Original subtitles

Antón.

-What the hell are you two doing here? -Antón, please.

We're not to here to fuck you up, I swear.

Antón!

Open the door! Please, it's important!

Antón!

For fuck's sake…

Sorry for waking you, but we didn't know where to go.

You didn't know where to go so you come to my house, Vicente?

Is this some kind of joke, Toñín?

-Is this some kind of joke? -Listen!

It's about Ophelia. It's important, honestly.

Antón.

Ophelia is sick.

-Please, Antón. -Please, Antón.

Dammit, Antón!

Antón, it's important.

We wouldn't bother you otherwise, I promise!

Open the door!

Don't even dare.

OLD DOG, NEW TRICKS

I'm only coming because you asked me to, but I mean, seriously,

did you wake up and think,

"Hey, today I'll be more of an idiot than I was yesterday"?

I can stop the car if you want. You can get out here.

For god's sake, don't look at me with those raccoon eyes, okay?

I look like a raccoon, Uxía, because these guys fucked me over.

Yes, but they are crooks, Antón. Both them and you!

But go ahead and keep helping them!

I am helping the cow, Uxía! This is my job!

-It's not the cow's fault! Okay? -No, Antón.

What you're doing is helping yourself go straight to jail!

And I'm gonna take those handcuffs and throw them at your head

'cause I'm not visiting you in jail, understand?!

I'm not going to do it!

'Cause you are going to rot in jail for being a total moron!

How long has the cow been like this, Vicente?

Three days.

Three days is a long time to wait to call a vet, Vicente.

Toñín told me.

I can't spend all day locked up in here with the cow.

There she is.

Ssh.

-So? -Let me do my job, Vicente.

Uxía, get in here.

-Why? -Go!

Get off me! No.

Don't look at me like that, Uxía. This is real life, we're not at Kawanda.

We're not just here to look. We're here to work, okay?

So get in here, please, Uxía.

So?

-Last bowel movements, Toñín? -Answer him.

Well, she hasn't shit for a few days. And she won't eat or go out…

She won't eat, go out, or shit.

Hurry up, Antón.

It doesn't look good. Uxía.

-What the hell? -It's a thermometer.

Move the tail aside and put it in.

-The ass or the vagina. Let's go. -Uh, no, no.

Come on.

Uh, no! I am not collaborating with you guys.

I don't wanna be involved.

Okay, but I do not approve.

Do you hear me? I don't approve. Okay?

Okay, Ophelia.

Hello, darling.

Antón, I fucking hate you. You're an idiot, do you know that?

Have I told you that you're a complete idiot?

Good girl.

Did I say that you're an idiot? Did I say that?

I fucking hate you guys.

Hey, hey.

So? What is it?

What it is is that it doesn't look good.

Shall I take it out?

Tell me the temperature.

Mm.

Thirty-five point eight. Well, I mean, that's great, right? That's not a fever.

In humans, yes, but in bovines, it doesn't look good.

Wait, what doesn't look good?

What are you gonna do?

I'm going to have to explore.

Here we go.

The rectum is rigid, like a pipe made of PVC.

Ophelia, baby, Antón's gonna save you.

You're gonna be okay.

Even though he's so stupid, and an idiot and a crook.

It doesn't look good.

If you say that one more time, I'll punch you in the face!

Calm down, Toñín.

Tympanic sound, puncture with gas release,

rigid rectum, very high heart rate, and a very low temperature…

What are you saying, Antón?

She's at death's door, Vicente.

It's a serious case of peritonitis. There's nothing we can do.

Come on, man. You are a vet, aren't you?

Sure, you're right, I'm a vet,

but you want Saint Anthony, the miracle worker,

because this is a serious case of peritonitis,

which will lead to sepsis, and the animal is suffering…

Antón, what are you doing?

Hello! I thought you forgot about me, Adela.

Adela, what are you doing here? Come on. Back to bed.

They never tell me anything.

Is Ophelia sick? Is that it?

I won't lie, Adela, she's not doing well.

Yeah, she's not well.

You didn't tell me that. You never tell me anything. Ever.

Grandma…

-Ah… -Hmm.

Little Sabela!

-Oh, just look at you! -Oh, no…

So beautiful, isn't she? And so young, huh!

-No… -Come here.

Did you forget your glasses? What do you mean "Sabela"?

It… it's Uxía.

She's my sister's daughter, my niece. Uxía.

And you are…?

Oh, uh…

I'm Antón, Adela.

Your friend Antón, remember? I used to steal your apples as a kid.

Toñín.

Could you take Grandma back inside, please?

