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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,781 --> 00:00:07,781 Look at me, right? 2 00:00:07,861 --> 00:00:09,541 And look at the Queen. 3 00:00:09,621 --> 00:00:14,141 I was never a fan until it occurred to me how much me and Ma'am have in common. 4 00:00:14,221 --> 00:00:16,701 Bringing up kiddies you can't remember the names of. 5 00:00:16,780 --> 00:00:20,140 I know she's not a single parent, but she might as well be. 6 00:00:20,221 --> 00:00:24,581 Plus, the pair of us, we've stuck to our guns, her literally sometimes, 7 00:00:24,661 --> 00:00:26,861 and flagshipped a dying breed. 8 00:00:26,940 --> 00:00:29,181 Admired and despised equally. 9 00:00:29,261 --> 00:00:34,621 Not for never lifting a finger, no, for setting examples through extremity. 10 00:00:34,701 --> 00:00:37,421 And whether you're a bigwig on her end or a bigwig on mine, 11 00:00:37,501 --> 00:00:39,501 you've still got all your dickheads in the middle to deal with, 12 00:00:39,580 --> 00:00:41,421 snip, snip, snipping at your benefits. 13 00:00:41,501 --> 00:00:44,220 I mean, she can't not be looking at me and thinking, 14 00:00:44,301 --> 00:00:46,021 "What's your secret, Frank?" 15 00:00:46,101 --> 00:00:49,141 I got shot of my kids' yonks back, 16 00:00:49,220 --> 00:00:51,461 whereas she's yet to see the back of a single one. 17 00:00:51,540 --> 00:00:52,501 Fine! 18 00:00:52,580 --> 00:00:54,821 I've had to get out of bed on occasion to make ends meet, 19 00:00:54,900 --> 00:00:58,061 whereas she, she's done the whole thing from a chair. 20 00:01:00,101 --> 00:01:01,580 Oh, and a drink for the lady. 21 00:01:01,661 --> 00:01:02,980 Oh, sure, there's perks. 22 00:01:03,061 --> 00:01:04,140 But, look at her lot. 23 00:01:04,221 --> 00:01:06,621 Brian May prancing about on her roof. 24 00:01:06,700 --> 00:01:09,101 Now, look at my lot, 25 00:01:09,181 --> 00:01:13,140 we know how to throw a proper fucking pa-a-rty! 26 00:01:18,381 --> 00:01:20,700 [people chattering] 27 00:01:22,021 --> 00:01:25,541 [Billy] If you knew what other people thought of you, 28 00:01:25,621 --> 00:01:26,860 would you behave the same? 29 00:01:28,860 --> 00:01:32,581 The way I see it, there's two versions of yourself. 30 00:01:32,661 --> 00:01:35,261 There's that you that everyone else sees... 31 00:01:35,341 --> 00:01:37,661 you know, what they think of you. 32 00:01:38,901 --> 00:01:39,981 How they see you. 33 00:01:40,060 --> 00:01:41,941 -Wee-oh! -[giggles] 34 00:01:43,901 --> 00:01:48,021 Then there's that you that you see, what you really think about yourself. 35 00:01:48,101 --> 00:01:51,381 It's all about the rights of people, the rights of men, the rights of women, 36 00:01:51,461 --> 00:01:53,901 not just about tarts under horses at the derby. 37 00:01:56,181 --> 00:01:59,420 And sometimes, those two versions, they're really different. 38 00:02:02,101 --> 00:02:03,981 -Twat! -Dickhead! 39 00:02:05,780 --> 00:02:07,060 But sometimes, they're the same. 40 00:02:09,660 --> 00:02:11,901 It's all right being exactly what people think you are 41 00:02:11,981 --> 00:02:15,781 if you're cool, like Rambo or The Terminator, 42 00:02:15,861 --> 00:02:17,540 but who'd want to be Billy Tutton? 43 00:02:18,741 --> 00:02:20,341 No one, that's who. 44 00:02:21,861 --> 00:02:23,741 "No experience required. 45 00:02:23,820 --> 00:02:25,820 Make up to £1,000 per week. 46 00:02:25,901 --> 00:02:27,380 And car included." 47 00:02:27,461 --> 00:02:29,661 -Do you really think I can do it? -No. 48 00:02:29,741 --> 00:02:32,021 [Mimi] Fix it or I'll have your balls. 49 00:02:32,100 --> 00:02:34,421 [Billy] Right. Go on, then. Ask me one of them questions. 50 00:02:34,501 --> 00:02:35,701 What's going on? 51 00:02:35,781 --> 00:02:37,260 [Aidan] William here's sick of being bone idle. 52 00:02:37,341 --> 00:02:39,540 -[whooshes] -Since when? 53 00:02:40,901 --> 00:02:43,861 So, William, what are your strengths and weaknesses? 54 00:02:46,181 --> 00:02:48,621 I've been knocked unconscious maybe seven or eight times, 55 00:02:48,700 --> 00:02:50,301 and I've got no permanent brain injury. 56 00:02:51,700 --> 00:02:53,741 My weaknesses? Er, OK. 57 00:02:54,781 --> 00:02:55,700 [sighs] 58 00:02:55,781 --> 00:02:59,901 I'm not a very quick learner, but when I get it, I've got it. 59 00:02:59,980 --> 00:03:02,380 And not even a crowbar to the skull will make me forget it. 60 00:03:03,421 --> 00:03:05,260 -[chuckles] -What do you think? 61 00:03:05,341 --> 00:03:07,341 I wouldn't build your hopes up. 62 00:03:07,421 --> 00:03:14,181 Besides which, you've already got the most important job in the world, 63 00:03:14,260 --> 00:03:17,540 bringing up little Miss Poo-poo Pants. 64 00:03:17,621 --> 00:03:19,181 Yay! Go to Daddy! 65 00:03:20,420 --> 00:03:22,621 That's more your style, lad. Shit patrol. 66 00:03:24,540 --> 00:03:25,700 [door opens] 67 00:03:27,100 --> 00:03:28,301 [lips flapping] 68 00:03:28,380 --> 00:03:30,260 [imitates gunshot] 69 00:03:30,341 --> 00:03:31,861 [groans] 70 00:03:43,100 --> 00:03:44,621 What happened? 71 00:03:44,700 --> 00:03:46,461 I've got a strong personality. 72 00:03:46,540 --> 00:03:48,100 Kids struggle with that. 73 00:03:48,181 --> 00:03:49,181 Which kids? 74 00:03:50,540 --> 00:03:52,260 I can't help if you won't tell me. 75 00:03:52,341 --> 00:03:53,820 You can't help anyway. 76 00:03:55,901 --> 00:03:57,221 [splash] 77 00:03:57,301 --> 00:03:58,901 There's a case of lager if you can clear that 78 00:03:58,980 --> 00:04:01,260 before the council finds out what we've been dumping. 79 00:04:07,140 --> 00:04:09,021 All right, two cases of lager. 80 00:04:10,140 --> 00:04:11,341 [sighs] 81 00:04:11,420 --> 00:04:13,901 So how would your colleagues describe you? 82 00:04:13,980 --> 00:04:15,221 What? 83 00:04:15,301 --> 00:04:18,021 Oh, oh, right, er, well, 84 00:04:18,100 --> 00:04:20,021 no one really pays much attention to me. 85 00:04:20,100 --> 00:04:21,540 But this sales job would change all that 86 00:04:21,620 --> 00:04:23,461 'cause people respect you if you're good at summat. 87 00:04:24,901 --> 00:04:26,021 What you doing? 88 00:04:26,101 --> 00:04:28,221 That's hanging, bro. 89 00:04:28,301 --> 00:04:29,261 -Now smell it. -No! 90 00:04:29,341 --> 00:04:30,861 -Go on, give him a kiss! -No, man! 91 00:04:32,261 --> 00:04:36,461 Just imagine, people thinking I done all right, my wife looking at me, proud. 