Original subtitles

OLD DOG, NEW TRICKS

Oh my God… Oh, God…

Uh… Hey, Ángela. Good morning to you.

I'm afraid you're gonna have to cancel all of my appointments today

because there's a veterinary emergency.

A… a cow is giving birth…

Huh?

Uxía? No, no. I don't know where… I don't know where she is.

Of course, Ángela, you'll take care of it. Of course you will.

You're so wonderful. Thank you, Ángela.

♪ Kawanda, Kawanda ♪

Oh, the vet, finally. It's Carlota. I don't know what's wrong with her.

She… she's overwhelmed, she's… she's stressed, depressed…

-Uh, yeah. -She's tired, she's worried…

Like she's lost the will to live, you know?

Right, yeah, of course. I'm not a veterinarian though. I'm sorry.

That's right, you don't look like one. You look more like an accountant.

-You probably know that. -Well, actually I'm the regional manager…

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But is there a vet or…?

That is something I'd like to know as well. Uh…

If you could give me one second, I'll be right back.

Hello.

This one here is coming home with me.

Well, you gotta get your mom's permission first.

You live with your mom still?

Roi does as well. And Uxía lives with her uncle. So…

Did you know that they eat their babies?

Well if my babies were that adorable, I would eat them as well. On the grill!

It's true, guys.

-Seriously, they eat them because of-- -Because of stress, or sometimes anxiety.

Natural selection.

Anyway, you all seem to be having fun.

Where's the manager, "Usía" Ferreiro?

Uxía, yeah, that's her.

-Can I speak with her? -No.

You can't because, well, she isn't here.

Can I help you?

No. And where's the vet?

He's not here.

Well, guys, there's a woman with a very stressed rabbit out there.

Well, both of them are very stressed because there's no one working out there.

-And above all, there's no veterinarian. -It must be the full moon.

-Sorry, what? -Uxía and Antón?

It's just that sometimes when there's a full moon,

you don't sleep. That could be the reason.

Really?

-Hmm. -Hey, you want coffee?

Let's go get you a coffee.

-He's a big dog. -He is.

-Yeah, no one's answering. -Now what do we do?

People in these villages are super open and friendly. You'll see.

Good morning, guys.

We don't like cults in this town.

So if you're here to preach about some crazy bullshit,

better get out of here.

Come on, go!

You two are from "Kawasaki"?

-Yeah, Kawanda. -Right.

Have you seen Uxía?

-What happened to Uxía? -She didn't come to work.

Uxía's not okay. And Antón isn't either. I know the guy.

I'm coming with you. Wait here.

What's up with your friend? Is he dumb?

Oh, for fuck's sake.

-Hey. -Let's not yell, okay guys?

I didn't yell. Did I? I didn't yell.

Uh, Antón. We're looking for Uxía.

Uxía's not here and she's not okay.

Are you okay? I'm just, you know, wondering.

I'm perfectly fine. Just a little hungover.

Oh, great. Antón 2.0, this is.

If you don't want to tell me what's wrong, that's great.

You don't want to answer the phone, fine.

There's something going on with you. I can tell from your face.

Huh?

Why did you say I had something with a criminal lawyer?

I… I… I didn't…

I swear on my life. I didn't say anything about you.

I don't know how you don't get bored of always hiding things.

And that's why your face looks so bad.

If you have a stroke because of your blood pressure,

don't call me to help.

If you don't call me to talk, then don't call me to help. Let's go.

-That your girlfriend? -She's not exactly my girlfriend.

So what is she?

She's just a kind of, uh, nemesis.

Uh, okay, we're now getting a little off topic. Uxía?

I said, "We have to fight,"

and it was clear to me that I have to get back with Miguel.

And if I'm real honest, I miss my old life so much.

I miss my house.

I miss my problems with Miguel, Chusky…

Chusky is my cat. Are you following?

Uh, yeah.

It's just you've been going in circles for a while.

Right, and then there's Nuno. Nuno is…

He's just really such a breath of fresh air, you know?

Right.

When we met, he was going through stuff.

He needed me and…

Well, and the sex is… Ooh!

Doctor?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you chose the one with great sex.

-That's great. -No, I didn't choose him.

I'm staying single.

I'm so exhausted of always adopting cats,

or men who have all these problems…

Were you at the karaoke bar last night?

No.

Ah.

