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1
00:00:05,781 --> 00:00:07,781
Look at me, right?
2
00:00:07,861 --> 00:00:09,541
And look at the Queen.
3
00:00:09,621 --> 00:00:14,141
I was never a fan until it occurred to me
how much me and Ma'am have in common.
4
00:00:14,221 --> 00:00:16,701
Bringing up kiddies
you can't remember the names of.
5
00:00:16,780 --> 00:00:20,140
I know she's not a single parent,
but she might as well be.
6
00:00:20,221 --> 00:00:24,581
Plus, the pair of us, we've stuck
to our guns, her literally sometimes,
7
00:00:24,661 --> 00:00:26,861
and flagshipped a dying breed.
8
00:00:26,940 --> 00:00:29,181
Admired and despised equally.
9
00:00:29,261 --> 00:00:34,621
Not for never lifting a finger, no,
for setting examples through extremity.
10
00:00:34,701 --> 00:00:37,421
And whether you're a bigwig on her
end or a bigwig on mine,
11
00:00:37,501 --> 00:00:39,501
you've still got all your dickheads
in the middle to deal with,
12
00:00:39,580 --> 00:00:41,421
snip, snip, snipping at your benefits.
13
00:00:41,501 --> 00:00:44,220
I mean, she can't not be looking
at me and thinking,
14
00:00:44,301 --> 00:00:46,021
"What's your secret, Frank?"
15
00:00:46,101 --> 00:00:49,141
I got shot of my kids' yonks back,
16
00:00:49,220 --> 00:00:51,461
whereas she's yet to see
the back of a single one.
17
00:00:51,540 --> 00:00:52,501
Fine!
18
00:00:52,580 --> 00:00:54,821
I've had to get out of bed on occasion
to make ends meet,
19
00:00:54,900 --> 00:00:58,061
whereas she, she's done
the whole thing from a chair.
20
00:01:00,101 --> 00:01:01,580
Oh, and a drink for the lady.
21
00:01:01,661 --> 00:01:02,980
Oh, sure, there's perks.
22
00:01:03,061 --> 00:01:04,140
But, look at her lot.
23
00:01:04,221 --> 00:01:06,621
Brian May prancing about on her roof.
24
00:01:06,700 --> 00:01:09,101
Now, look at my lot,
25
00:01:09,181 --> 00:01:13,140
we know how to throw
a proper fucking pa-a-rty!
26
00:01:18,381 --> 00:01:20,700
[people chattering]
27
00:01:22,021 --> 00:01:25,541
[Billy] If you knew
what other people thought of you,
28
00:01:25,621 --> 00:01:26,860
would you behave the same?
29
00:01:28,860 --> 00:01:32,581
The way I see it,
there's two versions of yourself.
30
00:01:32,661 --> 00:01:35,261
There's that you
that everyone else sees...
31
00:01:35,341 --> 00:01:37,661
you know, what they think of you.
32
00:01:38,901 --> 00:01:39,981
How they see you.
33
00:01:40,060 --> 00:01:41,941
-Wee-oh!
-[giggles]
34
00:01:43,901 --> 00:01:48,021
Then there's that you that you see,
what you really think about yourself.
35
00:01:48,101 --> 00:01:51,381
It's all about the rights of people,
the rights of men, the rights of women,
36
00:01:51,461 --> 00:01:53,901
not just about tarts under horses
at the derby.
37
00:01:56,181 --> 00:01:59,420
And sometimes, those two versions,
they're really different.
38
00:02:02,101 --> 00:02:03,981
-Twat!
-Dickhead!
39
00:02:05,780 --> 00:02:07,060
But sometimes, they're the same.
40
00:02:09,660 --> 00:02:11,901
It's all right being exactly
what people think you are
41
00:02:11,981 --> 00:02:15,781
if you're cool, like Rambo
or The Terminator,
42
00:02:15,861 --> 00:02:17,540
but who'd want to be Billy Tutton?
43
00:02:18,741 --> 00:02:20,341
No one, that's who.
44
00:02:21,861 --> 00:02:23,741
"No experience required.
45
00:02:23,820 --> 00:02:25,820
Make up to £1,000 per week.
46
00:02:25,901 --> 00:02:27,380
And car included."
47
00:02:27,461 --> 00:02:29,661
-Do you really think I can do it?
-No.
48
00:02:29,741 --> 00:02:32,021
[Mimi] Fix it or I'll have your balls.
49
00:02:32,100 --> 00:02:34,421
[Billy] Right. Go on, then.
Ask me one of them questions.
50
00:02:34,501 --> 00:02:35,701
What's going on?
51
00:02:35,781 --> 00:02:37,260
[Aidan] William here's sick
of being bone idle.
52
00:02:37,341 --> 00:02:39,540
-[whooshes]
-Since when?
53
00:02:40,901 --> 00:02:43,861
So, William, what are your strengths
and weaknesses?
54
00:02:46,181 --> 00:02:48,621
I've been knocked unconscious
maybe seven or eight times,
55
00:02:48,700 --> 00:02:50,301
and I've got no permanent brain injury.
56
00:02:51,700 --> 00:02:53,741
My weaknesses? Er, OK.
57
00:02:54,781 --> 00:02:55,700
[sighs]
58
00:02:55,781 --> 00:02:59,901
I'm not a very quick learner,
but when I get it, I've got it.
59
00:02:59,980 --> 00:03:02,380
And not even a crowbar to the skull
will make me forget it.
60
00:03:03,421 --> 00:03:05,260
-[chuckles]
-What do you think?
61
00:03:05,341 --> 00:03:07,341
I wouldn't build your hopes up.
62
00:03:07,421 --> 00:03:14,181
Besides which, you've already got
the most important job in the world,
63
00:03:14,260 --> 00:03:17,540
bringing up little Miss Poo-poo Pants.
64
00:03:17,621 --> 00:03:19,181
Yay! Go to Daddy!
65
00:03:20,420 --> 00:03:22,621
That's more your style, lad. Shit patrol.
66
00:03:24,540 --> 00:03:25,700
[door opens]
67
00:03:27,100 --> 00:03:28,301
[lips flapping]
68
00:03:28,380 --> 00:03:30,260
[imitates gunshot]
69
00:03:30,341 --> 00:03:31,861
[groans]
70
00:03:43,100 --> 00:03:44,621
What happened?
71
00:03:44,700 --> 00:03:46,461
I've got a strong personality.
72
00:03:46,540 --> 00:03:48,100
Kids struggle with that.
73
00:03:48,181 --> 00:03:49,181
Which kids?
74
00:03:50,540 --> 00:03:52,260
I can't help if you won't tell me.
75
00:03:52,341 --> 00:03:53,820
You can't help anyway.
76
00:03:55,901 --> 00:03:57,221
[splash]
77
00:03:57,301 --> 00:03:58,901
There's a case of lager
if you can clear that
78
00:03:58,980 --> 00:04:01,260
before the council finds out
what we've been dumping.
79
00:04:07,140 --> 00:04:09,021
All right, two cases of lager.
80
00:04:10,140 --> 00:04:11,341
[sighs]
81
00:04:11,420 --> 00:04:13,901
So how would your colleagues describe you?
82
00:04:13,980 --> 00:04:15,221
What?
83
00:04:15,301 --> 00:04:18,021
Oh, oh, right, er, well,
84
00:04:18,100 --> 00:04:20,021
no one really pays much attention to me.
85
00:04:20,100 --> 00:04:21,540
But this sales job would change all that
86
00:04:21,620 --> 00:04:23,461
'cause people respect you
if you're good at summat.
87
00:04:24,901 --> 00:04:26,021
What you doing?
88
00:04:26,101 --> 00:04:28,221
That's hanging, bro.
89
00:04:28,301 --> 00:04:29,261
-Now smell it.
-No!
90
00:04:29,341 --> 00:04:30,861
-Go on, give him a kiss!
-No, man!
91
00:04:32,261 --> 00:04:36,461
Just imagine, people thinking I done
all right, my wife looking at me, proud.
92
00:04:49,821 --> 00:04:51,341
Little bastards!
93
00:04:54,261 --> 00:04:56,021
I want to be more than balls-deep in shit.
94
00:05:00,541 --> 00:05:02,060
You peddling hummus?
