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This programme contains strong language and adult themes.
We're so cute. Previously... I'm home!
...our newlyweds took the next step into married life.
Ah!
But for some, domestic harmony...
I won't be living in this apartment. I need some time out.
...was short-lived.
It was the first dinner party of the experiment.
Here we are on this mad experiment
Seeing things not in our element!
Sarah shared her unfiltered opinions on Dean.
He asked me if I'd ever slept with anyone fat before.
He's like a Care Bear.
Sarah's already entered the zone of being disrespectful
and that's something that needs to end.
And for Julia-Ruth and Divarni...
The spark is definitely there.
We're literally like yin and yang.
...conflicting accounts of the honeymoon...
He said how amazing it was.
On what planet?
...left their marriage hanging by a thread.
The honeymoon was not easy.
They've heard a different story.
It makes no sense.
SHE SOBS
Tonight...
It's the very first commitment ceremony.
...it's time for the couples to face the experts.
Can't communicate with you and you don't listen.
You don't back down.
It's been difficult.
It's been proper difficult.
This isn't going to work.
Tension builds as two couples clash.
No emotional connection, no communication.
I thought we could build from the wedding day.
We're just miles apart.
And Sarah's badmouthing...
Do you think that you were rude while talking about your partner?
...catches up with her.
This man is talking about how lovely his partner is,
and you are on the other side of the room
disrespecting him.
It's not me. It's not who I am.
SOBS
That was good. Right, now get the other one in.
Other one. Oh!
No. Right, put 'em down though,
cos we're all gonna be BLEEP orange juice.
Can I have this piece of toast?
That one's a bit buttery.
Cholesterol for breakfast.
Yesterday was a lot, wasn't it? It was a lot.
Yeah. Fun though. Yeah, we had a really good time.
I felt really confident with you even before we saw everybody else.
But then when we did see everyone else
and we saw where they were at, I was like,
"Oh, actually, we are super strong."
Yeah, it's a nice feeling, isn't it?
I loved walking into the dinner party with Bec.
I love showing her off and I walked in with a big smile on my face.
Bailey and I are really good. We're happy.
We have gone from strength to strength every day.
We're very tactile. Intimacy is great.
The spark for us is flying.
So we're going into the commitment ceremony
in a really strong position.
The vibe this morning is a little bit tense.
After last night's dinner party,
Divarni and I spent the night separately.
We had an argument.
Compared to other couples, I knew that we were struggling.
It felt like, again, we were on different pages.
He was trying to just paint a picture
so no one could see what was going on.
He's saying it's BLEEP daisies
It wasn't the best feeling to know that my wife was upset.
How I articulated our issues was a little bit sugar-coated.
I can admit that.
But that's what I chose to do because obviously we're a team.
Thank you.
So here we are.
Last night was intense, wasn't it?
Mm. Yeah, I'm sorry about the crying.
I wasn't planning on doing that.
I got upset at the dinner party yesterday from the honesty box.
I feel a little bit embarrassed.
Nelly, can you see yourself falling for me?
It's very hard for me to say.
Yeah. That's fine. Yeah.
Why is it so hard for you to talk about falling for somebody?
I think I'm so afraid of, um...
...being so emotionally open and vulnerable to someone.
Like, thinking that they know who I am and think,
"You know what, I'm not into her."
And then they break my heart.
I can't with it anymore, it's too much.
Just a lot for week one. Yeah, of course it is.
It's like, when that honesty box comes out,
we all know what that entails.
So very courageous of you to show that emotion and say what you said.
Steven's doing all the right things,
but I still keep getting into my own head thinking,
"Well, does he like you? Are you sure about that?"
I don't want to scare him off or give him the ick.
And I will convince myself
if he doesn't hold my hand for long enough,
it's because he's not into me.
Even though the poor guy probably just wants his arm back.
He's clearly telling me he's being truthful.
Why can't I believe it?
Looking forward to seeing the experts today?
Do you think you're going to get emotional?
Me? I don't get emotional.
What if they poke you in all the right places?
It hasn't happened for a while so...
HE CHUCKLES
THEY LAUGH
Grace and I, I feel, are in a really good place.
We're quite, quite stable at the moment,
so I'm quite happy with where I am.
Is there anything you're looking to talk to the experts about?
I feel like they might... I think it could be confronting.
I'm scared.
I wasn't myself on honeymoon,
and it's all been so overwhelming and so hard.
I don't want to do this. Sorry.
On their wedding day...
...Grace struggled to find a connection with Ashley.
I was raised like men are the breadwinners.
Old-school morals, basically.
Yeah...
And the honeymoon brought her walls up even higher.
OK. Is that enough now?
Yikes.
Oh, I'm not really feeling it.
I feel like everything I'm doing is wrong
and I don't know why.
In an effort to turn things around, Grace finally opened up to Ashley.
I just want to explain the physical touch thing
because I feel like maybe I'm making it seem like it's you.
I've been this way since I was a kid.
It's a sensation that I don't like.
It's like skin...
Yeah. ..but it's especially bad when I'm a bit stressed
and with people I don't know.
I don't mean to project it onto you.
I just hope I don't get upset.
If you do feel emotional, what is it that I'm supposed to do?
Cos my natural reaction would be to give you a hug if you're emotional,
but you obviously don't...
You're not going to want that. So what is it I do?
I might want that. I don't know. Let's just see.
Let's just cross that bridge.
I am nervous about seeing the experts.
Obviously, they're going to shine a light on all the things that,
you know, sometimes I avoid talking about.
The touching, the PDA, all of that...
I'm the problem.
That's how I feel, actually.
So that's maybe why I'm nervous.
I'm so sorry you feel sick.
Davide is feeling really unwell. He's so achy.
That poor man has got no energy whatsoever.
How are you feeling about seeing the experts tonight by yourself?
Overall, I'm terrified about going by myself
and I don't want to go.
I'm sure you're gonna be fine. Yeah, I got this. Don't worry.
But drink the honey and lemon ginger tea when it's hot.
It does nothing now it's cold.
A little bit worried
about walking into my first ceremony without him,
but I think we're really strong, so it should be fine.
First commitment ceremony today.
What do you think they're gonna say to us?
I don't really know.
From here, shit gets deeper, doesn't it?
I want the experts to tell us where we're going wrong.
We're just not there yet, in terms of the romantic connection.
It's more than friends, but at the same time,
she doesn't want to rip my clothes off.
I said, "You just need to let your wall down a little bit more."
Like, I'm trying.
I'm being way more open and vulnerable than I ever would
in any situation.
The thing is, mine's not by choice.
That vulnerability or, like, moving to that next stage with you
is just not coming naturally.
And it's not like something that I'm choosing to do,
and it sounds so shallow.
I think this whole narrative of like,
oh, you're not my typical type
so like I'm struggling to feel the romance.
It's not just about, like,
you don't have an undercut, you know what I mean?
Me having my walls up isn't by choice.
Like, it's not something I'm in control of.
Like, I feel like I'm blocked off and I can't unblock.
It's just, like, how do I let these walls down?
But at the same time,
I think I'm more willing to try and get the wall down.
There's a big decision to make today.
I'm trying to be open and vulnerable,
but I've had my walls up for so long, it's going to be
really hard to change and let my guard down.
I'm trying to, like, give it my all and be completely open.
And initially, that attraction wasn't there.
