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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:03,990 This programme contains strong language and adult themes. 2 00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:05,830 We're so cute. Previously... I'm home! 3 00:00:05,840 --> 00:00:08,830 ...our newlyweds took the next step into married life. 4 00:00:08,840 --> 00:00:10,070 Ah! 5 00:00:10,080 --> 00:00:12,350 But for some, domestic harmony... 6 00:00:12,360 --> 00:00:15,870 I won't be living in this apartment. I need some time out. 7 00:00:15,880 --> 00:00:17,280 ...was short-lived. 8 00:00:20,080 --> 00:00:22,830 It was the first dinner party of the experiment. 9 00:00:22,840 --> 00:00:24,630 Here we are on this mad experiment 10 00:00:24,640 --> 00:00:26,510 Seeing things not in our element! 11 00:00:26,520 --> 00:00:29,390 Sarah shared her unfiltered opinions on Dean. 12 00:00:29,400 --> 00:00:31,790 He asked me if I'd ever slept with anyone fat before. 13 00:00:31,800 --> 00:00:32,880 He's like a Care Bear. 14 00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:36,670 Sarah's already entered the zone of being disrespectful 15 00:00:36,680 --> 00:00:38,550 and that's something that needs to end. 16 00:00:38,560 --> 00:00:40,270 And for Julia-Ruth and Divarni... 17 00:00:40,280 --> 00:00:41,990 The spark is definitely there. 18 00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:43,830 We're literally like yin and yang. 19 00:00:43,840 --> 00:00:45,870 ...conflicting accounts of the honeymoon... 20 00:00:45,880 --> 00:00:48,070 He said how amazing it was. 21 00:00:48,080 --> 00:00:49,510 On what planet? 22 00:00:49,520 --> 00:00:51,670 ...left their marriage hanging by a thread. 23 00:00:51,680 --> 00:00:53,230 The honeymoon was not easy. 24 00:00:53,240 --> 00:00:55,990 They've heard a different story. 25 00:00:56,000 --> 00:00:58,200 It makes no sense. 26 00:01:00,120 --> 00:01:02,190 SHE SOBS 27 00:01:02,200 --> 00:01:03,550 Tonight... 28 00:01:03,560 --> 00:01:05,590 It's the very first commitment ceremony. 29 00:01:05,600 --> 00:01:08,110 ...it's time for the couples to face the experts. 30 00:01:08,120 --> 00:01:10,670 Can't communicate with you and you don't listen. 31 00:01:10,680 --> 00:01:11,870 You don't back down. 32 00:01:11,880 --> 00:01:13,270 It's been difficult. 33 00:01:13,280 --> 00:01:14,630 It's been proper difficult. 34 00:01:14,640 --> 00:01:15,870 This isn't going to work. 35 00:01:15,880 --> 00:01:18,550 Tension builds as two couples clash. 36 00:01:18,560 --> 00:01:21,550 No emotional connection, no communication. 37 00:01:21,560 --> 00:01:24,430 I thought we could build from the wedding day. 38 00:01:24,440 --> 00:01:26,560 We're just miles apart. 39 00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:29,870 And Sarah's badmouthing... 40 00:01:29,880 --> 00:01:33,470 Do you think that you were rude while talking about your partner? 41 00:01:33,480 --> 00:01:34,910 ...catches up with her. 42 00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:38,350 This man is talking about how lovely his partner is, 43 00:01:38,360 --> 00:01:40,710 and you are on the other side of the room 44 00:01:40,720 --> 00:01:42,000 disrespecting him. 45 00:01:43,080 --> 00:01:45,030 It's not me. It's not who I am. 46 00:01:45,040 --> 00:01:46,520 SOBS 47 00:01:56,480 --> 00:01:58,600 {\an8}That was good. Right, now get the other one in. 48 00:02:00,880 --> 00:02:02,310 Other one. Oh! 49 00:02:02,320 --> 00:02:03,710 No. Right, put 'em down though, 50 00:02:03,720 --> 00:02:05,840 cos we're all gonna be BLEEP orange juice. 51 00:02:09,760 --> 00:02:11,350 Can I have this piece of toast? 52 00:02:11,360 --> 00:02:12,910 That one's a bit buttery. 53 00:02:12,920 --> 00:02:14,400 Cholesterol for breakfast. 54 00:02:21,680 --> 00:02:23,630 Yesterday was a lot, wasn't it? It was a lot. 55 00:02:23,640 --> 00:02:26,350 Yeah. Fun though. Yeah, we had a really good time. 56 00:02:26,360 --> 00:02:29,750 I felt really confident with you even before we saw everybody else. 57 00:02:29,760 --> 00:02:31,110 But then when we did see everyone else 58 00:02:31,120 --> 00:02:32,670 and we saw where they were at, I was like, 59 00:02:32,680 --> 00:02:34,190 "Oh, actually, we are super strong." 60 00:02:34,200 --> 00:02:35,830 Yeah, it's a nice feeling, isn't it? 61 00:02:35,840 --> 00:02:37,910 I loved walking into the dinner party with Bec. 62 00:02:37,920 --> 00:02:41,030 I love showing her off and I walked in with a big smile on my face. 63 00:02:41,040 --> 00:02:43,270 Bailey and I are really good. We're happy. 64 00:02:43,280 --> 00:02:45,790 We have gone from strength to strength every day. 65 00:02:45,800 --> 00:02:48,470 We're very tactile. Intimacy is great. 66 00:02:48,480 --> 00:02:49,750 The spark for us is flying. 67 00:02:49,760 --> 00:02:52,070 So we're going into the commitment ceremony 68 00:02:52,080 --> 00:02:53,680 in a really strong position. 69 00:02:57,240 --> 00:02:59,750 The vibe this morning is a little bit tense. 70 00:02:59,760 --> 00:03:01,390 After last night's dinner party, 71 00:03:01,400 --> 00:03:03,270 Divarni and I spent the night separately. 72 00:03:03,280 --> 00:03:06,230 We had an argument. 73 00:03:06,240 --> 00:03:10,030 Compared to other couples, I knew that we were struggling. 74 00:03:10,040 --> 00:03:12,830 It felt like, again, we were on different pages. 75 00:03:12,840 --> 00:03:14,710 He was trying to just paint a picture 76 00:03:14,720 --> 00:03:16,550 so no one could see what was going on. 77 00:03:16,560 --> 00:03:19,030 He's saying it's BLEEP daisies 78 00:03:19,040 --> 00:03:23,110 It wasn't the best feeling to know that my wife was upset. 79 00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:27,750 How I articulated our issues was a little bit sugar-coated. 80 00:03:27,760 --> 00:03:29,470 I can admit that. 81 00:03:29,480 --> 00:03:32,920 But that's what I chose to do because obviously we're a team. 82 00:03:38,960 --> 00:03:40,270 Thank you. 83 00:03:40,280 --> 00:03:41,950 So here we are. 84 00:03:41,960 --> 00:03:43,630 Last night was intense, wasn't it? 85 00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:46,230 Mm. Yeah, I'm sorry about the crying. 86 00:03:46,240 --> 00:03:47,880 I wasn't planning on doing that. 87 00:03:49,760 --> 00:03:52,910 I got upset at the dinner party yesterday from the honesty box. 88 00:03:52,920 --> 00:03:55,270 I feel a little bit embarrassed. 89 00:03:55,280 --> 00:03:58,230 Nelly, can you see yourself falling for me? 90 00:03:58,240 --> 00:04:00,200 It's very hard for me to say. 91 00:04:01,840 --> 00:04:03,390 Yeah. That's fine. Yeah. 92 00:04:03,400 --> 00:04:07,990 Why is it so hard for you to talk about falling for somebody? 93 00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:11,190 I think I'm so afraid of, um... 94 00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:15,310 ...being so emotionally open and vulnerable to someone. 95 00:04:15,320 --> 00:04:17,470 Like, thinking that they know who I am and think, 96 00:04:17,480 --> 00:04:19,440 "You know what, I'm not into her." 97 00:04:20,800 --> 00:04:22,630 And then they break my heart. 98 00:04:22,640 --> 00:04:24,960 I can't with it anymore, it's too much. 99 00:04:27,800 --> 00:04:29,910 Just a lot for week one. Yeah, of course it is. 100 00:04:29,920 --> 00:04:31,590 It's like, when that honesty box comes out, 101 00:04:31,600 --> 00:04:33,630 we all know what that entails. 102 00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:37,840 So very courageous of you to show that emotion and say what you said. 103 00:04:39,240 --> 00:04:40,830 Steven's doing all the right things, 104 00:04:40,840 --> 00:04:43,030 but I still keep getting into my own head thinking, 105 00:04:43,040 --> 00:04:45,390 "Well, does he like you? Are you sure about that?" 106 00:04:45,400 --> 00:04:48,030 I don't want to scare him off or give him the ick. 107 00:04:48,040 --> 00:04:49,430 And I will convince myself 108 00:04:49,440 --> 00:04:51,430 if he doesn't hold my hand for long enough, 109 00:04:51,440 --> 00:04:52,830 it's because he's not into me. 110 00:04:52,840 --> 00:04:55,390 Even though the poor guy probably just wants his arm back. 111 00:04:55,400 --> 00:04:57,470 He's clearly telling me he's being truthful. 112 00:04:57,480 --> 00:04:58,840 Why can't I believe it? 113 00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:03,150 Looking forward to seeing the experts today? 114 00:05:03,160 --> 00:05:04,830 Do you think you're going to get emotional? 115 00:05:04,840 --> 00:05:06,680 Me? I don't get emotional. 116 00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:10,830 What if they poke you in all the right places? 117 00:05:10,840 --> 00:05:12,510 It hasn't happened for a while so... 118 00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:13,830 HE CHUCKLES 119 00:05:13,840 --> 00:05:15,390 THEY LAUGH 120 00:05:15,400 --> 00:05:18,190 Grace and I, I feel, are in a really good place. 121 00:05:18,200 --> 00:05:20,630 We're quite, quite stable at the moment, 122 00:05:20,640 --> 00:05:22,470 so I'm quite happy with where I am. 123 00:05:22,480 --> 00:05:25,270 Is there anything you're looking to talk to the experts about? 124 00:05:25,280 --> 00:05:27,510 I feel like they might... I think it could be confronting. 125 00:05:27,520 --> 00:05:28,550 I'm scared. 126 00:05:28,560 --> 00:05:30,630 I wasn't myself on honeymoon, 127 00:05:30,640 --> 00:05:32,960 and it's all been so overwhelming and so hard. 128 00:05:35,720 --> 00:05:37,550 I don't want to do this. Sorry. 129 00:05:37,560 --> 00:05:39,080 On their wedding day... 130 00:05:45,960 --> 00:05:48,710 ...Grace struggled to find a connection with Ashley. 131 00:05:48,720 --> 00:05:52,750 I was raised like men are the breadwinners. 132 00:05:52,760 --> 00:05:54,470 Old-school morals, basically. 133 00:05:54,480 --> 00:05:56,310 Yeah... 134 00:05:56,320 --> 00:05:59,270 And the honeymoon brought her walls up even higher. 135 00:05:59,280 --> 00:06:00,440 OK. Is that enough now? 136 00:06:02,480 --> 00:06:03,830 Yikes. 137 00:06:03,840 --> 00:06:05,830 Oh, I'm not really feeling it. 138 00:06:05,840 --> 00:06:07,830 I feel like everything I'm doing is wrong 139 00:06:07,840 --> 00:06:09,430 and I don't know why. 140 00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:13,870 In an effort to turn things around, Grace finally opened up to Ashley. 141 00:06:13,880 --> 00:06:16,030 I just want to explain the physical touch thing 142 00:06:16,040 --> 00:06:18,870 because I feel like maybe I'm making it seem like it's you. 143 00:06:18,880 --> 00:06:20,870 I've been this way since I was a kid. 144 00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:22,830 It's a sensation that I don't like. 145 00:06:22,840 --> 00:06:24,390 It's like skin... 146 00:06:24,400 --> 00:06:27,390 Yeah. ..but it's especially bad when I'm a bit stressed 147 00:06:27,400 --> 00:06:28,790 and with people I don't know. 148 00:06:28,800 --> 00:06:30,630 I don't mean to project it onto you. 149 00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:32,870 I just hope I don't get upset. 150 00:06:32,880 --> 00:06:35,470 If you do feel emotional, what is it that I'm supposed to do? 151 00:06:35,480 --> 00:06:38,190 Cos my natural reaction would be to give you a hug if you're emotional, 152 00:06:38,200 --> 00:06:39,390 but you obviously don't... 153 00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:41,190 You're not going to want that. So what is it I do? 154 00:06:41,200 --> 00:06:43,870 I might want that. I don't know. Let's just see. 155 00:06:43,880 --> 00:06:45,320 Let's just cross that bridge. 156 00:06:46,520 --> 00:06:48,990 I am nervous about seeing the experts. 157 00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:51,430 Obviously, they're going to shine a light on all the things that, 158 00:06:51,440 --> 00:06:54,110 you know, sometimes I avoid talking about. 159 00:06:54,120 --> 00:06:57,030 The touching, the PDA, all of that... 160 00:06:57,040 --> 00:06:58,750 I'm the problem. 161 00:06:58,760 --> 00:07:00,510 That's how I feel, actually. 162 00:07:00,520 --> 00:07:01,880 So that's maybe why I'm nervous. 163 00:07:07,080 --> 00:07:09,390 I'm so sorry you feel sick. 164 00:07:09,400 --> 00:07:12,790 Davide is feeling really unwell. He's so achy. 165 00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:15,590 That poor man has got no energy whatsoever. 166 00:07:15,600 --> 00:07:18,990 How are you feeling about seeing the experts tonight by yourself? 167 00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:20,990 Overall, I'm terrified about going by myself 168 00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:22,520 and I don't want to go. 169 00:07:23,640 --> 00:07:26,790 I'm sure you're gonna be fine. Yeah, I got this. Don't worry. 170 00:07:26,800 --> 00:07:30,390 But drink the honey and lemon ginger tea when it's hot. 171 00:07:30,400 --> 00:07:32,430 It does nothing now it's cold. 172 00:07:32,440 --> 00:07:33,550 A little bit worried 173 00:07:33,560 --> 00:07:35,790 about walking into my first ceremony without him, 174 00:07:35,800 --> 00:07:37,920 but I think we're really strong, so it should be fine. 175 00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:43,710 First commitment ceremony today. 176 00:07:43,720 --> 00:07:45,190 What do you think they're gonna say to us? 177 00:07:45,200 --> 00:07:46,510 I don't really know. 178 00:07:46,520 --> 00:07:48,870 From here, shit gets deeper, doesn't it? 179 00:07:48,880 --> 00:07:51,430 I want the experts to tell us where we're going wrong. 180 00:07:51,440 --> 00:07:54,270 We're just not there yet, in terms of the romantic connection. 181 00:07:54,280 --> 00:07:56,790 It's more than friends, but at the same time, 182 00:07:56,800 --> 00:07:58,910 she doesn't want to rip my clothes off. 183 00:07:58,920 --> 00:08:01,070 I said, "You just need to let your wall down a little bit more." 184 00:08:01,080 --> 00:08:02,190 Like, I'm trying. 185 00:08:02,200 --> 00:08:04,790 I'm being way more open and vulnerable than I ever would 186 00:08:04,800 --> 00:08:06,310 in any situation. 187 00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:08,470 The thing is, mine's not by choice. 188 00:08:08,480 --> 00:08:10,990 That vulnerability or, like, moving to that next stage with you 189 00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:12,630 is just not coming naturally. 190 00:08:12,640 --> 00:08:15,750 And it's not like something that I'm choosing to do, 191 00:08:15,760 --> 00:08:17,470 and it sounds so shallow. 192 00:08:17,480 --> 00:08:19,350 I think this whole narrative of like, 193 00:08:19,360 --> 00:08:20,990 oh, you're not my typical type 194 00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:22,750 so like I'm struggling to feel the romance. 195 00:08:22,760 --> 00:08:23,790 It's not just about, like, 196 00:08:23,800 --> 00:08:25,670 you don't have an undercut, you know what I mean? 197 00:08:25,680 --> 00:08:27,510 Me having my walls up isn't by choice. 198 00:08:27,520 --> 00:08:29,470 Like, it's not something I'm in control of. 199 00:08:29,480 --> 00:08:33,670 Like, I feel like I'm blocked off and I can't unblock. 200 00:08:33,680 --> 00:08:36,390 It's just, like, how do I let these walls down? 201 00:08:36,400 --> 00:08:37,830 But at the same time, 202 00:08:37,840 --> 00:08:41,240 I think I'm more willing to try and get the wall down. 203 00:08:42,360 --> 00:08:44,390 There's a big decision to make today. 