95
00:05:02,141 --> 00:05:03,861
-[school bell rings]
-[sighs]
96
00:05:03,940 --> 00:05:06,461
It's a private matter, Mimi, so.
97
00:05:06,541 --> 00:05:07,781
When you gonna spit it out
98
00:05:07,861 --> 00:05:11,180
or do I have to go and listen to me
wire in Vernon's office?
99
00:05:14,141 --> 00:05:16,301
Thalia's having problems with other kids.
100
00:05:16,381 --> 00:05:17,740
Well, tell her to punch them.
101
00:05:17,821 --> 00:05:19,740
We're not fighting pitbulls!
102
00:05:19,821 --> 00:05:21,341
This is delicate, Mimi,
103
00:05:21,421 --> 00:05:24,180
and delicacy, no offence,
isn't really your thing, is it?
104
00:05:24,261 --> 00:05:25,981
[smirks]
105
00:05:26,060 --> 00:05:28,981
She was happy till we moved her here.
106
00:05:29,060 --> 00:05:30,221
I failed her!
107
00:05:30,301 --> 00:05:32,341
My son's been stoned for a year.
108
00:05:32,421 --> 00:05:33,620
I know failure.
109
00:05:33,701 --> 00:05:35,421
There's no reason to pick on her.
110
00:05:35,500 --> 00:05:39,500
She's only been here a few months
and it's not like she's fat or ugly.
111
00:05:39,581 --> 00:05:43,581
We take bullying very seriously,
extremely seriously.
112
00:05:43,661 --> 00:05:48,141
It's just, we can't do very much
about it, so...
113
00:05:48,221 --> 00:05:51,701
I want something done,
and if I have to go to the papers,
114
00:05:51,781 --> 00:05:52,740
to the Education Department--
115
00:05:52,821 --> 00:05:56,021
No! No, no, no, no, no! You misunderstand.
116
00:05:56,101 --> 00:05:58,101
Of course, we'll do everything we can.
117
00:05:58,180 --> 00:06:02,141
There's Government grants
for all this anti-bullying caper.
118
00:06:02,221 --> 00:06:04,380
-Mimi Tatton--
-Mimi Tutton.
119
00:06:04,461 --> 00:06:06,581
Bullying's right up her alley.
120
00:06:15,301 --> 00:06:18,060
-What do you know about sales?
-I've sold things before.
121
00:06:18,141 --> 00:06:21,301
Drugs, Billy, not security systems.
122
00:06:21,380 --> 00:06:22,781
Drugs, house alarms.
123
00:06:22,861 --> 00:06:25,861
Once you get to know your product,
you know how to sell it.
124
00:06:25,940 --> 00:06:27,901
I've got transferable skills.
125
00:06:27,981 --> 00:06:29,661
It's not like we need the money.
126
00:06:29,740 --> 00:06:30,701
It's not about the money.
127
00:06:30,781 --> 00:06:32,461
I'm supporting us both fine, aren't I?
128
00:06:32,541 --> 00:06:34,901
-Yeah, but--
-You don't want for nothing.
129
00:06:38,620 --> 00:06:40,101
[door closes heavily]
130
00:06:56,141 --> 00:06:57,620
[clock ticking]
131
00:07:00,940 --> 00:07:01,981
There you go.
132
00:07:04,820 --> 00:07:06,301
You all right, love?
133
00:07:06,380 --> 00:07:08,221
I've got a job interview at ten next door.
134
00:07:10,380 --> 00:07:11,620
Today's your day!
135
00:07:11,701 --> 00:07:13,141
Everyone expects me to fuck up.
136
00:07:14,701 --> 00:07:17,701
Try that thing where you imagine
the interviewer sitting on the toilet
137
00:07:17,781 --> 00:07:20,180
with their pants down,
like everybody else.
138
00:07:26,180 --> 00:07:27,341
[sighs]
139
00:07:30,341 --> 00:07:31,740
Wait!
140
00:07:31,820 --> 00:07:34,060
What if it's a woman and I get a stiffy?
141
00:07:37,021 --> 00:07:39,901
You're here
'cause you're all little shits.
142
00:07:39,981 --> 00:07:42,861
You target the weak, the pitiful
143
00:07:42,940 --> 00:07:45,940
and that little bald weirdo
with the alopecia.
144
00:07:46,021 --> 00:07:47,740
Let me be clear.
145
00:07:47,820 --> 00:07:49,701
I don't give two figs.
146
00:07:49,781 --> 00:07:53,461
But you gave Thalia Blanco
a proper shiner,
147
00:07:53,541 --> 00:07:57,101
and her mam's got
a gob the size of Africa.
148
00:07:57,180 --> 00:07:58,740
So, who was it?
149
00:08:01,981 --> 00:08:03,341
[sighs]
150
00:08:05,221 --> 00:08:07,500
Who was it?
151
00:08:17,341 --> 00:08:19,060
Thalia made fun of Jones.
152
00:08:19,141 --> 00:08:20,901
That kid with the bowel disorder?
153
00:08:20,981 --> 00:08:23,901
And he spazzed out and punched her!
154
00:08:23,981 --> 00:08:25,981
Let me get this straight,
155
00:08:26,060 --> 00:08:30,021
Thalia Blanco bullied a vulnerable child?
156
00:08:32,060 --> 00:08:33,180
[chuckles]
157
00:08:34,700 --> 00:08:35,700
Aargh!
158
00:08:39,421 --> 00:08:40,501
Fuck!
159
00:08:41,861 --> 00:08:46,220
Get out and don't come back,
you smack addict!
160
00:08:46,301 --> 00:08:48,381
Methadone, my balls!
161
00:08:50,861 --> 00:08:51,980
You all right, love?
162
00:08:52,061 --> 00:08:53,581
Interview not go well, then?
163
00:08:54,581 --> 00:08:56,021
Not your day either, is it?
164
00:08:56,100 --> 00:08:57,100
[sighs]
165
00:09:01,181 --> 00:09:03,061
[door creaks open]
166
00:09:03,141 --> 00:09:04,181
[door closes]
167
00:09:21,220 --> 00:09:23,661
We need to remember
bullying hurts everyone,
168
00:09:23,741 --> 00:09:26,061
not just the target,
but the bully as well.
169
00:09:26,141 --> 00:09:28,581
Schools have a duty of care
to protect kids,
170
00:09:28,661 --> 00:09:30,460
and maybe that should
mean excluding bullies.
171
00:09:30,541 --> 00:09:32,941
Yeah, believe me, if it was that easy
to get rid of them.
172
00:09:33,021 --> 00:09:35,340
-This is serious.
-Yes, of course it is.
173
00:09:35,421 --> 00:09:39,860
If Thalia engaged in bullying,
you'd support excluding her?
174
00:09:39,941 --> 00:09:41,061
One hundred percent.
175
00:09:41,141 --> 00:09:42,701
-Are you sure?
-Yes!
176
00:09:42,781 --> 00:09:43,781
Thalia's a bully.
177
00:09:45,100 --> 00:09:46,061
What?
178
00:09:46,141 --> 00:09:47,741
The kids don't like her
179
00:09:47,821 --> 00:09:53,901
because she repeatedly engages
in planned and orchestrated attempts
180
00:09:53,980 --> 00:09:56,621
at character assassination.
181
00:09:56,701 --> 00:09:58,581
Oh, dear.
182
00:09:58,661 --> 00:10:02,061
No, no. There must be a mistake.
183
00:10:02,141 --> 00:10:04,741
-She wouldn't, she couldn't--
-She did.
184
00:10:06,301 --> 00:10:07,460
But--
185
00:10:07,541 --> 00:10:10,701
Esther, there's no need
for denial anymore.
186
00:10:10,781 --> 00:10:12,501
We're not here to judge.
187
00:10:22,541 --> 00:10:25,100
[Lucia] Three full English,
table two, please!
188
00:10:25,181 --> 00:10:26,381
[bell rings]
189
00:10:26,460 --> 00:10:27,501
Hey, Billy?
190
00:10:28,541 --> 00:10:29,501
Yeah?
191
00:10:29,581 --> 00:10:31,421
You're doing fucking marvellous!
