All language subtitles for Reno 911! - S03E10

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,170 --> 00:00:07,140 Uh, we have a hotline for tips 2 00:00:07,200 --> 00:00:09,740 to the sheriff's department and mostly we get 3 00:00:09,800 --> 00:00:12,110 prank calls to it, but today, we got an actual 4 00:00:12,170 --> 00:00:14,510 tip leading us here to this, uh... 5 00:00:14,580 --> 00:00:18,910 Little semi tractor hitch full of stolen property. 6 00:00:18,980 --> 00:00:20,080 Hey, check this out. 7 00:00:20,150 --> 00:00:21,380 Little tikki doll. 8 00:00:21,450 --> 00:00:22,820 - 'Uh-uh, uh-uh.' - 'Tikki doll.' 9 00:00:22,880 --> 00:00:24,490 (Williams) 'No, no, no, no, no.' 10 00:00:24,550 --> 00:00:26,490 - That is voodoo. - It's not. 11 00:00:26,550 --> 00:00:28,160 - It is. - 'She makes a point.' 12 00:00:28,220 --> 00:00:29,820 Sometimes this kind of stuff 13 00:00:29,890 --> 00:00:31,090 has like, a gris gris. 14 00:00:31,160 --> 00:00:32,260 Travis, put it back. 15 00:00:32,330 --> 00:00:33,600 'No, don't, I wouldn't mess with that.' 16 00:00:33,660 --> 00:00:35,330 - No, no, no-- - 'No, I'm serious put...' 17 00:00:35,400 --> 00:00:37,630 - 'Don't mess with it.' - 'Don't open it.' 18 00:00:37,700 --> 00:00:40,670 It's not ancient juju anything. It's a lighter. 19 00:00:40,740 --> 00:00:42,440 'Tikki lighter.' 20 00:00:42,500 --> 00:00:43,470 Whoa! 21 00:00:43,540 --> 00:00:45,040 Hey! Hey! Hey! Aah! Aah! 22 00:00:47,180 --> 00:00:49,710 [bleep] I told you, Travis! 23 00:00:49,780 --> 00:00:51,010 (Dangle) 'Swing him! Swing him!' 24 00:00:51,080 --> 00:00:52,910 - Told me what? - Don't swing them! 25 00:01:07,500 --> 00:01:08,500 Go, go, go! 26 00:01:37,260 --> 00:01:39,490 So this little oriental girl who used to do our 27 00:01:39,560 --> 00:01:41,960 fingerprinting decided to sue us 28 00:01:42,030 --> 00:01:45,570 for creating, I guess, a "hostile work environment" 29 00:01:45,630 --> 00:01:48,700 and, uh, she lost! 30 00:01:48,770 --> 00:01:51,470 So the department considers us 31 00:01:51,540 --> 00:01:54,540 40 grand in the black and look what we got! 32 00:01:57,750 --> 00:01:59,310 - 'Check it.' - This is hot! 33 00:01:59,380 --> 00:02:01,320 [horn honking] 34 00:02:03,620 --> 00:02:05,020 (Garcia) 'This is 10,000 pounds' 35 00:02:05,090 --> 00:02:06,550 if you're goin' to jail, [bleep]. 36 00:02:08,990 --> 00:02:12,190 This is like you, Jonesy... 37 00:02:12,260 --> 00:02:14,200 You know? 38 00:02:14,260 --> 00:02:16,060 (Junior) 'Got the bulletproof windshield?' 39 00:02:16,130 --> 00:02:17,470 - Oh, do it. - 'No, no, no, no, no!' 40 00:02:17,530 --> 00:02:18,900 No, no, we did not get that! 41 00:02:18,970 --> 00:02:20,840 We did not get that. We didn't get the CD changer 42 00:02:20,900 --> 00:02:22,270 the leather, or the bulletproof glass. 43 00:02:22,340 --> 00:02:24,240 - Sorry. - We didn't get the CD changer? 44 00:02:24,310 --> 00:02:25,540 Oh, it's Trudy. Give it a shot. 45 00:02:27,180 --> 00:02:28,740 Hi, honey, you're not supposed to be over here 46 00:02:28,810 --> 00:02:30,110 this is a restricted area. 47 00:02:30,180 --> 00:02:32,050 Yeah, police personnel only. 48 00:02:32,110 --> 00:02:33,410 Yeah, I'm sorry to... 49 00:02:33,480 --> 00:02:34,850 - Hi. - Hey. 50 00:02:34,920 --> 00:02:36,350 - How are you doin'? - How ya doin'? 51 00:02:36,420 --> 00:02:37,890 - Good. - Sorry to impose. 52 00:02:37,950 --> 00:02:40,020 - It's alright. - Hey. 53 00:02:40,090 --> 00:02:42,920 Always willing to help a... 54 00:02:42,990 --> 00:02:44,890 Fellow cyclist. 55 00:02:44,960 --> 00:02:46,390 Looking for a James. 56 00:02:46,460 --> 00:02:48,930 - 'James?' - I was looking for my dad. 57 00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:50,670 Mom gave me this tag. 58 00:02:51,600 --> 00:02:53,740 That's my coast guard tag. 59 00:02:53,800 --> 00:02:55,940 You've been to Honolulu, right? 60 00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:57,810 Only about 21 years ago, yeah. 61 00:02:59,070 --> 00:03:00,410 I'm 21. 