I'm feeling so lonely. I feel so lonely.

Uxía, I think the time has come to face your fears, and your, um…

insecurities, your future…

And, we can…

we can pause this and talk about it on the 17th, okay?

Sure.

Uh, between now and then?

-Hmm? -What do I do? Like…

How do you do it? You seem so calm. Like you're okay.

I mean, look…

I'm okay.

Hmm.

Drinking at a karaoke bar on your own doesn't scream okay.

Hey, you know what? You don't need any more sessions.

-What the hell? -We gotta go to Kawanda. Stat.

-What happened? -Well, uh…

Mr. Eduardo, ain't karaoke the best?

So impressive.

How small we are in the face of greatness, huh?

You know they're just cans of cat food stacked on top of each other.

Amazing, am I right?

It's my work.

I'm Roi.

Roi.

-Pleasure. -All right.

Hey, how was that coffee? You want another?

No, thanks. This is the third one that you've made me

and I'm feeling a little sick.

And where are you from?

From Barcelona.

Oh my God, I love Barcelona.

Although I've never actually been.

Did you know that I'm able to see animal's auras?

Look, I'll do yours.

Yours is… It's blue. It's electric blue.

That's stupendous. Hmm.

I've gotta go. I've got work to do, okay?

-"Usía" Usia Ferreiro? -Uxía Ferreiro.

-"Usía"? -Uxía.

Germán León, regional manager

for Kawanda International Pet House Company South Europe.

I'm here to do a little status report because we have some concerns.

-Oh! -I'm Antón Beiras, vet here at Kawanda.

And, uh,

I don't really agree with the whole "smile begets a smile" thing.

I don't…

-So you're Antón. -I'm Antón.

Well, first of all, you're not wearing a regulation uniform, Antón.

And?

And when I got here,

I met a woman with her rabbit over there,

and well, she ended up leaving because the vet was nowhere to be found.

And?

Well, she felt overwhelmed and so did… so did the rabbit.

Well, Galicia is sort of… sort of an overwhelming place…

At times, it's super…

Well, there's that Galician sense of humor.

Um, and why aren't there more patients waiting to be seen?

'Cause the doctor cancelled all the appointments.

No, Ángela, that's not true.

We actually rescheduled the appointments because capacity was full.

And that is neither legal nor hygienic, as I'm sure you know.

Of course, yeah, and, uh, it was a full moon as well.

Uh, well I'd like to start by having a look at the accounts, if possible.

Of course. Bernardo.

Uh, he's our accountant

and he will show you the accounting records.

If you could come with me? Yeah, yeah, this way.

And welcome to the Kawanda family.

Are you for real right now? Did you cancel everything?

-I had a terrible hangover. -I'm also hungover, Antón.

But Kawanda needs your help, so I need you to fix this problem right away.

Why's he still here?

Who?

The veterinarian, Antón.

I've read the reports, and he doesn't sell much.

Right, well, he's just a bit of a weird person.

-So this quarter… -He gets a lot of red faces.

He gets the most.

Statistically, he has the most.

Statistically, Bernardo, I'm sure he does.

Anyway, um… Hmm.

The clients always come back because he's the best vet around.

-Look, this is the month we sold-- -Okay, you two…

The herd is only as fast as the slowest animal.

Not Kawanda policy.

That from a documentary?

No.

He loves animals. Do you understand?

Right. But that's not… That's not enough.

Yeah, Antón's not well.

Really, he's not okay.

Antón…

He has a condition.

What sort of condition?

It's, uh, really serious.

Hmm. It's, uh… It's terminal.

-Hmm. -Mm-hmm.

Nearly terminal, yeah…

I'm sorry, it's just really hard for me.

-Wow. -Is Antón gonna die?

No, Bernardo. Because at Kawanda, we support each other.

-Isn't that right, Bernardo? -It is.

Now that is Kawanda policy.

Hey, Fariña's here.

Fariña?

What are we doing here?

It's Antón, darling. He's reliable.

No, you're a fool.

Would you look at that? She's beautiful, huh?

-It's a goat. -A Galician white goat.

Her name's Fariña. What do you think of her?

-You've been shorn. -It makes me look younger, right?

And what's wrong with her?

Well, she's, uh… She's a little bit overwhelmed.

Well, if you could be a little more specific, I'd appreciate it.

