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Garcia: That's right, sniff
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the drug hound. If you use a
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water pistol that looks like a
real pistol, you're the one
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that's gonna be...All wet.
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Safety and common sense. Common
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sense. Common sense. Now, if I
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could have questions--
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Teacher: Are you ok?
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Man: Whoo!
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Junior: Come here! Whoa!
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Junior: Go, go, go!
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Women: Aah!
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Dangle: Hey, where--
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junior: Oh, sorry, sorry!
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Dangle: Turns out it was just a
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dildo, but it looked like a gun.
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Garcia: Oh, yeah.
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Dangle: At the lab they said,
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"dildo." ok! Hey, excellent
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news, gang. Uh, the television
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program csi is coming to film
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here in town.
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Johnson: Wow.
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Dangle: Isn't that amazing?
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Williams: Are they gonna use any
of us in it?
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Dangle: No, but they need
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security. What you get is time
and a half.
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Garcia: What are we supposed to
do?
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Dangle: Security! On the set.
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Simple.
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Williams: Like, what do we have
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to actually do, though?
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Dangle: How many times can I say
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security on the set? Did I say
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it twice or 3 times? Now
it'll be 3.
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Williams: What are we securing?
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What are we securing?
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Wiegel: Security on the set!
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Williams: Did she scream at me?
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Dangle: This is why we don't
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allow you to have 7 doughnuts
usually.
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Wiegel: I'm all hyped up on
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sugar a little bit.
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Dangle: You're freaking out.
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Wiegel: I'm sorry I yelled.
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Dangle: Uh, we're just coming
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around the neighborhood. Wanted
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to let you know that the popular
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television crime drama csi is
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gonna be filming right here in
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the neighborhood. There is going
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to be some gunfire. Ok? So don't
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freak out. Don't go calling the
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cops. There'll be some gunfire.
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Johnson: Please don't call us.
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Dangle: Right.
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Johnson: 'Cause we already know
about it.
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Dangle: Right. Loud noises,
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things like that.
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Dangle: Hang onto that.
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Johnson: Ok.
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Dangle: Hang onto that. Yep.
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Johnson: Thank you.
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Dangle: It's not me. There's
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more of them around lately,
right?
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Johnson: There's more of 'em
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around, and I don't like them
coming here.
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Dangle: Is it me?
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Johnson: No, it isn't.
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There's more of 'em around.
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Dangle: Sheriff's department!
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Man: Hello? What's going on?
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Johnson: You're not in trouble.
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Dangle: You're not in trouble.
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Man: I should hope not.
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Dangle: Tell us where the stuff
is! Ha ha ha!
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Man: Really, I don't know.
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Dangle: We're joking, of course.
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Man: Ok. That's a scary joke.
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Dangle: Csi is coming to film
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right here in reno.
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Man: Really?
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Johnson: On this block.
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Dangle: Yeah.
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Johnson: As luck would have it.
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Man: You're kidding me!
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Dangle: So there's gonna be some
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movie lights. There's gonna be--
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man: I have some questions about
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csi. I'm glad you're here. Let
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me ask you something.
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Dangle: Sure.
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Man: These csi guys, they're
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scientists, right? They're
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scientists basically?
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Johnson: Uh, of sorts.
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Man: So why are they running
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around with guns and solving
crimes?
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Johnson: Thank you. That's the
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problem I have with the show.
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Man: Ok. Well, why? Do you know
why?
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Johnson: That's why I can't
watch it.
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Dangle: No. If you want to start
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a list of television shows about
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law enforcement that are
inaccurate...
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Man: Yeah.
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Dangle: Where do we start?
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Johnson: I would say--
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man: Because we're going crazy
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in here trying to find that out.
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I'll bet you, in your line
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of work as real police, you
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don't come across nearly the
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number of pubic hairs that they
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do on that show.
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Dangle and johnson: Uh...
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Man: Or do you?
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Johnson: I wouldn't go that far,
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but, you know, we just don't
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talk about it all the time.
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Man: Thank you, yes.
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Johnson: The constant pube talk,
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like, "oh, can I have the pubes
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from that sample? Can I have the
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pubes from that?"
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Man: Well, I'm glad I didn't
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shake either of your hands.
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Dangle: Ha ha ha!
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Johnson: Oh, I'm gonna
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shake--ohh, pube hairs!
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Man: Seriously.
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Junior: Hey, hey, hey, hey.
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Jones: Whoa, whoa, whoa!
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Junior: A stray piece of trash
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from god's garbage can. Ma'am?
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Hold up. Oh, you lost your shoe
there!
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Jones: You're blocking this
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roadway and you can't do that.
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Woman: I'm all right. I don't
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need no help from you! I go
shoppin'. Here I go.
