All language subtitles for Old.Dog.New.Tricks.S01E01.1080p.WEB.h264-EDITH

Give me a hand here, Fermín.

Thanks for coming so soon.

-How's that girl doing?
-Well…

She stand up yet?

No. It doesn't look too good.

Come on, sweetheart.
You gotta stand up now.

You're nearly double size,
sweetheart, look at you.

You women are the ones who give life.

While we men are
just a pain in the ass, right?

-Hold her head.
-Okay.

Turn her around.

Hey, come here, girl. Come here.

-Hey, it's okay. You're okay, girl.
-It's okay.

You're okay, you're okay.

Bit of saline and you'll be right as rain.

And jumping all over the place.

-You'll feel the tiniest prick.
-There you go. There.

Well done.

Well done, girl. Well done.

Okay.

You're gonna be fine, girl.

You gotta get up in 20 minutes, okay?

-Or this guy will call the Civil Guard.
-Come on. Don't freak her out.

There she is. There's my girl.
Well done, sweetheart, well done.

Okay, so I'll send you
the invoice this afternoon.

And… we have those…
those other invoices, Loles.

Did you hear about the farm in Vilasantar?

They were up to here
in debt and closed down.

It's all gone up, you know?
Electricity, feed, all of it.

Not all.

I've charged the same
since my first communion. Not all.

Okay, look, you gotta pay me
at least something today, guys.

I gotta pay for the medicine,
the gasoline…

I can't eat air,

'cause eating air is what frogs do
with their cutaneous breathing.

Not me!

I gotta pay for my telephone
so I can take your urgent calls.

I gotta eat something.

You're right. We gotta eat something.

Antón.

What's cutaneous breathing?

♪ I know that it's ten
And you're staying in ♪

♪ La la la la la la la la la ♪

♪ I know that it's ten
And you're stayin' in ♪

♪ La la la la la la la la la ♪

This beauty believes in freedom.
She eats padlocks.

Holy mother…

Small dose of antibiotics.

It's okay, honey, it's done.

So, what? She'll crap it out?

I have to charge you something. I have to.

Antón, things are really tough right now.

Th…Things are very difficult for…
for everybody at the moment.

And I… I gotta eat, like,
you know… every day.

Restock the medicine…

Well, if you want to eat…

♪ Bring a little water ♪

♪ Bring a little wine ♪

♪ Bring a little lovin', I'll be fine ♪

Fuckin' hell!

Mother of God, please, can you just…

Oh, my darling girl.

This cow has severe fibrosis…
in her cervix

'cause you guys pull like savages
when she's giving birth.

We're almost done, girl.
You're doing so good.

Good girl!

-So it that it? Is she pregnant?
-I put the broth where it has to go.

And now life must find its way, my friend.

Could I get paid in cash?

You still owe me
for the last insemination.

Look, I come here every time you call me.

I gotta pay for gasoline,
all the medication…

This is my livelihood, you know?
I mean, come on, guys.

Look, I gotta charge you something.

I gotta charge you because…
Well, because I gotta eat, okay guys?

Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit!

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Argh!

Fuck!

I'm a fucking moron!

Why don't I have the balls to say to them,

"Listen up, I'm lactose intolerant"?!
Fucking hell!

OLD DOG, NEW TRICKS

-Everybody's having a hard time!
-♪ I know that it's ten ♪

-♪ I know you're stayin' in ♪
-I know I'm a moron! Fuck!

-♪ La la la la la… ♪
-I've got shit for brains!

Fucking hell!

Hey, Uxía, so good to hear from you,
my little niece.

It's been a while.

Well, the usual. You know how it is.
So, what's happening?

You have a vet vacancy now? Oh!

A vet vacancy, so…

Uh, what's the location?

Next to Compostela?
Would you look at that?

Kakonda? Right, right, right, right.
And what is Kakonda?

♪ Kawanda, Kawanda ♪

Aren't they pretty?

Yep.

-Welcome to Kawanda.
-Thanks, Uxía.

It sounds sort of like animal paradise,
doesn't it?

Yeah.

-How are you, Uncle?
-Well, I'm alive.

I'm glad. Let's show you around, okay?

When it comes to pets,
we've got what you're looking for.

Mostly stuff for dogs and cats,
but also for rodents, for amphibians,

reptiles, for turtles, we do it all.

We've got some flying discs,
we've got harnesses,

we got cages, we got books,
and we got beds.