92 00:04:49,821 --> 00:04:51,341 Little bastards! 93 00:04:54,261 --> 00:04:56,021 I want to be more than balls-deep in shit. 94 00:05:00,541 --> 00:05:02,060 You peddling hummus? 95 00:05:02,141 --> 00:05:03,861 -[school bell rings] -[sighs] 96 00:05:03,940 --> 00:05:06,461 It's a private matter, Mimi, so. 97 00:05:06,541 --> 00:05:07,781 When you gonna spit it out 98 00:05:07,861 --> 00:05:11,180 or do I have to go and listen to me wire in Vernon's office? 99 00:05:14,141 --> 00:05:16,301 Thalia's having problems with other kids. 100 00:05:16,381 --> 00:05:17,740 Well, tell her to punch them. 101 00:05:17,821 --> 00:05:19,740 We're not fighting pitbulls! 102 00:05:19,821 --> 00:05:21,341 This is delicate, Mimi, 103 00:05:21,421 --> 00:05:24,180 and delicacy, no offence, isn't really your thing, is it? 104 00:05:24,261 --> 00:05:25,981 [smirks] 105 00:05:26,060 --> 00:05:28,981 She was happy till we moved her here. 106 00:05:29,060 --> 00:05:30,221 I failed her! 107 00:05:30,301 --> 00:05:32,341 My son's been stoned for a year. 108 00:05:32,421 --> 00:05:33,620 I know failure. 109 00:05:33,701 --> 00:05:35,421 There's no reason to pick on her. 110 00:05:35,500 --> 00:05:39,500 She's only been here a few months and it's not like she's fat or ugly. 111 00:05:39,581 --> 00:05:43,581 We take bullying very seriously, extremely seriously. 112 00:05:43,661 --> 00:05:48,141 It's just, we can't do very much about it, so... 113 00:05:48,221 --> 00:05:51,701 I want something done, and if I have to go to the papers, 114 00:05:51,781 --> 00:05:52,740 to the Education Department-- 115 00:05:52,821 --> 00:05:56,021 No! No, no, no, no, no! You misunderstand. 116 00:05:56,101 --> 00:05:58,101 Of course, we'll do everything we can. 117 00:05:58,180 --> 00:06:02,141 There's Government grants for all this anti-bullying caper. 118 00:06:02,221 --> 00:06:04,380 -Mimi Tatton-- -Mimi Tutton. 119 00:06:04,461 --> 00:06:06,581 Bullying's right up her alley. 120 00:06:15,301 --> 00:06:18,060 -What do you know about sales? -I've sold things before. 121 00:06:18,141 --> 00:06:21,301 Drugs, Billy, not security systems. 122 00:06:21,380 --> 00:06:22,781 Drugs, house alarms. 123 00:06:22,861 --> 00:06:25,861 Once you get to know your product, you know how to sell it. 124 00:06:25,940 --> 00:06:27,901 I've got transferable skills. 125 00:06:27,981 --> 00:06:29,661 It's not like we need the money. 126 00:06:29,740 --> 00:06:30,701 It's not about the money. 127 00:06:30,781 --> 00:06:32,461 I'm supporting us both fine, aren't I? 128 00:06:32,541 --> 00:06:34,901 -Yeah, but-- -You don't want for nothing. 129 00:06:38,620 --> 00:06:40,101 [door closes heavily] 130 00:06:56,141 --> 00:06:57,620 [clock ticking] 131 00:07:00,940 --> 00:07:01,981 There you go. 132 00:07:04,820 --> 00:07:06,301 You all right, love? 133 00:07:06,380 --> 00:07:08,221 I've got a job interview at ten next door. 134 00:07:10,380 --> 00:07:11,620 Today's your day! 135 00:07:11,701 --> 00:07:13,141 Everyone expects me to fuck up. 136 00:07:14,701 --> 00:07:17,701 Try that thing where you imagine the interviewer sitting on the toilet 137 00:07:17,781 --> 00:07:20,180 with their pants down, like everybody else. 138 00:07:26,180 --> 00:07:27,341 [sighs] 139 00:07:30,341 --> 00:07:31,740 Wait! 140 00:07:31,820 --> 00:07:34,060 What if it's a woman and I get a stiffy? 141 00:07:37,021 --> 00:07:39,901 You're here 'cause you're all little shits. 142 00:07:39,981 --> 00:07:42,861 You target the weak, the pitiful 143 00:07:42,940 --> 00:07:45,940 and that little bald weirdo with the alopecia. 144 00:07:46,021 --> 00:07:47,740 Let me be clear. 145 00:07:47,820 --> 00:07:49,701 I don't give two figs. 146 00:07:49,781 --> 00:07:53,461 But you gave Thalia Blanco a proper shiner, 147 00:07:53,541 --> 00:07:57,101 and her mam's got a gob the size of Africa. 148 00:07:57,180 --> 00:07:58,740 So, who was it? 149 00:08:01,981 --> 00:08:03,341 [sighs] 150 00:08:05,221 --> 00:08:07,500 Who was it? 151 00:08:17,341 --> 00:08:19,060 Thalia made fun of Jones. 152 00:08:19,141 --> 00:08:20,901 That kid with the bowel disorder? 153 00:08:20,981 --> 00:08:23,901 And he spazzed out and punched her! 154 00:08:23,981 --> 00:08:25,981 Let me get this straight, 155 00:08:26,060 --> 00:08:30,021 Thalia Blanco bullied a vulnerable child? 156 00:08:32,060 --> 00:08:33,180 [chuckles] 157 00:08:34,700 --> 00:08:35,700 Aargh! 158 00:08:39,421 --> 00:08:40,501 Fuck! 159 00:08:41,861 --> 00:08:46,220 Get out and don't come back, you smack addict! 160 00:08:46,301 --> 00:08:48,381 Methadone, my balls! 161 00:08:50,861 --> 00:08:51,980 You all right, love? 162 00:08:52,061 --> 00:08:53,581 Interview not go well, then? 163 00:08:54,581 --> 00:08:56,021 Not your day either, is it? 164 00:08:56,100 --> 00:08:57,100 [sighs] 165 00:09:01,181 --> 00:09:03,061 [door creaks open] 166 00:09:03,141 --> 00:09:04,181 [door closes] 167 00:09:21,220 --> 00:09:23,661 We need to remember bullying hurts everyone, 168 00:09:23,741 --> 00:09:26,061 not just the target, but the bully as well. 169 00:09:26,141 --> 00:09:28,581 Schools have a duty of care to protect kids, 170 00:09:28,661 --> 00:09:30,460 and maybe that should mean excluding bullies. 171 00:09:30,541 --> 00:09:32,941 Yeah, believe me, if it was that easy to get rid of them. 172 00:09:33,021 --> 00:09:35,340 -This is serious. -Yes, of course it is. 173 00:09:35,421 --> 00:09:39,860 If Thalia engaged in bullying, you'd support excluding her? 174 00:09:39,941 --> 00:09:41,061 One hundred percent. 175 00:09:41,141 --> 00:09:42,701 -Are you sure? -Yes! 176 00:09:42,781 --> 00:09:43,781 Thalia's a bully. 177 00:09:45,100 --> 00:09:46,061 What? 178 00:09:46,141 --> 00:09:47,741 The kids don't like her 179 00:09:47,821 --> 00:09:53,901 because she repeatedly engages in planned and orchestrated attempts 180 00:09:53,980 --> 00:09:56,621 at character assassination. 181 00:09:56,701 --> 00:09:58,581 Oh, dear. 182 00:09:58,661 --> 00:10:02,061 No, no. There must be a mistake. 183 00:10:02,141 --> 00:10:04,741 -She wouldn't, she couldn't-- -She did. 184 00:10:06,301 --> 00:10:07,460 But-- 185 00:10:07,541 --> 00:10:10,701 Esther, there's no need for denial anymore. 186 00:10:10,781 --> 00:10:12,501 We're not here to judge. 187 00:10:22,541 --> 00:10:25,100 [Lucia] Three full English, table two, please! 188 00:10:25,181 --> 00:10:26,381 [bell rings] 189 00:10:26,460 --> 00:10:27,501 Hey, Billy? 