Original subtitles

Shoo. Shoo.

Uxía, how many times do I have to tell you about the water?

What do I need to do? Tattoo it on your forehead?

I don't…

Hey, man…

-Hello. -Good morning.

So you're my niece's lover, then?

Uh… Mm, yeah.

Did you make coffee with my coffee pot?

No, well, but, I just…

No, no, no, no. It's impressive. Very impressive.

Being able to use my coffee pot is impressive.

Oh.

How do you know Uxía? From Compostela?

No. Uh, I'm from Vigo. We met here.

Here in my kitchen?

No. No, here…

I mean we met at the bar.

Oh… Okay.

Good morning.

Well… Well, I guess, you've already met.

Yeah. Your uncle's pretty nice.

Is that so?

Uh, you think he's nice?

Well, yeah.

I don't know.

Maybe you guys just get each other because you're both vets.

Oh, you've already made coffee? What a miracle.

Oof.

Oh.

Oh…

Oh…

Antón, are you okay?

Nuno. Nuno.

Nuno, the vet.

Nuno López. Veterinarian, yeah.

Ah.

Ah!

Um, if it's anxiety, I got…

No, no, no. I know it's cool to have anxiety now,

but no, it's not. It's just, uh…

It's just a bit of acid reflux and…

Oh, sorry, I…

Why are you saying sorry? You didn't do anything.

Right.

Uh, Nuno, hey… Would you mind?

Sure.

Of course.

-Okay, well… -I'll call you.

For god's sake. Just stop already.

I haven't said a single word.

And you don't have to say anything!

You couldn't have picked anyone else?

Do I tell you how to live your life? No, I don't.

For example, I don't tell you to get your car fixed.

There's so many warning lights on that dashboard, I don't even…

Look how easy it is to make people happy.

Just look how easy it is to make people… happy.

Okay?

OLD DOG, NEW TRICKS

Morning, good morning.

-Good morning. -Good morning.

Coffee, Antón?

Just antacid for now.

No coffee, Antón?

So, does he always have heartburn this bad, or…?

Antón? No idea.

He says he's had it forever.

Don't you ever speak?

Sure, we talk.

What the hell, Uxía? We talk to each other all the time.

By the way, the Andrades were asking for you.

Now drink it, that's how it works.

Antón, it's not that big a deal, come on, seriously?

Come on, team!

Okay, no, no, no. This isn't working.

Oh, wait, someone's missing.

-Who? -Really?

-Who's that? -Yeah.

-Oh, shit. -Okay, don't move! Antón! Antón.

I need you for the team photo.

I'd rather not be in the photo.

I say, we both stop resenting each other.

I was only doing it 'cause of the "personal matters" thing,

but I'm trying to create a team here.

"Kawanda United."

You think it's cheesy?

A little bit.

Hmm. Okay, listen.

We could win a trip to the Canaries.

Oh… Oh my God.

No, seriously, Antón, if you put some effort in,

like, a lot, then you might win.

But to do that you have to be the employee who sells the most Kawanda products.

A contest, just what we need right now.

They sell themselves.

Add "Kawanda" and the word "candies," and you get "Kawandies."

And there's something for every animal: dogs, cats, reptiles, amphibians,

bunny rabbits.

And?

I don't know, Antón, sometimes I think… that people just need a push to improve.

Uxía, you seem to think

that those people are stray cats and you wanna adopt them or something.

Just like with Nuno this morning, and you know what?

I think it's commendable.

Commendable and insane at the same time, you know?

So please don't drag me into it.

'Cause I just wanna do my eight hours and then go.

It's not a very common practice for us vets to write these things down.

You're the owner, I'm sure you'll know which one's Tom and which one's Jerry.

Yeah but, Doc, I'm colorblind.

Okay, very well, so…

No problem, and so how do you…?

So how is it that, uh, you knew

which one needed the antibiotic drops?

I just gave both of them the antibiotics.

Excuse me for just one moment.

He didn't buy anything?

Huh?