192
00:10:40,501 --> 00:10:42,421
[kids chattering]
193
00:10:46,261 --> 00:10:47,941
[Billy cheering]
194
00:10:48,021 --> 00:10:49,541
I'm employed!
195
00:10:49,621 --> 00:10:50,901
-Serious?
-Serious!
196
00:10:50,980 --> 00:10:53,860
-I'm a cook in the cafe next door.
-You're a cook?
197
00:10:53,941 --> 00:10:56,061
-Yeah, I make 150 squid a week.
-[chuckles]
198
00:10:56,141 --> 00:10:57,701
-In cash.
-That's it?
199
00:10:57,781 --> 00:10:59,061
And you have to go every day?
200
00:10:59,141 --> 00:11:00,061
Yeah, but--
201
00:11:00,141 --> 00:11:02,460
You're earning peanuts
for shovelling grease!
202
00:11:02,541 --> 00:11:03,901
Mimi will proper respect you now.
203
00:11:12,541 --> 00:11:13,980
Oi, you!
204
00:11:14,061 --> 00:11:16,061
-I look like a salesman, don't I?
-So?
205
00:11:16,141 --> 00:11:17,261
So who's to know any different?
206
00:11:17,340 --> 00:11:19,941
If I tell her I'm a salesman,
I'm a salesman, aren't I?
207
00:11:20,021 --> 00:11:21,381
Ha-ha.
208
00:11:21,460 --> 00:11:22,541
Boosh!
209
00:11:23,821 --> 00:11:25,141
Ha-ha!
210
00:11:29,621 --> 00:11:30,860
[indistinct speech on TV]
211
00:11:36,141 --> 00:11:38,901
Mr. Hard Lock Security at your service!
212
00:11:38,980 --> 00:11:42,220
You're joking.
They hired you in a recession?
213
00:11:42,301 --> 00:11:45,740
With no skills, no experience,
no training, you got a job?
214
00:11:45,821 --> 00:11:48,021
I blew the fucking roof off, babe!
215
00:11:48,100 --> 00:11:51,220
-Boosh! Phoo.
-[laughter]
216
00:12:09,340 --> 00:12:10,460
[door closes]
217
00:12:10,541 --> 00:12:11,941
[engine revs]
218
00:12:12,980 --> 00:12:15,381
[dramatic music plays]
219
00:12:23,980 --> 00:12:27,100
[Superman music plays]
220
00:12:43,941 --> 00:12:44,980
I'm Billy Tutton.
221
00:12:46,701 --> 00:12:47,701
And I'm a cook.
222
00:12:58,620 --> 00:13:00,901
What are you doing out here
on your own, love?
223
00:13:00,980 --> 00:13:02,821
Frank nicked me keys.
224
00:13:12,860 --> 00:13:13,980
What's that?
225
00:13:15,661 --> 00:13:18,421
Oh, it's broken.
It's stuck on this channel.
226
00:13:18,501 --> 00:13:19,860
It's foreign.
227
00:13:19,941 --> 00:13:21,661
Aerobics channel.
228
00:13:26,141 --> 00:13:28,901
You haven't been impersonating
some poor girl
229
00:13:28,980 --> 00:13:31,021
as the Minger from Notre Dame?
230
00:13:31,100 --> 00:13:34,701
But she is a minger.
Wait, I've got a picture.
231
00:13:35,821 --> 00:13:38,740
OK, she's not very pretty,
but that's not the point!
232
00:13:38,821 --> 00:13:41,381
Thalia, you shouldn't make fun of people.
233
00:13:41,460 --> 00:13:42,581
-You do.
-I do not.
234
00:13:42,661 --> 00:13:43,901
Yes, you do!
235
00:13:45,100 --> 00:13:47,100
[mimics Mimi]
"Come anywhere near me with that knob
236
00:13:47,181 --> 00:13:50,701
and I'll rag it off you
and I'll ram it up your arse!"
237
00:13:50,781 --> 00:13:52,620
[laughs]
238
00:13:52,701 --> 00:13:56,340
[mimics Frank] "Oh, Derilee,
Sherilee, Sherilee--"
239
00:13:56,421 --> 00:13:57,460
[laughs]
240
00:13:59,541 --> 00:14:02,021
[Lillian] Anybody seen me bloody glasses?
241
00:14:02,100 --> 00:14:05,141
Ah, well, yes but...
242
00:14:05,220 --> 00:14:06,620
it was wrong.
243
00:14:06,701 --> 00:14:09,620
If someone's ugly, don't point it out.
244
00:14:09,701 --> 00:14:12,261
Just say how nice her dress is instead.
245
00:14:12,340 --> 00:14:13,821
What if her dress is minging, too?
246
00:14:13,901 --> 00:14:16,661
Just say it's pretty anyway!
247
00:14:16,740 --> 00:14:20,460
-It's the teeniest lie.
-The truth's the truth, isn't it?
248
00:14:26,381 --> 00:14:28,261
There you go.
249
00:14:28,340 --> 00:14:29,860
What, really? I can have 'em?
250
00:14:29,941 --> 00:14:32,901
Three days after the sell-by date,
but if you cook 'em well.
251
00:14:37,701 --> 00:14:39,460
You all right, love?
252
00:14:39,541 --> 00:14:41,061
It's nothing, just...
253
00:14:43,740 --> 00:14:44,781
thanks.
254
00:14:49,860 --> 00:14:51,620
Six across.
255
00:14:51,701 --> 00:14:56,701
The Egyptian President, died 1970?
256
00:14:57,980 --> 00:14:58,980
Sheik Kebab.
257
00:15:01,381 --> 00:15:03,460
How do you spell it?
258
00:15:03,541 --> 00:15:04,701
Anyway you want, love.
259
00:15:04,781 --> 00:15:06,541
Nobody can know everything.
260
00:15:06,620 --> 00:15:07,581
Aargh!
261
00:15:07,661 --> 00:15:09,901
Nits, Lillian! Bloody nits!
262
00:15:13,500 --> 00:15:15,381
See, what you've got
to make clear to the client
263
00:15:15,460 --> 00:15:17,181
is you're not selling security.
264
00:15:17,261 --> 00:15:19,500
You're selling peace of mind.
And can you put a price on that?
265
00:15:21,021 --> 00:15:22,460
But you're not selling security.
266
00:15:22,541 --> 00:15:24,181
You're flipping eggs.
267
00:15:24,261 --> 00:15:25,901
This job has changed my life.
268
00:15:26,980 --> 00:15:28,821
Maybe I should buy cufflinks.
269
00:15:28,901 --> 00:15:30,141
Do you have a shirt that needs cufflinks?
270
00:15:31,181 --> 00:15:33,821
No, but just the thought of buying 'em
makes me feel proud,
271
00:15:33,901 --> 00:15:36,220
like I'm a man who needs cufflinks.
272
00:15:36,301 --> 00:15:37,661
But you don't need 'em!
273
00:15:37,740 --> 00:15:39,261
You don't have a shirt
'cause you don't have the job!
274
00:15:39,340 --> 00:15:40,781
Yeah, but nobody knows that, do they?
275
00:15:42,541 --> 00:15:44,220
I made it, all right?
276
00:15:44,301 --> 00:15:46,821
Billy Tutton has finally become a man.
277
00:15:48,701 --> 00:15:50,301
[clicking lighter]
278
00:15:54,100 --> 00:15:55,181
[clicks]
279
00:15:57,541 --> 00:15:59,301
So talk me through how you do it.
280
00:15:59,380 --> 00:16:01,380
Sell me security.
281
00:16:03,941 --> 00:16:06,061
Once you've got 'em sold on cameras,
282
00:16:06,141 --> 00:16:09,181
you can flog 'em dead bolts,
window guards.
283
00:16:09,261 --> 00:16:11,581
Give the windows a shake and look grave.
284
00:16:12,701 --> 00:16:13,821
[laughs]
285
00:16:13,901 --> 00:16:16,701
Shitting themselves
is exactly where you want 'em.
286
00:16:16,781 --> 00:16:18,500
I get 'em shitting their pants,
287
00:16:18,581 --> 00:16:21,581
I shake the windows and then look grave.
288
00:16:25,901 --> 00:16:27,901
You look fitter than James Bond
in that suit.
289
00:16:27,980 --> 00:16:29,500
Lucky me, eh?