190 00:10:28,541 --> 00:10:29,501 Yeah? 191 00:10:29,581 --> 00:10:31,421 You're doing fucking marvellous! 192 00:10:40,501 --> 00:10:42,421 [kids chattering] 193 00:10:46,261 --> 00:10:47,941 [Billy cheering] 194 00:10:48,021 --> 00:10:49,541 I'm employed! 195 00:10:49,621 --> 00:10:50,901 -Serious? -Serious! 196 00:10:50,980 --> 00:10:53,860 -I'm a cook in the cafe next door. -You're a cook? 197 00:10:53,941 --> 00:10:56,061 -Yeah, I make 150 squid a week. -[chuckles] 198 00:10:56,141 --> 00:10:57,701 -In cash. -That's it? 199 00:10:57,781 --> 00:10:59,061 And you have to go every day? 200 00:10:59,141 --> 00:11:00,061 Yeah, but-- 201 00:11:00,141 --> 00:11:02,460 You're earning peanuts for shovelling grease! 202 00:11:02,541 --> 00:11:03,901 Mimi will proper respect you now. 203 00:11:12,541 --> 00:11:13,980 Oi, you! 204 00:11:14,061 --> 00:11:16,061 -I look like a salesman, don't I? -So? 205 00:11:16,141 --> 00:11:17,261 So who's to know any different? 206 00:11:17,340 --> 00:11:19,941 If I tell her I'm a salesman, I'm a salesman, aren't I? 207 00:11:20,021 --> 00:11:21,381 Ha-ha. 208 00:11:21,460 --> 00:11:22,541 Boosh! 209 00:11:23,821 --> 00:11:25,141 Ha-ha! 210 00:11:29,621 --> 00:11:30,860 [indistinct speech on TV] 211 00:11:36,141 --> 00:11:38,901 Mr. Hard Lock Security at your service! 212 00:11:38,980 --> 00:11:42,220 You're joking. They hired you in a recession? 213 00:11:42,301 --> 00:11:45,740 With no skills, no experience, no training, you got a job? 214 00:11:45,821 --> 00:11:48,021 I blew the fucking roof off, babe! 215 00:11:48,100 --> 00:11:51,220 -Boosh! Phoo. -[laughter] 216 00:12:09,340 --> 00:12:10,460 [door closes] 217 00:12:10,541 --> 00:12:11,941 [engine revs] 218 00:12:12,980 --> 00:12:15,381 [dramatic music plays] 219 00:12:23,980 --> 00:12:27,100 [Superman music plays] 220 00:12:43,941 --> 00:12:44,980 I'm Billy Tutton. 221 00:12:46,701 --> 00:12:47,701 And I'm a cook. 222 00:12:58,620 --> 00:13:00,901 What are you doing out here on your own, love? 223 00:13:00,980 --> 00:13:02,821 Frank nicked me keys. 224 00:13:12,860 --> 00:13:13,980 What's that? 225 00:13:15,661 --> 00:13:18,421 Oh, it's broken. It's stuck on this channel. 226 00:13:18,501 --> 00:13:19,860 It's foreign. 227 00:13:19,941 --> 00:13:21,661 Aerobics channel. 228 00:13:26,141 --> 00:13:28,901 You haven't been impersonating some poor girl 229 00:13:28,980 --> 00:13:31,021 as the Minger from Notre Dame? 230 00:13:31,100 --> 00:13:34,701 But she is a minger. Wait, I've got a picture. 231 00:13:35,821 --> 00:13:38,740 OK, she's not very pretty, but that's not the point! 232 00:13:38,821 --> 00:13:41,381 Thalia, you shouldn't make fun of people. 233 00:13:41,460 --> 00:13:42,581 -You do. -I do not. 234 00:13:42,661 --> 00:13:43,901 Yes, you do! 235 00:13:45,100 --> 00:13:47,100 [mimics Mimi] "Come anywhere near me with that knob 236 00:13:47,181 --> 00:13:50,701 and I'll rag it off you and I'll ram it up your arse!" 237 00:13:50,781 --> 00:13:52,620 [laughs] 238 00:13:52,701 --> 00:13:56,340 [mimics Frank] "Oh, Derilee, Sherilee, Sherilee--" 239 00:13:56,421 --> 00:13:57,460 [laughs] 240 00:13:59,541 --> 00:14:02,021 [Lillian] Anybody seen me bloody glasses? 241 00:14:02,100 --> 00:14:05,141 Ah, well, yes but... 242 00:14:05,220 --> 00:14:06,620 it was wrong. 243 00:14:06,701 --> 00:14:09,620 If someone's ugly, don't point it out. 244 00:14:09,701 --> 00:14:12,261 Just say how nice her dress is instead. 245 00:14:12,340 --> 00:14:13,821 What if her dress is minging, too? 246 00:14:13,901 --> 00:14:16,661 Just say it's pretty anyway! 247 00:14:16,740 --> 00:14:20,460 -It's the teeniest lie. -The truth's the truth, isn't it? 248 00:14:26,381 --> 00:14:28,261 There you go. 249 00:14:28,340 --> 00:14:29,860 What, really? I can have 'em? 250 00:14:29,941 --> 00:14:32,901 Three days after the sell-by date, but if you cook 'em well. 251 00:14:37,701 --> 00:14:39,460 You all right, love? 252 00:14:39,541 --> 00:14:41,061 It's nothing, just... 253 00:14:43,740 --> 00:14:44,781 thanks. 254 00:14:49,860 --> 00:14:51,620 Six across. 255 00:14:51,701 --> 00:14:56,701 The Egyptian President, died 1970? 256 00:14:57,980 --> 00:14:58,980 Sheik Kebab. 257 00:15:01,381 --> 00:15:03,460 How do you spell it? 258 00:15:03,541 --> 00:15:04,701 Anyway you want, love. 259 00:15:04,781 --> 00:15:06,541 Nobody can know everything. 260 00:15:06,620 --> 00:15:07,581 Aargh! 261 00:15:07,661 --> 00:15:09,901 Nits, Lillian! Bloody nits! 262 00:15:13,500 --> 00:15:15,381 See, what you've got to make clear to the client 263 00:15:15,460 --> 00:15:17,181 is you're not selling security. 264 00:15:17,261 --> 00:15:19,500 You're selling peace of mind. And can you put a price on that? 265 00:15:21,021 --> 00:15:22,460 But you're not selling security. 266 00:15:22,541 --> 00:15:24,181 You're flipping eggs. 267 00:15:24,261 --> 00:15:25,901 This job has changed my life. 268 00:15:26,980 --> 00:15:28,821 Maybe I should buy cufflinks. 269 00:15:28,901 --> 00:15:30,141 Do you have a shirt that needs cufflinks? 270 00:15:31,181 --> 00:15:33,821 No, but just the thought of buying 'em makes me feel proud, 271 00:15:33,901 --> 00:15:36,220 like I'm a man who needs cufflinks. 272 00:15:36,301 --> 00:15:37,661 But you don't need 'em! 273 00:15:37,740 --> 00:15:39,261 You don't have a shirt 'cause you don't have the job! 274 00:15:39,340 --> 00:15:40,781 Yeah, but nobody knows that, do they? 275 00:15:42,541 --> 00:15:44,220 I made it, all right? 276 00:15:44,301 --> 00:15:46,821 Billy Tutton has finally become a man. 277 00:15:48,701 --> 00:15:50,301 [clicking lighter] 278 00:15:54,100 --> 00:15:55,181 [clicks] 279 00:15:57,541 --> 00:15:59,301 So talk me through how you do it. 280 00:15:59,380 --> 00:16:01,380 Sell me security. 281 00:16:03,941 --> 00:16:06,061 Once you've got 'em sold on cameras, 282 00:16:06,141 --> 00:16:09,181 you can flog 'em dead bolts, window guards. 283 00:16:09,261 --> 00:16:11,581 Give the windows a shake and look grave. 284 00:16:12,701 --> 00:16:13,821 [laughs] 285 00:16:13,901 --> 00:16:16,701 Shitting themselves is exactly where you want 'em. 286 00:16:16,781 --> 00:16:18,500 I get 'em shitting their pants, 287 00:16:18,581 --> 00:16:21,581 I shake the windows and then look grave. 288 00:16:25,901 --> 00:16:27,901 You look fitter than James Bond in that suit. 289 00:16:27,980 --> 00:16:29,500 Lucky me, eh? 290 00:16:29,581 --> 00:16:33,340 I've got me very own Hard Cock consultant. 