62 00:03:03,080 --> 00:03:04,210 Oh, my God! 63 00:03:04,280 --> 00:03:07,420 - Um... - Dad! 64 00:03:07,480 --> 00:03:09,920 Wow! What a big, strong boy you are! 65 00:03:09,980 --> 00:03:11,590 Wow! Wow! 66 00:03:11,650 --> 00:03:13,050 Big, strong... 67 00:03:13,120 --> 00:03:14,920 - I've been looking for... - Wow! 68 00:03:14,990 --> 00:03:17,490 - This is crazy! - 'Jeez whiz.' 69 00:03:17,560 --> 00:03:21,300 You don't look very much alike. 70 00:03:21,360 --> 00:03:22,960 Oh, but you could see it in the mannerisms. 71 00:03:23,030 --> 00:03:24,930 I mean, it's not like physical 72 00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:26,970 but it's like facial gestures. 73 00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:30,440 - Same body type-- - Smile. Smile. 74 00:03:30,510 --> 00:03:32,910 Both of ya smile. See, look at that. 75 00:03:32,970 --> 00:03:35,640 You know, they got DNA testin' places on 76 00:03:35,710 --> 00:03:37,210 you know, every street corner, sadly. 77 00:03:37,280 --> 00:03:39,480 Who's Your Dad? is over above that-- 78 00:03:39,550 --> 00:03:42,420 That's the one I've used a couple times. 79 00:03:42,480 --> 00:03:45,020 The quickest one is Yo, Baby, Yo, in 24 hours 80 00:03:45,090 --> 00:03:46,790 boom, it'll be a done deal. 81 00:03:46,850 --> 00:03:49,290 Wow! Let's go get the test! 82 00:03:49,360 --> 00:03:53,090 You got more than a hummer today, huh, lieutenant? 83 00:03:53,160 --> 00:03:56,160 - Hey, what's your name? - Kahneh. 84 00:03:56,230 --> 00:03:57,270 Jim. 85 00:03:57,330 --> 00:03:58,430 Good lookin' fella, you are. 86 00:03:58,500 --> 00:04:00,940 I didn't expect you to look the way you did. 87 00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:03,240 (Junior) 'Looks kinda like Keanu Reeves and Kermit the frog' 88 00:04:03,300 --> 00:04:05,210 'out on an adventure or somethin'.' 89 00:04:05,270 --> 00:04:07,680 You know, I could've saved 'em the trouble from the DNA 90 00:04:07,740 --> 00:04:09,580 test and just [bleep] that kid off in a cup 91 00:04:09,640 --> 00:04:11,350 and we would have known right away. 92 00:04:18,090 --> 00:04:21,090 I love these things. To me, the whole argument about... 93 00:04:21,160 --> 00:04:24,560 You know, become more independent on oil is crazy 94 00:04:24,630 --> 00:04:26,660 'cause if we use up all their oil, we win. 95 00:04:26,730 --> 00:04:28,560 That's how we win. 96 00:04:28,630 --> 00:04:31,530 Ya finish off a bank by takin' all the money out. 97 00:04:31,600 --> 00:04:33,840 Beat them damn towel-heads by gettin' all their oil. 98 00:04:33,900 --> 00:04:35,700 Exact or if you want-- You know, people say 99 00:04:35,770 --> 00:04:38,140 "Oh, we should be usin' solar power or... 100 00:04:38,210 --> 00:04:40,270 "We should be burnin' tea leaves, ya know 101 00:04:40,340 --> 00:04:42,740 to-to to run the country with," ya know. 102 00:04:42,810 --> 00:04:45,950 Let's chase the bad guys on a water wheel. 103 00:04:46,010 --> 00:04:47,720 How's that space over there? Can you look? 104 00:04:47,780 --> 00:04:50,620 Uh, it's pretty small. 105 00:04:50,690 --> 00:04:52,020 - Alright, okay. - Okay, I'm good? 106 00:04:52,090 --> 00:04:53,450 Alright, yeah. 107 00:04:53,520 --> 00:04:55,220 - No! Stop it! - Okay, I'll stop it! 108 00:04:55,290 --> 00:04:57,560 - Don't yell at me, Kimball. - I'm sorry, well... 109 00:04:58,760 --> 00:05:00,760 Look, I told you, this space is too small. 110 00:05:00,830 --> 00:05:02,730 - We're not gonna make it. - It's fine, the space is-- 111 00:05:02,800 --> 00:05:04,500 - We're not gonna make it! - I am gonna make it! 112 00:05:04,570 --> 00:05:08,400 I'm only halfway in the spot! I'm gonna make it! 113 00:05:08,470 --> 00:05:11,040 Boy, she handles like a dream, now don't she? 114 00:05:11,110 --> 00:05:12,740 Listen to that engine. 115 00:05:12,810 --> 00:05:14,510 Yeah, just like a dream. 