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1
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This programme contains strong
language and adult humour
2
00:00:04,120 --> 00:00:05,630
On a scale of one to ten, how
strong are your feelings?
3
00:00:05,640 --> 00:00:07,110
Previously...
4
00:00:07,120 --> 00:00:09,630
9.5.
CHEERING
5
00:00:09,640 --> 00:00:12,830
...while the dinner
party brought some couples closer...
6
00:00:12,840 --> 00:00:14,430
Why are you just the best human?
7
00:00:14,440 --> 00:00:16,550
...others grew further apart.
8
00:00:16,560 --> 00:00:18,470
I don't think I can stay.
What am I doing here?
9
00:00:18,480 --> 00:00:20,310
I'm at the point of my life now,
10
00:00:20,320 --> 00:00:21,950
I need to know you want the same
thing.
11
00:00:21,960 --> 00:00:23,830
I haven't got time to waste.
12
00:00:23,840 --> 00:00:25,910
And Nelly and Steven's marriage...
13
00:00:25,920 --> 00:00:28,670
He BLEEP like, two weeks
before he came here.
14
00:00:28,680 --> 00:00:31,110
Oi! ..was rocked by rumours
in the group.
15
00:00:31,120 --> 00:00:33,750
Who has decided to say I was
talking about my sexual activity?
16
00:00:33,760 --> 00:00:35,270
You did. We were all there.
17
00:00:35,280 --> 00:00:37,680
People are starting to BLEEP me off
like that, that, that.
18
00:00:40,560 --> 00:00:41,910
BLEEP! BLEEP!
19
00:00:41,920 --> 00:00:43,760
Wow! Did he just say that?
20
00:00:46,080 --> 00:00:47,070
Tonight...
21
00:00:47,080 --> 00:00:48,230
I get bored saying the same thing
22
00:00:48,240 --> 00:00:49,750
over and over again. You keep saying
that.
23
00:00:49,760 --> 00:00:51,750
Don't antagonise me, then.
Don't raise your voice at me.
24
00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:53,830
Nelly and Steven continue
to clash.
25
00:00:53,840 --> 00:00:55,030
BLEEP idiot!
26
00:00:55,040 --> 00:00:56,870
Why am I liking someone
who's treating me like this?
27
00:00:56,880 --> 00:00:58,070
Ahead of a tense...
28
00:00:58,080 --> 00:01:00,350
We have hit an issue this week.
29
00:01:00,360 --> 00:01:04,070
If this is the way it is,
I can't do this forever.
30
00:01:04,080 --> 00:01:06,390
...and emotional commitment ceremony.
31
00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:09,510
My mindset really hasn't shifted
that much.
32
00:01:09,520 --> 00:01:10,950
Sorry. I've just got to jump in.
33
00:01:10,960 --> 00:01:14,030
It's time
to actually take responsibility.
34
00:01:14,040 --> 00:01:16,160
This week has been awful.
It's been hell.
35
00:01:17,640 --> 00:01:19,240
I don't know who you are.
36
00:01:28,480 --> 00:01:33,360
Oh, they feel, like, weird.
Oh, they're soggy little doggies.
37
00:01:36,080 --> 00:01:38,950
Make me pretty. Paint me like one of
your French girls.
38
00:01:38,960 --> 00:01:40,320
Yes, ma'am.
39
00:01:42,480 --> 00:01:45,270
It's the morning
after an eventful dinner party.
40
00:01:45,280 --> 00:01:46,630
Here's your brew, love.
41
00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:48,080
INDISTINCT
42
00:01:49,800 --> 00:01:52,910
So, last night. I knew something was
going to kick off.
43
00:01:52,920 --> 00:01:55,310
I could feel it in my bones. Just...
44
00:01:55,320 --> 00:01:57,110
It's just Chinese whispers all the
time, man.
45
00:01:57,120 --> 00:01:58,910
It's all going to come out
in the end, do you know what I mean?
46
00:01:58,920 --> 00:02:00,830
Yeah. I felt sorry for Nelly.
47
00:02:00,840 --> 00:02:04,750
To be fair, I didn't expect Steven
to sort of lose his rag. To me,
48
00:02:04,760 --> 00:02:06,150
what that proved last night, though,
49
00:02:06,160 --> 00:02:07,990
those two are so different,
like, emotionally.
50
00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:09,600
Yeah.
51
00:02:11,680 --> 00:02:15,080
Didn't expect the whole night to be
so focused on Nelly and Steven.
52
00:02:16,160 --> 00:02:18,430
I feel like it just kind
of spiralled, didn't it?
53
00:02:18,440 --> 00:02:20,510
And then when all that kicked off,
54
00:02:20,520 --> 00:02:23,550
and Divarni's wife is having
an argument with Steven.
55
00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:26,030
Divarni was just chilling next to
me, just like... It was...
56
00:02:26,040 --> 00:02:27,190
The whole thing was awkward.
57
00:02:27,200 --> 00:02:29,470
If he had just stood up, I feel like
that would have meant the world.
58
00:02:29,480 --> 00:02:30,560
Mm.
59
00:02:33,160 --> 00:02:36,270
Oh. How are you feeling
about last night?
60
00:02:36,280 --> 00:02:38,400
It was intense. Mm-hm. Defo.
61
00:02:39,920 --> 00:02:41,670
What? I was
talking about my sexual activity.
62
00:02:41,680 --> 00:02:43,030
Yeah. You did. No, I was not.
63
00:02:43,040 --> 00:02:44,830
At last night's dinner party,
64
00:02:44,840 --> 00:02:48,030
Julia-Ruth felt let
down by her husband's actions.
65
00:02:48,040 --> 00:02:51,230
Divarni, Maeve, you were there.
So what is it?
66
00:02:51,240 --> 00:02:53,070
Divarni, don't leave me hanging.
67
00:02:53,080 --> 00:02:54,160
No, seriously.
68
00:02:55,480 --> 00:02:57,110
I don't need anyone to, like,
fight my battles.
69
00:02:57,120 --> 00:02:58,750
I can do that. But I think
70
00:02:58,760 --> 00:03:01,630
if I'm calling your name,
I need you to step up and...
71
00:03:01,640 --> 00:03:04,720
And be there.
Yeah. It is what it is.
72
00:03:07,680 --> 00:03:09,510
I knew I should have had your back
at that moment in time,
73
00:03:09,520 --> 00:03:11,270
and I take full accountability
for it.
74
00:03:11,280 --> 00:03:12,830
It's just that he was yelling across
75
00:03:12,840 --> 00:03:15,350
the room, and I just felt like
no-one was defending Nelly.
76
00:03:15,360 --> 00:03:18,670
And, yeah, I was looking for
confirmation from me.
77
00:03:18,680 --> 00:03:20,590
You're my husband.
78
00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:23,240
It was wrong for me not stepping up
and obviously being there for you.
79
00:03:24,680 --> 00:03:28,230
I did feel bad. Going forward,
100% I'm going to be there
80
00:03:28,240 --> 00:03:30,510
for any confrontation
that takes place.
81
00:03:30,520 --> 00:03:31,950
He said what he said,
he's apologised,
82
00:03:31,960 --> 00:03:35,910
but there's no place to hide with
the commitment ceremonies.
83
00:03:35,920 --> 00:03:37,670
I think sometimes he likes to preach
84
00:03:37,680 --> 00:03:40,310
a big game,
but then the actions don't match.
85
00:03:40,320 --> 00:03:43,390
Today's decision is very important,
but I feel like it reflects the week
86
00:03:43,400 --> 00:03:45,040
that Divarni and I have
had together.
87
00:03:52,440 --> 00:03:55,510
It was a bit of a crazy one last
night. It was, wasn't it? I know.
88
00:03:55,520 --> 00:03:57,990
Last night's dinner party, for me,
89
00:03:58,000 --> 00:04:00,720
I could sense that there
was an awkward energy in the room.
90
00:04:01,960 --> 00:04:03,870
Dean and I had our first argument.
91
00:04:03,880 --> 00:04:06,310
I'd made a comment
that Dean didn't like,
92
00:04:06,320 --> 00:04:09,230
so I am very nervous
for the commitment ceremony.
93
00:04:09,240 --> 00:04:11,870
I obviously didn't have a great
time last week,
94
00:04:11,880 --> 00:04:14,750
so I really just want to have
a clean slate
95
00:04:14,760 --> 00:04:16,990
and just move on and not be
in the fighting line.
96
00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:18,120
You know?
97
00:04:20,560 --> 00:04:21,950
I have been making more
of an effort.
98
00:04:21,960 --> 00:04:25,350
I did throw myself into the intimacy
workshop, I have been trying.
99
00:04:25,360 --> 00:04:26,390
I'm not just sort of like
100
00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:28,030
shying away from anything. Yeah,
yeah, yeah.
101
00:04:28,040 --> 00:04:29,110
Do you know what I mean?
102
00:04:29,120 --> 00:04:30,670
You are genuinely such a lovely
person.
103
00:04:30,680 --> 00:04:31,910
You have got a heart of gold.
104
00:04:31,920 --> 00:04:34,030
But I
just think people don't understand.
105
00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:35,390
They haven't seen
that side of you yet.
106
00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:37,790
No. Obviously, we had that blip,
that argument,
107
00:04:37,800 --> 00:04:39,910
but we've dealt with that.
108
00:04:39,920 --> 00:04:41,950
That will be...
It'll be... It'll be fine.
109
00:04:41,960 --> 00:04:43,320
You won't get shouted at tonight.
110
00:04:49,280 --> 00:04:52,950
Walking into the dinner party
was slightly disappointing.
111
00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:55,710
I thought we would
perhaps come together.
112
00:04:55,720 --> 00:05:00,150
Why didn't you want to come to
the dinner party with me?
113
00:05:00,160 --> 00:05:02,750
That was me kind of taking a step
back.
114
00:05:02,760 --> 00:05:04,990
Judge me after six, eight,
ten weeks,
115
00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:06,750
don't judge me after two weeks.
116
00:05:06,760 --> 00:05:10,590
I'm at a point of my life now
where I need to know where I stand.
117
00:05:10,600 --> 00:05:12,910
I need to know you want the same
thing.
118
00:05:12,920 --> 00:05:14,240
Time's precious.
119
00:05:19,440 --> 00:05:21,510
Anita and I have lots of positives.
120
00:05:21,520 --> 00:05:24,070
The most important ones we have are
the values.
121
00:05:24,080 --> 00:05:27,910
Manners, respect,
understanding, compassion.
122
00:05:27,920 --> 00:05:30,110
For me,
that's a great foundation stone.
123
00:05:30,120 --> 00:05:32,600
I'm hoping that that can be built
on.
124
00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:35,870
My only regret off yesterday
125
00:05:35,880 --> 00:05:39,430
was not actually arriving
at the dinner party with Paul.
126
00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:41,680
I didn't want to give them the wrong
impression.
127
00:05:43,480 --> 00:05:47,670
I do adore Paul. He's a gentleman.
He pulls the chairs out,
128
00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:51,110
he puts the chair in.
He's very attentive,
129
00:05:51,120 --> 00:05:54,630
but he's never very clear on stuff.
Paul will go around the houses
130
00:05:54,640 --> 00:05:57,030
and still come back
with two answers.
131
00:05:57,040 --> 00:05:59,640
I'm really unsure of where I stand.
132
00:06:00,840 --> 00:06:04,160
Your decision to go separately
was disappointing.
133
00:06:05,760 --> 00:06:06,830
When I look back and think
134
00:06:06,840 --> 00:06:10,750
that maybe if I'd just said,
we'll go together.
135
00:06:10,760 --> 00:06:12,080
But I just panicked.
136
00:06:13,200 --> 00:06:16,030
We had a good week,
spent time together,
137
00:06:16,040 --> 00:06:20,390
and I thought... perhaps
138
00:06:20,400 --> 00:06:22,480
things were going
in the right direction.
139
00:06:23,680 --> 00:06:26,750
I can see some of the reasons
why they've matched us,
140
00:06:26,760 --> 00:06:30,110
but I'm a great believer
in time's precious.
141
00:06:30,120 --> 00:06:34,350
Well, it's a ten-week experiment.
This is week two.
142
00:06:34,360 --> 00:06:36,390
I take time, don't I?
143
00:06:36,400 --> 00:06:37,750
And I think it's always
been abundant
144
00:06:37,760 --> 00:06:39,910
that you've wanted
to get there quicker.
145
00:06:39,920 --> 00:06:41,480
Yeah.
146
00:06:44,760 --> 00:06:46,790
Today's a massive decision.
147
00:06:46,800 --> 00:06:49,510
All marriages are a work
in progress.
148
00:06:49,520 --> 00:06:52,990
I've said all along
that it takes me time to grow.
149
00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:57,310
And perhaps time
is something she will give me
150
00:06:57,320 --> 00:06:59,960
to find the love
and compassion that's inside me.
151
00:07:02,640 --> 00:07:07,230
Today's commitment ceremony
and my decision is very important.
152
00:07:07,240 --> 00:07:10,350
I said I would put 100%
into the experiment
153
00:07:10,360 --> 00:07:15,800
and try and grow and see
where the relationship goes to.
154
00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:20,230
I've got lots to think about.
155
00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:21,750
Pros and cons of staying.
156
00:07:21,760 --> 00:07:26,040
Pros and cons of leaving. Deep down,
I really don't know what to do.
157
00:07:32,400 --> 00:07:33,990
I feel good going into today.
158
00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:35,870
I would have woke up
feeling much better today
159
00:07:35,880 --> 00:07:38,680
if I knew I'd had
a hot candle wax massage, but...
160
00:07:40,760 --> 00:07:42,590
...you know, today's a new day.
161
00:07:42,600 --> 00:07:45,670
I'm hoping that, like after the week
we've had this week,
162
00:07:45,680 --> 00:07:48,510
we can move forward
in a positive way.
163
00:07:48,520 --> 00:07:51,950
I was just knackered last night,
so we will do that this week.
164
00:07:51,960 --> 00:07:53,750
Everyone's gonna ask you
the question.
165
00:07:53,760 --> 00:07:55,280
Did you give me a massage?
166
00:07:56,560 --> 00:07:59,150
It definitely hasn't been
the smoothest week for Leigh and I.
167
00:07:59,160 --> 00:08:01,390
I think physical intimacy does need
to come.
168
00:08:01,400 --> 00:08:02,550
It's important, you know,
169
00:08:02,560 --> 00:08:04,150
in marriage you've got to commit
to it.
170
00:08:04,160 --> 00:08:06,230
You've got to do your homework,
Leigh.
171
00:08:06,240 --> 00:08:07,430
At the end of the day,
172
00:08:07,440 --> 00:08:10,870
that whole situation with Rebecca
is well and truly put to bed.
173
00:08:10,880 --> 00:08:12,830
I think we're definitely on the same
page now.
174
00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:15,830
Yeah. I hope so.
I've got feelings attached
175
00:08:15,840 --> 00:08:19,110
to this Rebecca situation.
At the commitment ceremony,
176
00:08:19,120 --> 00:08:20,430
I'm hoping to just speak about
177
00:08:20,440 --> 00:08:23,590
what certain feelings might mean
or where they're coming from,
178
00:08:23,600 --> 00:08:27,270
and just get some advice on how
we can move forward.
179
00:08:27,280 --> 00:08:29,350
Maybe less pressure on the intimacy,
180
00:08:29,360 --> 00:08:31,440
because I'm tired of hearing
about it.