Your client didn't buy anything.

And?

The Kawandies…

Kawanda Farm Prestige Premium.

It's great, it has seeds, dried flowers… It's absolutely incredible.

The best thing out there for birds.

-How's your, uh… -The heartburn? Oh, it's fine.

-Is it? -Fine. More or less.

-Okay, great, that's great. -Yeah, it is, yeah.

Just keep hanging in there. For team Kawanda.

Of course, team Kawanda. Kawanda forever.

Would you like to know who the next client is?

Yes, who have we got now?

Next client is Leslie.

Leslie?

That's us, we're Leslie.

Okay.

She thinks she's pregnant but she's not.

Mm-hmm.

Phantom pregnancies happen, right?

Dogs have them sometimes, don't they?

Like, they try to mother shoes or stuffed animals.

I mean, pseudocyesis is pretty common in pets that usually live in pairs,

but who haven't had a… companion.

You see, Elena?

Elena didn't think it was possible for guinea pigs.

-Getting pregnant? -A phantom pregnancy.

They can definitely experience them.

But I don't think this is the case. I think old Leslie has had a companion.

No, Leslie hasn't had a companion.

-It's impossible that…? -Impossible. Impossible, right?

Leslie hasn't left the house since we bought her.

Well, this is really something to behold.

It's some sort of a miracle. Th… the virgin Leslie Mary.

Could I talk to you for a moment, alone?

Of course.

Honey, could you stay here? And look after Leslie?

Uh, so we've got a very interesting range of…

The guinea pig is pregnant then?

-Yeah, she's pretty pregnant. -Okay.

-Is that a problem? -Yes, it's a problem.

Uh…

Well, the range of kibble that we have available…

Leslie passed away in an accident.

It doesn't matter how.

She fell into the pool filter. It was my fault, but that's not the point.

It's not important.

What's important is Elena doesn't know that.

-Because we bought her another one. -Leslie 2?

Yes, Leslie 2, the one in there.

And my daughter loves her little rat. Problem is, she was already pregnant.

Do you understand or not?

No.

Okay, Leslie died.

-The one that's in there isn't… -No, no. I'm not… I do apologize.

I understand that. What I don't understand is what Kawanda,

or even I as a vet, can do for you. I don't know.

-What I want you to do… -Y… yes?

-…is to tell my daughter… -Mm-hmm.

…that the little rat has to stay in here…

-Hmm… -…until she's cured.

And when she's cured, well, then we collect her,

and that's end of story.

I see, I see. And the babies?

I guess I'll give them to you. Or you might even sell them here,

or perhaps you give 'em to me and I decide.

That's not important.

Look, the important question is…

Are you gonna help me out with this or not?

Yes, I can help you. You can count on me.

Fantastic.

-Antón. -Antón.

Fantastic.

Hi, honey.

Okay, Elena, Leslie has to stay here for a short while.

Two or three weeks, nothing more than that, just until…

…until her body has expelled some infectious stones

that Leslie has in her intestine.

Is she okay?

-Sure. -Leslie could die otherwise, you know.

You'd be able to visit her anytime you want.

-If you're really missing her. -Or not.

Because it's best that she gets some rest if she's sick.

-Right? -I can't come see her?

Will she be here all alone?

Oh…

Oh…

This one's for teeth, this one's for fur.

Regular Plus kibble, which is the complete package.

It's excellent.

And over here, we have Premium Advance.

This option prevents obesity as well.

And those brands have nothing, so… That's the main difference.

And this one costs a lot more.

Well, sure, but that's 'cause obesity leads to diabetes,

and then diabetes will always lead to heart disease.

And obviously, nobody wants their cat to die in their arms

because of a heart attack.

♪ Kawanda… ♪

But the Regular Plus is a fantastic product as well.

♪ Kawanda… ♪

I want you to walk straight, like this.

Did they buy anything?

The mom and daughter? No.

-Hmm. -What on earth? Here you are!

Here I am. Taking care of this guinea pig who's pregnant.

