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This programme contains
strong language and adult themes.
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We're so cute.
Previously... I'm home!
3
00:00:05,840 --> 00:00:08,830
...our newlyweds took the next step
into married life.
4
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Ah!
5
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But for some, domestic harmony...
6
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I won't be living in this apartment.
I need some time out.
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...was short-lived.
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It was the first dinner party
of the experiment.
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Here we are on this mad experiment
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Seeing things not in our element!
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00:00:26,520 --> 00:00:29,390
Sarah shared her unfiltered
opinions on Dean.
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He asked me if I'd ever slept
with anyone fat before.
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He's like a Care Bear.
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Sarah's already entered the zone
of being disrespectful
15
00:00:36,680 --> 00:00:38,550
and that's something
that needs to end.
16
00:00:38,560 --> 00:00:40,270
And for Julia-Ruth and Divarni...
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The spark is definitely there.
18
00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:43,830
We're literally like yin and yang.
19
00:00:43,840 --> 00:00:45,870
...conflicting accounts
of the honeymoon...
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00:00:45,880 --> 00:00:48,070
He said how amazing it was.
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On what planet?
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...left their marriage
hanging by a thread.
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The honeymoon was not easy.
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They've heard a different story.
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It makes no sense.
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SHE SOBS
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Tonight...
28
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It's the very
first commitment ceremony.
29
00:01:05,600 --> 00:01:08,110
...it's time for the couples
to face the experts.
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Can't communicate with you
and you don't listen.
31
00:01:10,680 --> 00:01:11,870
You don't back down.
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It's been difficult.
33
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It's been proper difficult.
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This isn't going to work.
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Tension builds as two couples clash.
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No emotional connection,
no communication.
37
00:01:21,560 --> 00:01:24,430
I thought we could build
from the wedding day.
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We're just miles apart.
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00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:29,870
And Sarah's badmouthing...
40
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Do you think that you were rude
while talking about your partner?
41
00:01:33,480 --> 00:01:34,910
...catches up with her.
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00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:38,350
This man is talking
about how lovely his partner is,
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00:01:38,360 --> 00:01:40,710
and you are on the other side
of the room
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disrespecting him.
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It's not me. It's not who I am.
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SOBS
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{\an8}That was good.
Right, now get the other one in.
48
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Other one. Oh!
49
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No. Right, put 'em down though,
50
00:02:03,720 --> 00:02:05,840
cos we're all gonna be
BLEEP orange juice.
51
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Can I have this piece of toast?
52
00:02:11,360 --> 00:02:12,910
That one's a bit buttery.
53
00:02:12,920 --> 00:02:14,400
Cholesterol for breakfast.
54
00:02:21,680 --> 00:02:23,630
Yesterday was a lot, wasn't it?
It was a lot.
55
00:02:23,640 --> 00:02:26,350
Yeah. Fun though.
Yeah, we had a really good time.
56
00:02:26,360 --> 00:02:29,750
I felt really confident with you
even before we saw everybody else.
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But then when we did see everyone
else
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00:02:31,120 --> 00:02:32,670
and we saw where they were at,
I was like,
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00:02:32,680 --> 00:02:34,190
"Oh, actually, we are super strong."
60
00:02:34,200 --> 00:02:35,830
Yeah, it's a nice feeling,
isn't it?
61
00:02:35,840 --> 00:02:37,910
I loved walking into
the dinner party with Bec.
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00:02:37,920 --> 00:02:41,030
I love showing her off and I walked
in with a big smile on my face.
63
00:02:41,040 --> 00:02:43,270
Bailey and I are really good.
We're happy.
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00:02:43,280 --> 00:02:45,790
We have gone from strength
to strength every day.
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We're very tactile.
Intimacy is great.
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The spark for us is flying.
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So we're going into
the commitment ceremony
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00:02:52,080 --> 00:02:53,680
in a really strong position.
69
00:02:57,240 --> 00:02:59,750
The vibe this morning
is a little bit tense.
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00:02:59,760 --> 00:03:01,390
After last night's dinner party,
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00:03:01,400 --> 00:03:03,270
Divarni and I spent the night
separately.
72
00:03:03,280 --> 00:03:06,230
We had an argument.
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00:03:06,240 --> 00:03:10,030
Compared to other couples,
I knew that we were struggling.
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00:03:10,040 --> 00:03:12,830
It felt like, again,
we were on different pages.
75
00:03:12,840 --> 00:03:14,710
He was trying to just paint
a picture
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00:03:14,720 --> 00:03:16,550
so no one could see
what was going on.
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00:03:16,560 --> 00:03:19,030
He's saying it's BLEEP daisies
78
00:03:19,040 --> 00:03:23,110
It wasn't the best feeling to know
that my wife was upset.
79
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How I articulated our issues
was a little bit sugar-coated.
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I can admit that.
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But that's what I chose to do
because obviously we're a team.
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Thank you.
83
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So here we are.
84
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Last night was intense, wasn't it?
85
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Mm. Yeah, I'm sorry
about the crying.
86
00:03:46,240 --> 00:03:47,880
I wasn't planning on doing that.
87
00:03:49,760 --> 00:03:52,910
I got upset at the dinner party
yesterday from the honesty box.
88
00:03:52,920 --> 00:03:55,270
I feel a little bit embarrassed.
89
00:03:55,280 --> 00:03:58,230
Nelly, can you see yourself
falling for me?
90
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It's very hard for me to say.
91
00:04:01,840 --> 00:04:03,390
Yeah. That's fine. Yeah.
92
00:04:03,400 --> 00:04:07,990
Why is it so hard for you to talk
about falling for somebody?
93
00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:11,190
I think I'm so afraid of, um...
94
00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:15,310
...being so emotionally open
and vulnerable to someone.
95
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Like, thinking that they know
who I am and think,
96
00:04:17,480 --> 00:04:19,440
"You know what, I'm not into her."
97
00:04:20,800 --> 00:04:22,630
And then they break my heart.
98
00:04:22,640 --> 00:04:24,960
I can't with it anymore,
it's too much.
99
00:04:27,800 --> 00:04:29,910
Just a lot for week one.
Yeah, of course it is.
100
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It's like,
when that honesty box comes out,
101
00:04:31,600 --> 00:04:33,630
we all know what that entails.
102
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So very courageous of you to show
that emotion and say what you said.
103
00:04:39,240 --> 00:04:40,830
Steven's doing all the right things,
104
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but I still keep getting into my own
head thinking,
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"Well, does he like you?
Are you sure about that?"
106
00:04:45,400 --> 00:04:48,030
I don't want to scare him off
or give him the ick.
107
00:04:48,040 --> 00:04:49,430
And I will convince myself
108
00:04:49,440 --> 00:04:51,430
if he doesn't hold my hand
for long enough,
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00:04:51,440 --> 00:04:52,830
it's because he's not into me.
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00:04:52,840 --> 00:04:55,390
Even though the poor guy
probably just wants his arm back.
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He's clearly telling me
he's being truthful.
112
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Why can't I believe it?
113
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Looking forward to seeing
the experts today?
114
00:05:03,160 --> 00:05:04,830
Do you think you're going
to get emotional?
115
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Me? I don't get emotional.
116
00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:10,830
What if they poke you
in all the right places?
117
00:05:10,840 --> 00:05:12,510
It hasn't happened for a while so...
118
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HE CHUCKLES
119
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THEY LAUGH
120
00:05:15,400 --> 00:05:18,190
Grace and I, I feel,
are in a really good place.
121
00:05:18,200 --> 00:05:20,630
We're quite, quite stable
at the moment,
122
00:05:20,640 --> 00:05:22,470
so I'm quite happy with where I am.
123
00:05:22,480 --> 00:05:25,270
Is there anything you're looking
to talk to the experts about?
124
00:05:25,280 --> 00:05:27,510
I feel like they might...
I think it could be confronting.
125
00:05:27,520 --> 00:05:28,550
I'm scared.
126
00:05:28,560 --> 00:05:30,630
I wasn't myself on honeymoon,
127
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and it's all been so overwhelming
and so hard.
128
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I don't want to do this. Sorry.
129
00:05:37,560 --> 00:05:39,080
On their wedding day...
130
00:05:45,960 --> 00:05:48,710
...Grace struggled
to find a connection with Ashley.
131
00:05:48,720 --> 00:05:52,750
I was raised like
men are the breadwinners.
132
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Old-school morals, basically.
133
00:05:54,480 --> 00:05:56,310
Yeah...
134
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And the honeymoon brought
her walls up even higher.
135
00:05:59,280 --> 00:06:00,440
OK. Is that enough now?
136
00:06:02,480 --> 00:06:03,830
Yikes.
137
00:06:03,840 --> 00:06:05,830
Oh, I'm not really feeling it.
138
00:06:05,840 --> 00:06:07,830
I feel like everything I'm doing
is wrong
139
00:06:07,840 --> 00:06:09,430
and I don't know why.
140
00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:13,870
In an effort to turn things around,
Grace finally opened up to Ashley.
141
00:06:13,880 --> 00:06:16,030
I just want to explain
the physical touch thing
142
00:06:16,040 --> 00:06:18,870
because I feel like maybe
I'm making it seem like it's you.
143
00:06:18,880 --> 00:06:20,870
I've been this way
since I was a kid.
144
00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:22,830
It's a sensation that I don't like.
145
00:06:22,840 --> 00:06:24,390
It's like skin...
146
00:06:24,400 --> 00:06:27,390
Yeah. ..but it's especially bad
when I'm a bit stressed
147
00:06:27,400 --> 00:06:28,790
and with people I don't know.
148
00:06:28,800 --> 00:06:30,630
I don't mean to project it onto you.
149
00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:32,870
I just hope I don't get upset.
150
00:06:32,880 --> 00:06:35,470
If you do feel emotional,
what is it that I'm supposed to do?
151
00:06:35,480 --> 00:06:38,190
Cos my natural reaction would be to
give you a hug if you're emotional,
152
00:06:38,200 --> 00:06:39,390
but you obviously don't...
153
00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:41,190
You're not going to want that.
So what is it I do?
154
00:06:41,200 --> 00:06:43,870
I might want that. I don't know.
Let's just see.
155
00:06:43,880 --> 00:06:45,320
Let's just cross that bridge.
156
00:06:46,520 --> 00:06:48,990
I am nervous
about seeing the experts.
157
00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:51,430
Obviously, they're going to shine
a light on all the things that,
158
00:06:51,440 --> 00:06:54,110
you know,
sometimes I avoid talking about.
159
00:06:54,120 --> 00:06:57,030
The touching, the PDA,
all of that...
160
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I'm the problem.
161
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That's how I feel, actually.
162
00:07:00,520 --> 00:07:01,880
So that's maybe why I'm nervous.
163
00:07:07,080 --> 00:07:09,390
I'm so sorry you feel sick.
164
00:07:09,400 --> 00:07:12,790
Davide is feeling really unwell.
He's so achy.
165
00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:15,590
That poor man
has got no energy whatsoever.
166
00:07:15,600 --> 00:07:18,990
How are you feeling about seeing
the experts tonight by yourself?
167
00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:20,990
Overall, I'm terrified
about going by myself
168
00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:22,520
and I don't want to go.
169
00:07:23,640 --> 00:07:26,790
I'm sure you're gonna be fine.
Yeah, I got this. Don't worry.
170
00:07:26,800 --> 00:07:30,390
But drink the honey and lemon
ginger tea when it's hot.
171
00:07:30,400 --> 00:07:32,430
It does nothing now it's cold.
172
00:07:32,440 --> 00:07:33,550
A little bit worried
173
00:07:33,560 --> 00:07:35,790
about walking into my first ceremony
without him,
174
00:07:35,800 --> 00:07:37,920
but I think we're really strong,
so it should be fine.
175
00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:43,710
First commitment ceremony today.
176
00:07:43,720 --> 00:07:45,190
What do you think they're gonna say
to us?
177
00:07:45,200 --> 00:07:46,510
I don't really know.
178
00:07:46,520 --> 00:07:48,870
From here, shit gets deeper,
doesn't it?
179
00:07:48,880 --> 00:07:51,430
I want the experts to tell us
where we're going wrong.
180
00:07:51,440 --> 00:07:54,270
We're just not there yet,
in terms of the romantic connection.
181
00:07:54,280 --> 00:07:56,790
It's more than friends,
but at the same time,
182
00:07:56,800 --> 00:07:58,910
she doesn't want to rip
my clothes off.
183
00:07:58,920 --> 00:08:01,070
I said, "You just need to let your
wall down a little bit more."
184
00:08:01,080 --> 00:08:02,190
Like, I'm trying.
185
00:08:02,200 --> 00:08:04,790
I'm being way more open
and vulnerable than I ever would
186
00:08:04,800 --> 00:08:06,310
in any situation.
187
00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:08,470
The thing is,
mine's not by choice.
188
00:08:08,480 --> 00:08:10,990
That vulnerability or, like,
moving to that next stage with you
189
00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:12,630
is just not coming naturally.
190
00:08:12,640 --> 00:08:15,750
And it's not like something
that I'm choosing to do,
191
00:08:15,760 --> 00:08:17,470
and it sounds so shallow.
192
00:08:17,480 --> 00:08:19,350
I think this whole narrative
of like,
193
00:08:19,360 --> 00:08:20,990
oh, you're not my typical type
194
00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:22,750
so like I'm struggling
to feel the romance.
195
00:08:22,760 --> 00:08:23,790
It's not just about, like,
196
00:08:23,800 --> 00:08:25,670
you don't have an undercut,
you know what I mean?
197
00:08:25,680 --> 00:08:27,510
Me having my walls up
isn't by choice.
198
00:08:27,520 --> 00:08:29,470
Like, it's not something
I'm in control of.
199
00:08:29,480 --> 00:08:33,670
Like, I feel like I'm blocked off
and I can't unblock.
200
00:08:33,680 --> 00:08:36,390
It's just, like,
how do I let these walls down?
201
00:08:36,400 --> 00:08:37,830
But at the same time,
202
00:08:37,840 --> 00:08:41,240
I think I'm more willing
to try and get the wall down.
203
00:08:42,360 --> 00:08:44,390
There's a big decision
to make today.
204
00:08:44,400 --> 00:08:46,350
I'm trying to be open
and vulnerable,
205
00:08:46,360 --> 00:08:48,470
but I've had my walls up
for so long, it's going to be
206
00:08:48,480 --> 00:08:50,670
really hard to change
and let my guard down.
207
00:08:50,680 --> 00:08:54,470
I'm trying to, like, give it my all
and be completely open.
208
00:08:54,480 --> 00:08:56,670
And initially,
that attraction wasn't there.
209
00:08:56,680 --> 00:08:59,950
So I'm intrigued to see
what the experts advice is
210
00:08:59,960 --> 00:09:03,720
and what they think is beneficial
for us to do moving forward.
211
00:09:06,080 --> 00:09:07,110
JOE COUGHS
212
00:09:07,120 --> 00:09:08,830
Are you still feeling shit?
213
00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:11,350
Yeah, I feel terrible, to be honest.
I feel like crap.
214
00:09:11,360 --> 00:09:13,990
Joe was feeling poorly,
so I don't know
215
00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:16,950
if he's going to be able to attend
the commitment ceremony.
216
00:09:16,960 --> 00:09:18,430
I'm nervous, you know.
217
00:09:18,440 --> 00:09:21,150
Obviously, like,
it's a commitment ceremony
218
00:09:21,160 --> 00:09:22,590
and I hate feelings,
219
00:09:22,600 --> 00:09:24,550
so I'm guessing we're going
to be talking about
220
00:09:24,560 --> 00:09:26,070
how we feel about each other.
221
00:09:26,080 --> 00:09:31,110
Joe was expressing some feelings
towards us at the dinner party.
222
00:09:31,120 --> 00:09:32,710
I feel exactly the same way.
223
00:09:32,720 --> 00:09:34,390
I'm just not very good
at showing it.
224
00:09:34,400 --> 00:09:37,790
But I'm obviously going to tell
the experts that I really like Joe
225
00:09:37,800 --> 00:09:40,360
because I can't stop smiling
when I talk about him.
226
00:09:44,400 --> 00:09:46,270
Feeling a little bit disappointed.
227
00:09:46,280 --> 00:09:49,550
I came away from the dinner party
feeling the same about Paul
228
00:09:49,560 --> 00:09:51,190
as I did going in.
229
00:09:51,200 --> 00:09:52,630
I agree with Rebecca
230
00:09:52,640 --> 00:09:56,190
saying that Paul and I
was one of the weakest couples.
231
00:09:56,200 --> 00:09:59,080
I'm struggling
with the emotional connection.
232
00:10:00,560 --> 00:10:03,430
Whatever decision I make today
is very important.