116 00:05:14,580 --> 00:05:16,240 You think you can do better? You want to [bleep] 117 00:05:16,310 --> 00:05:18,480 why don't you [bleep]. Do it. 118 00:05:18,550 --> 00:05:19,850 Yeah, I think I'd like to do that. 119 00:05:19,910 --> 00:05:22,150 - Do it, do it, come on. - Alright. Okay. 120 00:05:22,220 --> 00:05:23,420 Aah! 121 00:05:24,850 --> 00:05:27,160 Uh, Junior? 122 00:05:32,960 --> 00:05:34,430 (man) 'It's good to have you on the show.' 123 00:05:34,500 --> 00:05:35,800 Showtime. 124 00:05:35,860 --> 00:05:37,330 (man) 'I'm happy that you could stop through' 125 00:05:37,400 --> 00:05:40,070 'and be here. And...' 126 00:05:40,130 --> 00:05:43,500 And, Mr. Freeman, just for you winning your Oscar this year 127 00:05:43,570 --> 00:05:45,470 I would like to commend you 128 00:05:45,540 --> 00:05:47,280 'cause it's a beautiful 129 00:05:47,340 --> 00:05:49,380 clearly, I didn't know you and... 130 00:05:49,440 --> 00:05:52,410 You and Jamie could win in the same year. 131 00:05:52,480 --> 00:05:54,750 'And what? Hmm?' 132 00:05:54,820 --> 00:05:56,820 'Ha-ha, you crazy, Morgan!' 133 00:05:56,880 --> 00:05:59,350 'Morgan, you are crazy!' 134 00:05:59,420 --> 00:06:01,560 - Yeah, I know. - 'Ah, how ya doin' there?' 135 00:06:01,620 --> 00:06:03,420 Excuse me, how ya doin', sir? 136 00:06:03,490 --> 00:06:05,860 - 'I'm good, excuse me.' - 'Excuse me.' 137 00:06:05,930 --> 00:06:07,930 Excuse me, this is the Junior III show 138 00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:11,000 and you are definitely standin' in front of Mr. Morgan Freeman. 139 00:06:11,070 --> 00:06:13,170 If you can't, unless it's just 'cause he's black 140 00:06:13,230 --> 00:06:14,170 you gonna act like that. 141 00:06:14,240 --> 00:06:16,770 I apologize. I'm a big fan. 142 00:06:16,840 --> 00:06:18,810 (Wiegel) Sir, you can't have your couches... 143 00:06:18,870 --> 00:06:21,780 It's not my couch. It's the show's. 144 00:06:21,840 --> 00:06:24,180 It's a show. Could you please sit down. 145 00:06:24,250 --> 00:06:25,750 'Enjoy, come on!' 146 00:06:25,810 --> 00:06:27,220 'If you gonna talk to me formally' 147 00:06:27,280 --> 00:06:29,620 security, you don't want that. You don't want that. 148 00:06:29,680 --> 00:06:32,120 Now, I'm Junior III. How are you doing? 149 00:06:32,190 --> 00:06:35,260 - Hello, my name is Trudy. - Trudy the what? 150 00:06:35,320 --> 00:06:37,690 - Trudy the what? - Like Junior the third. 151 00:06:37,760 --> 00:06:40,130 - 'The deputy.' - Trudy the deputy, I like that. 152 00:06:40,190 --> 00:06:42,030 And how long have you been... 153 00:06:42,100 --> 00:06:43,700 How long have you liked women? 154 00:06:46,300 --> 00:06:47,970 (Junior III) 'It's for the show.' 155 00:06:48,040 --> 00:06:50,610 - For the show. - For the show? 156 00:06:50,670 --> 00:06:52,510 I understand that you're doing a show here 157 00:06:52,570 --> 00:06:53,740 and I think that's terrific-- 158 00:06:53,810 --> 00:06:56,180 Could y'all not could y'all pause 159 00:06:56,240 --> 00:06:58,850 for station identification? 160 00:06:58,910 --> 00:07:00,410 Sure. 161 00:07:05,020 --> 00:07:07,720 With all due respect, we, and, Mr. Freeman 162 00:07:07,790 --> 00:07:08,760 I love your work. 163 00:07:08,820 --> 00:07:10,160 'He likes being called Morg Free.' 164 00:07:10,220 --> 00:07:12,530 But we did get a phone call 165 00:07:12,590 --> 00:07:14,200 from your agent. 166 00:07:14,260 --> 00:07:16,400 Uh, that said there is a big movie... 167 00:07:16,460 --> 00:07:19,630 Big movie. It's with Tom Hanks, Mr. Freeman. 168 00:07:19,700 --> 00:07:22,970 And apparently, there's a role in it for you as well. 169 00:07:23,040 --> 00:07:24,510 You know what's really weird? 'Cause y'all think I'm... 170 00:07:24,570 --> 00:07:26,470 You tryin' to play me and you think I'm really crazy. 171 00:07:26,540 --> 00:07:27,880 I know... 172 00:07:27,940 --> 00:07:28,940 Ain't no Morgan right there. 173 00:07:29,010 --> 00:07:30,440 I was pretendin' and y'all 174 00:07:30,510 --> 00:07:32,150 obviously... 175 00:07:33,610 --> 00:07:35,250 That was me practicin'. 176 00:07:37,050 --> 00:07:39,450 Morgan gets here, Morgan gets here 177 00:07:39,520 --> 00:07:41,420 in a little while. 