181
00:08:36,760 --> 00:08:40,110
I'm going to get asked loads
of questions about 9.5 Bay.
182
00:08:40,120 --> 00:08:43,430
Oh, my God! 9.5.
What? You don't like that?
183
00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:44,750
I just didn't think you would
184
00:08:44,760 --> 00:08:46,750
declare your love
for me in that way.
185
00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:49,150
"Declare your love." Jesus!
I'm looking forward to it.
186
00:08:49,160 --> 00:08:51,640
Can't wait for tonight. Yeah. Me,
too. I'm excited. Mm.
187
00:08:58,200 --> 00:09:01,190
I'm a bit anxious about the
commitment ceremony. This week
188
00:09:01,200 --> 00:09:02,830
with Ashley's been up and down.
189
00:09:02,840 --> 00:09:04,870
He thinks I pick up on too much.
190
00:09:04,880 --> 00:09:06,950
And I think he's oblivious to a lot
191
00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:09,350
of the things he says
and how they come across.
192
00:09:09,360 --> 00:09:10,830
I'm not looking forward to
the kind of things
193
00:09:10,840 --> 00:09:13,960
that me and Ash have to share with
the experts.
194
00:09:18,400 --> 00:09:20,670
Yeah, it's intimacy based. Yeah.
195
00:09:20,680 --> 00:09:22,390
That makes me anxious
because I'm private.
196
00:09:22,400 --> 00:09:24,270
I don't like the idea of having
197
00:09:24,280 --> 00:09:26,990
a very personal conversation
quite publicly.
198
00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:28,880
But I will have to on this occasion.
199
00:09:30,080 --> 00:09:32,390
I think it's good
that we're starting to speak.
200
00:09:32,400 --> 00:09:35,190
We've got as far as we can take it,
and we do want help.
201
00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:37,350
I think it's going to help.
It's going to make it better.
202
00:09:37,360 --> 00:09:39,160
Oh, yoi, yoi, yoi.
203
00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:41,550
I think this is going to be
204
00:09:41,560 --> 00:09:43,790
a really big commitment ceremony
for Grace and I.
205
00:09:43,800 --> 00:09:46,790
She's been at me to not speak about
the intimacy side,
206
00:09:46,800 --> 00:09:49,550
but I think we've hit a stage now
where I don't
207
00:09:49,560 --> 00:09:50,670
feel like we're moving forward.
208
00:09:50,680 --> 00:09:53,800
So I'm going to open up
today with the experts.
209
00:10:03,720 --> 00:10:06,550
Last night's dinner party
was very intense.
210
00:10:06,560 --> 00:10:08,950
Other people getting involved
in Nelly and I's relationship
211
00:10:08,960 --> 00:10:10,600
is something I always wanted
to avoid.
212
00:10:12,040 --> 00:10:13,230
But I think for me, going into
213
00:10:13,240 --> 00:10:16,790
the commitment ceremony today, I'm
a little bit up in the air.
214
00:10:16,800 --> 00:10:19,520
Maybe when the pen hits the paper,
I'll actually make a decision then.
215
00:10:20,680 --> 00:10:23,910
This week, there's been way more
downs than there have been ups.
216
00:10:23,920 --> 00:10:26,030
I broke my rib
and Steven stayed out till
217
00:10:26,040 --> 00:10:28,510
the very end of the night, and
he was the last one to come home.
218
00:10:28,520 --> 00:10:30,350
Even though he said he's got making
up to do
219
00:10:30,360 --> 00:10:32,110
and he's going to really work on
that this week,
220
00:10:32,120 --> 00:10:36,430
I still fear that he doesn't
understand why I feel the way I do,
221
00:10:36,440 --> 00:10:38,560
and it makes me feel
really neglected.
222
00:10:41,560 --> 00:10:43,040
Where do I start?
223
00:10:46,200 --> 00:10:49,070
You were discussing
your previous history
224
00:10:49,080 --> 00:10:51,670
on the day that you should have been
at home with me.
225
00:10:51,680 --> 00:10:53,590
When they started bringing
up my dating history,
226
00:10:53,600 --> 00:10:55,710
and who I may
or may not have slept with
227
00:10:55,720 --> 00:10:58,310
before the experiment started,
is totally irrelevant to this.
228
00:10:58,320 --> 00:11:01,550
It's adding more fuel to the fire.
But I think it's just
229
00:11:01,560 --> 00:11:05,150
why is he talking about that
when he should be checking in on me?
230
00:11:05,160 --> 00:11:07,110
Why is that even relevant?
231
00:11:07,120 --> 00:11:08,790
The girls have set you
down and said,
232
00:11:08,800 --> 00:11:12,150
"Oh, this is going around about
Steven." But it's like, "Back off!"
233
00:11:12,160 --> 00:11:13,240
That doesn't...
234
00:11:14,480 --> 00:11:16,270
I don't think this conversation
is going anywhere.
235
00:11:16,280 --> 00:11:18,670
The relationship is going round in
circles.
236
00:11:18,680 --> 00:11:20,710
Fuck me.
237
00:11:20,720 --> 00:11:22,670
Don't get mad at me.
When am I getting mad at you?
238
00:11:22,680 --> 00:11:24,070
It's going round and round in
circles.
239
00:11:24,080 --> 00:11:26,150
I get bored of saying
the same thing over and over again.
240
00:11:26,160 --> 00:11:29,110
You keep saying that.
Because I have to fucking say it.
241
00:11:29,120 --> 00:11:31,070
Don't raise your voice at me.
242
00:11:31,080 --> 00:11:32,950
Don't fucking antagonise me,
then, Nelly. Simple as that.
243
00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:34,710
You're not a child.
You can handle your own emotions.
244
00:11:34,720 --> 00:11:37,030
Yeah, I can handle my own emotions.
And don't shout at me.
245
00:11:37,040 --> 00:11:40,190
Don't fucking antagonise me, Nelly.
You're not a child.
246
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:42,710
You can... Don't fucking call me...
Don't say I'm not a child as well.
247
00:11:42,720 --> 00:11:44,230
Don't tell me not
to antagonise you.
248
00:11:44,240 --> 00:11:46,590
I'm not antagonising you. You're
doing exactly that. So let's just
not talk.
249
00:11:46,600 --> 00:11:49,030
I'm not antagonising anyone,
so don't speak to me that way.
250
00:11:49,040 --> 00:11:50,470
Let's just not talk. Don't speak
251
00:11:50,480 --> 00:11:52,240
to me that way. OK. Let's just not
talk. Fine.
252
00:11:55,280 --> 00:11:56,870
Sorry?
253
00:11:56,880 --> 00:11:58,630
I said fucking idiot!
254
00:11:58,640 --> 00:12:00,360
That's what I said.
255
00:12:08,760 --> 00:12:11,230
Name-calling is the nastiest
thing ever.
256
00:12:11,240 --> 00:12:13,030
There you go. Don't name call.
257
00:12:13,040 --> 00:12:15,160
I think it's disgusting
when people name call.
258
00:12:16,800 --> 00:12:18,470
Where is your empathy in this?
Where are you thinking,
259
00:12:18,480 --> 00:12:19,790
"You know what, Nells,
260
00:12:19,800 --> 00:12:21,600
"poor girl has had a really
rough week."
261
00:12:22,840 --> 00:12:25,230
And then you've called me
a fucking idiot.
262
00:12:25,240 --> 00:12:26,520
Like that's so rude.
263
00:12:28,200 --> 00:12:30,600
That is a line
that you I can't deal with.
264
00:12:34,160 --> 00:12:36,550
It sucks. I don't want to be here
in this position.
265
00:12:36,560 --> 00:12:37,590
I feel like a bit of a clown.
266
00:12:37,600 --> 00:12:39,630
I feel like I should just go
and put some clown make-up on.
267
00:12:39,640 --> 00:12:41,680
Why am I liking someone
who's treating me like this?
268
00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:46,150
I don't think name-calling me
is making up to me, hon.
269
00:12:46,160 --> 00:12:47,240
It's not.
270
00:12:48,280 --> 00:12:49,790
I think it's disgusting.
271
00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:51,630
It's something
that I'm never going to tolerate.
272
00:12:51,640 --> 00:12:54,000
That is the first and last time
you will speak to me like that.
273
00:13:34,600 --> 00:13:38,230
Welcome to the second
commitment ceremony.
274
00:13:38,240 --> 00:13:41,630
We know this week has brought
some of you closer,
275
00:13:41,640 --> 00:13:44,550
and posed new challenges for others.
276
00:13:44,560 --> 00:13:46,430
Please put your trust in us
277
00:13:46,440 --> 00:13:50,270
and bring your true thoughts
and feelings to the couch.
278
00:13:50,280 --> 00:13:51,520
Let's get started.
279
00:13:54,320 --> 00:13:57,880
First up to the couch,
Maeve and Joe.
280
00:14:04,880 --> 00:14:06,560
All right. Hiya. Hello.
281
00:14:08,040 --> 00:14:12,310
This is very natural body language
right here. Yes. You two together.
282
00:14:12,320 --> 00:14:14,110
And also, you know
there's coordination going on.
283
00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:16,470
It's a vibe. It's my idea as well.
Yeah, it actually is!
284
00:14:16,480 --> 00:14:17,910
It makes us a team as well,
doesn't it?
285
00:14:17,920 --> 00:14:20,750
Everyone knows we're together, so.
So you're a team?
286
00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:23,400
Yeah, of course we are.
Yeah, 100%. I love it.
287
00:14:24,560 --> 00:14:27,670
This week, I came to your apartment.
Yeah. You did.
288
00:14:27,680 --> 00:14:33,030
So this was ultimately
about building self-worth.
289
00:14:33,040 --> 00:14:35,990
And it was changing the script
in your mind,
290
00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:39,470
Maeve, around not believing
291
00:14:39,480 --> 00:14:41,670
when someone tells you
something positive.
292
00:14:41,680 --> 00:14:44,710
Yeah.
I actually don't know how I feel.
293
00:14:44,720 --> 00:14:46,750
I get the compliment.
Obviously, it's nice to hear,
294
00:14:46,760 --> 00:14:49,790
but, like, I actually don't know
what to do after.
295
00:14:49,800 --> 00:14:55,160
Do you remember what I asked you
to say in the exercise?
296
00:14:58,920 --> 00:15:00,990
Joe could even help you out.
297
00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:03,790
I believe it,
I receive it, and I thank you.
298
00:15:03,800 --> 00:15:07,230
That's it.
Yeah. You believe it
299
00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:10,390
and you're appreciative
that the compliment came.
300
00:15:10,400 --> 00:15:11,910
And the more that you do this,
301
00:15:11,920 --> 00:15:14,390
I promise you,
you will rewrite the script.
302
00:15:14,400 --> 00:15:16,110
And it may take some time,
303
00:15:16,120 --> 00:15:20,160
because that negative script has
been ingrained in you for so long.
304
00:15:21,560 --> 00:15:23,590
Like, I'm actually starting to,
like,
305
00:15:23,600 --> 00:15:26,270
believe what he's saying.
He said, obviously,
306
00:15:26,280 --> 00:15:27,550
that I make you feel
307
00:15:27,560 --> 00:15:30,670
more comfortable in social
situations. Yeah.
308
00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:33,390
But then, obviously, like, I believe
that because how we opened up
309
00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:34,910
like yesterday
at the dinner party.
310
00:15:34,920 --> 00:15:36,790
Like, that was a massive thing
for you to do.
311
00:15:36,800 --> 00:15:38,590
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I was like so proud of him.
312
00:15:38,600 --> 00:15:40,950
And I think, like, I don't
want to speak on behalf of everyone,
313
00:15:40,960 --> 00:15:43,510
but I do think everyone else
is so proud of him for doing it.
314
00:15:43,520 --> 00:15:45,360
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Did you see that? Yay!
315
00:15:46,880 --> 00:15:49,070
But this is
why I feel the way I do about you.
316
00:15:49,080 --> 00:15:51,030
Because you're just so...
317
00:15:51,040 --> 00:15:53,630
You have my back so much.
And just...
318
00:15:53,640 --> 00:15:55,390
That's why I feel
so strongly about you,
319
00:15:55,400 --> 00:15:57,320
because she's such a great person.
320
00:16:01,160 --> 00:16:03,800
Oh. It's OK.
321
00:16:06,040 --> 00:16:08,910
I've just found, like...
God! Why am I crying?
322
00:16:08,920 --> 00:16:10,000
It's OK.
323
00:16:11,360 --> 00:16:12,440
You want a tissue?
324
00:16:15,480 --> 00:16:17,990
I've just found the whole
thing quite overwhelming.
325
00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:21,190
Just the whole process.
That's where she's just been
326
00:16:21,200 --> 00:16:22,470
such a solid rock for me.
327
00:16:22,480 --> 00:16:24,910
She knows what I've been through
in the past with,
328
00:16:24,920 --> 00:16:27,230
like, the booze and what have you,
329
00:16:27,240 --> 00:16:32,230
but she's just been
so reliable and so strong for me.
330
00:16:32,240 --> 00:16:34,990
She's literally got a heart of gold.
So it's like,
331
00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:36,350
that's why I'm getting emotional
332
00:16:36,360 --> 00:16:39,030
because I've
never actually met someone that's
333
00:16:39,040 --> 00:16:43,150
so selfless in a relationship.
334
00:16:43,160 --> 00:16:46,190
We just know we're there for each
other... Yeah. ..when we need it.
335
00:16:46,200 --> 00:16:47,270
But my sort of...
336
00:16:47,280 --> 00:16:49,110
That's what it's all about. Yeah.
Having each other's back.
337
00:16:49,120 --> 00:16:53,470
You've got to. My sort of biggest
worry in our relationship,
338
00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:56,230
though, is obviously with my past,
339
00:16:56,240 --> 00:16:58,510
the drinking and the drugs
and stuff like that.
340
00:16:58,520 --> 00:17:01,510
She's very much...
Likes to party. Yeah.
341
00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:04,070
Which is absolutely fine,
and I do it now and again.
342
00:17:04,080 --> 00:17:07,150
But my biggest worry is that I don't
want to be like the fun sponge.
343
00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:08,790
Yeah, but you're not going to be.
344
00:17:08,800 --> 00:17:09,950
If I don't want to go out,
345
00:17:09,960 --> 00:17:12,510
I'm choosing not to go out
because I'd rather be with you.
346
00:17:12,520 --> 00:17:13,590
Yeah. I think, Joe,
347
00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:16,670
it's very important to hear
what Maeve is saying.
348
00:17:16,680 --> 00:17:18,310
Yeah. What she's telling you is
349
00:17:18,320 --> 00:17:23,590
that she prefers to spend time with
you because of you.
350
00:17:23,600 --> 00:17:25,790
She's giving you a compliment.
Mm-hm.
351
00:17:25,800 --> 00:17:28,910
It's very important
for you to receive
352
00:17:28,920 --> 00:17:32,150
and believe what she is saying.
353
00:17:32,160 --> 00:17:34,230
I've never had calm in my life.
354
00:17:34,240 --> 00:17:37,150
There's always been drama
constantly.
355
00:17:37,160 --> 00:17:40,230
And when I'm with Joe, it's quiet.
He's me calm.
356
00:17:40,240 --> 00:17:41,590
And that's all I've ever wanted.
357
00:17:41,600 --> 00:17:44,350
I know it sounds silly,
but I like it.
358
00:17:44,360 --> 00:17:46,270
It doesn't sound silly at all.