233
00:10:03,440 --> 00:10:06,470
I entered this experiment
to find love,
234
00:10:06,480 --> 00:10:08,680
so I'd be gutted
to walk away without it.
235
00:10:09,840 --> 00:10:13,040
I'm 100% needy of the experts.
236
00:10:14,920 --> 00:10:16,470
I care very much about Anita,
237
00:10:16,480 --> 00:10:19,430
but opening up
about my emotional feelings
238
00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:21,350
has always been a struggle for me.
239
00:10:21,360 --> 00:10:23,670
My coping mechanism is to put
a barrier up,
240
00:10:23,680 --> 00:10:25,390
and I think that's something
241
00:10:25,400 --> 00:10:27,790
that Anita's found hard
to break down.
242
00:10:27,800 --> 00:10:33,190
I'm not too empathetic
towards her feelings maybe.
243
00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:35,390
It's something I need to improve on.
244
00:10:35,400 --> 00:10:38,470
Anita has compassion and patience.
245
00:10:38,480 --> 00:10:40,990
I'm hoping she stays around
long enough,
246
00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:43,990
and we work together to build
the marriage going forward.
247
00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:45,630
I have no idea what Anita stands.
248
00:10:45,640 --> 00:10:48,160
I have no idea if she's going
to stay or leave.
249
00:10:52,200 --> 00:10:55,710
What do you think about
Sarah and Dean?
250
00:10:55,720 --> 00:10:59,430
He hasn't said much but I know
obviously she said bits to you.
251
00:10:59,440 --> 00:11:01,350
Oh, she did say she got the ick.
252
00:11:01,360 --> 00:11:03,230
Did she? Like, the proper ick.
253
00:11:03,240 --> 00:11:04,870
That's a bit of a sad one,
to be fair,
254
00:11:04,880 --> 00:11:06,990
cos he's such a nice lad.
255
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:09,470
She said there's no physical
attraction there for at all.
256
00:11:09,480 --> 00:11:11,840
Yeah. There's nothing sexual
for her.
257
00:11:19,560 --> 00:11:22,270
Last night, it was harder
than I thought it was going to be.
258
00:11:22,280 --> 00:11:23,710
Yeah, definitely.
259
00:11:23,720 --> 00:11:27,030
It's hard to see everyone as well,
like, be lovey-dovey. Mm-hm.
260
00:11:27,040 --> 00:11:28,270
Cos I'm the guy, like,
261
00:11:28,280 --> 00:11:30,430
"Comparison is the thief of joy.
I'm not going to compare."
262
00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:32,790
But, yeah, there was definitely
a feeling...
263
00:11:32,800 --> 00:11:34,310
A lot of feelings yesterday.
264
00:11:34,320 --> 00:11:37,310
You can't help that.
No. I won't, but yeah.
265
00:11:37,320 --> 00:11:40,710
I'd obviously said that
I probably would compare.
266
00:11:40,720 --> 00:11:43,550
It obviously would be
the attraction thing
267
00:11:43,560 --> 00:11:45,670
which is, for me, the hardest bit.
268
00:11:45,680 --> 00:11:47,590
And last night was
emotional at points,
269
00:11:47,600 --> 00:11:50,270
so I think, yeah,
today will be the same.
270
00:11:50,280 --> 00:11:53,550
Last night's dinner party has given
me a little bit of a wake-up call.
271
00:11:53,560 --> 00:11:54,950
Mine and Dean's relationship
272
00:11:54,960 --> 00:11:56,910
is not where I would have imagined
it to be.
273
00:11:56,920 --> 00:11:58,670
It is quite hard to see
other couples
274
00:11:58,680 --> 00:12:00,390
being quite all over each other,
275
00:12:00,400 --> 00:12:01,950
and Dean and I aren't like that.
276
00:12:01,960 --> 00:12:04,680
And I think that's making me feel
very emotional.
277
00:12:06,480 --> 00:12:07,550
I'm nervous about it as well,
278
00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:09,710
cos it's kind of putting
everything out there, innit,
279
00:12:09,720 --> 00:12:10,990
and it is so intense.
280
00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:12,510
It's only going to get intenser.
281
00:12:12,520 --> 00:12:15,550
If we're honest,
it can kind of only help.
282
00:12:15,560 --> 00:12:19,350
I like Sarah.
I'm optimistic she'll say stay.
283
00:12:19,360 --> 00:12:21,310
There is reasons
that we are matched.
284
00:12:21,320 --> 00:12:23,590
We're both here to kind of
try and make it work.
285
00:12:23,600 --> 00:12:25,720
So yeah, I'm confident
that she'll stay.
286
00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:29,430
We're all wanting to get somewhere
within this experiment. Yeah.
287
00:12:29,440 --> 00:12:30,710
We're both where we are
and we're like,
288
00:12:30,720 --> 00:12:33,070
"Yeah, we need help."
And that's what they're there for.
289
00:12:33,080 --> 00:12:34,470
So hopefully...
290
00:12:34,480 --> 00:12:40,110
I don't know what the experts could
do to help get that spark.
291
00:12:40,120 --> 00:12:43,990
Looking at the other couples
and feeling that, like, you know,
292
00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:45,830
sexual energy and sexual spark.
293
00:12:45,840 --> 00:12:48,640
I mean, it was like flying through
the room at one point.
294
00:12:50,240 --> 00:12:53,040
I genuinely just don't know
if we're going to get to it.
295
00:13:24,880 --> 00:13:28,550
Today is the very first
commitment ceremony
296
00:13:28,560 --> 00:13:32,790
and we are so excited
to start your journeys with you.
297
00:13:32,800 --> 00:13:36,360
This is where the hard work begins.
298
00:13:37,560 --> 00:13:42,990
It's imperative that all of you
commit to being honest and open.
299
00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:47,000
Honesty is the key to the success
of your marriages.
300
00:13:49,160 --> 00:13:52,150
You're all here to make
a very important decision -
301
00:13:52,160 --> 00:13:55,600
whether to stay
or leave the experiment.
302
00:13:56,800 --> 00:14:01,270
A couple can only leave the
experiment if both write leave.
303
00:14:01,280 --> 00:14:03,510
If just one person wants to stay,
304
00:14:03,520 --> 00:14:06,110
then the couple must stay
in the experiment
305
00:14:06,120 --> 00:14:08,560
and continue
to work on their marriage.
306
00:14:09,760 --> 00:14:13,910
Now, Davide and Joe
cannot be here today due to illness,
307
00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:17,880
but for the rest of you,
let's all get down to business.
308
00:14:25,760 --> 00:14:29,590
Our first couple up to the couch
tonight is Grace and Ashley.
309
00:14:29,600 --> 00:14:31,320
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
310
00:14:34,320 --> 00:14:37,230
Come and join us, you two.
311
00:14:37,240 --> 00:14:39,630
Hello. Hello.
312
00:14:39,640 --> 00:14:42,870
Why don't you take us back
to the wedding day?
313
00:14:42,880 --> 00:14:46,990
Grace, how did you feel
leading up to the ceremony?
314
00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:49,390
I don't really know
what I was expecting.
315
00:14:49,400 --> 00:14:51,550
I certainly didn't expect it
to hit me
316
00:14:51,560 --> 00:14:53,510
like a tonne of bricks
that it did.
317
00:14:53,520 --> 00:14:54,950
I think I just panicked.
318
00:14:54,960 --> 00:14:57,030
I was, like, I was frustrated
with myself
319
00:14:57,040 --> 00:14:59,150
and, like, berating myself.
320
00:14:59,160 --> 00:15:01,630
And I took myself
on a downward spiral.
321
00:15:01,640 --> 00:15:05,910
Later, there was talk
of Ash's traditional values
322
00:15:05,920 --> 00:15:07,870
and being an old-school gentleman
323
00:15:07,880 --> 00:15:09,310
and I didn't really know
what that meant.
324
00:15:09,320 --> 00:15:12,350
I loved being an independent woman
and I just thought,
325
00:15:12,360 --> 00:15:14,750
"It's dead in the water
before it even starts."
326
00:15:14,760 --> 00:15:16,670
How did that feel for you, Ashley?
327
00:15:16,680 --> 00:15:18,310
It was like a deer in headlights
328
00:15:18,320 --> 00:15:20,590
when sort of Grace was feeling
the way she was.
329
00:15:20,600 --> 00:15:23,070
So that kind of made me spiral
a little bit,
330
00:15:23,080 --> 00:15:24,910
because I said from the very
beginning
331
00:15:24,920 --> 00:15:26,430
I wanted to be unapologetically me.
332
00:15:26,440 --> 00:15:27,670
That's really hard to do
333
00:15:27,680 --> 00:15:30,240
when you're the reason
she's feeling like she is.
334
00:15:32,080 --> 00:15:34,430
It's about terminology, isn't it?
Yeah.
335
00:15:34,440 --> 00:15:36,230
Grace hears, "Old-school gent,"
336
00:15:36,240 --> 00:15:38,590
and she thinks,
"I'm not a tradwife."
337
00:15:38,600 --> 00:15:39,670
Yeah.
338
00:15:39,680 --> 00:15:42,070
I had no idea
it would even be taken that way.
339
00:15:42,080 --> 00:15:44,630
So it completely
kind of wiped me off my feet
340
00:15:44,640 --> 00:15:46,790
because I just wasn't expecting it.
341
00:15:46,800 --> 00:15:50,000
It sounds like
that was quite difficult for you.
342
00:15:51,360 --> 00:15:52,790
And then you went on honeymoon.
343
00:15:52,800 --> 00:15:55,870
On the honeymoon, OK,
so for the first couple of days,
344
00:15:55,880 --> 00:15:57,350
I'm feeling upset.
345
00:15:57,360 --> 00:16:00,070
Everything made me on the brink
of tears.
346
00:16:00,080 --> 00:16:02,990
I'm not the most
touchy-feely person.
347
00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:05,990
And in this moment
when I was feeling so overwhelmed
348
00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:09,070
and so stressed and so anxious,
so vulnerable,
349
00:16:09,080 --> 00:16:11,920
that not wanting to be
touchy-feely...
350
00:16:13,240 --> 00:16:15,630
...it became a huge deal.
351
00:16:15,640 --> 00:16:18,830
And Ash, in wanting
to make me feel better, is like,
352
00:16:18,840 --> 00:16:20,790
"Are you OK? Are you all right?"
353
00:16:20,800 --> 00:16:22,310
And I was like...
354
00:16:22,320 --> 00:16:25,270
It was making me like more and more
and more inside myself.
355
00:16:25,280 --> 00:16:26,680
I was struggling.
356
00:16:28,840 --> 00:16:31,990
Ash, how was that experience
for you?
357
00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:34,390
If someone's feeling down,
I try and make it better.
358
00:16:34,400 --> 00:16:37,070
Cos the way I flirt,
I was always like,
359
00:16:37,080 --> 00:16:38,910
if someone likes you,
they're touching you more.
360
00:16:38,920 --> 00:16:40,710
So I always thought touch was good
361
00:16:40,720 --> 00:16:43,230
and, like, let them know
that you like them,
362
00:16:43,240 --> 00:16:45,230
but that wasn't what she wanted
or needed
363
00:16:45,240 --> 00:16:46,880
and I was kind of making it worse.
364
00:16:48,640 --> 00:16:52,910
Grace, are you able to direct your
own insight back to yourself here
365
00:16:52,920 --> 00:16:55,470
on this one and see where
that lack of comfort
366
00:16:55,480 --> 00:16:57,670
with all the touching comes from?
367
00:16:57,680 --> 00:16:59,390
I don't know anyone else like me.
368
00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:00,670
I don't know anyone else
369
00:17:00,680 --> 00:17:03,670
that doesn't really like the feeling
of like skin on skin.
370
00:17:03,680 --> 00:17:06,230
But I do function as an adult.
Like, I'm a midwife.
371
00:17:06,240 --> 00:17:08,560
I rub people's backs,
I hold people's hands.
372
00:17:10,160 --> 00:17:11,790
But this experiment...
373
00:17:11,800 --> 00:17:13,520
OK.
374
00:17:17,280 --> 00:17:20,870
You're doing great.
Come on, you're doing really good.
375
00:17:20,880 --> 00:17:23,950
...is confronting
because for me it's normal.
376
00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:25,750
I've always been this way.
377
00:17:25,760 --> 00:17:29,870
But then, looking at everyone else
finding it so easy, so natural,
378
00:17:29,880 --> 00:17:32,190
you do start to feel
like a bit of a freak.
379
00:17:32,200 --> 00:17:33,750
And you're like...
380
00:17:33,760 --> 00:17:37,350
And it's made me question,
"What was I thinking?
381
00:17:37,360 --> 00:17:40,950
"Why did I think I could
come into this?"
382
00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:45,550
What did I? Like, it makes me think,
like, what a bizarre thing to do.
383
00:17:45,560 --> 00:17:47,590
Or maybe it's a brave thing
to do.
384
00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:49,470
Yeah. OK. Thanks, Paul.
385
00:17:49,480 --> 00:17:50,880
LAUGHTER
386
00:17:53,200 --> 00:17:56,390
You know, we all have different
levels of comfort with touch.
387
00:17:56,400 --> 00:18:00,070
And I think what's important here
is the two of you can start talking
388
00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:01,750
about what those boundaries are.
389
00:18:01,760 --> 00:18:05,310
On this point,
when you both sat here on the couch,
390
00:18:05,320 --> 00:18:08,110
you, Grace,
you were feeling emotional.
391
00:18:08,120 --> 00:18:09,870
Yeah. So Ashley literally...
392
00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:12,190
I just saw him put his hand out
like this,
393
00:18:12,200 --> 00:18:14,350
and he went to touch you,
and he was like,
394
00:18:14,360 --> 00:18:17,150
"Uh-oh, I better not do this.
I better not do this here."
395
00:18:17,160 --> 00:18:20,350
Then he goes... It's one of those,
"Oh yeah. Cool, babe."
396
00:18:20,360 --> 00:18:22,590
And I felt for you in that moment.
397
00:18:22,600 --> 00:18:24,030
Yeah.
398
00:18:24,040 --> 00:18:26,590
But I think it's also important
for you, Ashley,
399
00:18:26,600 --> 00:18:27,670
to be able to say,
400
00:18:27,680 --> 00:18:29,550
"I'm here for you in this moment."
401
00:18:29,560 --> 00:18:31,110
Right? That's right,
to do it verbally.
402
00:18:31,120 --> 00:18:33,510
To do it verbally. Yeah.
403
00:18:33,520 --> 00:18:35,510
I'm very verbal as a person anyway.
404
00:18:35,520 --> 00:18:38,350
If I feel a certain way
or I'm upset with something,
405
00:18:38,360 --> 00:18:40,030
I just come straight out and say it.
406
00:18:40,040 --> 00:18:43,680
So hopefully we can sort of
just keep going like that.
407
00:18:44,920 --> 00:18:46,790
So where would you say
you guys ended up
408
00:18:46,800 --> 00:18:50,150
at the end of the honeymoon
compared with where you started?
409
00:18:50,160 --> 00:18:51,750
Full 180.
410
00:18:51,760 --> 00:18:53,670
Tell us about that.
411
00:18:53,680 --> 00:18:55,830
We just agreed that we couldn't
just be strangers
412
00:18:55,840 --> 00:18:59,270
and then husband and wife, like,
there had to be friendship first.
413
00:18:59,280 --> 00:19:02,830
Then it was fun. I was cracking up.
I was laughing so much.
414
00:19:02,840 --> 00:19:06,430
I made a conscious effort
when I did feel in a good place,
415
00:19:06,440 --> 00:19:08,750
like, to try and be
more affectionate.
416
00:19:08,760 --> 00:19:11,390
And then I can see
that she's making a big effort
417
00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:12,990
and I really appreciate it.
418
00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:15,990
And hopefully she sees the same
with the way I'm saying things...
419
00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:17,110
I do. ..and sort of that.
420
00:19:17,120 --> 00:19:18,710
Yeah.
421
00:19:18,720 --> 00:19:21,270
It's quite remarkable, I think,
how much progress
422
00:19:21,280 --> 00:19:22,510
the two of you have made.
423
00:19:22,520 --> 00:19:26,470
Ashley, you're showing such patience
with this woman you've just met
424
00:19:26,480 --> 00:19:29,270
who's showing behaviours
that you don't quite understand.
425
00:19:29,280 --> 00:19:31,710
And for you, Grace, you
are showing incredible bravery.
426
00:19:31,720 --> 00:19:34,190
Yeah. Because you're doing things
so differently
427
00:19:34,200 --> 00:19:35,910
from how you've done them before.
428
00:19:35,920 --> 00:19:37,310
So I think it's brilliant
429
00:19:37,320 --> 00:19:39,960
that the two of you have come
so far already.