204 00:08:44,400 --> 00:08:46,350 I'm trying to be open and vulnerable, 205 00:08:46,360 --> 00:08:48,470 but I've had my walls up for so long, it's going to be 206 00:08:48,480 --> 00:08:50,670 really hard to change and let my guard down. 207 00:08:50,680 --> 00:08:54,470 I'm trying to, like, give it my all and be completely open. 208 00:08:54,480 --> 00:08:56,670 And initially, that attraction wasn't there. 209 00:08:56,680 --> 00:08:59,950 So I'm intrigued to see what the experts advice is 210 00:08:59,960 --> 00:09:03,720 and what they think is beneficial for us to do moving forward. 211 00:09:06,080 --> 00:09:07,110 JOE COUGHS 212 00:09:07,120 --> 00:09:08,830 Are you still feeling shit? 213 00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:11,350 Yeah, I feel terrible, to be honest. I feel like crap. 214 00:09:11,360 --> 00:09:13,990 Joe was feeling poorly, so I don't know 215 00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:16,950 if he's going to be able to attend the commitment ceremony. 216 00:09:16,960 --> 00:09:18,430 I'm nervous, you know. 217 00:09:18,440 --> 00:09:21,150 Obviously, like, it's a commitment ceremony 218 00:09:21,160 --> 00:09:22,590 and I hate feelings, 219 00:09:22,600 --> 00:09:24,550 so I'm guessing we're going to be talking about 220 00:09:24,560 --> 00:09:26,070 how we feel about each other. 221 00:09:26,080 --> 00:09:31,110 Joe was expressing some feelings towards us at the dinner party. 222 00:09:31,120 --> 00:09:32,710 I feel exactly the same way. 223 00:09:32,720 --> 00:09:34,390 I'm just not very good at showing it. 224 00:09:34,400 --> 00:09:37,790 But I'm obviously going to tell the experts that I really like Joe 225 00:09:37,800 --> 00:09:40,360 because I can't stop smiling when I talk about him. 226 00:09:44,400 --> 00:09:46,270 Feeling a little bit disappointed. 227 00:09:46,280 --> 00:09:49,550 I came away from the dinner party feeling the same about Paul 228 00:09:49,560 --> 00:09:51,190 as I did going in. 229 00:09:51,200 --> 00:09:52,630 I agree with Rebecca 230 00:09:52,640 --> 00:09:56,190 saying that Paul and I was one of the weakest couples. 231 00:09:56,200 --> 00:09:59,080 I'm struggling with the emotional connection. 232 00:10:00,560 --> 00:10:03,430 Whatever decision I make today is very important. 233 00:10:03,440 --> 00:10:06,470 I entered this experiment to find love, 234 00:10:06,480 --> 00:10:08,680 so I'd be gutted to walk away without it. 235 00:10:09,840 --> 00:10:13,040 I'm 100% needy of the experts. 236 00:10:14,920 --> 00:10:16,470 I care very much about Anita, 237 00:10:16,480 --> 00:10:19,430 but opening up about my emotional feelings 238 00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:21,350 has always been a struggle for me. 239 00:10:21,360 --> 00:10:23,670 My coping mechanism is to put a barrier up, 240 00:10:23,680 --> 00:10:25,390 and I think that's something 241 00:10:25,400 --> 00:10:27,790 that Anita's found hard to break down. 242 00:10:27,800 --> 00:10:33,190 I'm not too empathetic towards her feelings maybe. 243 00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:35,390 It's something I need to improve on. 244 00:10:35,400 --> 00:10:38,470 Anita has compassion and patience. 245 00:10:38,480 --> 00:10:40,990 I'm hoping she stays around long enough, 246 00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:43,990 and we work together to build the marriage going forward. 247 00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:45,630 I have no idea what Anita stands. 248 00:10:45,640 --> 00:10:48,160 I have no idea if she's going to stay or leave. 249 00:10:52,200 --> 00:10:55,710 What do you think about Sarah and Dean? 250 00:10:55,720 --> 00:10:59,430 He hasn't said much but I know obviously she said bits to you. 251 00:10:59,440 --> 00:11:01,350 Oh, she did say she got the ick. 252 00:11:01,360 --> 00:11:03,230 Did she? Like, the proper ick. 253 00:11:03,240 --> 00:11:04,870 That's a bit of a sad one, to be fair, 254 00:11:04,880 --> 00:11:06,990 cos he's such a nice lad. 255 00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:09,470 She said there's no physical attraction there for at all. 256 00:11:09,480 --> 00:11:11,840 Yeah. There's nothing sexual for her. 257 00:11:19,560 --> 00:11:22,270 Last night, it was harder than I thought it was going to be. 258 00:11:22,280 --> 00:11:23,710 Yeah, definitely. 259 00:11:23,720 --> 00:11:27,030 It's hard to see everyone as well, like, be lovey-dovey. Mm-hm. 260 00:11:27,040 --> 00:11:28,270 Cos I'm the guy, like, 261 00:11:28,280 --> 00:11:30,430 "Comparison is the thief of joy. I'm not going to compare." 262 00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:32,790 But, yeah, there was definitely a feeling... 263 00:11:32,800 --> 00:11:34,310 A lot of feelings yesterday. 264 00:11:34,320 --> 00:11:37,310 You can't help that. No. I won't, but yeah. 265 00:11:37,320 --> 00:11:40,710 I'd obviously said that I probably would compare. 266 00:11:40,720 --> 00:11:43,550 It obviously would be the attraction thing 267 00:11:43,560 --> 00:11:45,670 which is, for me, the hardest bit. 268 00:11:45,680 --> 00:11:47,590 And last night was emotional at points, 269 00:11:47,600 --> 00:11:50,270 so I think, yeah, today will be the same. 270 00:11:50,280 --> 00:11:53,550 Last night's dinner party has given me a little bit of a wake-up call. 271 00:11:53,560 --> 00:11:54,950 Mine and Dean's relationship 272 00:11:54,960 --> 00:11:56,910 is not where I would have imagined it to be. 273 00:11:56,920 --> 00:11:58,670 It is quite hard to see other couples 274 00:11:58,680 --> 00:12:00,390 being quite all over each other, 275 00:12:00,400 --> 00:12:01,950 and Dean and I aren't like that. 276 00:12:01,960 --> 00:12:04,680 And I think that's making me feel very emotional. 277 00:12:06,480 --> 00:12:07,550 I'm nervous about it as well, 278 00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:09,710 cos it's kind of putting everything out there, innit, 279 00:12:09,720 --> 00:12:10,990 and it is so intense. 280 00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:12,510 It's only going to get intenser. 281 00:12:12,520 --> 00:12:15,550 If we're honest, it can kind of only help. 282 00:12:15,560 --> 00:12:19,350 I like Sarah. I'm optimistic she'll say stay. 283 00:12:19,360 --> 00:12:21,310 There is reasons that we are matched. 284 00:12:21,320 --> 00:12:23,590 We're both here to kind of try and make it work. 285 00:12:23,600 --> 00:12:25,720 So yeah, I'm confident that she'll stay. 286 00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:29,430 We're all wanting to get somewhere within this experiment. Yeah. 287 00:12:29,440 --> 00:12:30,710 We're both where we are and we're like, 288 00:12:30,720 --> 00:12:33,070 "Yeah, we need help." And that's what they're there for. 289 00:12:33,080 --> 00:12:34,470 So hopefully... 290 00:12:34,480 --> 00:12:40,110 I don't know what the experts could do to help get that spark. 291 00:12:40,120 --> 00:12:43,990 Looking at the other couples and feeling that, like, you know, 292 00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:45,830 sexual energy and sexual spark. 293 00:12:45,840 --> 00:12:48,640 I mean, it was like flying through the room at one point. 294 00:12:50,240 --> 00:12:53,040 I genuinely just don't know if we're going to get to it. 295 00:13:24,880 --> 00:13:28,550 Today is the very first commitment ceremony 296 00:13:28,560 --> 00:13:32,790 and we are so excited to start your journeys with you. 297 00:13:32,800 --> 00:13:36,360 This is where the hard work begins. 298 00:13:37,560 --> 00:13:42,990 It's imperative that all of you commit to being honest and open. 299 00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:47,000 Honesty is the key to the success of your marriages. 300 00:13:49,160 --> 00:13:52,150 You're all here to make a very important decision - 301 00:13:52,160 --> 00:13:55,600 whether to stay or leave the experiment. 302 00:13:56,800 --> 00:14:01,270 A couple can only leave the experiment if both write leave. 303 00:14:01,280 --> 00:14:03,510 If just one person wants to stay, 304 00:14:03,520 --> 00:14:06,110 then the couple must stay in the experiment 305 00:14:06,120 --> 00:14:08,560 and continue to work on their marriage. 306 00:14:09,760 --> 00:14:13,910 Now, Davide and Joe cannot be here today due to illness, 307 00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:17,880 but for the rest of you, let's all get down to business. 308 00:14:25,760 --> 00:14:29,590 Our first couple up to the couch tonight is Grace and Ashley. 309 00:14:29,600 --> 00:14:31,320 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 310 00:14:34,320 --> 00:14:37,230 Come and join us, you two. 311 00:14:37,240 --> 00:14:39,630 Hello. Hello. 312 00:14:39,640 --> 00:14:42,870 Why don't you take us back to the wedding day? 313 00:14:42,880 --> 00:14:46,990 Grace, how did you feel leading up to the ceremony? 314 00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:49,390 I don't really know what I was expecting. 315 00:14:49,400 --> 00:14:51,550 I certainly didn't expect it to hit me 316 00:14:51,560 --> 00:14:53,510 like a tonne of bricks that it did. 317 00:14:53,520 --> 00:14:54,950 I think I just panicked. 318 00:14:54,960 --> 00:14:57,030 I was, like, I was frustrated with myself 319 00:14:57,040 --> 00:14:59,150 and, like, berating myself. 320 00:14:59,160 --> 00:15:01,630 And I took myself on a downward spiral. 321 00:15:01,640 --> 00:15:05,910 Later, there was talk of Ash's traditional values 322 00:15:05,920 --> 00:15:07,870 and being an old-school gentleman 323 00:15:07,880 --> 00:15:09,310 and I didn't really know what that meant. 324 00:15:09,320 --> 00:15:12,350 I loved being an independent woman and I just thought, 325 00:15:12,360 --> 00:15:14,750 "It's dead in the water before it even starts." 326 00:15:14,760 --> 00:15:16,670 How did that feel for you, Ashley? 327 00:15:16,680 --> 00:15:18,310 It was like a deer in headlights 328 00:15:18,320 --> 00:15:20,590 when sort of Grace was feeling the way she was. 329 00:15:20,600 --> 00:15:23,070 So that kind of made me spiral a little bit, 330 00:15:23,080 --> 00:15:24,910 because I said from the very beginning 331 00:15:24,920 --> 00:15:26,430 I wanted to be unapologetically me. 332 00:15:26,440 --> 00:15:27,670 That's really hard to do 333 00:15:27,680 --> 00:15:30,240 when you're the reason she's feeling like she is. 334 00:15:32,080 --> 00:15:34,430 It's about terminology, isn't it? Yeah. 335 00:15:34,440 --> 00:15:36,230 Grace hears, "Old-school gent," 336 00:15:36,240 --> 00:15:38,590 and she thinks, "I'm not a tradwife." 337 00:15:38,600 --> 00:15:39,670 Yeah. 338 00:15:39,680 --> 00:15:42,070 I had no idea it would even be taken that way. 339 00:15:42,080 --> 00:15:44,630 So it completely kind of wiped me off my feet 340 00:15:44,640 --> 00:15:46,790 because I just wasn't expecting it. 341 00:15:46,800 --> 00:15:50,000 It sounds like that was quite difficult for you. 342 00:15:51,360 --> 00:15:52,790 And then you went on honeymoon. 343 00:15:52,800 --> 00:15:55,870 On the honeymoon, OK, so for the first couple of days, 344 00:15:55,880 --> 00:15:57,350 I'm feeling upset. 345 00:15:57,360 --> 00:16:00,070 Everything made me on the brink of tears. 346 00:16:00,080 --> 00:16:02,990 I'm not the most touchy-feely person. 347 00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:05,990 And in this moment when I was feeling so overwhelmed 348 00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:09,070 and so stressed and so anxious, so vulnerable, 349 00:16:09,080 --> 00:16:11,920 that not wanting to be touchy-feely... 350 00:16:13,240 --> 00:16:15,630 ...it became a huge deal. 351 00:16:15,640 --> 00:16:18,830 And Ash, in wanting to make me feel better, is like, 352 00:16:18,840 --> 00:16:20,790 "Are you OK? Are you all right?" 353 00:16:20,800 --> 00:16:22,310 And I was like... 354 00:16:22,320 --> 00:16:25,270 It was making me like more and more and more inside myself. 355 00:16:25,280 --> 00:16:26,680 I was struggling. 356 00:16:28,840 --> 00:16:31,990 Ash, how was that experience for you? 357 00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:34,390 If someone's feeling down, I try and make it better. 358 00:16:34,400 --> 00:16:37,070 Cos the way I flirt, I was always like, 359 00:16:37,080 --> 00:16:38,910 if someone likes you, they're touching you more. 360 00:16:38,920 --> 00:16:40,710 So I always thought touch was good 361 00:16:40,720 --> 00:16:43,230 and, like, let them know that you like them, 362 00:16:43,240 --> 00:16:45,230 but that wasn't what she wanted or needed 363 00:16:45,240 --> 00:16:46,880 and I was kind of making it worse. 364 00:16:48,640 --> 00:16:52,910 Grace, are you able to direct your own insight back to yourself here 365 00:16:52,920 --> 00:16:55,470 on this one and see where that lack of comfort 366 00:16:55,480 --> 00:16:57,670 with all the touching comes from? 367 00:16:57,680 --> 00:16:59,390 I don't know anyone else like me. 368 00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:00,670 I don't know anyone else 369 00:17:00,680 --> 00:17:03,670 that doesn't really like the feeling of like skin on skin. 370 00:17:03,680 --> 00:17:06,230 But I do function as an adult. Like, I'm a midwife. 371 00:17:06,240 --> 00:17:08,560 I rub people's backs, I hold people's hands. 372 00:17:10,160 --> 00:17:11,790 But this experiment... 373 00:17:11,800 --> 00:17:13,520 OK. 374 00:17:17,280 --> 00:17:20,870 You're doing great. Come on, you're doing really good. 375 00:17:20,880 --> 00:17:23,950 ...is confronting because for me it's normal. 376 00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:25,750 I've always been this way. 377 00:17:25,760 --> 00:17:29,870 But then, looking at everyone else finding it so easy, so natural, 378 00:17:29,880 --> 00:17:32,190 you do start to feel like a bit of a freak. 379 00:17:32,200 --> 00:17:33,750 And you're like... 380 00:17:33,760 --> 00:17:37,350 And it's made me question, "What was I thinking? 381 00:17:37,360 --> 00:17:40,950 "Why did I think I could come into this?" 382 00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:45,550 What did I? Like, it makes me think, like, what a bizarre thing to do. 383 00:17:45,560 --> 00:17:47,590 Or maybe it's a brave thing to do. 384 00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:49,470 Yeah. OK. Thanks, Paul. 385 00:17:49,480 --> 00:17:50,880 LAUGHTER 386 00:17:53,200 --> 00:17:56,390 You know, we all have different levels of comfort with touch. 387 00:17:56,400 --> 00:18:00,070 And I think what's important here is the two of you can start talking 388 00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:01,750 about what those boundaries are. 389 00:18:01,760 --> 00:18:05,310 On this point, when you both sat here on the couch, 390 00:18:05,320 --> 00:18:08,110 you, Grace, you were feeling emotional. 391 00:18:08,120 --> 00:18:09,870 Yeah. So Ashley literally... 392 00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:12,190 I just saw him put his hand out like this, 393 00:18:12,200 --> 00:18:14,350 and he went to touch you, and he was like, 394 00:18:14,360 --> 00:18:17,150 "Uh-oh, I better not do this. I better not do this here." 395 00:18:17,160 --> 00:18:20,350 Then he goes... It's one of those, "Oh yeah. Cool, babe." 396 00:18:20,360 --> 00:18:22,590 And I felt for you in that moment. 397 00:18:22,600 --> 00:18:24,030 Yeah. 398 00:18:24,040 --> 00:18:26,590 But I think it's also important for you, Ashley, 399 00:18:26,600 --> 00:18:27,670 to be able to say, 400 00:18:27,680 --> 00:18:29,550 "I'm here for you in this moment." 401 00:18:29,560 --> 00:18:31,110 Right? That's right, to do it verbally. 402 00:18:31,120 --> 00:18:33,510 To do it verbally. Yeah. 403 00:18:33,520 --> 00:18:35,510 I'm very verbal as a person anyway. 