So I'm intrigued to see what the experts advice is
and what they think is beneficial for us to do moving forward.
JOE COUGHS
Are you still feeling shit?
Yeah, I feel terrible, to be honest. I feel like crap.
Joe was feeling poorly, so I don't know
if he's going to be able to attend the commitment ceremony.
I'm nervous, you know.
Obviously, like, it's a commitment ceremony
and I hate feelings,
so I'm guessing we're going to be talking about
how we feel about each other.
Joe was expressing some feelings towards us at the dinner party.
I feel exactly the same way.
I'm just not very good at showing it.
But I'm obviously going to tell the experts that I really like Joe
because I can't stop smiling when I talk about him.
Feeling a little bit disappointed.
I came away from the dinner party feeling the same about Paul
as I did going in.
I agree with Rebecca
saying that Paul and I was one of the weakest couples.
I'm struggling with the emotional connection.
Whatever decision I make today is very important.
I entered this experiment to find love,
so I'd be gutted to walk away without it.
I'm 100% needy of the experts.
I care very much about Anita,
but opening up about my emotional feelings
has always been a struggle for me.
My coping mechanism is to put a barrier up,
and I think that's something
that Anita's found hard to break down.
I'm not too empathetic towards her feelings maybe.
It's something I need to improve on.
Anita has compassion and patience.
I'm hoping she stays around long enough,
and we work together to build the marriage going forward.
I have no idea what Anita stands.
I have no idea if she's going to stay or leave.
What do you think about Sarah and Dean?
He hasn't said much but I know obviously she said bits to you.
Oh, she did say she got the ick.
Did she? Like, the proper ick.
That's a bit of a sad one, to be fair,
cos he's such a nice lad.
She said there's no physical attraction there for at all.
Yeah. There's nothing sexual for her.
Last night, it was harder than I thought it was going to be.
Yeah, definitely.
It's hard to see everyone as well, like, be lovey-dovey. Mm-hm.
Cos I'm the guy, like,
"Comparison is the thief of joy. I'm not going to compare."
But, yeah, there was definitely a feeling...
A lot of feelings yesterday.
You can't help that. No. I won't, but yeah.
I'd obviously said that I probably would compare.
It obviously would be the attraction thing
which is, for me, the hardest bit.
And last night was emotional at points,
so I think, yeah, today will be the same.
Last night's dinner party has given me a little bit of a wake-up call.
Mine and Dean's relationship
is not where I would have imagined it to be.
It is quite hard to see other couples
being quite all over each other,
and Dean and I aren't like that.
And I think that's making me feel very emotional.
I'm nervous about it as well,
cos it's kind of putting everything out there, innit,
and it is so intense.
It's only going to get intenser.
If we're honest, it can kind of only help.
I like Sarah. I'm optimistic she'll say stay.
There is reasons that we are matched.
We're both here to kind of try and make it work.
So yeah, I'm confident that she'll stay.
We're all wanting to get somewhere within this experiment. Yeah.
We're both where we are and we're like,
"Yeah, we need help." And that's what they're there for.
So hopefully...
I don't know what the experts could do to help get that spark.
Looking at the other couples and feeling that, like, you know,
sexual energy and sexual spark.
I mean, it was like flying through the room at one point.
I genuinely just don't know if we're going to get to it.
Today is the very first commitment ceremony
and we are so excited to start your journeys with you.
This is where the hard work begins.
It's imperative that all of you commit to being honest and open.
Honesty is the key to the success of your marriages.
You're all here to make a very important decision -
whether to stay or leave the experiment.
A couple can only leave the experiment if both write leave.
If just one person wants to stay,
then the couple must stay in the experiment
and continue to work on their marriage.
Now, Davide and Joe cannot be here today due to illness,
but for the rest of you, let's all get down to business.
Our first couple up to the couch tonight is Grace and Ashley.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Come and join us, you two.
Hello. Hello.
Why don't you take us back to the wedding day?
Grace, how did you feel leading up to the ceremony?
I don't really know what I was expecting.
I certainly didn't expect it to hit me
like a tonne of bricks that it did.
I think I just panicked.
I was, like, I was frustrated with myself
and, like, berating myself.
And I took myself on a downward spiral.
Later, there was talk of Ash's traditional values
and being an old-school gentleman
and I didn't really know what that meant.
I loved being an independent woman and I just thought,
"It's dead in the water before it even starts."
How did that feel for you, Ashley?
It was like a deer in headlights
when sort of Grace was feeling the way she was.
So that kind of made me spiral a little bit,
because I said from the very beginning
I wanted to be unapologetically me.
That's really hard to do
when you're the reason she's feeling like she is.
It's about terminology, isn't it? Yeah.
Grace hears, "Old-school gent,"
and she thinks, "I'm not a tradwife."
Yeah.
I had no idea it would even be taken that way.
So it completely kind of wiped me off my feet
because I just wasn't expecting it.
It sounds like that was quite difficult for you.
And then you went on honeymoon.
On the honeymoon, OK, so for the first couple of days,
I'm feeling upset.
Everything made me on the brink of tears.
I'm not the most touchy-feely person.
And in this moment when I was feeling so overwhelmed
and so stressed and so anxious, so vulnerable,
that not wanting to be touchy-feely...
...it became a huge deal.
And Ash, in wanting to make me feel better, is like,
"Are you OK? Are you all right?"
And I was like...
It was making me like more and more and more inside myself.
I was struggling.
Ash, how was that experience for you?
If someone's feeling down, I try and make it better.
Cos the way I flirt, I was always like,
if someone likes you, they're touching you more.
So I always thought touch was good
and, like, let them know that you like them,
but that wasn't what she wanted or needed
and I was kind of making it worse.
Grace, are you able to direct your own insight back to yourself here
on this one and see where that lack of comfort
with all the touching comes from?
I don't know anyone else like me.
I don't know anyone else
that doesn't really like the feeling of like skin on skin.
But I do function as an adult. Like, I'm a midwife.
I rub people's backs, I hold people's hands.
But this experiment...
OK.
You're doing great. Come on, you're doing really good.
...is confronting because for me it's normal.
I've always been this way.
But then, looking at everyone else finding it so easy, so natural,
you do start to feel like a bit of a freak.
And you're like...
And it's made me question, "What was I thinking?
"Why did I think I could come into this?"
What did I? Like, it makes me think, like, what a bizarre thing to do.
Or maybe it's a brave thing to do.
Yeah. OK. Thanks, Paul.
LAUGHTER
You know, we all have different levels of comfort with touch.
And I think what's important here is the two of you can start talking
about what those boundaries are.
On this point, when you both sat here on the couch,
you, Grace, you were feeling emotional.
Yeah. So Ashley literally...
I just saw him put his hand out like this,
and he went to touch you, and he was like,
"Uh-oh, I better not do this. I better not do this here."
Then he goes... It's one of those, "Oh yeah. Cool, babe."
And I felt for you in that moment.
Yeah.
But I think it's also important for you, Ashley,
to be able to say,
"I'm here for you in this moment."
Right? That's right, to do it verbally.
To do it verbally. Yeah.
I'm very verbal as a person anyway.
If I feel a certain way or I'm upset with something,
I just come straight out and say it.
So hopefully we can sort of just keep going like that.
So where would you say you guys ended up
at the end of the honeymoon compared with where you started?
Full 180.
Tell us about that.