178 00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:52,770 Well, before we continue with our program today 179 00:07:52,830 --> 00:07:55,940 I just wanted to make an announcement that 180 00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:59,370 Jason Bumgardner has been disqualified 181 00:07:59,440 --> 00:08:01,580 from the hoop shoot contest. 182 00:08:03,480 --> 00:08:05,650 Right, and, thank you. 183 00:08:05,710 --> 00:08:08,380 Um, uh, children 184 00:08:08,450 --> 00:08:11,490 uh, there is an epidemic going around 185 00:08:11,550 --> 00:08:13,390 especially with the girls 186 00:08:13,450 --> 00:08:15,790 about being mean to one another, okay. 187 00:08:15,860 --> 00:08:17,830 - 'Take the high ground.' - 'Here we go.' 188 00:08:17,890 --> 00:08:19,960 She's gonna say something mean to me 189 00:08:20,030 --> 00:08:22,630 and I'm gonna show you how you should react. 190 00:08:24,930 --> 00:08:28,770 Go ahead. And, action. 191 00:08:28,840 --> 00:08:31,840 Raineesha, I haven't seen you at the gym lately 192 00:08:31,910 --> 00:08:33,640 but I have seen you on the discovery channel 193 00:08:33,710 --> 00:08:36,940 with the other baboons shining your purple, huge asses. 194 00:08:37,010 --> 00:08:38,380 Ha-ha, it's amazing that you have 195 00:08:38,450 --> 00:08:40,380 so many illegitimate kids. 196 00:08:40,450 --> 00:08:42,450 She has three and doesn't know 197 00:08:42,520 --> 00:08:44,290 who the father is of any of them 198 00:08:44,350 --> 00:08:45,690 and that's just a little-- 199 00:08:45,750 --> 00:08:47,460 Oh! Ow! Ow! 200 00:08:58,030 --> 00:08:59,700 So it's father, son day 201 00:08:59,770 --> 00:09:01,700 here at, uh, Chateau De Dangle. 202 00:09:01,770 --> 00:09:04,310 I got some 203 00:09:04,370 --> 00:09:06,440 sports item. 204 00:09:06,510 --> 00:09:10,440 Gonna have a day of father fun monkey business. 205 00:09:10,510 --> 00:09:12,310 Possibly father, son, possibly not. 206 00:09:12,380 --> 00:09:14,850 Kahneh! Rise and shine! 207 00:09:17,590 --> 00:09:19,920 Hey, dad. 208 00:09:19,990 --> 00:09:21,720 'Hey, Kahneh.' 209 00:09:23,720 --> 00:09:26,130 It's kinda hot out here. 210 00:09:26,190 --> 00:09:27,860 Starting to sweat a little bit. 211 00:09:31,930 --> 00:09:33,470 - Whoa! - 'Oh, dad!' 212 00:09:33,530 --> 00:09:34,740 - I'm alright. - 'You okay?' 213 00:09:34,800 --> 00:09:36,240 - Yeah. - 'Sorry, sorry.' 214 00:09:38,210 --> 00:09:40,780 It's okay, my thumb-my thumb popped out for a second 215 00:09:40,840 --> 00:09:43,010 and then I landed on my lighter on the way down. 216 00:09:50,180 --> 00:09:51,990 ♪ Check out check it check out ♪ 217 00:09:54,020 --> 00:09:55,920 Hey, you know, can I say something? 218 00:09:55,990 --> 00:09:57,530 Say it. 219 00:09:57,590 --> 00:10:00,590 Even if the DNA test comes back negative 220 00:10:00,660 --> 00:10:03,300 and it turns out I'm not your pa... 221 00:10:04,930 --> 00:10:07,070 ...I want us still to be tight, okay? 222 00:10:11,040 --> 00:10:12,710 Alright. Of course. 223 00:10:12,770 --> 00:10:13,710 Maybe even tighter than before. 224 00:10:13,770 --> 00:10:15,080 Maybe even tighter than before. 225 00:10:17,140 --> 00:10:21,480 (Dangle) 'Well, the hyenas have picked up your scent, Kahneh.' 226 00:10:21,550 --> 00:10:23,250 Is he of drinking age? 227 00:10:23,320 --> 00:10:25,650 'Ah, the new Wonderbras are out, huh?' 228 00:10:25,720 --> 00:10:27,150 Yes, they are. 229 00:10:27,220 --> 00:10:29,920 - Hey, there, ladies. - It's hotter than hell here. 230 00:10:29,990 --> 00:10:31,990 - Are those margaritas? - 'Yup.' 231 00:10:32,060 --> 00:10:35,460 How are you doing? All tan and everything. 232 00:10:35,530 --> 00:10:38,330 I need a hug! I need a hug! 233 00:10:38,400 --> 00:10:40,230 - Get over here! - Hey! 234 00:10:40,300 --> 00:10:43,340 Oh! Whoa! Look at that! 235 00:10:45,810 --> 00:10:48,440 - Oh, hey, now. - Look they dancing. 236 00:10:48,510 --> 00:10:50,110 That's not baby dancin'. 237 00:10:50,180 --> 00:10:52,110 Women their age have brittle bones, so be a little careful. 