359
00:17:46,280 --> 00:17:49,870
What is better than being able
to spend time
360
00:17:49,880 --> 00:17:52,630
with someone
that you feel safe with,
361
00:17:52,640 --> 00:17:54,150
that gives you strength,
362
00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:55,870
that is helping you to become
a better person.
363
00:17:55,880 --> 00:17:57,040
What's better than that?
364
00:17:58,160 --> 00:17:59,600
Yeah. Yeah.
365
00:18:02,880 --> 00:18:07,280
I think you're amazing.
And I've been in love before...
366
00:18:08,920 --> 00:18:12,400
...and I've been trying
to find love again.
367
00:18:13,640 --> 00:18:15,270
And I genuinely think I am. Well,
368
00:18:15,280 --> 00:18:17,960
I have fallen in love with,
you know.
369
00:18:23,120 --> 00:18:24,760
I'm getting the hot flush.
370
00:18:26,680 --> 00:18:29,350
100%. So there you go.
371
00:18:29,360 --> 00:18:31,080
Oh!
372
00:18:35,640 --> 00:18:39,390
I can't tell you how much you
actually mean to me.
373
00:18:39,400 --> 00:18:42,870
I just honestly, like,
I've never met anyone like you.
374
00:18:42,880 --> 00:18:45,870
Ever. And you know what it is, yeah.
375
00:18:45,880 --> 00:18:47,440
I do love you, too.
376
00:18:51,600 --> 00:18:53,080
Oh, my God!
377
00:18:57,920 --> 00:18:59,670
We are all hot here.
378
00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:01,240
Get this, get this, get this.
379
00:19:03,520 --> 00:19:06,190
I think we should just get right to
a decision.
380
00:19:06,200 --> 00:19:10,310
All right. Yeah,
this is a pretty obvious answer.
381
00:19:10,320 --> 00:19:11,880
You know the way I feel about you.
382
00:19:13,880 --> 00:19:17,430
I do love you.
And I honestly can't wait to see
383
00:19:17,440 --> 00:19:19,430
what the rest of this process,
384
00:19:19,440 --> 00:19:22,150
and hopefully beyond,
has in store for us.
385
00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:24,590
So it's stay.
386
00:19:24,600 --> 00:19:25,760
Oh!
387
00:19:29,720 --> 00:19:30,910
Maeve?
388
00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:32,310
I just honestly want to say, like,
389
00:19:32,320 --> 00:19:33,630
thank you for everything.
390
00:19:33,640 --> 00:19:36,430
Each day I'm learning something new
about myself.
391
00:19:36,440 --> 00:19:38,670
And, honestly, like, I can't
392
00:19:38,680 --> 00:19:40,400
tell you how much
I actually appreciate you.
393
00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:43,920
So, um, I'm staying.
394
00:19:50,920 --> 00:19:53,790
We've seen incredible growth between
the two of you.
395
00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:55,710
We're so incredibly proud of you.
396
00:19:55,720 --> 00:19:58,480
Thank you so much. Well done, guys.
Thank you.
397
00:20:05,200 --> 00:20:06,870
Ah! You're in love!
398
00:20:06,880 --> 00:20:08,600
I know! What the fuck!
399
00:20:16,600 --> 00:20:17,920
Next up...
400
00:20:19,200 --> 00:20:20,960
Julia-Ruth and Divarni.
401
00:20:25,720 --> 00:20:28,760
Hello. Hello, you two. Welcome.
402
00:20:31,040 --> 00:20:34,590
All right. How are you both feeling?
Feeling good?
403
00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:36,400
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
404
00:20:38,520 --> 00:20:39,710
Now, I know you had
405
00:20:39,720 --> 00:20:42,310
the values ranking experience
this week. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
406
00:20:42,320 --> 00:20:45,150
So why don't you help us understand
what happened there?
407
00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:48,150
Er... Should I go first or...?
Yeah, go for it.
408
00:20:48,160 --> 00:20:50,070
Obviously,
the values was quite different.
409
00:20:50,080 --> 00:20:53,230
So for me, I put children first,
410
00:20:53,240 --> 00:20:56,670
and then I put sex eight,
and then I put looks nine.
411
00:20:56,680 --> 00:21:00,430
So we did differ
in those three categories.
412
00:21:00,440 --> 00:21:02,070
The children part made sense for us
413
00:21:02,080 --> 00:21:03,870
in terms of Divarni, your kid
is everything.
414
00:21:03,880 --> 00:21:06,550
Of course that made more sense.
But I think the bulk of it,
415
00:21:06,560 --> 00:21:08,110
which was concerning or a challenge
for us,
416
00:21:08,120 --> 00:21:12,590
was that you were saying work,
occupation,
417
00:21:12,600 --> 00:21:14,590
money was something
418
00:21:14,600 --> 00:21:18,200
you valued way more
than like sex and looks.
419
00:21:19,240 --> 00:21:22,150
I just was confused as to why was
that low?
420
00:21:22,160 --> 00:21:25,270
I didn't believe it 100%,
if I'm honest.
421
00:21:25,280 --> 00:21:26,910
What do you say to that, Divarni?
422
00:21:26,920 --> 00:21:28,790
When I went into this
challenge 100%,
423
00:21:28,800 --> 00:21:33,990
I did it all authentically.
And that's what made sense to me.
424
00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:36,710
Are we saying here that as a couple,
425
00:21:36,720 --> 00:21:41,190
one of you puts a high priority
on attraction
426
00:21:41,200 --> 00:21:43,670
and sex, and the other doesn't?
427
00:21:43,680 --> 00:21:46,960
Or that you just prioritise
them differently?
428
00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:49,830
I think just prioritise
them differently.
429
00:21:49,840 --> 00:21:52,630
Like, what I said
after the challenge,
430
00:21:52,640 --> 00:21:54,110
it was like, it's beautiful
431
00:21:54,120 --> 00:21:56,390
that we didn't match
in any of the categories.
432
00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:58,110
So even if sex was low,
it doesn't mean
433
00:21:58,120 --> 00:22:00,550
that I don't prioritise that. Do you
know what I mean?
434
00:22:00,560 --> 00:22:02,910
I just feel like it's just something
that's just going
435
00:22:02,920 --> 00:22:04,350
to be a day by day situation.
436
00:22:04,360 --> 00:22:07,190
But I don't think that the values
that was obviously presented
437
00:22:07,200 --> 00:22:09,560
was going to be a deal breaker,
and I don't think it will be.
438
00:22:12,040 --> 00:22:16,270
So these activities are really
a great starting point
439
00:22:16,280 --> 00:22:18,350
for some really good
conversation about
440
00:22:18,360 --> 00:22:20,190
what are our priorities in life,
441
00:22:20,200 --> 00:22:22,950
and where are the similarities
and where are the differences.
442
00:22:22,960 --> 00:22:26,230
And I guess it's how you now bring
that into your relationship.
443
00:22:26,240 --> 00:22:27,670
I feel like we've asked each
other questions
444
00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:30,750
and challenge each other on
where we've sat things.
445
00:22:30,760 --> 00:22:33,710
I feel like we've been trying
our best in terms of that. Yeah.
446
00:22:33,720 --> 00:22:36,510
So aside from the challenges
around differing values,
447
00:22:36,520 --> 00:22:39,430
we also saw at the dinner party
last night some conflict
448
00:22:39,440 --> 00:22:42,750
that you had with Steven,
and your sense
449
00:22:42,760 --> 00:22:45,520
that Divarni wasn't really there
having you back.
450
00:22:47,920 --> 00:22:50,070
I mean, she's a tough cookie,
451
00:22:50,080 --> 00:22:52,750
and I'll, like, always fight my own
battles and that.
452
00:22:52,760 --> 00:22:56,270
But I think if I'm saying Divarni,
and I'm calling your name,
453
00:22:56,280 --> 00:22:59,230
and then you don't step up
and you just sit in quietly.
454
00:22:59,240 --> 00:23:00,550
It was a bit disappointing to not
455
00:23:00,560 --> 00:23:04,510
have your support there
because you were there, but nothing.
456
00:23:04,520 --> 00:23:08,110
And I just got left to hang out
dry by myself.
457
00:23:08,120 --> 00:23:10,110
Yeah. Yeah.
458
00:23:10,120 --> 00:23:11,870
I don't ask for help,
459
00:23:11,880 --> 00:23:13,790
and I just felt like
I was calling for my husband,
460
00:23:13,800 --> 00:23:15,040
and you didn't say anything.
461
00:23:16,640 --> 00:23:18,590
And I felt really exposed
and vulnerable.
462
00:23:18,600 --> 00:23:21,390
Just kind of let it down.
So what stopped you,
463
00:23:21,400 --> 00:23:23,910
Divarni, from supporting her
in that moment?
464
00:23:23,920 --> 00:23:26,950
I think I just felt
like didn't want to fuel the fire.
465
00:23:26,960 --> 00:23:30,750
Um, but generally I do stand up.
466
00:23:30,760 --> 00:23:34,440
But you didn't. No.
And it's had an impact on your wife.
467
00:23:37,560 --> 00:23:40,430
If you had your time over,
what would you do differently?
468
00:23:40,440 --> 00:23:42,150
Definitely stand up.
469
00:23:42,160 --> 00:23:43,230
And then I'll comfort her
470
00:23:43,240 --> 00:23:45,950
to obviously know
that I've got her back.
471
00:23:45,960 --> 00:23:48,350
Yeah. So just some
sort of acknowledgement,
472
00:23:48,360 --> 00:23:51,830
or get up and come to me
or just something.
473
00:23:51,840 --> 00:23:53,230
Mm.
474
00:23:53,240 --> 00:23:55,270
It's not about getting involved
in conflict.
475
00:23:55,280 --> 00:23:58,230
It's about giving
your wife your support.
476
00:23:58,240 --> 00:24:01,390
There are clearly some issues
for the two of you around values.
477
00:24:01,400 --> 00:24:03,950
There was a sense that perhaps
you weren't quite getting to
478
00:24:03,960 --> 00:24:06,310
that point of reading each other
and listening,
479
00:24:06,320 --> 00:24:09,590
and maybe understanding
what each other was needing.
480
00:24:09,600 --> 00:24:11,110
Whether that's the importance of sex
481
00:24:11,120 --> 00:24:14,680
or support in an argument, it's
about talking and communication.
482
00:24:16,480 --> 00:24:18,270
We're going to go to a decision.
483
00:24:18,280 --> 00:24:20,110
Divarni, we'll start with you today.
484
00:24:20,120 --> 00:24:23,270
OK. Obviously, we had a little
hiccup yesterday.
485
00:24:23,280 --> 00:24:25,240
Every relationship
has to go through conflict.
486
00:24:26,680 --> 00:24:29,230
Um, I'm not ready to throw
in the towel yet.
487
00:24:29,240 --> 00:24:30,630
I'm very excited to build
488
00:24:30,640 --> 00:24:33,430
that emotional connection,
and I know that we will get there.
489
00:24:33,440 --> 00:24:36,800
And so my final decision is to stay.
490
00:24:41,720 --> 00:24:43,560
Julia-Ruth? Um...
491
00:24:44,600 --> 00:24:48,030
I feel like the values task shed
a lot of light on our relationship,
492
00:24:48,040 --> 00:24:51,710
and I just want to keep having
some of those tougher conversations.
493
00:24:51,720 --> 00:24:53,880
Hopefully, there's no more conflict
in future.
494
00:24:55,560 --> 00:24:57,720
So, yes, I stay.
495
00:25:03,200 --> 00:25:06,510
Lovely. Thank you, guys.
I hope you have a great week.
496
00:25:06,520 --> 00:25:08,880
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you.
497
00:25:16,320 --> 00:25:18,160
Next up on the couch...
498
00:25:19,680 --> 00:25:20,920
...Sarah and Dean.
499
00:25:23,920 --> 00:25:25,910
INDISTINCT
500
00:25:25,920 --> 00:25:29,950
Hello. Hi. Hello. Good to see the
two of you. And you guys.
501
00:25:29,960 --> 00:25:33,350
You, too, as well.
So, guys, how has your week been?
502
00:25:33,360 --> 00:25:35,830
I mean,
the intimacy workshop with yourself.
503
00:25:35,840 --> 00:25:38,750
We went in with an open mind
because that was one of the things
504
00:25:38,760 --> 00:25:42,070
that we have been struggling with is
the intimacy side.
505
00:25:42,080 --> 00:25:46,070
But I have to say, since then we are
still taking baby steps... Yeah.
506
00:25:46,080 --> 00:25:49,350
...but we've been, like, holding
hands... Like, cuddling...
507
00:25:49,360 --> 00:25:51,390
Cuddling, just taking it slow.
508
00:25:51,400 --> 00:25:53,310
I think there's a big pressure build
up because we had done nothing.
509
00:25:53,320 --> 00:25:55,070
So, you know, it's kind of good to
have that workshop
510
00:25:55,080 --> 00:25:56,510
because that just popped that
bubble.
511
00:25:56,520 --> 00:25:58,190
We're like, "Oh, it is OK.
Like, it's my wife.
512
00:25:58,200 --> 00:25:59,950
"Of course I can like, touch her
if I want to." You know?
513
00:25:59,960 --> 00:26:02,710
It's kind of nice to kind
of get that.
514
00:26:02,720 --> 00:26:04,950
We did have a bump in the road.
We had an argument.
515
00:26:04,960 --> 00:26:06,630
Yeah, our first argument.
516
00:26:06,640 --> 00:26:08,270
What are we referring to?
517
00:26:08,280 --> 00:26:14,270
Um, we all went for drinks, kind
of come back to our apartments.
518
00:26:14,280 --> 00:26:16,350
There was a producer there as well.
519
00:26:16,360 --> 00:26:18,430
And then there was like a comment
made.
520
00:26:18,440 --> 00:26:20,590
Yeah, it was a silly comment
that I made.
521
00:26:20,600 --> 00:26:22,270
And he isn't into women, so it's not
522
00:26:22,280 --> 00:26:25,390
as if it was anything...
Do you know, it was silly. And...
523
00:26:25,400 --> 00:26:28,550
What was the comment, Sarah? That
I found him attractive, basically.
524
00:26:28,560 --> 00:26:31,310
That you found
the producer attractive? Yeah. OK.
525
00:26:31,320 --> 00:26:33,630
And was that said
in the presence of Dean?
526
00:26:33,640 --> 00:26:35,470
Yeah, yeah. It was just a comment
that I made.
527
00:26:35,480 --> 00:26:38,270
It was kind of just banter.
...yeah. OK.
528
00:26:38,280 --> 00:26:42,670
And then we'd gone upstairs and
Dean had sort of said, you know...
529
00:26:42,680 --> 00:26:44,990
Yeah, you weren't happy.
And I get it.
530
00:26:45,000 --> 00:26:46,790
When I heard her say that,
I was like,
531
00:26:46,800 --> 00:26:48,870
"Damn, is she ever gonna say
that about me?"
532
00:26:48,880 --> 00:26:50,950
And it kind of just triggered
something in me. Oh. Yeah.
533
00:26:50,960 --> 00:26:53,070
I was like, I don't think I can do
this because I don't know
534
00:26:53,080 --> 00:26:54,720
if you're ever going to feel
that way.
535
00:26:56,480 --> 00:26:58,750
It's like, "Jesus, like,
what am I doing here?
536
00:26:58,760 --> 00:27:02,040
"Like, I just want to hear that said
to me, you know, from my wife."
537
00:27:03,680 --> 00:27:05,960
It has made us stronger, though.
Do you not think?