290
00:16:29,581 --> 00:16:33,340
I've got me very own Hard Cock consultant.
291
00:16:33,421 --> 00:16:35,380
[Mimi chuckles]
292
00:16:35,460 --> 00:16:36,901
[zipper opens]
293
00:16:43,500 --> 00:16:44,821
I had started believing, you know...
294
00:16:46,740 --> 00:16:48,100
that I might actually be nothing.
295
00:16:48,181 --> 00:16:49,181
A nobody.
296
00:16:50,860 --> 00:16:53,100
Having a job doesn't make you somebody.
297
00:16:54,141 --> 00:16:55,181
You do that.
298
00:16:55,261 --> 00:16:57,620
Well, how am I somebody?
299
00:17:02,301 --> 00:17:06,501
Well, you've got a heart
the size of a horse, you pillock.
300
00:17:08,900 --> 00:17:13,461
You mean it wouldn't matter
if I didn't have the job, the suit...
301
00:17:14,620 --> 00:17:16,301
just me would be enough?
302
00:17:16,380 --> 00:17:18,900
I loved you penniless
in trainers, didn't I?
303
00:17:22,701 --> 00:17:24,701
[siren wailing in distance]
304
00:17:25,900 --> 00:17:27,581
Nice having the new car, though, eh?
305
00:17:29,061 --> 00:17:31,341
Oh, yeah. Yeah, the car.
306
00:17:36,660 --> 00:17:38,501
-[engine revs]
-[tyres screeching]
307
00:17:38,581 --> 00:17:40,501
["Boom" plays]
308
00:17:49,741 --> 00:17:50,821
[car lock chirps]
309
00:17:52,381 --> 00:17:53,420
You all right?
310
00:17:54,461 --> 00:17:55,781
Yeah, buddy.
311
00:17:58,021 --> 00:17:59,101
You all right?
312
00:18:04,061 --> 00:18:05,660
Yeah. I got you.
313
00:18:07,940 --> 00:18:09,101
[laughs]
314
00:18:10,541 --> 00:18:12,741
Yeah.
315
00:18:12,821 --> 00:18:13,861
Gimme that.
316
00:18:17,141 --> 00:18:18,301
Boosh!
317
00:18:22,180 --> 00:18:24,621
-What you playing at?
-A car?
318
00:18:24,701 --> 00:18:26,900
Well, how am I supposed
to make my sales without wheels?
319
00:18:26,981 --> 00:18:28,621
Billy, you're not a fucking salesman!
320
00:18:28,700 --> 00:18:29,861
That's why I'm only renting it.
321
00:18:29,940 --> 00:18:33,021
It's just a mid-range hatchback,
nothing flash.
322
00:18:33,101 --> 00:18:34,900
-How much?
-Two hundred quid a week.
323
00:18:34,981 --> 00:18:36,180
You only make 150!
324
00:18:36,261 --> 00:18:38,700
What's the point in being a hotshot
salesman if I'm not flush with cash?
325
00:18:38,781 --> 00:18:40,101
But you're not flush with cash!
326
00:18:40,180 --> 00:18:41,700
I know that, Einstein.
327
00:18:41,781 --> 00:18:43,940
I've got to project
an image of success, hasn't I?
328
00:18:46,301 --> 00:18:48,621
[door opens]
329
00:18:48,700 --> 00:18:49,821
Can I come in?
330
00:18:49,900 --> 00:18:53,501
Oh, sorry, pet,
but kids are full of filth.
331
00:18:53,581 --> 00:18:55,420
And I can't have that in my brothel.
332
00:18:55,501 --> 00:18:56,781
Tch, sorry.
333
00:19:00,861 --> 00:19:02,621
Your best champagne.
334
00:19:02,700 --> 00:19:03,861
Not got any.
335
00:19:03,940 --> 00:19:04,900
Lager then.
336
00:19:04,981 --> 00:19:06,741
He's got a car now.
337
00:19:06,821 --> 00:19:08,101
I'm wet with excitement.
338
00:19:08,180 --> 00:19:10,781
I'll have a lager
and a double vodka chaser on Billy,
339
00:19:10,861 --> 00:19:12,261
seeing as you're flush with cash.
340
00:19:12,341 --> 00:19:13,541
Drinks on Billy!
341
00:19:13,621 --> 00:19:16,381
[cheering]
342
00:19:16,461 --> 00:19:19,301
Nice to see a Chatsworth lad
making something of himself,
343
00:19:19,381 --> 00:19:21,900
not like the rest
of you inbred, lazy fucks.
344
00:19:24,461 --> 00:19:26,621
-What you doing?
-For the drinks.
345
00:19:28,660 --> 00:19:29,861
You're fucked now, Billyboy.
346
00:19:29,940 --> 00:19:31,660
You're gonna have to rob
a bank to keep this up.
347
00:19:31,741 --> 00:19:33,581
[thinking]
348
00:19:33,660 --> 00:19:36,261
Have to rob a bank to keep this up.
Have to rob a bank to keep this up.
349
00:19:43,420 --> 00:19:44,381
Really, though?
350
00:19:44,461 --> 00:19:45,861
Well, where else
are you going to get it from?
351
00:19:47,781 --> 00:19:49,501
[keys rattling]
352
00:19:49,581 --> 00:19:51,021
You don't use your keys, you dick.
353
00:19:51,101 --> 00:19:52,821
Well, how else are we going to get in?
354
00:19:57,940 --> 00:19:59,301
[thud]
355
00:19:59,381 --> 00:20:00,541
Like that.
356
00:20:08,101 --> 00:20:10,461
Stop messing about!
Start acting like a burglar!
357
00:20:12,741 --> 00:20:14,180
-[glass shatters]
-What you doing?
358
00:20:14,261 --> 00:20:15,861
Burglars don't respect property, do they?
359
00:20:15,940 --> 00:20:17,981
My aunt Harriet gave us
that for our wedding.
360
00:20:18,061 --> 00:20:19,940
Well, seeing as the burglar
don't know your Aunt Harriet,
361
00:20:20,021 --> 00:20:21,180
he wouldn't give a fuck, would he?
362
00:20:21,261 --> 00:20:23,141
Me keeping it real's well going
to save our arse!
363
00:20:23,221 --> 00:20:24,221
Right, right, right!
364
00:20:24,301 --> 00:20:26,981
Make it look real,
just hurry the fuck up about it!
365
00:20:27,061 --> 00:20:29,021
Maybe I should just shit on the bed?
366
00:20:29,101 --> 00:20:30,781
No! Well, piss in the sink?
367
00:20:30,861 --> 00:20:31,821
[sighs]
368
00:20:31,900 --> 00:20:35,461
Making it real means cash, jewellery,
things people would steal.
369
00:20:47,781 --> 00:20:49,501
What you doing? I said no pissing!
370
00:20:49,581 --> 00:20:50,741
You said not in the sink.
371
00:20:50,821 --> 00:20:51,940
This is just the hallway.
372
00:20:55,821 --> 00:20:56,981
[door closes]
373
00:21:01,660 --> 00:21:02,981
"Lie," she says!
374
00:21:03,061 --> 00:21:05,501
-What happened?
-I did just as you said.
375
00:21:05,581 --> 00:21:07,621
I said be nice to people.
How were you nice?
376
00:21:07,700 --> 00:21:11,021
I told Stuart that Bec probably liked him
'cause he likes her.
377
00:21:11,101 --> 00:21:12,420
He were well happy.
378
00:21:12,501 --> 00:21:13,660
What's wrong with that?
379
00:21:13,741 --> 00:21:16,741
Bec kicked him in the balls
when he tried to kiss her.
380
00:21:16,821 --> 00:21:18,101
So she doesn't like him?
381
00:21:18,180 --> 00:21:19,940
Course not! He's a skidmark.
382
00:21:20,021 --> 00:21:21,981
But how do you think Stuart now feels?
383
00:21:23,021 --> 00:21:24,861
This is how he feels!
384
00:21:24,940 --> 00:21:26,541
You are a terrible mother.
385
00:21:37,221 --> 00:21:38,700
Almost two grand. I'm laughing.
386
00:21:39,700 --> 00:21:43,261
Right, what we're going to do is keep
the gear here till it's safe to move and--
387
00:21:43,341 --> 00:21:45,061
You'll have to find somewhere else
to put all this shit.
