,
243
00:08:46,595 --> 00:08:47,645
But...
244
00:08:48,288 --> 00:08:50,098
I don't care about
that any more now.
245
00:08:50,099 --> 00:08:52,072
I just want to
be honest, and everyone
246
00:08:52,073 --> 00:08:56,661
that trolled me and
gave me nasty messages.
247
00:08:56,662 --> 00:08:58,579
Fuck you!
248
00:08:58,580 --> 00:08:59,769
Fuck off!
249
00:09:00,248 --> 00:09:01,298
JAG-OFF!
250
00:09:02,625 --> 00:09:03,675
Thank you.
251
00:09:04,961 --> 00:09:06,670
That answer...
252
00:09:06,671 --> 00:09:08,423
was correct!
253
00:09:08,838 --> 00:09:14,745
JIM-BLE! JIM-BLE! JIM-BLE!
JIM-BLE! JIM-BLE! JIM-BLE!
254
00:09:16,473 --> 00:09:18,349
When do the
results start coming in?
255
00:09:18,718 --> 00:09:21,268
Next few minutes.
I got 10 G's says
256
00:09:21,269 --> 00:09:23,770
Jimble's gonna
win, and if he doesn't-
257
00:09:23,771 --> 00:09:25,821
Then I'll take
matters into my own hands.
258
00:09:25,982 --> 00:09:27,692
Ha ha! I'm just kidding!
259
00:09:27,693 --> 00:09:28,692
I'll do it, though.
260
00:09:28,693 --> 00:09:30,225
I'm just playing, dude.
261
00:09:30,361 --> 00:09:31,445
No, I'm serious.
262
00:09:31,446 --> 00:09:33,259
But no, I'll actually do it.
263
00:09:33,260 --> 00:09:36,533
Hey, Pim, sorry about bailing
the other day, man.
264
00:09:36,534 --> 00:09:38,702
I guess I'm not
really cut out for politics.
265
00:09:38,703 --> 00:09:41,371
No, it's fine, Charlie.
Everything ended up working out.
266
00:09:41,372 --> 00:09:43,540
I don't know if President Jimble
is gonna win, but something
267
00:09:43,541 --> 00:09:45,557
about that debate
really turned things around.
268
00:09:45,558 --> 00:09:48,128
Yeah, well, you know, it kind of
reminds me how Shrimpo Jones
269
00:09:48,129 --> 00:09:49,296
won those debates
by surprise
270
00:09:49,297 --> 00:09:51,216
and went onto
landslide in 1980.
271
00:09:51,459 --> 00:09:54,259
Oh, Charlie, look at you
with the political facts now.
272
00:09:54,260 --> 00:09:55,761
Yeah, well, hey,
man, who knows?
273
00:09:55,762 --> 00:09:57,554
Maybe you're the one
that got me into politics.
274
00:09:57,555 --> 00:09:58,889
Oh, okay, good!
275
00:09:58,890 --> 00:09:59,973
Getting political! I see a
new Charlie! Oooo! Ahh!
276
00:09:59,974 --> 00:10:01,226
I've seen you, Charlie!
277
00:10:01,559 --> 00:10:03,353
Ha ha. Ha ha. Ha ha!
278
00:10:03,728 --> 00:10:05,563
Shut up! The
results are coming in.
279
00:10:05,564 --> 00:10:07,368
And now for an election update.
280
00:10:07,369 --> 00:10:09,839
Mr.Frog and President Jimble
are in a virtual tie.
281
00:10:09,840 --> 00:10:11,485
The only state yet
to be called is the state
282
00:10:11,486 --> 00:10:13,776
of Pennsylvania
with its 19 electoral votes.
283
00:10:13,969 --> 00:10:16,936
Whoever takes this state
will be our next president.
284
00:10:16,937 --> 00:10:18,116
Oh, my God!
285
00:10:18,117 --> 00:10:19,617
Jimble could really win this!
286
00:10:19,618 --> 00:10:21,669
Uh, breaking.
We're just getting this now.
287
00:10:21,670 --> 00:10:23,497
Ah, the state of
Pennsylvania has just been
288
00:10:23,498 --> 00:10:26,384
called for Mr.Frog
by one single vote,
289
00:10:26,385 --> 00:10:27,709
making Mr.Frog
290
00:10:27,710 --> 00:10:29,904
the president-elect of
the United States.
291
00:10:29,905 --> 00:10:31,046
Oh, this can't be right.
292
00:10:31,047 --> 00:10:31,755
Don't look at me,
I don't know.
293
00:10:31,756 --> 00:10:32,839
Wait, what?
294
00:10:32,840 --> 00:10:33,966
And we're getting
confirmation now.
295
00:10:33,967 --> 00:10:36,052
the one single vote
was from this guy.
296
00:10:36,053 --> 00:10:37,928
We're putting his name,
face address and
297
00:10:37,929 --> 00:10:41,181
social security number on screen
for our millions of viewers now.
298
00:10:41,182 --> 00:10:42,182
Glep, What the fuck.
299
00:10:42,183 --> 00:10:43,350
Dude? Why?
300
00:10:43,351 --> 00:10:45,436
Well, whatever
I do now is on Glep.
301
00:10:46,062 --> 00:10:47,932
Glep, why would
you vote for Mr.Frog?
302
00:10:48,231 --> 00:10:50,101
Our job was to
help President Jimble.
303
00:10:52,193 --> 00:10:54,194
Oh, okay, yeah. Good point.
304
00:10:54,195 --> 00:10:56,545
That makes sense.
That's fair. Yeah, yeah, okay.
305
00:11:10,823 --> 00:11:12,862
This is the life.
306
00:11:12,863 --> 00:11:17,413
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