Well, you're the expert around here, Antón, so why don't you tell us, yeah?

So what's wrong with the goat then?

It looks like we have a… a nationwide problem today at Kawanda.

If one of you would be so kind to come with me to the examination room?

I'll go.

-This… this way, Loles. This way. -Yes, this way.

-Let's go, then. -Listen, Antón.

-Yes? -Um…

-Uh, how are you doing? -Well, mostly fine, thanks. Why?

No, I, uh…

No reason. Just… I just want you to know the Kawanda family is with you.

Oh, yeah, sure. And, uh, I'm with you too.

Mm-hmm.

What a place, huh?

-He looks real bad. -He's not doing so well. Antón's not…

What the hell? You brought me a goat?

A goat called Fariña? You could've brought the mastiff.

Who do we leave the sheep with? Or did you want me to bring them as well?

Come on. But hey, did you hear about the Andrades?

No.

They were reported, you know?

No way.

Everybody knows now. They're a bunch of crooks.

And they've got them by the balls now. And the rest of 'em as well.

-Is that so? -They had to close the farm, you know?

Four cows and a bull is all they have. Now they have to start from scratch.

But who made them close? Was it the Civil Guard?

No, Vicente had to sell everything so he could pay the lawyer.

So, anyway, what are you gonna do?

But I had nothing to do with it. I don't need to do… to do anything.

Antón, I mean the goat!

Come on, you asked us to come. You gotta do something.

We'll put some bandages on her and that's the end of that.

So they just closed?

Yes, they closed the damn farm!

A dog sex doll.

With a fantastic finish so that your little one can enjoy.

Got any mastiff ones?

Well, uh, I'll go check in back.

And, uh, tell me. Um, do you come often to Kawanda?

To where?

-To this boutique. To this store. -Oh, you know.

And… And what would you say is your level of satisfaction?

My what?

Like, are you satisfied with the customer service?

Oh, sure, sure. Lots of levels of satisfaction.

And… and do you… Do you like the facilities?

Oh, they're so good. I use this one more than the one at home.

Oh, uh, thank you.

Mr. Germán, your coffee.

-Ah! Ah! -Oh, my God Sorry! Sorry!

It burns, it burns!

All better now?

Hmm.

Can I get you a coffee at all?

No, I don't want one. No.

You know, we have other drinks.

We've got a lemon sports drink, an orange one, pineapple juice…

Honestly, I'm fine. Thank you.

Right, too much sugar. You're right. Okay, I'll get you your coffee.

I don't want a fucking coffee! Don't!

Let's keep in contact and in 15 days I'll come see you,

and I'll remove the bandages.

But…

But wasn't she just overwhelmed?

No, it was actually a lipoma. I had to operate for a lipoma.

-A lipoma? -A huge lipoma. As big as the world.

Anyway, Loles, we'll do that.

And you and I should go grab something to eat.

Antón. Antón. Come on. Lunch? Aren't you forgetting something?

Uh, remind me, would you?

It's the favorite part of the appointment.

The "furdresser." And Rosana, is our "furdresser."

Hey there.

-Rosana, could you take her in? -Of course.

The… the goat?

-Sure, yeah. -I take care of all kinds.

-Okay, we'll leave you with this beauty. -Yeah.

And, Germán, if you'll come with me, I'll show you the client database.

-This way. -I've got to catch a flight at 6:00.

What do we do?

There.

Hey, you know what? Sometimes we just need a little care.

A little care, huh?

Fixing split ends, some color, a little perm maybe…

Come on, she's a goat. She looks fine to me.

Well, but I wasn't talking about the goat.

-A hundred and ninety. -Let me grab the receipt.

Thanks so much, you guys.

Well, and if you're satisfied with today's service,

you can press the green face on the survey terminal over there.

Loles, I'm willing to bet you're especially satisfied.

-Anyway, I want to thank both of you for… -No. Thank you, Doctor.

You're the best vet in the entire world.

We'll always come back to the "Kawinder." He's a hero.

-Well… -♪ Kawanda, Kawanda ♪

Thank you so much, Fermín.

-Let me walk you out. -Antón.

Yeah?

Could we please focus a little bit? Uh, there's something that we forgot?

-We gotta… -Um…

-The… -Kawandy.

Uh, these are the best treats in the world for all of your pets.

Kawandy. They're made of…

And we have treats for…

-For dogs, cats, reptiles, birds… -What about goats?