404 00:18:35,520 --> 00:18:38,350 If I feel a certain way or I'm upset with something, 405 00:18:38,360 --> 00:18:40,030 I just come straight out and say it. 406 00:18:40,040 --> 00:18:43,680 So hopefully we can sort of just keep going like that. 407 00:18:44,920 --> 00:18:46,790 So where would you say you guys ended up 408 00:18:46,800 --> 00:18:50,150 at the end of the honeymoon compared with where you started? 409 00:18:50,160 --> 00:18:51,750 Full 180. 410 00:18:51,760 --> 00:18:53,670 Tell us about that. 411 00:18:53,680 --> 00:18:55,830 We just agreed that we couldn't just be strangers 412 00:18:55,840 --> 00:18:59,270 and then husband and wife, like, there had to be friendship first. 413 00:18:59,280 --> 00:19:02,830 Then it was fun. I was cracking up. I was laughing so much. 414 00:19:02,840 --> 00:19:06,430 I made a conscious effort when I did feel in a good place, 415 00:19:06,440 --> 00:19:08,750 like, to try and be more affectionate. 416 00:19:08,760 --> 00:19:11,390 And then I can see that she's making a big effort 417 00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:12,990 and I really appreciate it. 418 00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:15,990 And hopefully she sees the same with the way I'm saying things... 419 00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:17,110 I do. ..and sort of that. 420 00:19:17,120 --> 00:19:18,710 Yeah. 421 00:19:18,720 --> 00:19:21,270 It's quite remarkable, I think, how much progress 422 00:19:21,280 --> 00:19:22,510 the two of you have made. 423 00:19:22,520 --> 00:19:26,470 Ashley, you're showing such patience with this woman you've just met 424 00:19:26,480 --> 00:19:29,270 who's showing behaviours that you don't quite understand. 425 00:19:29,280 --> 00:19:31,710 And for you, Grace, you are showing incredible bravery. 426 00:19:31,720 --> 00:19:34,190 Yeah. Because you're doing things so differently 427 00:19:34,200 --> 00:19:35,910 from how you've done them before. 428 00:19:35,920 --> 00:19:37,310 So I think it's brilliant 429 00:19:37,320 --> 00:19:39,960 that the two of you have come so far already. 430 00:19:41,720 --> 00:19:44,750 I think we're going to go to a decision. 431 00:19:44,760 --> 00:19:47,470 Let's start with you first, Ashley. 432 00:19:47,480 --> 00:19:51,630 So I honestly feel like we've come so, so far 433 00:19:51,640 --> 00:19:54,590 and I can't wait to see how far we can take this 434 00:19:54,600 --> 00:19:57,070 and I'm really excited to do the rest of this experiment 435 00:19:57,080 --> 00:19:58,390 and see where we go. 436 00:19:58,400 --> 00:20:00,150 So I voted to stay. 437 00:20:00,160 --> 00:20:01,510 Brilliant. 438 00:20:01,520 --> 00:20:03,280 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 439 00:20:04,840 --> 00:20:06,190 Good job! 440 00:20:06,200 --> 00:20:07,670 And to you, Grace? 441 00:20:07,680 --> 00:20:09,270 I feel really lucky 442 00:20:09,280 --> 00:20:12,270 that I got partnered with someone so patient, 443 00:20:12,280 --> 00:20:15,670 so tolerant, so willing to learn, so open-minded. 444 00:20:15,680 --> 00:20:18,470 I'm happy to be here. And I'm glad that it's with you. 445 00:20:18,480 --> 00:20:21,630 So, yeah, I'm gonna stay. 446 00:20:21,640 --> 00:20:22,830 Ah. 447 00:20:22,840 --> 00:20:24,560 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 448 00:20:26,840 --> 00:20:28,270 Thank you so much. 449 00:20:28,280 --> 00:20:31,830 This is a really positive journey that you've taken so far. 450 00:20:31,840 --> 00:20:34,670 Keep doing what you're doing, guys. You're off to a good start. 451 00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:36,670 Thank you so much. Thanks, guys. Take a seat. 452 00:20:36,680 --> 00:20:38,350 Well done. 453 00:20:38,360 --> 00:20:40,320 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 454 00:20:45,720 --> 00:20:47,240 All right, next up to the couch... 455 00:20:53,680 --> 00:20:56,070 If we can have Julia-Ruth and Divarni. 456 00:20:56,080 --> 00:20:57,310 Come on up. 457 00:20:57,320 --> 00:20:59,240 APPLAUSE 458 00:21:02,200 --> 00:21:03,990 Welcome. 459 00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:06,070 Hello! Hi. Welcome. How are we doing? 460 00:21:06,080 --> 00:21:07,590 Good. Good. 461 00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:09,950 It is so good for you both to be here 462 00:21:09,960 --> 00:21:12,080 because I have so many questions. 463 00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:15,150 Can we start with the wedding? 464 00:21:15,160 --> 00:21:16,510 Oh my God. 465 00:21:16,520 --> 00:21:17,630 Magical. It was wild. 466 00:21:17,640 --> 00:21:21,190 Best wedding ever, I'm not gonna lie. Best wedding ever. 467 00:21:21,200 --> 00:21:22,710 The vibes were up there. So much fun. 468 00:21:22,720 --> 00:21:26,710 It was just like, damn, this person actually exists. 469 00:21:26,720 --> 00:21:29,110 I was stupid excited and I'm still excited. 470 00:21:29,120 --> 00:21:32,190 Just the true beauty that I saw in her at the beginning 471 00:21:32,200 --> 00:21:33,590 threw me off. 472 00:21:33,600 --> 00:21:34,910 That's big. Yeah. 473 00:21:34,920 --> 00:21:37,270 And then I'm laughing and I'm snorting and I'm giggling. 474 00:21:37,280 --> 00:21:39,630 It was a lot of emotions. It was really great. 475 00:21:39,640 --> 00:21:42,550 The energy was so good. We were vibing. Yeah. 476 00:21:42,560 --> 00:21:44,670 All right, next day we go on honeymoon. 477 00:21:44,680 --> 00:21:46,630 Yes. Honeymoon was? 478 00:21:46,640 --> 00:21:48,550 Started off great. 479 00:21:48,560 --> 00:21:49,910 Started off good? 480 00:21:49,920 --> 00:21:50,960 Go on. 481 00:21:52,800 --> 00:21:57,470 I think the... We arrived in Morocco and that was when it hit me. 482 00:21:57,480 --> 00:21:58,710 "OK, I'm married." 483 00:21:58,720 --> 00:22:01,790 So I did, like, kind of feel overwhelmed. 484 00:22:01,800 --> 00:22:05,830 And I'm trying to find some joyous moments 485 00:22:05,840 --> 00:22:09,230 for us to build some sort of, like, emotional connection. 486 00:22:09,240 --> 00:22:11,030 Can you explain that? 487 00:22:11,040 --> 00:22:13,510 The physical didn't come naturally, so I'm like, 488 00:22:13,520 --> 00:22:14,830 let's build the... 489 00:22:14,840 --> 00:22:16,670 We're having so much fun and we're laughing 490 00:22:16,680 --> 00:22:18,990 that, like, maybe that comes that way, 491 00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:21,910 but everything is really heavy and deep. 492 00:22:21,920 --> 00:22:24,430 It's always intense. 493 00:22:24,440 --> 00:22:28,270 Can you give an example for us? Yeah. 494 00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:31,910 So we were on the camels and I asked you, 495 00:22:31,920 --> 00:22:34,070 "What is your biggest fear?" 496 00:22:34,080 --> 00:22:35,310 And then you spiralled 497 00:22:35,320 --> 00:22:38,070 into the deepest conversation I've ever had in my life, 498 00:22:38,080 --> 00:22:39,360 which was shocking. 499 00:22:41,280 --> 00:22:42,590 You went on and you were like, 500 00:22:42,600 --> 00:22:44,950 "It's always just been me. Always end up in these situations 501 00:22:44,960 --> 00:22:47,390 "No one's ever gonna love me It's always gonna be me by myself." 502 00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:50,710 It was all this dark stuff and I'm sitting there and I'm like, "Bro..." 503 00:22:50,720 --> 00:22:52,350 Can I ask... Can I ask you a question, though? 504 00:22:52,360 --> 00:22:53,390 Yeah. 505 00:22:53,400 --> 00:22:56,160 You've just asked about his deepest fear. 506 00:22:57,320 --> 00:22:58,830 Fears are dark. 507 00:22:58,840 --> 00:23:00,910 I know that fear is a big word, 508 00:23:00,920 --> 00:23:04,310 but I'm feeling overwhelmed by the amount of information 509 00:23:04,320 --> 00:23:07,390 that is being dumped onto me continuously. 510 00:23:07,400 --> 00:23:10,120 It feels like trauma dumping. 511 00:23:11,480 --> 00:23:13,430 We talk about deep stuff so much. 512 00:23:13,440 --> 00:23:14,830 There's inappropriate times 513 00:23:14,840 --> 00:23:17,400 where I just feel like I want to have fun with you. 514 00:23:18,840 --> 00:23:20,630 Divarni, in that moment, 515 00:23:20,640 --> 00:23:22,790 how did you interpret what was happening? 516 00:23:22,800 --> 00:23:26,230 Answering that question was very personal to me, for sure, 517 00:23:26,240 --> 00:23:28,950 but it was just me opening up at that moment, 518 00:23:28,960 --> 00:23:32,480 and I just expressed myself the way I needed to express myself. 519 00:23:33,920 --> 00:23:36,350 Divarni, do you feel clear 520 00:23:36,360 --> 00:23:39,790 when the right time is to talk in a deep way 521 00:23:39,800 --> 00:23:41,790 and when to kind of have a bit of fun? 522 00:23:41,800 --> 00:23:45,160 Do you feel clear in terms of what Julia-Ruth wants from you? 523 00:23:46,320 --> 00:23:50,190 Sometimes when I communicate, it can go on and on and on and on. 524 00:23:50,200 --> 00:23:53,630 It's just finding that balance of choosing a part of that information. 525 00:23:53,640 --> 00:23:56,550 I mean, maybe I can pick it up and then feed it another time. 526 00:23:56,560 --> 00:23:57,950 Right, right. 527 00:23:57,960 --> 00:24:00,240 All right. Vital information missed. 528 00:24:01,440 --> 00:24:05,230 Obviously, had the argument after the camels and it erupted. 529 00:24:05,240 --> 00:24:08,670 Divarni's heightened and jittery and upset. 530 00:24:08,680 --> 00:24:11,470 And I don't like how you handled that situation. 531 00:24:11,480 --> 00:24:15,270 You don't back down, you get more intense, 532 00:24:15,280 --> 00:24:16,950 and you're going at me. 533 00:24:16,960 --> 00:24:19,830 And you did that last night after the dinner party, too, 534 00:24:19,840 --> 00:24:21,750 and I'm like, "Whoa!" 535 00:24:21,760 --> 00:24:24,750 Like, "OK, this isn't gonna work." 536 00:24:24,760 --> 00:24:26,190 I needed to get things off my chest. 537 00:24:26,200 --> 00:24:28,230 Would you agree, though, it was explosive? 538 00:24:28,240 --> 00:24:29,630 It was a bit explosive. Yeah. 539 00:24:29,640 --> 00:24:32,040 OK, so that is a major detail. 540 00:24:33,600 --> 00:24:35,710 So we have two issues 541 00:24:35,720 --> 00:24:38,910 of poor communication that happens on the honeymoon 542 00:24:38,920 --> 00:24:41,270 and, Julia-Ruth, what you're telling me 543 00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:42,950 is that there's many of these. 544 00:24:42,960 --> 00:24:46,030 So, honeymoon, not so good. 545 00:24:46,040 --> 00:24:48,950 You come back, you move in to the apartment. 546 00:24:48,960 --> 00:24:51,230 How did you feel about your marriage 547 00:24:51,240 --> 00:24:53,320 when you walked into the dinner party? 548 00:24:54,680 --> 00:24:56,630 We sat down and had a conversation 549 00:24:56,640 --> 00:24:59,470 and we said, "We're going to be on the same page at the dinner party." 550 00:24:59,480 --> 00:25:02,590 So, like, if we're getting asked the questions by people, 551 00:25:02,600 --> 00:25:04,230 "How has your time been?" 552 00:25:04,240 --> 00:25:05,390 The wedding was great. 553 00:25:05,400 --> 00:25:07,830 It's been good and it's been really bad. 554 00:25:07,840 --> 00:25:08,990 For sure. 555 00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:10,270 But I sit down and talk to people 556 00:25:10,280 --> 00:25:12,350 and then when I tell them how the relationship's going, 557 00:25:12,360 --> 00:25:15,390 they were like, "Oh, that's not what I've heard." 558 00:25:15,400 --> 00:25:17,950 And I'm like, "What do you mean that's not what you've heard?" 559 00:25:17,960 --> 00:25:21,630 It's been, "You've been really good. Like, smooth sailing." 560 00:25:21,640 --> 00:25:22,790 So I was very confused 561 00:25:22,800 --> 00:25:24,390 because I go around looking like a dickhead 562 00:25:24,400 --> 00:25:27,430 saying that our relationship's been turbulent 563 00:25:27,440 --> 00:25:30,790 and he's saying it's been a hiccup. Fine. 564 00:25:30,800 --> 00:25:32,230 OK. 565 00:25:32,240 --> 00:25:35,150 That's not even remotely close to what's been going on 566 00:25:35,160 --> 00:25:37,430 in our relationship. 567 00:25:37,440 --> 00:25:39,950 I know that obviously we went through our shit, 568 00:25:39,960 --> 00:25:43,550 but I was going into the dinner party hopeful. 569 00:25:43,560 --> 00:25:45,030 You know, I'm curious. 570 00:25:45,040 --> 00:25:47,470 You mentioned there was an argument last night. 571 00:25:47,480 --> 00:25:49,670 What happened after the dinner party? 572 00:25:49,680 --> 00:25:51,830 Coming back to the apartment, I did confront her, 573 00:25:51,840 --> 00:25:53,630 and I was just getting things off my chest. 574 00:25:53,640 --> 00:25:55,430 You always say you're getting things off your chest 575 00:25:55,440 --> 00:25:57,750 and it's not fun because you attack me. 576 00:25:57,760 --> 00:26:01,710 I want us to have the space so we don't yell at each other. 577 00:26:01,720 --> 00:26:02,990 And that's why I say, 578 00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:06,270 "Go and breathe and come back to me when you can talk to me like a person." 579 00:26:06,280 --> 00:26:08,840 You don't talk to me like a person You go at me. 580 00:26:10,880 --> 00:26:13,430 You don't listen to me. I'm like, "Should I go to another room?" 581 00:26:13,440 --> 00:26:15,070 And you're going at me. 582 00:26:15,080 --> 00:26:17,870 OK, well, then, I'm gonna go to another room. 583 00:26:17,880 --> 00:26:20,840 And you get more intense and more intense and more intense. 584 00:26:22,160 --> 00:26:25,110 You get so heightened, and I can't communicate with you. 585 00:26:25,120 --> 00:26:26,440 I don't like that. 586 00:26:40,680 --> 00:26:43,680 You get more intense and more intense and more intense. 587 00:26:44,800 --> 00:26:47,990 You get so heightened and I can't communicate with you. 588 00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:49,280 I don't like that. 589 00:26:54,640 --> 00:26:57,430 You know what's so interesting about you two? 590 00:26:57,440 --> 00:27:01,910 You're the most hot and cold couple in this experiment. 591 00:27:01,920 --> 00:27:03,190 Wedding - Oh, my gosh. 592 00:27:03,200 --> 00:27:05,550 Ten... ten wedding, I can't believe it. 593 00:27:05,560 --> 00:27:06,910 By the next day, it's like 594 00:27:06,920 --> 00:27:09,720 I don't even know if I want to be with this person, right? 595 00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:16,150 So what do you want from this relationship? 596 00:27:16,160 --> 00:27:18,070 So what I want is a companion. 597 00:27:18,080 --> 00:27:19,670 Someone that's very supportive. 598 00:27:19,680 --> 00:27:22,190 Someone that understands me in a whole entirety. 599 00:27:22,200 --> 00:27:24,870 Obviously, having fun. That's what I'm looking for. 600 00:27:24,880 --> 00:27:28,430 OK. And you still want that in Julia-Ruth? 601 00:27:28,440 --> 00:27:29,670 Yes. OK. 602 00:27:29,680 --> 00:27:31,910 Julia-Ruth, what do you want? 603 00:27:31,920 --> 00:27:35,390 I want someone who's going to go 50-50 604 00:27:35,400 --> 00:27:39,310 or 60-40 at different times with me in terms of energy. 605 00:27:39,320 --> 00:27:41,030 I don't mind being there for you. 606 00:27:41,040 --> 00:27:43,430 I don't mind you unloading to me. 607 00:27:43,440 --> 00:27:46,190 If anyone, I feel like I've got you. 608 00:27:46,200 --> 00:27:47,950 Let's also enjoy each other. 609 00:27:47,960 --> 00:27:49,510 I want to have that feeling of like 610 00:27:49,520 --> 00:27:53,230 we're laughing so hard that the physical intimacy kicks off. 611 00:27:53,240 --> 00:27:54,590 We don't have that. 612 00:27:54,600 --> 00:27:57,390 And that's what I said, like, coming back to the apartment. 