238 00:10:52,180 --> 00:10:53,150 (Johnson) 'Oh, stop.' 239 00:10:59,590 --> 00:11:00,590 Sir! 240 00:11:02,960 --> 00:11:04,960 - Is he hiding? - Apparently. 241 00:11:05,030 --> 00:11:07,500 - 'Attraction is closed!' - Attraction is closed? 242 00:11:07,560 --> 00:11:08,900 Hey, guess what? It's open again. 243 00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:10,360 Peek-a-boo. That's right. 244 00:11:10,430 --> 00:11:12,430 Peek-a-boo show at the fair, welcome. 245 00:11:12,500 --> 00:11:14,700 Guess your weight. Guess your weight. 246 00:11:14,770 --> 00:11:15,970 Win a doll. 247 00:11:16,040 --> 00:11:17,610 Yeah, leads me to my next question. 248 00:11:17,670 --> 00:11:19,170 Did you try to guess 249 00:11:19,240 --> 00:11:20,540 'this young lady's weight, sir?' 250 00:11:20,610 --> 00:11:24,250 Well, read the sign! Guess your weight! 251 00:11:24,310 --> 00:11:26,850 Yes, sir, you've caught me! 252 00:11:26,910 --> 00:11:28,080 Put on the cuffs and... 253 00:11:28,150 --> 00:11:29,450 We're gettin' to that, in fact. 254 00:11:29,520 --> 00:11:30,790 That's not the problem at all, sir. 255 00:11:30,850 --> 00:11:32,750 The problem is the way in which 256 00:11:32,820 --> 00:11:35,760 you're guessing people's weight, specifically women. 257 00:11:35,820 --> 00:11:38,090 - With almost psychic abilities. - 'Really?' 258 00:11:38,160 --> 00:11:39,930 Yes, would you like me to guess your weight? 259 00:11:39,990 --> 00:11:41,460 Apparently, you were quite accurate. 260 00:11:41,530 --> 00:11:43,630 Yes, I would love for you to guess my weight, sir. 261 00:11:43,700 --> 00:11:47,770 I would say you are a sturdy 98 pounds. 262 00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:50,870 You were a little more accurate with the lady, sir. 263 00:11:50,940 --> 00:11:52,640 Well, I took a little more time then, and plus 264 00:11:52,710 --> 00:11:54,540 she had actually paid a ticket. Ya gotta pay. 265 00:11:54,610 --> 00:11:57,180 These things don't grow on trees. 266 00:11:57,240 --> 00:11:59,250 So, anyway, I'm gonna take a break now. 267 00:11:59,310 --> 00:12:00,650 - No, you're not! - No, sir. 268 00:12:00,710 --> 00:12:02,380 Would you like to demonstrate on me 269 00:12:02,450 --> 00:12:03,850 how you guessed her weight? 270 00:12:03,920 --> 00:12:05,950 Show on the lady deputy. 271 00:12:06,020 --> 00:12:07,760 Well, you can't, you know, first of all 272 00:12:07,820 --> 00:12:09,920 there's a lot of clothing that blocks the view 273 00:12:09,990 --> 00:12:14,030 so you gotta, you know, maybe I... 274 00:12:14,100 --> 00:12:15,560 - Could you-- - Touch and poked? 275 00:12:15,630 --> 00:12:17,160 Touch, there was some... 276 00:12:17,230 --> 00:12:19,600 On the elbow, I, you know, because sometimes-- 277 00:12:19,670 --> 00:12:21,040 'Sir, there's no fat on the elbow.' 278 00:12:21,100 --> 00:12:23,440 (man) 'Well, there's a weight the fat on your elbow' 279 00:12:23,500 --> 00:12:25,540 is directly related to the fat everywhere else! 280 00:12:25,610 --> 00:12:26,810 No, that's not true at all, sir. 281 00:12:26,870 --> 00:12:27,840 It's true, if I touched her 282 00:12:27,910 --> 00:12:29,540 it was directly on the elbow. 283 00:12:29,610 --> 00:12:31,650 Stop lying! Stop lying! 284 00:12:31,710 --> 00:12:33,580 Fine, first, what I do is 285 00:12:33,650 --> 00:12:35,450 I have them take off their jacket. 286 00:12:35,520 --> 00:12:38,150 Then what I do is I ask them to sit into my hands. 287 00:12:38,220 --> 00:12:39,650 Just sit into my hands. 288 00:12:39,720 --> 00:12:41,190 Do it, Wiegel. 289 00:12:43,020 --> 00:12:47,360 Okay, I'm gonna... I'm gonna guess 150. 290 00:12:47,430 --> 00:12:50,560 And that's it. That's everything that happened! 291 00:12:50,630 --> 00:12:52,630 Well, I... 292 00:12:52,700 --> 00:12:54,940 - I stuck a finger in. - Okay, on the ground. 293 00:12:55,000 --> 00:12:57,070 - Damn it! - Oh, [bleep] son of a bitch! 