388
00:21:45,141 --> 00:21:47,261
You'd have to be a fucking idiot
to want any of it.
389
00:21:49,741 --> 00:21:52,101
[energetic music playing]
390
00:21:53,981 --> 00:21:55,141
Can you not go any faster?
391
00:21:55,221 --> 00:21:56,581
My legs are shorter than yours.
392
00:21:56,660 --> 00:21:58,981
-Just make yours go quicker!
-Fuck off!
393
00:22:19,700 --> 00:22:20,981
-You all right?
-[both] You all right?
394
00:22:21,061 --> 00:22:22,061
You all right?
395
00:22:22,141 --> 00:22:23,460
[dog barking in distance]
396
00:22:33,821 --> 00:22:34,900
[knocks on door]
397
00:22:36,621 --> 00:22:39,061
[bangs on door]
398
00:22:41,621 --> 00:22:44,141
-I heard you need a new TV.
-No.
399
00:22:44,221 --> 00:22:46,700
[Stella] 'Cause yours is stuck
on foreign aerobics?
400
00:22:48,101 --> 00:22:50,180
Just take it! Early Christmas.
401
00:22:59,381 --> 00:23:03,021
Since I got you a new TV,
maybe we could be friends?
402
00:23:34,741 --> 00:23:35,900
[clatters]
403
00:23:38,541 --> 00:23:41,021
Come on. It's OK.
404
00:23:41,101 --> 00:23:42,981
No, Billy, it's not OK!
405
00:23:45,341 --> 00:23:47,501
I had no idea
that locket meant so much to you.
406
00:23:48,900 --> 00:23:51,180
It's the only thing me mam
ever gave to me,
407
00:23:51,261 --> 00:23:53,221
the only good memory of her that I've got.
408
00:23:54,541 --> 00:23:57,341
-When I find the fucker who did this--
-It's in the past now, babe.
409
00:23:57,420 --> 00:23:58,900
Just forget it.
410
00:23:58,981 --> 00:24:00,900
I'll never forget this, Billy.
411
00:24:00,981 --> 00:24:03,460
Someone has taken
a massive dump on our lives.
412
00:24:03,541 --> 00:24:05,940
It was just a little piss.
I got the Febreze straight on it.
413
00:24:06,021 --> 00:24:11,581
When I find the fucker
who's done this, I'll rip him apart,
414
00:24:11,660 --> 00:24:14,420
limb from fucking limb!
415
00:24:25,781 --> 00:24:28,460
-How did they know where the money was?
-[soothing music plays]
416
00:24:28,541 --> 00:24:30,700
Tonight's about emptying
your mind of worries.
417
00:24:31,700 --> 00:24:33,420
Oh, turn this shite off.
418
00:24:33,501 --> 00:24:35,861
It's more irritating
than a bloody yeast infection.
419
00:24:37,700 --> 00:24:38,821
[clicks, music stops]
420
00:24:46,621 --> 00:24:48,381
It's someone who knows us.
421
00:24:48,460 --> 00:24:52,180
Who knows we wouldn't be home,
knows we've got cash.
422
00:24:53,221 --> 00:24:55,261
I bet it's one of them bastards
from the Jockey.
423
00:24:56,541 --> 00:24:58,981
Can't we just pretend like
none of this happened?
424
00:25:00,180 --> 00:25:01,821
Probably bought the fucker a drink.
425
00:25:02,821 --> 00:25:05,301
[sighs]
426
00:25:05,381 --> 00:25:07,741
Well, drink up, sunshine.
427
00:25:07,821 --> 00:25:10,741
Because you'll be lucky to shit
through a straw
428
00:25:10,821 --> 00:25:12,660
when my boys are finished with ya.
429
00:25:13,861 --> 00:25:16,061
Just forget it now.
You'll never find them.
430
00:25:17,061 --> 00:25:18,061
We'll find them.
431
00:25:18,141 --> 00:25:22,900
If we have to rough up every scroat
from here to China, we'll find them.
432
00:25:22,981 --> 00:25:25,821
[chimes]
433
00:26:00,220 --> 00:26:01,861
[door opens, closes]
434
00:26:03,180 --> 00:26:04,341
They know!
435
00:26:04,420 --> 00:26:05,621
Who knows?
436
00:26:05,700 --> 00:26:06,981
-Jamie and Shane.
-We're fucked!
437
00:26:07,061 --> 00:26:09,420
Well, if they knew, Mimi'd know,
and we'd already be dead.
438
00:26:09,501 --> 00:26:10,900
If I could just give her back the locket.
439
00:26:10,981 --> 00:26:12,501
Oh, yeah, sign your own death warrant?
440
00:26:12,581 --> 00:26:13,781
Say I found it in the house somewhere.
441
00:26:13,861 --> 00:26:15,781
The burglars dropped it on their way out.
442
00:26:15,861 --> 00:26:19,420
Well, so now we're not just burglars,
we're shit burglars?
443
00:26:19,501 --> 00:26:20,541
Sound.
444
00:26:22,460 --> 00:26:24,940
-Where is it?
-Maybe you did drop it, you useless dick.
445
00:26:25,021 --> 00:26:27,861
Don't call me useless!
Anyway, you call this secure?
446
00:26:27,940 --> 00:26:29,741
I'm not the cunt
who works in security, am I?
447
00:26:29,821 --> 00:26:32,861
Just dump the lot somewhere
no one will ever find it.
448
00:26:32,940 --> 00:26:34,021
Dump it?
449
00:26:34,101 --> 00:26:35,381
So I take all the risk
hiding all the stuff,
450
00:26:35,460 --> 00:26:36,621
and now I'm supposed
to walk away with nothing?
451
00:26:36,700 --> 00:26:38,420
What do you want?
452
00:26:38,501 --> 00:26:39,781
-A grand.
-Fuck off!
453
00:26:39,861 --> 00:26:42,741
-That's my wife's money!
-Which we stole, 50/50.
454
00:26:47,940 --> 00:26:50,501
-That's not even a 100 quid!
-Aargh!
455
00:26:50,581 --> 00:26:52,861
Please, just get rid of it or we're dead.
456
00:26:54,101 --> 00:26:58,301
But it has to be someone from round here
or how'd they know to target our house?
457
00:26:58,381 --> 00:27:00,501
We've tried all the usual suspects.
Nothing.
458
00:27:00,581 --> 00:27:03,460
Salmonella Sam's screwing some bird
that's not his wife,
459
00:27:03,541 --> 00:27:06,581
but he definitely didn't rob ya,
and he doesn't know who did.
460
00:27:06,660 --> 00:27:08,381
Steal the biscuits as well, did they?
461
00:27:08,460 --> 00:27:09,781
It's probably just kids.
462
00:27:09,861 --> 00:27:10,821
How do you reckon that?
463
00:27:10,900 --> 00:27:13,341
It's hardly some mastermind criminal,
is it?
464
00:27:13,420 --> 00:27:15,700
What sort of fucking idiot
steals a toaster?
465
00:27:15,781 --> 00:27:17,141
It's the placemats that get me!
466
00:27:17,220 --> 00:27:20,861
Might have been a fucking idiot,
but looks like he's got away with it,
467
00:27:20,940 --> 00:27:22,460
and right under your noses.
468
00:27:24,301 --> 00:27:25,821
What? I'm just saying.
469
00:27:25,900 --> 00:27:28,460
I've tried every pawn shop in Manchester.
470
00:27:28,541 --> 00:27:30,061
No one's tried to shift the gear.
471
00:27:30,141 --> 00:27:33,741
No one's used the money to pay off
any debts or buy anything flash.
472
00:27:33,821 --> 00:27:36,021
Maybe we should just move on now,
eh, babe?
473
00:27:36,101 --> 00:27:37,021
Put it behind us.
474
00:27:37,101 --> 00:27:39,660
Not till I feel safe again in me own home.
475
00:27:39,741 --> 00:27:42,861
Get Hard Lock round, I want the works.
476
00:27:42,940 --> 00:27:43,940
Hard Lock?
477
00:27:44,021 --> 00:27:47,301
Security so tight even a fart
can't slip out.