430
00:19:41,720 --> 00:19:44,750
I think we're going to go to
a decision.
431
00:19:44,760 --> 00:19:47,470
Let's start with you first, Ashley.
432
00:19:47,480 --> 00:19:51,630
So I honestly feel like
we've come so, so far
433
00:19:51,640 --> 00:19:54,590
and I can't wait to see
how far we can take this
434
00:19:54,600 --> 00:19:57,070
and I'm really excited
to do the rest of this experiment
435
00:19:57,080 --> 00:19:58,390
and see where we go.
436
00:19:58,400 --> 00:20:00,150
So I voted to stay.
437
00:20:00,160 --> 00:20:01,510
Brilliant.
438
00:20:01,520 --> 00:20:03,280
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
439
00:20:04,840 --> 00:20:06,190
Good job!
440
00:20:06,200 --> 00:20:07,670
And to you, Grace?
441
00:20:07,680 --> 00:20:09,270
I feel really lucky
442
00:20:09,280 --> 00:20:12,270
that I got partnered with someone
so patient,
443
00:20:12,280 --> 00:20:15,670
so tolerant, so willing to learn,
so open-minded.
444
00:20:15,680 --> 00:20:18,470
I'm happy to be here.
And I'm glad that it's with you.
445
00:20:18,480 --> 00:20:21,630
So, yeah, I'm gonna stay.
446
00:20:21,640 --> 00:20:22,830
Ah.
447
00:20:22,840 --> 00:20:24,560
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
448
00:20:26,840 --> 00:20:28,270
Thank you so much.
449
00:20:28,280 --> 00:20:31,830
This is a really positive journey
that you've taken so far.
450
00:20:31,840 --> 00:20:34,670
Keep doing what you're doing, guys.
You're off to a good start.
451
00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:36,670
Thank you so much. Thanks, guys.
Take a seat.
452
00:20:36,680 --> 00:20:38,350
Well done.
453
00:20:38,360 --> 00:20:40,320
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
454
00:20:45,720 --> 00:20:47,240
All right, next up to the couch...
455
00:20:53,680 --> 00:20:56,070
If we can have
Julia-Ruth and Divarni.
456
00:20:56,080 --> 00:20:57,310
Come on up.
457
00:20:57,320 --> 00:20:59,240
APPLAUSE
458
00:21:02,200 --> 00:21:03,990
Welcome.
459
00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:06,070
Hello! Hi.
Welcome. How are we doing?
460
00:21:06,080 --> 00:21:07,590
Good. Good.
461
00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:09,950
It is so good for you both
to be here
462
00:21:09,960 --> 00:21:12,080
because I have so many questions.
463
00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:15,150
Can we start with the wedding?
464
00:21:15,160 --> 00:21:16,510
Oh my God.
465
00:21:16,520 --> 00:21:17,630
Magical. It was wild.
466
00:21:17,640 --> 00:21:21,190
Best wedding ever, I'm not gonna
lie. Best wedding ever.
467
00:21:21,200 --> 00:21:22,710
The vibes were up there.
So much fun.
468
00:21:22,720 --> 00:21:26,710
It was just like, damn,
this person actually exists.
469
00:21:26,720 --> 00:21:29,110
I was stupid excited
and I'm still excited.
470
00:21:29,120 --> 00:21:32,190
Just the true beauty that I saw
in her at the beginning
471
00:21:32,200 --> 00:21:33,590
threw me off.
472
00:21:33,600 --> 00:21:34,910
That's big. Yeah.
473
00:21:34,920 --> 00:21:37,270
And then I'm laughing
and I'm snorting and I'm giggling.
474
00:21:37,280 --> 00:21:39,630
It was a lot of emotions.
It was really great.
475
00:21:39,640 --> 00:21:42,550
The energy was so good.
We were vibing. Yeah.
476
00:21:42,560 --> 00:21:44,670
All right, next day
we go on honeymoon.
477
00:21:44,680 --> 00:21:46,630
Yes. Honeymoon was?
478
00:21:46,640 --> 00:21:48,550
Started off great.
479
00:21:48,560 --> 00:21:49,910
Started off good?
480
00:21:49,920 --> 00:21:50,960
Go on.
481
00:21:52,800 --> 00:21:57,470
I think the... We arrived in Morocco
and that was when it hit me.
482
00:21:57,480 --> 00:21:58,710
"OK, I'm married."
483
00:21:58,720 --> 00:22:01,790
So I did, like,
kind of feel overwhelmed.
484
00:22:01,800 --> 00:22:05,830
And I'm trying to find
some joyous moments
485
00:22:05,840 --> 00:22:09,230
for us to build some sort of,
like, emotional connection.
486
00:22:09,240 --> 00:22:11,030
Can you explain that?
487
00:22:11,040 --> 00:22:13,510
The physical didn't come naturally,
so I'm like,
488
00:22:13,520 --> 00:22:14,830
let's build the...
489
00:22:14,840 --> 00:22:16,670
We're having so much fun
and we're laughing
490
00:22:16,680 --> 00:22:18,990
that, like, maybe that comes
that way,
491
00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:21,910
but everything is really heavy
and deep.
492
00:22:21,920 --> 00:22:24,430
It's always intense.
493
00:22:24,440 --> 00:22:28,270
Can you give an example for us?
Yeah.
494
00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:31,910
So we were on the camels
and I asked you,
495
00:22:31,920 --> 00:22:34,070
"What is your biggest fear?"
496
00:22:34,080 --> 00:22:35,310
And then you spiralled
497
00:22:35,320 --> 00:22:38,070
into the deepest conversation
I've ever had in my life,
498
00:22:38,080 --> 00:22:39,360
which was shocking.
499
00:22:41,280 --> 00:22:42,590
You went on and you were like,
500
00:22:42,600 --> 00:22:44,950
"It's always just been me.
Always end up in these situations
501
00:22:44,960 --> 00:22:47,390
"No one's ever gonna love me
It's always gonna be me by myself."
502
00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:50,710
It was all this dark stuff and I'm
sitting there and I'm like, "Bro..."
503
00:22:50,720 --> 00:22:52,350
Can I ask...
Can I ask you a question, though?
504
00:22:52,360 --> 00:22:53,390
Yeah.
505
00:22:53,400 --> 00:22:56,160
You've just asked
about his deepest fear.
506
00:22:57,320 --> 00:22:58,830
Fears are dark.
507
00:22:58,840 --> 00:23:00,910
I know that fear is a big word,
508
00:23:00,920 --> 00:23:04,310
but I'm feeling overwhelmed
by the amount of information
509
00:23:04,320 --> 00:23:07,390
that is being dumped onto me
continuously.
510
00:23:07,400 --> 00:23:10,120
It feels like trauma dumping.
511
00:23:11,480 --> 00:23:13,430
We talk about deep stuff so much.
512
00:23:13,440 --> 00:23:14,830
There's inappropriate times
513
00:23:14,840 --> 00:23:17,400
where I just feel like
I want to have fun with you.
514
00:23:18,840 --> 00:23:20,630
Divarni, in that moment,
515
00:23:20,640 --> 00:23:22,790
how did you interpret
what was happening?
516
00:23:22,800 --> 00:23:26,230
Answering that question
was very personal to me, for sure,
517
00:23:26,240 --> 00:23:28,950
but it was just me opening up
at that moment,
518
00:23:28,960 --> 00:23:32,480
and I just expressed myself
the way I needed to express myself.
519
00:23:33,920 --> 00:23:36,350
Divarni, do you feel clear
520
00:23:36,360 --> 00:23:39,790
when the right time is to talk
in a deep way
521
00:23:39,800 --> 00:23:41,790
and when to kind of
have a bit of fun?
522
00:23:41,800 --> 00:23:45,160
Do you feel clear in terms of
what Julia-Ruth wants from you?
523
00:23:46,320 --> 00:23:50,190
Sometimes when I communicate,
it can go on and on and on and on.
524
00:23:50,200 --> 00:23:53,630
It's just finding that balance of
choosing a part of that information.
525
00:23:53,640 --> 00:23:56,550
I mean, maybe I can pick it up
and then feed it another time.
526
00:23:56,560 --> 00:23:57,950
Right, right.
527
00:23:57,960 --> 00:24:00,240
All right.
Vital information missed.
528
00:24:01,440 --> 00:24:05,230
Obviously, had the argument
after the camels and it erupted.
529
00:24:05,240 --> 00:24:08,670
Divarni's heightened
and jittery and upset.
530
00:24:08,680 --> 00:24:11,470
And I don't like
how you handled that situation.
531
00:24:11,480 --> 00:24:15,270
You don't back down,
you get more intense,
532
00:24:15,280 --> 00:24:16,950
and you're going at me.
533
00:24:16,960 --> 00:24:19,830
And you did that last night
after the dinner party, too,
534
00:24:19,840 --> 00:24:21,750
and I'm like, "Whoa!"
535
00:24:21,760 --> 00:24:24,750
Like, "OK, this isn't gonna work."
536
00:24:24,760 --> 00:24:26,190
I needed to get things off my chest.
537
00:24:26,200 --> 00:24:28,230
Would you agree, though,
it was explosive?
538
00:24:28,240 --> 00:24:29,630
It was a bit explosive. Yeah.
539
00:24:29,640 --> 00:24:32,040
OK, so that is a major detail.
540
00:24:33,600 --> 00:24:35,710
So we have two issues
541
00:24:35,720 --> 00:24:38,910
of poor communication
that happens on the honeymoon
542
00:24:38,920 --> 00:24:41,270
and, Julia-Ruth,
what you're telling me
543
00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:42,950
is that there's many of these.
544
00:24:42,960 --> 00:24:46,030
So, honeymoon, not so good.
545
00:24:46,040 --> 00:24:48,950
You come back,
you move in to the apartment.
546
00:24:48,960 --> 00:24:51,230
How did you feel about your marriage
547
00:24:51,240 --> 00:24:53,320
when you walked
into the dinner party?
548
00:24:54,680 --> 00:24:56,630
We sat down and had a conversation
549
00:24:56,640 --> 00:24:59,470
and we said, "We're going to be on
the same page at the dinner party."
550
00:24:59,480 --> 00:25:02,590
So, like, if we're getting asked
the questions by people,
551
00:25:02,600 --> 00:25:04,230
"How has your time been?"
552
00:25:04,240 --> 00:25:05,390
The wedding was great.
553
00:25:05,400 --> 00:25:07,830
It's been good
and it's been really bad.
554
00:25:07,840 --> 00:25:08,990
For sure.
555
00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:10,270
But I sit down and talk to people
556
00:25:10,280 --> 00:25:12,350
and then when I tell them how
the relationship's going,
557
00:25:12,360 --> 00:25:15,390
they were like,
"Oh, that's not what I've heard."
558
00:25:15,400 --> 00:25:17,950
And I'm like, "What do you mean
that's not what you've heard?"
559
00:25:17,960 --> 00:25:21,630
It's been, "You've been really good.
Like, smooth sailing."
560
00:25:21,640 --> 00:25:22,790
So I was very confused
561
00:25:22,800 --> 00:25:24,390
because I go around looking
like a dickhead
562
00:25:24,400 --> 00:25:27,430
saying that our relationship's
been turbulent
563
00:25:27,440 --> 00:25:30,790
and he's saying it's been a hiccup.
Fine.
564
00:25:30,800 --> 00:25:32,230
OK.
565
00:25:32,240 --> 00:25:35,150
That's not even remotely close
to what's been going on
566
00:25:35,160 --> 00:25:37,430
in our relationship.
567
00:25:37,440 --> 00:25:39,950
I know that obviously
we went through our shit,
568
00:25:39,960 --> 00:25:43,550
but I was going into
the dinner party hopeful.
569
00:25:43,560 --> 00:25:45,030
You know, I'm curious.
570
00:25:45,040 --> 00:25:47,470
You mentioned there was an argument
last night.
571
00:25:47,480 --> 00:25:49,670
What happened
after the dinner party?
572
00:25:49,680 --> 00:25:51,830
Coming back to the apartment,
I did confront her,
573
00:25:51,840 --> 00:25:53,630
and I was just
getting things off my chest.
574
00:25:53,640 --> 00:25:55,430
You always say you're
getting things off your chest
575
00:25:55,440 --> 00:25:57,750
and it's not fun
because you attack me.
576
00:25:57,760 --> 00:26:01,710
I want us to have the space
so we don't yell at each other.
577
00:26:01,720 --> 00:26:02,990
And that's why I say,
578
00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:06,270
"Go and breathe and come back
to me when you
can talk to me like a person."
579
00:26:06,280 --> 00:26:08,840
You don't talk to me like a person
You go at me.
580
00:26:10,880 --> 00:26:13,430
You don't listen to me. I'm like,
"Should I go to another room?"
581
00:26:13,440 --> 00:26:15,070
And you're going at me.
582
00:26:15,080 --> 00:26:17,870
OK, well, then,
I'm gonna go to another room.
583
00:26:17,880 --> 00:26:20,840
And you get more intense
and more intense and more intense.
584
00:26:22,160 --> 00:26:25,110
You get so heightened,
and I can't communicate with you.
585
00:26:25,120 --> 00:26:26,440
I don't like that.
586
00:26:40,680 --> 00:26:43,680
You get more intense
and more intense and more intense.
587
00:26:44,800 --> 00:26:47,990
You get so heightened
and I can't communicate with you.
588
00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:49,280
I don't like that.
589
00:26:54,640 --> 00:26:57,430
You know what's so interesting
about you two?
590
00:26:57,440 --> 00:27:01,910
You're the most hot and cold couple
in this experiment.
591
00:27:01,920 --> 00:27:03,190
Wedding - Oh, my gosh.
592
00:27:03,200 --> 00:27:05,550
Ten... ten wedding,
I can't believe it.
593
00:27:05,560 --> 00:27:06,910
By the next day, it's like
594
00:27:06,920 --> 00:27:09,720
I don't even know if I want to be
with this person, right?
595
00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:16,150
So what do you want
from this relationship?
596
00:27:16,160 --> 00:27:18,070
So what I want is a companion.
597
00:27:18,080 --> 00:27:19,670
Someone that's very supportive.
598
00:27:19,680 --> 00:27:22,190
Someone that understands me
in a whole entirety.
599
00:27:22,200 --> 00:27:24,870
Obviously, having fun.
That's what I'm looking for.
600
00:27:24,880 --> 00:27:28,430
OK. And you still want
that in Julia-Ruth?
601
00:27:28,440 --> 00:27:29,670
Yes. OK.
602
00:27:29,680 --> 00:27:31,910
Julia-Ruth, what do you want?
603
00:27:31,920 --> 00:27:35,390
I want someone
who's going to go 50-50
604
00:27:35,400 --> 00:27:39,310
or 60-40 at different times
with me in terms of energy.
605
00:27:39,320 --> 00:27:41,030
I don't mind being there for you.
606
00:27:41,040 --> 00:27:43,430
I don't mind you unloading to me.
607
00:27:43,440 --> 00:27:46,190
If anyone, I feel like I've got you.
608
00:27:46,200 --> 00:27:47,950
Let's also enjoy each other.
609
00:27:47,960 --> 00:27:49,510
I want to have that feeling of like
610
00:27:49,520 --> 00:27:53,230
we're laughing so hard that
the physical intimacy kicks off.
611
00:27:53,240 --> 00:27:54,590
We don't have that.
612
00:27:54,600 --> 00:27:57,390
And that's what I said, like,
coming back to the apartment.
613
00:27:57,400 --> 00:27:59,630
I'm very excited because
then I can take you out on dates
614
00:27:59,640 --> 00:28:03,790
and actually have those memorable
moments of actually having fun.
615
00:28:03,800 --> 00:28:06,950
That's why coming and moving into
the apartment was a thrill.
616
00:28:06,960 --> 00:28:08,630
The other thing, Divarni, too
617
00:28:08,640 --> 00:28:10,830
is I think
what's very important,
618
00:28:10,840 --> 00:28:13,230
and I hear Julia-Ruth wanting
as well,
619
00:28:13,240 --> 00:28:14,830
is for you to listen.
620
00:28:14,840 --> 00:28:16,470
Sometimes listening means
621
00:28:16,480 --> 00:28:18,350
I'm going to take a cool-off period.
622
00:28:18,360 --> 00:28:19,950
And then during that period,
623
00:28:19,960 --> 00:28:24,070
reflecting upon what your partner
said, what your partner feels,
624
00:28:24,080 --> 00:28:25,670
what their emotion is.
625
00:28:25,680 --> 00:28:28,470
So, therefore, you're coming back
in a position
626
00:28:28,480 --> 00:28:31,520
where you can actually
resolve the conflict.
627
00:28:33,520 --> 00:28:34,950
You know, I have hope.