538
00:27:08,160 --> 00:27:10,560
It kind of has,
because it was our first argument.
539
00:27:12,120 --> 00:27:17,110
I think, Dean, what you have to be
careful of is to not take the blame
540
00:27:17,120 --> 00:27:18,910
for something
that someone else has done.
541
00:27:18,920 --> 00:27:21,070
Yeah, yeah. No, definitely.
I've said that.
542
00:27:21,080 --> 00:27:24,270
Don't forget or diminish your
feelings in all this.
543
00:27:24,280 --> 00:27:26,310
It's OK to feel hurt
and express that.
544
00:27:26,320 --> 00:27:28,670
Just say. Tell me. Say.
545
00:27:28,680 --> 00:27:30,270
Don't pretend
that you're OK all the time.
546
00:27:30,280 --> 00:27:33,030
I'd rather you said.
Do you know what I mean? Yeah.
547
00:27:33,040 --> 00:27:34,550
I think what we'd all rather hear,
548
00:27:34,560 --> 00:27:37,710
Sarah, to be totally honest, is that
you stop doing it.
549
00:27:37,720 --> 00:27:40,430
Yeah, I will. Yeah, absolutely. OK.
550
00:27:40,440 --> 00:27:42,310
You know,
you've said something disrespectful.
551
00:27:42,320 --> 00:27:43,390
You've apologised.
552
00:27:43,400 --> 00:27:46,070
You've said something disrespectful,
you've apologised.
553
00:27:46,080 --> 00:27:50,030
It's time to actually take
responsibility. Yeah. 100%.
554
00:27:50,040 --> 00:27:52,790
Yeah. And to not just say you've got
555
00:27:52,800 --> 00:27:54,110
the hots for some guy.
556
00:27:54,120 --> 00:27:56,150
You know, that's very immature,
557
00:27:56,160 --> 00:27:58,510
sort of 15-year-old behaviour.
558
00:27:58,520 --> 00:28:01,710
You're an adult, and you're
in a serious relationship here.
559
00:28:01,720 --> 00:28:03,280
There's a lot at stake.
560
00:28:18,840 --> 00:28:21,670
It's time to actually take
responsibility. Yeah. 100%.
561
00:28:21,680 --> 00:28:24,190
Yeah. And to not just say you've got
562
00:28:24,200 --> 00:28:27,550
the hots for some guy.
You know, that's very immature,
563
00:28:27,560 --> 00:28:29,910
sort of 15-year-old behaviour.
564
00:28:29,920 --> 00:28:33,110
You're an adult, and you're
in a serious relationship here.
565
00:28:33,120 --> 00:28:34,400
There's a lot at stake.
566
00:28:38,360 --> 00:28:39,390
I completely agree,
567
00:28:39,400 --> 00:28:42,310
and I take full responsibility
and put my hands up.
568
00:28:42,320 --> 00:28:44,670
And I am so sorry, I really am.
569
00:28:44,680 --> 00:28:47,270
I just need to know
why I am behaving like this.
570
00:28:47,280 --> 00:28:52,190
Because before coming here, I was
this ball of sunshine, and I just,
571
00:28:52,200 --> 00:28:54,390
I feel like since I've come here,
I've sort of lost that.
572
00:28:54,400 --> 00:28:55,520
And I don't know why.
573
00:28:56,640 --> 00:28:58,470
Because I'm not a disrespectful
person,
574
00:28:58,480 --> 00:29:00,430
and I don't like the way
that I'm behaving.
575
00:29:00,440 --> 00:29:04,990
I don't. What we're saying is just
be a bit more mindful.
576
00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:08,230
You know, you are in a
relationship... I know. And I wonder
577
00:29:08,240 --> 00:29:11,110
if part of the reason you're able
578
00:29:11,120 --> 00:29:14,750
to say some of these things is maybe
because you're not putting
579
00:29:14,760 --> 00:29:16,110
those boundaries in place
580
00:29:16,120 --> 00:29:18,870
to say this isn't acceptable
behaviour.
581
00:29:18,880 --> 00:29:22,790
It's about for you, Dean, to say,
"These are my boundaries.
582
00:29:22,800 --> 00:29:25,070
"I will not tolerate this."
And for you,
583
00:29:25,080 --> 00:29:28,830
Sarah, to actually do it.
Yeah. He needs to see that.
584
00:29:28,840 --> 00:29:29,920
Yeah.
585
00:29:31,480 --> 00:29:33,920
Let's go to the decisions. Dean?
586
00:29:35,240 --> 00:29:38,270
We have improved.
But then I did have that fear of
587
00:29:38,280 --> 00:29:40,430
if we're going nowhere,
why would I stay?
588
00:29:40,440 --> 00:29:41,550
Mm.
589
00:29:41,560 --> 00:29:43,710
Am I going to leave?
Am I going to run?
590
00:29:43,720 --> 00:29:46,870
I'm here to find out about me
as well as find out about us,
591
00:29:46,880 --> 00:29:48,390
so I think I owe it to myself,
592
00:29:48,400 --> 00:29:51,150
as well as us as a couple, to keep
pushing forward.
593
00:29:51,160 --> 00:29:53,800
So I've decided to stay.
594
00:29:58,680 --> 00:30:01,950
Thank you. And, Sarah,
what's your decision?
595
00:30:01,960 --> 00:30:03,950
Yeah,
I think the absolute world of you.
596
00:30:03,960 --> 00:30:05,390
I think you're an absolute gem.
597
00:30:05,400 --> 00:30:09,150
I apologise again for my actions
and behaviour.
598
00:30:09,160 --> 00:30:10,710
I am learning so much about myself.
599
00:30:10,720 --> 00:30:13,670
This obviously is a really
intense process.
600
00:30:13,680 --> 00:30:16,550
And I'm gonna
give this week my everything,
601
00:30:16,560 --> 00:30:19,550
and I want to continue
to see how it goes.
602
00:30:19,560 --> 00:30:22,160
And so I am also going to stay.
603
00:30:25,640 --> 00:30:27,590
What I'd really
like you guys to take from this.
604
00:30:27,600 --> 00:30:28,750
Sarah, I think just be a bit
605
00:30:28,760 --> 00:30:31,590
more mindful... Yeah, of course.
...about what you're saying.
606
00:30:31,600 --> 00:30:34,430
And, Dean, it's OK to say,
"This is how I want you to treat me,
607
00:30:34,440 --> 00:30:36,310
"and this is not acceptable."
608
00:30:36,320 --> 00:30:38,950
And I think it's important
for you to kind of practise that.
609
00:30:38,960 --> 00:30:40,470
I know it's something I need
to work on.
610
00:30:40,480 --> 00:30:43,230
Yeah. Thanks, guys.
Thank you, guys. Cheers.
611
00:30:43,240 --> 00:30:45,280
Cheers. Thank you. Thank you.
612
00:30:52,560 --> 00:30:56,360
Next up, Keye and Davide.
613
00:30:59,880 --> 00:31:04,480
So nervous, aren't you? Wow!
You're even walking in unison.
614
00:31:05,600 --> 00:31:07,950
This is a good sign, right?
Yeah, definitely.
615
00:31:07,960 --> 00:31:10,670
Fabulous. We're really good.
Yeah. So tell me,
616
00:31:10,680 --> 00:31:12,670
how was Expert Week for you?
617
00:31:12,680 --> 00:31:14,510
You had the challenge
of ask me anything.
618
00:31:14,520 --> 00:31:16,470
It was good.
I think it was questions
619
00:31:16,480 --> 00:31:18,710
that we don't
ask each other every day.
620
00:31:18,720 --> 00:31:20,510
I think the things he said,
they were very positive,
621
00:31:20,520 --> 00:31:21,590
because there were things
622
00:31:21,600 --> 00:31:24,030
that I would
like to change about myself as well.
623
00:31:24,040 --> 00:31:25,160
What are some of those things?
624
00:31:26,600 --> 00:31:29,270
How much you get in your head? Yep.
Um...
625
00:31:29,280 --> 00:31:31,350
Your confidence on your
own appearance.
626
00:31:31,360 --> 00:31:33,830
Like, if you could
see yourself through my eyes.
627
00:31:33,840 --> 00:31:34,920
Yeah.
628
00:31:35,960 --> 00:31:38,160
Cos I don't see myself
as other people see me.
629
00:31:39,280 --> 00:31:43,310
I still see myself as the person
that was,
630
00:31:43,320 --> 00:31:47,550
um,
disregarded or wasn't good enough.
631
00:31:47,560 --> 00:31:52,870
But he makes me feel good
and wanted and enough.
632
00:31:52,880 --> 00:31:55,950
He does that for me very well.
One thing that I see the two
633
00:31:55,960 --> 00:31:58,590
of you do
amazingly is hold eye contact.
634
00:31:58,600 --> 00:32:01,350
Yeah, because it's my anchor.
And I always tell him, if you feel
635
00:32:01,360 --> 00:32:03,710
like you're losing yourself,
find me. And we do that.
636
00:32:03,720 --> 00:32:06,040
We find each other. Beautiful.
637
00:32:07,400 --> 00:32:09,230
I feel like I know the answer
to this already.
638
00:32:09,240 --> 00:32:12,070
But how has intimacy progressed
in your relationship?
639
00:32:12,080 --> 00:32:13,710
I don't know
what you're talking about.
640
00:32:13,720 --> 00:32:15,470
I'm a virgin.
We don't touch one another.
641
00:32:15,480 --> 00:32:17,870
No, we're not for it. No.
642
00:32:17,880 --> 00:32:22,200
Lights out. Dark, with a blindfold.
643
00:32:26,440 --> 00:32:28,670
I am loving this bond.
644
00:32:28,680 --> 00:32:32,350
And I think this is the right time
to go to the decisions.
645
00:32:32,360 --> 00:32:34,800
Sure. Keye first. So...
646
00:32:35,960 --> 00:32:38,510
Oh, every single day
with this man is an absolute joy.
647
00:32:38,520 --> 00:32:42,710
I honestly feel
like I've known him my whole life.
648
00:32:42,720 --> 00:32:43,870
It's insane. Like, it's hard
649
00:32:43,880 --> 00:32:45,750
to put into words how
I actually feel about you
650
00:32:45,760 --> 00:32:50,190
because I've just... I've never felt
like this about anyone.
651
00:32:50,200 --> 00:32:52,230
So just thank you for being you.
652
00:32:52,240 --> 00:32:56,240
And because of that,
my decision is to stay.
653
00:33:05,280 --> 00:33:07,510
Davide? Um...
654
00:33:07,520 --> 00:33:11,590
I haven't felt this safe with
anyone.
655
00:33:11,600 --> 00:33:13,310
I have no fears with you.
656
00:33:13,320 --> 00:33:15,840
Anything is just easy, even standing
in front of you three.
657
00:33:17,160 --> 00:33:19,350
And I just want to keep growing.
658
00:33:19,360 --> 00:33:24,320
And as long as you want me,
I will choose to stay.
659
00:33:29,560 --> 00:33:30,840
Sorry.
660
00:33:33,520 --> 00:33:35,590
Fantastic. All the best
for the rest of the week.
661
00:33:35,600 --> 00:33:37,720
Good luck, guys. Well done, you two.
662
00:33:48,400 --> 00:33:49,440
Next up...
663
00:33:51,080 --> 00:33:52,240
...Grace and Ashley.
664
00:33:54,600 --> 00:33:57,880
Yes. Hello, there. Hiya.
Lovely to see you all.
665
00:34:01,640 --> 00:34:06,310
Right away, the first thing
that I see is Ashley.
666
00:34:06,320 --> 00:34:08,360
Where is your right hand right now?
667
00:34:09,920 --> 00:34:12,190
I'm not touching.
Not touching. But he does,
668
00:34:12,200 --> 00:34:13,270
and it's... We're good.
669
00:34:13,280 --> 00:34:15,270
We're like, yeah,
we're warming up.
670
00:34:15,280 --> 00:34:18,590
Sometimes. We're good. "Sometimes."
It's not really changed.
671
00:34:18,600 --> 00:34:22,110
So you're saying there's been no
improvement with physical intimacy?
672
00:34:22,120 --> 00:34:25,390
It's just still
that judgment of can I can't I?
673
00:34:25,400 --> 00:34:28,350
There's still that doubt.
There's no set of rules.
674
00:34:28,360 --> 00:34:31,990
So it's extremely hard for me
to kind of navigate
675
00:34:32,000 --> 00:34:34,590
as to when it is OK
or when it isn't OK.
676
00:34:34,600 --> 00:34:37,870
I feel differently,
I feel like you just do it,
677
00:34:37,880 --> 00:34:38,950
and if I'm not feeling it,
678
00:34:38,960 --> 00:34:41,510
I just say. That's my interpretation
of how it is.
679
00:34:41,520 --> 00:34:43,310
But then we are
having intimate moments.
680
00:34:43,320 --> 00:34:46,470
I can go from that
to then not being able to touch you.
681
00:34:46,480 --> 00:34:49,080
And it's... it's confusing.
682
00:34:51,160 --> 00:34:55,030
I would love to keep it completely
private in the house.
683
00:34:55,040 --> 00:34:57,550
Lock the doors.
Seal it up between us.
684
00:34:57,560 --> 00:35:00,630
But we have hit issues.
685
00:35:00,640 --> 00:35:03,470
An issue this week that I know
686
00:35:03,480 --> 00:35:04,950
we're not going to navigate
just between us,
687
00:35:04,960 --> 00:35:07,150
I know
that we're going to need help with,
688
00:35:07,160 --> 00:35:09,750
so we are going to have to speak
about intimacy.
689
00:35:09,760 --> 00:35:12,350
I didn't want it being displayed
and picked over and,
690
00:35:12,360 --> 00:35:15,310
you know, bits of it being gossiped
about here, there and everywhere.
691
00:35:15,320 --> 00:35:19,990
But, yeah, we... Yeah, we do need
to speak about it.
692
00:35:20,000 --> 00:35:21,790
You tell the story
because obviously you feel
693
00:35:21,800 --> 00:35:22,870
a bit more thing about it.
694
00:35:22,880 --> 00:35:24,350
You tell the story of
what you want to do,
695
00:35:24,360 --> 00:35:26,110
and then if there's anything
that I want to add to the end,
696
00:35:26,120 --> 00:35:28,110
I can add to show sort of my side of
it.
697
00:35:28,120 --> 00:35:29,440
OK.
698
00:35:30,480 --> 00:35:34,950
So earlier in the week,
Ash is super generous.
699
00:35:34,960 --> 00:35:36,470
We go for a lovely date.
700
00:35:36,480 --> 00:35:38,520
Ash picks up the bill.
It's so lovely.
701
00:35:40,040 --> 00:35:42,510
Somewhere between him
being really generous,
702
00:35:42,520 --> 00:35:45,510
picking up the bill,
and walking home,
703
00:35:45,520 --> 00:35:48,070
I developed this anxiety that I have
704
00:35:48,080 --> 00:35:50,430
to keep Ash sweet
by being affectionate.
705
00:35:50,440 --> 00:35:52,230
Grace, help us understand this.
706
00:35:52,240 --> 00:35:56,950
Can we just clarify the anxiety of
what is the expectation?
707
00:35:56,960 --> 00:35:58,990
This means
that I have to give you sex.
708
00:35:59,000 --> 00:36:00,910
Yeah.
709
00:36:00,920 --> 00:36:04,830
I just develop this anxiety.
We then did another date.
710
00:36:04,840 --> 00:36:07,470
We saw a show.
We had the most amazing dinner.