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Jones: No, you're not goin'
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shoppin'. You can't--
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woman: Yes, I am. This is my
train.
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Junior: No.
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Jones: All right, then.
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Junior: Ok, now, ma'am, that's
not gonna do anything. I'm just
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gonna back up. Where you goin'
with these, ma'am?
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Jones: You need to have--you
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gotta put some pants on.
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Woman: I don't need no help!
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Jones: She smells.
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Junior: Whoa, whoa. Whoa.
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Jones: Stop it.
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Junior: No! No! No. Whoa! Whoa!
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Hey, hey, hey. Hey!
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Woman: That's mine! I was
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handled badly.
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Junior: We didn't handle you
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badly, ma'am.
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Woman: I was handled badly!
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Jones: No, you weren't.
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Woman: I'm gonna tell you
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somethin'! I'm gonna tell you
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somethin'! I was--someone thrown
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me in a dumpster, ok? And they
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threw a christmas tree on it.
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Junior: Ok.
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Woman: Poof! Set it on fire!
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Junior: Uh-huh. Did you catch on
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fire, ma'am?
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Woman: Yes. Aa-a-a-a-ah! Aah!
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Jones: No. Don't--don't--don't--
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junior: You have to let your
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shopping cart--
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woman: I got 2 shoes.
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Junior: Yes, you do.
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Woman: I got one sock.
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Junior: Yeah.
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Woman: I gotta count my titties.
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Junior: No!
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Jones: No.
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Junior: Well, well, well!
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I didn't realize jeff gordon was
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coming through today.
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Driver: Excuse me?
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Junior: I said I didn't realize
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jeff gordon was coming through
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today, coming through town.
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I would've brought my
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picture book, had him autograph
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it.
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Driver: What did I do, officer?
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Junior: What you did was you
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drove through at 86 miles an
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hour. Everybody else was obeying
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the speed limit and you were
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doing 86.
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Driver: Oh, you know, I got
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produce in my truck. It goes
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bad.
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Junior: Grievance with the
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produce union for having you
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booked so that you have to
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drive these long distances
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without enough time to drive
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'em. It ain't my fault.
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Driver: Ok.
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Junior: I'm not--my job isn't to
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pay your mortgage.
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Driver: All right, sir. I--
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junior: So this ticket here, you
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can contest it if you want to.
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You can bring your produce boss
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there. Maybe he wants to pay for
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you, because this is for $175.
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Driver: $175! Come on!
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Junior: $175.
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Driver: Have a good day,
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baretta.
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Junior: [Bleep]
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This is car--oh, they took
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the [bleep] damn radio!
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[Bleep] Stop in the name
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of the law!
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Dangle: Did you know that?
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If you ever appear, ever, ever
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on television, even the news,
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or in the newspaper, you get
paid--
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man: Really?
Dangle: Forever.
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Johnson: Yeah.
Dangle: Did you know that?
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Johnson: Yeah.
Man: Really?
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Johnson: Residuals.
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Man: You're kidding me.
Dangle: Yeah, residuals.
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Forever.
Man: I bet you there's guys that
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do nothing for a living except
get themselves in the background
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of the news.
Dangle: They probably do.
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Johnson: Right.
Man: Or pictures in the
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newspaper.
Dangle: And then cha-ching,
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cha-ching. csi. They're gonna
be here.
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Johnson: Yeah, csi.
Dangle: They'll be on this
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street. There's gonna be trucks,
gunfire. Don't forget. Don't get
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the itchy 911 finger. Don't
worry about it.
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Man: No problem. No problem.
Johnson: We got you covered.
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Man: Look at that. This is going
right in the scrapbook. I'll
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never forget the day.
Johnson: Now, that was a good
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guy. That was a good guy. If we
had a city full of those
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people...
Dangle: Oh!
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Johnson: Look at these roses.
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Dangle: You gotta have a sixth
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sense about things, you know?
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You got to be able to predict
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like a--you know, like a bird or
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something, you know?
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Sheriff's department!
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Oh.
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Dangle: Oh! Oh, god!
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Johnson: Lay low!
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Dangle: Somebody will call the
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cops. It's ok.
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Johnson: No, they're not! What
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did we just say to everybody?
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Dangle: Stay down! Stay down!
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Johnson: Stay down!
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Man: Is that csi? Are you--
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Are you with csi? Cha-ching. Ha.
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Ha ha ha. I'm in the shot? Wow.
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It's a small operation.
268
00:08:15,290 --> 00:08:16,960
Garcia: I know you did it. You
269
00:08:17,020 --> 00:08:18,990
know you did it. All you gotta
270
00:08:19,060 --> 00:08:21,800
do, pick up this pen, sign a
271
00:08:21,860 --> 00:08:27,440
confession. [Sighs] Ok. You've
272
00:08:27,500 --> 00:08:31,410
forced me to bring in the big
guns.