291 00:16:33,421 --> 00:16:35,380 [Mimi chuckles] 292 00:16:35,460 --> 00:16:36,901 [zipper opens] 293 00:16:43,500 --> 00:16:44,821 I had started believing, you know... 294 00:16:46,740 --> 00:16:48,100 that I might actually be nothing. 295 00:16:48,181 --> 00:16:49,181 A nobody. 296 00:16:50,860 --> 00:16:53,100 Having a job doesn't make you somebody. 297 00:16:54,141 --> 00:16:55,181 You do that. 298 00:16:55,261 --> 00:16:57,620 Well, how am I somebody? 299 00:17:02,301 --> 00:17:06,501 Well, you've got a heart the size of a horse, you pillock. 300 00:17:08,900 --> 00:17:13,461 You mean it wouldn't matter if I didn't have the job, the suit... 301 00:17:14,620 --> 00:17:16,301 just me would be enough? 302 00:17:16,380 --> 00:17:18,900 I loved you penniless in trainers, didn't I? 303 00:17:22,701 --> 00:17:24,701 [siren wailing in distance] 304 00:17:25,900 --> 00:17:27,581 Nice having the new car, though, eh? 305 00:17:29,061 --> 00:17:31,341 Oh, yeah. Yeah, the car. 306 00:17:36,660 --> 00:17:38,501 -[engine revs] -[tyres screeching] 307 00:17:38,581 --> 00:17:40,501 ["Boom" plays] 308 00:17:49,741 --> 00:17:50,821 [car lock chirps] 309 00:17:52,381 --> 00:17:53,420 You all right? 310 00:17:54,461 --> 00:17:55,781 Yeah, buddy. 311 00:17:58,021 --> 00:17:59,101 You all right? 312 00:18:04,061 --> 00:18:05,660 Yeah. I got you. 313 00:18:07,940 --> 00:18:09,101 [laughs] 314 00:18:10,541 --> 00:18:12,741 Yeah. 315 00:18:12,821 --> 00:18:13,861 Gimme that. 316 00:18:17,141 --> 00:18:18,301 Boosh! 317 00:18:22,180 --> 00:18:24,621 -What you playing at? -A car? 318 00:18:24,701 --> 00:18:26,900 Well, how am I supposed to make my sales without wheels? 319 00:18:26,981 --> 00:18:28,621 Billy, you're not a fucking salesman! 320 00:18:28,700 --> 00:18:29,861 That's why I'm only renting it. 321 00:18:29,940 --> 00:18:33,021 It's just a mid-range hatchback, nothing flash. 322 00:18:33,101 --> 00:18:34,900 -How much? -Two hundred quid a week. 323 00:18:34,981 --> 00:18:36,180 You only make 150! 324 00:18:36,261 --> 00:18:38,700 What's the point in being a hotshot salesman if I'm not flush with cash? 325 00:18:38,781 --> 00:18:40,101 But you're not flush with cash! 326 00:18:40,180 --> 00:18:41,700 I know that, Einstein. 327 00:18:41,781 --> 00:18:43,940 I've got to project an image of success, hasn't I? 328 00:18:46,301 --> 00:18:48,621 [door opens] 329 00:18:48,700 --> 00:18:49,821 Can I come in? 330 00:18:49,900 --> 00:18:53,501 Oh, sorry, pet, but kids are full of filth. 331 00:18:53,581 --> 00:18:55,420 And I can't have that in my brothel. 332 00:18:55,501 --> 00:18:56,781 Tch, sorry. 333 00:19:00,861 --> 00:19:02,621 Your best champagne. 334 00:19:02,700 --> 00:19:03,861 Not got any. 335 00:19:03,940 --> 00:19:04,900 Lager then. 336 00:19:04,981 --> 00:19:06,741 He's got a car now. 337 00:19:06,821 --> 00:19:08,101 I'm wet with excitement. 338 00:19:08,180 --> 00:19:10,781 I'll have a lager and a double vodka chaser on Billy, 339 00:19:10,861 --> 00:19:12,261 seeing as you're flush with cash. 340 00:19:12,341 --> 00:19:13,541 Drinks on Billy! 341 00:19:13,621 --> 00:19:16,381 [cheering] 342 00:19:16,461 --> 00:19:19,301 Nice to see a Chatsworth lad making something of himself, 343 00:19:19,381 --> 00:19:21,900 not like the rest of you inbred, lazy fucks. 344 00:19:24,461 --> 00:19:26,621 -What you doing? -For the drinks. 345 00:19:28,660 --> 00:19:29,861 You're fucked now, Billyboy. 346 00:19:29,940 --> 00:19:31,660 You're gonna have to rob a bank to keep this up. 347 00:19:31,741 --> 00:19:33,581 [thinking] 348 00:19:33,660 --> 00:19:36,261 Have to rob a bank to keep this up. Have to rob a bank to keep this up. 349 00:19:43,420 --> 00:19:44,381 Really, though? 350 00:19:44,461 --> 00:19:45,861 Well, where else are you going to get it from? 351 00:19:47,781 --> 00:19:49,501 [keys rattling] 352 00:19:49,581 --> 00:19:51,021 You don't use your keys, you dick. 353 00:19:51,101 --> 00:19:52,821 Well, how else are we going to get in? 354 00:19:57,940 --> 00:19:59,301 [thud] 355 00:19:59,381 --> 00:20:00,541 Like that. 356 00:20:08,101 --> 00:20:10,461 Stop messing about! Start acting like a burglar! 357 00:20:12,741 --> 00:20:14,180 -[glass shatters] -What you doing? 358 00:20:14,261 --> 00:20:15,861 Burglars don't respect property, do they? 359 00:20:15,940 --> 00:20:17,981 My aunt Harriet gave us that for our wedding. 360 00:20:18,061 --> 00:20:19,940 Well, seeing as the burglar don't know your Aunt Harriet, 361 00:20:20,021 --> 00:20:21,180 he wouldn't give a fuck, would he? 362 00:20:21,261 --> 00:20:23,141 Me keeping it real's well going to save our arse! 363 00:20:23,221 --> 00:20:24,221 Right, right, right! 364 00:20:24,301 --> 00:20:26,981 Make it look real, just hurry the fuck up about it! 365 00:20:27,061 --> 00:20:29,021 Maybe I should just shit on the bed? 366 00:20:29,101 --> 00:20:30,781 No! Well, piss in the sink? 367 00:20:30,861 --> 00:20:31,821 [sighs] 368 00:20:31,900 --> 00:20:35,461 Making it real means cash, jewellery, things people would steal. 369 00:20:47,781 --> 00:20:49,501 What you doing? I said no pissing! 370 00:20:49,581 --> 00:20:50,741 You said not in the sink. 371 00:20:50,821 --> 00:20:51,940 This is just the hallway. 372 00:20:55,821 --> 00:20:56,981 [door closes] 373 00:21:01,660 --> 00:21:02,981 "Lie," she says! 374 00:21:03,061 --> 00:21:05,501 -What happened? -I did just as you said. 375 00:21:05,581 --> 00:21:07,621 I said be nice to people. How were you nice? 376 00:21:07,700 --> 00:21:11,021 I told Stuart that Bec probably liked him 'cause he likes her. 377 00:21:11,101 --> 00:21:12,420 He were well happy. 378 00:21:12,501 --> 00:21:13,660 What's wrong with that? 379 00:21:13,741 --> 00:21:16,741 Bec kicked him in the balls when he tried to kiss her. 380 00:21:16,821 --> 00:21:18,101 So she doesn't like him? 381 00:21:18,180 --> 00:21:19,940 Course not! He's a skidmark. 382 00:21:20,021 --> 00:21:21,981 But how do you think Stuart now feels? 383 00:21:23,021 --> 00:21:24,861 This is how he feels! 384 00:21:24,940 --> 00:21:26,541 You are a terrible mother. 385 00:21:37,221 --> 00:21:38,700 Almost two grand. I'm laughing. 386 00:21:39,700 --> 00:21:43,261 Right, what we're going to do is keep the gear here till it's safe to move and-- 387 00:21:43,341 --> 00:21:45,061 You'll have to find somewhere else to put all this shit. 388 00:21:45,141 --> 00:21:47,261 You'd have to be a fucking idiot to want any of it. 389 00:21:49,741 --> 00:21:52,101 [energetic music playing] 390 00:21:53,981 --> 00:21:55,141 Can you not go any faster? 