613 00:27:57,400 --> 00:27:59,630 I'm very excited because then I can take you out on dates 614 00:27:59,640 --> 00:28:03,790 and actually have those memorable moments of actually having fun. 615 00:28:03,800 --> 00:28:06,950 That's why coming and moving into the apartment was a thrill. 616 00:28:06,960 --> 00:28:08,630 The other thing, Divarni, too 617 00:28:08,640 --> 00:28:10,830 is I think what's very important, 618 00:28:10,840 --> 00:28:13,230 and I hear Julia-Ruth wanting as well, 619 00:28:13,240 --> 00:28:14,830 is for you to listen. 620 00:28:14,840 --> 00:28:16,470 Sometimes listening means 621 00:28:16,480 --> 00:28:18,350 I'm going to take a cool-off period. 622 00:28:18,360 --> 00:28:19,950 And then during that period, 623 00:28:19,960 --> 00:28:24,070 reflecting upon what your partner said, what your partner feels, 624 00:28:24,080 --> 00:28:25,670 what their emotion is. 625 00:28:25,680 --> 00:28:28,470 So, therefore, you're coming back in a position 626 00:28:28,480 --> 00:28:31,520 where you can actually resolve the conflict. 627 00:28:33,520 --> 00:28:34,950 You know, I have hope. 628 00:28:34,960 --> 00:28:37,430 Ultimately, you know what you both said? 629 00:28:37,440 --> 00:28:39,710 You want to have someone who will support you 630 00:28:39,720 --> 00:28:42,790 and I think that's the place to remain focussed on - 631 00:28:42,800 --> 00:28:45,080 be each other's support. OK? 632 00:28:46,920 --> 00:28:49,310 Can we go to a decision? 633 00:28:49,320 --> 00:28:51,950 Divarni, why don't you take us away? 634 00:28:51,960 --> 00:28:54,230 Julia-Ruth, it's been difficult. 635 00:28:54,240 --> 00:28:57,080 It's been proper difficult throughout this honeymoon. 636 00:28:59,840 --> 00:29:01,470 But obviously I'm here for a reason. 637 00:29:01,480 --> 00:29:03,830 And I do believe in us. 638 00:29:03,840 --> 00:29:06,670 So my actual decision 639 00:29:06,680 --> 00:29:08,790 is for me to stay. 640 00:29:08,800 --> 00:29:11,040 APPLAUSE 641 00:29:17,760 --> 00:29:19,040 Um... 642 00:29:20,760 --> 00:29:21,960 For me, it's tricky. 643 00:29:24,440 --> 00:29:28,040 The vibes on the wedding day were unreal. 644 00:29:29,560 --> 00:29:32,510 I just haven't seen you let your hair loose 645 00:29:32,520 --> 00:29:35,510 and just have a fun, light-hearted conversation 646 00:29:35,520 --> 00:29:37,950 and just have giggles with me and create fun memories. 647 00:29:37,960 --> 00:29:41,040 I don't need everything to be picked apart and to be deep. 648 00:29:45,760 --> 00:29:47,230 We do have some good moments 649 00:29:47,240 --> 00:29:50,400 and I don't like spending time away from you because I miss you. 650 00:29:53,200 --> 00:29:56,590 So I think I have chosen to stay. 651 00:29:56,600 --> 00:29:58,720 APPLAUSE 652 00:30:03,600 --> 00:30:06,350 All right. Done. Done. Thank you. 653 00:30:06,360 --> 00:30:08,320 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 654 00:30:11,640 --> 00:30:14,670 I think it's going to take a lot of work for Divarni and I 655 00:30:14,680 --> 00:30:17,750 to fix and restart or mend our relationship. 656 00:30:17,760 --> 00:30:21,150 I hold on to, so dearly, the moments from the wedding. 657 00:30:21,160 --> 00:30:24,470 I want to stay because I'm fighting for those moments. 658 00:30:24,480 --> 00:30:25,750 I've shared how I felt 659 00:30:25,760 --> 00:30:29,160 and I think it's now up to him how he processes the information. 660 00:30:33,120 --> 00:30:34,600 Next up to the couch... 661 00:30:37,760 --> 00:30:39,110 ...Rebecca and Bailey. 662 00:30:39,120 --> 00:30:41,360 APPLAUSE 663 00:30:44,120 --> 00:30:46,470 Hello. Hello. Hello. Hi. 664 00:30:46,480 --> 00:30:49,150 Good to see the two of you. Thank you. 665 00:30:49,160 --> 00:30:52,070 Looking extremely comfortable with one another. 666 00:30:52,080 --> 00:30:54,790 I'm absolutely loving this. 667 00:30:54,800 --> 00:30:58,910 OK. So I'm super keen to hear about your wedding. 668 00:30:58,920 --> 00:31:00,670 Kind of a roller coaster. OK. 669 00:31:00,680 --> 00:31:03,470 Initial reaction turning round around - stunning. 670 00:31:03,480 --> 00:31:04,710 Absolutely gorgeous. 671 00:31:04,720 --> 00:31:08,630 I feel like the only thing I just couldn't catch a vibe, I feel like. 672 00:31:08,640 --> 00:31:11,030 I was a bit thrown by it. Yeah. I was just... 673 00:31:11,040 --> 00:31:12,110 And then throughout the day, 674 00:31:12,120 --> 00:31:13,830 it kind of just followed on that path for me, 675 00:31:13,840 --> 00:31:15,630 just up and down like a yo-yo. 676 00:31:15,640 --> 00:31:19,110 So it sounds like you were trying to work out, "What is she feeling?" 677 00:31:19,120 --> 00:31:23,670 Yeah. And, Rebecca, what was the experience like for you? 678 00:31:23,680 --> 00:31:25,390 I think I had in my mind 679 00:31:25,400 --> 00:31:27,830 I would get to the end of the aisle 680 00:31:27,840 --> 00:31:29,990 and there would be massive sparks flying, 681 00:31:30,000 --> 00:31:31,830 because that's what I'm used to. 682 00:31:31,840 --> 00:31:34,550 Like, that initial big attraction. 683 00:31:34,560 --> 00:31:36,880 And we didn't have that. 684 00:31:38,040 --> 00:31:40,670 I know that for you it's really important to have someone 685 00:31:40,680 --> 00:31:42,790 that is very much an alpha male. 686 00:31:42,800 --> 00:31:45,750 And that was something that was quite difficult for you. 687 00:31:45,760 --> 00:31:47,550 On the wedding day, I struggled with that 688 00:31:47,560 --> 00:31:49,710 because I couldn't see like the real Bailey. 689 00:31:49,720 --> 00:31:51,470 And I was like "Oh, my God, is he...?" 690 00:31:51,480 --> 00:31:53,470 You know, "Am I going to eat him alive?" 691 00:31:53,480 --> 00:31:56,950 And that made me go into my shell. 692 00:31:56,960 --> 00:31:59,680 I was crying through the vows. I was very overwhelmed. 693 00:32:01,240 --> 00:32:02,630 Take me to the honeymoon. 694 00:32:02,640 --> 00:32:04,390 Did that get any better? 695 00:32:04,400 --> 00:32:06,350 It changed everything. 696 00:32:06,360 --> 00:32:08,070 We really, really got on. 697 00:32:08,080 --> 00:32:11,430 Yeah, we started talking, laughing. Tables started turning. 698 00:32:11,440 --> 00:32:13,390 I saw him for who he was, and I thought, 699 00:32:13,400 --> 00:32:16,230 "Wow, I can really connect with this person." 700 00:32:16,240 --> 00:32:18,310 You called me a golden retriever. Yeah. 701 00:32:18,320 --> 00:32:19,510 He's got golden retriever energy. 702 00:32:19,520 --> 00:32:20,990 I've got black cat energy. I'll take that. 703 00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:22,510 Yeah, we match so well in that way. 704 00:32:22,520 --> 00:32:24,990 So we started to have a little bit of a giggle, like, yeah, 705 00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:28,030 a little bit of laugh, which I like. I can connect over. 706 00:32:28,040 --> 00:32:30,350 Bailey is who he is through and through. 707 00:32:30,360 --> 00:32:32,830 He doesn't put on a show or anything like that. 708 00:32:32,840 --> 00:32:36,550 He's the definition of an alpha man. 100%. 709 00:32:36,560 --> 00:32:39,070 He knows how to look after me 710 00:32:39,080 --> 00:32:41,870 whilst allowing me to just completely be myself. 711 00:32:41,880 --> 00:32:43,790 I go to the gym, I can carry my bags, 712 00:32:43,800 --> 00:32:45,590 can do things for myself. 713 00:32:45,600 --> 00:32:49,510 Bailey takes away anything that he can do, 714 00:32:49,520 --> 00:32:52,470 while still making me feel that I'm capable. 715 00:32:52,480 --> 00:32:54,150 I do like to do the little things, 716 00:32:54,160 --> 00:32:55,790 like going up to the bar and getting a drink, 717 00:32:55,800 --> 00:32:56,950 carrying your bags, little... 718 00:32:56,960 --> 00:32:58,910 Just little things. They're only small. 719 00:32:58,920 --> 00:33:00,990 But because she was super independent, 720 00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:02,510 "I can do everything on my own," 721 00:33:02,520 --> 00:33:04,950 it kind of felt better when she put that trust into me 722 00:33:04,960 --> 00:33:06,030 and kind of relinquished 723 00:33:06,040 --> 00:33:08,350 a little bit of that independence that she has, was nice. 724 00:33:08,360 --> 00:33:09,830 You say that they're small things 725 00:33:09,840 --> 00:33:12,830 but it sounds like they're small things with a big meaning. 726 00:33:12,840 --> 00:33:16,430 Yeah. And it's not just, like, little acts of service like that. 727 00:33:16,440 --> 00:33:18,790 It's the little glances across the room. 728 00:33:18,800 --> 00:33:20,110 Or like the, "Are you OK?" 729 00:33:20,120 --> 00:33:23,750 And that I do it back to him, like, there is a real connection there. 730 00:33:23,760 --> 00:33:25,310 Yeah. 731 00:33:25,320 --> 00:33:27,670 Well, I think that helps me to kind of neatly go on 732 00:33:27,680 --> 00:33:29,510 to the next question around intimacy. 733 00:33:29,520 --> 00:33:32,070 So how are things going in the intimacy department? 734 00:33:32,080 --> 00:33:33,790 BOTH LAUGH 735 00:33:33,800 --> 00:33:35,030 Like Cheshire cats. 736 00:33:35,040 --> 00:33:37,350 Um, yeah. All good. Yeah. Really good. 737 00:33:37,360 --> 00:33:40,350 Yeah. Um, very well-matched in that department. 738 00:33:40,360 --> 00:33:42,270 Um, so no complaints. 739 00:33:42,280 --> 00:33:43,830 I can't stop smiling. Yeah. 740 00:33:43,840 --> 00:33:45,430 Rebecca, do you want to help him here? 741 00:33:45,440 --> 00:33:47,510 No. LAUGHS 742 00:33:47,520 --> 00:33:48,990 I'm sweating here, in't I? 743 00:33:49,000 --> 00:33:52,830 No, everything's good on that front. Yeah, great. 744 00:33:52,840 --> 00:33:55,070 Well, I am so excited with this union, 745 00:33:55,080 --> 00:33:57,750 and it's just so nice to see the physical affection 746 00:33:57,760 --> 00:33:59,270 between the two of you. 747 00:33:59,280 --> 00:34:01,030 The way you have each other's back. 748 00:34:01,040 --> 00:34:03,350 Yeah. We're constantly laughing and joking at home. 749 00:34:03,360 --> 00:34:05,910 Loads of fun. I mean, I asked for, like, a little bestie, 750 00:34:05,920 --> 00:34:07,750 and that's just what I've got. 751 00:34:07,760 --> 00:34:11,430 Yeah, it's a good feeling. It's... It feels secure. 752 00:34:11,440 --> 00:34:13,910 So let's go to the decisions. 753 00:34:13,920 --> 00:34:16,000 If we can start with you, Rebecca. 754 00:34:17,320 --> 00:34:19,310 From our wedding day, this is... 755 00:34:19,320 --> 00:34:22,910 I never ever, expected to be in this position now. 756 00:34:22,920 --> 00:34:25,870 I think more than anything, I just love how you make me feel. 757 00:34:25,880 --> 00:34:28,630 Yeah. So it's an easy one for me. 758 00:34:28,640 --> 00:34:30,190 It's a stay. 759 00:34:30,200 --> 00:34:31,910 APPLAUSE 760 00:34:31,920 --> 00:34:35,510 Thank you, Rebecca. And, Bailey, what's your decision? 761 00:34:35,520 --> 00:34:38,070 I'm really enjoying just getting to know you. 762 00:34:38,080 --> 00:34:39,910 I love just spending time with you at home, 763 00:34:39,920 --> 00:34:42,550 and I'm looking forward to that carrying on. 764 00:34:42,560 --> 00:34:43,950 So I've decided to... 765 00:34:43,960 --> 00:34:45,670 I'm upside down. ..stay. 766 00:34:45,680 --> 00:34:48,240 APPLAUSE 767 00:34:51,520 --> 00:34:54,070 So Rebecca and Bailey, the couple to watch. 768 00:34:54,080 --> 00:34:55,550 I'm excited. Oh gosh! 769 00:34:55,560 --> 00:34:57,110 Look forward to seeing you next week. 770 00:34:57,120 --> 00:34:58,750 Really appreciate it. Cheers. Thank you. 771 00:34:58,760 --> 00:35:00,840 APPLAUSE 772 00:35:05,880 --> 00:35:07,200 Next up to the couch... 773 00:35:10,680 --> 00:35:11,920 ...Sarah and Dean. 774 00:35:17,920 --> 00:35:20,790 Hello. Hello. Hello there. 775 00:35:20,800 --> 00:35:23,190 So how are we both? 776 00:35:23,200 --> 00:35:25,430 Yeah, nervous. Nervous? I'm nervous. Are you? 777 00:35:25,440 --> 00:35:28,310 Yeah, I'm good. Oh, you're good? That's good. All good. 778 00:35:28,320 --> 00:35:31,590 OK, so can we go to the wedding? 779 00:35:31,600 --> 00:35:32,790 Mm-hm. 780 00:35:32,800 --> 00:35:35,710 So the moment you saw Sarah, 781 00:35:35,720 --> 00:35:36,990 what did you think? 782 00:35:37,000 --> 00:35:39,670 Seeing her, I thought the energy's here and I was like... 783 00:35:39,680 --> 00:35:41,270 She's a beautiful girl as well. 784 00:35:41,280 --> 00:35:43,150 And I was like, "Yeah, this is good." 785 00:35:43,160 --> 00:35:45,630 You would say physically attractive - check? 786 00:35:45,640 --> 00:35:47,990 Yeah, yeah. Definitely. Sexually attractive? 787 00:35:48,000 --> 00:35:50,630 Yeah, I guess... I thought, "I could have sex with her." 788 00:35:50,640 --> 00:35:52,630 ALL LAUGH 789 00:35:52,640 --> 00:35:53,870 OK. 790 00:35:53,880 --> 00:35:55,550 But it's important to know 791 00:35:55,560 --> 00:35:58,430 because there is a distinction between the two. 792 00:35:58,440 --> 00:36:00,710 Yeah, yeah. So, OK, Sarah, 793 00:36:00,720 --> 00:36:03,710 how did you feel going in to the wedding? 794 00:36:03,720 --> 00:36:05,070 I was very nervous, 795 00:36:05,080 --> 00:36:07,870 and I think I had envisioned in my head 796 00:36:07,880 --> 00:36:09,990 who was going to be at the end of the aisle. 797 00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:11,320 And what was that vision? 798 00:36:13,160 --> 00:36:15,670 OK, so I'll be honest. Yeah. 799 00:36:15,680 --> 00:36:17,550 Yeah. Um... 800 00:36:17,560 --> 00:36:18,720 Tall. 801 00:36:20,040 --> 00:36:22,670 I love tattoos, so covered in tattoos. 802 00:36:22,680 --> 00:36:24,750 Probably look like they've just come out of jail, 803 00:36:24,760 --> 00:36:26,590 I'm not gonna lie. 804 00:36:26,600 --> 00:36:28,320 Because that was your "type"? 805 00:36:31,240 --> 00:36:32,750 OK. What else? 806 00:36:32,760 --> 00:36:38,510 I mean, I do also like a guy that's, like, into fitness and gym. 807 00:36:38,520 --> 00:36:40,640 So, yeah. I mean, maybe... 808 00:36:42,600 --> 00:36:44,040 ...physical as well... 809 00:36:45,480 --> 00:36:47,510 ...it wasn't what I thought it was going to be. 810 00:36:47,520 --> 00:36:48,920 OK. 811 00:36:50,560 --> 00:36:52,550 I don't want to hurt your feelings. I'm really sorry. No, no. 812 00:36:52,560 --> 00:36:54,110 Yeah, it's got to be honest, I promise. 813 00:36:54,120 --> 00:36:55,270 You're not gonna hurt my feelings. 814 00:36:55,280 --> 00:36:56,670 Dean, are you OK? 815 00:36:56,680 --> 00:36:59,390 Literally fine. It's so good It's so good. 816 00:36:59,400 --> 00:37:00,480 OK. 817 00:37:01,560 --> 00:37:03,520 It was an honest start. We appreciate that. 818 00:37:04,720 --> 00:37:07,710 So let's move to the honeymoon. 819 00:37:07,720 --> 00:37:10,910 Yeah, it was hard. I had a, like, a wobble 820 00:37:10,920 --> 00:37:13,150 cos I sing a lot and, um, I was like, 821 00:37:13,160 --> 00:37:15,070 "It can get a little bit grating, yeah?" 822 00:37:15,080 --> 00:37:17,310 And you was like, "Yeah, it's a bit..." Yeah. 823 00:37:17,320 --> 00:37:20,230 It was just a lot of random outbursts of singing. 824 00:37:20,240 --> 00:37:21,990 It was getting just a little bit... 825 00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:24,790 I was like, "I'm getting... I'm getting irritated by this." 826 00:37:24,800 --> 00:37:28,510 OK. Cos I don't really like showing my emotions too much. 827 00:37:28,520 --> 00:37:30,270 But if you listen to the song I'm singing, 828 00:37:30,280 --> 00:37:31,550 that's how I'm feeling. 829 00:37:31,560 --> 00:37:33,150 So I'll be singing like a sad song. 830 00:37:33,160 --> 00:37:35,790 And if you listen to the words, I'm like, that's how I'm feeling. 831 00:37:35,800 --> 00:37:38,270 So are you saying that you were sad during the honeymoon? 