273
00:08:31,470 --> 00:08:34,510
Whew. Hey, wiegel!
274
00:08:34,580 --> 00:08:35,310
Wiegel: Yeah?
275
00:08:35,380 --> 00:08:36,140
Garcia: This guy in here wants
276
00:08:36,210 --> 00:08:36,910
to hear all about your
277
00:08:36,980 --> 00:08:39,810
appendectomy surgery.
278
00:08:39,880 --> 00:08:43,550
Wiegel: Hi. Wow, where do I
279
00:08:43,620 --> 00:08:46,950
begin? I was in fifth grade, I
280
00:08:47,020 --> 00:08:49,520
think. Um, I was in this guy--
281
00:08:49,590 --> 00:08:51,190
his name was mr. Cohen's class,
282
00:08:51,260 --> 00:08:52,530
and you had to fight to get into
283
00:08:52,590 --> 00:08:53,900
this class. He would do a thing
284
00:08:53,960 --> 00:08:55,700
once a year where you would
285
00:08:55,760 --> 00:08:58,570
build out of straws and straight
286
00:08:58,630 --> 00:09:01,900
pins something. All right? I--i
287
00:09:01,970 --> 00:09:03,500
built a ferris wheel. When
288
00:09:03,570 --> 00:09:05,340
you're in fifth grade--well,
pretty much anytime--i don't
289
00:09:05,410 --> 00:09:07,840
know about you, but when I smell
vomit, sometimes it just
290
00:09:07,910 --> 00:09:11,210
happens, so--oh, god. The next
thing you know, everyone's
291
00:09:11,280 --> 00:09:13,920
vomiting. The whole class is
vomiting. Well, I think i'm
292
00:09:13,980 --> 00:09:17,220
just vomiting because david
cowie vomited. Let me back up,
293
00:09:17,290 --> 00:09:20,220
because what happened before
that is, I'm in horrible pain. I
294
00:09:20,290 --> 00:09:22,620
think, "this is so weird,"
because we just saw the whale
295
00:09:22,690 --> 00:09:26,030
blubber video. Maybe it's just,
you know, contagious vomiting,
296
00:09:26,090 --> 00:09:29,430
like you get sometimes. No. Now,
I don't know if you've ever had
297
00:09:29,500 --> 00:09:33,400
a catheter, but they did this
thing to me that hurt like the
298
00:09:33,470 --> 00:09:37,640
dickens, and the guy says to me,
"have you taken a bowel movement
299
00:09:37,710 --> 00:09:40,410
in the last 3 days?" I'm in
fifth grade. I don't know from
300
00:09:40,470 --> 00:09:44,710
bowel movement. I, of course--i
can't do the dance, but I can
301
00:09:44,780 --> 00:09:47,980
fake the drums. And she was the
only girl in school with a
302
00:09:48,050 --> 00:09:51,650
phalidomide baby hand, which,
for the time, was pretty rare.
303
00:09:51,720 --> 00:09:55,160
It's a puffy paint sweatshirt, a
rainbow puffy paint sweatshirt,
304
00:09:55,220 --> 00:09:58,590
and purple painter's pants with
purple see-through shoes that
305
00:09:58,660 --> 00:10:03,360
go--[laughing] I was like,
"oh, yeah, I'll show it to you,
306
00:10:03,430 --> 00:10:06,000
but I don't have any [bleep]
hair. I'm only in fifth grade."
307
00:10:06,070 --> 00:10:10,840
And the guy's like, "oh, then I
don't wanna see it anyway."
308
00:10:10,910 --> 00:10:13,470
[Laughing] So, it's, you
know--since it was my third time
309
00:10:13,540 --> 00:10:15,380
back in the hos-- garcia: Trudy?
Wiegel: Yeah.
310
00:10:15,440 --> 00:10:16,680
Garcia: You got a phone call.
311
00:10:16,740 --> 00:10:19,150
Wiegel: Oh. Ok. I'll be right
312
00:10:19,210 --> 00:10:20,450
back. I'm gonna tell you about
313
00:10:20,510 --> 00:10:21,520
the time we snuck out and stole
314
00:10:21,580 --> 00:10:22,750
crackers from the cafeteria.
315
00:10:25,850 --> 00:10:29,160
Garcia: Ahem. [Clicks pen]
316
00:10:40,300 --> 00:10:41,040
Williams: Well, one of the
317
00:10:41,100 --> 00:10:42,640
things I'm gonna do since c.S.I.
318
00:10:42,700 --> 00:10:45,610
Is coming is, um, I'm gonna get
319
00:10:45,670 --> 00:10:47,340
my teeth bleached.