391 00:21:55,221 --> 00:21:56,581 My legs are shorter than yours. 392 00:21:56,660 --> 00:21:58,981 -Just make yours go quicker! -Fuck off! 393 00:22:19,700 --> 00:22:20,981 -You all right? -[both] You all right? 394 00:22:21,061 --> 00:22:22,061 You all right? 395 00:22:22,141 --> 00:22:23,460 [dog barking in distance] 396 00:22:33,821 --> 00:22:34,900 [knocks on door] 397 00:22:36,621 --> 00:22:39,061 [bangs on door] 398 00:22:41,621 --> 00:22:44,141 -I heard you need a new TV. -No. 399 00:22:44,221 --> 00:22:46,700 [Stella] 'Cause yours is stuck on foreign aerobics? 400 00:22:48,101 --> 00:22:50,180 Just take it! Early Christmas. 401 00:22:59,381 --> 00:23:03,021 Since I got you a new TV, maybe we could be friends? 402 00:23:34,741 --> 00:23:35,900 [clatters] 403 00:23:38,541 --> 00:23:41,021 Come on. It's OK. 404 00:23:41,101 --> 00:23:42,981 No, Billy, it's not OK! 405 00:23:45,341 --> 00:23:47,501 I had no idea that locket meant so much to you. 406 00:23:48,900 --> 00:23:51,180 It's the only thing me mam ever gave to me, 407 00:23:51,261 --> 00:23:53,221 the only good memory of her that I've got. 408 00:23:54,541 --> 00:23:57,341 -When I find the fucker who did this-- -It's in the past now, babe. 409 00:23:57,420 --> 00:23:58,900 Just forget it. 410 00:23:58,981 --> 00:24:00,900 I'll never forget this, Billy. 411 00:24:00,981 --> 00:24:03,460 Someone has taken a massive dump on our lives. 412 00:24:03,541 --> 00:24:05,940 It was just a little piss. I got the Febreze straight on it. 413 00:24:06,021 --> 00:24:11,581 When I find the fucker who's done this, I'll rip him apart, 414 00:24:11,660 --> 00:24:14,420 limb from fucking limb! 415 00:24:25,781 --> 00:24:28,460 -How did they know where the money was? -[soothing music plays] 416 00:24:28,541 --> 00:24:30,700 Tonight's about emptying your mind of worries. 417 00:24:31,700 --> 00:24:33,420 Oh, turn this shite off. 418 00:24:33,501 --> 00:24:35,861 It's more irritating than a bloody yeast infection. 419 00:24:37,700 --> 00:24:38,821 [clicks, music stops] 420 00:24:46,621 --> 00:24:48,381 It's someone who knows us. 421 00:24:48,460 --> 00:24:52,180 Who knows we wouldn't be home, knows we've got cash. 422 00:24:53,221 --> 00:24:55,261 I bet it's one of them bastards from the Jockey. 423 00:24:56,541 --> 00:24:58,981 Can't we just pretend like none of this happened? 424 00:25:00,180 --> 00:25:01,821 Probably bought the fucker a drink. 425 00:25:02,821 --> 00:25:05,301 [sighs] 426 00:25:05,381 --> 00:25:07,741 Well, drink up, sunshine. 427 00:25:07,821 --> 00:25:10,741 Because you'll be lucky to shit through a straw 428 00:25:10,821 --> 00:25:12,660 when my boys are finished with ya. 429 00:25:13,861 --> 00:25:16,061 Just forget it now. You'll never find them. 430 00:25:17,061 --> 00:25:18,061 We'll find them. 431 00:25:18,141 --> 00:25:22,900 If we have to rough up every scroat from here to China, we'll find them. 432 00:25:22,981 --> 00:25:25,821 [chimes] 433 00:26:00,220 --> 00:26:01,861 [door opens, closes] 434 00:26:03,180 --> 00:26:04,341 They know! 435 00:26:04,420 --> 00:26:05,621 Who knows? 436 00:26:05,700 --> 00:26:06,981 -Jamie and Shane. -We're fucked! 437 00:26:07,061 --> 00:26:09,420 Well, if they knew, Mimi'd know, and we'd already be dead. 438 00:26:09,501 --> 00:26:10,900 If I could just give her back the locket. 439 00:26:10,981 --> 00:26:12,501 Oh, yeah, sign your own death warrant? 440 00:26:12,581 --> 00:26:13,781 Say I found it in the house somewhere. 441 00:26:13,861 --> 00:26:15,781 The burglars dropped it on their way out. 442 00:26:15,861 --> 00:26:19,420 Well, so now we're not just burglars, we're shit burglars? 443 00:26:19,501 --> 00:26:20,541 Sound. 444 00:26:22,460 --> 00:26:24,940 -Where is it? -Maybe you did drop it, you useless dick. 445 00:26:25,021 --> 00:26:27,861 Don't call me useless! Anyway, you call this secure? 446 00:26:27,940 --> 00:26:29,741 I'm not the cunt who works in security, am I? 447 00:26:29,821 --> 00:26:32,861 Just dump the lot somewhere no one will ever find it. 448 00:26:32,940 --> 00:26:34,021 Dump it? 449 00:26:34,101 --> 00:26:35,381 So I take all the risk hiding all the stuff, 450 00:26:35,460 --> 00:26:36,621 and now I'm supposed to walk away with nothing? 451 00:26:36,700 --> 00:26:38,420 What do you want? 452 00:26:38,501 --> 00:26:39,781 -A grand. -Fuck off! 453 00:26:39,861 --> 00:26:42,741 -That's my wife's money! -Which we stole, 50/50. 454 00:26:47,940 --> 00:26:50,501 -That's not even a 100 quid! -Aargh! 455 00:26:50,581 --> 00:26:52,861 Please, just get rid of it or we're dead. 456 00:26:54,101 --> 00:26:58,301 But it has to be someone from round here or how'd they know to target our house? 457 00:26:58,381 --> 00:27:00,501 We've tried all the usual suspects. Nothing. 458 00:27:00,581 --> 00:27:03,460 Salmonella Sam's screwing some bird that's not his wife, 459 00:27:03,541 --> 00:27:06,581 but he definitely didn't rob ya, and he doesn't know who did. 460 00:27:06,660 --> 00:27:08,381 Steal the biscuits as well, did they? 461 00:27:08,460 --> 00:27:09,781 It's probably just kids. 462 00:27:09,861 --> 00:27:10,821 How do you reckon that? 463 00:27:10,900 --> 00:27:13,341 It's hardly some mastermind criminal, is it? 464 00:27:13,420 --> 00:27:15,700 What sort of fucking idiot steals a toaster? 465 00:27:15,781 --> 00:27:17,141 It's the placemats that get me! 466 00:27:17,220 --> 00:27:20,861 Might have been a fucking idiot, but looks like he's got away with it, 467 00:27:20,940 --> 00:27:22,460 and right under your noses. 468 00:27:24,301 --> 00:27:25,821 What? I'm just saying. 469 00:27:25,900 --> 00:27:28,460 I've tried every pawn shop in Manchester. 470 00:27:28,541 --> 00:27:30,061 No one's tried to shift the gear. 471 00:27:30,141 --> 00:27:33,741 No one's used the money to pay off any debts or buy anything flash. 472 00:27:33,821 --> 00:27:36,021 Maybe we should just move on now, eh, babe? 473 00:27:36,101 --> 00:27:37,021 Put it behind us. 474 00:27:37,101 --> 00:27:39,660 Not till I feel safe again in me own home. 475 00:27:39,741 --> 00:27:42,861 Get Hard Lock round, I want the works. 476 00:27:42,940 --> 00:27:43,940 Hard Lock? 477 00:27:44,021 --> 00:27:47,301 Security so tight even a fart can't slip out. 478 00:27:49,821 --> 00:27:52,541 You've done your best but my social alienation 479 00:27:52,621 --> 00:27:54,021 is bigger than both of us. 480 00:27:54,101 --> 00:27:55,981 We need to talk solutions. 