628
00:28:34,960 --> 00:28:37,430
Ultimately, you know what you both
said?
629
00:28:37,440 --> 00:28:39,710
You want to have someone
who will support you
630
00:28:39,720 --> 00:28:42,790
and I think that's the place
to remain focussed on -
631
00:28:42,800 --> 00:28:45,080
be each other's support. OK?
632
00:28:46,920 --> 00:28:49,310
Can we go to a decision?
633
00:28:49,320 --> 00:28:51,950
Divarni, why don't you take us away?
634
00:28:51,960 --> 00:28:54,230
Julia-Ruth, it's been difficult.
635
00:28:54,240 --> 00:28:57,080
It's been proper difficult
throughout this honeymoon.
636
00:28:59,840 --> 00:29:01,470
But obviously I'm here for a reason.
637
00:29:01,480 --> 00:29:03,830
And I do believe in us.
638
00:29:03,840 --> 00:29:06,670
So my actual decision
639
00:29:06,680 --> 00:29:08,790
is for me to stay.
640
00:29:08,800 --> 00:29:11,040
APPLAUSE
641
00:29:17,760 --> 00:29:19,040
Um...
642
00:29:20,760 --> 00:29:21,960
For me, it's tricky.
643
00:29:24,440 --> 00:29:28,040
The vibes on the wedding day
were unreal.
644
00:29:29,560 --> 00:29:32,510
I just haven't seen you
let your hair loose
645
00:29:32,520 --> 00:29:35,510
and just have a fun,
light-hearted conversation
646
00:29:35,520 --> 00:29:37,950
and just have giggles with me
and create fun memories.
647
00:29:37,960 --> 00:29:41,040
I don't need everything
to be picked apart and to be deep.
648
00:29:45,760 --> 00:29:47,230
We do have some good moments
649
00:29:47,240 --> 00:29:50,400
and I don't like spending time
away from you because I miss you.
650
00:29:53,200 --> 00:29:56,590
So I think I have chosen to stay.
651
00:29:56,600 --> 00:29:58,720
APPLAUSE
652
00:30:03,600 --> 00:30:06,350
All right. Done.
Done. Thank you.
653
00:30:06,360 --> 00:30:08,320
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
654
00:30:11,640 --> 00:30:14,670
I think it's going to take a lot
of work for Divarni and I
655
00:30:14,680 --> 00:30:17,750
to fix and restart
or mend our relationship.
656
00:30:17,760 --> 00:30:21,150
I hold on to, so dearly,
the moments from the wedding.
657
00:30:21,160 --> 00:30:24,470
I want to stay because I'm fighting
for those moments.
658
00:30:24,480 --> 00:30:25,750
I've shared how I felt
659
00:30:25,760 --> 00:30:29,160
and I think it's now up to him
how he processes the information.
660
00:30:33,120 --> 00:30:34,600
Next up to the couch...
661
00:30:37,760 --> 00:30:39,110
...Rebecca and Bailey.
662
00:30:39,120 --> 00:30:41,360
APPLAUSE
663
00:30:44,120 --> 00:30:46,470
Hello. Hello. Hello. Hi.
664
00:30:46,480 --> 00:30:49,150
Good to see the two of you.
Thank you.
665
00:30:49,160 --> 00:30:52,070
Looking extremely comfortable
with one another.
666
00:30:52,080 --> 00:30:54,790
I'm absolutely loving this.
667
00:30:54,800 --> 00:30:58,910
OK. So I'm super keen to hear
about your wedding.
668
00:30:58,920 --> 00:31:00,670
Kind of a roller coaster. OK.
669
00:31:00,680 --> 00:31:03,470
Initial reaction
turning round around - stunning.
670
00:31:03,480 --> 00:31:04,710
Absolutely gorgeous.
671
00:31:04,720 --> 00:31:08,630
I feel like the only thing I just
couldn't catch a vibe, I feel like.
672
00:31:08,640 --> 00:31:11,030
I was a bit thrown by it.
Yeah. I was just...
673
00:31:11,040 --> 00:31:12,110
And then throughout the day,
674
00:31:12,120 --> 00:31:13,830
it kind of just followed on that
path for me,
675
00:31:13,840 --> 00:31:15,630
just up and down like a yo-yo.
676
00:31:15,640 --> 00:31:19,110
So it sounds like you were trying
to work out, "What is she feeling?"
677
00:31:19,120 --> 00:31:23,670
Yeah. And, Rebecca, what
was the experience like for you?
678
00:31:23,680 --> 00:31:25,390
I think I had in my mind
679
00:31:25,400 --> 00:31:27,830
I would get to the end of the aisle
680
00:31:27,840 --> 00:31:29,990
and there would be massive
sparks flying,
681
00:31:30,000 --> 00:31:31,830
because that's what I'm used to.
682
00:31:31,840 --> 00:31:34,550
Like, that initial big attraction.
683
00:31:34,560 --> 00:31:36,880
And we didn't have that.
684
00:31:38,040 --> 00:31:40,670
I know that for you it's really
important to have someone
685
00:31:40,680 --> 00:31:42,790
that is very much an alpha male.
686
00:31:42,800 --> 00:31:45,750
And that was something
that was quite difficult for you.
687
00:31:45,760 --> 00:31:47,550
On the wedding day,
I struggled with that
688
00:31:47,560 --> 00:31:49,710
because I couldn't see like
the real Bailey.
689
00:31:49,720 --> 00:31:51,470
And I was like
"Oh, my God, is he...?"
690
00:31:51,480 --> 00:31:53,470
You know,
"Am I going to eat him alive?"
691
00:31:53,480 --> 00:31:56,950
And that made me go into my shell.
692
00:31:56,960 --> 00:31:59,680
I was crying through the vows.
I was very overwhelmed.
693
00:32:01,240 --> 00:32:02,630
Take me to the honeymoon.
694
00:32:02,640 --> 00:32:04,390
Did that get any better?
695
00:32:04,400 --> 00:32:06,350
It changed everything.
696
00:32:06,360 --> 00:32:08,070
We really, really got on.
697
00:32:08,080 --> 00:32:11,430
Yeah, we started talking, laughing.
Tables started turning.
698
00:32:11,440 --> 00:32:13,390
I saw him for who he was,
and I thought,
699
00:32:13,400 --> 00:32:16,230
"Wow, I can really connect
with this person."
700
00:32:16,240 --> 00:32:18,310
You called me a golden retriever.
Yeah.
701
00:32:18,320 --> 00:32:19,510
He's got golden retriever energy.
702
00:32:19,520 --> 00:32:20,990
I've got black cat energy.
I'll take that.
703
00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:22,510
Yeah, we match so well in that way.
704
00:32:22,520 --> 00:32:24,990
So we started to have a little bit
of a giggle, like, yeah,
705
00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:28,030
a little bit of laugh, which I like.
I can connect over.
706
00:32:28,040 --> 00:32:30,350
Bailey is who he is
through and through.
707
00:32:30,360 --> 00:32:32,830
He doesn't put on a show
or anything like that.
708
00:32:32,840 --> 00:32:36,550
He's the definition
of an alpha man. 100%.
709
00:32:36,560 --> 00:32:39,070
He knows how to look after me
710
00:32:39,080 --> 00:32:41,870
whilst allowing me
to just completely be myself.
711
00:32:41,880 --> 00:32:43,790
I go to the gym,
I can carry my bags,
712
00:32:43,800 --> 00:32:45,590
can do things for myself.
713
00:32:45,600 --> 00:32:49,510
Bailey takes away anything
that he can do,
714
00:32:49,520 --> 00:32:52,470
while still making me feel
that I'm capable.
715
00:32:52,480 --> 00:32:54,150
I do like to do the little things,
716
00:32:54,160 --> 00:32:55,790
like going up to the bar
and getting a drink,
717
00:32:55,800 --> 00:32:56,950
carrying your bags, little...
718
00:32:56,960 --> 00:32:58,910
Just little things.
They're only small.
719
00:32:58,920 --> 00:33:00,990
But because she was super
independent,
720
00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:02,510
"I can do everything on my own,"
721
00:33:02,520 --> 00:33:04,950
it kind of felt better
when she put that trust into me
722
00:33:04,960 --> 00:33:06,030
and kind of relinquished
723
00:33:06,040 --> 00:33:08,350
a little bit of that independence
that she has, was nice.
724
00:33:08,360 --> 00:33:09,830
You say that they're small things
725
00:33:09,840 --> 00:33:12,830
but it sounds like they're
small things with a big meaning.
726
00:33:12,840 --> 00:33:16,430
Yeah. And it's not just, like,
little acts of service like that.
727
00:33:16,440 --> 00:33:18,790
It's the little glances across
the room.
728
00:33:18,800 --> 00:33:20,110
Or like the, "Are you OK?"
729
00:33:20,120 --> 00:33:23,750
And that I do it back to him, like,
there is a real connection there.
730
00:33:23,760 --> 00:33:25,310
Yeah.
731
00:33:25,320 --> 00:33:27,670
Well, I think that helps me
to kind of neatly go on
732
00:33:27,680 --> 00:33:29,510
to the next question
around intimacy.
733
00:33:29,520 --> 00:33:32,070
So how are things going in
the intimacy department?
734
00:33:32,080 --> 00:33:33,790
BOTH LAUGH
735
00:33:33,800 --> 00:33:35,030
Like Cheshire cats.
736
00:33:35,040 --> 00:33:37,350
Um, yeah. All good. Yeah.
Really good.
737
00:33:37,360 --> 00:33:40,350
Yeah. Um, very well-matched
in that department.
738
00:33:40,360 --> 00:33:42,270
Um, so no complaints.
739
00:33:42,280 --> 00:33:43,830
I can't stop smiling. Yeah.
740
00:33:43,840 --> 00:33:45,430
Rebecca, do you want to help him
here?
741
00:33:45,440 --> 00:33:47,510
No.
LAUGHS
742
00:33:47,520 --> 00:33:48,990
I'm sweating here, in't I?
743
00:33:49,000 --> 00:33:52,830
No, everything's good
on that front. Yeah, great.
744
00:33:52,840 --> 00:33:55,070
Well, I am so excited
with this union,
745
00:33:55,080 --> 00:33:57,750
and it's just so nice to see
the physical affection
746
00:33:57,760 --> 00:33:59,270
between the two of you.
747
00:33:59,280 --> 00:34:01,030
The way you have each other's back.
748
00:34:01,040 --> 00:34:03,350
Yeah. We're constantly
laughing and joking at home.
749
00:34:03,360 --> 00:34:05,910
Loads of fun. I mean, I asked for,
like, a little bestie,
750
00:34:05,920 --> 00:34:07,750
and that's just what I've got.
751
00:34:07,760 --> 00:34:11,430
Yeah, it's a good feeling.
It's... It feels secure.
752
00:34:11,440 --> 00:34:13,910
So let's go to the decisions.
753
00:34:13,920 --> 00:34:16,000
If we can start with you, Rebecca.
754
00:34:17,320 --> 00:34:19,310
From our wedding day, this is...
755
00:34:19,320 --> 00:34:22,910
I never ever, expected to be
in this position now.
756
00:34:22,920 --> 00:34:25,870
I think more than anything,
I just love how you make me feel.
757
00:34:25,880 --> 00:34:28,630
Yeah. So it's an easy one for me.
758
00:34:28,640 --> 00:34:30,190
It's a stay.
759
00:34:30,200 --> 00:34:31,910
APPLAUSE
760
00:34:31,920 --> 00:34:35,510
Thank you, Rebecca.
And, Bailey, what's your decision?
761
00:34:35,520 --> 00:34:38,070
I'm really enjoying
just getting to know you.
762
00:34:38,080 --> 00:34:39,910
I love just spending time
with you at home,
763
00:34:39,920 --> 00:34:42,550
and I'm looking forward
to that carrying on.
764
00:34:42,560 --> 00:34:43,950
So I've decided to...
765
00:34:43,960 --> 00:34:45,670
I'm upside down. ..stay.
766
00:34:45,680 --> 00:34:48,240
APPLAUSE
767
00:34:51,520 --> 00:34:54,070
So Rebecca and Bailey,
the couple to watch.
768
00:34:54,080 --> 00:34:55,550
I'm excited. Oh gosh!
769
00:34:55,560 --> 00:34:57,110
Look forward to seeing you
next week.
770
00:34:57,120 --> 00:34:58,750
Really appreciate it. Cheers.
Thank you.
771
00:34:58,760 --> 00:35:00,840
APPLAUSE
772
00:35:05,880 --> 00:35:07,200
Next up to the couch...
773
00:35:10,680 --> 00:35:11,920
...Sarah and Dean.
774
00:35:17,920 --> 00:35:20,790
Hello. Hello. Hello there.
775
00:35:20,800 --> 00:35:23,190
So how are we both?
776
00:35:23,200 --> 00:35:25,430
Yeah, nervous. Nervous?
I'm nervous. Are you?
777
00:35:25,440 --> 00:35:28,310
Yeah, I'm good. Oh, you're good?
That's good. All good.
778
00:35:28,320 --> 00:35:31,590
OK, so can we go to the wedding?
779
00:35:31,600 --> 00:35:32,790
Mm-hm.
780
00:35:32,800 --> 00:35:35,710
So the moment you saw Sarah,
781
00:35:35,720 --> 00:35:36,990
what did you think?
782
00:35:37,000 --> 00:35:39,670
Seeing her, I thought
the energy's here and I was like...
783
00:35:39,680 --> 00:35:41,270
She's a beautiful girl as well.
784
00:35:41,280 --> 00:35:43,150
And I was like,
"Yeah, this is good."
785
00:35:43,160 --> 00:35:45,630
You would say
physically attractive - check?
786
00:35:45,640 --> 00:35:47,990
Yeah, yeah. Definitely.
Sexually attractive?
787
00:35:48,000 --> 00:35:50,630
Yeah, I guess... I thought,
"I could have sex with her."
788
00:35:50,640 --> 00:35:52,630
ALL LAUGH
789
00:35:52,640 --> 00:35:53,870
OK.
790
00:35:53,880 --> 00:35:55,550
But it's important to know
791
00:35:55,560 --> 00:35:58,430
because there is a distinction
between the two.
792
00:35:58,440 --> 00:36:00,710
Yeah, yeah. So, OK, Sarah,
793
00:36:00,720 --> 00:36:03,710
how did you feel
going in to the wedding?
794
00:36:03,720 --> 00:36:05,070
I was very nervous,
795
00:36:05,080 --> 00:36:07,870
and I think I had envisioned
in my head
796
00:36:07,880 --> 00:36:09,990
who was going to be at the end
of the aisle.
797
00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:11,320
And what was that vision?
798
00:36:13,160 --> 00:36:15,670
OK, so I'll be honest. Yeah.
799
00:36:15,680 --> 00:36:17,550
Yeah. Um...
800
00:36:17,560 --> 00:36:18,720
Tall.
801
00:36:20,040 --> 00:36:22,670
I love tattoos,
so covered in tattoos.
802
00:36:22,680 --> 00:36:24,750
Probably look like they've
just come out of jail,
803
00:36:24,760 --> 00:36:26,590
I'm not gonna lie.
804
00:36:26,600 --> 00:36:28,320
Because that was your "type"?
805
00:36:31,240 --> 00:36:32,750
OK. What else?
806
00:36:32,760 --> 00:36:38,510
I mean, I do also like a guy that's,
like, into fitness and gym.
807
00:36:38,520 --> 00:36:40,640
So, yeah. I mean, maybe...
808
00:36:42,600 --> 00:36:44,040
...physical as well...
809
00:36:45,480 --> 00:36:47,510
...it wasn't what I thought
it was going to be.
810
00:36:47,520 --> 00:36:48,920
OK.
811
00:36:50,560 --> 00:36:52,550
I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I'm really sorry. No, no.
812
00:36:52,560 --> 00:36:54,110
Yeah, it's got to be honest,
I promise.
813
00:36:54,120 --> 00:36:55,270
You're not gonna hurt my feelings.
814
00:36:55,280 --> 00:36:56,670
Dean, are you OK?
815
00:36:56,680 --> 00:36:59,390
Literally fine.
It's so good It's so good.
816
00:36:59,400 --> 00:37:00,480
OK.
817
00:37:01,560 --> 00:37:03,520
It was an honest start.
We appreciate that.
818
00:37:04,720 --> 00:37:07,710
So let's move to the honeymoon.
819
00:37:07,720 --> 00:37:10,910
Yeah, it was hard. I had a, like,
a wobble
820
00:37:10,920 --> 00:37:13,150
cos I sing a lot and, um,
I was like,
821
00:37:13,160 --> 00:37:15,070
"It can get a little bit grating,
yeah?"
822
00:37:15,080 --> 00:37:17,310
And you was like,
"Yeah, it's a bit..." Yeah.