478
00:27:49,821 --> 00:27:52,541
You've done your best
but my social alienation
479
00:27:52,621 --> 00:27:54,021
is bigger than both of us.
480
00:27:54,101 --> 00:27:55,981
We need to talk solutions.
481
00:27:57,341 --> 00:28:00,420
-Home school.
-No, Thalia.
482
00:28:00,501 --> 00:28:04,021
Just until I'm 18 and then I'll move
to Israel, where I'll be safe.
483
00:28:04,101 --> 00:28:06,621
Home school kids are friendless freaks.
484
00:28:06,700 --> 00:28:08,541
I am a friendless freak!
485
00:28:08,621 --> 00:28:13,741
Why do you think they call me
"Saddo Saddo No Friends Blanco?"
486
00:28:13,821 --> 00:28:14,981
Aargh.
487
00:28:16,341 --> 00:28:20,220
You are a great kid
and you will make friends, I promise.
488
00:28:20,301 --> 00:28:23,741
Even the bald kid has more status.
489
00:28:23,821 --> 00:28:26,381
You do impressions of people
and make friends,
490
00:28:26,460 --> 00:28:27,861
but when I do it, they hate me.
491
00:28:28,900 --> 00:28:30,900
But I don't do it to their faces.
492
00:28:30,980 --> 00:28:32,581
So I don't hurt their feelings.
493
00:28:32,660 --> 00:28:33,861
So that makes it all right?
494
00:28:33,940 --> 00:28:35,821
No! That's not what I meant.
495
00:28:35,900 --> 00:28:38,141
I'm honest and upfront
496
00:28:38,220 --> 00:28:41,061
and you sneak around being cruel
to people behind their backs.
497
00:28:46,180 --> 00:28:48,261
You know what? You're right.
498
00:28:50,501 --> 00:28:52,821
Maybe we both need to say sorry.
499
00:28:53,821 --> 00:28:55,341
What can I get you?
500
00:28:55,420 --> 00:28:56,621
I'm here to say I'm sorry.
501
00:28:56,700 --> 00:28:57,741
What for?
502
00:29:01,301 --> 00:29:04,061
I do this impression of you
behind your back.
503
00:29:04,141 --> 00:29:06,621
I'm not proud of myself
and I want to apologise.
504
00:29:06,700 --> 00:29:08,141
Impression?
505
00:29:08,220 --> 00:29:11,381
The point is, I'm sorry
and it won't happen again.
506
00:29:11,460 --> 00:29:13,341
Wait a minute.
507
00:29:14,621 --> 00:29:16,861
-What?
-Well, show me.
508
00:29:16,940 --> 00:29:17,900
Show you?
509
00:29:17,980 --> 00:29:19,700
No, I'm not doing that.
510
00:29:19,781 --> 00:29:21,861
Come on. I can take a joke, can't I?
511
00:29:24,341 --> 00:29:25,261
[mimics] "What can I get you?
512
00:29:25,341 --> 00:29:27,301
Fuck's sake, Karen,
I can take a joke, can't I?"
513
00:29:28,581 --> 00:29:30,220
And then you do your nostril thing.
514
00:29:33,301 --> 00:29:34,980
See, you're doing it right now!
[chuckles]
515
00:29:38,420 --> 00:29:39,660
Yeah. Good one.
516
00:29:41,341 --> 00:29:43,541
People want to forgive, Thalia.
517
00:29:43,621 --> 00:29:45,381
They just need to know you're sorry.
518
00:29:46,781 --> 00:29:49,821
I started in the biz doing impressions.
519
00:29:49,900 --> 00:29:51,980
Go on, then, let's see what you can do.
520
00:29:56,741 --> 00:29:59,460
[mimics] "Voice of an angel, me.
521
00:29:59,541 --> 00:30:01,381
Beyoncé can rim me!"
522
00:30:05,501 --> 00:30:07,980
As I said, I'm very sorry.
523
00:30:09,420 --> 00:30:10,420
[mimics] "They can't refuse a mosque
524
00:30:10,501 --> 00:30:13,341
'cause little fat skinheads march
from one dole office to another,
525
00:30:13,420 --> 00:30:14,781
the bald little twats."
526
00:30:16,220 --> 00:30:17,301
[groans]
527
00:30:22,861 --> 00:30:23,940
That went well.
528
00:30:32,381 --> 00:30:34,541
-Can I come in?
-No, pet.
529
00:30:37,980 --> 00:30:40,861
Oh, you shouldn't have, sweetheart.
530
00:30:40,940 --> 00:30:41,861
Thank you.
531
00:30:41,940 --> 00:30:43,980
Now can we be friends?
532
00:30:44,061 --> 00:30:47,621
You need friends your age
or you'll end up a weirdo.
533
00:30:47,700 --> 00:30:49,541
And believe me, I know...
534
00:30:49,621 --> 00:30:50,821
Thank you.
535
00:30:56,061 --> 00:30:57,781
Are you sure you know what you're doing?
536
00:31:01,460 --> 00:31:02,900
[screams]
537
00:31:02,980 --> 00:31:04,220
Fuck!
538
00:31:06,581 --> 00:31:08,541
So how much did all this cost?
539
00:31:08,621 --> 00:31:10,021
[sighs]
540
00:31:10,101 --> 00:31:16,660
Two cameras, hard locks for the front
and back doors, and this.
541
00:31:16,741 --> 00:31:17,741
-[turns on]
-[dogs barking]
542
00:31:17,821 --> 00:31:19,381
[turns off]
543
00:31:21,101 --> 00:31:22,460
Er, about 800 quid.
544
00:31:23,900 --> 00:31:26,220
-Isn't that your car?
-What?
545
00:31:29,741 --> 00:31:31,021
Fuck!
546
00:31:31,101 --> 00:31:32,781
[door rattles]
547
00:31:32,861 --> 00:31:34,501
Fuck! Billy.
548
00:31:34,581 --> 00:31:35,861
[keys rattle]
549
00:31:44,301 --> 00:31:45,301
-[engine revs]
-Where you going, bro?
550
00:31:45,381 --> 00:31:48,061
-You should've kept up the payments.
-[tyres squealing]
551
00:31:48,141 --> 00:31:50,141
That's my car, you dick! Aargh!
552
00:31:52,541 --> 00:31:54,141
That your car?
553
00:31:54,220 --> 00:31:55,900
Yeah, it's just going in for a checkup.
554
00:31:55,980 --> 00:31:58,381
-Oh. Surprise!
-[keys rattle]
555
00:31:58,460 --> 00:31:59,781
Welcome to your newly-secured home.
556
00:31:59,861 --> 00:32:01,900
Got the Hard Lock crew in today.
557
00:32:01,980 --> 00:32:03,061
[sighs]
558
00:32:13,740 --> 00:32:15,940
If it weren't for Billy,
I'd have gone mad.
559
00:32:16,021 --> 00:32:17,501
Nah, I haven't done much really.
560
00:32:17,581 --> 00:32:22,821
You've been a bloody rock, staying calm,
fixing up the house safe.
561
00:32:23,821 --> 00:32:27,420
I'd have pummelled the first scally
I thought looked at me funny.
562
00:32:27,501 --> 00:32:28,980
Could be somebody we know.
563
00:32:29,061 --> 00:32:30,381
Maybe even someone here.
564
00:32:38,101 --> 00:32:39,061
What can I get you, darlin'?
565
00:32:39,141 --> 00:32:40,501
Vodka and coke, please.
566
00:32:43,301 --> 00:32:45,700
-Where d'you get that?
-What?
567
00:32:45,781 --> 00:32:47,581
-That's me ma's locket!
-What?
568
00:32:47,660 --> 00:32:49,061
What you on about?
569
00:32:49,141 --> 00:32:51,980
-Get off me!
-Where d'you get it?
570
00:32:52,061 --> 00:32:55,381
No lies or I'll have your twat
on a barbeque!
571
00:32:55,460 --> 00:32:56,621
Where d'you get it?
572
00:33:02,021 --> 00:33:03,501
[indistinct conversations]
573
00:33:16,781 --> 00:33:18,420
[knocks on door]
574
00:33:18,501 --> 00:33:20,101
[indistinct conversations]
575
00:33:33,141 --> 00:33:34,700
[Mimi] What d'you know about this?