It, uh… It's done by weight, Fermín, so the dog ones will do.

Hey, my niece and I are so grateful to you for bringing the goat in, you know?

Now, what did we agree?

A hundred and fifty and, uh… Thank you.

Shit, Loles. Here's 40 for the hairdresser and your wallet.

Hey, look, I want to ask you something. Vicente, does he have a lawyer?

Sure does. It's Martiño's son. The one who had a mink farm.

-He's a pretty good lawyer, right? -Yeah, his rates are pretty high though.

They are, but he's the only person who can save them from jail.

Right, right, yeah, yeah.

Come on, Loles, we got lots to do.

Don't drive too fast. You'll mess up my hair.

See you later, Loles. See you later, Fermín.

See you later, Antón.

Uxía, I've gotta go resolve a couple of things.

-What? -I gotta go.

No, no, no, Antón, I'm begging you.

You can't do this to me today, not with the inspector here.

And you're last in the ranking, and it's a dangerous position.

So, you can't leave.

All of us are last in the ranking. Every single one of us is total garbage.

That man is here to cut off your little head.

-Put that on an inspirational mug. -What? Antón, I need you.

I need your support. God, I need support.

Don't worry. I'll take care of it.

Chicken, ham and cheese, tuna mayonnaise, and crab.

-An explosion of flavors. -Hmm.

-What's your favorite flavor? -Hmm?

I have a discount card for employees, and…

-Hey, wait. Where's my… -Your blazer.

-What the hell happened? -Uh, well…

It's just the goat was in here earlier and…

You wouldn't believe the aura I saw on that goat.

Black. Like, black as coal.

I mean, it's the blackest aura I've ever seen for a goat.

-Wait, what aura? -How about the chicken salad?

Bernardo, come on. What are you doing?

Buddy, you can't eat from the vending machine every day.

Like, you only have one life, Bernardo. Come on. Let's go grab some octopus.

No, I'd rather stay around here, just do my own thing.

We're in the land of octopus, so let's go eat some octopus.

-I'm a vegetarian. -Antón!

What is it, Bernardo?

Stay strong, yeah? We're all with you.

Hmm?

And we're all with you too, Bernardo. We're all with you.

-Sorry. -I have a flight at 6:00, okay?

You'll be finished digesting by 6:00, my friend.

Well, uh… What do you think of Kawanda?

-Aren't we pretty far from the store? -Not at all!

Just because of my flight. I have a flight at 6:00 p.m.

You're good, man! We'll have some octopus and then you fly.

Chorizo and coffee liquor.

No. I mean, I'm a vegetarian. So, do you have any…

Any Padrón peppers or a fried egg…?

No, we don't have those. We just have chorizo.

Why don't we make a toast, Mr. León?

Your uncle won't come in?

-This homemade coffee liquor is amazing. -"Usía," I really can't have any more--

Come on, kid. Don't be so rude, buddy. I made it myself. Come on, boy, try it.

Come on. To the Kawanda family.

-Oh, wow, that's good. -Right?

Of course.

The best thing about a bad day is it can only get better.

I hope so.

Appearances, they don't matter, do they?

If you got to know my Kawandites, you'd see they're the best.

Kawandites?

Ángela, Roi, Xoel, Antón. I guess I'm Mother Kawanda.

-Hmm. -Sure.

Look, I really need to start writing up that report for the head office.

What do you mean, a report?

A… a report of what you saw today?

Oh, we gotta have another shot to celebrate.

-A super positive report. -No, no, no, no.

-Definitely not. -Drink it, asshole.

-Hey, Vicente. Thanks for coming. -No worries.

Wait for me inside.

Play nice with my niece and the idiot she's in there with, okay?

-For the love of God. -You heard the guy. Be nice.

-He's an idiot, but he's not a bad kid. -Mm-hmm.

What's up?

-You've had to close. -Uh-huh.

We're totally fucked.

Did you have to hire a lawyer?

The guy from the mink farm.

-He's the best. -Mm-hmm.

So what do you want, Antón?

Well, so…

Tractor Techno Rural Rave! It's gonna be huge!

Tractors, harvesters, three days. Just bam, bam, bam, bam, bam.

-All the techno you need. -Oh, yeah. That's incredible.

So, what do you think, man?