320
00:10:47,410 --> 00:10:48,180
Johnson: Mmm.
321
00:10:48,240 --> 00:10:48,940
Williams: I'm gonna get my teeth
322
00:10:49,010 --> 00:10:50,210
whitened just in case they
323
00:10:50,280 --> 00:10:52,210
wanna use me in a scene.
324
00:10:52,280 --> 00:10:55,750
Johnson: That won't happen. Ok?
325
00:10:55,820 --> 00:10:56,580
Williams: What you--i--
326
00:10:56,650 --> 00:10:58,390
johnson: They're not going to
ask you.
327
00:10:58,450 --> 00:10:59,590
Williams: How do you know?
328
00:10:59,650 --> 00:11:00,860
Johnson: They're not going to
ask you. Have you watched that
329
00:11:00,920 --> 00:11:02,160
show? You do not fit in.
330
00:11:02,220 --> 00:11:05,460
Williams: I'm savvy, i'm--i'm
aggressive...
331
00:11:05,530 --> 00:11:06,360
Johnson: Uh-huh.
332
00:11:06,430 --> 00:11:08,600
Williams: Um, I'm attractive...
333
00:11:08,660 --> 00:11:12,130
Johnson: Uh-huh, and you got an
ass that's 2 axe handles wide,
334
00:11:12,200 --> 00:11:15,400
and that's distracting. Just
don't--i just don't want you to
335
00:11:15,470 --> 00:11:19,140
get your hopes up, ok? I don't
want you to get your hopes up.
336
00:11:19,210 --> 00:11:21,840
Williams: Oh, yeah. No, no. I--
I guess--i guess I shouldn't do
337
00:11:21,910 --> 00:11:23,410
that.
338
00:11:23,480 --> 00:11:26,350
Johnson: Maybe if they stuck
you, like, in a hedge or
339
00:11:26,410 --> 00:11:28,420
something.
340
00:11:35,690 --> 00:11:37,560
Williams: How long we gotta be
out here doing this?
341
00:11:37,630 --> 00:11:38,530
Johnson: I don't know, but i've
342
00:11:38,590 --> 00:11:39,060
had just about enough.
343
00:11:40,660 --> 00:11:43,060
Williams: You ain't had no more
than I done had. And I don't
344
00:11:43,130 --> 00:11:45,400
know, you know, there's a lot of
these little people around here,
345
00:11:45,470 --> 00:11:48,570
they ordering around. "Go get
this, go do that, blah, blah,
346
00:11:48,640 --> 00:11:49,970
blah, blah, blah-blah-blah."
347
00:11:50,040 --> 00:11:52,810
And I think that they think they
can tell us what to do like
that, too.
348
00:11:52,870 --> 00:11:55,640
Johnson: No, thank you. No. No.
349
00:11:55,710 --> 00:11:58,010
Williams: Don't nobody tell me
what to do. I'm a grown woman.
350
00:11:58,080 --> 00:12:00,380
Do you hear me? Don't tell me
who I can't look at.
351
00:12:00,450 --> 00:12:02,650
Johnson: Mm-hmm. I got a badge
and a gun. Don't tell me.
352
00:12:02,720 --> 00:12:04,750
Williams: Yeah. I will look at
'em if I want to.
353
00:12:04,820 --> 00:12:06,720
Man: How many times do I
have to [bleep] tell you? Here
354
00:12:06,790 --> 00:12:09,620
and here. I got people coming up
these steps all day long, and
355
00:12:09,690 --> 00:12:12,560
what I don't need is [bleep]
cagney and lacey standing here
356
00:12:12,630 --> 00:12:14,360
blocking bill petersen's door.
357
00:12:14,430 --> 00:12:16,460
All right? Got it?!
358
00:12:16,530 --> 00:12:17,200
Williams: Got it.
359
00:12:17,260 --> 00:12:20,530
Johnson: Got it, partner.
360
00:12:20,600 --> 00:12:22,540
Williams: Don't cry. Don't cry.
361
00:12:22,600 --> 00:12:23,300
Don't cry.
362
00:12:23,370 --> 00:12:24,940
Johnson: I don't like this.
363
00:12:25,010 --> 00:12:26,710
Williams: I gotta stay on this
side in case he come back, but
364
00:12:26,770 --> 00:12:28,010
don't cry. Don't cry.
365
00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:28,980
Johnson: I'm sick of this.
366
00:12:29,040 --> 00:12:31,780
Williams: That's how they do you
in hollywood.
367
00:12:36,580 --> 00:12:37,180
Junior: Don't move, sir.
368
00:12:37,250 --> 00:12:37,920
Dangle: Don't move!
369
00:12:37,990 --> 00:12:38,590
Junior: Don't move!
370
00:12:38,650 --> 00:12:39,820
Man: Don't move what? At all?