We just agreed that we couldn't just be strangers
and then husband and wife, like, there had to be friendship first.
Then it was fun. I was cracking up. I was laughing so much.
I made a conscious effort when I did feel in a good place,
like, to try and be more affectionate.
And then I can see that she's making a big effort
and I really appreciate it.
And hopefully she sees the same with the way I'm saying things...
I do. ..and sort of that.
Yeah.
It's quite remarkable, I think, how much progress
the two of you have made.
Ashley, you're showing such patience with this woman you've just met
who's showing behaviours that you don't quite understand.
And for you, Grace, you are showing incredible bravery.
Yeah. Because you're doing things so differently
from how you've done them before.
So I think it's brilliant
that the two of you have come so far already.
I think we're going to go to a decision.
Let's start with you first, Ashley.
So I honestly feel like we've come so, so far
and I can't wait to see how far we can take this
and I'm really excited to do the rest of this experiment
and see where we go.
So I voted to stay.
Brilliant.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Good job!
And to you, Grace?
I feel really lucky
that I got partnered with someone so patient,
so tolerant, so willing to learn, so open-minded.
I'm happy to be here. And I'm glad that it's with you.
So, yeah, I'm gonna stay.
Ah.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Thank you so much.
This is a really positive journey that you've taken so far.
Keep doing what you're doing, guys. You're off to a good start.
Thank you so much. Thanks, guys. Take a seat.
Well done.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
All right, next up to the couch...
If we can have Julia-Ruth and Divarni.
Come on up.
APPLAUSE
Welcome.
Hello! Hi. Welcome. How are we doing?
Good. Good.
It is so good for you both to be here
because I have so many questions.
Can we start with the wedding?
Oh my God.
Magical. It was wild.
Best wedding ever, I'm not gonna lie. Best wedding ever.
The vibes were up there. So much fun.
It was just like, damn, this person actually exists.
I was stupid excited and I'm still excited.
Just the true beauty that I saw in her at the beginning
threw me off.
That's big. Yeah.
And then I'm laughing and I'm snorting and I'm giggling.
It was a lot of emotions. It was really great.
The energy was so good. We were vibing. Yeah.
All right, next day we go on honeymoon.
Yes. Honeymoon was?
Started off great.
Started off good?
Go on.
I think the... We arrived in Morocco and that was when it hit me.
"OK, I'm married."
So I did, like, kind of feel overwhelmed.
And I'm trying to find some joyous moments
for us to build some sort of, like, emotional connection.
Can you explain that?
The physical didn't come naturally, so I'm like,
let's build the...
We're having so much fun and we're laughing
that, like, maybe that comes that way,
but everything is really heavy and deep.
It's always intense.
Can you give an example for us? Yeah.
So we were on the camels and I asked you,
"What is your biggest fear?"
And then you spiralled
into the deepest conversation I've ever had in my life,
which was shocking.
You went on and you were like,
"It's always just been me. Always end up in these situations
"No one's ever gonna love me It's always gonna be me by myself."
It was all this dark stuff and I'm sitting there and I'm like, "Bro..."
Can I ask... Can I ask you a question, though?
Yeah.
You've just asked about his deepest fear.
Fears are dark.
I know that fear is a big word,
but I'm feeling overwhelmed by the amount of information
that is being dumped onto me continuously.
It feels like trauma dumping.
We talk about deep stuff so much.
There's inappropriate times
where I just feel like I want to have fun with you.
Divarni, in that moment,
how did you interpret what was happening?
Answering that question was very personal to me, for sure,
but it was just me opening up at that moment,
and I just expressed myself the way I needed to express myself.
Divarni, do you feel clear
when the right time is to talk in a deep way
and when to kind of have a bit of fun?
Do you feel clear in terms of what Julia-Ruth wants from you?
Sometimes when I communicate, it can go on and on and on and on.
It's just finding that balance of choosing a part of that information.
I mean, maybe I can pick it up and then feed it another time.
Right, right.
All right. Vital information missed.
Obviously, had the argument after the camels and it erupted.
Divarni's heightened and jittery and upset.
And I don't like how you handled that situation.
You don't back down, you get more intense,
and you're going at me.
And you did that last night after the dinner party, too,
and I'm like, "Whoa!"
Like, "OK, this isn't gonna work."
I needed to get things off my chest.
Would you agree, though, it was explosive?
It was a bit explosive. Yeah.
OK, so that is a major detail.
So we have two issues
of poor communication that happens on the honeymoon
and, Julia-Ruth, what you're telling me
is that there's many of these.
So, honeymoon, not so good.
You come back, you move in to the apartment.
How did you feel about your marriage
when you walked into the dinner party?
We sat down and had a conversation
and we said, "We're going to be on the same page at the dinner party."
So, like, if we're getting asked the questions by people,
"How has your time been?"
The wedding was great.
It's been good and it's been really bad.
For sure.
But I sit down and talk to people
and then when I tell them how the relationship's going,
they were like, "Oh, that's not what I've heard."
And I'm like, "What do you mean that's not what you've heard?"
It's been, "You've been really good. Like, smooth sailing."
So I was very confused
because I go around looking like a dickhead
saying that our relationship's been turbulent
and he's saying it's been a hiccup. Fine.
OK.
That's not even remotely close to what's been going on
in our relationship.
I know that obviously we went through our shit,
but I was going into the dinner party hopeful.
You know, I'm curious.
You mentioned there was an argument last night.
What happened after the dinner party?
Coming back to the apartment, I did confront her,
and I was just getting things off my chest.
You always say you're getting things off your chest
and it's not fun because you attack me.
I want us to have the space so we don't yell at each other.
And that's why I say,
"Go and breathe and come back to me when you can talk to me like a person."
You don't talk to me like a person You go at me.
You don't listen to me. I'm like, "Should I go to another room?"
And you're going at me.
OK, well, then, I'm gonna go to another room.
And you get more intense and more intense and more intense.
You get so heightened, and I can't communicate with you.
I don't like that.
You get more intense and more intense and more intense.
You get so heightened and I can't communicate with you.
I don't like that.
You know what's so interesting about you two?
You're the most hot and cold couple in this experiment.
Wedding - Oh, my gosh.
Ten... ten wedding, I can't believe it.
By the next day, it's like
I don't even know if I want to be with this person, right?
So what do you want from this relationship?
So what I want is a companion.
Someone that's very supportive.
Someone that understands me in a whole entirety.
Obviously, having fun. That's what I'm looking for.
OK. And you still want that in Julia-Ruth?
Yes. OK.
Julia-Ruth, what do you want?
I want someone who's going to go 50-50
or 60-40 at different times with me in terms of energy.
I don't mind being there for you.
I don't mind you unloading to me.
If anyone, I feel like I've got you.
Let's also enjoy each other.
I want to have that feeling of like
we're laughing so hard that the physical intimacy kicks off.
We don't have that.
And that's what I said, like, coming back to the apartment.
I'm very excited because then I can take you out on dates
and actually have those memorable moments of actually having fun.
That's why coming and moving into the apartment was a thrill.
The other thing, Divarni, too
is I think what's very important,
and I hear Julia-Ruth wanting as well,
is for you to listen.
Sometimes listening means
I'm going to take a cool-off period.
And then during that period,
reflecting upon what your partner said, what your partner feels,
what their emotion is.
So, therefore, you're coming back in a position
where you can actually resolve the conflict.