We got leather leashes,
reflective leashes,

leashes that are extendible.

And this is my favorite part!
The boutique. Oh, my!

These are our most exclusive collars,
like this one that has crystals.

Uh-huh?

Don't you wish
you could wear this as well?

Oh, man!

Oh, and that's a sex doll for dogs.

-So it's just like a cushion.
-Uh, not exactly.

Because this has a mechanism
that stops it from moving while they're…

The dog relieves itself for…
for 200 big ones.

And does this product sell at all?

Does it sell? Oh, my God,
this one sells like hotcakes.

We sold seven of them last month.

And do you play this music all…
all day long?

Yeah, we play it on loop
because it relaxes the animals.

Oh, yeah? They told you that?

Hey, good one!

There's a parapharmacy,
fashion, hygiene, whatever you might need.

So it's like a supermarket?

No. No, no, no.

'Cause this is a boutique.

-Uncle, it's a boutique.
-Hmm.

-It's a phantom pregnancy.
-Come again?

The hamster?
She's got a phantom pregnancy.

It's because of stress.

I guess the music in here
didn't help very much.

Well, anyway, if you like,

you can become a part
of the Kawanda family right now, Antón.

Yeah?

Yeah, you can shove this job in your pile.

♪ Kawanda, Kawanda ♪

You've gotta be kidding me.

What are these, Antón?

Okay, Sabela, I don't wanna lie.
Those are all love letters from the bank.

Well, they must really love you then,
because they've cut off your gas.

Oh, and next is electricity.
And then water.

Oh, and fines from the council.
This is the real deal.

Do you want me to feel worse?

You can't feel worse than this.
You're up to your neck in shit, Antón.

I'm making coffee. You want coffee?
Then stop pestering me.

Honestly, I don't know
why I ever felt attracted to you.

Maybe it's because
you're all cousins here.

It's not going to work.
Don't you see that?

-Why's that?
-Because the seal is totally broken.

You can't afford a new one.

-So?
-What do you mean "so"?

Come on, Antón, this house
is gonna collapse on top of you, man.

Sabela, you do know
you're the queen of drama?

See you.

There he is.

Finally!
We've been waiting since 8:00 a.m.

-What is it?
-Antón. He's unbelievable.

-Why's he here? Where's Méndez?
-Méndez?

Méndez was paragliding, apparently.

He's been admitted to the hospital.

Antón, they're waiting
at the slaughterhouse.

He's gotta sign this.

-What's the problem here?
-I'm a country boy, but I'm not dumb.

They're injecting the cows with something
so that they retain water.

And you love to see
how great Galician beef is.

Galician quality, and all that bullshit.

If I sign the paper
and someone reports me,

then I'm fucked.

Antón, come on, man.

These guys have a lot of connections

and they could screw you over
at the tax office.

-The association of vets.
-Hmm.

You know what the Andrades are like.
How will you survive?

From a couple of dogs in town?

Who cares if a steak
shrinks a bit in the pan?

They've been shrinking our entire lives.

You'll be fine, Antón.

Okay?

I'll be fine.

-It's always fine.
-Let's go.

-It's done.
-Ah-ha. Well, thank you.

Sure.

-What a morning I'm having.
-Well, it's done now.

How is it all?

How's Toñín adapting?

Well, as you can see, he's here.

So, there's nothing
you want to go study?

-It's not my thing.
-It's not his thing.

-And I like this stuff.
-It's cool.

I like the countryside. It's cool.
I'm happy with my grandpa.

-What about his dad?
-I've no idea where his dad is.

He's in Cartagena.

Antón!

Come on.

Let's go, come on.

-Hey, Antón! What are you doing?
-What the fuck?

What the fuck are you doing, Antón?

Now you can piss freely
like pirates on the high seas!

You gotta be a moron
to put your trust in those guys.

-You gotta be a total moron.
-Well, I think they were right.

You know, you can defend me
at any point. Feel free.

I don't get why
you had to release their cows.

Because what they're doing is illegal
to those poor cows, and immoral.

Oh, hi. Are you…
are you the saint of animals?

Jesus, come on, Antón!

-I have a responsibility. I have dignity.
-And you also have a lot of bills to pay.

I'm done talking about it. Sorry.

Look, if you want to die
with your dignity intact, then do it.

But I won't be there.

Come on, hey!

If you've got something
to say to me, then say it.

You got a job offer and rejected it.