823
00:37:17,320 --> 00:37:20,230
It was just a lot
of random outbursts of singing.
824
00:37:20,240 --> 00:37:21,990
It was getting just a little bit...
825
00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:24,790
I was like, "I'm getting...
I'm getting irritated by this."
826
00:37:24,800 --> 00:37:28,510
OK. Cos I don't really like
showing my emotions too much.
827
00:37:28,520 --> 00:37:30,270
But if you listen to the song
I'm singing,
828
00:37:30,280 --> 00:37:31,550
that's how I'm feeling.
829
00:37:31,560 --> 00:37:33,150
So I'll be singing like a sad song.
830
00:37:33,160 --> 00:37:35,790
And if you listen to the words,
I'm like, that's how I'm feeling.
831
00:37:35,800 --> 00:37:38,270
So are you saying that
you were sad during the honeymoon?
832
00:37:38,280 --> 00:37:40,280
Uh, yeah. Well, I was at a point.
833
00:37:41,480 --> 00:37:43,470
We had a meal and we was talking,
834
00:37:43,480 --> 00:37:44,790
and I reverted back to, like,
835
00:37:44,800 --> 00:37:47,840
the little fat kid at school
who's trying to fit in, you know?
836
00:37:49,280 --> 00:37:52,110
I've not been that so long because
I've built myself up so much.
837
00:37:52,120 --> 00:37:54,070
I guess doubts, you know,
started coming in
838
00:37:54,080 --> 00:37:56,760
and I was like, "Oh, man, I don't...
I don't like this."
839
00:37:58,640 --> 00:38:00,030
And that was a real low.
840
00:38:00,040 --> 00:38:01,990
And that's when
I spoke to Sarah about it.
841
00:38:02,000 --> 00:38:03,150
That's when I was like,
842
00:38:03,160 --> 00:38:05,670
"Let's just enjoy
getting to know each other."
843
00:38:05,680 --> 00:38:07,070
You know what's interesting?
844
00:38:07,080 --> 00:38:08,910
I think when there
are painful moments,
845
00:38:08,920 --> 00:38:11,310
we try to go past them quickly.
846
00:38:11,320 --> 00:38:12,870
Yeah, probably, man.
847
00:38:12,880 --> 00:38:14,150
You just said something
848
00:38:14,160 --> 00:38:16,950
that touches upon
a moment in childhood.
849
00:38:16,960 --> 00:38:19,750
Yeah. Let's give that respect.
850
00:38:19,760 --> 00:38:22,560
I felt like what?
The fat kid, like back at school.
851
00:38:24,760 --> 00:38:26,830
And what made you feel that way?
852
00:38:26,840 --> 00:38:28,790
Probably feeling, like,
in all honesty,
853
00:38:28,800 --> 00:38:30,670
a bit of rejection.
854
00:38:30,680 --> 00:38:33,480
You know?
And not feeling like I was enough.
855
00:38:34,960 --> 00:38:36,630
And what was it that made you feel
856
00:38:36,640 --> 00:38:39,040
like you were rejected
and not enough?
857
00:38:40,640 --> 00:38:42,510
The physical attraction thing
is something that
858
00:38:42,520 --> 00:38:45,670
kind of, I guess,
hits me more than I think it does.
859
00:38:45,680 --> 00:38:47,830
Yeah, it put my defences up,
860
00:38:47,840 --> 00:38:51,150
you know, like,
that I didn't like it.
861
00:38:51,160 --> 00:38:52,240
Yeah.
862
00:38:54,080 --> 00:38:56,310
So when you both leave
the honeymoon,
863
00:38:56,320 --> 00:39:00,670
are you at all optimistic
about your marriage?
864
00:39:00,680 --> 00:39:03,150
I was stupid cos, like,
we get on so well
865
00:39:03,160 --> 00:39:04,870
and we're always having
a great time,
866
00:39:04,880 --> 00:39:07,630
and there's no one else
I'd rather be with in this.
867
00:39:07,640 --> 00:39:09,870
For me, I was like,
"Yeah, this could be like..."
868
00:39:09,880 --> 00:39:12,390
This could be something.
Yeah. Yeah. 100%.
869
00:39:12,400 --> 00:39:14,920
So were you optimistic at all,
Sarah?
870
00:39:20,200 --> 00:39:21,510
I was optimistic.
871
00:39:21,520 --> 00:39:24,550
We have been matched for a reason
and I can see why.
872
00:39:24,560 --> 00:39:27,230
I think my problem is people I've
dated or been with,
873
00:39:27,240 --> 00:39:29,110
I've always had
that initial attraction.
874
00:39:29,120 --> 00:39:33,030
I've always wanted to rip
their clothes off and just eat them.
875
00:39:33,040 --> 00:39:34,790
Just... Do you know that feeling?
876
00:39:34,800 --> 00:39:38,110
And I'm really struggling
because I don't have that with Dean,
877
00:39:38,120 --> 00:39:40,190
but then I've got everything else.
878
00:39:40,200 --> 00:39:41,990
You wanted someone
who was going to be funny.
879
00:39:42,000 --> 00:39:44,840
You wanted someone who could be
a support system for you.
880
00:39:46,160 --> 00:39:50,070
So, Sarah, you feel as if
Dean is everything that you need?
881
00:39:50,080 --> 00:39:51,350
Oh, that's what I said. I said,
882
00:39:51,360 --> 00:39:53,470
"I'm the husband you need,
not the one you want."
883
00:39:53,480 --> 00:39:55,270
And I don't want him to change.
Like, I...
884
00:39:55,280 --> 00:39:58,350
You know, the singing
and the rapping, it did irritate me.
885
00:39:58,360 --> 00:40:01,630
It did. I mean, the raps
and the songs sort of stopped.
886
00:40:01,640 --> 00:40:04,670
So he's receptive
to modifying his behaviour?
887
00:40:04,680 --> 00:40:06,350
Yeah.
888
00:40:06,360 --> 00:40:08,880
So what behaviour are you modifying?
889
00:40:11,720 --> 00:40:15,360
Is there any modification
that you think that you need?
890
00:40:17,040 --> 00:40:18,310
I don't know.
891
00:40:18,320 --> 00:40:19,470
You feel like you're good?
892
00:40:19,480 --> 00:40:20,990
You're doing everything
appropriately?
893
00:40:21,000 --> 00:40:23,510
I feel like I'm...
I feel like I'm doing everything OK.
894
00:40:23,520 --> 00:40:25,110
I think the communication
is great.
895
00:40:25,120 --> 00:40:26,950
I think the honesty is great
as well.
896
00:40:26,960 --> 00:40:29,030
You're giving it everything,
and that's all I wanted.
897
00:40:29,040 --> 00:40:30,510
Dean, what we've seen here
898
00:40:30,520 --> 00:40:33,230
is you kind of rescuing Sarah
in this.
899
00:40:33,240 --> 00:40:34,670
That says a lot about you
900
00:40:34,680 --> 00:40:37,190
in terms of the kind-hearted person
that you are.
901
00:40:37,200 --> 00:40:38,670
But I think at the moment,
902
00:40:38,680 --> 00:40:43,230
it feels a little bit like, Dean,
you're willing to modify behaviour,
903
00:40:43,240 --> 00:40:45,350
you're willing to reel
in the singing a little bit
904
00:40:45,360 --> 00:40:47,030
and the rapping,
905
00:40:47,040 --> 00:40:50,430
but what we're asking, Sara,
is what are you willing to do?
906
00:40:50,440 --> 00:40:52,670
What are you willing to change?
907
00:40:52,680 --> 00:40:53,760
I don't know.
908
00:40:55,320 --> 00:40:57,110
So I've got something for you.
909
00:40:57,120 --> 00:40:58,880
Oh, God. OK.
910
00:41:00,760 --> 00:41:05,480
You could begin by stopping
the disrespect of your husband.
911
00:41:09,080 --> 00:41:10,430
Let me take you to the dinner party.
912
00:41:10,440 --> 00:41:11,630
OK.
913
00:41:11,640 --> 00:41:15,310
Someone disrespects you,
what are they doing?
914
00:41:15,320 --> 00:41:16,560
Well, they're being rude.
915
00:41:17,760 --> 00:41:21,150
They're being rude. What else?
They're being mean.
916
00:41:21,160 --> 00:41:23,230
Do you think that you were rude
917
00:41:23,240 --> 00:41:26,480
while talking about your partner
at the dinner party?
918
00:41:29,400 --> 00:41:31,190
Oh, it's gonna kill him, this.
919
00:41:31,200 --> 00:41:33,390
I mean, I may be sad you'd given me
the ick
920
00:41:33,400 --> 00:41:35,320
with some things that you'd said.
921
00:41:38,840 --> 00:41:41,360
So in other words,
you disrespected your husband.
922
00:41:44,440 --> 00:41:47,430
I get the challenge
around physical attraction,
923
00:41:47,440 --> 00:41:49,390
but where you absolutely lost me
924
00:41:49,400 --> 00:41:52,590
is when you went around
gossiping about your husband
925
00:41:52,600 --> 00:41:54,880
to other people,
and you were laughing at it.
926
00:41:56,120 --> 00:41:58,510
Was I? I was a joke.
I didn't mean to laugh.
927
00:41:58,520 --> 00:42:00,870
Well, you were. OK. And I thought,
928
00:42:00,880 --> 00:42:05,150
"This man is talking
about how lovely his partner is
929
00:42:05,160 --> 00:42:08,520
"and you are on the other side
of the room disrespecting him."
930
00:42:10,240 --> 00:42:12,160
I don't think I did it that much,
did I?
931
00:42:13,280 --> 00:42:15,390
You know what? Disrespect...
I know, I know.
932
00:42:15,400 --> 00:42:18,080
...one iota of disrespect
is too much.
933
00:42:28,240 --> 00:42:31,200
You are on the other side
of the room disrespecting him.
934
00:42:33,320 --> 00:42:35,950
I don't think I did it that much,
did I?
935
00:42:35,960 --> 00:42:38,350
You know what? Disrespect...
I know, I know.
936
00:42:38,360 --> 00:42:40,760
...one iota of disrespect
is too much.
937
00:42:48,880 --> 00:42:50,030
I'm so sorry.
938
00:42:50,040 --> 00:42:52,150
I'm sorry.
939
00:42:52,160 --> 00:42:54,550
These relationships
are a two-way street.
940
00:42:54,560 --> 00:42:57,070
And really, what I want you
to think about is -
941
00:42:57,080 --> 00:43:00,310
how can I be considerate
to my partner?
942
00:43:00,320 --> 00:43:03,870
Yeah. There's no excuse for saying
what I said yesterday
943
00:43:03,880 --> 00:43:05,360
and I really apologise.
944
00:43:06,720 --> 00:43:08,710
Dean, are you OK?
945
00:43:08,720 --> 00:43:10,230
I was... Kind of caught me off, that.
946
00:43:10,240 --> 00:43:13,000
Yeah. If I'm being real, yeah,
that caught me off. Yeah, yeah.
947
00:43:16,480 --> 00:43:18,550
I found yesterday
really hard as well.
948
00:43:18,560 --> 00:43:19,950
I'm sorry.
949
00:43:19,960 --> 00:43:22,870
This couch
is a very difficult place,
950
00:43:22,880 --> 00:43:24,310
but it is a place
951
00:43:24,320 --> 00:43:27,280
where relationships are broken
or where they grow.
952
00:43:29,000 --> 00:43:32,550
Now the physical and
sexual attraction is significant,
953
00:43:32,560 --> 00:43:36,270
but the best antidote
is just to say,
954
00:43:36,280 --> 00:43:42,270
how can I every day work on
strengthening my relationship?
955
00:43:42,280 --> 00:43:45,270
And as long as you are
continuing to make progress
956
00:43:45,280 --> 00:43:47,030
week after week after week,
957
00:43:47,040 --> 00:43:49,640
think of where you'll be at the end.
958
00:43:51,440 --> 00:43:54,870
On that note,
I would like to go to a decision.
959
00:43:54,880 --> 00:43:58,680
OK. And I would love to start
with Dean first.
960
00:44:05,480 --> 00:44:09,030
It's obviously been a proper,
like, emotional time, like, together
961
00:44:09,040 --> 00:44:10,910
like, hard and like we're like,
962
00:44:10,920 --> 00:44:12,830
how do we get to that next stage?
963
00:44:12,840 --> 00:44:17,120
Cos how can I make someone
fancy me if they don't?
964
00:44:19,400 --> 00:44:21,430
But I do think we have got
a good base
965
00:44:21,440 --> 00:44:23,230
and I'm hoping it will come now.
966
00:44:23,240 --> 00:44:24,750
I'm still optimistic.
967
00:44:24,760 --> 00:44:27,310
I think this could be something
special, you know,
968
00:44:27,320 --> 00:44:28,590
something different.
969
00:44:28,600 --> 00:44:31,950
So it is a stay.
970
00:44:31,960 --> 00:44:33,960
APPLAUSE
971
00:44:36,480 --> 00:44:38,360
Thank you so much. Sarah.
972
00:44:45,560 --> 00:44:48,350
This journey has just been
so up and down.
973
00:44:48,360 --> 00:44:50,920
I can see all of the reasons
why we've been matched.
974
00:44:52,640 --> 00:44:55,550
And I really wanted
the nice guy and. I've got him
975
00:44:55,560 --> 00:44:58,720
and I just really want it to work
because you're such a nice guy.
976
00:45:02,800 --> 00:45:06,630
So I have decided to stay.
977
00:45:06,640 --> 00:45:07,750
Stay. OK.
978
00:45:07,760 --> 00:45:09,840
APPLAUSE
979
00:45:12,680 --> 00:45:15,950
We applaud that you're staying,
980
00:45:15,960 --> 00:45:17,790
and what I would encourage you
to do
981
00:45:17,800 --> 00:45:22,470
is think about how every day
you can develop something
982
00:45:22,480 --> 00:45:24,630
that is strengthening
your relationship.
983
00:45:24,640 --> 00:45:26,400
Thank you. Cheers. Thank you, guys.
984
00:45:48,200 --> 00:45:50,830
It was really hard to hear what Paul
had to say, and I apologise.
985
00:45:50,840 --> 00:45:54,030
Yeah. I'm sorry. It's not me.
It's not who I am.
986
00:45:54,040 --> 00:45:55,870
And maybe if I did have that spark,
987
00:45:55,880 --> 00:45:59,950
I wouldn't have said anything
like that, cos I wouldn't have.
988
00:45:59,960 --> 00:46:01,430
But there's not the spark there.
989
00:46:01,440 --> 00:46:04,070
So that's... That was the only
reason why I said it.
990
00:46:04,080 --> 00:46:06,400
I haven't meant it maliciously
at all.
991
00:46:07,760 --> 00:46:09,230
I don't want to hurt anyone.
992
00:46:09,240 --> 00:46:10,710
I'm being true to myself,
993
00:46:10,720 --> 00:46:12,910
but then it's coming across
really badly so...
994
00:46:12,920 --> 00:46:14,800
SHE SOBS
995
00:46:16,600 --> 00:46:18,400
Yeah, it's been a really hard week.
996
00:46:21,640 --> 00:46:24,070
Hearing that Sarah has been
disrespecting me
997
00:46:24,080 --> 00:46:25,310
has caught me off-guard.
998
00:46:25,320 --> 00:46:27,550
That is my probably biggest
red flag.
999
00:46:27,560 --> 00:46:31,670
It does hurt me and I can also feel
myself like dwindling my shine
1000
00:46:31,680 --> 00:46:33,430
and I don't want to lose me.
1001
00:46:33,440 --> 00:46:35,430
You OK?
1002
00:46:35,440 --> 00:46:38,230
From here, I think we're at a low,
1003
00:46:38,240 --> 00:46:40,270
but I think that's
when you bounce back.
1004
00:46:40,280 --> 00:46:41,750
There is so much there.
1005
00:46:41,760 --> 00:46:44,030
Like, I'm still willing
to trust and build
1006
00:46:44,040 --> 00:46:45,430
but it can never happen again.
1007
00:46:45,440 --> 00:46:48,000
Are you joking me?
It can never ever, happen again.
1008
00:46:55,400 --> 00:46:56,670
Sarah, are you OK?
1009
00:46:56,680 --> 00:46:59,430
Yeah, I just... OK. Yeah.
You know, I just feel bad.
1010
00:46:59,440 --> 00:47:01,150
We want everyone to grow, right?
1011
00:47:01,160 --> 00:47:03,910
And so anytime we see something,
we'll call it out.
1012
00:47:03,920 --> 00:47:06,550
But if you ever disagree,
if there's a disagreement,
1013
00:47:06,560 --> 00:47:08,990
hold us accountable
to the disagreement as well.
1014
00:47:09,000 --> 00:47:10,430
OK?