711
00:36:07,480 --> 00:36:08,830
It was such a good night.
712
00:36:08,840 --> 00:36:12,070
Ash very generously picks
up the tab again.
713
00:36:12,080 --> 00:36:13,160
This is just so hard.
714
00:36:14,240 --> 00:36:16,070
I don't want to do this.
You've got to.
715
00:36:16,080 --> 00:36:18,360
You're not going to move forward
otherwise. OK.
716
00:36:19,920 --> 00:36:24,160
We had spoken about, like,
a contraceptive...
717
00:36:26,040 --> 00:36:28,120
...that we might consider using
at some point.
718
00:36:30,680 --> 00:36:33,830
I said maybe we should look
if they have it.
719
00:36:33,840 --> 00:36:35,120
We bought a contraceptive.
720
00:36:36,640 --> 00:36:37,680
We walked back.
721
00:36:39,000 --> 00:36:41,510
I go to bed.
722
00:36:41,520 --> 00:36:43,760
Ash. What about me?
723
00:36:45,240 --> 00:36:47,560
After the day we've had,
you should want to.
724
00:36:49,960 --> 00:36:52,230
But that anxiety about the grand
gesture and the sort of
725
00:36:52,240 --> 00:36:55,960
transactional nature
kind of played true.
726
00:36:58,200 --> 00:36:59,800
Can I say something? Yeah.
727
00:37:01,280 --> 00:37:02,910
We went on this really nice meal,
went to this show.
728
00:37:02,920 --> 00:37:04,550
I wasn't thinking about sex
or anything.
729
00:37:04,560 --> 00:37:07,230
I'm just... I didn't do
that to have sex with Grace.
730
00:37:07,240 --> 00:37:09,760
I'd done it because it
was something nice to do for her.
731
00:37:10,920 --> 00:37:14,550
You took me to get contraceptive.
I thought the date had gone well,
732
00:37:14,560 --> 00:37:15,910
so I'm annoyed at myself
733
00:37:15,920 --> 00:37:18,920
for getting frustrated,
but I couldn't help it.
734
00:37:20,760 --> 00:37:24,310
Thank you for your vulnerability
in sharing that, Grace.
735
00:37:24,320 --> 00:37:26,270
And also you, Ashley.
736
00:37:26,280 --> 00:37:32,430
So I want to take this notion
of feeling obligated, Grace.
737
00:37:32,440 --> 00:37:36,790
What about your experience
makes you feel
738
00:37:36,800 --> 00:37:41,830
as if a gesture means you having
to cross a boundary of yours?
739
00:37:41,840 --> 00:37:44,710
I don't know. I....I'm just
cautious.
740
00:37:44,720 --> 00:37:45,910
Like, am I always going to be
741
00:37:45,920 --> 00:37:47,630
beholden to being affectionate
to you?
742
00:37:47,640 --> 00:37:49,750
Will it always depend
on my affection?
743
00:37:49,760 --> 00:37:51,720
Will your mood always depend
on that.
744
00:37:52,920 --> 00:37:54,750
I constantly feel like
you're looking
745
00:37:54,760 --> 00:37:56,150
for that bad thing in me.
746
00:37:56,160 --> 00:37:58,950
It's like we went out to get a pizza
and we were really flirty
747
00:37:58,960 --> 00:38:00,630
and touchy and holding hands,
748
00:38:00,640 --> 00:38:02,510
cuddling, like, little pecks,
things like that.
749
00:38:02,520 --> 00:38:05,230
We went back to the apartment,
put the pizza in,
750
00:38:05,240 --> 00:38:07,790
and then I picked Grace up and put
her on the counter
751
00:38:07,800 --> 00:38:08,950
while I was doing the pizza.
752
00:38:08,960 --> 00:38:10,550
And I was
kind of between Grace's legs
753
00:38:10,560 --> 00:38:12,590
and she was rubbing her nose
in my face.
754
00:38:12,600 --> 00:38:14,990
Sorry. Can you stop?
You're actually embarrassing me now.
755
00:38:15,000 --> 00:38:16,990
This is embarrassing.
Where is this going?
756
00:38:17,000 --> 00:38:18,670
But she was, like, rubbing her nose
in my face
757
00:38:18,680 --> 00:38:19,710
and it was quite intimate.
758
00:38:19,720 --> 00:38:22,110
And then I went for a kiss and she
went, "No, no, I'm not doing it."
759
00:38:22,120 --> 00:38:23,430
So it was like,
760
00:38:23,440 --> 00:38:26,030
for what felt
like an intimate moment for me,
761
00:38:26,040 --> 00:38:28,150
was then not right for Grace,
762
00:38:28,160 --> 00:38:30,670
which I understand
and I'm being respectful of.
763
00:38:30,680 --> 00:38:31,750
But I've done a grand gesture,
764
00:38:31,760 --> 00:38:33,590
and you said it makes
you feel uncomfortable,
765
00:38:33,600 --> 00:38:36,110
can't do physical touch because
that makes you feel uncomfortable.
766
00:38:36,120 --> 00:38:38,350
You keep saying,
I can't do physical touch.
767
00:38:38,360 --> 00:38:41,830
You do do physical touch.
There is so much physical touch.
768
00:38:41,840 --> 00:38:43,470
And it's insulting when you say,
I can't do it.
769
00:38:43,480 --> 00:38:44,910
I never get to do it.
It's just so confusing.
770
00:38:44,920 --> 00:38:47,760
I'm not saying that, Grace. You're
putting words in my mouth.
771
00:38:49,400 --> 00:38:50,480
Did anyone else hear it?
772
00:38:51,680 --> 00:38:53,040
I'm hearing it all the time.
773
00:39:05,960 --> 00:39:07,790
You keep saying I can't
do physical touch.
774
00:39:07,800 --> 00:39:11,310
You do do physical touch.
There is so much physical touch.
775
00:39:11,320 --> 00:39:12,950
And it's insulting when you say,
I can't do it.
776
00:39:12,960 --> 00:39:14,950
I never get to do it.
It's just so confusing.
777
00:39:14,960 --> 00:39:17,000
I'm not saying that, Grace. You're
putting words in my mouth.
778
00:39:18,840 --> 00:39:19,920
Did anyone else hear it?
779
00:39:21,200 --> 00:39:22,600
I'm hearing it all the time.
780
00:39:25,720 --> 00:39:28,710
I'm not saying all the time.
I can't really do much more to prove
781
00:39:28,720 --> 00:39:31,350
to you I'm not
the person you're trying to find.
782
00:39:31,360 --> 00:39:34,590
Sometimes I feel like
what Ash brings to the group is not
783
00:39:34,600 --> 00:39:36,310
a reflection
of what's really happening.
784
00:39:36,320 --> 00:39:38,350
It's like an edited version.
785
00:39:38,360 --> 00:39:42,150
With the nails thing, like...
I wouldn't have reacted
786
00:39:42,160 --> 00:39:43,630
if Ash had said it
in a particular way,
787
00:39:43,640 --> 00:39:45,110
but in the retelling of it,
788
00:39:45,120 --> 00:39:48,710
it's always more favourable to Ash,
in my opinion.
789
00:39:48,720 --> 00:39:50,920
Can you clarify the nail thing?
I'd love to.
790
00:39:52,480 --> 00:39:55,550
There was a comment about something
I was wearing.
791
00:39:55,560 --> 00:39:57,590
You look nice. But have you got
a dress you can put on?
792
00:39:57,600 --> 00:39:58,750
Or put on a dress for me?
793
00:39:58,760 --> 00:40:00,830
And I was like, let that go.
Like that's...
794
00:40:00,840 --> 00:40:03,230
Can I...? Can I say
what that was from my side?
795
00:40:03,240 --> 00:40:04,590
Well...
796
00:40:04,600 --> 00:40:06,630
Yeah. Do you mind if I finish?
Sorry.
797
00:40:06,640 --> 00:40:10,630
Yeah. Of course.
Then the nails. We're in bed.
798
00:40:10,640 --> 00:40:12,270
He sees that my nails are overgrown.
799
00:40:12,280 --> 00:40:13,630
He's like,
800
00:40:13,640 --> 00:40:16,750
"I like these done, like,
keep these up."
801
00:40:16,760 --> 00:40:19,670
So I just said,
no-one tells me how to dress,
802
00:40:19,680 --> 00:40:23,030
how to look, how to be. Like,
I'll do that.
803
00:40:23,040 --> 00:40:25,630
A couple of days later,
the same comment.
804
00:40:25,640 --> 00:40:26,990
Haven't you got a dress
you can wear?
805
00:40:27,000 --> 00:40:28,590
There was only the one comment with
the dress.
806
00:40:28,600 --> 00:40:33,430
It was... It was... It was... It
was... OK. It comes up again.
807
00:40:33,440 --> 00:40:35,190
And because we'd already had
a conversation,
808
00:40:35,200 --> 00:40:37,200
I thought we'd settled it
with something else.
809
00:40:38,240 --> 00:40:41,230
I said, not this again. He was like,
but don't you want to wear a dress?
810
00:40:41,240 --> 00:40:43,350
Like, don't you want...? Like, isn't
it...?
811
00:40:43,360 --> 00:40:44,550
What? Wouldn't you want to do it
for me?
812
00:40:44,560 --> 00:40:46,590
I don't understand.
I've never said that.
813
00:40:46,600 --> 00:40:48,310
So you're saying about me making up,
814
00:40:48,320 --> 00:40:50,910
wouldn't you want to wear a dress
for me? I would never say that.
815
00:40:50,920 --> 00:40:52,590
But I thought
that was part of the conversation.
816
00:40:52,600 --> 00:40:54,230
Like, why don't...?
Why does it bother you?
817
00:40:54,240 --> 00:40:56,550
So I booked the date and I knew
where we were going.
818
00:40:56,560 --> 00:40:58,110
I knew we were going to a fancy
restaurant.
819
00:40:58,120 --> 00:40:59,950
It was a surprise for Grace.
820
00:40:59,960 --> 00:41:01,990
She put an outfit on and I said,
you look amazing,
821
00:41:02,000 --> 00:41:04,630
but I know, like,
have you got a dress to put on?
822
00:41:04,640 --> 00:41:06,910
Because I know where we're going.
That was what it was.
823
00:41:06,920 --> 00:41:09,710
I'm not telling you what to wear.
And the nails thing,
824
00:41:09,720 --> 00:41:12,670
I meant, like, do you want
to get your nails done as a treat?
825
00:41:12,680 --> 00:41:16,270
I'm not telling you what to do.
I'm trying really...
826
00:41:16,280 --> 00:41:19,270
OK. You're trying.
And I give you an A for trying,
827
00:41:19,280 --> 00:41:22,070
but I'm going to give you a C
for execution. Mm-hm.
828
00:41:22,080 --> 00:41:27,630
OK. So now you know it wasn't
received well. 100%.
829
00:41:27,640 --> 00:41:29,910
But you know
what your intention was. Yeah.
830
00:41:29,920 --> 00:41:31,710
So what we're talking
about right now is
831
00:41:31,720 --> 00:41:34,630
the difference between impact
and intention.
832
00:41:34,640 --> 00:41:35,990
So my question is
833
00:41:36,000 --> 00:41:39,960
how can you rephrase that to include
your intent?
834
00:41:42,280 --> 00:41:43,710
I'm not really sure
to be honest, Paul.
835
00:41:43,720 --> 00:41:45,350
Like, thinking about it on
the spot now.
836
00:41:45,360 --> 00:41:47,990
So you start it off for me.
I would like to...
837
00:41:48,000 --> 00:41:49,830
Um,
treat you to get your nails done.
838
00:41:49,840 --> 00:41:53,470
To show that I... Care about you.
839
00:41:53,480 --> 00:41:56,390
Reframing as a question,
840
00:41:56,400 --> 00:42:00,590
but also ensuring
that you outline your intent.
841
00:42:00,600 --> 00:42:02,190
I think this is incredibly
important,
842
00:42:02,200 --> 00:42:04,110
because what I hear you saying,
Grace,
843
00:42:04,120 --> 00:42:08,590
is that you have this anxiety
around, well, what is the intention?
844
00:42:08,600 --> 00:42:12,270
But instead, if it is, here's what
I'd like to offer,
845
00:42:12,280 --> 00:42:15,030
because I want to show you
how much I care for you.
846
00:42:15,040 --> 00:42:16,400
Is that fair? Mm-hm.
847
00:42:17,680 --> 00:42:19,910
Grace, it's about understanding
848
00:42:19,920 --> 00:42:22,390
what your triggers are,
what makes you feel comfortable.
849
00:42:22,400 --> 00:42:24,790
You know,
having that open communication
850
00:42:24,800 --> 00:42:26,670
and really building that trust.
851
00:42:26,680 --> 00:42:29,750
Like Paul said, there's something
there about intent.
852
00:42:29,760 --> 00:42:36,150
Because, actually, if Grace can hear
that the intention isn't to control
853
00:42:36,160 --> 00:42:40,550
or to want any sex or affection,
but it's just a kind act,
854
00:42:40,560 --> 00:42:43,550
I suspect her response
will be more positive,
855
00:42:43,560 --> 00:42:48,160
but it does require open
communication and patience as well.
856
00:42:49,240 --> 00:42:51,830
Yeah. Right. I will work on it
and I appreciate it.
857
00:42:51,840 --> 00:42:53,230
So then, Ashley, I would ask you,
858
00:42:53,240 --> 00:42:58,110
what do you believe Grace could do
to help you?
859
00:42:58,120 --> 00:42:59,390
I'm not really sure any more
860
00:42:59,400 --> 00:43:04,870
because I'm struggling with the fact
that if this is the way it is,
861
00:43:04,880 --> 00:43:06,590
I can't do this forever.
862
00:43:06,600 --> 00:43:10,390
I'm truly trying my utmost
to make this work,
863
00:43:10,400 --> 00:43:12,800
and I feel like
I'm always hitting this wall.
864
00:43:15,040 --> 00:43:17,070
Here's what I would love you to do.
865
00:43:17,080 --> 00:43:20,630
Ashley, your homework is always
include your intention.
866
00:43:20,640 --> 00:43:24,350
OK. Grace, here's
what I would love for you to do.
867
00:43:24,360 --> 00:43:26,550
Have you ever heard of the
magic ratio?
868
00:43:26,560 --> 00:43:29,150
Hit me with the magic.
The magic ratio.
869
00:43:29,160 --> 00:43:30,910
Every time something happens
870
00:43:30,920 --> 00:43:32,990
in your relationship
where it's challenged,
871
00:43:33,000 --> 00:43:38,470
you want to make sure that there's
at least five positive affirmations.
872
00:43:38,480 --> 00:43:40,830
You don't have to calculate it
five to one, da-da-da.
873
00:43:40,840 --> 00:43:45,350
But just think about how every day
you are continuing to provide
874
00:43:45,360 --> 00:43:49,430
these positive affirmations
to your partner,
875
00:43:49,440 --> 00:43:53,830
because once he receives that,
he'll know "She's in it."
876
00:43:53,840 --> 00:43:54,950
And that's going to give him
877
00:43:54,960 --> 00:43:58,830
the fuel to continue to fight
for the relationship.
878
00:43:58,840 --> 00:44:01,230
Now, you should be doing
the same thing, Ash.
879
00:44:01,240 --> 00:44:04,310
And then you end
up building a stronger relationship.
880
00:44:04,320 --> 00:44:05,400
OK.
881
00:44:06,880 --> 00:44:11,150
Grace, how do you feel right now,
in this moment?