832 00:37:38,280 --> 00:37:40,280 Uh, yeah. Well, I was at a point. 833 00:37:41,480 --> 00:37:43,470 We had a meal and we was talking, 834 00:37:43,480 --> 00:37:44,790 and I reverted back to, like, 835 00:37:44,800 --> 00:37:47,840 the little fat kid at school who's trying to fit in, you know? 836 00:37:49,280 --> 00:37:52,110 I've not been that so long because I've built myself up so much. 837 00:37:52,120 --> 00:37:54,070 I guess doubts, you know, started coming in 838 00:37:54,080 --> 00:37:56,760 and I was like, "Oh, man, I don't... I don't like this." 839 00:37:58,640 --> 00:38:00,030 And that was a real low. 840 00:38:00,040 --> 00:38:01,990 And that's when I spoke to Sarah about it. 841 00:38:02,000 --> 00:38:03,150 That's when I was like, 842 00:38:03,160 --> 00:38:05,670 "Let's just enjoy getting to know each other." 843 00:38:05,680 --> 00:38:07,070 You know what's interesting? 844 00:38:07,080 --> 00:38:08,910 I think when there are painful moments, 845 00:38:08,920 --> 00:38:11,310 we try to go past them quickly. 846 00:38:11,320 --> 00:38:12,870 Yeah, probably, man. 847 00:38:12,880 --> 00:38:14,150 You just said something 848 00:38:14,160 --> 00:38:16,950 that touches upon a moment in childhood. 849 00:38:16,960 --> 00:38:19,750 Yeah. Let's give that respect. 850 00:38:19,760 --> 00:38:22,560 I felt like what? The fat kid, like back at school. 851 00:38:24,760 --> 00:38:26,830 And what made you feel that way? 852 00:38:26,840 --> 00:38:28,790 Probably feeling, like, in all honesty, 853 00:38:28,800 --> 00:38:30,670 a bit of rejection. 854 00:38:30,680 --> 00:38:33,480 You know? And not feeling like I was enough. 855 00:38:34,960 --> 00:38:36,630 And what was it that made you feel 856 00:38:36,640 --> 00:38:39,040 like you were rejected and not enough? 857 00:38:40,640 --> 00:38:42,510 The physical attraction thing is something that 858 00:38:42,520 --> 00:38:45,670 kind of, I guess, hits me more than I think it does. 859 00:38:45,680 --> 00:38:47,830 Yeah, it put my defences up, 860 00:38:47,840 --> 00:38:51,150 you know, like, that I didn't like it. 861 00:38:51,160 --> 00:38:52,240 Yeah. 862 00:38:54,080 --> 00:38:56,310 So when you both leave the honeymoon, 863 00:38:56,320 --> 00:39:00,670 are you at all optimistic about your marriage? 864 00:39:00,680 --> 00:39:03,150 I was stupid cos, like, we get on so well 865 00:39:03,160 --> 00:39:04,870 and we're always having a great time, 866 00:39:04,880 --> 00:39:07,630 and there's no one else I'd rather be with in this. 867 00:39:07,640 --> 00:39:09,870 For me, I was like, "Yeah, this could be like..." 868 00:39:09,880 --> 00:39:12,390 This could be something. Yeah. Yeah. 100%. 869 00:39:12,400 --> 00:39:14,920 So were you optimistic at all, Sarah? 870 00:39:20,200 --> 00:39:21,510 I was optimistic. 871 00:39:21,520 --> 00:39:24,550 We have been matched for a reason and I can see why. 872 00:39:24,560 --> 00:39:27,230 I think my problem is people I've dated or been with, 873 00:39:27,240 --> 00:39:29,110 I've always had that initial attraction. 874 00:39:29,120 --> 00:39:33,030 I've always wanted to rip their clothes off and just eat them. 875 00:39:33,040 --> 00:39:34,790 Just... Do you know that feeling? 876 00:39:34,800 --> 00:39:38,110 And I'm really struggling because I don't have that with Dean, 877 00:39:38,120 --> 00:39:40,190 but then I've got everything else. 878 00:39:40,200 --> 00:39:41,990 You wanted someone who was going to be funny. 879 00:39:42,000 --> 00:39:44,840 You wanted someone who could be a support system for you. 880 00:39:46,160 --> 00:39:50,070 So, Sarah, you feel as if Dean is everything that you need? 881 00:39:50,080 --> 00:39:51,350 Oh, that's what I said. I said, 882 00:39:51,360 --> 00:39:53,470 "I'm the husband you need, not the one you want." 883 00:39:53,480 --> 00:39:55,270 And I don't want him to change. Like, I... 884 00:39:55,280 --> 00:39:58,350 You know, the singing and the rapping, it did irritate me. 885 00:39:58,360 --> 00:40:01,630 It did. I mean, the raps and the songs sort of stopped. 886 00:40:01,640 --> 00:40:04,670 So he's receptive to modifying his behaviour? 887 00:40:04,680 --> 00:40:06,350 Yeah. 888 00:40:06,360 --> 00:40:08,880 So what behaviour are you modifying? 889 00:40:11,720 --> 00:40:15,360 Is there any modification that you think that you need? 890 00:40:17,040 --> 00:40:18,310 I don't know. 891 00:40:18,320 --> 00:40:19,470 You feel like you're good? 892 00:40:19,480 --> 00:40:20,990 You're doing everything appropriately? 893 00:40:21,000 --> 00:40:23,510 I feel like I'm... I feel like I'm doing everything OK. 894 00:40:23,520 --> 00:40:25,110 I think the communication is great. 895 00:40:25,120 --> 00:40:26,950 I think the honesty is great as well. 896 00:40:26,960 --> 00:40:29,030 You're giving it everything, and that's all I wanted. 897 00:40:29,040 --> 00:40:30,510 Dean, what we've seen here 898 00:40:30,520 --> 00:40:33,230 is you kind of rescuing Sarah in this. 899 00:40:33,240 --> 00:40:34,670 That says a lot about you 900 00:40:34,680 --> 00:40:37,190 in terms of the kind-hearted person that you are. 901 00:40:37,200 --> 00:40:38,670 But I think at the moment, 902 00:40:38,680 --> 00:40:43,230 it feels a little bit like, Dean, you're willing to modify behaviour, 903 00:40:43,240 --> 00:40:45,350 you're willing to reel in the singing a little bit 904 00:40:45,360 --> 00:40:47,030 and the rapping, 905 00:40:47,040 --> 00:40:50,430 but what we're asking, Sara, is what are you willing to do? 906 00:40:50,440 --> 00:40:52,670 What are you willing to change? 907 00:40:52,680 --> 00:40:53,760 I don't know. 908 00:40:55,320 --> 00:40:57,110 So I've got something for you. 909 00:40:57,120 --> 00:40:58,880 Oh, God. OK. 910 00:41:00,760 --> 00:41:05,480 You could begin by stopping the disrespect of your husband. 911 00:41:09,080 --> 00:41:10,430 Let me take you to the dinner party. 912 00:41:10,440 --> 00:41:11,630 OK. 913 00:41:11,640 --> 00:41:15,310 Someone disrespects you, what are they doing? 914 00:41:15,320 --> 00:41:16,560 Well, they're being rude. 915 00:41:17,760 --> 00:41:21,150 They're being rude. What else? They're being mean. 916 00:41:21,160 --> 00:41:23,230 Do you think that you were rude 917 00:41:23,240 --> 00:41:26,480 while talking about your partner at the dinner party? 918 00:41:29,400 --> 00:41:31,190 Oh, it's gonna kill him, this. 919 00:41:31,200 --> 00:41:33,390 I mean, I may be sad you'd given me the ick 920 00:41:33,400 --> 00:41:35,320 with some things that you'd said. 921 00:41:38,840 --> 00:41:41,360 So in other words, you disrespected your husband. 922 00:41:44,440 --> 00:41:47,430 I get the challenge around physical attraction, 923 00:41:47,440 --> 00:41:49,390 but where you absolutely lost me 924 00:41:49,400 --> 00:41:52,590 is when you went around gossiping about your husband 925 00:41:52,600 --> 00:41:54,880 to other people, and you were laughing at it. 926 00:41:56,120 --> 00:41:58,510 Was I? I was a joke. I didn't mean to laugh. 927 00:41:58,520 --> 00:42:00,870 Well, you were. OK. And I thought, 928 00:42:00,880 --> 00:42:05,150 "This man is talking about how lovely his partner is 929 00:42:05,160 --> 00:42:08,520 "and you are on the other side of the room disrespecting him." 930 00:42:10,240 --> 00:42:12,160 I don't think I did it that much, did I? 931 00:42:13,280 --> 00:42:15,390 You know what? Disrespect... I know, I know. 932 00:42:15,400 --> 00:42:18,080 ...one iota of disrespect is too much. 933 00:42:28,240 --> 00:42:31,200 You are on the other side of the room disrespecting him. 934 00:42:33,320 --> 00:42:35,950 I don't think I did it that much, did I? 935 00:42:35,960 --> 00:42:38,350 You know what? Disrespect... I know, I know. 936 00:42:38,360 --> 00:42:40,760 ...one iota of disrespect is too much. 937 00:42:48,880 --> 00:42:50,030 I'm so sorry. 938 00:42:50,040 --> 00:42:52,150 I'm sorry. 939 00:42:52,160 --> 00:42:54,550 These relationships are a two-way street. 940 00:42:54,560 --> 00:42:57,070 And really, what I want you to think about is - 941 00:42:57,080 --> 00:43:00,310 how can I be considerate to my partner? 942 00:43:00,320 --> 00:43:03,870 Yeah. There's no excuse for saying what I said yesterday 943 00:43:03,880 --> 00:43:05,360 and I really apologise. 944 00:43:06,720 --> 00:43:08,710 Dean, are you OK? 945 00:43:08,720 --> 00:43:10,230 I was... Kind of caught me off, that. 946 00:43:10,240 --> 00:43:13,000 Yeah. If I'm being real, yeah, that caught me off. Yeah, yeah. 947 00:43:16,480 --> 00:43:18,550 I found yesterday really hard as well. 948 00:43:18,560 --> 00:43:19,950 I'm sorry. 949 00:43:19,960 --> 00:43:22,870 This couch is a very difficult place, 950 00:43:22,880 --> 00:43:24,310 but it is a place 951 00:43:24,320 --> 00:43:27,280 where relationships are broken or where they grow. 952 00:43:29,000 --> 00:43:32,550 Now the physical and sexual attraction is significant, 953 00:43:32,560 --> 00:43:36,270 but the best antidote is just to say, 954 00:43:36,280 --> 00:43:42,270 how can I every day work on strengthening my relationship? 955 00:43:42,280 --> 00:43:45,270 And as long as you are continuing to make progress 956 00:43:45,280 --> 00:43:47,030 week after week after week, 957 00:43:47,040 --> 00:43:49,640 think of where you'll be at the end. 958 00:43:51,440 --> 00:43:54,870 On that note, I would like to go to a decision. 959 00:43:54,880 --> 00:43:58,680 OK. And I would love to start with Dean first. 960 00:44:05,480 --> 00:44:09,030 It's obviously been a proper, like, emotional time, like, together 961 00:44:09,040 --> 00:44:10,910 like, hard and like we're like, 962 00:44:10,920 --> 00:44:12,830 how do we get to that next stage? 963 00:44:12,840 --> 00:44:17,120 Cos how can I make someone fancy me if they don't? 964 00:44:19,400 --> 00:44:21,430 But I do think we have got a good base 965 00:44:21,440 --> 00:44:23,230 and I'm hoping it will come now. 966 00:44:23,240 --> 00:44:24,750 I'm still optimistic. 967 00:44:24,760 --> 00:44:27,310 I think this could be something special, you know, 968 00:44:27,320 --> 00:44:28,590 something different. 969 00:44:28,600 --> 00:44:31,950 So it is a stay. 970 00:44:31,960 --> 00:44:33,960 APPLAUSE 971 00:44:36,480 --> 00:44:38,360 Thank you so much. Sarah. 972 00:44:45,560 --> 00:44:48,350 This journey has just been so up and down. 973 00:44:48,360 --> 00:44:50,920 I can see all of the reasons why we've been matched. 974 00:44:52,640 --> 00:44:55,550 And I really wanted the nice guy and. I've got him 975 00:44:55,560 --> 00:44:58,720 and I just really want it to work because you're such a nice guy. 976 00:45:02,800 --> 00:45:06,630 So I have decided to stay. 977 00:45:06,640 --> 00:45:07,750 Stay. OK. 978 00:45:07,760 --> 00:45:09,840 APPLAUSE 979 00:45:12,680 --> 00:45:15,950 We applaud that you're staying, 980 00:45:15,960 --> 00:45:17,790 and what I would encourage you to do 981 00:45:17,800 --> 00:45:22,470 is think about how every day you can develop something 982 00:45:22,480 --> 00:45:24,630 that is strengthening your relationship. 983 00:45:24,640 --> 00:45:26,400 Thank you. Cheers. Thank you, guys. 984 00:45:48,200 --> 00:45:50,830 It was really hard to hear what Paul had to say, and I apologise. 985 00:45:50,840 --> 00:45:54,030 Yeah. I'm sorry. It's not me. It's not who I am. 986 00:45:54,040 --> 00:45:55,870 And maybe if I did have that spark, 987 00:45:55,880 --> 00:45:59,950 I wouldn't have said anything like that, cos I wouldn't have. 988 00:45:59,960 --> 00:46:01,430 But there's not the spark there. 989 00:46:01,440 --> 00:46:04,070 So that's... That was the only reason why I said it. 990 00:46:04,080 --> 00:46:06,400 I haven't meant it maliciously at all. 991 00:46:07,760 --> 00:46:09,230 I don't want to hurt anyone. 992 00:46:09,240 --> 00:46:10,710 I'm being true to myself, 993 00:46:10,720 --> 00:46:12,910 but then it's coming across really badly so... 994 00:46:12,920 --> 00:46:14,800 SHE SOBS 995 00:46:16,600 --> 00:46:18,400 Yeah, it's been a really hard week. 996 00:46:21,640 --> 00:46:24,070 Hearing that Sarah has been disrespecting me 997 00:46:24,080 --> 00:46:25,310 has caught me off-guard. 998 00:46:25,320 --> 00:46:27,550 That is my probably biggest red flag. 999 00:46:27,560 --> 00:46:31,670 It does hurt me and I can also feel myself like dwindling my shine 1000 00:46:31,680 --> 00:46:33,430 and I don't want to lose me. 1001 00:46:33,440 --> 00:46:35,430 You OK? 1002 00:46:35,440 --> 00:46:38,230 From here, I think we're at a low, 1003 00:46:38,240 --> 00:46:40,270 but I think that's when you bounce back. 1004 00:46:40,280 --> 00:46:41,750 There is so much there. 1005 00:46:41,760 --> 00:46:44,030 Like, I'm still willing to trust and build 1006 00:46:44,040 --> 00:46:45,430 but it can never happen again. 1007 00:46:45,440 --> 00:46:48,000 Are you joking me? It can never ever, happen again. 1008 00:46:55,400 --> 00:46:56,670 Sarah, are you OK? 1009 00:46:56,680 --> 00:46:59,430 Yeah, I just... OK. Yeah. You know, I just feel bad. 1010 00:46:59,440 --> 00:47:01,150 We want everyone to grow, right? 1011 00:47:01,160 --> 00:47:03,910 And so anytime we see something, we'll call it out. 1012 00:47:03,920 --> 00:47:06,550 But if you ever disagree, if there's a disagreement, 1013 00:47:06,560 --> 00:47:08,990 hold us accountable to the disagreement as well. 1014 00:47:09,000 --> 00:47:10,430 OK? 1015 00:47:10,440 --> 00:47:11,680 Thank you. 1016 00:47:14,760 --> 00:47:17,760 Next up to the couch we have Keye. 1017 00:47:23,560 --> 00:47:26,750 Hi, Keye. Hello. Good to see you. Good to see you. 1018 00:47:26,760 --> 00:47:30,030 Sad to see that Davide's not here. Me too. 1019 00:47:30,040 --> 00:47:32,670 So how was your wedding? 1020 00:47:32,680 --> 00:47:34,310 The wedding was amazing. 1021 00:47:34,320 --> 00:47:36,110 I was incredibly nervous, 1022 00:47:36,120 --> 00:47:38,830 but then Davide grabbed both my hands 1023 00:47:38,840 --> 00:47:40,230 and said that he'd got us. 1024 00:47:40,240 --> 00:47:44,230 It kind of calmed me down and made me feel really grounded and safe. 1025 00:47:44,240 --> 00:47:46,550 Lovely. And in terms of attraction, would you say that 1026 00:47:46,560 --> 00:47:48,070 there was a real attraction there? 1027 00:47:48,080 --> 00:47:49,990 Oh, 100%. Have you seen Davide? 1028 00:47:50,000 --> 00:47:51,670 ALL LAUGH 1029 00:47:51,680 --> 00:47:53,110 We've all seen Davide! 1030 00:47:53,120 --> 00:47:55,190 He's got the most beautiful brown eyes 1031 00:47:55,200 --> 00:47:57,070 with these little orange flecks. 1032 00:47:57,080 --> 00:48:00,390 Like, his smile lights up an entire room. 1033 00:48:00,400 --> 00:48:01,880 He's just fantastic. 1034 00:48:03,120 --> 00:48:06,430 It sounds like you guys got off to a really brilliant start. 1035 00:48:06,440 --> 00:48:10,440 Yeah. So let's move on to my favourite question. 1036 00:48:11,760 --> 00:48:13,630 How's the intimacy in your relationship? 1037 00:48:13,640 --> 00:48:16,590 It's wonderful. Thank you. It's great. 1038 00:48:16,600 --> 00:48:19,070 Thank you. I love that response. It's great. 1039 00:48:19,080 --> 00:48:21,670 It feels like you practised that. 1040 00:48:21,680 --> 00:48:23,590 The intimacy or the response? 1041 00:48:23,600 --> 00:48:25,160 LAUGHTER 1042 00:48:26,960 --> 00:48:30,630 The two of you sound like you're in a really good place. 1043 00:48:30,640 --> 00:48:33,680 And it's so lovely to see the progress of this relationship. 1044 00:48:35,000 --> 00:48:38,270 So we know that Davide is a man of many words, 1045 00:48:38,280 --> 00:48:41,760 and he has very kindly written a letter for you. 1046 00:48:45,120 --> 00:48:46,800 Thank you. OK. 1047 00:48:49,840 --> 00:48:51,710 Great. 