1015
00:47:10,440 --> 00:47:11,680
Thank you.
1016
00:47:14,760 --> 00:47:17,760
Next up to the couch we have Keye.
1017
00:47:23,560 --> 00:47:26,750
Hi, Keye. Hello. Good to see you.
Good to see you.
1018
00:47:26,760 --> 00:47:30,030
Sad to see that Davide's not here.
Me too.
1019
00:47:30,040 --> 00:47:32,670
So how was your wedding?
1020
00:47:32,680 --> 00:47:34,310
The wedding was amazing.
1021
00:47:34,320 --> 00:47:36,110
I was incredibly nervous,
1022
00:47:36,120 --> 00:47:38,830
but then Davide grabbed
both my hands
1023
00:47:38,840 --> 00:47:40,230
and said that he'd got us.
1024
00:47:40,240 --> 00:47:44,230
It kind of calmed me down and made
me feel really grounded and safe.
1025
00:47:44,240 --> 00:47:46,550
Lovely. And in terms of
attraction, would you say that
1026
00:47:46,560 --> 00:47:48,070
there was a real attraction there?
1027
00:47:48,080 --> 00:47:49,990
Oh, 100%. Have you seen Davide?
1028
00:47:50,000 --> 00:47:51,670
ALL LAUGH
1029
00:47:51,680 --> 00:47:53,110
We've all seen Davide!
1030
00:47:53,120 --> 00:47:55,190
He's got the most beautiful
brown eyes
1031
00:47:55,200 --> 00:47:57,070
with these little orange flecks.
1032
00:47:57,080 --> 00:48:00,390
Like, his smile
lights up an entire room.
1033
00:48:00,400 --> 00:48:01,880
He's just fantastic.
1034
00:48:03,120 --> 00:48:06,430
It sounds like you guys got off
to a really brilliant start.
1035
00:48:06,440 --> 00:48:10,440
Yeah. So let's move on
to my favourite question.
1036
00:48:11,760 --> 00:48:13,630
How's the intimacy
in your relationship?
1037
00:48:13,640 --> 00:48:16,590
It's wonderful. Thank you.
It's great.
1038
00:48:16,600 --> 00:48:19,070
Thank you.
I love that response. It's great.
1039
00:48:19,080 --> 00:48:21,670
It feels like you practised that.
1040
00:48:21,680 --> 00:48:23,590
The intimacy or the response?
1041
00:48:23,600 --> 00:48:25,160
LAUGHTER
1042
00:48:26,960 --> 00:48:30,630
The two of you sound like
you're in a really good place.
1043
00:48:30,640 --> 00:48:33,680
And it's so lovely to see
the progress of this relationship.
1044
00:48:35,000 --> 00:48:38,270
So we know
that Davide is a man of many words,
1045
00:48:38,280 --> 00:48:41,760
and he has very kindly written
a letter for you.
1046
00:48:45,120 --> 00:48:46,800
Thank you. OK.
1047
00:48:49,840 --> 00:48:51,710
Great.
1048
00:48:51,720 --> 00:48:53,950
"Hey there, you beautiful human.
1049
00:48:53,960 --> 00:48:56,630
"I have no words to explain how
amazing you are
1050
00:48:56,640 --> 00:48:58,120
"and how much I adore you.
1051
00:49:00,200 --> 00:49:03,630
"This last week I have seen us
go from strength to strength.
1052
00:49:03,640 --> 00:49:07,590
"And I could not be more proud
to have you as my husband,
1053
00:49:07,600 --> 00:49:10,430
"my Keye, that I'm falling for.
1054
00:49:10,440 --> 00:49:13,350
"I'm sorry that I'm not there
to let you know in person
1055
00:49:13,360 --> 00:49:15,270
"how much you mean to me.
1056
00:49:15,280 --> 00:49:19,790
"So for sure, I'll stay as long
as you want me to. Davide."
1057
00:49:19,800 --> 00:49:21,070
Aw!
1058
00:49:21,080 --> 00:49:23,000
APPLAUSE
1059
00:49:25,360 --> 00:49:27,430
Powerful words.
Yeah, it means a lot.
1060
00:49:27,440 --> 00:49:29,630
It means everything. Yeah.
1061
00:49:29,640 --> 00:49:33,070
We know what Davide's response
is to you.
1062
00:49:33,080 --> 00:49:34,840
What's your decision? Um...
1063
00:49:35,920 --> 00:49:39,310
Davide is finding ways
to make me smile every single day.
1064
00:49:39,320 --> 00:49:41,190
I'm honestly loving absolutely
every second
1065
00:49:41,200 --> 00:49:43,280
and can safely say
I am falling for him, too.
1066
00:49:44,720 --> 00:49:46,910
Which no one tell him
before I get a chance to.
1067
00:49:46,920 --> 00:49:48,470
LAUGHTER
1068
00:49:48,480 --> 00:49:50,590
So I will, of course, stay.
1069
00:49:50,600 --> 00:49:52,360
APPLAUSE
1070
00:49:54,480 --> 00:49:56,190
Nice, nice.
1071
00:49:56,200 --> 00:49:58,350
Thank you so much, Keye.
1072
00:49:58,360 --> 00:50:00,470
We love love, so it's so amazing
1073
00:50:00,480 --> 00:50:02,790
to see how well the two of you
are matched.
1074
00:50:02,800 --> 00:50:06,080
Fabulous. Thank you so much.
Good luck. Thank you. OK.
1075
00:50:10,280 --> 00:50:12,720
So frame that.
I am framing it.
1076
00:50:13,800 --> 00:50:16,280
Next on the couch,
if we could have...
1077
00:50:21,040 --> 00:50:23,310
...Leigh and Leah. Come on up.
1078
00:50:23,320 --> 00:50:25,480
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
1079
00:50:27,760 --> 00:50:28,880
Yeah!
1080
00:50:30,000 --> 00:50:31,310
Hi, ladies.
1081
00:50:31,320 --> 00:50:32,790
LEAH SIGHS
1082
00:50:32,800 --> 00:50:35,150
How are you both? Good. Phenomenal.
1083
00:50:35,160 --> 00:50:37,950
All right. Can we start
with the wedding?
1084
00:50:37,960 --> 00:50:39,790
It was just a mad experience.
1085
00:50:39,800 --> 00:50:41,870
Yeah. It was surreal.
1086
00:50:41,880 --> 00:50:44,230
So what did you think
when you saw Leigh?
1087
00:50:44,240 --> 00:50:45,950
I thought she was really cute.
1088
00:50:45,960 --> 00:50:47,310
And obviously she's beautiful.
1089
00:50:47,320 --> 00:50:49,830
I think straight away I just
had this, like, thing in my head.
1090
00:50:49,840 --> 00:50:52,870
I was like, she's gonna be
an annoying little princess.
1091
00:50:52,880 --> 00:50:54,870
I think cos I've seen,
like, princess dress.
1092
00:50:54,880 --> 00:50:56,910
And then I seen she has a little
bit of attitude
1093
00:50:56,920 --> 00:50:58,760
and I thought,
"Nah, she's all right."
1094
00:51:00,000 --> 00:51:02,920
All right.
So, Leah, what did you think?
1095
00:51:05,960 --> 00:51:07,630
I think it was just a bit of a shock
1096
00:51:07,640 --> 00:51:10,590
because it's like so far
from what I would normally go for
1097
00:51:10,600 --> 00:51:12,350
in a romantic sense.
1098
00:51:12,360 --> 00:51:15,440
I never go for more feminine women.
1099
00:51:16,760 --> 00:51:19,070
It's not just
about physical type,
1100
00:51:19,080 --> 00:51:21,310
like hair colour or eye colour
or things like that.
1101
00:51:21,320 --> 00:51:25,670
I've never felt physically attracted
to a girly woman.
1102
00:51:25,680 --> 00:51:27,030
I can appreciate their beauty.
1103
00:51:27,040 --> 00:51:28,750
I can say
that they look stunning,
1104
00:51:28,760 --> 00:51:30,150
which Leah absolutely is,
1105
00:51:30,160 --> 00:51:34,670
but there's like a persona
of a person in the gay community
1106
00:51:34,680 --> 00:51:36,390
that I am usually attracted to,
1107
00:51:36,400 --> 00:51:38,880
and Leah is not that person.
1108
00:51:39,960 --> 00:51:42,870
Fair enough.
And that's a great explanation.
1109
00:51:42,880 --> 00:51:46,590
But I've realised since
being in this experiment with Leah
1110
00:51:46,600 --> 00:51:49,390
that I've spent the last
year and a bit,
1111
00:51:49,400 --> 00:51:50,830
since I became single,
1112
00:51:50,840 --> 00:51:54,430
building myself up from being
really let down by someone,
1113
00:51:54,440 --> 00:51:58,750
and I've realised
I've shut myself off
1114
00:51:58,760 --> 00:52:02,190
so much from when I was hurt
1115
00:52:02,200 --> 00:52:05,350
that I'm now struggling
to turn it back on.
1116
00:52:05,360 --> 00:52:08,030
I'm like, I don't know how
to get it going again.
1117
00:52:08,040 --> 00:52:09,910
Leigh, what you're telling us
is that,
1118
00:52:09,920 --> 00:52:13,470
"Hey, I've had the door shut
and it was bolted shut
1119
00:52:13,480 --> 00:52:16,670
"and I'm now just taking
the locks off of the door."
1120
00:52:16,680 --> 00:52:20,630
So, challenging to start...
Yeah. ..a marriage like this.
1121
00:52:20,640 --> 00:52:25,150
Mm-hm. All right. But now the work
that you need to do is
1122
00:52:25,160 --> 00:52:30,190
how do you establish
a stronger emotional connection?
1123
00:52:30,200 --> 00:52:32,550
And I think the beauty is
that the result
1124
00:52:32,560 --> 00:52:34,590
is going to be positive
no matter what.
1125
00:52:34,600 --> 00:52:37,430
Like, it's going to lead to a
better understanding of self. Yeah.
1126
00:52:37,440 --> 00:52:38,510
It maybe just leads to,
1127
00:52:38,520 --> 00:52:41,790
"You know what, I'm now willing
to open the door all the way."
1128
00:52:41,800 --> 00:52:43,110
Right? Mm.
1129
00:52:43,120 --> 00:52:45,110
But no matter what,
it's going to be a win.
1130
00:52:45,120 --> 00:52:47,910
Yeah. I think the worry is,
1131
00:52:47,920 --> 00:52:50,390
like, how do we get
to the next step?
1132
00:52:50,400 --> 00:52:51,950
This is a popular question.
1133
00:52:51,960 --> 00:52:54,030
How do you get out
of the friend zone?
1134
00:52:54,040 --> 00:52:57,310
I find one of the
most productive strategies
1135
00:52:57,320 --> 00:53:02,110
is to think about how you would
behave outside of the friend zone
1136
00:53:02,120 --> 00:53:03,430
and just behave like that.
1137
00:53:03,440 --> 00:53:05,430
That's what I have
actually been trying to do.
1138
00:53:05,440 --> 00:53:06,710
Like, I'm a little bit more...
1139
00:53:06,720 --> 00:53:09,070
OK, I need to be vulnerable,
I need to be open.
1140
00:53:09,080 --> 00:53:11,030
I don't even feel like
you're necessarily, like,
1141
00:53:11,040 --> 00:53:12,350
going through these paces, though,
1142
00:53:12,360 --> 00:53:15,390
cos you are just being
open and vulnerable.
1143
00:53:15,400 --> 00:53:16,710
Yeah. You know what I mean?
1144
00:53:16,720 --> 00:53:19,190
I'm still trying. Like,
I'm trying to be like that.
1145
00:53:19,200 --> 00:53:20,630
If I'm honest, I feel like
1146
00:53:20,640 --> 00:53:23,150
who's more willing
to make this work? 100% me.
1147
00:53:23,160 --> 00:53:24,600
Yeah. In my opinion.
1148
00:53:26,520 --> 00:53:28,710
You are making more of an effort.
You are being tactile.
1149
00:53:28,720 --> 00:53:31,800
You are doing all of these things
and I'm not able to get there.
1150
00:53:33,480 --> 00:53:36,310
Leah, if you were not
in the friend zone,
1151
00:53:36,320 --> 00:53:38,670
what would your relationship
look like?
1152
00:53:38,680 --> 00:53:41,350
I think being more tactile
with one another,
1153
00:53:41,360 --> 00:53:43,550
maybe more flirty with one another,
1154
00:53:43,560 --> 00:53:45,800
having a snog now and again. OK.
1155
00:53:47,120 --> 00:53:49,350
Everything that you've said
that you need
1156
00:53:49,360 --> 00:53:50,550
is what I would be
1157
00:53:50,560 --> 00:53:52,640
if those natural feelings
were there.
1158
00:53:53,960 --> 00:53:56,910
But I've just had a block there.
It's stopping me from doing it
1159
00:53:56,920 --> 00:53:59,230
cos I've never wanted
to feel like I'm leading Leah on.
1160
00:53:59,240 --> 00:54:01,150
I just don't see it as that deep.
1161
00:54:01,160 --> 00:54:03,350
I can have a flirt
and have a snog now and again.
1162
00:54:03,360 --> 00:54:04,750
I don't see it that deep.
1163
00:54:04,760 --> 00:54:07,030
And it's never going to lead me on.
1164
00:54:07,040 --> 00:54:08,430
I overthink it a bit.
1165
00:54:08,440 --> 00:54:10,790
She overthinks.
I'm not an overthinker.
1166
00:54:10,800 --> 00:54:13,310
At the end of the day, I would
encourage you
1167
00:54:13,320 --> 00:54:17,270
to experiment with
what the behaviour is
1168
00:54:17,280 --> 00:54:18,830
to be out of the friend zone.
1169
00:54:18,840 --> 00:54:20,840
Whatever that is, practise that.
1170
00:54:22,880 --> 00:54:24,630
So let's go to the decision.
1171
00:54:24,640 --> 00:54:26,160
Leah, you'll go first.
1172
00:54:28,240 --> 00:54:31,990
I feel like it has been a tough week
for me this week,
1173
00:54:32,000 --> 00:54:35,550
but I'm optimistic
and I'm very hopeful.
1174
00:54:35,560 --> 00:54:39,630
I see why we've been matched
in so many different ways,
1175
00:54:39,640 --> 00:54:42,070
and I'm happy and grateful
of being matched with her.
1176
00:54:42,080 --> 00:54:43,790
So I vote stay.
1177
00:54:43,800 --> 00:54:45,920
APPLAUSE
1178
00:54:50,960 --> 00:54:54,150
I know that I've been a little
bit difficult to deal with
1179
00:54:54,160 --> 00:54:56,880
because my head's been a little bit
all over the place.
1180
00:54:59,360 --> 00:55:01,070
You've been so patient
1181
00:55:01,080 --> 00:55:04,270
and still throwing yourself
into it 100%
1182
00:55:04,280 --> 00:55:06,390
and being completely vulnerable
with me,
1183
00:55:06,400 --> 00:55:09,030
even when I haven't been able
to give that back to you.
1184
00:55:09,040 --> 00:55:10,800
And so that I'm really grateful for.
1185
00:55:14,960 --> 00:55:17,470
Yeah, and I am hopeful
to see where it goes.
1186
00:55:17,480 --> 00:55:19,510
So for that reason I wrote stay.
1187
00:55:19,520 --> 00:55:21,480
APPLAUSE
1188
00:55:26,680 --> 00:55:28,270
Well done to both of you.
1189
00:55:28,280 --> 00:55:29,990
Stop overthinking everything.
1190
00:55:30,000 --> 00:55:32,390
I'm gonna try. Right?
Just be in the moment.
1191
00:55:32,400 --> 00:55:34,470
Thank you so much.
Thank you. Thank you.
1192
00:55:34,480 --> 00:55:36,840
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
1193
00:55:46,440 --> 00:55:49,030
Next up to the couch,
if we can have Anita and Paul.
1194
00:55:49,040 --> 00:55:51,520
APPLAUSE
1195
00:55:56,520 --> 00:55:58,670
Oof! Hey, guys. Hi. Hey, hey.
1196
00:55:58,680 --> 00:56:01,430
Hi. How are you both?
1197
00:56:01,440 --> 00:56:02,830
OK, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
1198
00:56:02,840 --> 00:56:05,710
OK. All right. Yeah.
Let's go to the wedding.
1199
00:56:05,720 --> 00:56:08,070
Anita, what were your thoughts?
1200
00:56:08,080 --> 00:56:09,790
There was a fun element
straight away.
1201
00:56:09,800 --> 00:56:11,830
We kind of laughed nearly all day,
didn't we?
1202
00:56:11,840 --> 00:56:14,350
Yeah. Yeah, it was a good day.