481 00:27:57,341 --> 00:28:00,420 -Home school. -No, Thalia. 482 00:28:00,501 --> 00:28:04,021 Just until I'm 18 and then I'll move to Israel, where I'll be safe. 483 00:28:04,101 --> 00:28:06,621 Home school kids are friendless freaks. 484 00:28:06,700 --> 00:28:08,541 I am a friendless freak! 485 00:28:08,621 --> 00:28:13,741 Why do you think they call me "Saddo Saddo No Friends Blanco?" 486 00:28:13,821 --> 00:28:14,981 Aargh. 487 00:28:16,341 --> 00:28:20,220 You are a great kid and you will make friends, I promise. 488 00:28:20,301 --> 00:28:23,741 Even the bald kid has more status. 489 00:28:23,821 --> 00:28:26,381 You do impressions of people and make friends, 490 00:28:26,460 --> 00:28:27,861 but when I do it, they hate me. 491 00:28:28,900 --> 00:28:30,900 But I don't do it to their faces. 492 00:28:30,980 --> 00:28:32,581 So I don't hurt their feelings. 493 00:28:32,660 --> 00:28:33,861 So that makes it all right? 494 00:28:33,940 --> 00:28:35,821 No! That's not what I meant. 495 00:28:35,900 --> 00:28:38,141 I'm honest and upfront 496 00:28:38,220 --> 00:28:41,061 and you sneak around being cruel to people behind their backs. 497 00:28:46,180 --> 00:28:48,261 You know what? You're right. 498 00:28:50,501 --> 00:28:52,821 Maybe we both need to say sorry. 499 00:28:53,821 --> 00:28:55,341 What can I get you? 500 00:28:55,420 --> 00:28:56,621 I'm here to say I'm sorry. 501 00:28:56,700 --> 00:28:57,741 What for? 502 00:29:01,301 --> 00:29:04,061 I do this impression of you behind your back. 503 00:29:04,141 --> 00:29:06,621 I'm not proud of myself and I want to apologise. 504 00:29:06,700 --> 00:29:08,141 Impression? 505 00:29:08,220 --> 00:29:11,381 The point is, I'm sorry and it won't happen again. 506 00:29:11,460 --> 00:29:13,341 Wait a minute. 507 00:29:14,621 --> 00:29:16,861 -What? -Well, show me. 508 00:29:16,940 --> 00:29:17,900 Show you? 509 00:29:17,980 --> 00:29:19,700 No, I'm not doing that. 510 00:29:19,781 --> 00:29:21,861 Come on. I can take a joke, can't I? 511 00:29:24,341 --> 00:29:25,261 [mimics] "What can I get you? 512 00:29:25,341 --> 00:29:27,301 Fuck's sake, Karen, I can take a joke, can't I?" 513 00:29:28,581 --> 00:29:30,220 And then you do your nostril thing. 514 00:29:33,301 --> 00:29:34,980 See, you're doing it right now! [chuckles] 515 00:29:38,420 --> 00:29:39,660 Yeah. Good one. 516 00:29:41,341 --> 00:29:43,541 People want to forgive, Thalia. 517 00:29:43,621 --> 00:29:45,381 They just need to know you're sorry. 518 00:29:46,781 --> 00:29:49,821 I started in the biz doing impressions. 519 00:29:49,900 --> 00:29:51,980 Go on, then, let's see what you can do. 520 00:29:56,741 --> 00:29:59,460 [mimics] "Voice of an angel, me. 521 00:29:59,541 --> 00:30:01,381 Beyoncé can rim me!" 522 00:30:05,501 --> 00:30:07,980 As I said, I'm very sorry. 523 00:30:09,420 --> 00:30:10,420 [mimics] "They can't refuse a mosque 524 00:30:10,501 --> 00:30:13,341 'cause little fat skinheads march from one dole office to another, 525 00:30:13,420 --> 00:30:14,781 the bald little twats." 526 00:30:16,220 --> 00:30:17,301 [groans] 527 00:30:22,861 --> 00:30:23,940 That went well. 528 00:30:32,381 --> 00:30:34,541 -Can I come in? -No, pet. 529 00:30:37,980 --> 00:30:40,861 Oh, you shouldn't have, sweetheart. 530 00:30:40,940 --> 00:30:41,861 Thank you. 531 00:30:41,940 --> 00:30:43,980 Now can we be friends? 532 00:30:44,061 --> 00:30:47,621 You need friends your age or you'll end up a weirdo. 533 00:30:47,700 --> 00:30:49,541 And believe me, I know... 534 00:30:49,621 --> 00:30:50,821 Thank you. 535 00:30:56,061 --> 00:30:57,781 Are you sure you know what you're doing? 536 00:31:01,460 --> 00:31:02,900 [screams] 537 00:31:02,980 --> 00:31:04,220 Fuck! 538 00:31:06,581 --> 00:31:08,541 So how much did all this cost? 539 00:31:08,621 --> 00:31:10,021 [sighs] 540 00:31:10,101 --> 00:31:16,660 Two cameras, hard locks for the front and back doors, and this. 541 00:31:16,741 --> 00:31:17,741 -[turns on] -[dogs barking] 542 00:31:17,821 --> 00:31:19,381 [turns off] 543 00:31:21,101 --> 00:31:22,460 Er, about 800 quid. 544 00:31:23,900 --> 00:31:26,220 -Isn't that your car? -What? 545 00:31:29,741 --> 00:31:31,021 Fuck! 546 00:31:31,101 --> 00:31:32,781 [door rattles] 547 00:31:32,861 --> 00:31:34,501 Fuck! Billy. 548 00:31:34,581 --> 00:31:35,861 [keys rattle] 549 00:31:44,301 --> 00:31:45,301 -[engine revs] -Where you going, bro? 550 00:31:45,381 --> 00:31:48,061 -You should've kept up the payments. -[tyres squealing] 551 00:31:48,141 --> 00:31:50,141 That's my car, you dick! Aargh! 552 00:31:52,541 --> 00:31:54,141 That your car? 553 00:31:54,220 --> 00:31:55,900 Yeah, it's just going in for a checkup. 554 00:31:55,980 --> 00:31:58,381 -Oh. Surprise! -[keys rattle] 555 00:31:58,460 --> 00:31:59,781 Welcome to your newly-secured home. 556 00:31:59,861 --> 00:32:01,900 Got the Hard Lock crew in today. 557 00:32:01,980 --> 00:32:03,061 [sighs] 558 00:32:13,740 --> 00:32:15,940 If it weren't for Billy, I'd have gone mad. 559 00:32:16,021 --> 00:32:17,501 Nah, I haven't done much really. 560 00:32:17,581 --> 00:32:22,821 You've been a bloody rock, staying calm, fixing up the house safe. 561 00:32:23,821 --> 00:32:27,420 I'd have pummelled the first scally I thought looked at me funny. 562 00:32:27,501 --> 00:32:28,980 Could be somebody we know. 563 00:32:29,061 --> 00:32:30,381 Maybe even someone here. 564 00:32:38,101 --> 00:32:39,061 What can I get you, darlin'? 565 00:32:39,141 --> 00:32:40,501 Vodka and coke, please. 566 00:32:43,301 --> 00:32:45,700 -Where d'you get that? -What? 567 00:32:45,781 --> 00:32:47,581 -That's me ma's locket! -What? 568 00:32:47,660 --> 00:32:49,061 What you on about? 569 00:32:49,141 --> 00:32:51,980 -Get off me! -Where d'you get it? 570 00:32:52,061 --> 00:32:55,381 No lies or I'll have your twat on a barbeque! 571 00:32:55,460 --> 00:32:56,621 Where d'you get it? 572 00:33:02,021 --> 00:33:03,501 [indistinct conversations] 573 00:33:16,781 --> 00:33:18,420 [knocks on door] 574 00:33:18,501 --> 00:33:20,101 [indistinct conversations] 575 00:33:33,141 --> 00:33:34,700 [Mimi] What d'you know about this? 576 00:33:34,781 --> 00:33:36,021 -My locket? -[Mimi] No! 577 00:33:36,101 --> 00:33:37,341 My locket! 578 00:33:37,420 --> 00:33:40,861 Is she giving 'em to everyone? I thought I was special. 