576
00:33:34,781 --> 00:33:36,021
-My locket?
-[Mimi] No!
577
00:33:36,101 --> 00:33:37,341
My locket!
578
00:33:37,420 --> 00:33:40,861
Is she giving 'em to everyone?
I thought I was special.
579
00:33:40,940 --> 00:33:42,541
[Mimi] That's my TV!
580
00:33:42,621 --> 00:33:43,740
Who gave it to you?
581
00:33:44,740 --> 00:33:46,101
[Lillian] You can't be angry with her.
She didn't mean--
582
00:33:46,180 --> 00:33:47,341
Who?
583
00:33:47,420 --> 00:33:49,180
Stella.
584
00:33:49,261 --> 00:33:52,420
[Mimi] A six-year-old didn't smash
my front door open.
585
00:33:52,501 --> 00:33:53,821
[Jamie] Or carry that.
586
00:33:55,460 --> 00:33:57,101
-Where do you think you're going?
-I didn't do anything!
587
00:33:57,180 --> 00:33:58,141
Ey?
588
00:33:58,220 --> 00:33:59,781
Then why the fuck
are you scarpering then, eh?
589
00:33:59,861 --> 00:34:03,460
You stole from me? From your friend?
590
00:34:03,541 --> 00:34:04,460
Billy?
591
00:34:04,541 --> 00:34:08,381
[Mimi] That's the lowest,
most despicable... Break his arm.
592
00:34:08,461 --> 00:34:10,381
[groans] Billy made me!
593
00:34:11,461 --> 00:34:14,541
Why would me own husband steal from me?
594
00:34:14,621 --> 00:34:15,860
Tell him, Billy.
595
00:34:15,941 --> 00:34:19,541
He's insulted you, he's insulted me.
Tell him.
596
00:34:19,621 --> 00:34:21,421
[dramatic music playing]
597
00:34:28,981 --> 00:34:31,660
You wouldn't, I know you wouldn't.
598
00:34:39,381 --> 00:34:40,901
[door opens]
599
00:34:40,981 --> 00:34:42,501
[door closes]
600
00:34:42,581 --> 00:34:45,740
Babe! Babe!
601
00:34:45,820 --> 00:34:47,220
Just stop!
602
00:34:47,300 --> 00:34:48,581
[screams]
603
00:35:00,421 --> 00:35:01,461
Why?
604
00:35:03,141 --> 00:35:06,101
'Cause like, when you think
of the great men in history,
605
00:35:06,181 --> 00:35:10,860
like Martin Luther King,
Winston Churchill, Roy Keane.
606
00:35:10,941 --> 00:35:12,621
What the fuck you on about?
607
00:35:12,701 --> 00:35:16,101
They stood for something! They did things.
608
00:35:16,181 --> 00:35:17,860
That's why I became a salesman.
609
00:35:17,941 --> 00:35:19,820
Well, a cook.
610
00:35:20,901 --> 00:35:22,741
Is anything you've told me true?
611
00:35:23,501 --> 00:35:24,541
I love you.
612
00:35:25,981 --> 00:35:28,581
I believed in you, Billy,
you fucking idiot!
613
00:35:28,661 --> 00:35:30,061
I know, babe, I'm sorry.
614
00:35:30,141 --> 00:35:33,981
Even though I knew I shouldn't.
You, a salesman? You?
615
00:35:34,061 --> 00:35:35,661
I just wanted to show you,
616
00:35:35,741 --> 00:35:38,621
the way you looked at me when you thought,
617
00:35:39,741 --> 00:35:42,381
it felt good, like, I might be a man.
618
00:35:45,141 --> 00:35:48,141
Anytime you wanna be a man, Billy,
you know what you have to do?
619
00:35:49,501 --> 00:35:52,021
Don't play at it, just be one.
620
00:36:05,340 --> 00:36:06,581
[birds chirping]
621
00:36:09,141 --> 00:36:11,221
If it isn't the littlest Supreme,
622
00:36:11,300 --> 00:36:13,981
this an encore performance?
623
00:36:14,061 --> 00:36:16,381
What do you know
about living with bipolar?
624
00:36:17,780 --> 00:36:21,701
And then I guess, Dad went inside,
she just lost the plot, you know?
625
00:36:23,860 --> 00:36:27,741
And then that's when she went off her meds
and the drinking really started.
626
00:36:29,981 --> 00:36:32,741
I think when she started sleeping
with Frank for comfort.
627
00:36:32,820 --> 00:36:34,261
Oh.
628
00:36:34,340 --> 00:36:35,941
Allah be merciful.
629
00:36:37,141 --> 00:36:38,300
Yeah.
630
00:36:38,381 --> 00:36:39,541
Rock bottom.
631
00:36:41,261 --> 00:36:42,981
But she'd never ever have done it
632
00:36:43,061 --> 00:36:45,181
if she hadn't been completely
off her tree,
633
00:36:45,261 --> 00:36:47,141
so can you forgive her?
634
00:37:10,581 --> 00:37:12,340
So you got my things back?
635
00:37:12,421 --> 00:37:14,421
Most of 'em.
636
00:37:14,501 --> 00:37:17,021
Can't even fucking do that right.
637
00:37:17,101 --> 00:37:19,901
Didn't have to bother with the juicer,
it never worked.
638
00:37:21,141 --> 00:37:23,181
It does now. I fixed it.
639
00:37:27,780 --> 00:37:29,901
I'm going to pay the rest back
in instalments.
640
00:37:31,101 --> 00:37:33,340
I think we should live apart for a while.
641
00:37:34,860 --> 00:37:36,780
I need space.
642
00:37:48,261 --> 00:37:49,661
[door closes]
643
00:37:49,741 --> 00:37:51,860
This is the life, innit?
644
00:37:51,941 --> 00:37:53,621
[gunfire on TV]
645
00:37:53,701 --> 00:37:57,661
A night in with the lads,
a few beers, a few laughs.
646
00:37:57,741 --> 00:37:59,541
-[farts]
-[sighs]
647
00:38:02,181 --> 00:38:03,941
I bet she expects me
to come crawling back.
648
00:38:04,021 --> 00:38:07,541
You know, slither in on my belly,
beg her for forgiveness.
649
00:38:07,621 --> 00:38:10,421
Never apologise, never explain.
Words to live by.
650
00:38:10,501 --> 00:38:13,421
Well, I tried to explain,
but she wouldn't listen.
651
00:38:13,501 --> 00:38:16,181
So try again, women love persistence.
652
00:38:16,261 --> 00:38:19,101
Calling your right hand Sue
doesn't make you an expert
653
00:38:19,181 --> 00:38:20,820
on feminine nature.
654
00:38:20,901 --> 00:38:24,421
I'm a master of my own destiny at last,
answering to no one.
655
00:38:24,501 --> 00:38:25,701
This is my opportunity to grow.
656
00:38:25,780 --> 00:38:27,661
-[knocks on door]
-Wonderful!
657
00:38:27,741 --> 00:38:30,181
Now fuck off and grow somewhere quietly,
I've got company.
658
00:38:33,101 --> 00:38:34,701
Ah!
659
00:38:34,780 --> 00:38:36,981
We meet again, my Pussy Galores.
660
00:38:37,061 --> 00:38:39,421
Ready to shake and stir your cocktini.
661
00:38:54,380 --> 00:38:56,981
It's none of my business, but are you OK?
662
00:38:57,061 --> 00:38:58,541
It's none of your business.
663
00:39:00,061 --> 00:39:01,261
[laughter in distance]
664
00:39:04,461 --> 00:39:06,380
You don't ever hear a woman say that,
do you?
665
00:39:06,461 --> 00:39:11,141
"I fucked up but it's all your fault
'cause I didn't feel woman enough."
666
00:39:11,221 --> 00:39:13,701
-Bollocks!
-What use is "sorry" anyway?
667
00:39:13,780 --> 00:39:15,061
Nothing ever gets wiped clean.
668
00:39:15,141 --> 00:39:17,340
Then, they disappear
before you can leave 'em first.
669
00:39:17,421 --> 00:39:20,421
Am I meant to apologise
for being a strong woman?
670
00:39:21,461 --> 00:39:24,541
Well, he can shove his sorrys up
his good-for-nothing arse.