371
00:12:39,890 --> 00:12:40,750
Junior: Put the bottle down.
372
00:12:40,820 --> 00:12:41,490
Dangle: Put the bottle down.
373
00:12:41,560 --> 00:12:42,820
Junior: Put your hands up.
374
00:12:42,890 --> 00:12:43,890
Dangle: Bottle down, hands up
375
00:12:43,960 --> 00:12:46,390
just like this. Bottle down,
hands up just like this.
376
00:12:46,460 --> 00:12:48,630
Man: Like this? How many times
you want me to repeat that
motion?
377
00:12:48,700 --> 00:12:51,370
Junior: No, no! No, no.
Dangle: You do it once. Hands
against the wall.
378
00:12:51,430 --> 00:12:54,140
Man: This--this how y'all work
when I call?
379
00:12:54,200 --> 00:12:55,070
Dangle: Did you call?
380
00:12:55,140 --> 00:12:58,240
Man: I called. I was
cartjacked this morning.
381
00:12:58,310 --> 00:12:59,670
Dangle and junior: Carjacked?
Junior: Oh.
382
00:12:59,740 --> 00:13:02,680
Man: Cart. Cart.
383
00:13:02,740 --> 00:13:04,550
Dangle: Cart, like a shopping
cart.
384
00:13:04,610 --> 00:13:06,780
Man: Well, I don't push it
like that. This gives you a--
385
00:13:06,850 --> 00:13:09,920
that thing in your--it bothers
your--up in here if you push
386
00:13:09,980 --> 00:13:12,390
like this. The comfortable way
to--what is it?
387
00:13:12,450 --> 00:13:13,590
Dangle: Carpal--never mind.
388
00:13:13,650 --> 00:13:16,090
Man: I've never been in any
kind of tunnel. The comfortable
389
00:13:16,160 --> 00:13:20,830
way to push a cart is from both
angles, like this, almost on a--
390
00:13:20,900 --> 00:13:22,930
like this, on obtusical.
391
00:13:23,000 --> 00:13:25,470
Dangle: You push it out, you do
it isometrically.
392
00:13:25,530 --> 00:13:28,540
Man: "Freeze, you dirty fool!"
Dangle: Freeze, you dirty fool.
393
00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:29,140
Man: Yeah.
394
00:13:29,200 --> 00:13:30,370
Dangle: Okey-doke.
395
00:13:30,440 --> 00:13:32,110
Junior: So, somebody came up
behind you with a weapon?
396
00:13:32,170 --> 00:13:33,570
Man: Spell "dirty," like,
with--like how nelly do it,
397
00:13:33,640 --> 00:13:35,610
with a "u."
398
00:13:35,680 --> 00:13:37,680
Dangle: "Durty," like durty
south.
Man: Right.
399
00:13:37,750 --> 00:13:41,080
Junior: Don't--don't tell him
how to spell things on his pad.
400
00:13:41,150 --> 00:13:43,950
You--you do your job, you do
your job.
401
00:13:44,020 --> 00:13:47,020
Man: You know, in '87, I was
spelling bee champion.
402
00:13:47,090 --> 00:13:48,960
Dangle: In '87, you were a
spelling bee champion. Do you
403
00:13:49,020 --> 00:13:50,790
have any documentation to prove
that?
404
00:13:50,860 --> 00:13:52,630
Man: I usually keep it with me,
but it was in the cart.
405
00:13:52,690 --> 00:13:53,590
Dangle and junior: Ohhh!
406
00:13:53,660 --> 00:13:55,800
Junior: Man. Man.
407
00:13:55,860 --> 00:13:57,830
Man: Yeah, because they out here
tryin' to get me, man. That
408
00:13:57,900 --> 00:14:02,340
man, that steven spielberg
person, stole my--my e.T. Idea.
409
00:14:02,400 --> 00:14:03,670
Dangle: That was your idea?
410
00:14:03,740 --> 00:14:06,140
Man: Yeah. 'Cause I had a story
called e.T. About a alien,
411
00:14:06,210 --> 00:14:08,740
and it stood for "every time,"
'cause every time I would lay
412
00:14:08,810 --> 00:14:10,040
down, an alien would come.
413
00:14:10,110 --> 00:14:12,850
Junior: Our first stop looking
for this cart--spielberg's.
414
00:14:12,910 --> 00:14:14,250
Dangle: Spielberg. Spielberg!
415
00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:19,450
Let's move, boy, let's move! We
got 9 hours of driving to get to
416
00:14:19,520 --> 00:14:22,560
hollywood and get steven
spielberg into custody!
417
00:14:32,270 --> 00:14:32,900
Jones: I'm a grown-ass man, ok?