1203
00:56:14,360 --> 00:56:15,670
All right.
1204
00:56:15,680 --> 00:56:17,590
Paul, how was the day for you?
1205
00:56:17,600 --> 00:56:20,510
It was excitement, then laughter.
1206
00:56:20,520 --> 00:56:22,510
Conversation was very easy.
1207
00:56:22,520 --> 00:56:24,590
After talking for a while,
1208
00:56:24,600 --> 00:56:27,110
I thought there was potential
to build.
1209
00:56:27,120 --> 00:56:29,950
I thought, "OK, now it begins."
1210
00:56:29,960 --> 00:56:31,470
Now it begins.
1211
00:56:31,480 --> 00:56:34,350
All right, so you're looking forward
to the honeymoon?
1212
00:56:34,360 --> 00:56:38,510
Yeah. I thought we could build
from the wedding day.
1213
00:56:38,520 --> 00:56:41,190
Anita, are you looking forward
to the honeymoon?
1214
00:56:41,200 --> 00:56:44,230
Yeah, because he is a fun guy
to be around.
1215
00:56:44,240 --> 00:56:46,110
He did make me laugh nearly all day.
1216
00:56:46,120 --> 00:56:50,590
So, yeah, going forward,
I knew we could have a good time.
1217
00:56:50,600 --> 00:56:52,150
So as we go into the honeymoon,
1218
00:56:52,160 --> 00:56:55,230
you begin to investigate
shared values,
1219
00:56:55,240 --> 00:56:56,910
shared outlook on life.
1220
00:56:56,920 --> 00:56:59,950
What did you notice that
the two of you shared?
1221
00:56:59,960 --> 00:57:02,150
So much. So much? OK. Like what?
1222
00:57:02,160 --> 00:57:03,710
We've got the same values.
1223
00:57:03,720 --> 00:57:05,830
Same values?
Yeah. Family orientated.
1224
00:57:05,840 --> 00:57:08,590
OK. Same morals. All right.
1225
00:57:08,600 --> 00:57:11,270
It feels like things are good.
1226
00:57:11,280 --> 00:57:14,790
The outside stuff
matched us perfectly,
1227
00:57:14,800 --> 00:57:16,870
but when it comes to
the inner deep stuff,
1228
00:57:16,880 --> 00:57:19,270
the emotional and the attraction,
1229
00:57:19,280 --> 00:57:21,840
we couldn't be so far apart
on the scale.
1230
00:57:23,120 --> 00:57:27,790
Paul's a good talker,
but when you pin him down to talk,
1231
00:57:27,800 --> 00:57:31,670
he deviates around
the relationship side.
1232
00:57:31,680 --> 00:57:33,310
So are you really saying
1233
00:57:33,320 --> 00:57:37,990
Paul wasn't emotionally connecting
with you?
1234
00:57:38,000 --> 00:57:40,750
No connection,
no emotional connection.
1235
00:57:40,760 --> 00:57:42,510
No communication.
1236
00:57:42,520 --> 00:57:45,590
Yeah, just miles apart.
1237
00:57:45,600 --> 00:57:47,030
OK, OK.
1238
00:57:47,040 --> 00:57:49,470
To be fair, I didn't really
give Anita
1239
00:57:49,480 --> 00:57:51,550
anything emotional to grip on to.
1240
00:57:51,560 --> 00:57:53,430
All my other barriers
are down. Right.
1241
00:57:53,440 --> 00:57:54,950
All my cards are on the table.
1242
00:57:54,960 --> 00:57:57,550
And I think Anita knows that.
And she saw them.
1243
00:57:57,560 --> 00:58:00,480
I struggle to open up emotionally.
It's hard for me.
1244
00:58:01,640 --> 00:58:04,670
Paul, when you and I met
on a one-to-one,
1245
00:58:04,680 --> 00:58:06,590
I felt like you were quite open.
1246
00:58:06,600 --> 00:58:07,830
So I'm wondering,
1247
00:58:07,840 --> 00:58:11,870
was there something that you needed
in this interaction
1248
00:58:11,880 --> 00:58:16,230
to made you feel a little bit
more able to open up?
1249
00:58:16,240 --> 00:58:19,350
I can interact all day.
I can talk to you all day.
1250
00:58:19,360 --> 00:58:22,630
When it comes to affairs of the
heart with the opposite sex
1251
00:58:22,640 --> 00:58:24,870
in a relationship,
I'm a different beast.
1252
00:58:24,880 --> 00:58:27,150
That's when it feels
a bit difficult to do?
1253
00:58:27,160 --> 00:58:30,390
It feels extremely awkward
and difficult, yeah.
1254
00:58:30,400 --> 00:58:35,070
It sounds like on the honeymoon,
Anita, you were observing Paul
1255
00:58:35,080 --> 00:58:37,990
in terms
of his emotional availability.
1256
00:58:38,000 --> 00:58:40,630
You have placed him in this box,
1257
00:58:40,640 --> 00:58:43,950
but it sounds like you've
permanently placed him in the box
1258
00:58:43,960 --> 00:58:47,760
because everyone can become
emotionally available.
1259
00:58:49,400 --> 00:58:50,430
Did you feel like
1260
00:58:50,440 --> 00:58:54,510
because he's not bringing
that to the table now,
1261
00:58:54,520 --> 00:58:56,550
I want nothing to do with him?
1262
00:58:56,560 --> 00:58:59,030
No. I put him in that box
1263
00:58:59,040 --> 00:59:03,600
because he said he wasn't
in that headspace to be available.
1264
00:59:04,680 --> 00:59:08,030
He's on a self-discovery journey
and I'm on a love journey.
1265
00:59:08,040 --> 00:59:10,030
So until he's discovered himself
1266
00:59:10,040 --> 00:59:12,990
and found out what he actually
really needs in his life...
1267
00:59:13,000 --> 00:59:15,350
Are those two mutually exclusive?
1268
00:59:15,360 --> 00:59:16,670
They're on different paths.
1269
00:59:16,680 --> 00:59:18,360
Are they, Anita?
1270
00:59:20,120 --> 00:59:21,360
I have no idea.
1271
00:59:22,760 --> 00:59:25,590
What we're saying is
that the two can exist together,
1272
00:59:25,600 --> 00:59:28,470
so you can be on a journey
to find love
1273
00:59:28,480 --> 00:59:32,390
and you can also find yourself
on that journey as well.
1274
00:59:32,400 --> 00:59:34,150
Yeah. OK. All right.
1275
00:59:34,160 --> 00:59:35,630
Honeymoon is done.
1276
00:59:35,640 --> 00:59:37,510
Yep. You move into the apartments.
1277
00:59:37,520 --> 00:59:39,110
Ish.
1278
00:59:39,120 --> 00:59:40,270
Ish?
1279
00:59:40,280 --> 00:59:43,470
For about ten minutes.
What happened?
1280
00:59:43,480 --> 00:59:46,830
Went into the apartments,
and I just thought,
1281
00:59:46,840 --> 00:59:48,830
"I just don't know
if I can do this."
1282
00:59:48,840 --> 00:59:50,790
The thing that tipped me
over the edge,
1283
00:59:50,800 --> 00:59:52,750
it was like a make or break thing
in my head.
1284
00:59:52,760 --> 00:59:54,870
It was just like, "Paul, what's
the name of my two children?"
1285
00:59:54,880 --> 00:59:56,120
And he just went...
1286
00:59:58,320 --> 01:00:00,710
That was the communication thing.
1287
01:00:00,720 --> 01:00:04,110
And the lack of interest
in me was kind of like, well...
1288
01:00:04,120 --> 01:00:05,670
SHE SCOFFS
1289
01:00:05,680 --> 01:00:08,670
And was that because Paul
hadn't asked you
1290
01:00:08,680 --> 01:00:10,270
the names of your children?
1291
01:00:10,280 --> 01:00:12,990
I've spoke about my children.
I've actually said their names.
1292
01:00:13,000 --> 01:00:15,350
Right. The grandchildren as well,
I've spoke about them.
1293
01:00:15,360 --> 01:00:18,310
So you felt like Paul
just wasn't listening to you,
1294
01:00:18,320 --> 01:00:21,790
and because he wasn't listening,
he wasn't truly interested in you?
1295
01:00:21,800 --> 01:00:23,870
Yeah. OK.
1296
01:00:23,880 --> 01:00:27,750
In my brain, there's no real point
of pursuing it.
1297
01:00:27,760 --> 01:00:29,350
OK. It's interesting.
1298
01:00:29,360 --> 01:00:31,150
So, Paul, what's your take?
1299
01:00:31,160 --> 01:00:32,830
I have my children's tattooed names
1300
01:00:32,840 --> 01:00:35,030
and dates of birth on my arm
for a reason,
1301
01:00:35,040 --> 01:00:36,590
cos I can't remember nothing.
1302
01:00:36,600 --> 01:00:39,950
I talk constantly
and I put all my cards on the table
1303
01:00:39,960 --> 01:00:41,510
cos that's how I operate.
1304
01:00:41,520 --> 01:00:44,270
I volunteer the information.
1305
01:00:44,280 --> 01:00:47,320
How Anita operates is she likes
to be asked the information.
1306
01:00:51,120 --> 01:00:53,150
So...
1307
01:00:53,160 --> 01:00:55,230
At the end of the day,
why are you here?
1308
01:00:55,240 --> 01:00:57,270
To find love.
1309
01:00:57,280 --> 01:00:59,270
Well, what does that mean to you?
1310
01:00:59,280 --> 01:01:00,880
A partner in crime.
1311
01:01:02,360 --> 01:01:04,710
Somebody to walk alongside us.
1312
01:01:04,720 --> 01:01:06,750
Still be holding hands
when we're 80.
1313
01:01:06,760 --> 01:01:08,240
Somebody who's there for you.
1314
01:01:10,320 --> 01:01:13,520
Now, Paul, what do you want?
1315
01:01:17,120 --> 01:01:19,950
Invariably, I want to find
a partner, I want to find love.
1316
01:01:19,960 --> 01:01:22,880
I want to cry with somebody.
Laugh with someone.
1317
01:01:24,320 --> 01:01:28,590
So how is what you just said, Paul,
and what you just said, Anita,
1318
01:01:28,600 --> 01:01:31,910
different in terms of
what you're looking for?
1319
01:01:31,920 --> 01:01:33,320
Or is it the same?
1320
01:01:34,480 --> 01:01:35,790
I want love.
1321
01:01:35,800 --> 01:01:39,390
Is what you described
what Paul just described?
1322
01:01:39,400 --> 01:01:41,440
Yeah. OK, so what's the problem?
1323
01:01:43,560 --> 01:01:45,030
Ultimately, you both said
1324
01:01:45,040 --> 01:01:47,710
you want to have someone
who will support you.
1325
01:01:47,720 --> 01:01:50,710
And I think that's the place
to remain focussed on
1326
01:01:50,720 --> 01:01:52,440
is be each other's support.
1327
01:01:54,880 --> 01:01:56,640
Can we go to a decision?
1328
01:01:59,480 --> 01:02:00,880
Anita.
1329
01:02:04,680 --> 01:02:06,200
Paul's a lovely man.
1330
01:02:07,840 --> 01:02:09,350
He's the gentleman I asked for,
1331
01:02:09,360 --> 01:02:10,840
who he really is attentive.
1332
01:02:12,320 --> 01:02:15,600
I'm totally seeing
why you matched us up...
1333
01:02:17,480 --> 01:02:20,160
...but I still feel
that I'm missing something.
1334
01:02:25,440 --> 01:02:27,240
So for that reason...
1335
01:02:28,600 --> 01:02:29,960
...I wrote leave.
1336
01:02:45,720 --> 01:02:46,920
I'm missing something.
1337
01:02:52,160 --> 01:02:53,920
So for that reason...
1338
01:02:55,400 --> 01:02:56,760
...I wrote leave.
1339
01:03:05,240 --> 01:03:06,950
So, Paul?
1340
01:03:06,960 --> 01:03:08,240
Um...
1341
01:03:11,360 --> 01:03:15,470
For me, it's about building
that trust and respect,
1342
01:03:15,480 --> 01:03:17,600
building that emotional bond.
1343
01:03:19,240 --> 01:03:20,950
I'm sorry it wasn't happening
at the start.
1344
01:03:20,960 --> 01:03:22,710
I do apologise for that.
1345
01:03:22,720 --> 01:03:25,640
I feel a little bit inadequate
that I didn't provide that.
1346
01:03:26,840 --> 01:03:28,160
That's alright.
1347
01:03:34,520 --> 01:03:37,070
But it's the start of the journey.
I'm going to stay.
1348
01:03:37,080 --> 01:03:38,430
CHEERING
1349
01:03:38,440 --> 01:03:39,680
Yes, Paul!
1350
01:03:43,040 --> 01:03:47,230
So if one person writes stay,
1351
01:03:47,240 --> 01:03:49,470
then the couple must stay
1352
01:03:49,480 --> 01:03:52,960
and continue to work
on their relationship.
1353
01:03:54,600 --> 01:03:56,550
Now let me give you my opinion.
1354
01:03:56,560 --> 01:04:00,390
The miscommunication is
in the listening
1355
01:04:00,400 --> 01:04:02,270
and the asking of the questions.
1356
01:04:02,280 --> 01:04:06,640
If those are done,
this relationship becomes stronger.
1357
01:04:08,280 --> 01:04:10,280
So are you prepared
to give this a go?
1358
01:04:18,000 --> 01:04:18,990
Yep.
1359
01:04:19,000 --> 01:04:20,430
SMALL CHEER
1360
01:04:20,440 --> 01:04:22,400
APPLAUSE
1361
01:04:23,600 --> 01:04:25,910
Paul, are you prepared
to give this a go?
1362
01:04:25,920 --> 01:04:27,430
Yes.
1363
01:04:27,440 --> 01:04:29,910
CHEERING
1364
01:04:29,920 --> 01:04:31,110
SHE EXHALES
1365
01:04:31,120 --> 01:04:33,310
Paul, clearly, you
have homework to do here.
1366
01:04:33,320 --> 01:04:35,550
Yep. And, Anita, if you think about
1367
01:04:35,560 --> 01:04:38,590
what can you be doing to strengthen
the relationship.
1368
01:04:38,600 --> 01:04:40,830
Thank you, both. Thank you.
Thanks very much.
1369
01:04:40,840 --> 01:04:42,200
Thank you, guys. Thank you.
1370
01:04:44,600 --> 01:04:48,710
I wrote leave because
what's the point in wasting time?
1371
01:04:48,720 --> 01:04:51,390
I'm hoping that Paul takes the
expert's advice
1372
01:04:51,400 --> 01:04:53,790
and he has listened this time.
1373
01:04:53,800 --> 01:04:57,350
Doesn't listen much to me, so
hopefully he has a light bulb moment
1374
01:04:57,360 --> 01:04:59,880
and thinks,
"Yeah, I've got to try opening up."
1375
01:05:01,080 --> 01:05:04,070
Rejection is a very difficult thing
to cope with.
1376
01:05:04,080 --> 01:05:06,870
A little bit disappointed
that she doesn't want to try.
1377
01:05:06,880 --> 01:05:09,710
It's only been eight days. Really?
1378
01:05:09,720 --> 01:05:13,310
I'm hoping Anita can look
at the differences we've got
1379
01:05:13,320 --> 01:05:16,120
and work together to build
the marriage going forward.
1380
01:05:19,040 --> 01:05:20,640
Next up to the couch...
1381
01:05:24,680 --> 01:05:25,830
...we have Maeve.
1382
01:05:25,840 --> 01:05:27,680
CHEERING
1383
01:05:29,840 --> 01:05:32,190
Hiya. Hi, Maeve.
You all right? Yeah.
1384
01:05:32,200 --> 01:05:33,670
Lovely to see you. How are you?
1385
01:05:33,680 --> 01:05:36,510
Of course, Joe's not feeling
very well,
1386
01:05:36,520 --> 01:05:38,310
so we're just really keen to know
1387
01:05:38,320 --> 01:05:40,870
how the whole process
has been for you.
1388
01:05:40,880 --> 01:05:43,070
So take me back to the wedding.
1389
01:05:43,080 --> 01:05:46,150
What were your first impressions
of Joe?
1390
01:05:46,160 --> 01:05:47,830
I was a little bit intimidated.
1391
01:05:47,840 --> 01:05:50,710
Like, I couldn't
make eye contact with him.
1392
01:05:50,720 --> 01:05:52,910
He was looking at me,
and I was just like...
1393
01:05:52,920 --> 01:05:54,630
Like, I couldn't look at him.
1394
01:05:54,640 --> 01:05:57,310
What do you think was going on there
for you?