579 00:33:40,940 --> 00:33:42,541 [Mimi] That's my TV! 580 00:33:42,621 --> 00:33:43,740 Who gave it to you? 581 00:33:44,740 --> 00:33:46,101 [Lillian] You can't be angry with her. She didn't mean-- 582 00:33:46,180 --> 00:33:47,341 Who? 583 00:33:47,420 --> 00:33:49,180 Stella. 584 00:33:49,261 --> 00:33:52,420 [Mimi] A six-year-old didn't smash my front door open. 585 00:33:52,501 --> 00:33:53,821 [Jamie] Or carry that. 586 00:33:55,460 --> 00:33:57,101 -Where do you think you're going? -I didn't do anything! 587 00:33:57,180 --> 00:33:58,141 Ey? 588 00:33:58,220 --> 00:33:59,781 Then why the fuck are you scarpering then, eh? 589 00:33:59,861 --> 00:34:03,460 You stole from me? From your friend? 590 00:34:03,541 --> 00:34:04,460 Billy? 591 00:34:04,541 --> 00:34:08,381 [Mimi] That's the lowest, most despicable... Break his arm. 592 00:34:08,461 --> 00:34:10,381 [groans] Billy made me! 593 00:34:11,461 --> 00:34:14,541 Why would me own husband steal from me? 594 00:34:14,621 --> 00:34:15,860 Tell him, Billy. 595 00:34:15,941 --> 00:34:19,541 He's insulted you, he's insulted me. Tell him. 596 00:34:19,621 --> 00:34:21,421 [dramatic music playing] 597 00:34:28,981 --> 00:34:31,660 You wouldn't, I know you wouldn't. 598 00:34:39,381 --> 00:34:40,901 [door opens] 599 00:34:40,981 --> 00:34:42,501 [door closes] 600 00:34:42,581 --> 00:34:45,740 Babe! Babe! 601 00:34:45,820 --> 00:34:47,220 Just stop! 602 00:34:47,300 --> 00:34:48,581 [screams] 603 00:35:00,421 --> 00:35:01,461 Why? 604 00:35:03,141 --> 00:35:06,101 'Cause like, when you think of the great men in history, 605 00:35:06,181 --> 00:35:10,860 like Martin Luther King, Winston Churchill, Roy Keane. 606 00:35:10,941 --> 00:35:12,621 What the fuck you on about? 607 00:35:12,701 --> 00:35:16,101 They stood for something! They did things. 608 00:35:16,181 --> 00:35:17,860 That's why I became a salesman. 609 00:35:17,941 --> 00:35:19,820 Well, a cook. 610 00:35:20,901 --> 00:35:22,741 Is anything you've told me true? 611 00:35:23,501 --> 00:35:24,541 I love you. 612 00:35:25,981 --> 00:35:28,581 I believed in you, Billy, you fucking idiot! 613 00:35:28,661 --> 00:35:30,061 I know, babe, I'm sorry. 614 00:35:30,141 --> 00:35:33,981 Even though I knew I shouldn't. You, a salesman? You? 615 00:35:34,061 --> 00:35:35,661 I just wanted to show you, 616 00:35:35,741 --> 00:35:38,621 the way you looked at me when you thought, 617 00:35:39,741 --> 00:35:42,381 it felt good, like, I might be a man. 618 00:35:45,141 --> 00:35:48,141 Anytime you wanna be a man, Billy, you know what you have to do? 619 00:35:49,501 --> 00:35:52,021 Don't play at it, just be one. 620 00:36:05,340 --> 00:36:06,581 [birds chirping] 621 00:36:09,141 --> 00:36:11,221 If it isn't the littlest Supreme, 622 00:36:11,300 --> 00:36:13,981 this an encore performance? 623 00:36:14,061 --> 00:36:16,381 What do you know about living with bipolar? 624 00:36:17,780 --> 00:36:21,701 And then I guess, Dad went inside, she just lost the plot, you know? 625 00:36:23,860 --> 00:36:27,741 And then that's when she went off her meds and the drinking really started. 626 00:36:29,981 --> 00:36:32,741 I think when she started sleeping with Frank for comfort. 627 00:36:32,820 --> 00:36:34,261 Oh. 628 00:36:34,340 --> 00:36:35,941 Allah be merciful. 629 00:36:37,141 --> 00:36:38,300 Yeah. 630 00:36:38,381 --> 00:36:39,541 Rock bottom. 631 00:36:41,261 --> 00:36:42,981 But she'd never ever have done it 632 00:36:43,061 --> 00:36:45,181 if she hadn't been completely off her tree, 633 00:36:45,261 --> 00:36:47,141 so can you forgive her? 634 00:37:10,581 --> 00:37:12,340 So you got my things back? 635 00:37:12,421 --> 00:37:14,421 Most of 'em. 636 00:37:14,501 --> 00:37:17,021 Can't even fucking do that right. 637 00:37:17,101 --> 00:37:19,901 Didn't have to bother with the juicer, it never worked. 638 00:37:21,141 --> 00:37:23,181 It does now. I fixed it. 639 00:37:27,780 --> 00:37:29,901 I'm going to pay the rest back in instalments. 640 00:37:31,101 --> 00:37:33,340 I think we should live apart for a while. 641 00:37:34,860 --> 00:37:36,780 I need space. 642 00:37:48,261 --> 00:37:49,661 [door closes] 643 00:37:49,741 --> 00:37:51,860 This is the life, innit? 644 00:37:51,941 --> 00:37:53,621 [gunfire on TV] 645 00:37:53,701 --> 00:37:57,661 A night in with the lads, a few beers, a few laughs. 646 00:37:57,741 --> 00:37:59,541 -[farts] -[sighs] 647 00:38:02,181 --> 00:38:03,941 I bet she expects me to come crawling back. 648 00:38:04,021 --> 00:38:07,541 You know, slither in on my belly, beg her for forgiveness. 649 00:38:07,621 --> 00:38:10,421 Never apologise, never explain. Words to live by. 650 00:38:10,501 --> 00:38:13,421 Well, I tried to explain, but she wouldn't listen. 651 00:38:13,501 --> 00:38:16,181 So try again, women love persistence. 652 00:38:16,261 --> 00:38:19,101 Calling your right hand Sue doesn't make you an expert 653 00:38:19,181 --> 00:38:20,820 on feminine nature. 654 00:38:20,901 --> 00:38:24,421 I'm a master of my own destiny at last, answering to no one. 655 00:38:24,501 --> 00:38:25,701 This is my opportunity to grow. 656 00:38:25,780 --> 00:38:27,661 -[knocks on door] -Wonderful! 657 00:38:27,741 --> 00:38:30,181 Now fuck off and grow somewhere quietly, I've got company. 658 00:38:33,101 --> 00:38:34,701 Ah! 659 00:38:34,780 --> 00:38:36,981 We meet again, my Pussy Galores. 660 00:38:37,061 --> 00:38:39,421 Ready to shake and stir your cocktini. 661 00:38:54,380 --> 00:38:56,981 It's none of my business, but are you OK? 662 00:38:57,061 --> 00:38:58,541 It's none of your business. 663 00:39:00,061 --> 00:39:01,261 [laughter in distance] 664 00:39:04,461 --> 00:39:06,380 You don't ever hear a woman say that, do you? 665 00:39:06,461 --> 00:39:11,141 "I fucked up but it's all your fault 'cause I didn't feel woman enough." 666 00:39:11,221 --> 00:39:13,701 -Bollocks! -What use is "sorry" anyway? 667 00:39:13,780 --> 00:39:15,061 Nothing ever gets wiped clean. 668 00:39:15,141 --> 00:39:17,340 Then, they disappear before you can leave 'em first. 669 00:39:17,421 --> 00:39:20,421 Am I meant to apologise for being a strong woman? 670 00:39:21,461 --> 00:39:24,541 Well, he can shove his sorrys up his good-for-nothing arse. 671 00:39:25,581 --> 00:39:26,901 Fuck him! 672 00:39:26,981 --> 00:39:27,981 [both] Fuck him. 673 00:39:32,340 --> 00:39:34,061 [loud laughter] 674 00:40:00,860 --> 00:40:02,741 [people laughing] 675 00:40:17,101 --> 00:40:18,141 On the house. 