1048 00:48:51,720 --> 00:48:53,950 "Hey there, you beautiful human. 1049 00:48:53,960 --> 00:48:56,630 "I have no words to explain how amazing you are 1050 00:48:56,640 --> 00:48:58,120 "and how much I adore you. 1051 00:49:00,200 --> 00:49:03,630 "This last week I have seen us go from strength to strength. 1052 00:49:03,640 --> 00:49:07,590 "And I could not be more proud to have you as my husband, 1053 00:49:07,600 --> 00:49:10,430 "my Keye, that I'm falling for. 1054 00:49:10,440 --> 00:49:13,350 "I'm sorry that I'm not there to let you know in person 1055 00:49:13,360 --> 00:49:15,270 "how much you mean to me. 1056 00:49:15,280 --> 00:49:19,790 "So for sure, I'll stay as long as you want me to. Davide." 1057 00:49:19,800 --> 00:49:21,070 Aw! 1058 00:49:21,080 --> 00:49:23,000 APPLAUSE 1059 00:49:25,360 --> 00:49:27,430 Powerful words. Yeah, it means a lot. 1060 00:49:27,440 --> 00:49:29,630 It means everything. Yeah. 1061 00:49:29,640 --> 00:49:33,070 We know what Davide's response is to you. 1062 00:49:33,080 --> 00:49:34,840 What's your decision? Um... 1063 00:49:35,920 --> 00:49:39,310 Davide is finding ways to make me smile every single day. 1064 00:49:39,320 --> 00:49:41,190 I'm honestly loving absolutely every second 1065 00:49:41,200 --> 00:49:43,280 and can safely say I am falling for him, too. 1066 00:49:44,720 --> 00:49:46,910 Which no one tell him before I get a chance to. 1067 00:49:46,920 --> 00:49:48,470 LAUGHTER 1068 00:49:48,480 --> 00:49:50,590 So I will, of course, stay. 1069 00:49:50,600 --> 00:49:52,360 APPLAUSE 1070 00:49:54,480 --> 00:49:56,190 Nice, nice. 1071 00:49:56,200 --> 00:49:58,350 Thank you so much, Keye. 1072 00:49:58,360 --> 00:50:00,470 We love love, so it's so amazing 1073 00:50:00,480 --> 00:50:02,790 to see how well the two of you are matched. 1074 00:50:02,800 --> 00:50:06,080 Fabulous. Thank you so much. Good luck. Thank you. OK. 1075 00:50:10,280 --> 00:50:12,720 So frame that. I am framing it. 1076 00:50:13,800 --> 00:50:16,280 Next on the couch, if we could have... 1077 00:50:21,040 --> 00:50:23,310 ...Leigh and Leah. Come on up. 1078 00:50:23,320 --> 00:50:25,480 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 1079 00:50:27,760 --> 00:50:28,880 Yeah! 1080 00:50:30,000 --> 00:50:31,310 Hi, ladies. 1081 00:50:31,320 --> 00:50:32,790 LEAH SIGHS 1082 00:50:32,800 --> 00:50:35,150 How are you both? Good. Phenomenal. 1083 00:50:35,160 --> 00:50:37,950 All right. Can we start with the wedding? 1084 00:50:37,960 --> 00:50:39,790 It was just a mad experience. 1085 00:50:39,800 --> 00:50:41,870 Yeah. It was surreal. 1086 00:50:41,880 --> 00:50:44,230 So what did you think when you saw Leigh? 1087 00:50:44,240 --> 00:50:45,950 I thought she was really cute. 1088 00:50:45,960 --> 00:50:47,310 And obviously she's beautiful. 1089 00:50:47,320 --> 00:50:49,830 I think straight away I just had this, like, thing in my head. 1090 00:50:49,840 --> 00:50:52,870 I was like, she's gonna be an annoying little princess. 1091 00:50:52,880 --> 00:50:54,870 I think cos I've seen, like, princess dress. 1092 00:50:54,880 --> 00:50:56,910 And then I seen she has a little bit of attitude 1093 00:50:56,920 --> 00:50:58,760 and I thought, "Nah, she's all right." 1094 00:51:00,000 --> 00:51:02,920 All right. So, Leah, what did you think? 1095 00:51:05,960 --> 00:51:07,630 I think it was just a bit of a shock 1096 00:51:07,640 --> 00:51:10,590 because it's like so far from what I would normally go for 1097 00:51:10,600 --> 00:51:12,350 in a romantic sense. 1098 00:51:12,360 --> 00:51:15,440 I never go for more feminine women. 1099 00:51:16,760 --> 00:51:19,070 It's not just about physical type, 1100 00:51:19,080 --> 00:51:21,310 like hair colour or eye colour or things like that. 1101 00:51:21,320 --> 00:51:25,670 I've never felt physically attracted to a girly woman. 1102 00:51:25,680 --> 00:51:27,030 I can appreciate their beauty. 1103 00:51:27,040 --> 00:51:28,750 I can say that they look stunning, 1104 00:51:28,760 --> 00:51:30,150 which Leah absolutely is, 1105 00:51:30,160 --> 00:51:34,670 but there's like a persona of a person in the gay community 1106 00:51:34,680 --> 00:51:36,390 that I am usually attracted to, 1107 00:51:36,400 --> 00:51:38,880 and Leah is not that person. 1108 00:51:39,960 --> 00:51:42,870 Fair enough. And that's a great explanation. 1109 00:51:42,880 --> 00:51:46,590 But I've realised since being in this experiment with Leah 1110 00:51:46,600 --> 00:51:49,390 that I've spent the last year and a bit, 1111 00:51:49,400 --> 00:51:50,830 since I became single, 1112 00:51:50,840 --> 00:51:54,430 building myself up from being really let down by someone, 1113 00:51:54,440 --> 00:51:58,750 and I've realised I've shut myself off 1114 00:51:58,760 --> 00:52:02,190 so much from when I was hurt 1115 00:52:02,200 --> 00:52:05,350 that I'm now struggling to turn it back on. 1116 00:52:05,360 --> 00:52:08,030 I'm like, I don't know how to get it going again. 1117 00:52:08,040 --> 00:52:09,910 Leigh, what you're telling us is that, 1118 00:52:09,920 --> 00:52:13,470 "Hey, I've had the door shut and it was bolted shut 1119 00:52:13,480 --> 00:52:16,670 "and I'm now just taking the locks off of the door." 1120 00:52:16,680 --> 00:52:20,630 So, challenging to start... Yeah. ..a marriage like this. 1121 00:52:20,640 --> 00:52:25,150 Mm-hm. All right. But now the work that you need to do is 1122 00:52:25,160 --> 00:52:30,190 how do you establish a stronger emotional connection? 1123 00:52:30,200 --> 00:52:32,550 And I think the beauty is that the result 1124 00:52:32,560 --> 00:52:34,590 is going to be positive no matter what. 1125 00:52:34,600 --> 00:52:37,430 Like, it's going to lead to a better understanding of self. Yeah. 1126 00:52:37,440 --> 00:52:38,510 It maybe just leads to, 1127 00:52:38,520 --> 00:52:41,790 "You know what, I'm now willing to open the door all the way." 1128 00:52:41,800 --> 00:52:43,110 Right? Mm. 1129 00:52:43,120 --> 00:52:45,110 But no matter what, it's going to be a win. 1130 00:52:45,120 --> 00:52:47,910 Yeah. I think the worry is, 1131 00:52:47,920 --> 00:52:50,390 like, how do we get to the next step? 1132 00:52:50,400 --> 00:52:51,950 This is a popular question. 1133 00:52:51,960 --> 00:52:54,030 How do you get out of the friend zone? 1134 00:52:54,040 --> 00:52:57,310 I find one of the most productive strategies 1135 00:52:57,320 --> 00:53:02,110 is to think about how you would behave outside of the friend zone 1136 00:53:02,120 --> 00:53:03,430 and just behave like that. 1137 00:53:03,440 --> 00:53:05,430 That's what I have actually been trying to do. 1138 00:53:05,440 --> 00:53:06,710 Like, I'm a little bit more... 1139 00:53:06,720 --> 00:53:09,070 OK, I need to be vulnerable, I need to be open. 1140 00:53:09,080 --> 00:53:11,030 I don't even feel like you're necessarily, like, 1141 00:53:11,040 --> 00:53:12,350 going through these paces, though, 1142 00:53:12,360 --> 00:53:15,390 cos you are just being open and vulnerable. 1143 00:53:15,400 --> 00:53:16,710 Yeah. You know what I mean? 1144 00:53:16,720 --> 00:53:19,190 I'm still trying. Like, I'm trying to be like that. 1145 00:53:19,200 --> 00:53:20,630 If I'm honest, I feel like 1146 00:53:20,640 --> 00:53:23,150 who's more willing to make this work? 100% me. 1147 00:53:23,160 --> 00:53:24,600 Yeah. In my opinion. 1148 00:53:26,520 --> 00:53:28,710 You are making more of an effort. You are being tactile. 1149 00:53:28,720 --> 00:53:31,800 You are doing all of these things and I'm not able to get there. 1150 00:53:33,480 --> 00:53:36,310 Leah, if you were not in the friend zone, 1151 00:53:36,320 --> 00:53:38,670 what would your relationship look like? 1152 00:53:38,680 --> 00:53:41,350 I think being more tactile with one another, 1153 00:53:41,360 --> 00:53:43,550 maybe more flirty with one another, 1154 00:53:43,560 --> 00:53:45,800 having a snog now and again. OK. 1155 00:53:47,120 --> 00:53:49,350 Everything that you've said that you need 1156 00:53:49,360 --> 00:53:50,550 is what I would be 1157 00:53:50,560 --> 00:53:52,640 if those natural feelings were there. 1158 00:53:53,960 --> 00:53:56,910 But I've just had a block there. It's stopping me from doing it 1159 00:53:56,920 --> 00:53:59,230 cos I've never wanted to feel like I'm leading Leah on. 1160 00:53:59,240 --> 00:54:01,150 I just don't see it as that deep. 1161 00:54:01,160 --> 00:54:03,350 I can have a flirt and have a snog now and again. 1162 00:54:03,360 --> 00:54:04,750 I don't see it that deep. 1163 00:54:04,760 --> 00:54:07,030 And it's never going to lead me on. 1164 00:54:07,040 --> 00:54:08,430 I overthink it a bit. 1165 00:54:08,440 --> 00:54:10,790 She overthinks. I'm not an overthinker. 1166 00:54:10,800 --> 00:54:13,310 At the end of the day, I would encourage you 1167 00:54:13,320 --> 00:54:17,270 to experiment with what the behaviour is 1168 00:54:17,280 --> 00:54:18,830 to be out of the friend zone. 1169 00:54:18,840 --> 00:54:20,840 Whatever that is, practise that. 1170 00:54:22,880 --> 00:54:24,630 So let's go to the decision. 1171 00:54:24,640 --> 00:54:26,160 Leah, you'll go first. 1172 00:54:28,240 --> 00:54:31,990 I feel like it has been a tough week for me this week, 1173 00:54:32,000 --> 00:54:35,550 but I'm optimistic and I'm very hopeful. 1174 00:54:35,560 --> 00:54:39,630 I see why we've been matched in so many different ways, 1175 00:54:39,640 --> 00:54:42,070 and I'm happy and grateful of being matched with her. 1176 00:54:42,080 --> 00:54:43,790 So I vote stay. 1177 00:54:43,800 --> 00:54:45,920 APPLAUSE 1178 00:54:50,960 --> 00:54:54,150 I know that I've been a little bit difficult to deal with 1179 00:54:54,160 --> 00:54:56,880 because my head's been a little bit all over the place. 1180 00:54:59,360 --> 00:55:01,070 You've been so patient 1181 00:55:01,080 --> 00:55:04,270 and still throwing yourself into it 100% 1182 00:55:04,280 --> 00:55:06,390 and being completely vulnerable with me, 1183 00:55:06,400 --> 00:55:09,030 even when I haven't been able to give that back to you. 1184 00:55:09,040 --> 00:55:10,800 And so that I'm really grateful for. 1185 00:55:14,960 --> 00:55:17,470 Yeah, and I am hopeful to see where it goes. 1186 00:55:17,480 --> 00:55:19,510 So for that reason I wrote stay. 1187 00:55:19,520 --> 00:55:21,480 APPLAUSE 1188 00:55:26,680 --> 00:55:28,270 Well done to both of you. 1189 00:55:28,280 --> 00:55:29,990 Stop overthinking everything. 1190 00:55:30,000 --> 00:55:32,390 I'm gonna try. Right? Just be in the moment. 1191 00:55:32,400 --> 00:55:34,470 Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you. 1192 00:55:34,480 --> 00:55:36,840 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 1193 00:55:46,440 --> 00:55:49,030 Next up to the couch, if we can have Anita and Paul. 1194 00:55:49,040 --> 00:55:51,520 APPLAUSE 1195 00:55:56,520 --> 00:55:58,670 Oof! Hey, guys. Hi. Hey, hey. 1196 00:55:58,680 --> 00:56:01,430 Hi. How are you both? 1197 00:56:01,440 --> 00:56:02,830 OK, yeah. Yeah, yeah. 1198 00:56:02,840 --> 00:56:05,710 OK. All right. Yeah. Let's go to the wedding. 1199 00:56:05,720 --> 00:56:08,070 Anita, what were your thoughts? 1200 00:56:08,080 --> 00:56:09,790 There was a fun element straight away. 1201 00:56:09,800 --> 00:56:11,830 We kind of laughed nearly all day, didn't we? 1202 00:56:11,840 --> 00:56:14,350 Yeah. Yeah, it was a good day. 1203 00:56:14,360 --> 00:56:15,670 All right. 1204 00:56:15,680 --> 00:56:17,590 Paul, how was the day for you? 1205 00:56:17,600 --> 00:56:20,510 It was excitement, then laughter. 1206 00:56:20,520 --> 00:56:22,510 Conversation was very easy. 1207 00:56:22,520 --> 00:56:24,590 After talking for a while, 1208 00:56:24,600 --> 00:56:27,110 I thought there was potential to build. 1209 00:56:27,120 --> 00:56:29,950 I thought, "OK, now it begins." 1210 00:56:29,960 --> 00:56:31,470 Now it begins. 1211 00:56:31,480 --> 00:56:34,350 All right, so you're looking forward to the honeymoon? 1212 00:56:34,360 --> 00:56:38,510 Yeah. I thought we could build from the wedding day. 1213 00:56:38,520 --> 00:56:41,190 Anita, are you looking forward to the honeymoon? 1214 00:56:41,200 --> 00:56:44,230 Yeah, because he is a fun guy to be around. 1215 00:56:44,240 --> 00:56:46,110 He did make me laugh nearly all day. 1216 00:56:46,120 --> 00:56:50,590 So, yeah, going forward, I knew we could have a good time. 1217 00:56:50,600 --> 00:56:52,150 So as we go into the honeymoon, 1218 00:56:52,160 --> 00:56:55,230 you begin to investigate shared values, 1219 00:56:55,240 --> 00:56:56,910 shared outlook on life. 1220 00:56:56,920 --> 00:56:59,950 What did you notice that the two of you shared? 1221 00:56:59,960 --> 00:57:02,150 So much. So much? OK. Like what? 1222 00:57:02,160 --> 00:57:03,710 We've got the same values. 1223 00:57:03,720 --> 00:57:05,830 Same values? Yeah. Family orientated. 1224 00:57:05,840 --> 00:57:08,590 OK. Same morals. All right. 1225 00:57:08,600 --> 00:57:11,270 It feels like things are good. 1226 00:57:11,280 --> 00:57:14,790 The outside stuff matched us perfectly, 1227 00:57:14,800 --> 00:57:16,870 but when it comes to the inner deep stuff, 1228 00:57:16,880 --> 00:57:19,270 the emotional and the attraction, 1229 00:57:19,280 --> 00:57:21,840 we couldn't be so far apart on the scale. 1230 00:57:23,120 --> 00:57:27,790 Paul's a good talker, but when you pin him down to talk, 1231 00:57:27,800 --> 00:57:31,670 he deviates around the relationship side. 1232 00:57:31,680 --> 00:57:33,310 So are you really saying 1233 00:57:33,320 --> 00:57:37,990 Paul wasn't emotionally connecting with you? 1234 00:57:38,000 --> 00:57:40,750 No connection, no emotional connection. 1235 00:57:40,760 --> 00:57:42,510 No communication. 1236 00:57:42,520 --> 00:57:45,590 Yeah, just miles apart. 1237 00:57:45,600 --> 00:57:47,030 OK, OK. 1238 00:57:47,040 --> 00:57:49,470 To be fair, I didn't really give Anita 1239 00:57:49,480 --> 00:57:51,550 anything emotional to grip on to. 1240 00:57:51,560 --> 00:57:53,430 All my other barriers are down. Right. 1241 00:57:53,440 --> 00:57:54,950 All my cards are on the table. 1242 00:57:54,960 --> 00:57:57,550 And I think Anita knows that. And she saw them. 1243 00:57:57,560 --> 00:58:00,480 I struggle to open up emotionally. It's hard for me. 1244 00:58:01,640 --> 00:58:04,670 Paul, when you and I met on a one-to-one, 1245 00:58:04,680 --> 00:58:06,590 I felt like you were quite open. 1246 00:58:06,600 --> 00:58:07,830 So I'm wondering, 1247 00:58:07,840 --> 00:58:11,870 was there something that you needed in this interaction 1248 00:58:11,880 --> 00:58:16,230 to made you feel a little bit more able to open up? 1249 00:58:16,240 --> 00:58:19,350 I can interact all day. I can talk to you all day. 1250 00:58:19,360 --> 00:58:22,630 When it comes to affairs of the heart with the opposite sex 1251 00:58:22,640 --> 00:58:24,870 in a relationship, I'm a different beast. 1252 00:58:24,880 --> 00:58:27,150 That's when it feels a bit difficult to do? 1253 00:58:27,160 --> 00:58:30,390 It feels extremely awkward and difficult, yeah. 1254 00:58:30,400 --> 00:58:35,070 It sounds like on the honeymoon, Anita, you were observing Paul 1255 00:58:35,080 --> 00:58:37,990 in terms of his emotional availability. 1256 00:58:38,000 --> 00:58:40,630 You have placed him in this box, 1257 00:58:40,640 --> 00:58:43,950 but it sounds like you've permanently placed him in the box 1258 00:58:43,960 --> 00:58:47,760 because everyone can become emotionally available. 1259 00:58:49,400 --> 00:58:50,430 Did you feel like 1260 00:58:50,440 --> 00:58:54,510 because he's not bringing that to the table now, 1261 00:58:54,520 --> 00:58:56,550 I want nothing to do with him? 1262 00:58:56,560 --> 00:58:59,030 No. I put him in that box 1263 00:58:59,040 --> 00:59:03,600 because he said he wasn't in that headspace to be available. 