-Oh… -Her name is Leslie.

She's pregnant and I'm, uh,

I'm treating her to a bag of those Kawandies.

-You're not okay. -Bah.

You know that, don't you?

What you call heartburn is actually anxiety,

and there are specialist doctors who can help you with it.

Look, I am not a crazy person.

Do you know what a crazy person looks like?

Do you?

Do you? Come back.

Hey, anxiety's trendy, right?

Yeah, maybe, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Do you have anxiety?

No, I don't.

Same here.

-I don't either. -Of course.

If you did, would you go to the doctor?

-No. -Same here.

No way, of course I wouldn't.

I'd do mindful aerial yoga.

Actually I already do mindful aerial yoga, even though I don't have anxiety.

It's amazing how much you can feel and how much you can connect to, like,

yourself but also others.

-So, uh, no patients today? -No.

Shall I recommend you a pose to do?

Oh, no. No, look I'm too, uh…

I'm older and…

Look, I'm gonna take a…

I'm gonna take a walk and see if I can sell some of these Kawandies.

Just let me know if I can help you at all.

We're good, we're just browsing for now.

If you're looking for a fish tank,

we have a range of fish tanks that are, generally speaking, pretty good, so…

How long does a tortoise live?

Well, Darwin's was about two hundred, a domestic one is thirty years though.

You see?

But I don't want one. They don't really do anything.

What does a rabbit do?

No way, my parents would freak out if I came back home with a tortoise.

-And a ficus? -What?

Instead of an animal, a ficus. Animals always die.

Just like friendships. Friendships die as well.

-What do you know? -How old are you?

-Twelve. -Thirteen.

Well, I'm sorry, but in ten or fifteen days,

you'll hate each other because of a boy, or some concert tickets…

Then who takes care of your bunny rabbit after that?

-Let's go. -My friends, get a ficus.

They don't feel, they don't suffer. Take my word for it. A ficus!

-A ficus? -A ficus.

You're trying to sell a ficus?

-Has somebody died or what? -Antón, come on.

I'm here 'cause I thought you might want dinner,

but if you don't want to, that's fine.

-I want to. -We can go another day.

-Did Uxía put you up to this? -Why do you say that?

-I'm not saying, I'm asking. -She mentioned it.

But if you don't want to, that's fine but it'd be nice.

-I'd like that. -You'd like that?

-Yes. -You'd like that?

Well, if we'd both like that, then it's settled.

Okay, it's settled.

I'll wait for you to close. Okay.

Dog sex doll.

They sell like hot cakes. Two hundred euros for a dog sex doll.

-The food was good, right? -It was.

Really good.

But I don't want any dessert.

Me neither.

Uxía says we don't talk.

-Well. -"Well"?

Do you wanna say anything more?

Okay, what do you wanna talk about?

Tell me how you're doing, Antón.

How do you feel?

Today, I saw a guinea pig.

You saw a guinea pig? Well…

She's pregnant and the…

the owner doesn't want to keep the babies.

And it's affected you?

And it made me think about some things like, uh…

That she needs help because she's sort of…

Like she's a single mom.

Poor thing.

And that made me think that…

That maybe it would be kinda nice…

Look, I don't know, maybe you and I, we… we could adopt a child and maybe…

well, help it, you know?

Uh, are you… Are you being serious?

I thought…

maybe a kid from China or something.

"A kid from China or something"?

You're telling me that there's a kid from China out there

who wants me and you to be its parents?

I mean, I thought…

Like, there are lots of Chinese people.

There are, like, billions of Chinese people,

so there's gotta be, like, you know, a Chinese kid who needs our help.

-Here's the check. -Ah.

Could I offer you both a digestif on the house?

Yes, thank you. Thank you.

Just one then?

Wait, Sabela. I don't understand why you're angry.

You went from zero to sixty.

I asked how you are and you said you want to start a family.

It's something I've thought about. I think about a lot of things.

-What sort of things? -Can you walk slower?

No, 'cause I'm cold.