882
00:44:11,160 --> 00:44:12,240
I feel...
883
00:44:13,640 --> 00:44:16,230
I do feel a bit frustrated almost,
884
00:44:16,240 --> 00:44:18,910
because it always comes back to,
like,
885
00:44:18,920 --> 00:44:21,280
like Ashley makes all the effort.
886
00:44:23,240 --> 00:44:26,630
Yeah,
I feel like even coming into this,
887
00:44:26,640 --> 00:44:29,350
Ash was like, I'll let you lead.
888
00:44:29,360 --> 00:44:30,910
Like, I'll let you...
889
00:44:30,920 --> 00:44:34,230
And then I just feel
like Ash just somehow managed
890
00:44:34,240 --> 00:44:36,630
to make it about me being
the problem again.
891
00:44:36,640 --> 00:44:39,750
But I do feel
that there's potential.
892
00:44:39,760 --> 00:44:41,160
When we're good, it is good.
893
00:44:42,240 --> 00:44:44,870
We are moving forward. It's...
It's two steps forward,
894
00:44:44,880 --> 00:44:47,470
one step back. So I think
895
00:44:47,480 --> 00:44:50,950
if we keep going and we keep working
at it, hopefully it'll just connect.
896
00:44:50,960 --> 00:44:54,110
We've got to work at it.
It's just hard.
897
00:44:54,120 --> 00:44:55,440
It is incredibly hard.
898
00:44:57,120 --> 00:45:00,110
And now I'm going to ask you
to do something even harder.
899
00:45:00,120 --> 00:45:02,710
And that is to make a decision.
900
00:45:02,720 --> 00:45:04,150
OK. I thought you were going
to say kiss.
901
00:45:04,160 --> 00:45:05,950
Oh, my God!
902
00:45:05,960 --> 00:45:08,670
Have a kiss! See if it works!
903
00:45:08,680 --> 00:45:11,630
Look at that. Look how you snapped
into that. No, it can be fun.
904
00:45:11,640 --> 00:45:14,950
It definitely can. It can be.
It can be fun.
905
00:45:14,960 --> 00:45:19,070
Yeah.
If we can go with Ashley first.
906
00:45:19,080 --> 00:45:21,590
So, I'm sorry.
907
00:45:21,600 --> 00:45:23,590
And I'm annoyed at myself
for getting frustrated.
908
00:45:23,600 --> 00:45:26,030
I am giving this everything. I have
from the very beginning.
909
00:45:26,040 --> 00:45:27,750
I've said I would. When it's good,
910
00:45:27,760 --> 00:45:30,630
it's absolutely amazing
and I'm really happy.
911
00:45:30,640 --> 00:45:32,950
I genuinely believe
if we can get over this,
912
00:45:32,960 --> 00:45:34,590
we're going to be the strongest
couple,
913
00:45:34,600 --> 00:45:36,390
because I think we're dealing with
so many things
914
00:45:36,400 --> 00:45:38,910
that it'll make us from strength
to strength.
915
00:45:38,920 --> 00:45:40,830
I'm in it as long as you are,
916
00:45:40,840 --> 00:45:42,190
and I'm really willing
to work at it.
917
00:45:42,200 --> 00:45:45,600
So I said to stay.
918
00:45:53,160 --> 00:45:54,360
Grace.
919
00:45:56,040 --> 00:45:57,640
This is really hard.
920
00:45:59,120 --> 00:46:01,880
I'm sorry if it feels like I don't
appreciate you.
921
00:46:03,920 --> 00:46:07,670
I came here for a marriage.
I'm committed.
922
00:46:07,680 --> 00:46:10,040
I really want to make this work.
So...
923
00:46:11,760 --> 00:46:12,960
...stay.
924
00:46:17,200 --> 00:46:19,150
What's that under...? Nail polish.
925
00:46:19,160 --> 00:46:22,550
Of course it's nail polish!
Of course.
926
00:46:22,560 --> 00:46:24,750
All right. Thank you so much
927
00:46:24,760 --> 00:46:26,870
for your honesty
and your vulnerability.
928
00:46:26,880 --> 00:46:29,000
Thank you. Thank you very much.
Thank you.
929
00:46:42,160 --> 00:46:43,440
Next up to the couch...
930
00:46:45,200 --> 00:46:46,920
...Rebecca and Bailey.
931
00:46:49,640 --> 00:46:54,310
Hello. Hello. Hello.
Hello. Lovely to see the two of you.
932
00:46:54,320 --> 00:46:57,950
Lovely to see you, too.
Tell me how your week has been.
933
00:46:57,960 --> 00:47:01,110
Yeah. Another good week for us.
We had our little task,
934
00:47:01,120 --> 00:47:05,910
which was X-Files.
It was nice to open up a bit more.
935
00:47:05,920 --> 00:47:08,590
I think it brought out a vulnerable
side from us both.
936
00:47:08,600 --> 00:47:11,830
I learned a bit about you, and she
does wear her heart on her sleeve.
937
00:47:11,840 --> 00:47:14,750
And she's an emotional girl.
Those are all good qualities.
938
00:47:14,760 --> 00:47:16,910
So I came out
of it in a better place, I think.
939
00:47:16,920 --> 00:47:17,990
Just happier.
940
00:47:18,000 --> 00:47:19,990
Just hearing a bit more of
that deeper side.
941
00:47:20,000 --> 00:47:21,790
Opening up, being comfortable
942
00:47:21,800 --> 00:47:23,270
to talk about anything
and everything
943
00:47:23,280 --> 00:47:25,190
is an important part of
a relationship.
944
00:47:25,200 --> 00:47:28,030
So I would definitely say
that it helped.
945
00:47:28,040 --> 00:47:32,030
Yeah, it felt great to connect
with him on a deeper level.
946
00:47:32,040 --> 00:47:35,110
We did get into have
we broken people's hearts
947
00:47:35,120 --> 00:47:37,390
before and how we feel about
that now.
948
00:47:37,400 --> 00:47:39,470
So I think when you talk on a deeper
level with someone,
949
00:47:39,480 --> 00:47:43,030
and especially when you share
an emotional conversation,
950
00:47:43,040 --> 00:47:44,870
of course it's going
to bring us closer.
951
00:47:44,880 --> 00:47:47,630
There was no conflict around that.
We were just talking on a really
952
00:47:47,640 --> 00:47:51,270
vulnerable level
and came out the other end closer.
953
00:47:51,280 --> 00:47:53,070
Yeah. What I'm seeing here is
954
00:47:53,080 --> 00:47:55,430
that this is a phenomenal
relationship.
955
00:47:55,440 --> 00:47:56,960
There has been no conflict.
956
00:47:59,880 --> 00:48:03,480
There was a scale that you
were given on a scale of one to ten.
957
00:48:04,920 --> 00:48:06,830
No, I don't know
what you're on about.
958
00:48:06,840 --> 00:48:09,910
What's it, Bailey? I don't remember.
It's a scale from one to ten.
959
00:48:09,920 --> 00:48:12,190
Ten being love. Love.
960
00:48:12,200 --> 00:48:15,640
And, Bailey, for you it was a 9.5.
961
00:48:17,080 --> 00:48:18,400
Oh!
962
00:48:19,840 --> 00:48:21,710
I don't know
what the point five is about.
963
00:48:21,720 --> 00:48:24,280
I feel like it's a bit
of me second-guessing myself.
964
00:48:26,480 --> 00:48:28,510
So I probably feel like even
though I liked my answer,
965
00:48:28,520 --> 00:48:31,270
I probably wasn't being true
966
00:48:31,280 --> 00:48:35,790
with myself
because the feeling is there.
967
00:48:35,800 --> 00:48:38,880
And I do love you. I'm a ten!
968
00:48:40,200 --> 00:48:43,190
So, yeah,
it is a ten. And I don't know.
969
00:48:43,200 --> 00:48:47,840
I do love you and I am in love with
you. Yeah. So, yeah, I'm like...
970
00:48:54,920 --> 00:48:56,390
That's so lovely to hear.
971
00:48:56,400 --> 00:48:58,470
And, Rebecca, how was
that for you to hear?
972
00:48:58,480 --> 00:49:01,750
It's so nice. Like, I can't
imagine my life without Bailey.
973
00:49:01,760 --> 00:49:04,990
And I know that he might be more
vocal
974
00:49:05,000 --> 00:49:07,870
when it comes to the love stuff,
975
00:49:07,880 --> 00:49:09,990
and it feels a little bit soon
976
00:49:10,000 --> 00:49:16,270
for me to declare that right now,
but I feel so deeply for him.
977
00:49:16,280 --> 00:49:17,590
Bailey knows how I...
978
00:49:17,600 --> 00:49:20,230
You know how I feel
about you for sure, don't you? 100%.
979
00:49:20,240 --> 00:49:21,910
Yeah. I didn't say to get it back
and, like,
980
00:49:21,920 --> 00:49:23,150
you can go at your own time,
981
00:49:23,160 --> 00:49:26,840
but I wanted to say it, I had to say
it, so... Yeah.
982
00:49:29,080 --> 00:49:30,430
Lovely. I've got a nice, warm,
983
00:49:30,440 --> 00:49:33,600
fuzzy feeling right now,
so this is good. Yay!
984
00:49:35,360 --> 00:49:39,710
So let's go to a decision. Bailey,
if we can start with you first.
985
00:49:39,720 --> 00:49:42,630
You have all the qualities
that I was looking
986
00:49:42,640 --> 00:49:44,270
for in a wife and so many more
987
00:49:44,280 --> 00:49:46,430
that I didn't even realise
that I kind of needed.
988
00:49:46,440 --> 00:49:49,070
So really loving spending time
with you.
989
00:49:49,080 --> 00:49:51,150
Loving to get to know you. And,
yeah,
990
00:49:51,160 --> 00:49:52,830
can't wait
for this journey to carry on.
991
00:49:52,840 --> 00:49:57,230
So it is a resounding stay! Yay!
992
00:49:57,240 --> 00:49:59,350
With a love heart. Oh, let me see.
993
00:49:59,360 --> 00:50:00,550
Oh, that's cute.
994
00:50:00,560 --> 00:50:03,350
Yeah. That's cute.
That's lovely. Lovely.
995
00:50:03,360 --> 00:50:04,910
Rebecca, what's your decision?
996
00:50:04,920 --> 00:50:07,470
I'm so happy with
what you've said to me.
997
00:50:07,480 --> 00:50:11,590
Um, and you know that I feel really,
really strong feelings for you.
998
00:50:11,600 --> 00:50:14,390
And you make life just light
and fun, and...
999
00:50:14,400 --> 00:50:19,080
Yeah, you're just an amazing person.
So 100,000,000% to stay.
1000
00:50:22,440 --> 00:50:24,550
I'm really excited to see
where this relationship goes.
1001
00:50:24,560 --> 00:50:26,750
Thank you. Wish you all the best
for the rest of the week.
1002
00:50:26,760 --> 00:50:28,310
We'll see you next week.
Well done, guys.
1003
00:50:28,320 --> 00:50:30,120
Well done, Bailey. Thank you.
1004
00:50:43,320 --> 00:50:44,880
Next couple up on the couch...
1005
00:50:46,760 --> 00:50:48,240
...Anita and Paul.
1006
00:50:52,080 --> 00:50:54,160
Hello. Hi. Welcome.
1007
00:50:56,600 --> 00:50:59,470
When we last saw you on the couch,
Anita,
1008
00:50:59,480 --> 00:51:03,590
you said leave... Yeah.
And it was all about feeling
1009
00:51:03,600 --> 00:51:06,190
that Paul could be doing more
to listen to you.
1010
00:51:06,200 --> 00:51:08,120
How have things gone this week?
1011
00:51:09,160 --> 00:51:11,790
Um, had your challenge.
1012
00:51:11,800 --> 00:51:17,750
That kind of opened the doors
for Paul to ask more questions.
1013
00:51:17,760 --> 00:51:21,110
Anita, did you feel
that he was asking you questions
1014
00:51:21,120 --> 00:51:23,400
that was helping him to get
to know you better?
1015
00:51:25,280 --> 00:51:31,150
Not really.
Nothing of the deep kind of stuff.
1016
00:51:31,160 --> 00:51:33,630
What did he ask you about?
Paul asked
1017
00:51:33,640 --> 00:51:40,830
do you have the time
and the patience to wait for me?
1018
00:51:40,840 --> 00:51:43,000
And I answered, well,
how long is a piece of string?
1019
00:51:44,560 --> 00:51:47,030
OK. Paul, can you tell us a bit
more about that?
1020
00:51:47,040 --> 00:51:52,320
From my perspective, time makes
all the difference to grow a bond.
1021
00:51:54,080 --> 00:51:57,430
It takes me a long time.
My foundation is trust,
1022
00:51:57,440 --> 00:51:58,760
respect, values.
1023
00:51:59,840 --> 00:52:04,070
And then I build from then,
1024
00:52:04,080 --> 00:52:06,750
and Anita has emphasised she doesn't
have that time.
1025
00:52:06,760 --> 00:52:09,070
Well, really, nobody does
in this experiment. Sure.
1026
00:52:09,080 --> 00:52:12,830
You know, this is a
fast-tracked process.
1027
00:52:12,840 --> 00:52:17,510
I feel like I've made an effort,
but when it got to affairs of
1028
00:52:17,520 --> 00:52:20,720
the heart,
there's not been a lot of depth.
1029
00:52:22,160 --> 00:52:24,990
I sidetracked it slightly,
shall we say.
1030
00:52:25,000 --> 00:52:27,230
You've sidetracked it? I think so.
1031
00:52:27,240 --> 00:52:28,910
Yeah, I think I have to be honest
with myself.
1032
00:52:28,920 --> 00:52:31,270
Yeah, I think I should have
considered that.
1033
00:52:31,280 --> 00:52:36,390
I would have had to be quicker
in being emotionally vulnerable.
1034
00:52:36,400 --> 00:52:41,190
Mm-hm. Paul, when you were starting
to come into the experiment,
1035
00:52:41,200 --> 00:52:44,510
you were quite clear
that you were ready for love.
1036
00:52:44,520 --> 00:52:46,640
So I'm wondering what changed
for you.
1037
00:52:48,280 --> 00:52:49,840
Maybe I wasn't brave enough.
1038
00:52:53,080 --> 00:52:54,240
Fear of opening up.
1039
00:52:55,400 --> 00:52:57,550
Being in a vulnerable space.
1040
00:52:57,560 --> 00:53:02,030
It's kind of alien to me
because it always ended in failure.
1041
00:53:02,040 --> 00:53:03,440
Hence why I'm sitting on the sofa.
1042
00:53:05,480 --> 00:53:08,240
So, Anita, how's all of this landing
for you?
1043
00:53:10,560 --> 00:53:12,070
Disappointed.
1044
00:53:12,080 --> 00:53:14,230
The outside is great,
1045
00:53:14,240 --> 00:53:17,470
and I can see why we've been paired
and matched up.
1046
00:53:17,480 --> 00:53:21,590
But, like, he's like a huge onion.
1047
00:53:21,600 --> 00:53:24,030
He's got loads of layers to him.
1048
00:53:24,040 --> 00:53:25,950
And the deeper layers,
1049
00:53:25,960 --> 00:53:28,190
we are just on two totally
different pages.
1050
00:53:28,200 --> 00:53:29,280
Yeah.
1051
00:53:31,280 --> 00:53:33,040
I'm ready. That's why I'm here.