You know, I have hope.
Ultimately, you know what you both said?
You want to have someone who will support you
and I think that's the place to remain focussed on -
be each other's support. OK?
Can we go to a decision?
Divarni, why don't you take us away?
Julia-Ruth, it's been difficult.
It's been proper difficult throughout this honeymoon.
But obviously I'm here for a reason.
And I do believe in us.
So my actual decision
is for me to stay.
APPLAUSE
Um...
For me, it's tricky.
The vibes on the wedding day were unreal.
I just haven't seen you let your hair loose
and just have a fun, light-hearted conversation
and just have giggles with me and create fun memories.
I don't need everything to be picked apart and to be deep.
We do have some good moments
and I don't like spending time away from you because I miss you.
So I think I have chosen to stay.
APPLAUSE
All right. Done. Done. Thank you.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
I think it's going to take a lot of work for Divarni and I
to fix and restart or mend our relationship.
I hold on to, so dearly, the moments from the wedding.
I want to stay because I'm fighting for those moments.
I've shared how I felt
and I think it's now up to him how he processes the information.
Next up to the couch...
...Rebecca and Bailey.
APPLAUSE
Hello. Hello. Hello. Hi.
Good to see the two of you. Thank you.
Looking extremely comfortable with one another.
I'm absolutely loving this.
OK. So I'm super keen to hear about your wedding.
Kind of a roller coaster. OK.
Initial reaction turning round around - stunning.
Absolutely gorgeous.
I feel like the only thing I just couldn't catch a vibe, I feel like.
I was a bit thrown by it. Yeah. I was just...
And then throughout the day,
it kind of just followed on that path for me,
just up and down like a yo-yo.
So it sounds like you were trying to work out, "What is she feeling?"
Yeah. And, Rebecca, what was the experience like for you?
I think I had in my mind
I would get to the end of the aisle
and there would be massive sparks flying,
because that's what I'm used to.
Like, that initial big attraction.
And we didn't have that.
I know that for you it's really important to have someone
that is very much an alpha male.
And that was something that was quite difficult for you.
On the wedding day, I struggled with that
because I couldn't see like the real Bailey.
And I was like "Oh, my God, is he...?"
You know, "Am I going to eat him alive?"
And that made me go into my shell.
I was crying through the vows. I was very overwhelmed.
Take me to the honeymoon.
Did that get any better?
It changed everything.
We really, really got on.
Yeah, we started talking, laughing. Tables started turning.
I saw him for who he was, and I thought,
"Wow, I can really connect with this person."
You called me a golden retriever. Yeah.
He's got golden retriever energy.
I've got black cat energy. I'll take that.
Yeah, we match so well in that way.
So we started to have a little bit of a giggle, like, yeah,
a little bit of laugh, which I like. I can connect over.
Bailey is who he is through and through.
He doesn't put on a show or anything like that.
He's the definition of an alpha man. 100%.
He knows how to look after me
whilst allowing me to just completely be myself.
I go to the gym, I can carry my bags,
can do things for myself.
Bailey takes away anything that he can do,
while still making me feel that I'm capable.
I do like to do the little things,
like going up to the bar and getting a drink,
carrying your bags, little...
Just little things. They're only small.
But because she was super independent,
"I can do everything on my own,"
it kind of felt better when she put that trust into me
and kind of relinquished
a little bit of that independence that she has, was nice.
You say that they're small things
but it sounds like they're small things with a big meaning.
Yeah. And it's not just, like, little acts of service like that.
It's the little glances across the room.
Or like the, "Are you OK?"
And that I do it back to him, like, there is a real connection there.
Yeah.
Well, I think that helps me to kind of neatly go on
to the next question around intimacy.
So how are things going in the intimacy department?
BOTH LAUGH
Like Cheshire cats.
Um, yeah. All good. Yeah. Really good.
Yeah. Um, very well-matched in that department.
Um, so no complaints.
I can't stop smiling. Yeah.
Rebecca, do you want to help him here?
No. LAUGHS
I'm sweating here, in't I?
No, everything's good on that front. Yeah, great.
Well, I am so excited with this union,
and it's just so nice to see the physical affection
between the two of you.
The way you have each other's back.
Yeah. We're constantly laughing and joking at home.
Loads of fun. I mean, I asked for, like, a little bestie,
and that's just what I've got.
Yeah, it's a good feeling. It's... It feels secure.
So let's go to the decisions.
If we can start with you, Rebecca.
From our wedding day, this is...
I never ever, expected to be in this position now.
I think more than anything, I just love how you make me feel.
Yeah. So it's an easy one for me.
It's a stay.
APPLAUSE
Thank you, Rebecca. And, Bailey, what's your decision?
I'm really enjoying just getting to know you.
I love just spending time with you at home,
and I'm looking forward to that carrying on.
So I've decided to...
I'm upside down. ..stay.
APPLAUSE
So Rebecca and Bailey, the couple to watch.
I'm excited. Oh gosh!
Look forward to seeing you next week.
Really appreciate it. Cheers. Thank you.
APPLAUSE
Next up to the couch...
...Sarah and Dean.
Hello. Hello. Hello there.
So how are we both?
Yeah, nervous. Nervous? I'm nervous. Are you?
Yeah, I'm good. Oh, you're good? That's good. All good.
OK, so can we go to the wedding?
Mm-hm.
So the moment you saw Sarah,
what did you think?
Seeing her, I thought the energy's here and I was like...
She's a beautiful girl as well.
And I was like, "Yeah, this is good."
You would say physically attractive - check?
Yeah, yeah. Definitely. Sexually attractive?
Yeah, I guess... I thought, "I could have sex with her."
ALL LAUGH
OK.
But it's important to know
because there is a distinction between the two.
Yeah, yeah. So, OK, Sarah,
how did you feel going in to the wedding?
I was very nervous,
and I think I had envisioned in my head
who was going to be at the end of the aisle.
And what was that vision?
OK, so I'll be honest. Yeah.
Yeah. Um...
Tall.
I love tattoos, so covered in tattoos.
Probably look like they've just come out of jail,
I'm not gonna lie.
Because that was your "type"?
OK. What else?
I mean, I do also like a guy that's, like, into fitness and gym.
So, yeah. I mean, maybe...
...physical as well...
...it wasn't what I thought it was going to be.
OK.
I don't want to hurt your feelings. I'm really sorry. No, no.
Yeah, it's got to be honest, I promise.
You're not gonna hurt my feelings.
Dean, are you OK?
Literally fine. It's so good It's so good.
OK.
It was an honest start. We appreciate that.
So let's move to the honeymoon.
Yeah, it was hard. I had a, like, a wobble
cos I sing a lot and, um, I was like,
"It can get a little bit grating, yeah?"
And you was like, "Yeah, it's a bit..." Yeah.
It was just a lot of random outbursts of singing.
It was getting just a little bit...
I was like, "I'm getting... I'm getting irritated by this."
OK. Cos I don't really like showing my emotions too much.
But if you listen to the song I'm singing,
that's how I'm feeling.
So I'll be singing like a sad song.
And if you listen to the words, I'm like, that's how I'm feeling.
So are you saying that you were sad during the honeymoon?
Uh, yeah. Well, I was at a point.
We had a meal and we was talking,
and I reverted back to, like,
the little fat kid at school who's trying to fit in, you know?