Right, yeah. Come on, Grandma, let's go home. Let's go.

Think you can save her?

It's peritonitis, Vicente.

There's nothing we can do, especially out here.

Well…

How long has Adela been acting like that?

It's been months.

Or years.

At first, they were just little mistakes, but now…

Some days, she wakes up thinking it's the day of her first communion.

Does she enjoy the day of her first communion?

Oh, you have no idea.

She only recognizes Ophelia.

Just a cow.

Life is pretty crazy, huh?

Life is pretty crazy, it is.

I can try to operate if you want me to, but…

It would be a miracle if it does anything, but I can try.

Let's do it. I'm gonna check on Adela.

Close that, Toñín.

-Your grandpa? -He's with Grandma, she's… anxious.

Okay. I'm gonna need a lot of help, you guys.

Will you help me, Uxía?

Look, I'm begging you.

Yes.

-Thank you. I need a bucket. -Okay, how big?

Imagine that you need a bucket for the entire Niagara Falls.

Bring it to me.

Sure.

This is gonna be extremely unpleasant, Uxía.

It's not gonna be like Kawanda and all the…

Okay, whatever, Antón, I get it. What can I do? What do you need?

I need those inspirational mugs, Uxía. What was it again?

"Because we know teamwork makes the thingy work." Right?

You mean, "Teamwork makes the dream work," I guess.

We're gonna need a lot of mug quotes, so make a compilation.

This one?

Would you ask him if he knows what a waterfall is?

Oh, I know.

Life can be fucking shit sometimes and nobody gets you,

but you're a super brave cow, you've got this.

And you know, very soon,

you'll be chewing cud, you'll be grazing, you'll be walking around doing cow things.

So what's the cow saying?

I mean… Well, she said that she's scared, like really.

What else is she saying?

Do you care?

She feels so alone.

And she's very angry because her life is falling apart,

like some omelette that's been undercooked.

And she's so sick of everything being so fucking… so fucking shitty.

What's really pissing her off?

What's really pissing her off

is that she feels alone but you're so selfish and narcissistic

that you don't listen.

That's why she's annoyed. You crook!

Yeah, you're a crook and a huge asshole, Antón.

And you look ridiculous wearing all that.

But wearing socks over pants is cool, right, Toñín?

God…

Ophelia, let's do this, okay?

It's going to be fine.

Scalpel.

Ssh, it's okay, Ophelia. It's okay.

You're okay.

Okay, let's do this.

Here we go.

Here we go.

Oh shit…

This is pretty complicated.

Like I said, Nia… Hey! Hey!

Niagara Falls.

This is complicated 'cause the infection has spread

and there's a lot of fibrin in there.

What's fibrin, Antón?

Antón, can you explain 'cause we don't…

-Do you need me to call my grandpa? -Antón.

"Antón, Antón, Antón."

Just let me think, okay? Just let me think for one second.

Toñín, can you count?

-Throw it on the ground. -Thirteen, fourteen!

-Fifteen, sixteen! -Here.

Seventeen, eighteen!

-Very good. -And… That's twenty.

-Okay? -The bottle, give me the bottle.

That's it, okay, great.

The, uh… tube. The tube, Uxía.

Go get the… the milking machine.

There's no machine, Antón.

-We had to sell it all. -Should I drain it with a spoon?

-I don't know. -I gotta drain the fluid.

You can do it, Antón. You can.

Okay, let's do it.

Come on, Antón, you got this.

Argh!

Antón, you got this.

Come on, Antón.

Come on, Antón, I believe in you. Please, please, please, save this cow.

-I'm begging you, please! -Argh!

That's it, that's it, that's it, that's it.

Antón.

Okay? We're here for you, you've got this.

You've got this, Antón, come on, please, please.

I can't.

The fibrin's clogging the tube, I can't…

Without a milking machine, we can't do anything.

It just isn't possible.

You can make it possible. Antón, I know you can do this.

It's not possible, Uxía.

Today's gonna be great.

Oh, I'm going all out. I'm using those shitty mug phrases.

Because it's only impossible… It's only impossible if…

if you don't try it.

So just keep on trying. Visualize your goals.

Because if you visualize them, you can do anything you set your mind to,

goddammit!

Be the best you can be.

And don't stop dreaming! You've got this, come on, Uncle!

-He… he's the stud of the stable! -Yes, Toñín!

And a watched pot will never boil!

-My grandpa would be proud of you. -Those who dare to dream can fly.

-He's the fucking king of the town! -And the path to success is attitude!

And one for all, goddammit! Come on!