294 00:12:59,010 --> 00:13:02,380 - He's going in the bouncing... - 'No, no!' 295 00:13:02,440 --> 00:13:04,040 Nothing to see here. 296 00:13:04,110 --> 00:13:05,750 Nothing to see here. 297 00:13:05,810 --> 00:13:07,380 Just a rapist with a gun to his head. 298 00:13:10,850 --> 00:13:12,920 If I had a nickel for every time 299 00:13:12,990 --> 00:13:15,390 some kid came up here sayin' 300 00:13:15,460 --> 00:13:19,330 you know what, "Jones, you're my dad" I'd... 301 00:13:19,390 --> 00:13:21,500 Probably have, like 75 cents. 302 00:13:21,560 --> 00:13:23,630 - 'Exactly.' - 5, 10, 15, 20, 15, 30. 303 00:13:23,700 --> 00:13:28,200 35, 40, 45, 50, 55, 60, 65, 70, 75... 304 00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:31,240 - About a dollar. - Yeah. 305 00:13:32,210 --> 00:13:34,480 Alright, here we go. I got it. 306 00:13:36,140 --> 00:13:38,350 - Ah, hell. I'm sorry. - Did you hit somebody? 307 00:13:38,410 --> 00:13:40,950 No, no, I think it's the curb. 308 00:13:41,020 --> 00:13:43,380 - Got it, got it, got it. - No! Look out! 309 00:13:43,450 --> 00:13:46,690 Okay, okay. I got another foot. 310 00:13:46,750 --> 00:13:49,490 - Not really. - No, you made me brake hard. 311 00:13:49,560 --> 00:13:51,590 - How do I get out? - Open the door. 312 00:13:52,690 --> 00:13:55,700 (Jones on radio) 'Brake it to the left--' 313 00:13:55,760 --> 00:13:58,330 Brake it to the left, right, right? 314 00:13:58,400 --> 00:14:01,700 Let go of the button. I'm tryin' to talk. 315 00:14:01,770 --> 00:14:04,070 I'm tryin' to talk. Let go of your button. 316 00:14:06,170 --> 00:14:07,980 (Jones, on radio) 'Let go of the button.' 317 00:14:08,040 --> 00:14:09,210 - Good. - 'Yes.' 318 00:14:09,280 --> 00:14:12,480 - Good? Yeah? - Yeah. 319 00:14:12,550 --> 00:14:14,750 Now go to the right. Go to the right a little bit. 320 00:14:14,820 --> 00:14:16,020 Yeah, you got it. 321 00:14:18,290 --> 00:14:19,820 What happened? 322 00:14:22,890 --> 00:14:24,460 - [bleep] we're out of gas. - We're out of gas? 323 00:14:32,030 --> 00:14:34,600 It was interesting, the way I met Kahneh's mother. 324 00:14:34,670 --> 00:14:36,370 I was in the Coast Guard for a while 325 00:14:36,440 --> 00:14:38,740 and I was over in Honolulu 326 00:14:38,810 --> 00:14:41,280 and, uh, there was this place 327 00:14:41,340 --> 00:14:43,580 called The Jade Lady 328 00:14:43,640 --> 00:14:47,210 and they did a drag show that would knock 329 00:14:47,280 --> 00:14:49,920 your socks off, I mean, it was amazing. 330 00:14:49,980 --> 00:14:53,250 Uh, the fellas in the show... 331 00:14:54,720 --> 00:14:56,320 Here's the thing. There was-- 332 00:14:56,390 --> 00:14:58,060 You said there was a... A drag show? 333 00:14:58,130 --> 00:15:00,230 That's what I thought. 334 00:15:00,290 --> 00:15:02,330 It's just such a long story, it's so complicated 335 00:15:02,400 --> 00:15:04,130 we'll never know the answer. 336 00:15:04,200 --> 00:15:05,600 - It wasn't a drag show. - Who cares? 337 00:15:05,670 --> 00:15:08,200 It wasn't a drag show. Just regular ladies, apparently. 338 00:15:15,240 --> 00:15:18,880 - It's a boy! - No, don't say anything... 339 00:15:18,950 --> 00:15:20,980 Kahneh Dangle! 340 00:15:21,050 --> 00:15:22,080 Perhaps. 341 00:15:22,150 --> 00:15:24,890 So, any of you guys surf or anything-- 342 00:15:24,950 --> 00:15:26,090 Only porn on the web. 343 00:15:27,520 --> 00:15:28,820 - 'This guy...' - 'He does have a real...' 344 00:15:28,890 --> 00:15:31,230 He has a problem with pornography, he does. 345 00:15:31,290 --> 00:15:33,560 He does, he's been written up about it a couple of times. 346 00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:36,530 (Junior) 'Can't prove it, can't prove it!' 347 00:15:36,600 --> 00:15:38,230 Well I did prove it, but okay. 348 00:15:38,300 --> 00:15:39,730 Just gotta get yourself in the zone. 349 00:15:39,800 --> 00:15:41,100 Yeah, he's a great natural athlete. 350 00:15:41,170 --> 00:15:43,270 I mean, he's a perfect physical specimen. 