I've not been that so long because I've built myself up so much.
I guess doubts, you know, started coming in
and I was like, "Oh, man, I don't... I don't like this."
And that was a real low.
And that's when I spoke to Sarah about it.
That's when I was like,
"Let's just enjoy getting to know each other."
You know what's interesting?
I think when there are painful moments,
we try to go past them quickly.
Yeah, probably, man.
You just said something
that touches upon a moment in childhood.
Yeah. Let's give that respect.
I felt like what? The fat kid, like back at school.
And what made you feel that way?
Probably feeling, like, in all honesty,
a bit of rejection.
You know? And not feeling like I was enough.
And what was it that made you feel
like you were rejected and not enough?
The physical attraction thing is something that
kind of, I guess, hits me more than I think it does.
Yeah, it put my defences up,
you know, like, that I didn't like it.
Yeah.
So when you both leave the honeymoon,
are you at all optimistic about your marriage?
I was stupid cos, like, we get on so well
and we're always having a great time,
and there's no one else I'd rather be with in this.
For me, I was like, "Yeah, this could be like..."
This could be something. Yeah. Yeah. 100%.
So were you optimistic at all, Sarah?
I was optimistic.
We have been matched for a reason and I can see why.
I think my problem is people I've dated or been with,
I've always had that initial attraction.
I've always wanted to rip their clothes off and just eat them.
Just... Do you know that feeling?
And I'm really struggling because I don't have that with Dean,
but then I've got everything else.
You wanted someone who was going to be funny.
You wanted someone who could be a support system for you.
So, Sarah, you feel as if Dean is everything that you need?
Oh, that's what I said. I said,
"I'm the husband you need, not the one you want."
And I don't want him to change. Like, I...
You know, the singing and the rapping, it did irritate me.
It did. I mean, the raps and the songs sort of stopped.
So he's receptive to modifying his behaviour?
Yeah.
So what behaviour are you modifying?
Is there any modification that you think that you need?
I don't know.
You feel like you're good?
You're doing everything appropriately?
I feel like I'm... I feel like I'm doing everything OK.
I think the communication is great.
I think the honesty is great as well.
You're giving it everything, and that's all I wanted.
Dean, what we've seen here
is you kind of rescuing Sarah in this.
That says a lot about you
in terms of the kind-hearted person that you are.
But I think at the moment,
it feels a little bit like, Dean, you're willing to modify behaviour,
you're willing to reel in the singing a little bit
and the rapping,
but what we're asking, Sara, is what are you willing to do?
What are you willing to change?
I don't know.
So I've got something for you.
Oh, God. OK.
You could begin by stopping the disrespect of your husband.
Let me take you to the dinner party.
OK.
Someone disrespects you, what are they doing?
Well, they're being rude.
They're being rude. What else? They're being mean.
Do you think that you were rude
while talking about your partner at the dinner party?
Oh, it's gonna kill him, this.
I mean, I may be sad you'd given me the ick
with some things that you'd said.
So in other words, you disrespected your husband.
I get the challenge around physical attraction,
but where you absolutely lost me
is when you went around gossiping about your husband
to other people, and you were laughing at it.
Was I? I was a joke. I didn't mean to laugh.
Well, you were. OK. And I thought,
"This man is talking about how lovely his partner is
"and you are on the other side of the room disrespecting him."
I don't think I did it that much, did I?
You know what? Disrespect... I know, I know.
...one iota of disrespect is too much.
You are on the other side of the room disrespecting him.
I don't think I did it that much, did I?
You know what? Disrespect... I know, I know.
...one iota of disrespect is too much.
I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry.
These relationships are a two-way street.
And really, what I want you to think about is -
how can I be considerate to my partner?
Yeah. There's no excuse for saying what I said yesterday
and I really apologise.
Dean, are you OK?
I was... Kind of caught me off, that.
Yeah. If I'm being real, yeah, that caught me off. Yeah, yeah.
I found yesterday really hard as well.
I'm sorry.
This couch is a very difficult place,
but it is a place
where relationships are broken or where they grow.
Now the physical and sexual attraction is significant,
but the best antidote is just to say,
how can I every day work on strengthening my relationship?
And as long as you are continuing to make progress
week after week after week,
think of where you'll be at the end.
On that note, I would like to go to a decision.
OK. And I would love to start with Dean first.
It's obviously been a proper, like, emotional time, like, together
like, hard and like we're like,
how do we get to that next stage?
Cos how can I make someone fancy me if they don't?
But I do think we have got a good base
and I'm hoping it will come now.
I'm still optimistic.
I think this could be something special, you know,
something different.
So it is a stay.
APPLAUSE
Thank you so much. Sarah.
This journey has just been so up and down.
I can see all of the reasons why we've been matched.
And I really wanted the nice guy and. I've got him
and I just really want it to work because you're such a nice guy.
So I have decided to stay.
Stay. OK.
APPLAUSE
We applaud that you're staying,
and what I would encourage you to do
is think about how every day you can develop something
that is strengthening your relationship.
Thank you. Cheers. Thank you, guys.
It was really hard to hear what Paul had to say, and I apologise.
Yeah. I'm sorry. It's not me. It's not who I am.
And maybe if I did have that spark,
I wouldn't have said anything like that, cos I wouldn't have.
But there's not the spark there.
So that's... That was the only reason why I said it.
I haven't meant it maliciously at all.
I don't want to hurt anyone.
I'm being true to myself,
but then it's coming across really badly so...
SHE SOBS
Yeah, it's been a really hard week.
Hearing that Sarah has been disrespecting me
has caught me off-guard.
That is my probably biggest red flag.
It does hurt me and I can also feel myself like dwindling my shine
and I don't want to lose me.
You OK?
From here, I think we're at a low,
but I think that's when you bounce back.
There is so much there.
Like, I'm still willing to trust and build
but it can never happen again.
Are you joking me? It can never ever, happen again.
Sarah, are you OK?
Yeah, I just... OK. Yeah. You know, I just feel bad.
We want everyone to grow, right?
And so anytime we see something, we'll call it out.
But if you ever disagree, if there's a disagreement,
hold us accountable to the disagreement as well.
OK?
Thank you.
Next up to the couch we have Keye.
Hi, Keye. Hello. Good to see you. Good to see you.
Sad to see that Davide's not here. Me too.
So how was your wedding?
The wedding was amazing.
I was incredibly nervous,
but then Davide grabbed both my hands
and said that he'd got us.
It kind of calmed me down and made me feel really grounded and safe.
Lovely. And in terms of attraction, would you say that
there was a real attraction there?
Oh, 100%. Have you seen Davide?
ALL LAUGH
We've all seen Davide!
He's got the most beautiful brown eyes
with these little orange flecks.
Like, his smile lights up an entire room.
He's just fantastic.
It sounds like you guys got off to a really brilliant start.
Yeah. So let's move on to my favourite question.
How's the intimacy in your relationship?
It's wonderful. Thank you. It's great.
Thank you. I love that response. It's great.
It feels like you practised that.
The intimacy or the response?
LAUGHTER
The two of you sound like you're in a really good place.
And it's so lovely to see the progress of this relationship.
So we know that Davide is a man of many words,
and he has very kindly written a letter for you.
Thank you. OK.
Great.
"Hey there, you beautiful human.
"I have no words to explain how amazing you are
"and how much I adore you.
"This last week I have seen us go from strength to strength.