And we can all fuck ourselves.

And we can all fuck ourselves.

That's my grandma's cow! Fuck, yeah!

Uncle, you're the best, I swear. I love you, Uncle. I love you.

There's the Niagara Falls.

Well done… Who's a good cow?

You're so brave, Ophelia.

-Isn't she? -Hey, so what's the cow saying to you?

Well, I mean, she's saying that…

this whole Y2K thing you've got going on…

Well, it's cool, but it's too much for a farm.

You've got something there too.

Hey. Is she gonna be all right?

We've gotta wait.

But it went well.

Look, we've just gotta wait, Uxía.

We'll wait then.

We'll wait, Ophelia, we'll wait, okay?

She's beautiful.

She really is.

And you are Sleeping Beauty.

She's going to make it.

I'll say it with an inspirational quote, "Life will always open a path."

She's gotta shit.

She has to shit, Uxía. She has to shit if she's gonna survive. Don't laugh.

I'm not laughing, I promise.

It's just that life doesn't… doesn't open anything.

Your life is constipated?

Oh, yeah.

I'm really straining.

I thought what I wanted was to be a…

a Kawanda mother, to be happy,

with my cat and my partner…

And holy shit!

Life falls apart like an undercooked omelette, kid, you know?

I don't know what I want to do in life.

And I don't think Kawanda is fulfilling me.

And I'm super scared of time just passing and passing and passing,

and ending up a… old woman… and, well…

Ending up like an old crook?

No, a failure.

You're a success, Uxía.

Honestly, you're a success.

You're a successful person.

Well, I don't think you're an old crook.

Actually, yes, you are, Antón, honestly,

but… but, I mean, at least you're a lovely old crook.

Hmm. I'm an old crook who does what he can, Vicente.

How'd it go?

Any news yet?

All quiet on the Western Front.

Ophelia needs some fresh air and so do we.

Let's go.

Well, fuck me.

Everything's fucked, and all… for an extra couple of bucks.

Don't fuck with me, Vicente.

I signed to get my life back, I didn't give a fuck about the cash.

And I just wanted her to be comfortable when I'm gone.

That cow there, and a few other things is all I can give my grandson.

I know he's a moron. You've seen.

He's not like your niece.

He's the king of the morons and he's on his way to becoming a legend, Vicente.

He is a moron, yeah. And I've always been a bit of a crook.

I always knew that someday I'd get caught.

Anyway…

If I gotta go to jail and die in there, then I will.

But I don't want to leave my family with just nothing.

-Right. -You gotta fight for what's yours.

Yeah.

This is what I'm going to miss the most.

The countryside…

all the animals, and the freedom…

…and this smell.

That smell of shit that you're standing on, Vicente.

Hmm?

Uxi!

With the feed, one in the morning, one in the afternoon.

-Just the cow… -Okay, yeah.

I know what I'm doing, I'm not an idiot.

My God…

-One in the morning, one in the… -Don't piss me off.

Adela, thank you so much, you didn't have to.

Here, handsome. Take them to the barracks.

I appreciate it. I'm finding my military service quite hard.

Look at the beautiful things that Adela has brought us.

-Thanks, Adela. -It's nothing.

Good lord, she's ugly. And she's gotten so old and fat, damn.

Hey, Adela, listen.

Have a good time on Sunday, won't you?

-Sunday? -At your first communion.

Huh?

Vicente told me that 200 guests are coming.

Two hundred guests is 200 presents, Adela.

-Aha. -Come on, let's go.

You're a very good veterinarian, Antón.

Would you repeat that for me?

You're a very good veterinarian.

Hey, you're not that bad either, Uxía.

I was all right, wasn't I?

Hey, you should try making your next omelette at veterinary school.

Falling apart can be nice.

You have to fall apart, there is no other way.

-And then, nothing. -Nothing?

Absolutely nothing.

The… the… the tube just… just wouldn't go in the cow.

And Antón had his arm up to here, buried in her intestines…

And, oh God, the smell of shit…

So you didn't get any sleep because of a cow?

-Correct. -Correct.

I would've killed you.

I would've killed you, Antón.

I would have grabbed a knife and fucking killed you.

Don't ever change yourself.

I want to, but I can't because you didn't tell me.

What you did… There are no words, Antón.

I could tell you later in detail?

Good morning.

Oh my God…

Where have you been?

All morning I've been looking for you.

-Sign this, Antón. -Okay.

Okay then.

And take a shower, all right? You smell like shit.

What does it say?

It's a court summons.

It's a court summons.

-It's okay, Antón. -What's wrong?

Oh.