351 00:15:43,340 --> 00:15:46,510 You got, I mean, your feet are really big, so I'm sure... 352 00:15:46,570 --> 00:15:48,540 - 'Yeah, plant on that.' - Just plant it. 353 00:15:48,610 --> 00:15:51,510 - 'Yeah, I got big feet, too.' - Yeah, I see that. I like that. 354 00:15:51,580 --> 00:15:53,580 All you want to do is spread your legs, spread your legs. 355 00:15:53,650 --> 00:15:55,350 There ya go. Alright now... 356 00:15:55,420 --> 00:15:57,350 Now bend up a little. You're bending a little too far. 357 00:15:58,890 --> 00:16:01,560 Focus on the sand, okay. 358 00:16:01,620 --> 00:16:03,690 Now, you just want to bend your knees, bend your knees. 359 00:16:03,760 --> 00:16:05,460 Just bend your knees, yeah, just keep bending it. 360 00:16:05,530 --> 00:16:06,530 And you gotta ride-- 361 00:16:06,590 --> 00:16:07,730 Okay, we'll do that more later. 362 00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:08,730 We'll do that later. 363 00:16:08,800 --> 00:16:10,660 I just want to say something. 364 00:16:12,570 --> 00:16:14,100 I love this man. 365 00:16:15,770 --> 00:16:19,070 He's the best man in my life. 366 00:16:20,670 --> 00:16:22,710 Mr. Jim Dangle. 367 00:16:22,780 --> 00:16:25,010 Lieutenant Jim Dangle. 368 00:16:30,650 --> 00:16:32,390 (man) 'We'll find out who's right!' 369 00:16:32,450 --> 00:16:33,750 'You'll find out!' 370 00:16:33,820 --> 00:16:35,760 Hey, Carmen, how ya doin'? 371 00:16:35,820 --> 00:16:37,690 Get him out of here, he's an ass[bleep] 372 00:16:37,760 --> 00:16:39,390 - Oh, you... - I'll take care of this. 373 00:16:39,460 --> 00:16:41,500 Hi, guys, thanks for coming. 374 00:16:41,560 --> 00:16:43,330 (Jones) 'Hello, sir.' 375 00:16:43,400 --> 00:16:44,700 Brothel inspector. 376 00:16:47,170 --> 00:16:48,540 - Get on the ground. - Get on the ground. 377 00:16:48,600 --> 00:16:50,470 - Right over there in the dirt. - Down on the ground, man. 378 00:16:50,540 --> 00:16:51,540 You know they sell these. 379 00:16:51,610 --> 00:16:53,270 Yeah, they sell 'em in Harrah's. 380 00:16:53,340 --> 00:16:57,180 They also sell "bikini inspector, titty inspector." 381 00:16:57,240 --> 00:16:59,010 There's a [bleep] inspector, too? 382 00:17:07,020 --> 00:17:08,590 I love the hummer. 383 00:17:08,660 --> 00:17:10,520 Alright, yeah, it gets six miles to the gallon 384 00:17:10,590 --> 00:17:13,830 on the highway and three miles around town. 385 00:17:13,890 --> 00:17:15,800 You know, the air conditioner doesn't work so well 386 00:17:15,860 --> 00:17:19,100 and it's not very comfortable... 387 00:17:19,170 --> 00:17:21,500 But I just look so damn good in it, you know what I mean? 388 00:17:21,570 --> 00:17:23,400 - Keep your positives. - Yeah. 389 00:17:23,470 --> 00:17:24,770 - Alright. - Okay, looks alright. 390 00:17:24,840 --> 00:17:26,970 - On this side. - You think we can fit? 391 00:17:27,040 --> 00:17:29,140 Before I try to back up, are you sure? 392 00:17:29,210 --> 00:17:31,610 There's nowhere else to go, so make it fit. 393 00:17:31,680 --> 00:17:33,210 No, I know, it can fit on my side 394 00:17:33,280 --> 00:17:34,420 but I can't see on your side. 395 00:17:34,480 --> 00:17:36,120 It looks okay to me. 396 00:17:36,180 --> 00:17:38,250 Okay, a little to your right. 397 00:17:38,320 --> 00:17:39,290 Baa baa baa baa baa! 398 00:17:39,350 --> 00:17:40,350 What? What? 399 00:17:40,420 --> 00:17:42,390 You're about to hit the car! 400 00:17:42,460 --> 00:17:44,960 - And go backwards. - Okay. 401 00:17:45,030 --> 00:17:48,230 And accelerate and you're good... 402 00:17:48,300 --> 00:17:50,060 Counter-clockwise, counter-clockwise! 403 00:17:50,130 --> 00:17:52,230 Counter... Counter! 404 00:17:52,300 --> 00:17:54,130 Do you know what counter-clockwise means? 405 00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:55,900 This is counter, right? 406 00:17:55,970 --> 00:17:57,740 Oh, I meant, actual clockwise. 