671
00:39:25,581 --> 00:39:26,901
Fuck him!
672
00:39:26,981 --> 00:39:27,981
[both] Fuck him.
673
00:39:32,340 --> 00:39:34,061
[loud laughter]
674
00:40:00,860 --> 00:40:02,741
[people laughing]
675
00:40:17,101 --> 00:40:18,141
On the house.
676
00:40:21,661 --> 00:40:24,501
Mental illness is nothing
to be ashamed of.
677
00:40:24,581 --> 00:40:25,981
It's not?
678
00:40:26,061 --> 00:40:28,300
Thalia, don't be angry with her.
679
00:40:28,380 --> 00:40:30,380
The way she's holding up,
she's a little trouper.
680
00:40:31,461 --> 00:40:33,181
She's told us what you've been through.
681
00:40:33,261 --> 00:40:35,701
We are all 100% behind you.
682
00:40:42,300 --> 00:40:43,340
I'll get a drink.
683
00:40:50,300 --> 00:40:52,380
If you've got a psychiatric disorder,
684
00:40:52,461 --> 00:40:56,061
people are falling over themselves
being understanding!
685
00:40:56,141 --> 00:40:57,981
But did you have to say I was bipolar?
686
00:40:58,981 --> 00:41:01,541
You can't always lie
your way out of trouble, you know.
687
00:41:01,621 --> 00:41:04,340
I know, but they felt so sorry for you.
688
00:41:04,421 --> 00:41:08,741
And you should have seen their faces
when I said you were shagging Frank.
689
00:41:08,820 --> 00:41:10,101
What?
690
00:41:12,780 --> 00:41:13,941
Billy said I should return...
691
00:41:15,300 --> 00:41:17,181
Actually, it was more my idea but...
692
00:41:31,621 --> 00:41:33,261
Celery and kiwi.
693
00:41:33,340 --> 00:41:35,021
I've got into juicing.
694
00:41:38,101 --> 00:41:40,181
I'm sorry about, you know,
695
00:41:40,261 --> 00:41:42,780
I mean, the piss in the hallway
was only meant for it to be realistic.
696
00:41:42,860 --> 00:41:44,981
There was no bad feelings behind it.
697
00:41:46,701 --> 00:41:48,300
Look, I'm completely on your side,
698
00:41:48,380 --> 00:41:50,061
you're better off without that dumb prick.
699
00:41:50,141 --> 00:41:53,340
I told Billy from the beginning, "Mimi's
not going to be impressed by sales."
700
00:41:55,101 --> 00:41:58,780
So the only reason he went for that job
was to try and impress me?
701
00:41:58,860 --> 00:42:01,581
And then the thick twat got himself
in deeper by renting a car.
702
00:42:01,661 --> 00:42:03,501
Of course, he couldn't afford it
on his cook's salary.
703
00:42:05,181 --> 00:42:06,701
He really is a cook?
704
00:42:08,621 --> 00:42:10,621
So the only solution
he's got is to rob from his own house.
705
00:42:11,860 --> 00:42:13,901
[both chuckle]
706
00:42:18,621 --> 00:42:21,661
Table number six says compliments
to the chef.
707
00:42:21,741 --> 00:42:22,780
It was only beans on toast.
708
00:42:22,860 --> 00:42:24,981
Well, how did you do the beans?
709
00:42:25,061 --> 00:42:26,101
In the microwave.
710
00:42:27,541 --> 00:42:28,981
Must've been the way you spooned 'em.
711
00:42:30,701 --> 00:42:31,860
Yes, darling?
712
00:42:31,941 --> 00:42:32,941
Coffee?
713
00:42:47,661 --> 00:42:49,581
You look cute as a chef.
714
00:42:49,661 --> 00:42:51,141
I like it better than the suit.
715
00:42:52,581 --> 00:42:56,061
If you'll let me explain, I know
I'm just a cook, but I'm good at it.
716
00:42:57,501 --> 00:43:00,901
It means a lot to me, to be good
at something, and if you just listened--
717
00:43:00,981 --> 00:43:02,461
Billy, shut up.
718
00:43:05,300 --> 00:43:06,541
Do you know why I need you?
719
00:43:08,501 --> 00:43:11,461
Because you're the only thing in my life
that makes me feel like a woman.
720
00:43:12,541 --> 00:43:16,661
Not a mum or an old carcass
to be tossed on the scrap heap.
721
00:43:18,261 --> 00:43:20,181
You make me feel beautiful.
722
00:43:23,501 --> 00:43:25,701
You don't ever have to lie to me,
723
00:43:25,780 --> 00:43:27,820
'cause when I look at you,
I don't see nothing.
724
00:43:27,901 --> 00:43:31,461
I see the person who saved me
and keeps saving me.
725
00:43:33,780 --> 00:43:36,061
That doesn't mean
that what you did wasn't stupid...
726
00:43:37,661 --> 00:43:40,181
but you don't see many men
putting in that kind of effort
727
00:43:40,261 --> 00:43:42,181
to impress their woman, do you?
728
00:43:52,141 --> 00:43:53,181
You know what this is?
729
00:43:55,701 --> 00:43:57,300
What?
730
00:43:57,380 --> 00:43:59,261
This is what it feels
like when you've made it.
731
00:44:01,900 --> 00:44:02,900
[sighs]
732
00:44:06,741 --> 00:44:08,820
[door rattles]
733
00:44:08,900 --> 00:44:10,541
Lucia, this is my wife.
734
00:44:10,621 --> 00:44:13,061
-Hey!
-Hiya.
735
00:44:13,141 --> 00:44:14,261
-Nice to meet ya.
-Nice to meet you.
736
00:44:14,340 --> 00:44:15,541
I've heard a lot about you.
737
00:44:15,621 --> 00:44:17,380
The guys, Jeff, Tom.
738
00:44:17,461 --> 00:44:18,981
-Nice to meet you.
-[Billy] Growing up?
739
00:44:19,061 --> 00:44:21,380
I guess it's about making your own way.
740
00:44:21,461 --> 00:44:23,581
Knowing what you've got
and what you need.
741
00:44:25,941 --> 00:44:26,900
Ahem!
742
00:44:26,981 --> 00:44:30,181
Saying you're wrong
when you'd rather say nothing at all.
743
00:44:32,021 --> 00:44:33,900
Or maybe the secret to growing up
744
00:44:33,981 --> 00:44:36,541
is knowing when it's OK
to let someone else look after you.
745
00:44:37,900 --> 00:44:39,461
Those two versions of yourself:
746
00:44:39,541 --> 00:44:41,581
who you are and who you'd like to be.
747
00:44:42,661 --> 00:44:45,101
I guess you're a success
when they come a little closer together.
748
00:44:47,820 --> 00:44:52,780
When you can look at yourself and say,
"I know who I am and it's OK."
749
00:44:55,380 --> 00:44:56,380
I'm OK.
750
00:45:01,900 --> 00:45:03,300
It's your big chance, kid.
751
00:45:03,380 --> 00:45:05,061
Her days of karaoke might be over.
752
00:45:05,141 --> 00:45:07,101
-[Patreesha] Louis!
-[Avril] Pat!
753
00:45:07,181 --> 00:45:10,300
-[Chesney] So you stole the money?
-Yeah, I stole it.
754
00:45:10,380 --> 00:45:11,380
[Mimi] Fuck are you playing at?
755
00:45:11,461 --> 00:45:12,701
-You're barred.
-What?
756
00:45:12,780 --> 00:45:13,780
[sniffs]
757
00:45:13,860 --> 00:45:15,061
[Avril] I want you to kidnap my daughter.
758
00:45:15,141 --> 00:45:17,021
We should never have taken that money.
759
00:45:17,101 --> 00:45:19,101
[Patreesha] This is all
you fucking care about!
760
00:45:20,820 --> 00:45:21,981
Don't! Oh!
761
00:45:23,900 --> 00:45:25,900
Also a funny story.
762
00:45:25,981 --> 00:45:27,581
[Mimi] Fucking pervert!
763
00:46:09,860 --> 00:46:11,941
Billy's really matured now, you know.
764
00:46:12,021 --> 00:46:13,461
["Moi Je Joue" playing]
765
00:46:13,541 --> 00:46:15,860
[laughter]
83914
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