And it's just because it scares you.
You're scared of not being good enough.

Scared of being out
of your comfort zone with your cows.

Everything scares you.

Okay, let's get something straight.
I am a good vet.

I'm passionate about animals.

In that place,
where my niece is working, at Kawanda,

all they care about is money, Sabela.

Do you know what they do?

They make the clients think their pets
have these needs which aren't even real.

You think a dog needs its own toilet?

That it needs a bedtime story,
they want to wear a dress,

or need to brush their teeth?

No! Their owners just want
to enslave their animals,

so they go insane.

And I'll tell you something else,
Sabela, and then I'm done.

Surprise me then.

I would rather starve to death alone,
right here, on this cold bathroom floor,

I swear to God, Sabela,

than go to work at that pet store.

Thanks so much and we'll see you soon.

-Hi. How are you guys?
-Good afternoon.

Hey, boss, there's a weird guy out there
who's been watching us for a while.

Listen, Uxía, there's a shitty phrase
I read somewhere that says,

"If the wind changes, follow it."
And that's what I'm doing.

I know that one. Why are you here?

Well, what I said
to you the other day, uh…

about shoving this job in your pie hole?

Well, I admit, that wasn't very nice.
But our family's quick-tempered.

Try again.

I'm honestly really sorry, Uxía.

That's great. You're hired.

-Okay.
-But you're on probation.

And you can start
by moving your car. Thank you.

Uxi. I'd rather wear
my own clothes.

Right, and I wish
I could wear a gold cape.

But at Kawanda, we all dress the same.

We can't do this assessment
at another time?

You look great, Antón.

So what's wrong?

This is Pipo. He's dyslexic.

-Dyslexic?
-Mm-hmm.

Dyslexic as in
he meows instead of barking?

No, no, spatial dyslexia.
He lifts the wrong leg.

I'm sorry, what?

If the wall's here,
he should lift this leg, right?

But he lifts the other one.

-So?
-Well, I'm on the other side.

So if I'm not quick,
I get a golden shower, know what I mean?

Oh, right, right. Of course, of course.

So, what can we do?

Well, I could insert
some sort of electromagnetic chip

in his brain to fix that.

Wait a minute,
is that something you can do?

No, but if you invent an illness,
then I have to invent a remedy for it.

Well, this little cutey here isn't…
he isn't acting odd.

He is. He definitely is.
I… I know him very well.

But how do you think he's being odd?

I mean… Well, for example,

we always watched movies together
on Saturdays.

But now he falls asleep.

Oh, sure, it's odd for a rabbit
to lose interest in TV.

No, but that's not all.

Uh, well, he never comes
to the park anymore.

Well, you know parks can be full
of predators for rabbits, you know?

-Like cats, dogs…
-Yeah, yeah, but…

I have a bag with a window on the front.

-Ah!
-He loves riding in it.

And he likes shopping and…

Well, he used to like it, but not anymore.

And a partner?

Right, but you know, he's castrated,
so I don't know if…

No, I meant
you should get a partner for yourself.

Somebody that maybe
you could watch TV with,

go to the park with,

and maybe…?

Maybe?

Well, to maybe have, uh,
sex once in a while, you know?

I'm asexual.

Have you considered the possibility

that you might be putting
that asexual energy onto him?

And have you considered that
you're a fucking asshole veterinarian?

But we don't need
that multiple data in, do we? I mean…

How was it?

Antón, what did you do?

It seems they're asexual.

Who is?

I'm not really sure.

Okay, come and meet
the Kawanda team, Antón.

Ángela! I'll be your assistant
in the clinic.

Much appreciated,
but I'm still on probation and…

Right? But I know you're going to make
a big effort to fit in.

Everything's going to turn out
so wonderful, isn't it?

-This is Roi. He's a shelf stocker.
-'Sup, dude?

This is Xoel, he does…

Well, he does a little bit of everything.

We all do a bit of everything.

But we're all not salesmen.

I'm Bernardo.

How are you, Bernardo?

I do the payroll around here.

Where's the vet, please?

Antón.

-Ah, that's me, so.
-Yeah?

-Uh, would you like to tell me?
-Okay. He doesn't love me.

-My condolences.
-Yeah, he hates me.

-Does he bite or growl…?
-No, no, Calaf is a saint.

So why do you think
that Calaf, uh, doesn't like you?

It's in his eyes. As if he's judging me.