407 00:17:57,810 --> 00:17:59,070 Okay, sorry about that. 408 00:17:59,140 --> 00:18:02,040 Alright. Now, stop, stop. 409 00:18:02,110 --> 00:18:03,910 Stop, stop. Stop means stop! 410 00:18:03,980 --> 00:18:05,210 Stop means stop! 411 00:18:07,580 --> 00:18:09,250 This is as far as I can open my door. 412 00:18:16,460 --> 00:18:20,730 Go! Let it all out! Let it all out! Yeah! 413 00:18:21,960 --> 00:18:24,600 - Come on. - Okay, stop. 414 00:18:24,670 --> 00:18:27,100 Somebody's gotta get the, uh, gate. 415 00:18:27,170 --> 00:18:29,340 Okay, I got it, I got it. 416 00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:33,040 - No, no, no, no! - Whoa! 417 00:18:33,110 --> 00:18:34,780 Get out of the way, get out of the way! 418 00:18:34,840 --> 00:18:35,840 Look out! Go! 419 00:18:35,910 --> 00:18:36,880 'Watch out, Junior, watch out!' 420 00:18:36,940 --> 00:18:39,110 'Junior!' 421 00:18:39,180 --> 00:18:40,510 Oh, [bleep] [bleep]! 422 00:18:40,580 --> 00:18:41,650 - 'Junior!' - 'Junior!' 423 00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:43,520 - 'Junior!' - I'm good! 424 00:18:43,580 --> 00:18:45,350 'Look at that exhaust system!' 425 00:18:53,930 --> 00:18:56,830 Kahneh went down to get the dna test results, so... 426 00:18:59,100 --> 00:19:00,530 Any minute now. 427 00:19:01,270 --> 00:19:02,370 Hey! 428 00:19:20,390 --> 00:19:21,560 So... 429 00:19:23,720 --> 00:19:25,130 You're not... 430 00:19:25,190 --> 00:19:26,560 You're not my dad. 431 00:19:26,630 --> 00:19:27,830 Wow! 432 00:19:27,900 --> 00:19:30,860 Hey! I mean... 433 00:19:30,930 --> 00:19:33,830 Oh, hey, Oh...Wow. 434 00:19:33,900 --> 00:19:35,270 It's okay, I'm sure I'll find him. 435 00:19:35,340 --> 00:19:37,400 There's another Dangle in Missouri I have to go check out. 436 00:19:37,470 --> 00:19:39,840 Oh, yeah, but we're still homies. 437 00:19:39,910 --> 00:19:41,510 We're still gonna hang out. 438 00:19:41,580 --> 00:19:44,440 Homies still gotta have a homie hat, yep. 439 00:19:46,350 --> 00:19:47,950 No, that's not me. 440 00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:50,780 - We've had so much fun. - Yeah! We had... Oh, man! 441 00:19:50,850 --> 00:19:52,050 Coppin' and everything. 442 00:19:52,120 --> 00:19:53,990 Come on, man, I'll take you out to sizzler 443 00:19:54,050 --> 00:19:55,060 not, not to celebrate. 444 00:19:55,120 --> 00:19:58,590 No, no, I, I'm sorry, I can't. 445 00:19:58,660 --> 00:20:00,330 Actually, I should go get my stuff 'cause there's... 446 00:20:00,390 --> 00:20:02,260 Um... 447 00:20:02,330 --> 00:20:03,430 I'm gonna miss you. 448 00:20:05,530 --> 00:20:07,940 Okay, you can... Okay... 449 00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:09,540 - Okay. - Okay. 450 00:20:09,600 --> 00:20:11,540 We're famous for our Wednesday traffic around here. 451 00:20:11,610 --> 00:20:13,810 - It's gonna be a log jam. - Got a bike! 452 00:20:24,750 --> 00:20:25,790 Kahneh... 453 00:20:30,360 --> 00:20:32,260 Do you have Jones' e-mail or number 454 00:20:32,330 --> 00:20:35,900 'cause I really feel like we connected and just... 455 00:20:35,960 --> 00:20:39,630 You know, I just want to hang out with him, you know. 456 00:20:39,700 --> 00:20:41,340 If that's okay with you, I mean... 457 00:20:41,400 --> 00:20:42,740 You're okay, right? 458 00:20:45,440 --> 00:20:47,240 - Yeah. - Oh, I got the... 459 00:20:47,310 --> 00:20:48,440 That's cool. 460 00:20:48,510 --> 00:20:50,310 "Big foot." Call him "big foot." 461 00:20:50,380 --> 00:20:52,610 That's funny. 462 00:21:03,620 --> 00:21:06,930 Against his own son, Oh, no, he moves. 463 00:21:06,990 --> 00:21:09,930 He moves. Look out. Look out. 464 00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:11,470 'Quite a dribble you got there, dad.' 465 00:21:11,530 --> 00:21:13,370 Here I come. Look out. 466 00:21:13,430 --> 00:21:15,670 Here he comes. And... 467 00:21:15,740 --> 00:21:17,500 Oh, [bleep]! In the neighbor's yard. 468 00:21:20,370 --> 00:21:21,780 'They're Korean' 469 00:21:21,840 --> 00:21:24,040 'and they're not very nice.' 470 00:21:24,110 --> 00:21:25,850 Well, uh, who cares? 471 00:21:25,910 --> 00:21:27,810 - I got it, I got it. - You sure? 472 00:21:27,880 --> 00:21:29,780 Mrs. Ng? 473 00:21:29,850 --> 00:21:30,850 Mrs. Ng! 32115

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