"And I could not be more proud to have you as my husband,
"my Keye, that I'm falling for.
"I'm sorry that I'm not there to let you know in person
"how much you mean to me.
"So for sure, I'll stay as long as you want me to. Davide."
Aw!
APPLAUSE
Powerful words. Yeah, it means a lot.
It means everything. Yeah.
We know what Davide's response is to you.
What's your decision? Um...
Davide is finding ways to make me smile every single day.
I'm honestly loving absolutely every second
and can safely say I am falling for him, too.
Which no one tell him before I get a chance to.
LAUGHTER
So I will, of course, stay.
APPLAUSE
Nice, nice.
Thank you so much, Keye.
We love love, so it's so amazing
to see how well the two of you are matched.
Fabulous. Thank you so much. Good luck. Thank you. OK.
So frame that. I am framing it.
Next on the couch, if we could have...
...Leigh and Leah. Come on up.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Yeah!
Hi, ladies.
LEAH SIGHS
How are you both? Good. Phenomenal.
All right. Can we start with the wedding?
It was just a mad experience.
Yeah. It was surreal.
So what did you think when you saw Leigh?
I thought she was really cute.
And obviously she's beautiful.
I think straight away I just had this, like, thing in my head.
I was like, she's gonna be an annoying little princess.
I think cos I've seen, like, princess dress.
And then I seen she has a little bit of attitude
and I thought, "Nah, she's all right."
All right. So, Leah, what did you think?
I think it was just a bit of a shock
because it's like so far from what I would normally go for
in a romantic sense.
I never go for more feminine women.
It's not just about physical type,
like hair colour or eye colour or things like that.
I've never felt physically attracted to a girly woman.
I can appreciate their beauty.
I can say that they look stunning,
which Leah absolutely is,
but there's like a persona of a person in the gay community
that I am usually attracted to,
and Leah is not that person.
Fair enough. And that's a great explanation.
But I've realised since being in this experiment with Leah
that I've spent the last year and a bit,
since I became single,
building myself up from being really let down by someone,
and I've realised I've shut myself off
so much from when I was hurt
that I'm now struggling to turn it back on.
I'm like, I don't know how to get it going again.
Leigh, what you're telling us is that,
"Hey, I've had the door shut and it was bolted shut
"and I'm now just taking the locks off of the door."
So, challenging to start... Yeah. ..a marriage like this.
Mm-hm. All right. But now the work that you need to do is
how do you establish a stronger emotional connection?
And I think the beauty is that the result
is going to be positive no matter what.
Like, it's going to lead to a better understanding of self. Yeah.
It maybe just leads to,
"You know what, I'm now willing to open the door all the way."
Right? Mm.
But no matter what, it's going to be a win.
Yeah. I think the worry is,
like, how do we get to the next step?
This is a popular question.
How do you get out of the friend zone?
I find one of the most productive strategies
is to think about how you would behave outside of the friend zone
and just behave like that.
That's what I have actually been trying to do.
Like, I'm a little bit more...
OK, I need to be vulnerable, I need to be open.
I don't even feel like you're necessarily, like,
going through these paces, though,
cos you are just being open and vulnerable.
Yeah. You know what I mean?
I'm still trying. Like, I'm trying to be like that.
If I'm honest, I feel like
who's more willing to make this work? 100% me.
Yeah. In my opinion.
You are making more of an effort. You are being tactile.
You are doing all of these things and I'm not able to get there.
Leah, if you were not in the friend zone,
what would your relationship look like?
I think being more tactile with one another,
maybe more flirty with one another,
having a snog now and again. OK.
Everything that you've said that you need
is what I would be
if those natural feelings were there.
But I've just had a block there. It's stopping me from doing it
cos I've never wanted to feel like I'm leading Leah on.
I just don't see it as that deep.
I can have a flirt and have a snog now and again.
I don't see it that deep.
And it's never going to lead me on.
I overthink it a bit.
She overthinks. I'm not an overthinker.
At the end of the day, I would encourage you
to experiment with what the behaviour is
to be out of the friend zone.
Whatever that is, practise that.
So let's go to the decision.
Leah, you'll go first.
I feel like it has been a tough week for me this week,
but I'm optimistic and I'm very hopeful.
I see why we've been matched in so many different ways,
and I'm happy and grateful of being matched with her.
So I vote stay.
APPLAUSE
I know that I've been a little bit difficult to deal with
because my head's been a little bit all over the place.
You've been so patient
and still throwing yourself into it 100%
and being completely vulnerable with me,
even when I haven't been able to give that back to you.
And so that I'm really grateful for.
Yeah, and I am hopeful to see where it goes.
So for that reason I wrote stay.
APPLAUSE
Well done to both of you.
Stop overthinking everything.
I'm gonna try. Right? Just be in the moment.
Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Next up to the couch, if we can have Anita and Paul.
APPLAUSE
Oof! Hey, guys. Hi. Hey, hey.
Hi. How are you both?
OK, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
OK. All right. Yeah. Let's go to the wedding.
Anita, what were your thoughts?
There was a fun element straight away.
We kind of laughed nearly all day, didn't we?
Yeah. Yeah, it was a good day.
All right.
Paul, how was the day for you?
It was excitement, then laughter.
Conversation was very easy.
After talking for a while,
I thought there was potential to build.
I thought, "OK, now it begins."
Now it begins.
All right, so you're looking forward to the honeymoon?
Yeah. I thought we could build from the wedding day.
Anita, are you looking forward to the honeymoon?
Yeah, because he is a fun guy to be around.
He did make me laugh nearly all day.
So, yeah, going forward, I knew we could have a good time.
So as we go into the honeymoon,
you begin to investigate shared values,
shared outlook on life.
What did you notice that the two of you shared?
So much. So much? OK. Like what?
We've got the same values.
Same values? Yeah. Family orientated.
OK. Same morals. All right.
It feels like things are good.
The outside stuff matched us perfectly,
but when it comes to the inner deep stuff,
the emotional and the attraction,
we couldn't be so far apart on the scale.
Paul's a good talker, but when you pin him down to talk,
he deviates around the relationship side.
So are you really saying
Paul wasn't emotionally connecting with you?
No connection, no emotional connection.
No communication.
Yeah, just miles apart.
OK, OK.
To be fair, I didn't really give Anita
anything emotional to grip on to.
All my other barriers are down. Right.
All my cards are on the table.
And I think Anita knows that. And she saw them.
I struggle to open up emotionally. It's hard for me.
Paul, when you and I met on a one-to-one,
I felt like you were quite open.
So I'm wondering,
was there something that you needed in this interaction
to made you feel a little bit more able to open up?
I can interact all day. I can talk to you all day.
When it comes to affairs of the heart with the opposite sex
in a relationship, I'm a different beast.
That's when it feels a bit difficult to do?
It feels extremely awkward and difficult, yeah.
It sounds like on the honeymoon, Anita, you were observing Paul
in terms of his emotional availability.
You have placed him in this box,
but it sounds like you've permanently placed him in the box
because everyone can become emotionally available.
Did you feel like
because he's not bringing that to the table now,
I want nothing to do with him?
No. I put him in that box
because he said he wasn't in that headspace to be available.
He's on a self-discovery journey and I'm on a love journey.
So until he's discovered himself
and found out what he actually really needs in his life...
Are those two mutually exclusive?