418
00:14:35,440 --> 00:14:37,340
Garcia: You are a grown-ass man.
419
00:14:37,400 --> 00:14:42,210
Jones: You do not get to talk to
me--you do not!
420
00:14:42,280 --> 00:14:44,010
Garcia: Shh. Come on.
421
00:14:44,080 --> 00:14:45,780
Jones: Helgenberger.
422
00:14:45,850 --> 00:14:49,250
Garcia: I know. Who the
helgenberger does she think
she is?
423
00:14:49,320 --> 00:14:54,520
Jones: Yeah. Hey, good-lookin'
black dude? He's not that
424
00:14:54,590 --> 00:14:56,290
good-lookin'. You see him?
425
00:14:56,360 --> 00:14:57,760
Garcia: Yeah. Hell, yeah.
426
00:14:57,830 --> 00:14:59,190
Short--about this high.
427
00:14:59,260 --> 00:15:00,760
Jones: Yeah. He's not that
good-lookin'.
428
00:15:00,830 --> 00:15:01,660
Garcia: Tv, man.
429
00:15:01,730 --> 00:15:03,230
Jones: I'm way cute--I'm way
cuter.
430
00:15:03,300 --> 00:15:04,370
Man: What up, blood?
431
00:15:04,430 --> 00:15:06,300
Jones: Hey. How you doin'?
432
00:15:06,370 --> 00:15:07,800
Garcia: How you doin'?
433
00:15:12,870 --> 00:15:15,410
Garcia: Ass [bleep]. Gives you
some love.
434
00:15:15,480 --> 00:15:16,710
Jones: Yeah, but "what up,
blood," I mean--
435
00:15:16,780 --> 00:15:19,310
garcia: "What up, blood?"
Jones: You don't know me. And I
436
00:15:19,380 --> 00:15:22,250
hate that I naturally--it was
natural for me, and i--i
437
00:15:22,320 --> 00:15:25,220
naturally gave him dap. I don't
know you.
438
00:15:34,260 --> 00:15:38,370
Junior: And how. And she's a
real catch, too--intelligent,
439
00:15:38,430 --> 00:15:44,740
challenging, and she's 16
years old, the legal age of
440
00:15:44,810 --> 00:15:45,970
consent in the state of nevada.
441
00:15:46,040 --> 00:15:51,650
We're goin' dinner--for dinner,
roller-skating. Then we might
442
00:15:51,710 --> 00:15:54,780
pop over to california for some
dancing.
443
00:15:54,850 --> 00:15:59,420
Garcia: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow
down, bill.
444
00:15:59,490 --> 00:16:02,190
Junior: What's the problem?
445
00:16:02,260 --> 00:16:06,260
Garcia: Well, 16 may be the age
of consent in nevada, but not in
446
00:16:06,330 --> 00:16:10,630
california. It's 18 in the
golden state.
447
00:16:10,700 --> 00:16:13,000
Junior: How am I supposed to
keep track?
448
00:16:13,070 --> 00:16:14,940
Garcia: Why not do what I do?
449
00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:20,240
I always carry age of consent
state-by-state guide.
450
00:16:20,310 --> 00:16:26,650
Junior: 14 in idaho? How did I
ever live without one of these
handy cards?
451
00:16:26,710 --> 00:16:30,750
Garcia: Order yours today. Why
not be sure every time.
452
00:16:42,760 --> 00:16:43,500
Dangle: All clear.
453
00:16:46,730 --> 00:16:49,200
Junior: Are they shootin' right
now?
454
00:16:49,270 --> 00:16:55,310
Dangle: I think so. That kind
of jewy guy was yelling.
455
00:16:55,380 --> 00:16:56,480
Junior: "Action"?
456
00:16:56,540 --> 00:17:02,280
Dangle: Yeah. Can I ask you
something? An honest question?
457
00:17:02,350 --> 00:17:05,620
Do I come off as gay or
something? Do I come off as,
458
00:17:05,690 --> 00:17:07,690
like, outwardly gay? 'Cause I
don't know why she would've said
459
00:17:07,760 --> 00:17:09,190
that as she went by before.
460
00:17:09,260 --> 00:17:11,860
Junior: I thought either way--
dangle: Was she goofing with me?
461
00:17:11,930 --> 00:17:13,530
Junior: I don't think she was
goofing. I think that was just--
462
00:17:13,590 --> 00:17:16,100
man: Rolling sound here, people.
463
00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:17,560
Junior: What? What did he say?
Dangle: I don't know.
464
00:17:17,630 --> 00:17:18,700
Man: Rolling wild track, guys.
465
00:17:18,770 --> 00:17:21,070
Wanna keep it down? You know
what wild track is? It means
466
00:17:21,140 --> 00:17:23,340
shut the [bleep] up, all right?