1264 00:59:04,680 --> 00:59:08,030 He's on a self-discovery journey and I'm on a love journey. 1265 00:59:08,040 --> 00:59:10,030 So until he's discovered himself 1266 00:59:10,040 --> 00:59:12,990 and found out what he actually really needs in his life... 1267 00:59:13,000 --> 00:59:15,350 Are those two mutually exclusive? 1268 00:59:15,360 --> 00:59:16,670 They're on different paths. 1269 00:59:16,680 --> 00:59:18,360 Are they, Anita? 1270 00:59:20,120 --> 00:59:21,360 I have no idea. 1271 00:59:22,760 --> 00:59:25,590 What we're saying is that the two can exist together, 1272 00:59:25,600 --> 00:59:28,470 so you can be on a journey to find love 1273 00:59:28,480 --> 00:59:32,390 and you can also find yourself on that journey as well. 1274 00:59:32,400 --> 00:59:34,150 Yeah. OK. All right. 1275 00:59:34,160 --> 00:59:35,630 Honeymoon is done. 1276 00:59:35,640 --> 00:59:37,510 Yep. You move into the apartments. 1277 00:59:37,520 --> 00:59:39,110 Ish. 1278 00:59:39,120 --> 00:59:40,270 Ish? 1279 00:59:40,280 --> 00:59:43,470 For about ten minutes. What happened? 1280 00:59:43,480 --> 00:59:46,830 Went into the apartments, and I just thought, 1281 00:59:46,840 --> 00:59:48,830 "I just don't know if I can do this." 1282 00:59:48,840 --> 00:59:50,790 The thing that tipped me over the edge, 1283 00:59:50,800 --> 00:59:52,750 it was like a make or break thing in my head. 1284 00:59:52,760 --> 00:59:54,870 It was just like, "Paul, what's the name of my two children?" 1285 00:59:54,880 --> 00:59:56,120 And he just went... 1286 00:59:58,320 --> 01:00:00,710 That was the communication thing. 1287 01:00:00,720 --> 01:00:04,110 And the lack of interest in me was kind of like, well... 1288 01:00:04,120 --> 01:00:05,670 SHE SCOFFS 1289 01:00:05,680 --> 01:00:08,670 And was that because Paul hadn't asked you 1290 01:00:08,680 --> 01:00:10,270 the names of your children? 1291 01:00:10,280 --> 01:00:12,990 I've spoke about my children. I've actually said their names. 1292 01:00:13,000 --> 01:00:15,350 Right. The grandchildren as well, I've spoke about them. 1293 01:00:15,360 --> 01:00:18,310 So you felt like Paul just wasn't listening to you, 1294 01:00:18,320 --> 01:00:21,790 and because he wasn't listening, he wasn't truly interested in you? 1295 01:00:21,800 --> 01:00:23,870 Yeah. OK. 1296 01:00:23,880 --> 01:00:27,750 In my brain, there's no real point of pursuing it. 1297 01:00:27,760 --> 01:00:29,350 OK. It's interesting. 1298 01:00:29,360 --> 01:00:31,150 So, Paul, what's your take? 1299 01:00:31,160 --> 01:00:32,830 I have my children's tattooed names 1300 01:00:32,840 --> 01:00:35,030 and dates of birth on my arm for a reason, 1301 01:00:35,040 --> 01:00:36,590 cos I can't remember nothing. 1302 01:00:36,600 --> 01:00:39,950 I talk constantly and I put all my cards on the table 1303 01:00:39,960 --> 01:00:41,510 cos that's how I operate. 1304 01:00:41,520 --> 01:00:44,270 I volunteer the information. 1305 01:00:44,280 --> 01:00:47,320 How Anita operates is she likes to be asked the information. 1306 01:00:51,120 --> 01:00:53,150 So... 1307 01:00:53,160 --> 01:00:55,230 At the end of the day, why are you here? 1308 01:00:55,240 --> 01:00:57,270 To find love. 1309 01:00:57,280 --> 01:00:59,270 Well, what does that mean to you? 1310 01:00:59,280 --> 01:01:00,880 A partner in crime. 1311 01:01:02,360 --> 01:01:04,710 Somebody to walk alongside us. 1312 01:01:04,720 --> 01:01:06,750 Still be holding hands when we're 80. 1313 01:01:06,760 --> 01:01:08,240 Somebody who's there for you. 1314 01:01:10,320 --> 01:01:13,520 Now, Paul, what do you want? 1315 01:01:17,120 --> 01:01:19,950 Invariably, I want to find a partner, I want to find love. 1316 01:01:19,960 --> 01:01:22,880 I want to cry with somebody. Laugh with someone. 1317 01:01:24,320 --> 01:01:28,590 So how is what you just said, Paul, and what you just said, Anita, 1318 01:01:28,600 --> 01:01:31,910 different in terms of what you're looking for? 1319 01:01:31,920 --> 01:01:33,320 Or is it the same? 1320 01:01:34,480 --> 01:01:35,790 I want love. 1321 01:01:35,800 --> 01:01:39,390 Is what you described what Paul just described? 1322 01:01:39,400 --> 01:01:41,440 Yeah. OK, so what's the problem? 1323 01:01:43,560 --> 01:01:45,030 Ultimately, you both said 1324 01:01:45,040 --> 01:01:47,710 you want to have someone who will support you. 1325 01:01:47,720 --> 01:01:50,710 And I think that's the place to remain focussed on 1326 01:01:50,720 --> 01:01:52,440 is be each other's support. 1327 01:01:54,880 --> 01:01:56,640 Can we go to a decision? 1328 01:01:59,480 --> 01:02:00,880 Anita. 1329 01:02:04,680 --> 01:02:06,200 Paul's a lovely man. 1330 01:02:07,840 --> 01:02:09,350 He's the gentleman I asked for, 1331 01:02:09,360 --> 01:02:10,840 who he really is attentive. 1332 01:02:12,320 --> 01:02:15,600 I'm totally seeing why you matched us up... 1333 01:02:17,480 --> 01:02:20,160 ...but I still feel that I'm missing something. 1334 01:02:25,440 --> 01:02:27,240 So for that reason... 1335 01:02:28,600 --> 01:02:29,960 ...I wrote leave. 1336 01:02:45,720 --> 01:02:46,920 I'm missing something. 1337 01:02:52,160 --> 01:02:53,920 So for that reason... 1338 01:02:55,400 --> 01:02:56,760 ...I wrote leave. 1339 01:03:05,240 --> 01:03:06,950 So, Paul? 1340 01:03:06,960 --> 01:03:08,240 Um... 1341 01:03:11,360 --> 01:03:15,470 For me, it's about building that trust and respect, 1342 01:03:15,480 --> 01:03:17,600 building that emotional bond. 1343 01:03:19,240 --> 01:03:20,950 I'm sorry it wasn't happening at the start. 1344 01:03:20,960 --> 01:03:22,710 I do apologise for that. 1345 01:03:22,720 --> 01:03:25,640 I feel a little bit inadequate that I didn't provide that. 1346 01:03:26,840 --> 01:03:28,160 That's alright. 1347 01:03:34,520 --> 01:03:37,070 But it's the start of the journey. I'm going to stay. 1348 01:03:37,080 --> 01:03:38,430 CHEERING 1349 01:03:38,440 --> 01:03:39,680 Yes, Paul! 1350 01:03:43,040 --> 01:03:47,230 So if one person writes stay, 1351 01:03:47,240 --> 01:03:49,470 then the couple must stay 1352 01:03:49,480 --> 01:03:52,960 and continue to work on their relationship. 1353 01:03:54,600 --> 01:03:56,550 Now let me give you my opinion. 1354 01:03:56,560 --> 01:04:00,390 The miscommunication is in the listening 1355 01:04:00,400 --> 01:04:02,270 and the asking of the questions. 1356 01:04:02,280 --> 01:04:06,640 If those are done, this relationship becomes stronger. 1357 01:04:08,280 --> 01:04:10,280 So are you prepared to give this a go? 1358 01:04:18,000 --> 01:04:18,990 Yep. 1359 01:04:19,000 --> 01:04:20,430 SMALL CHEER 1360 01:04:20,440 --> 01:04:22,400 APPLAUSE 1361 01:04:23,600 --> 01:04:25,910 Paul, are you prepared to give this a go? 1362 01:04:25,920 --> 01:04:27,430 Yes. 1363 01:04:27,440 --> 01:04:29,910 CHEERING 1364 01:04:29,920 --> 01:04:31,110 SHE EXHALES 1365 01:04:31,120 --> 01:04:33,310 Paul, clearly, you have homework to do here. 1366 01:04:33,320 --> 01:04:35,550 Yep. And, Anita, if you think about 1367 01:04:35,560 --> 01:04:38,590 what can you be doing to strengthen the relationship. 1368 01:04:38,600 --> 01:04:40,830 Thank you, both. Thank you. Thanks very much. 1369 01:04:40,840 --> 01:04:42,200 Thank you, guys. Thank you. 1370 01:04:44,600 --> 01:04:48,710 I wrote leave because what's the point in wasting time? 1371 01:04:48,720 --> 01:04:51,390 I'm hoping that Paul takes the expert's advice 1372 01:04:51,400 --> 01:04:53,790 and he has listened this time. 1373 01:04:53,800 --> 01:04:57,350 Doesn't listen much to me, so hopefully he has a light bulb moment 1374 01:04:57,360 --> 01:04:59,880 and thinks, "Yeah, I've got to try opening up." 1375 01:05:01,080 --> 01:05:04,070 Rejection is a very difficult thing to cope with. 1376 01:05:04,080 --> 01:05:06,870 A little bit disappointed that she doesn't want to try. 1377 01:05:06,880 --> 01:05:09,710 It's only been eight days. Really? 1378 01:05:09,720 --> 01:05:13,310 I'm hoping Anita can look at the differences we've got 1379 01:05:13,320 --> 01:05:16,120 and work together to build the marriage going forward. 1380 01:05:19,040 --> 01:05:20,640 Next up to the couch... 1381 01:05:24,680 --> 01:05:25,830 ...we have Maeve. 1382 01:05:25,840 --> 01:05:27,680 CHEERING 1383 01:05:29,840 --> 01:05:32,190 Hiya. Hi, Maeve. You all right? Yeah. 1384 01:05:32,200 --> 01:05:33,670 Lovely to see you. How are you? 1385 01:05:33,680 --> 01:05:36,510 Of course, Joe's not feeling very well, 1386 01:05:36,520 --> 01:05:38,310 so we're just really keen to know 1387 01:05:38,320 --> 01:05:40,870 how the whole process has been for you. 1388 01:05:40,880 --> 01:05:43,070 So take me back to the wedding. 1389 01:05:43,080 --> 01:05:46,150 What were your first impressions of Joe? 1390 01:05:46,160 --> 01:05:47,830 I was a little bit intimidated. 1391 01:05:47,840 --> 01:05:50,710 Like, I couldn't make eye contact with him. 1392 01:05:50,720 --> 01:05:52,910 He was looking at me, and I was just like... 1393 01:05:52,920 --> 01:05:54,630 Like, I couldn't look at him. 1394 01:05:54,640 --> 01:05:57,310 What do you think was going on there for you? 1395 01:05:57,320 --> 01:05:59,510 He's very good looking and I'm just thinking, like, 1396 01:05:59,520 --> 01:06:03,200 "Oh, my God, he's not going to find me attractive whatsoever." 1397 01:06:05,160 --> 01:06:08,110 Feels was quite sad to hear you say that. 1398 01:06:08,120 --> 01:06:09,790 Because I've always got that self doubt about us, 1399 01:06:09,800 --> 01:06:11,070 do you know what I mean? 1400 01:06:11,080 --> 01:06:13,110 Cos I always go on like I'm loud and confident, 1401 01:06:13,120 --> 01:06:15,350 but I am quite, like, shy inside. 1402 01:06:15,360 --> 01:06:19,800 And when I saw him I thought, "Nah, he's not gonna like us." 1403 01:06:22,080 --> 01:06:26,390 Sounded like you felt a bit intimidated when you saw Joe. 1404 01:06:26,400 --> 01:06:28,190 Yeah. 1405 01:06:28,200 --> 01:06:30,270 And then you went on honeymoon? 1406 01:06:30,280 --> 01:06:32,000 Yeah. What happened? 1407 01:06:33,880 --> 01:06:36,590 I argued with him, and he said something, 1408 01:06:36,600 --> 01:06:39,590 and I took it out of context completely. 1409 01:06:39,600 --> 01:06:42,190 I could feel myself getting angry with him, 1410 01:06:42,200 --> 01:06:44,670 and I had to take myself out of the situation 1411 01:06:44,680 --> 01:06:47,550 because I thought, "I don't want to be angry at you." 1412 01:06:47,560 --> 01:06:51,030 Do you think because you felt quite intimidated 1413 01:06:51,040 --> 01:06:54,750 that made you think, "OK, let me kind of ruffle feathers here?" 1414 01:06:54,760 --> 01:06:57,270 Yeah. I could feel myself bubbling up, thinking, 1415 01:06:57,280 --> 01:06:59,150 "I'm gonna kick off. I'm gonna kick off." 1416 01:06:59,160 --> 01:07:01,430 So you felt quite triggered in that moment? Mm-hm. 1417 01:07:01,440 --> 01:07:03,430 OK. I could feel myself liking him 1418 01:07:03,440 --> 01:07:04,510 and I was thinking, 1419 01:07:04,520 --> 01:07:06,670 "I don't want to go through the heartache again. 1420 01:07:06,680 --> 01:07:08,430 "I don't want to go through the shit times again." 1421 01:07:08,440 --> 01:07:10,190 I can't do it. I can't, I can't... 1422 01:07:10,200 --> 01:07:14,670 Like, I'm trying to be vulnerable but I really struggle doing that. 1423 01:07:14,680 --> 01:07:17,270 I don't want people to see that side. 1424 01:07:17,280 --> 01:07:20,990 And how did you resolve the argument with Joe? 1425 01:07:21,000 --> 01:07:23,110 You know, when I said I want someone to speak to us softly, 1426 01:07:23,120 --> 01:07:26,190 like, when I'm having bad moments, that's exactly what he did. 1427 01:07:26,200 --> 01:07:27,990 My heart... 1428 01:07:28,000 --> 01:07:29,710 Aw! 1429 01:07:29,720 --> 01:07:32,510 And, like, I'm just so grateful that that's what he did, 1430 01:07:32,520 --> 01:07:35,950 cos I know I'm not an easy person to be around when I'm like that. 1431 01:07:35,960 --> 01:07:39,990 He's so nice. There's so much more to him than what he looks like 1432 01:07:40,000 --> 01:07:42,390 He's absolutely incredible. 1433 01:07:42,400 --> 01:07:43,670 Yeah. I was getting in my head. 1434 01:07:43,680 --> 01:07:45,510 I was thinking, "Oh, my God, I like him. I like him. 1435 01:07:45,520 --> 01:07:47,750 "What am I going to do here?" 1436 01:07:47,760 --> 01:07:49,590 I don't want to be nasty to him. 1437 01:07:49,600 --> 01:07:51,470 I'm feeling too much in my head 1438 01:07:51,480 --> 01:07:53,950 because I struggle liking people. 1439 01:07:53,960 --> 01:07:55,750 Because you feel that, what? 1440 01:07:55,760 --> 01:07:58,750 I don't know, I just feel like it's always going to end bad. 1441 01:07:58,760 --> 01:08:00,960 I think he's too good for me. 1442 01:08:03,560 --> 01:08:05,790 I mean, it's quite heartbreaking to hear you say that. 1443 01:08:05,800 --> 01:08:08,710 Yeah. That you feel he's too good for you. 1444 01:08:08,720 --> 01:08:10,190 Well, he is. 1445 01:08:10,200 --> 01:08:11,790 No. No, he's not. No... 1446 01:08:11,800 --> 01:08:13,550 OVERLAPPING CHATTER 1447 01:08:13,560 --> 01:08:15,590 He adores her so much. 1448 01:08:15,600 --> 01:08:19,030 Maybe there might be things that Joe could do differently 1449 01:08:19,040 --> 01:08:21,070 to help you to feel more secure. 1450 01:08:21,080 --> 01:08:23,350 He doesn't do anything wrong. You know what I mean? 1451 01:08:23,360 --> 01:08:24,670 So Joe's perfect? 1452 01:08:24,680 --> 01:08:25,990 I'm not... No one's perfect. 1453 01:08:26,000 --> 01:08:28,470 If you do nothing wrong, you're perfect. 1454 01:08:28,480 --> 01:08:30,710 Well, he's... Oh, I don't... 1455 01:08:30,720 --> 01:08:33,270 Well, he's perfect to me so far. 1456 01:08:33,280 --> 01:08:37,310 OK, but now let's talk about your part in this. 1457 01:08:37,320 --> 01:08:41,600 Because you, Maeve, are the classic self sabotager. 1458 01:08:43,160 --> 01:08:46,080 But that comes from having low self-worth. 1459 01:08:47,600 --> 01:08:50,750 Low self-worth comes from lots of places 1460 01:08:50,760 --> 01:08:53,390 but in particular from horrible relationships 1461 01:08:53,400 --> 01:08:55,230 where we have been trounced on 1462 01:08:55,240 --> 01:08:57,160 time and time again. 1463 01:08:58,360 --> 01:09:00,830 And then you look at yourself and you say, "You know what, 1464 01:09:00,840 --> 01:09:03,030 "I'm not worthy to have a great relationship." 1465 01:09:03,040 --> 01:09:05,790 And we also place people on pedestals 1466 01:09:05,800 --> 01:09:07,590 and that's what you're doing. 1467 01:09:07,600 --> 01:09:10,920 You're saying, "I'm not worthy to be with someone that perfect." 1468 01:09:14,200 --> 01:09:15,870 You need to love on yourself more. 1469 01:09:15,880 --> 01:09:17,350 SHE SCOFFS 1470 01:09:17,360 --> 01:09:18,640 You do. 1471 01:09:24,800 --> 01:09:29,390 What do you do to love on yourself? 1472 01:09:29,400 --> 01:09:31,560 I don't know. Nothing. 1473 01:09:33,000 --> 01:09:35,150 Everyone's on a path here. 1474 01:09:35,160 --> 01:09:38,430 And so what I hope for you in this path 1475 01:09:38,440 --> 01:09:41,470 is that you find your self-worth. 1476 01:09:41,480 --> 01:09:46,590 This is more important than your relationship with Joe. 1477 01:09:46,600 --> 01:09:48,390 You understand this? Yeah. 1478 01:09:48,400 --> 01:09:49,640 OK. 1479 01:09:53,200 --> 01:09:55,070 Let's go to the decisions, Maeve. 