They're on different paths.
Are they, Anita?
I have no idea.
What we're saying is that the two can exist together,
so you can be on a journey to find love
and you can also find yourself on that journey as well.
Yeah. OK. All right.
Honeymoon is done.
Yep. You move into the apartments.
Ish.
Ish?
For about ten minutes. What happened?
Went into the apartments, and I just thought,
"I just don't know if I can do this."
The thing that tipped me over the edge,
it was like a make or break thing in my head.
It was just like, "Paul, what's the name of my two children?"
And he just went...
That was the communication thing.
And the lack of interest in me was kind of like, well...
SHE SCOFFS
And was that because Paul hadn't asked you
the names of your children?
I've spoke about my children. I've actually said their names.
Right. The grandchildren as well, I've spoke about them.
So you felt like Paul just wasn't listening to you,
and because he wasn't listening, he wasn't truly interested in you?
Yeah. OK.
In my brain, there's no real point of pursuing it.
OK. It's interesting.
So, Paul, what's your take?
I have my children's tattooed names
and dates of birth on my arm for a reason,
cos I can't remember nothing.
I talk constantly and I put all my cards on the table
cos that's how I operate.
I volunteer the information.
How Anita operates is she likes to be asked the information.
So...
At the end of the day, why are you here?
To find love.
Well, what does that mean to you?
A partner in crime.
Somebody to walk alongside us.
Still be holding hands when we're 80.
Somebody who's there for you.
Now, Paul, what do you want?
Invariably, I want to find a partner, I want to find love.
I want to cry with somebody. Laugh with someone.
So how is what you just said, Paul, and what you just said, Anita,
different in terms of what you're looking for?
Or is it the same?
I want love.
Is what you described what Paul just described?
Yeah. OK, so what's the problem?
Ultimately, you both said
you want to have someone who will support you.
And I think that's the place to remain focussed on
is be each other's support.
Can we go to a decision?
Anita.
Paul's a lovely man.
He's the gentleman I asked for,
who he really is attentive.
I'm totally seeing why you matched us up...
...but I still feel that I'm missing something.
So for that reason...
...I wrote leave.
I'm missing something.
So for that reason...
...I wrote leave.
So, Paul?
Um...
For me, it's about building that trust and respect,
building that emotional bond.
I'm sorry it wasn't happening at the start.
I do apologise for that.
I feel a little bit inadequate that I didn't provide that.
That's alright.
But it's the start of the journey. I'm going to stay.
CHEERING
Yes, Paul!
So if one person writes stay,
then the couple must stay
and continue to work on their relationship.
Now let me give you my opinion.
The miscommunication is in the listening
and the asking of the questions.
If those are done, this relationship becomes stronger.
So are you prepared to give this a go?
Yep.
SMALL CHEER
APPLAUSE
Paul, are you prepared to give this a go?
Yes.
CHEERING
SHE EXHALES
Paul, clearly, you have homework to do here.
Yep. And, Anita, if you think about
what can you be doing to strengthen the relationship.
Thank you, both. Thank you. Thanks very much.
Thank you, guys. Thank you.
I wrote leave because what's the point in wasting time?
I'm hoping that Paul takes the expert's advice
and he has listened this time.
Doesn't listen much to me, so hopefully he has a light bulb moment
and thinks, "Yeah, I've got to try opening up."
Rejection is a very difficult thing to cope with.
A little bit disappointed that she doesn't want to try.
It's only been eight days. Really?
I'm hoping Anita can look at the differences we've got
and work together to build the marriage going forward.
Next up to the couch...
...we have Maeve.
CHEERING
Hiya. Hi, Maeve. You all right? Yeah.
Lovely to see you. How are you?
Of course, Joe's not feeling very well,
so we're just really keen to know
how the whole process has been for you.
So take me back to the wedding.
What were your first impressions of Joe?
I was a little bit intimidated.
Like, I couldn't make eye contact with him.
He was looking at me, and I was just like...
Like, I couldn't look at him.
What do you think was going on there for you?
He's very good looking and I'm just thinking, like,
"Oh, my God, he's not going to find me attractive whatsoever."
Feels was quite sad to hear you say that.
Because I've always got that self doubt about us,
do you know what I mean?
Cos I always go on like I'm loud and confident,
but I am quite, like, shy inside.
And when I saw him I thought, "Nah, he's not gonna like us."
Sounded like you felt a bit intimidated when you saw Joe.
Yeah.
And then you went on honeymoon?
Yeah. What happened?
I argued with him, and he said something,
and I took it out of context completely.
I could feel myself getting angry with him,
and I had to take myself out of the situation
because I thought, "I don't want to be angry at you."
Do you think because you felt quite intimidated
that made you think, "OK, let me kind of ruffle feathers here?"
Yeah. I could feel myself bubbling up, thinking,
"I'm gonna kick off. I'm gonna kick off."
So you felt quite triggered in that moment? Mm-hm.
OK. I could feel myself liking him
and I was thinking,
"I don't want to go through the heartache again.
"I don't want to go through the shit times again."
I can't do it. I can't, I can't...
Like, I'm trying to be vulnerable but I really struggle doing that.
I don't want people to see that side.
And how did you resolve the argument with Joe?
You know, when I said I want someone to speak to us softly,
like, when I'm having bad moments, that's exactly what he did.
My heart...
Aw!
And, like, I'm just so grateful that that's what he did,
cos I know I'm not an easy person to be around when I'm like that.
He's so nice. There's so much more to him than what he looks like
He's absolutely incredible.
Yeah. I was getting in my head.
I was thinking, "Oh, my God, I like him. I like him.
"What am I going to do here?"
I don't want to be nasty to him.
I'm feeling too much in my head
because I struggle liking people.
Because you feel that, what?
I don't know, I just feel like it's always going to end bad.
I think he's too good for me.
I mean, it's quite heartbreaking to hear you say that.
Yeah. That you feel he's too good for you.
Well, he is.
No. No, he's not. No...
OVERLAPPING CHATTER
He adores her so much.
Maybe there might be things that Joe could do differently
to help you to feel more secure.
He doesn't do anything wrong. You know what I mean?
So Joe's perfect?
I'm not... No one's perfect.
If you do nothing wrong, you're perfect.
Well, he's... Oh, I don't...
Well, he's perfect to me so far.
OK, but now let's talk about your part in this.
Because you, Maeve, are the classic self sabotager.
But that comes from having low self-worth.
Low self-worth comes from lots of places
but in particular from horrible relationships
where we have been trounced on
time and time again.
And then you look at yourself and you say, "You know what,
"I'm not worthy to have a great relationship."
And we also place people on pedestals
and that's what you're doing.
You're saying, "I'm not worthy to be with someone that perfect."
You need to love on yourself more.
SHE SCOFFS
You do.
What do you do to love on yourself?
I don't know. Nothing.
Everyone's on a path here.
And so what I hope for you in this path
is that you find your self-worth.
This is more important than your relationship with Joe.
You understand this? Yeah.
OK.
Let's go to the decisions, Maeve.
Oh.
I've had a bit of a roller coaster of emotions,
like, with this journey,
and I've been vulnerable as much as I can be,
but obviously I want to be a bit more vulnerable
and I want to give myself a little bit more self-love.
That's the main one.
So what I have decided is that I'm gonna stay.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
So hold on, hold on. Wait.