467
00:17:23,400 --> 00:17:26,040
Just keep it down, keep your
eye on the door.
468
00:17:26,110 --> 00:17:30,840
Junior: Wild track.
469
00:17:30,910 --> 00:17:31,510
Dangle: What?
470
00:17:31,580 --> 00:17:32,580
Junior: Wild track.
471
00:17:39,650 --> 00:17:44,360
[Dangle whinnies]
Woman: Cold towel?
472
00:17:44,430 --> 00:17:44,960
Dangle: A what?
473
00:17:45,030 --> 00:17:46,260
Woman: Cold towel?
474
00:17:46,330 --> 00:17:46,930
Dangle: Coal towel?
475
00:17:46,990 --> 00:17:49,600
Woman: Mm-hmm.
476
00:17:49,660 --> 00:17:51,870
Junior: Thank you. Thank you
very much.
477
00:17:51,930 --> 00:17:52,500
Dangle: Thank you.
478
00:17:52,570 --> 00:17:56,240
Woman: Yeah, you're welcome.
479
00:17:56,300 --> 00:18:02,480
Dangle: What did she say? What
did she say?
480
00:18:02,540 --> 00:18:04,140
Junior: Co-towel?
481
00:18:04,210 --> 00:18:06,210
Dangle: Cold--cold towel?
482
00:18:14,920 --> 00:18:17,260
Dangle: Cold towel. Ahem.
483
00:18:17,320 --> 00:18:18,560
Junior: It's cold.
484
00:18:18,630 --> 00:18:23,730
Dangle: Yeah.
485
00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:25,330
Junior: I thought it was gonna
say, like, uh, c.S.I.--
486
00:18:25,400 --> 00:18:27,840
dangle: Mmm, taste it.
487
00:18:32,270 --> 00:18:33,410
Dangle: There. Does that make
you feel better?
488
00:18:33,470 --> 00:18:34,070
Wiegel: Yeah.
489
00:18:34,140 --> 00:18:35,980
Dangle: Good. We did it. Fine.
490
00:18:36,040 --> 00:18:37,210
Hey, carl!
491
00:18:37,280 --> 00:18:38,310
Wiegel: Hey, chief carl.
492
00:18:38,380 --> 00:18:39,710
Carl: Hey, guys. How's it going?
493
00:18:39,780 --> 00:18:41,880
Dangle: Oh, boy. Guess how it's
going.
494
00:18:41,950 --> 00:18:42,820
Carl: Uh...
495
00:18:42,880 --> 00:18:43,750
Dangle: What do you think
happened?
496
00:18:43,820 --> 00:18:45,090
Carl: Pretty darn good?
497
00:18:45,150 --> 00:18:47,690
Dangle: Mmm, it's not going so
darn good with the ring-toss
people.
498
00:18:47,750 --> 00:18:49,790
Carl: What happened there? Did
somebody get one in the eye?
499
00:18:49,860 --> 00:18:53,530
Dangle: No. They called and
said, "there is a gentleman
500
00:18:53,590 --> 00:18:54,930
sitting in front of the
ring toss..."
501
00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:55,900
Carl: Yeah?
502
00:18:55,960 --> 00:18:57,560
Wiegel: "Selling popcorn on a
stick."
503
00:18:57,630 --> 00:19:00,570
Carl: Yeah. It's me's.
504
00:19:00,630 --> 00:19:01,570
Dangle: Yeah?
505
00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:02,770
Carl: Yeah, i'm--
dangle: Do you wanna run right
506
00:19:02,840 --> 00:19:05,770
now? Do you wanna just get up
and scamper? Do you wanna run?
507
00:19:05,840 --> 00:19:06,770
Carl: Well...
508
00:19:06,840 --> 00:19:07,470
Dangle: No?
509
00:19:07,540 --> 00:19:09,040
Carl: No. I'm on a lunch break.
510
00:19:09,110 --> 00:19:13,810
You know, if you put a burger in
the toaster, it'll say happy
birthday.
511
00:19:13,880 --> 00:19:15,350
Dangle: If you put a burger in
a toaster, it'll do what?
512
00:19:15,420 --> 00:19:16,950
Carl: It'll say happy birthday.
513
00:19:17,020 --> 00:19:19,090
Do you have the bath tub with
the goat water?
514
00:19:19,150 --> 00:19:19,690
Dangle: Yes, we do.
515
00:19:19,750 --> 00:19:20,920
Wiegel: Yes, we do, carl.
516
00:19:20,990 --> 00:19:22,290
Dangle: Uh, you know what? I'll
call ahead to the station and
517
00:19:22,360 --> 00:19:24,360
make sure they fill up the bath
tub with goat water.
518
00:19:24,420 --> 00:19:27,360
Carl: Yeah. That way I can do
chocolate pie.