1480 01:09:55,080 --> 01:09:56,390 Oh. 1481 01:09:56,400 --> 01:09:58,830 I've had a bit of a roller coaster of emotions, 1482 01:09:58,840 --> 01:10:00,310 like, with this journey, 1483 01:10:00,320 --> 01:10:04,150 and I've been vulnerable as much as I can be, 1484 01:10:04,160 --> 01:10:08,270 but obviously I want to be a bit more vulnerable 1485 01:10:08,280 --> 01:10:11,670 and I want to give myself a little bit more self-love. 1486 01:10:11,680 --> 01:10:13,070 That's the main one. 1487 01:10:13,080 --> 01:10:17,030 So what I have decided is that I'm gonna stay. 1488 01:10:17,040 --> 01:10:19,200 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 1489 01:10:23,040 --> 01:10:25,350 So hold on, hold on. Wait. 1490 01:10:25,360 --> 01:10:27,750 Joe obviously can't be here, 1491 01:10:27,760 --> 01:10:31,070 but he has let us know his decision. 1492 01:10:31,080 --> 01:10:35,600 And I can tell you he has decided to stay. 1493 01:10:36,800 --> 01:10:37,840 That's good. 1494 01:10:39,240 --> 01:10:44,270 Well, Maeve, I hope you grow to love yourself as much as we all love you. 1495 01:10:44,280 --> 01:10:47,190 Right, can I go now? You can now. 1496 01:10:47,200 --> 01:10:48,390 Thanks, Maeve. 1497 01:10:48,400 --> 01:10:50,240 APPLAUSE 1498 01:10:55,960 --> 01:10:57,750 Imagine if the fucker said leave. 1499 01:10:57,760 --> 01:10:59,910 THEY GIGGLE 1500 01:10:59,920 --> 01:11:02,310 Next on the couch, Nelly and Steven. 1501 01:11:02,320 --> 01:11:04,000 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 1502 01:11:09,080 --> 01:11:10,990 Hi. Hello. Hello, hello. 1503 01:11:11,000 --> 01:11:13,510 Welcome. Lovely to see the two of you. 1504 01:11:13,520 --> 01:11:17,350 Lovely to see you. So let's start from the beginning. 1505 01:11:17,360 --> 01:11:18,710 How was your wedding? 1506 01:11:18,720 --> 01:11:19,990 Wedding was amazing. Yeah? 1507 01:11:20,000 --> 01:11:22,310 Couldn't have asked for a better day, to be honest. 1508 01:11:22,320 --> 01:11:24,670 I was a little bit concerned when I turned around 1509 01:11:24,680 --> 01:11:26,590 and saw six guys walking towards me. 1510 01:11:26,600 --> 01:11:28,630 I thought, "Hang on, where's the wife?" 1511 01:11:28,640 --> 01:11:31,190 Um... But yeah, once I saw her being carried 1512 01:11:31,200 --> 01:11:36,030 in on a dolly and saw her face, my first word was just, "Wow." 1513 01:11:36,040 --> 01:11:38,790 Yeah, that was nice. Just like a portrait. 1514 01:11:38,800 --> 01:11:40,950 Oh, my God. Like, this is going to be my wife. 1515 01:11:40,960 --> 01:11:43,470 Like, this is the person I'm going to say "I do" to and give my all to. 1516 01:11:43,480 --> 01:11:45,750 So yeah, I was really in that moment, then. 1517 01:11:45,760 --> 01:11:47,760 That's when I was like, "OK, I'm ready." 1518 01:11:49,400 --> 01:11:51,950 And, Nelly, what was your experience? 1519 01:11:51,960 --> 01:11:56,870 As soon as I saw Steven, I just felt really calm. 1520 01:11:56,880 --> 01:11:58,750 I just got a really nice vibe from him. 1521 01:11:58,760 --> 01:12:00,110 For me, it was really important 1522 01:12:00,120 --> 01:12:02,030 that my partner would value family a lot 1523 01:12:02,040 --> 01:12:03,750 because I'm really close to mine. 1524 01:12:03,760 --> 01:12:05,310 So that was amazing to see. 1525 01:12:05,320 --> 01:12:08,750 Yeah. It was really, really special. It was really nice. 1526 01:12:08,760 --> 01:12:10,750 Sounding absolutely amazing. 1527 01:12:10,760 --> 01:12:13,710 I'm very hopeful that you're going to say the same thing 1528 01:12:13,720 --> 01:12:16,270 about the honeymoon. Were sparks still flying? 1529 01:12:16,280 --> 01:12:19,150 Yeah. We had such an amazing time. Yeah. 1530 01:12:19,160 --> 01:12:21,670 And where did you go? To Jamaica. 1531 01:12:21,680 --> 01:12:25,710 We just literally just felt that whole Jamaican aura. 1532 01:12:25,720 --> 01:12:29,230 We didn't bicker and just got on so well. 1533 01:12:29,240 --> 01:12:32,670 We laughed a lot. Yeah, we just had a really good time. 1534 01:12:32,680 --> 01:12:35,430 We get on, we have a similar sense of humour, 1535 01:12:35,440 --> 01:12:37,400 we are really playful with each other. 1536 01:12:38,720 --> 01:12:40,080 It's exactly what I wanted. 1537 01:12:41,760 --> 01:12:42,910 But I always just think, like, 1538 01:12:42,920 --> 01:12:45,040 well, when's something going to go wrong? 1539 01:12:47,320 --> 01:12:49,190 It sounds like there's a part of you that's thinking 1540 01:12:49,200 --> 01:12:50,830 this is too good to be true. 1541 01:12:50,840 --> 01:12:52,590 Yeah. Exactly that. 1542 01:12:52,600 --> 01:12:54,630 Kind of waiting for something to happen, 1543 01:12:54,640 --> 01:12:57,000 and it freaks me out a little bit that it hasn't. 1544 01:12:58,120 --> 01:13:00,750 Why aren't we arguing? Why haven't you irritated me? 1545 01:13:00,760 --> 01:13:02,440 Why haven't I irritated you? 1546 01:13:04,240 --> 01:13:06,430 I end up trying to look for something. 1547 01:13:06,440 --> 01:13:08,070 So, for example, 1548 01:13:08,080 --> 01:13:12,110 I love how affectionate you were on our honeymoon. 1549 01:13:12,120 --> 01:13:14,350 Like... Yeah. And then I'd come back to the apartment, 1550 01:13:14,360 --> 01:13:15,910 and I would kind of think, 1551 01:13:15,920 --> 01:13:17,550 "He's not given me a kiss this morning." 1552 01:13:17,560 --> 01:13:19,070 And then I get in my head and think, 1553 01:13:19,080 --> 01:13:20,960 "Yeah, it's cos he doesn't like you." 1554 01:13:23,000 --> 01:13:24,870 And then he will give me a kiss and I think, 1555 01:13:24,880 --> 01:13:26,390 "Oh, that was nice. He does like me." 1556 01:13:26,400 --> 01:13:28,430 And it's just constant. 1557 01:13:28,440 --> 01:13:30,070 And I even feel saying this now, I'm thinking 1558 01:13:30,080 --> 01:13:32,190 "Oh, my God. This is going to give him the ick 1559 01:13:32,200 --> 01:13:33,920 "and it's going to push him away." 1560 01:13:48,720 --> 01:13:49,910 It's just constant. 1561 01:13:49,920 --> 01:13:51,950 And I even feel saying this now I'm thinking, 1562 01:13:51,960 --> 01:13:54,030 "Oh, my God. This is going to give him the ick 1563 01:13:54,040 --> 01:13:55,760 "and it's going to push him away." 1564 01:14:01,440 --> 01:14:03,750 Do you know why you do that? No. 1565 01:14:03,760 --> 01:14:07,520 Your last three relationships, how did those end? 1566 01:14:08,800 --> 01:14:10,680 They all cheated on me. Right. 1567 01:14:11,920 --> 01:14:15,320 So they betrayed your trust. 1568 01:14:17,720 --> 01:14:20,950 Whenever our trust is betrayed over and over again, 1569 01:14:20,960 --> 01:14:25,830 we develop what's called a hypervigilance for red flags. 1570 01:14:25,840 --> 01:14:28,550 Because you have to learn to protect yourself. OK. 1571 01:14:28,560 --> 01:14:33,070 So you now are in this mode of self-protection. 1572 01:14:33,080 --> 01:14:34,510 But you know what the problem is 1573 01:14:34,520 --> 01:14:36,230 when you're just looking for red flags? 1574 01:14:36,240 --> 01:14:37,750 You don't see the green ones. 1575 01:14:37,760 --> 01:14:39,880 You miss all the beautiful green ones. Yeah. 1576 01:14:41,640 --> 01:14:43,910 And so the best advice I can give on this 1577 01:14:43,920 --> 01:14:48,150 is become hypervigilant about green flags. 1578 01:14:48,160 --> 01:14:51,310 OK. Retrain your brain. 1579 01:14:51,320 --> 01:14:52,670 And that's how you do it. 1580 01:14:52,680 --> 01:14:54,150 Obviously on the reassurance, 1581 01:14:54,160 --> 01:14:55,590 that comes a little bit harder for me. 1582 01:14:55,600 --> 01:14:58,350 I get frustrated myself cos I know I should give a lot more. 1583 01:14:58,360 --> 01:15:00,550 Exactly. Yeah. I was going to say this. 1584 01:15:00,560 --> 01:15:02,710 You have to actually say it, 1585 01:15:02,720 --> 01:15:05,390 and it's very important for you to be consistent. 1586 01:15:05,400 --> 01:15:07,910 And what you know is that you do have to reassure 1587 01:15:07,920 --> 01:15:09,800 and you have to do that consistently. 1588 01:15:11,040 --> 01:15:14,230 And, Nelly, at the dinner party yesterday, 1589 01:15:14,240 --> 01:15:17,590 we saw you get quite emotional... Yeah. 1590 01:15:17,600 --> 01:15:20,150 ...when it came to the honesty box 1591 01:15:20,160 --> 01:15:23,190 and you worrying about being too much. 1592 01:15:23,200 --> 01:15:27,470 I just kind of worry that if I show too much emotion... 1593 01:15:27,480 --> 01:15:30,430 In my last relationship, I would be too emotional sometimes. 1594 01:15:30,440 --> 01:15:31,630 Or if I get tearful, it was, 1595 01:15:31,640 --> 01:15:33,150 "Oh, for God's sake, you're crying again." 1596 01:15:33,160 --> 01:15:34,950 Sometimes I think I shouldn't give those emotions 1597 01:15:34,960 --> 01:15:36,470 cos what if that happens again? 1598 01:15:36,480 --> 01:15:40,310 And then, yeah, the tears kept leaking from my face. 1599 01:15:40,320 --> 01:15:42,950 I really applaud the fact that you did that, 1600 01:15:42,960 --> 01:15:46,510 and I could see that wasn't an easy thing for you to do. 1601 01:15:46,520 --> 01:15:48,270 I would like to also say, though, 1602 01:15:48,280 --> 01:15:52,070 that it is really important for you to be kinder to yourself, 1603 01:15:52,080 --> 01:15:55,030 and I would encourage you to acknowledge that, actually, 1604 01:15:55,040 --> 01:15:57,110 it's all right to show emotion. 1605 01:15:57,120 --> 01:16:00,270 It says a lot more about your ex-partners 1606 01:16:00,280 --> 01:16:03,150 that they weren't able to hold that. 1607 01:16:03,160 --> 01:16:06,110 What I'm seeing here is that Steven can. 1608 01:16:06,120 --> 01:16:09,110 He can be there for you. And. we're seeing that right now. 1609 01:16:09,120 --> 01:16:10,310 Yeah. 1610 01:16:10,320 --> 01:16:12,390 I feel it. 1611 01:16:12,400 --> 01:16:13,950 I do. Thank you. 1612 01:16:13,960 --> 01:16:16,510 Sorry. Tell me. What are you like? 1613 01:16:16,520 --> 01:16:18,110 Trying to poke you in the eye. 1614 01:16:18,120 --> 01:16:19,640 APPLAUSE 1615 01:16:20,720 --> 01:16:25,590 Steven, how was it for you to hear Nelly be so vulnerable yesterday? 1616 01:16:25,600 --> 01:16:27,910 In a weird sense, it's pleasing. 1617 01:16:27,920 --> 01:16:31,270 Obviously, I never want to see the person I'm with, like, cry. 1618 01:16:31,280 --> 01:16:32,350 It shows that she cares. 1619 01:16:32,360 --> 01:16:34,470 It shows that she's willing to be vulnerable. 1620 01:16:34,480 --> 01:16:37,230 But I've kept little memories and little moments to then 1621 01:16:37,240 --> 01:16:39,590 on those random days where maybe she's feeling 1622 01:16:39,600 --> 01:16:41,270 a little bit too much in her head 1623 01:16:41,280 --> 01:16:45,030 to be like, "Well, look, here's what this week's meant to me. 1624 01:16:45,040 --> 01:16:47,470 "Here's our week in a small little bag." 1625 01:16:47,480 --> 01:16:49,670 The reassurance I'll give, I like to do it through action 1626 01:16:49,680 --> 01:16:51,710 and not purely through words all the time. 1627 01:16:51,720 --> 01:16:53,230 She walked in the other day 1628 01:16:53,240 --> 01:16:54,790 and I had a little bit and I thought, 1629 01:16:54,800 --> 01:16:57,070 picked her up, gave her a kiss and sort of... 1630 01:16:57,080 --> 01:16:59,510 Tackled me to the floor, but I loved it. That's what I want. 1631 01:16:59,520 --> 01:17:01,750 It's fun. It's playful. I want stuff like that. 1632 01:17:01,760 --> 01:17:04,190 You two sound like you're falling for each other. 1633 01:17:04,200 --> 01:17:06,070 You can definitely say you're on the path for that 1634 01:17:06,080 --> 01:17:07,510 cos there's been nothing wrong. 1635 01:17:07,520 --> 01:17:10,110 So you're on the path? Yeah, you're on the path. Yeah. 100% 1636 01:17:10,120 --> 01:17:12,470 I am. I'm just gonna have to say it. 1637 01:17:12,480 --> 01:17:15,350 I probably would say I feel like I'm a little bit more ahead of Steven. 1638 01:17:15,360 --> 01:17:18,310 And I'll agree to that, cos she's allowed herself to be vulnerable. 1639 01:17:18,320 --> 01:17:20,350 So she's taken those extra couple of steps. 1640 01:17:20,360 --> 01:17:23,550 I haven't yet. So until I make that step and jump ahead, 1641 01:17:23,560 --> 01:17:26,030 then we can start walking, like, hand-in-hand again. 1642 01:17:26,040 --> 01:17:28,030 SHE LAUGHS 1643 01:17:28,040 --> 01:17:31,030 Can we go to a decision? 1644 01:17:31,040 --> 01:17:34,910 Well, I am really grateful to have been matched 1645 01:17:34,920 --> 01:17:38,030 with you in this process and I love being around you. 1646 01:17:38,040 --> 01:17:41,110 I am looking forward to doing this journey with you, 1647 01:17:41,120 --> 01:17:44,990 and I really want to know a little bit more about you. 1648 01:17:45,000 --> 01:17:47,470 Um, so I put stay. 1649 01:17:47,480 --> 01:17:48,750 Stay. 1650 01:17:48,760 --> 01:17:50,600 APPLAUSE 1651 01:17:51,760 --> 01:17:53,990 And, Steven what's, your decision? 1652 01:17:54,000 --> 01:17:55,870 It's leading in the right direction for me 1653 01:17:55,880 --> 01:17:59,150 and I'm saying I'm fully committed to opening up a little bit more. 1654 01:17:59,160 --> 01:18:00,470 But, yeah, I'm fully in. 1655 01:18:00,480 --> 01:18:03,270 I've been fully in since I see you in that dolly. 1656 01:18:03,280 --> 01:18:05,910 So, yeah, for me, it's 100% stay 1657 01:18:05,920 --> 01:18:07,510 with a little smiley face. 1658 01:18:07,520 --> 01:18:09,520 I put smiley as well. See? 1659 01:18:13,520 --> 01:18:15,670 I think the two of you are just made for each other. 1660 01:18:15,680 --> 01:18:17,790 I'm so excited to see where this goes, 1661 01:18:17,800 --> 01:18:19,790 and we wish you all the best for the rest of the week. 1662 01:18:19,800 --> 01:18:22,550 Thank you. I appreciate that. Yeah, thank you so much. 1663 01:18:22,560 --> 01:18:23,950 Thank you. Woo! 1664 01:18:23,960 --> 01:18:26,120 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 1665 01:18:27,360 --> 01:18:30,830 I'm really glad that, actually, Paul highlighted what I'm doing 1666 01:18:30,840 --> 01:18:32,670 because I knew I was doing it, 1667 01:18:32,680 --> 01:18:34,390 but I didn't know how to stop it. 1668 01:18:34,400 --> 01:18:36,150 Thank you. 1669 01:18:36,160 --> 01:18:39,270 100% I'm going to be focusing on the green flags more. 1670 01:18:39,280 --> 01:18:41,920 I feel better. Yeah, I feel more reassured already. 1671 01:18:45,840 --> 01:18:46,910 Next time... 1672 01:18:46,920 --> 01:18:48,550 Hello. 1673 01:18:48,560 --> 01:18:49,910 ...it's experts week. 1674 01:18:49,920 --> 01:18:51,870 Do I have permission to remove your robe? 1675 01:18:51,880 --> 01:18:54,310 While some couples lean into physical intimacy... 1676 01:18:54,320 --> 01:18:57,070 Oh! I hope you know where the key is for that. 1677 01:18:57,080 --> 01:18:59,950 ...Anita's patience with Paul wears even thinner. 1678 01:18:59,960 --> 01:19:01,470 Surely you should know what you want by now. 1679 01:19:01,480 --> 01:19:04,230 Are you expecting me to be fully committed after two weeks? 1680 01:19:04,240 --> 01:19:07,590 I need to know where this relationship's going. 1681 01:19:07,600 --> 01:19:09,070 No, I'm not hanging around. 1682 01:19:09,080 --> 01:19:12,790 And an unwanted interference in one couple's marriage... 1683 01:19:12,800 --> 01:19:14,390 Other people don't need to know my shit, 1684 01:19:14,400 --> 01:19:18,030 cos you'll see a side of me which you probably won't like. 1685 01:19:18,040 --> 01:19:19,110 I'm not having you say that 1686 01:19:19,120 --> 01:19:21,150 I was trying to come between your relationship. I'm not. 1687 01:19:21,160 --> 01:19:22,950 Couldn't give a flying fuck, if I'm completely honest. 1688 01:19:22,960 --> 01:19:24,110 I'm here for my relationship. 1689 01:19:24,120 --> 01:19:26,110 ...causes two husbands to collide. 1690 01:19:26,120 --> 01:19:29,000 Telling people just basically fuck off. 1691 01:19:30,640 --> 01:19:34,120 You're not part of this relationship, so see yourself out. 133114

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