Is that how he's looking at you right now?

Yeah, like that.

Uxi, this place is ugly as hell.

What happened?
Too much emotion for the first day?

-A total roller coaster of emotions.
-You'll get there, Antón.

I'm not sure I will get there
if I'm honest, Uxía.

What do you mean, Antón?
Hey, I really believe in you.

If you work hard,
I think you'll reach the standard needed.

I think that you just focus
on healing the animals,

and on making their parents happy.

Parents? Whose parents?

-The animals' parents.
-Oh my God.

I mean, they didn't give birth to them,
but the bond is basically the same.

Don't be so hard on yourself, Antón.

Not everyone can handle this, you know?

Come on in, please.

Hey, Antón? You got a spare second?

Oh, I've got all the time in the world
for my boss. Tell me. What is it?

Could we do a quick assessment then, yeah?

-Okay.
-This is Miguel, my partner.

Oh, it's a pleasure to meet you, Miguel.

And this baby here is Chusky, our tiger.

-I need you to have a look at him, okay?
-Of course. Tell me what's going on.

Well, basically,
he's misbehaving more than usual.

And scratching
and he's started peeing everywhere.

But he's not like this.

I took him in off the street.
He was a stray but he was good.

And when did this terrible Tasmanian devil
start to change?

Well, I guess, a month ago.
A month and a half.

Yeah, more or less.

And like I said,
he's just been super on-edge, so…

Like the bathroom door is ruined
from him scratching.

And he scratched you.

-He scratched Miguel.
-Mm-hmm.

Miguel, that scratch.
Can I take a look at it?

Sure, of course.

Well, I don't know, Uxi. This is…

It's probably stress because the cat
is spending so much time alone.

-Because of your job--
-It's not that.

I'm at home all day studying.

Well, maybe the stress is because
of a new person in the building or…

-Or perhaps noisy neighbors?
-Oh, well yeah.

There's a new neighbor.
She plays the piano.

She's always playing.
Poor girl practices all day long.

But it doesn't make us stress.
It's quite nice.

Hmm. Mm-hmm.

Okay, okay.

Is this going to take much longer?
I've gotta study, so…

Oh, you can go study, Miguel. Um…

Uxía and I will run some, uh, some tests,

and you can take him home after.
That sound good?

-You don't mind?
-No, I don't mind.

-Okay.
-I'll leave you with Antón, Chusky.

-Bye.
-Want to go get a coffee?

What happened, Chusky? Huh?
What happened, Chusky? What happened?

Andrea.

Ángela. But if you prefer,
you can call me Andrea.

You'll have to tell me your secret
for smiling so much. I just can't do it.

See you tomorrow, Ángela.

Don't ever change.

Hey, Antón? What's wrong with Chusky?

Do you prefer to know the truth
even if it hurts you?

A cat mom can always sense
these kinds of things.

-There's something wrong, isn't there?
-Your cat is the pinnacle of good health.

Just tell me, Antón. Come on.

We're both going to regret this, Uxía.

Antón, just tell me.
I gotta know if he's okay.

Uxía, your boyfriend is cheating on you.

That's not cool. That's not cool.

I mean, if you didn't want the job,
then just say.

But don't lie to me,
because that's not cool.

The scratch on Miguel's arm
isn't from a cat, it's from a human.

The bathroom door is scratched to shreds
because they think it's a good idea

to lock him in there
while they go through the musical score.

That's crazy, Antón.

You are totally out of your mind.

And I knew that
you're not right in the head.

And I still decided to give you a trial.

And you know why?
Because I was desperate, Antón.

I was desperate
to fill the veterinarian role.

And because I felt pity for you.
You hear that? I felt pity!

Now get the hell out of here!
I never want to see you again.

Get out! Miguel wouldn't cheat on me.

I knew I was going to regret that.

RATE YOUR EXPERIENCE TODAY

THANKS! YOUR OPINION MATTERS!

Come in.

Upstairs.

What is it the Italians say?
"Piano, piano."

Right. "Piano, piano."

Make yourself comfortable.
Wherever… wherever you like.

Hey, I'm sorry about the Miguel thing. I…

Antón, you're hired.

But you're still on probation, okay?

I've got some lentils
sitting in the kitchen if you want.

-That would be great.
-Sure, it's not very hot.

-Has the cat eaten?
-The cat has eaten, yeah.

My darling little cat.

Welcome home, Chusky.