519
00:19:27,430 --> 00:19:28,260
Wiegel: Yeah.
520
00:19:35,640 --> 00:19:37,040
Kimball: You were gone, like,
20 minutes.
521
00:19:37,100 --> 00:19:43,110
Wiegel: I know. I went by the
set. They have this guy totally
522
00:19:43,180 --> 00:19:48,050
cut open, like, his en--all his
entrails are hanging out. And
523
00:19:48,120 --> 00:19:50,280
I got to take a picture like
this, next to his stomach,
524
00:19:50,350 --> 00:19:51,490
like...
525
00:19:51,550 --> 00:19:53,250
Kimball: Oh, well, that's great,
while I'm here all by myself
526
00:19:53,320 --> 00:19:54,250
trying to hold down the fort.
527
00:19:54,320 --> 00:19:55,090
Wiegel: I brought you a cookie.
528
00:19:55,160 --> 00:19:56,190
You don't have to get pissy
about it.
529
00:19:56,260 --> 00:19:57,220
Kimball: No, thank you.
530
00:19:57,290 --> 00:19:58,630
Wiegel: Good, 'cause this one
fell on the ground.
531
00:19:58,690 --> 00:20:00,360
Kimball: Mm-hmm, well, you're
gettin' crumbs on the steps...
532
00:20:00,430 --> 00:20:01,830
Wiegel: It's fine. There's a guy
who comes around--
533
00:20:01,900 --> 00:20:03,230
kimball: Miss starlet.
534
00:20:03,300 --> 00:20:06,070
Wiegel: There's a--they got a
guy for everything. You go like
535
00:20:06,130 --> 00:20:09,870
this, "makeup!" A guy comes up,
poof, poof, poof.
536
00:20:09,940 --> 00:20:11,710
Kimball: Yeah, that powder?
537
00:20:11,770 --> 00:20:13,470
That puff?
538
00:20:13,540 --> 00:20:14,440
Man: Get off the stairs,
please.
539
00:20:14,510 --> 00:20:17,380
Kimball: Uh, oh, I'm sorry
about that.
540
00:20:17,440 --> 00:20:19,480
Man: Listen, director saw
you this morning.
541
00:20:19,550 --> 00:20:20,510
Wiegel: Yeah?
542
00:20:20,580 --> 00:20:22,350
Man: Said, "who's that?" I
said, "it's a real cop."
543
00:20:22,420 --> 00:20:23,120
Wiegel: Yeah?
544
00:20:23,180 --> 00:20:25,720
Man: Wants to put you in the
scene.
545
00:20:25,790 --> 00:20:26,720
Wiegel: Are you serious?
546
00:20:26,790 --> 00:20:27,890
Man: For real.
547
00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:29,490
Wiegel, laughing: What did I
tell ya? I said he was looking
548
00:20:29,560 --> 00:20:30,490
at me! Now?
549
00:20:30,560 --> 00:20:31,590
Man: For real, yeah. Let's go.
550
00:20:31,660 --> 00:20:33,090
[Wiegel laughs]
Kimball: You know, I was just
551
00:20:33,160 --> 00:20:35,500
telling her that I used to, uh--
man: Watch the door, please.
552
00:20:35,560 --> 00:20:37,060
Just watch the door. Trudy,
come on.
553
00:20:37,130 --> 00:20:37,800
Kimball: I'm gonna do that.
554
00:20:37,860 --> 00:20:38,970
I'm on it!
555
00:20:39,030 --> 00:20:40,470
Wiegel: Hold my cookie. I don't
wanna look unprofessional.
556
00:20:40,530 --> 00:20:41,540
Thanks! Have fun!
557
00:20:47,610 --> 00:20:51,110
Kimball: Oh, she, um--they took
her off, I think, to do some
558
00:20:51,180 --> 00:20:54,280
acting or something.
559
00:20:54,350 --> 00:20:57,650
Woman: So, I was just wondering,
uh, maybe after we wrap, you and
560
00:20:57,720 --> 00:21:01,090
I could go get a drink or
something.
561
00:21:01,150 --> 00:21:01,890
Kimball: You and me?
562
00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:03,460
Woman: Yeah.
563
00:21:03,520 --> 00:21:07,290
Kimball: Uh, where you go around
here?
564
00:21:07,360 --> 00:21:09,700
Woman: Oh, there's a couple bars
down the road.
565
00:21:09,760 --> 00:21:10,230
Kimball: Yeah?
566
00:21:10,300 --> 00:21:11,000
Woman: Yeah.
567
00:21:11,060 --> 00:21:13,100
Kimball: Lots of cute guys
there?
568
00:21:13,170 --> 00:21:14,170
Woman: Not really.
39114
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