1052
00:53:34,240 --> 00:53:37,760
I don't think truly
Paul has actually been ready.
1053
00:53:40,640 --> 00:53:41,880
Paul and I are...
1054
00:53:44,520 --> 00:53:45,520
...good friends.
1055
00:53:46,560 --> 00:53:48,280
But that's not what I came for.
1056
00:53:49,760 --> 00:53:51,400
I came looking for love and...
1057
00:53:52,840 --> 00:53:53,880
Yeah.
1058
00:53:56,040 --> 00:53:59,750
Yeah. That's a very
observant comment, I think.
1059
00:53:59,760 --> 00:54:03,120
You came to find love.
And I came to find myself.
1060
00:54:06,200 --> 00:54:07,390
I'm going to go to a decision.
1061
00:54:07,400 --> 00:54:09,280
Anita, to you first.
1062
00:54:10,520 --> 00:54:12,350
I know I said I was a bolter last
week,
1063
00:54:12,360 --> 00:54:15,190
and I took your advice on board.
1064
00:54:15,200 --> 00:54:20,160
I spent more time with Paul,
but I'm still not convinced...
1065
00:54:22,640 --> 00:54:26,120
...we can get on the same path. Um...
1066
00:54:27,240 --> 00:54:29,550
I think the world
of Paul, I really do, genuinely,
1067
00:54:29,560 --> 00:54:32,360
from the bottom of my heart.
I really do.
1068
00:54:54,960 --> 00:54:57,790
My mindset really hasn't shifted
1069
00:54:57,800 --> 00:55:01,640
that much, so I've decided to...
1070
00:55:03,120 --> 00:55:04,160
...leave.
1071
00:55:10,640 --> 00:55:13,160
And to you, Paul. My turn. Yeah.
1072
00:55:14,280 --> 00:55:16,480
Um. It's with...
1073
00:55:21,720 --> 00:55:22,960
...great understanding.
1074
00:55:24,880 --> 00:55:27,070
Great respect.
1075
00:55:27,080 --> 00:55:29,320
Back to the golf course. Leave.
1076
00:55:34,280 --> 00:55:36,630
All right. You certainly look like
1077
00:55:36,640 --> 00:55:39,270
a couple of people
who have a lovely friendship.
1078
00:55:39,280 --> 00:55:42,950
Yeah, 100%. I enjoyed her company.
She's a good girl.
1079
00:55:42,960 --> 00:55:45,190
We are, obviously, the three of us,
1080
00:55:45,200 --> 00:55:47,990
very disappointed for both of you
that you didn't find
1081
00:55:48,000 --> 00:55:51,430
what you were looking for here.
But we are certainly buoyed by
1082
00:55:51,440 --> 00:55:54,630
the thought that you both learned
a thing or two about yourselves
1083
00:55:54,640 --> 00:55:56,670
that, hopefully,
you can now take back into the world
1084
00:55:56,680 --> 00:55:59,350
and, hopefully, into future
relationships,
1085
00:55:59,360 --> 00:56:02,510
knowing more about what you want
and what you don't want, for sure.
1086
00:56:02,520 --> 00:56:05,550
So thank you so much
for all your honesty and openness.
1087
00:56:05,560 --> 00:56:07,600
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
1088
00:56:13,160 --> 00:56:14,190
Came here for a wife.
1089
00:56:14,200 --> 00:56:16,550
I came here for love.
That was the intention.
1090
00:56:16,560 --> 00:56:19,110
It's all right. It's all right.
1091
00:56:19,120 --> 00:56:21,230
I think from Anita's perspective,
1092
00:56:21,240 --> 00:56:23,630
it needs to be instant.
1093
00:56:23,640 --> 00:56:26,240
I just wanted time to find
that love.
1094
00:56:27,480 --> 00:56:30,950
I wish I could have been able
to get vulnerable much quicker.
1095
00:56:30,960 --> 00:56:36,110
My pace was a bit slower,
my emotion was not very deep,
1096
00:56:36,120 --> 00:56:38,560
and I have to take responsibility
for that.
1097
00:56:55,240 --> 00:56:56,840
Next up to the couch...
1098
00:57:00,080 --> 00:57:02,560
...Leigh and Leah. Come on.
1099
00:57:07,280 --> 00:57:12,710
Hello. Hello. Good to see you both.
Good to see you.
1100
00:57:12,720 --> 00:57:16,870
How are you? Wobbly week.
Wonky wobbly week.
1101
00:57:16,880 --> 00:57:19,230
A wonky, wobbly week. Yeah. Yeah.
1102
00:57:19,240 --> 00:57:20,310
All right.
1103
00:57:20,320 --> 00:57:24,950
So where I would love to begin is
when you heard this one was coming.
1104
00:57:24,960 --> 00:57:28,070
Oh. We definitely need it.
And I was excited for it.
1105
00:57:28,080 --> 00:57:30,430
I just didn't know what to expect.
Yeah.
1106
00:57:30,440 --> 00:57:32,800
Well, I weren't expecting the table
of sex toys, put it that way.
1107
00:57:34,280 --> 00:57:36,030
We took a handful of stuff.
1108
00:57:36,040 --> 00:57:39,110
I would like to have done the wax
candle thing.
1109
00:57:39,120 --> 00:57:41,470
She did pinky promise. I did pinky
promise that we'd do it last night.
1110
00:57:41,480 --> 00:57:43,590
But I'll be honest,
it was a really long day,
1111
00:57:43,600 --> 00:57:45,430
and we were both tired by the time
we got home.
1112
00:57:45,440 --> 00:57:47,470
It wasn't the best time for me to
get in massage mode.
1113
00:57:47,480 --> 00:57:48,750
Like, I could have had a massage.
1114
00:57:48,760 --> 00:57:51,880
OK.
Another thing I've done wrong then.
1115
00:57:53,920 --> 00:57:58,230
What was the intention of taking
the sex toys?
1116
00:57:58,240 --> 00:58:02,830
To maybe go the next step? Or,
like, see what happens with them?
1117
00:58:02,840 --> 00:58:04,870
Was that your intention, Leigh?
1118
00:58:04,880 --> 00:58:05,990
I wasn't massively thinking,
1119
00:58:06,000 --> 00:58:08,990
"Oh, my God, can't wait to get into
bed and use all these later."
1120
00:58:09,000 --> 00:58:12,350
Being that we're not even at
that base yet.
1121
00:58:12,360 --> 00:58:14,310
Me and Leah have kissed a few times,
1122
00:58:14,320 --> 00:58:18,240
but I think we've got a lot to come
before we even get to that point.
1123
00:58:20,080 --> 00:58:21,830
What's holding you back?
1124
00:58:21,840 --> 00:58:22,920
Um...
1125
00:58:24,240 --> 00:58:28,470
There's been this huge light shone
on mine and Leah's intimacy.
1126
00:58:28,480 --> 00:58:33,790
And when this pressure has come in,
it just kind of feels a bit, like,
1127
00:58:33,800 --> 00:58:37,310
"Can we just, like, appreciate all
of the good that we do have
1128
00:58:37,320 --> 00:58:39,590
"for a second and not, you know,
1129
00:58:39,600 --> 00:58:41,750
"shine this light on the little bits
that are missing,
1130
00:58:41,760 --> 00:58:43,350
"and that will come naturally."
1131
00:58:43,360 --> 00:58:46,230
Because the intimacy on a physical
level could come
1132
00:58:46,240 --> 00:58:48,320
when we deepen
that emotional connection.
1133
00:58:50,040 --> 00:58:52,510
So let's go to something else
1134
00:58:52,520 --> 00:58:59,350
that I saw creep up. That you,
Leigh, were voicing concern
1135
00:58:59,360 --> 00:59:01,270
with regard to an interaction
1136
00:59:01,280 --> 00:59:04,110
that you thought Leah and Rebecca
had.
1137
00:59:04,120 --> 00:59:08,030
There was a moment where I felt Leah
was being overfamiliar with Rebecca.
1138
00:59:08,040 --> 00:59:10,870
I mean, now we've realised
in a way it was quite positive
1139
00:59:10,880 --> 00:59:13,030
because there's obviously
feelings there,
1140
00:59:13,040 --> 00:59:15,230
otherwise I wouldn't have reacted
that way.
1141
00:59:15,240 --> 00:59:18,910
OK. Have you investigated
those feelings?
1142
00:59:18,920 --> 00:59:20,750
I have tried to.
1143
00:59:20,760 --> 00:59:23,870
I've been with people in the past
that have been overly flirty
1144
00:59:23,880 --> 00:59:26,470
and disrespectful in front
of my face, so I'll take that
1145
00:59:26,480 --> 00:59:27,550
there was part of that
1146
00:59:27,560 --> 00:59:29,560
that was a trigger
for me from my past.
1147
00:59:30,640 --> 00:59:32,870
But I wouldn't feel this way about
a friend.
1148
00:59:32,880 --> 00:59:34,870
I wouldn't feel those feelings
of jealousy.
1149
00:59:34,880 --> 00:59:37,710
I wouldn't, you know, be bothered
when we're arguing
1150
00:59:37,720 --> 00:59:41,350
and get my back up and get
argumentative in the moment,
1151
00:59:41,360 --> 00:59:44,310
because if I didn't care
to that degree, I wouldn't do that.
1152
00:59:44,320 --> 00:59:47,670
So I've identified
that there are feelings there.
1153
00:59:47,680 --> 00:59:49,320
So for me that's positive.
1154
00:59:50,400 --> 00:59:52,470
You have this feeling of jealousy.
1155
00:59:52,480 --> 00:59:55,870
What is the fear of that feeling.
1156
00:59:55,880 --> 00:59:57,230
Like, not being enough,
1157
00:59:57,240 --> 00:59:58,990
because I've had that in the past.
1158
00:59:59,000 --> 01:00:01,560
So if you have those fears,
what's the desire?
1159
01:00:03,080 --> 01:00:07,710
To be enough and to be respected.
Not for you just to be enough,
1160
01:00:07,720 --> 01:00:11,230
but for your partner to exhibit
that you are enough?
1161
01:00:11,240 --> 01:00:13,190
Yeah. That's what you want. Yeah.
1162
01:00:13,200 --> 01:00:17,790
You want to make sure Leah feels
like you are enough.
1163
01:00:17,800 --> 01:00:21,990
Personally, like, it's nice to know
that she has got feeling in there.
1164
01:00:22,000 --> 01:00:25,390
She doesn't say things like
that a lot.
1165
01:00:25,400 --> 01:00:29,120
You know, Leigh, Leah adores you...
1166
01:00:30,720 --> 01:00:33,510
...and she wants to be affirmed.
1167
01:00:33,520 --> 01:00:35,510
Yeah. An affirm could be,
1168
01:00:35,520 --> 01:00:37,990
"I do like you. I do care about
you." It could be a hug.
1169
01:00:38,000 --> 01:00:40,270
It could be whatever it may be,
but the key is
1170
01:00:40,280 --> 01:00:42,950
that you're consistently
affirming your partner.
1171
01:00:42,960 --> 01:00:44,750
Yeah, I'll make more of an effort.
I feel like
1172
01:00:44,760 --> 01:00:47,110
I do that with you, quite a lot.
Yeah. You do.
1173
01:00:47,120 --> 01:00:50,390
But moving forward, I accept
that that's important to you.
1174
01:00:50,400 --> 01:00:52,390
And I will make an effort
to do that.
1175
01:00:52,400 --> 01:00:55,430
OK. Let's go to a decision.
1176
01:00:55,440 --> 01:00:57,750
Leigh? It's been a wobbly week.
1177
01:00:57,760 --> 01:01:01,110
It has been a wobbly week.
Although it's been difficult,
1178
01:01:01,120 --> 01:01:03,470
I think it's become
so much more apparent
1179
01:01:03,480 --> 01:01:05,910
that there definitely
is something there.
1180
01:01:05,920 --> 01:01:08,390
So, yeah, I want to continue to see
where it goes,
1181
01:01:08,400 --> 01:01:13,630
and I want to discover more levels
of you and us.
1182
01:01:13,640 --> 01:01:15,720
So I chose to stay.
1183
01:01:22,120 --> 01:01:24,990
I think for me, I do believe there's
definitely something there.
1184
01:01:25,000 --> 01:01:27,990
I've taken the arguments
really positively
1185
01:01:28,000 --> 01:01:29,390
because it's shown that you have
1186
01:01:29,400 --> 01:01:33,150
got some kind of feeling there.
So I wrote stay.
1187
01:01:33,160 --> 01:01:34,440
Wonderful.
1188
01:01:39,600 --> 01:01:43,990
Let's take the pressure off
the physical intimacy
1189
01:01:44,000 --> 01:01:46,750
and let's work on building
the emotional intimacy.
1190
01:01:46,760 --> 01:01:49,280
Yeah, I'd love that. All right.
Does that sound fair?
1191
01:01:50,640 --> 01:01:51,990
Yeah. All right.
1192
01:01:52,000 --> 01:01:55,800
This is good. Thank you. Thank you.
1193
01:02:04,560 --> 01:02:07,110
Our next couple on the
couch tonight -
1194
01:02:07,120 --> 01:02:08,760
Nelly and Steven.
1195
01:02:16,840 --> 01:02:19,000
Hello, you two. Hello.
You all right?
1196
01:02:22,120 --> 01:02:25,030
Well, last night's dinner party
1197
01:02:25,040 --> 01:02:29,470
was rough... You're telling me.
...for you guys.
1198
01:02:29,480 --> 01:02:32,110
And, certainly, just looking at
1199
01:02:32,120 --> 01:02:35,400
the two of you now,
it's looking pretty frosty.
1200
01:02:36,680 --> 01:02:40,840
So what has transpired
in the last 24 hours?
1201
01:02:42,000 --> 01:02:46,110
Um, so we had the dinner
party last night.
1202
01:02:46,120 --> 01:02:47,470
There was a lot of opinions
in the room,
1203
01:02:47,480 --> 01:02:48,630
which I really appreciated,
1204
01:02:48,640 --> 01:02:50,750
because I feel
like I needed my support system
1205
01:02:50,760 --> 01:02:52,430
to vocalise how I was feeling.
1206
01:02:52,440 --> 01:02:53,710
When we got home, we said we weren't
1207
01:02:53,720 --> 01:02:55,550
going to talk about it,
but I just said to him,
1208
01:02:55,560 --> 01:02:58,070
"Please, if I ever talk about my
feelings,
1209
01:02:58,080 --> 01:02:59,430
"just hear me and listen to me."
1210
01:02:59,440 --> 01:03:01,270
And he said, yeah, and he would.
1211
01:03:01,280 --> 01:03:03,430
And then this morning we were
talking,
1212
01:03:03,440 --> 01:03:06,790
and then it turned into an argument,
1213
01:03:06,800 --> 01:03:09,200
which ended with Steven calling me
a fucking idiot.
1214
01:03:16,880 --> 01:03:18,630
I allowed frustrations to get
the better of me.
1215
01:03:18,640 --> 01:03:20,510
I didn't mean it directed at you.
1216
01:03:20,520 --> 01:03:21,590
I mean, it's just the whole
1217
01:03:21,600 --> 01:03:23,430
situation is just idiotic to me.
1218
01:03:23,440 --> 01:03:26,590
Like, everything that's led up to it
this week has
1219
01:03:26,600 --> 01:03:29,030
just been so frustrating and saying,
1220
01:03:29,040 --> 01:03:31,790
going around in circles, I didn't.
Sorry. Can I just be clear?