-Three days is a lot. -No, you're gonna love it. Love it!

No, no, no. Wh… What do you mean, I'm gonna love it?

I have to catch a flight at 6:00.

Believe me, you're gonna be flying so high, man.

Let me get this straight.

So, good old Antón,

the incorruptible Antón Beiras is coming to me

'cause he's scared and needs help.

Yeah, I'm scared, because we need to stay afloat, in this sea of shit.

I would do it for you.

We gotta support each other.

And you suggest that my lawyer,

who I'm paying with my entire life's savings,

defends you as well?

I didn't take your money, Vicente. I signed that fucking document for you.

-Careful. -That wasn't for us, Antón.

You signed it for yourself,

because you wanted to go back to your old life

because you also have a price.

You… you… You are not different, Antón.

Vicente, I'm asking you very politely.

And I'm telling you very politely, go fuck yourself, Antón.

It's gonna be fucking amazing.

I don't give a shit about your party.

Germán, are you okay?

-I feel better. -You do?

You know, it could have been the ten shots on an empty stomach.

What are you saying, woman?

-Of course it wasn't the… -Do you want another?

God, you're such a lightweight, man.

No, come on, Germán…

-You'll regret this in jail. -What the hell?

-When you're rotting in jail… -If I go to jail, you'll be with me!

-If I go to jail… -No, no, no, no!

-What the hell is happening, Antón? -It's done now, okay?

-What's going on? -It's done. Nothing's going on.

Look, thank you for coming. Thanks so much, Vicente.

Go on.

It's done!

Oh…

-I see you didn't tell them yet. -Vicente!

So you're telling me that Sabela, my cousin, and your niece don't know?

Hey, what did you say? 'Cause I'm his best friend.

Tell him, Antón.

Yeah, come on, Antón. Don't tell me. Tell the girls.

Tell the girls that you're also up to your neck in all this bullshit.

Tell them how you don't care about "Kawasaki,"

or poodles, or people in general.

Go on, say it.

Antón!

Okay, I'm involved because I signed their, uh…

Their papers from the slaughterhouse and…

And now they've been reported and we're totally fucked.

I didn't want to worry you and that's why I didn't say anything to…

Look, I didn't want to-- Sabela!

Sabela!

Um, I'm sorry, guys, I don't mean to interrupt,

but I have a flight at 6:00.

How about I take you? I'll be back soon. Come on. Let's go, buddy.

-I mean, I can get a taxi. -No way, man!

We're gonna have so much fun.

Well, Antón.

It's the end of the road.

It's the end of the road.

Uxi! Sabela!

Come on, aren't you guys always saying we gotta support each other?

Sabela.

Support each other? Support?

Listen.

I don't care if you signed those papers or if you go to jail or not.

Well, no, I do care, but I'll be fine.

Do you know what really hurt?

That you didn't say. You didn't trust me.

There are just some things that you don't… don't talk about.

I didn't want you to worry you. It didn't come up.

It didn't come up?

I basically begged you to tell me. And I think you are an asshole.

You're a bitter, chauvinistic coward who doesn't feel any affection

for the people who love him.

Do you love me, Sabela?

I'm not sure what you and I were, but don't call me again.

Uxi.

Look, don't be angry with me. Please, don't be angry with me.

And the worst part of it, Antón,

is I don't even care. That's the worst part.

You can't be left alone, can you?

Where is the…

the "management," the idiot who was sitting next to my niece earlier?

He left with Toñín. He had to catch a flight at 6:00.

You messed up, Antón.

You know I don't judge what you do with your life, but you messed up.

-Holy fuck, is this poison? -Right?

Tractor Techno Rural Rave!

Oh, hey, I don't want to be rude, but are you sure this is the right way?

To where?

What do you mean "Where?" To the airport! I have a flight!

To the airport? We're going to a party!

Please. Don't go so fast. Slow down.

I'm home, Uxi.

Go fuck yourself, Antón.

We're both alone now, Leslie.

But being alone is always best.

Hey! Hey! Stop! Stop, stop, stop, please! Please!

Thank you. Look, could you…?

What a surprise! Mr. León!

Hey! Enjoying the Galician countryside? It's beautiful, right?

I discovered it yesterday and thought I'd spend the day here.

Oh, wait! Want one?

It's honey-mustard chicken.

Mr. León?

Mr. León!

Do you need a ride?