Joe obviously can't be here,
but he has let us know his decision.
And I can tell you he has decided to stay.
That's good.
Well, Maeve, I hope you grow to love yourself as much as we all love you.
Right, can I go now? You can now.
Thanks, Maeve.
APPLAUSE
Imagine if the fucker said leave.
THEY GIGGLE
Next on the couch, Nelly and Steven.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Hi. Hello. Hello, hello.
Welcome. Lovely to see the two of you.
Lovely to see you. So let's start from the beginning.
How was your wedding?
Wedding was amazing. Yeah?
Couldn't have asked for a better day, to be honest.
I was a little bit concerned when I turned around
and saw six guys walking towards me.
I thought, "Hang on, where's the wife?"
Um... But yeah, once I saw her being carried
in on a dolly and saw her face, my first word was just, "Wow."
Yeah, that was nice. Just like a portrait.
Oh, my God. Like, this is going to be my wife.
Like, this is the person I'm going to say "I do" to and give my all to.
So yeah, I was really in that moment, then.
That's when I was like, "OK, I'm ready."
And, Nelly, what was your experience?
As soon as I saw Steven, I just felt really calm.
I just got a really nice vibe from him.
For me, it was really important
that my partner would value family a lot
because I'm really close to mine.
So that was amazing to see.
Yeah. It was really, really special. It was really nice.
Sounding absolutely amazing.
I'm very hopeful that you're going to say the same thing
about the honeymoon. Were sparks still flying?
Yeah. We had such an amazing time. Yeah.
And where did you go? To Jamaica.
We just literally just felt that whole Jamaican aura.
We didn't bicker and just got on so well.
We laughed a lot. Yeah, we just had a really good time.
We get on, we have a similar sense of humour,
we are really playful with each other.
It's exactly what I wanted.
But I always just think, like,
well, when's something going to go wrong?
It sounds like there's a part of you that's thinking
this is too good to be true.
Yeah. Exactly that.
Kind of waiting for something to happen,
and it freaks me out a little bit that it hasn't.
Why aren't we arguing? Why haven't you irritated me?
Why haven't I irritated you?
I end up trying to look for something.
So, for example,
I love how affectionate you were on our honeymoon.
Like... Yeah. And then I'd come back to the apartment,
and I would kind of think,
"He's not given me a kiss this morning."
And then I get in my head and think,
"Yeah, it's cos he doesn't like you."
And then he will give me a kiss and I think,
"Oh, that was nice. He does like me."
And it's just constant.
And I even feel saying this now, I'm thinking
"Oh, my God. This is going to give him the ick
"and it's going to push him away."
It's just constant.
And I even feel saying this now I'm thinking,
"Oh, my God. This is going to give him the ick
"and it's going to push him away."
Do you know why you do that? No.
Your last three relationships, how did those end?
They all cheated on me. Right.
So they betrayed your trust.
Whenever our trust is betrayed over and over again,
we develop what's called a hypervigilance for red flags.
Because you have to learn to protect yourself. OK.
So you now are in this mode of self-protection.
But you know what the problem is
when you're just looking for red flags?
You don't see the green ones.
You miss all the beautiful green ones. Yeah.
And so the best advice I can give on this
is become hypervigilant about green flags.
OK. Retrain your brain.
And that's how you do it.
Obviously on the reassurance,
that comes a little bit harder for me.
I get frustrated myself cos I know I should give a lot more.
Exactly. Yeah. I was going to say this.
You have to actually say it,
and it's very important for you to be consistent.
And what you know is that you do have to reassure
and you have to do that consistently.
And, Nelly, at the dinner party yesterday,
we saw you get quite emotional... Yeah.
...when it came to the honesty box
and you worrying about being too much.
I just kind of worry that if I show too much emotion...
In my last relationship, I would be too emotional sometimes.
Or if I get tearful, it was,
"Oh, for God's sake, you're crying again."
Sometimes I think I shouldn't give those emotions
cos what if that happens again?
And then, yeah, the tears kept leaking from my face.
I really applaud the fact that you did that,
and I could see that wasn't an easy thing for you to do.
I would like to also say, though,
that it is really important for you to be kinder to yourself,
and I would encourage you to acknowledge that, actually,
it's all right to show emotion.
It says a lot more about your ex-partners
that they weren't able to hold that.
What I'm seeing here is that Steven can.
He can be there for you. And. we're seeing that right now.
Yeah.
I feel it.
I do. Thank you.
Sorry. Tell me. What are you like?
Trying to poke you in the eye.
APPLAUSE
Steven, how was it for you to hear Nelly be so vulnerable yesterday?
In a weird sense, it's pleasing.
Obviously, I never want to see the person I'm with, like, cry.
It shows that she cares.
It shows that she's willing to be vulnerable.
But I've kept little memories and little moments to then
on those random days where maybe she's feeling
a little bit too much in her head
to be like, "Well, look, here's what this week's meant to me.
"Here's our week in a small little bag."
The reassurance I'll give, I like to do it through action
and not purely through words all the time.
She walked in the other day
and I had a little bit and I thought,
picked her up, gave her a kiss and sort of...
Tackled me to the floor, but I loved it. That's what I want.
It's fun. It's playful. I want stuff like that.
You two sound like you're falling for each other.
You can definitely say you're on the path for that
cos there's been nothing wrong.
So you're on the path? Yeah, you're on the path. Yeah. 100%
I am. I'm just gonna have to say it.
I probably would say I feel like I'm a little bit more ahead of Steven.
And I'll agree to that, cos she's allowed herself to be vulnerable.
So she's taken those extra couple of steps.
I haven't yet. So until I make that step and jump ahead,
then we can start walking, like, hand-in-hand again.
SHE LAUGHS
Can we go to a decision?
Well, I am really grateful to have been matched
with you in this process and I love being around you.
I am looking forward to doing this journey with you,
and I really want to know a little bit more about you.
Um, so I put stay.
Stay.
APPLAUSE
And, Steven what's, your decision?
It's leading in the right direction for me
and I'm saying I'm fully committed to opening up a little bit more.
But, yeah, I'm fully in.
I've been fully in since I see you in that dolly.
So, yeah, for me, it's 100% stay
with a little smiley face.
I put smiley as well. See?
I think the two of you are just made for each other.
I'm so excited to see where this goes,
and we wish you all the best for the rest of the week.
Thank you. I appreciate that. Yeah, thank you so much.
Thank you. Woo!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
I'm really glad that, actually, Paul highlighted what I'm doing
because I knew I was doing it,
but I didn't know how to stop it.
Thank you.
100% I'm going to be focusing on the green flags more.
I feel better. Yeah, I feel more reassured already.
Next time...
Hello.
...it's experts week.
Do I have permission to remove your robe?
While some couples lean into physical intimacy...
Oh! I hope you know where the key is for that.
...Anita's patience with Paul wears even thinner.
Surely you should know what you want by now.
Are you expecting me to be fully committed after two weeks?
I need to know where this relationship's going.
No, I'm not hanging around.
And an unwanted interference in one couple's marriage...
Other people don't need to know my shit,
cos you'll see a side of me which you probably won't like.
I'm not having you say that
I was trying to come between your relationship. I'm not.
Couldn't give a flying fuck, if I'm completely honest.
I'm here for my relationship.
...causes two husbands to collide.
Telling people just basically fuck off.
You're not part of this relationship, so see yourself out.
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