1221
01:03:31,800 --> 01:03:35,550
Did you call the situation an idiot
or Nelly?
1222
01:03:35,560 --> 01:03:38,110
I'm meant to say the whole situation
for me is.
1223
01:03:38,120 --> 01:03:39,560
He said, "You're a fucking idiot."
1224
01:03:40,880 --> 01:03:44,590
I was trying to work out that the
whole situation is idiotic to me.
1225
01:03:44,600 --> 01:03:46,830
But what you actually...
Fucking idiot. Yeah.
1226
01:03:46,840 --> 01:03:48,440
And that's just how it come out.
1227
01:03:52,200 --> 01:03:53,400
It's not just how it came out.
1228
01:03:54,600 --> 01:03:56,360
It's how you chose to say it.
1229
01:03:58,280 --> 01:03:59,320
You're a grown man...
1230
01:04:00,400 --> 01:04:02,520
...in control of the words
that come out of your mouth.
1231
01:04:15,320 --> 01:04:16,950
He said, "You're a fucking idiot."
Yeah.
1232
01:04:16,960 --> 01:04:20,150
And I said I was trying to work out
1233
01:04:20,160 --> 01:04:21,910
that the whole
situation is idiotic to me.
1234
01:04:21,920 --> 01:04:23,350
But what you actually said...
1235
01:04:23,360 --> 01:04:25,760
Fucking idiot. Yeah. Yeah.
And that's just how it come out.
1236
01:04:28,240 --> 01:04:31,640
It's not just how it came out.
It's how you chose to say it.
1237
01:04:32,760 --> 01:04:33,990
You're a grown man
1238
01:04:34,000 --> 01:04:36,160
in control of the words
that come out of your mouth.
1239
01:04:38,640 --> 01:04:40,750
Is this something that's new
for you,
1240
01:04:40,760 --> 01:04:42,670
coming out with a bit of an outburst
like this,
1241
01:04:42,680 --> 01:04:45,950
or is that a pattern you've noticed
in yourself?
1242
01:04:45,960 --> 01:04:49,270
Totally new to me.
I'm a very calm character.
1243
01:04:49,280 --> 01:04:50,350
I'm a very cool character.
1244
01:04:50,360 --> 01:04:53,910
I find it very hard
to actually lose my rag.
1245
01:04:53,920 --> 01:04:55,150
And the reason, obviously, for that,
1246
01:04:55,160 --> 01:04:58,310
which I've opened up
to Nelly a few bits about,
1247
01:04:58,320 --> 01:05:00,710
obviously, my attack when I was 20,
1248
01:05:00,720 --> 01:05:06,800
and I found it very hard then
to lose my temper with people.
1249
01:05:07,880 --> 01:05:11,230
For many, many years I felt broken
because I can't feel those emotions.
1250
01:05:11,240 --> 01:05:14,710
OK. I can see what's happening here.
1251
01:05:14,720 --> 01:05:16,470
You've had trauma and you bring
1252
01:05:16,480 --> 01:05:22,190
that into the relationship,
and that counts to a point.
1253
01:05:22,200 --> 01:05:24,070
But it doesn't excuse it
1254
01:05:24,080 --> 01:05:27,350
because the bottom line here is
you've said something
1255
01:05:27,360 --> 01:05:29,040
that's really hurt Nelly.
1256
01:05:30,680 --> 01:05:33,070
Are you understanding the impact
1257
01:05:33,080 --> 01:05:37,070
of your words
and behaviour this week on Nelly?
1258
01:05:37,080 --> 01:05:38,270
Yeah, absolutely.
1259
01:05:38,280 --> 01:05:41,270
I think this week my
marriage hadn't been a priority.
1260
01:05:41,280 --> 01:05:43,230
Getting the news my stepdad,
1261
01:05:43,240 --> 01:05:45,790
who's basically raised me,
is in hospital.
1262
01:05:45,800 --> 01:05:47,360
So for me...
1263
01:05:53,880 --> 01:05:55,400
You OK.
1264
01:05:57,760 --> 01:06:02,990
So for me this week,
I've just not been able to think of
1265
01:06:03,000 --> 01:06:05,910
the marriage,
when you've potentially,
1266
01:06:05,920 --> 01:06:06,990
like, broken your rib.
1267
01:06:07,000 --> 01:06:09,230
I didn't come home because
I was with the guys.
1268
01:06:09,240 --> 01:06:10,790
That was my outlet.
1269
01:06:10,800 --> 01:06:14,390
Are you saying, then,
that the events of this week
1270
01:06:14,400 --> 01:06:18,750
and the way
that you've responded are purely
1271
01:06:18,760 --> 01:06:20,510
a function of you having a lot
1272
01:06:20,520 --> 01:06:23,070
of stress in your life outside of
the experiment?
1273
01:06:23,080 --> 01:06:24,990
1,000,000% it's out of character
for me.
1274
01:06:25,000 --> 01:06:27,630
Well,
it's certainly surprising to us,
1275
01:06:27,640 --> 01:06:31,030
and it's been really hard
to watch this week.
1276
01:06:31,040 --> 01:06:34,590
Um, and now, you know,
seeing how much pain you're in,
1277
01:06:34,600 --> 01:06:37,350
I think it does help us understand
a little bit.
1278
01:06:37,360 --> 01:06:40,190
You know, this is not the Steven
that we know.
1279
01:06:40,200 --> 01:06:43,150
And, Nelly, you're probably thinking
this is not the man I married.
1280
01:06:43,160 --> 01:06:45,710
Yeah, I think I'm just thinking,
well, which one are you?
1281
01:06:45,720 --> 01:06:47,390
Is this you?
1282
01:06:47,400 --> 01:06:50,030
Because if it is, then we can shake
hands and we can go.
1283
01:06:50,040 --> 01:06:51,710
We can split from here.
1284
01:06:51,720 --> 01:06:53,750
Or are you the Steven on
the honeymoon?
1285
01:06:53,760 --> 01:06:55,550
Because we were so happy.
1286
01:06:55,560 --> 01:06:59,030
My concern here is that, Steven,
your behaviour this week
1287
01:06:59,040 --> 01:07:02,430
has fed into Nelly's
existing insecurities.
1288
01:07:02,440 --> 01:07:03,680
Yeah.
1289
01:07:06,160 --> 01:07:07,950
Yeah. Is that right? Yeah.
1290
01:07:07,960 --> 01:07:09,360
I just feel like, um...
1291
01:07:11,280 --> 01:07:13,230
...I don't know whether I can open
up, like,
1292
01:07:13,240 --> 01:07:15,230
how I was on the honeymoon,
1293
01:07:15,240 --> 01:07:18,310
because I did,
and I feel like I got burned.
1294
01:07:18,320 --> 01:07:20,150
So it's the same story.
1295
01:07:20,160 --> 01:07:22,430
What's the point?
This week has been awful.
1296
01:07:22,440 --> 01:07:24,030
It's been hell.
1297
01:07:24,040 --> 01:07:25,640
Just... I don't know who you are.
1298
01:07:27,200 --> 01:07:29,440
Steven, you're the one with
the answers here.
1299
01:07:31,960 --> 01:07:34,710
It is that stress.
What you saw on the honeymoon,
1300
01:07:34,720 --> 01:07:36,910
what you saw on the wedding day,
that's me.
1301
01:07:36,920 --> 01:07:39,990
It's been so long
since I've actually met someone
1302
01:07:40,000 --> 01:07:41,070
who I've connected with
1303
01:07:41,080 --> 01:07:43,870
and vibed with to the point
where I'm like, "Oh, shit.
1304
01:07:43,880 --> 01:07:47,790
"This is a great feeling."
I've not heard that before.
1305
01:07:47,800 --> 01:07:49,790
I know because I'm allowing myself
1306
01:07:49,800 --> 01:07:51,790
to be vulnerable
and emotional for a change.
1307
01:07:51,800 --> 01:07:54,630
Thank you.
This is not something I'm used to.
1308
01:07:54,640 --> 01:07:56,590
Nelly, I'm curious about
what you need
1309
01:07:56,600 --> 01:08:01,190
from Steven to start to feel
that things are back on track.
1310
01:08:01,200 --> 01:08:03,150
I just need the words
that he said this week.
1311
01:08:03,160 --> 01:08:07,360
He needs to put them into action.
I just need to feel like you care.
1312
01:08:09,600 --> 01:08:12,390
It's very clear that this week,
Steven,
1313
01:08:12,400 --> 01:08:14,830
through your actions,
1314
01:08:14,840 --> 01:08:17,200
you've communicated to Nelly
that you don't care.
1315
01:08:18,320 --> 01:08:20,120
How do you actually feel about her?
1316
01:08:23,120 --> 01:08:25,150
I like you. I really like you.
And, of course,
1317
01:08:25,160 --> 01:08:26,230
my actions this week
1318
01:08:26,240 --> 01:08:29,150
would suggest otherwise,
but the like is there,
1319
01:08:29,160 --> 01:08:30,840
otherwise I wouldn't be here.
1320
01:08:31,920 --> 01:08:33,510
This is real. I'm in it.
1321
01:08:33,520 --> 01:08:35,670
I would love to be
on that path for the love.
1322
01:08:35,680 --> 01:08:38,070
That's what I'm here for.
I'm still willing to fight for this
1323
01:08:38,080 --> 01:08:41,230
because that honeymoon thing
that we had,
1324
01:08:41,240 --> 01:08:43,350
that's me. That's us.
1325
01:08:43,360 --> 01:08:45,870
This week is not me.
1326
01:08:45,880 --> 01:08:47,280
It's not us.
1327
01:08:52,640 --> 01:08:55,230
With that,
we're going to go to a decision,
1328
01:08:55,240 --> 01:08:57,230
and we're going to start
with Steven.
1329
01:08:57,240 --> 01:09:02,510
So for me, as hard
as this week has been emotionally,
1330
01:09:02,520 --> 01:09:04,750
after this morning,
I thought I'd pushed
1331
01:09:04,760 --> 01:09:08,550
Nelly back even further
because of me being an idiot.
1332
01:09:08,560 --> 01:09:12,350
But I'm not going to give up
on something over
1333
01:09:12,360 --> 01:09:15,230
the first real hurdle
we've had. And this time next week,
1334
01:09:15,240 --> 01:09:20,270
it won't be me being an absolute
A-hole to this person next to me.
1335
01:09:20,280 --> 01:09:24,150
It'll be back to what you saw last
week, and everything,
1336
01:09:24,160 --> 01:09:27,310
hopefully, going forward to
what we want
1337
01:09:27,320 --> 01:09:29,870
for the future
because that's what I want.
1338
01:09:29,880 --> 01:09:31,920
So I'm going to stay.
1339
01:09:37,360 --> 01:09:39,320
Thank you. And to you, Nelly.
1340
01:09:41,240 --> 01:09:43,310
So, obviously, this week
has been really,
1341
01:09:43,320 --> 01:09:45,790
really difficult for me. Um...
1342
01:09:45,800 --> 01:09:48,040
Everything in my body was telling me
to run.
1343
01:09:50,160 --> 01:09:51,670
It... Honestly,
if I'm honest with you,
1344
01:09:51,680 --> 01:09:53,390
I've been 50 over 50 for like,
the whole...
1345
01:09:53,400 --> 01:09:55,030
Especially after today.
1346
01:09:55,040 --> 01:09:56,720
It's been really, really hard
for me.
1347
01:09:59,800 --> 01:10:03,110
I would just feel like I would
be doing a disservice to both of us
1348
01:10:03,120 --> 01:10:08,350
if I've not given you a chance
to show me that you do care.
1349
01:10:08,360 --> 01:10:10,950
So I've said, I want to stay
for now.
1350
01:10:10,960 --> 01:10:12,640
OK. OK.
1351
01:10:13,680 --> 01:10:14,720
OK.
1352
01:10:20,760 --> 01:10:22,510
Steven,
1353
01:10:22,520 --> 01:10:25,350
you've got some heavy lifting
to do this week.
1354
01:10:25,360 --> 01:10:27,950
This is all about showing
up for Nelly,
1355
01:10:27,960 --> 01:10:30,390
showing her who you really are.
1356
01:10:30,400 --> 01:10:34,790
Showing her how much she matters,
supporting her. Yeah.
1357
01:10:34,800 --> 01:10:37,430
The spotlight is on you,
my friend. I appreciate it.
1358
01:10:37,440 --> 01:10:40,150
Thank you very much.
Thanks, guys. Thank you.
1359
01:10:40,160 --> 01:10:41,840
Thank you so much. Well done.
1360
01:10:51,640 --> 01:10:54,070
Steven's obviously going through
a lot. It's really sad,
1361
01:10:54,080 --> 01:10:55,870
and his dad's a priority
at the moment.
1362
01:10:55,880 --> 01:10:59,190
But I'm sorry, this week has been
awful. It's been hellish.
1363
01:10:59,200 --> 01:11:02,830
I need to see Steven
affirm me, support me,
1364
01:11:02,840 --> 01:11:04,230
show up for me.
1365
01:11:04,240 --> 01:11:06,030
He really needs to show me
that he cares
1366
01:11:06,040 --> 01:11:09,150
because if he doesn't,
then it's just words
1367
01:11:09,160 --> 01:11:11,990
and he's not backing it
up with action.
1368
01:11:12,000 --> 01:11:13,760
I just need a bit more.
1369
01:11:15,600 --> 01:11:16,870
Next time...
1370
01:11:16,880 --> 01:11:18,990
I'm not going to tell the
story your way.
1371
01:11:19,000 --> 01:11:20,910
...Grace and Ashley continue to
clash.
1372
01:11:20,920 --> 01:11:22,950
It's like talking
to a brick wall, Ash.
1373
01:11:22,960 --> 01:11:25,710
And as the experiment
hits its next phase.
1374
01:11:25,720 --> 01:11:28,390
It's in-laws week. Brilliant.
Oh, God.
1375
01:11:28,400 --> 01:11:29,950
Hi. Are you all right?
Nice to see you again.
1376
01:11:29,960 --> 01:11:31,790
Will hard truths from loved ones...
1377
01:11:31,800 --> 01:11:33,230
This has probably been the hardest
week.
1378
01:11:33,240 --> 01:11:34,990
...spell more trouble for the couple?
1379
01:11:35,000 --> 01:11:37,030
I just don't want you to tell me how
to look, how to be.
1380
01:11:37,040 --> 01:11:38,950
I don't need it. I would agree.
1381
01:11:38,960 --> 01:11:41,030
Don't tell me what to wear.
1382
01:11:41,040 --> 01:11:44,150
And it's time
for six more courageous singles...
1383
01:11:44,160 --> 01:11:46,070
When I have my happily ever after.
1384
01:11:46,080 --> 01:11:48,470
...to take the ultimate gamble
on love.
1385
01:11:48,480 --> 01:11:52,110
Today is now or never.
Everything is riding on this.
1386
01:11:52,120 --> 01:11:54,150
But will an overprotective mum...
1387
01:11:54,160 --> 01:11:55,390
Here's my Abby.
1388
01:11:55,400 --> 01:11:57,510
I will not see her hurt again.
1389
01:11:57,520 --> 01:12:00,110
...derail the first
new couple's big day?
1390
01:12:00,120 --> 01:12:01,750
Last thing I want is to be upset
1391
01:12:01,760 --> 01:12:05,550
by some arrogant person
that comes along.
1392
01:12:05,560 --> 01:12:08,470
I am the one that vets everybody.
I'm the bad guy.
1393
01:12:08,480 --> 01:12:10,440
Beware!
114021
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