676 00:40:21,661 --> 00:40:24,501 Mental illness is nothing to be ashamed of. 677 00:40:24,581 --> 00:40:25,981 It's not? 678 00:40:26,061 --> 00:40:28,300 Thalia, don't be angry with her. 679 00:40:28,380 --> 00:40:30,380 The way she's holding up, she's a little trouper. 680 00:40:31,461 --> 00:40:33,181 She's told us what you've been through. 681 00:40:33,261 --> 00:40:35,701 We are all 100% behind you. 682 00:40:42,300 --> 00:40:43,340 I'll get a drink. 683 00:40:50,300 --> 00:40:52,380 If you've got a psychiatric disorder, 684 00:40:52,461 --> 00:40:56,061 people are falling over themselves being understanding! 685 00:40:56,141 --> 00:40:57,981 But did you have to say I was bipolar? 686 00:40:58,981 --> 00:41:01,541 You can't always lie your way out of trouble, you know. 687 00:41:01,621 --> 00:41:04,340 I know, but they felt so sorry for you. 688 00:41:04,421 --> 00:41:08,741 And you should have seen their faces when I said you were shagging Frank. 689 00:41:08,820 --> 00:41:10,101 What? 690 00:41:12,780 --> 00:41:13,941 Billy said I should return... 691 00:41:15,300 --> 00:41:17,181 Actually, it was more my idea but... 692 00:41:31,621 --> 00:41:33,261 Celery and kiwi. 693 00:41:33,340 --> 00:41:35,021 I've got into juicing. 694 00:41:38,101 --> 00:41:40,181 I'm sorry about, you know, 695 00:41:40,261 --> 00:41:42,780 I mean, the piss in the hallway was only meant for it to be realistic. 696 00:41:42,860 --> 00:41:44,981 There was no bad feelings behind it. 697 00:41:46,701 --> 00:41:48,300 Look, I'm completely on your side, 698 00:41:48,380 --> 00:41:50,061 you're better off without that dumb prick. 699 00:41:50,141 --> 00:41:53,340 I told Billy from the beginning, "Mimi's not going to be impressed by sales." 700 00:41:55,101 --> 00:41:58,780 So the only reason he went for that job was to try and impress me? 701 00:41:58,860 --> 00:42:01,581 And then the thick twat got himself in deeper by renting a car. 702 00:42:01,661 --> 00:42:03,501 Of course, he couldn't afford it on his cook's salary. 703 00:42:05,181 --> 00:42:06,701 He really is a cook? 704 00:42:08,621 --> 00:42:10,621 So the only solution he's got is to rob from his own house. 705 00:42:11,860 --> 00:42:13,901 [both chuckle] 706 00:42:18,621 --> 00:42:21,661 Table number six says compliments to the chef. 707 00:42:21,741 --> 00:42:22,780 It was only beans on toast. 708 00:42:22,860 --> 00:42:24,981 Well, how did you do the beans? 709 00:42:25,061 --> 00:42:26,101 In the microwave. 710 00:42:27,541 --> 00:42:28,981 Must've been the way you spooned 'em. 711 00:42:30,701 --> 00:42:31,860 Yes, darling? 712 00:42:31,941 --> 00:42:32,941 Coffee? 713 00:42:47,661 --> 00:42:49,581 You look cute as a chef. 714 00:42:49,661 --> 00:42:51,141 I like it better than the suit. 715 00:42:52,581 --> 00:42:56,061 If you'll let me explain, I know I'm just a cook, but I'm good at it. 716 00:42:57,501 --> 00:43:00,901 It means a lot to me, to be good at something, and if you just listened-- 717 00:43:00,981 --> 00:43:02,461 Billy, shut up. 718 00:43:05,300 --> 00:43:06,541 Do you know why I need you? 719 00:43:08,501 --> 00:43:11,461 Because you're the only thing in my life that makes me feel like a woman. 720 00:43:12,541 --> 00:43:16,661 Not a mum or an old carcass to be tossed on the scrap heap. 721 00:43:18,261 --> 00:43:20,181 You make me feel beautiful. 722 00:43:23,501 --> 00:43:25,701 You don't ever have to lie to me, 723 00:43:25,780 --> 00:43:27,820 'cause when I look at you, I don't see nothing. 724 00:43:27,901 --> 00:43:31,461 I see the person who saved me and keeps saving me. 725 00:43:33,780 --> 00:43:36,061 That doesn't mean that what you did wasn't stupid... 726 00:43:37,661 --> 00:43:40,181 but you don't see many men putting in that kind of effort 727 00:43:40,261 --> 00:43:42,181 to impress their woman, do you? 728 00:43:52,141 --> 00:43:53,181 You know what this is? 729 00:43:55,701 --> 00:43:57,300 What? 730 00:43:57,380 --> 00:43:59,261 This is what it feels like when you've made it. 731 00:44:01,900 --> 00:44:02,900 [sighs] 732 00:44:06,741 --> 00:44:08,820 [door rattles] 733 00:44:08,900 --> 00:44:10,541 Lucia, this is my wife. 734 00:44:10,621 --> 00:44:13,061 -Hey! -Hiya. 735 00:44:13,141 --> 00:44:14,261 -Nice to meet ya. -Nice to meet you. 736 00:44:14,340 --> 00:44:15,541 I've heard a lot about you. 737 00:44:15,621 --> 00:44:17,380 The guys, Jeff, Tom. 738 00:44:17,461 --> 00:44:18,981 -Nice to meet you. -[Billy] Growing up? 739 00:44:19,061 --> 00:44:21,380 I guess it's about making your own way. 740 00:44:21,461 --> 00:44:23,581 Knowing what you've got and what you need. 741 00:44:25,941 --> 00:44:26,900 Ahem! 742 00:44:26,981 --> 00:44:30,181 Saying you're wrong when you'd rather say nothing at all. 743 00:44:32,021 --> 00:44:33,900 Or maybe the secret to growing up 744 00:44:33,981 --> 00:44:36,541 is knowing when it's OK to let someone else look after you. 745 00:44:37,900 --> 00:44:39,461 Those two versions of yourself: 746 00:44:39,541 --> 00:44:41,581 who you are and who you'd like to be. 747 00:44:42,661 --> 00:44:45,101 I guess you're a success when they come a little closer together. 748 00:44:47,820 --> 00:44:52,780 When you can look at yourself and say, "I know who I am and it's OK." 749 00:44:55,380 --> 00:44:56,380 I'm OK. 750 00:45:01,900 --> 00:45:03,300 It's your big chance, kid. 751 00:45:03,380 --> 00:45:05,061 Her days of karaoke might be over. 752 00:45:05,141 --> 00:45:07,101 -[Patreesha] Louis! -[Avril] Pat! 753 00:45:07,181 --> 00:45:10,300 -[Chesney] So you stole the money? -Yeah, I stole it. 754 00:45:10,380 --> 00:45:11,380 [Mimi] Fuck are you playing at? 755 00:45:11,461 --> 00:45:12,701 -You're barred. -What? 756 00:45:12,780 --> 00:45:13,780 [sniffs] 757 00:45:13,860 --> 00:45:15,061 [Avril] I want you to kidnap my daughter. 758 00:45:15,141 --> 00:45:17,021 We should never have taken that money. 759 00:45:17,101 --> 00:45:19,101 [Patreesha] This is all you fucking care about! 760 00:45:20,820 --> 00:45:21,981 Don't! Oh! 761 00:45:23,900 --> 00:45:25,900 Also a funny story. 762 00:45:25,981 --> 00:45:27,581 [Mimi] Fucking pervert! 763 00:46:09,860 --> 00:46:11,941 Billy's really matured now, you know. 764 00:46:12,021 --> 00:46:13,461 ["Moi Je Joue" playing] 765 00:46:13,541 --> 00:46:15,860 [laughter] 83914

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