Okay. Well, what are you thinking about?

I don't know what I'm thinking.

Didn't Uxía say we need to communicate? So let's communicate then.

I mean, yeah, and no.

Is that a yes or a no?

Oh.

We can't talk in here, I thought you wanted to talk.

But I don't wanna talk right now.

Here.

Look.

I… Sabela, I think it's time to go.

-Let's go. -I can't hear you, Antón!

Do you think they're awake? No.

Come on, come on, before they come down.

Quick, I don't want to run into them.

-Oh, hi. -Oh, hi! Okay!

-Hi. -Hey.

Good morning! And what a fantastic one it is.

Am I right?

Big smiles everyone.

Because we love being here.

Here we go… "Kawan…"

Kawanda!

No, no, no.

-What are you doing here all alone? -You're here to see Leslie, is that right?

Yeah.

-Would you give me a minute, Uxía? -Oh!

Yeah, sure, of course, you just take a minute then.

-Do you all just want a minute? -One minute, starting now.

-That's not why I'm here. -Why are you here?

I want to know the truth.

Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. Come over here for a second.

Come over here.

My mom treats me like I'm a little kid, but…

I'm not anymore.

Just tell me the truth.

Oh…

Leslie's not with us anymore.

She had an accident,

and your mom bought a replacement guinea pig

because she loves you very much, Elena.

-I thought she was just unwell. -She's good, she's really good.

Like, really, really good.

I thought she had cancer.

-No. -Not that she had died.

My mom's a psychopath.

No. She's uh… She's doing really, really well.

She's actually pregnant.

Do you want to see her?

Come with me.

-Ángela. -Yeah?

Would you mind taking dear Elena to go see her pet, little Leslie?

Of course. Hello.

I need one more minute, Uxía.

Oh, sure, don't worry about it.

It's not like we're in a rush or anything, Antón.

This is a pretty nice store.

Antón, can we go talk somewhere private?

Doctor, Pichichi hasn't been feeling well.

Maybe you can help in some way.

Listen, he spent half the morning preparing that prank for you.

Oh, I'm laughing my ass off inside, Vicente.

Well, there's just one thing, Antón.

I'm afraid I still need your name on that certificate.

Look, I already tried getting somebody else to sign it instead,

but it's just…

Protocols… I'm not sure how the hell the college of vets works.

It's gotta be you, Antón.

Now, come on, I know that it's not easy for you.

You're a very proud man, and that's good.

You've already shown us that you do things by the book, and we respect that.

-We need that certificate. Okay? -And you need to get out of here.

-Look at yourself. -Toñín…

What was I saying?

-That we know it's not easy for him. -That it's not easy for you.

It's understandable. But you'll be compensated fairly.

-Fair is fair, you know, Antón? -That's right.

Well, anyway.

We're not asking you to do this favor for nothing.

Nor do we want you to just go back to your life,

your old job, your cows…

Well, actually, we do want that. But we want you to do it…

…with a new work truck.

Or a blowout holiday 'cause you've earned it.

Don't say anything. Just think on it.

Wanna throw it back in our face? Wait 'til tomorrow.

Um…

bye now, Antón.

-Bye. -Yeah, see you soon.

-Hey! How you doing, Antón? -You good?

Good, good, good.

That's great, photo time! Come on, team Kawanda.

-Come on! We're taking a photo. -Photo time. Okay.

Exciting! How exciting, we're all finally here! Okay.

Ready?

-Uh-huh. -All right, family! Kawanda!

Hey!

Hey!

Open up!

You idiot, pathetic excuse for a vet!

Open up!

I'm gonna make you rue the day you were born!

All of you are going to rue the day!

Don't you know who I am? Don't you know who you're dealing with?

What the hell did you say to my daughter?!

She's gonna need therapy!

And who's gonna pay for that? You?

Open up the door!

Um, okay, look, Doc, I don't think I'm okay.

Some people told me I need to see a psychologist.

A lot of people.

Uh…

-Hmm… -Uh…

So what do I do?