1395
01:05:57,320 --> 01:05:59,510
He's very good looking
and I'm just thinking, like,
1396
01:05:59,520 --> 01:06:03,200
"Oh, my God, he's not going
to find me attractive whatsoever."
1397
01:06:05,160 --> 01:06:08,110
Feels was quite sad
to hear you say that.
1398
01:06:08,120 --> 01:06:09,790
Because I've always got
that self doubt about us,
1399
01:06:09,800 --> 01:06:11,070
do you know what I mean?
1400
01:06:11,080 --> 01:06:13,110
Cos I always go on
like I'm loud and confident,
1401
01:06:13,120 --> 01:06:15,350
but I am quite, like, shy inside.
1402
01:06:15,360 --> 01:06:19,800
And when I saw him I thought,
"Nah, he's not gonna like us."
1403
01:06:22,080 --> 01:06:26,390
Sounded like you felt
a bit intimidated when you saw Joe.
1404
01:06:26,400 --> 01:06:28,190
Yeah.
1405
01:06:28,200 --> 01:06:30,270
And then you went on honeymoon?
1406
01:06:30,280 --> 01:06:32,000
Yeah. What happened?
1407
01:06:33,880 --> 01:06:36,590
I argued with him,
and he said something,
1408
01:06:36,600 --> 01:06:39,590
and I took it out of context
completely.
1409
01:06:39,600 --> 01:06:42,190
I could feel myself getting angry
with him,
1410
01:06:42,200 --> 01:06:44,670
and I had to take myself out
of the situation
1411
01:06:44,680 --> 01:06:47,550
because I thought,
"I don't want to be angry at you."
1412
01:06:47,560 --> 01:06:51,030
Do you think
because you felt quite intimidated
1413
01:06:51,040 --> 01:06:54,750
that made you think, "OK, let
me kind of ruffle feathers here?"
1414
01:06:54,760 --> 01:06:57,270
Yeah. I could feel myself
bubbling up, thinking,
1415
01:06:57,280 --> 01:06:59,150
"I'm gonna kick off.
I'm gonna kick off."
1416
01:06:59,160 --> 01:07:01,430
So you felt quite triggered
in that moment? Mm-hm.
1417
01:07:01,440 --> 01:07:03,430
OK.
I could feel myself liking him
1418
01:07:03,440 --> 01:07:04,510
and I was thinking,
1419
01:07:04,520 --> 01:07:06,670
"I don't want to go through
the heartache again.
1420
01:07:06,680 --> 01:07:08,430
"I don't want to go through
the shit times again."
1421
01:07:08,440 --> 01:07:10,190
I can't do it. I can't, I can't...
1422
01:07:10,200 --> 01:07:14,670
Like, I'm trying to be vulnerable
but I really struggle doing that.
1423
01:07:14,680 --> 01:07:17,270
I don't want people
to see that side.
1424
01:07:17,280 --> 01:07:20,990
And how did you resolve
the argument with Joe?
1425
01:07:21,000 --> 01:07:23,110
You know, when I said I want someone
to speak to us softly,
1426
01:07:23,120 --> 01:07:26,190
like, when I'm having bad moments,
that's exactly what he did.
1427
01:07:26,200 --> 01:07:27,990
My heart...
1428
01:07:28,000 --> 01:07:29,710
Aw!
1429
01:07:29,720 --> 01:07:32,510
And, like, I'm just so grateful
that that's what he did,
1430
01:07:32,520 --> 01:07:35,950
cos I know I'm not an easy person
to be around when I'm like that.
1431
01:07:35,960 --> 01:07:39,990
He's so nice. There's so much more
to him than what he looks like
1432
01:07:40,000 --> 01:07:42,390
He's absolutely incredible.
1433
01:07:42,400 --> 01:07:43,670
Yeah. I was getting in my head.
1434
01:07:43,680 --> 01:07:45,510
I was thinking, "Oh, my God,
I like him. I like him.
1435
01:07:45,520 --> 01:07:47,750
"What am I going to do here?"
1436
01:07:47,760 --> 01:07:49,590
I don't want to be nasty to him.
1437
01:07:49,600 --> 01:07:51,470
I'm feeling too much in my head
1438
01:07:51,480 --> 01:07:53,950
because I struggle liking people.
1439
01:07:53,960 --> 01:07:55,750
Because you feel that, what?
1440
01:07:55,760 --> 01:07:58,750
I don't know, I just feel like
it's always going to end bad.
1441
01:07:58,760 --> 01:08:00,960
I think he's too good for me.
1442
01:08:03,560 --> 01:08:05,790
I mean, it's quite heartbreaking
to hear you say that.
1443
01:08:05,800 --> 01:08:08,710
Yeah. That you feel
he's too good for you.
1444
01:08:08,720 --> 01:08:10,190
Well, he is.
1445
01:08:10,200 --> 01:08:11,790
No. No, he's not. No...
1446
01:08:11,800 --> 01:08:13,550
OVERLAPPING CHATTER
1447
01:08:13,560 --> 01:08:15,590
He adores her so much.
1448
01:08:15,600 --> 01:08:19,030
Maybe there might be things
that Joe could do differently
1449
01:08:19,040 --> 01:08:21,070
to help you to feel more secure.
1450
01:08:21,080 --> 01:08:23,350
He doesn't do anything wrong.
You know what I mean?
1451
01:08:23,360 --> 01:08:24,670
So Joe's perfect?
1452
01:08:24,680 --> 01:08:25,990
I'm not... No one's perfect.
1453
01:08:26,000 --> 01:08:28,470
If you do nothing wrong,
you're perfect.
1454
01:08:28,480 --> 01:08:30,710
Well, he's... Oh, I don't...
1455
01:08:30,720 --> 01:08:33,270
Well, he's perfect to me so far.
1456
01:08:33,280 --> 01:08:37,310
OK, but now let's talk about
your part in this.
1457
01:08:37,320 --> 01:08:41,600
Because you, Maeve,
are the classic self sabotager.
1458
01:08:43,160 --> 01:08:46,080
But that comes
from having low self-worth.
1459
01:08:47,600 --> 01:08:50,750
Low self-worth comes from
lots of places
1460
01:08:50,760 --> 01:08:53,390
but in particular
from horrible relationships
1461
01:08:53,400 --> 01:08:55,230
where we have been trounced on
1462
01:08:55,240 --> 01:08:57,160
time and time again.
1463
01:08:58,360 --> 01:09:00,830
And then you look at yourself
and you say, "You know what,
1464
01:09:00,840 --> 01:09:03,030
"I'm not worthy to have a great
relationship."
1465
01:09:03,040 --> 01:09:05,790
And we also place people on
pedestals
1466
01:09:05,800 --> 01:09:07,590
and that's what you're doing.
1467
01:09:07,600 --> 01:09:10,920
You're saying, "I'm not worthy
to be with someone that perfect."
1468
01:09:14,200 --> 01:09:15,870
You need to love on yourself more.
1469
01:09:15,880 --> 01:09:17,350
SHE SCOFFS
1470
01:09:17,360 --> 01:09:18,640
You do.
1471
01:09:24,800 --> 01:09:29,390
What do you do to love on yourself?
1472
01:09:29,400 --> 01:09:31,560
I don't know. Nothing.
1473
01:09:33,000 --> 01:09:35,150
Everyone's on a path here.
1474
01:09:35,160 --> 01:09:38,430
And so what I hope for you
in this path
1475
01:09:38,440 --> 01:09:41,470
is that you find your self-worth.
1476
01:09:41,480 --> 01:09:46,590
This is more important
than your relationship with Joe.
1477
01:09:46,600 --> 01:09:48,390
You understand this? Yeah.
1478
01:09:48,400 --> 01:09:49,640
OK.
1479
01:09:53,200 --> 01:09:55,070
Let's go to the decisions, Maeve.
1480
01:09:55,080 --> 01:09:56,390
Oh.
1481
01:09:56,400 --> 01:09:58,830
I've had a bit of a roller coaster
of emotions,
1482
01:09:58,840 --> 01:10:00,310
like, with this journey,
1483
01:10:00,320 --> 01:10:04,150
and I've been vulnerable
as much as I can be,
1484
01:10:04,160 --> 01:10:08,270
but obviously I want to be
a bit more vulnerable
1485
01:10:08,280 --> 01:10:11,670
and I want to give myself
a little bit more self-love.
1486
01:10:11,680 --> 01:10:13,070
That's the main one.
1487
01:10:13,080 --> 01:10:17,030
So what I have decided is
that I'm gonna stay.
1488
01:10:17,040 --> 01:10:19,200
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
1489
01:10:23,040 --> 01:10:25,350
So hold on, hold on. Wait.
1490
01:10:25,360 --> 01:10:27,750
Joe obviously can't be here,
1491
01:10:27,760 --> 01:10:31,070
but he has let us know his decision.
1492
01:10:31,080 --> 01:10:35,600
And I can tell you he has decided
to stay.
1493
01:10:36,800 --> 01:10:37,840
That's good.
1494
01:10:39,240 --> 01:10:44,270
Well, Maeve, I hope you grow to love
yourself as much as we all love you.
1495
01:10:44,280 --> 01:10:47,190
Right, can I go now?
You can now.
1496
01:10:47,200 --> 01:10:48,390
Thanks, Maeve.
1497
01:10:48,400 --> 01:10:50,240
APPLAUSE
1498
01:10:55,960 --> 01:10:57,750
Imagine if the fucker
said leave.
1499
01:10:57,760 --> 01:10:59,910
THEY GIGGLE
1500
01:10:59,920 --> 01:11:02,310
Next on the couch,
Nelly and Steven.
1501
01:11:02,320 --> 01:11:04,000
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
1502
01:11:09,080 --> 01:11:10,990
Hi. Hello. Hello, hello.
1503
01:11:11,000 --> 01:11:13,510
Welcome. Lovely to see
the two of you.
1504
01:11:13,520 --> 01:11:17,350
Lovely to see you.
So let's start from the beginning.
1505
01:11:17,360 --> 01:11:18,710
How was your wedding?
1506
01:11:18,720 --> 01:11:19,990
Wedding was amazing. Yeah?
1507
01:11:20,000 --> 01:11:22,310
Couldn't have asked
for a better day, to be honest.
1508
01:11:22,320 --> 01:11:24,670
I was a little bit concerned
when I turned around
1509
01:11:24,680 --> 01:11:26,590
and saw six guys walking towards me.
1510
01:11:26,600 --> 01:11:28,630
I thought,
"Hang on, where's the wife?"
1511
01:11:28,640 --> 01:11:31,190
Um... But yeah,
once I saw her being carried
1512
01:11:31,200 --> 01:11:36,030
in on a dolly and saw her face,
my first word was just, "Wow."
1513
01:11:36,040 --> 01:11:38,790
Yeah, that was nice.
Just like a portrait.
1514
01:11:38,800 --> 01:11:40,950
Oh, my God.
Like, this is going to be my wife.
1515
01:11:40,960 --> 01:11:43,470
Like, this is the person I'm going
to say "I do" to and give my all to.
1516
01:11:43,480 --> 01:11:45,750
So yeah, I was really
in that moment, then.
1517
01:11:45,760 --> 01:11:47,760
That's when I was like,
"OK, I'm ready."
1518
01:11:49,400 --> 01:11:51,950
And, Nelly,
what was your experience?
1519
01:11:51,960 --> 01:11:56,870
As soon as I saw Steven,
I just felt really calm.
1520
01:11:56,880 --> 01:11:58,750
I just got a really nice vibe
from him.
1521
01:11:58,760 --> 01:12:00,110
For me, it was really important
1522
01:12:00,120 --> 01:12:02,030
that my partner would value family
a lot
1523
01:12:02,040 --> 01:12:03,750
because I'm really close to mine.
1524
01:12:03,760 --> 01:12:05,310
So that was amazing to see.
1525
01:12:05,320 --> 01:12:08,750
Yeah. It was really, really special.
It was really nice.
1526
01:12:08,760 --> 01:12:10,750
Sounding absolutely amazing.
1527
01:12:10,760 --> 01:12:13,710
I'm very hopeful that you're going
to say the same thing
1528
01:12:13,720 --> 01:12:16,270
about the honeymoon.
Were sparks still flying?
1529
01:12:16,280 --> 01:12:19,150
Yeah. We had such an amazing time.
Yeah.
1530
01:12:19,160 --> 01:12:21,670
And where did you go?
To Jamaica.
1531
01:12:21,680 --> 01:12:25,710
We just literally just felt
that whole Jamaican aura.
1532
01:12:25,720 --> 01:12:29,230
We didn't bicker
and just got on so well.
1533
01:12:29,240 --> 01:12:32,670
We laughed a lot. Yeah, we just had
a really good time.
1534
01:12:32,680 --> 01:12:35,430
We get on, we have a similar
sense of humour,
1535
01:12:35,440 --> 01:12:37,400
we are really playful
with each other.
1536
01:12:38,720 --> 01:12:40,080
It's exactly what I wanted.
1537
01:12:41,760 --> 01:12:42,910
But I always just think, like,
1538
01:12:42,920 --> 01:12:45,040
well, when's something
going to go wrong?
1539
01:12:47,320 --> 01:12:49,190
It sounds like there's a part of you
that's thinking
1540
01:12:49,200 --> 01:12:50,830
this is too good to be true.
1541
01:12:50,840 --> 01:12:52,590
Yeah. Exactly that.
1542
01:12:52,600 --> 01:12:54,630
Kind of waiting
for something to happen,
1543
01:12:54,640 --> 01:12:57,000
and it freaks me out a little bit
that it hasn't.
1544
01:12:58,120 --> 01:13:00,750
Why aren't we arguing?
Why haven't you irritated me?
1545
01:13:00,760 --> 01:13:02,440
Why haven't I irritated you?
1546
01:13:04,240 --> 01:13:06,430
I end up trying to look
for something.
1547
01:13:06,440 --> 01:13:08,070
So, for example,
1548
01:13:08,080 --> 01:13:12,110
I love how affectionate you were
on our honeymoon.
1549
01:13:12,120 --> 01:13:14,350
Like... Yeah. And then I'd come
back to the apartment,
1550
01:13:14,360 --> 01:13:15,910
and I would kind of think,
1551
01:13:15,920 --> 01:13:17,550
"He's not given me a kiss
this morning."
1552
01:13:17,560 --> 01:13:19,070
And then I get in my head and think,
1553
01:13:19,080 --> 01:13:20,960
"Yeah, it's cos
he doesn't like you."
1554
01:13:23,000 --> 01:13:24,870
And then he will give me a kiss
and I think,
1555
01:13:24,880 --> 01:13:26,390
"Oh, that was nice.
He does like me."
1556
01:13:26,400 --> 01:13:28,430
And it's just constant.
1557
01:13:28,440 --> 01:13:30,070
And I even feel saying this now,
I'm thinking
1558
01:13:30,080 --> 01:13:32,190
"Oh, my God. This is going to give
him the ick
1559
01:13:32,200 --> 01:13:33,920
"and it's going to push him away."
1560
01:13:48,720 --> 01:13:49,910
It's just constant.
1561
01:13:49,920 --> 01:13:51,950
And I even feel saying this
now I'm thinking,
1562
01:13:51,960 --> 01:13:54,030
"Oh, my God. This is going to give
him the ick
1563
01:13:54,040 --> 01:13:55,760
"and it's going to push him away."
1564
01:14:01,440 --> 01:14:03,750
Do you know why you do that? No.
1565
01:14:03,760 --> 01:14:07,520
Your last three relationships,
how did those end?
1566
01:14:08,800 --> 01:14:10,680
They all cheated on me. Right.
1567
01:14:11,920 --> 01:14:15,320
So they betrayed your trust.
1568
01:14:17,720 --> 01:14:20,950
Whenever our trust is betrayed
over and over again,
1569
01:14:20,960 --> 01:14:25,830
we develop what's called
a hypervigilance for red flags.
1570
01:14:25,840 --> 01:14:28,550
Because you have to learn
to protect yourself. OK.
1571
01:14:28,560 --> 01:14:33,070
So you now are in this mode
of self-protection.
1572
01:14:33,080 --> 01:14:34,510
But you know what the problem is
1573
01:14:34,520 --> 01:14:36,230
when you're just looking
for red flags?
1574
01:14:36,240 --> 01:14:37,750
You don't see the green ones.
1575
01:14:37,760 --> 01:14:39,880
You miss all the beautiful
green ones. Yeah.
1576
01:14:41,640 --> 01:14:43,910
And so the best advice
I can give on this
1577
01:14:43,920 --> 01:14:48,150
is become hypervigilant
about green flags.
1578
01:14:48,160 --> 01:14:51,310
OK. Retrain your brain.
1579
01:14:51,320 --> 01:14:52,670
And that's how you do it.
1580
01:14:52,680 --> 01:14:54,150
Obviously on the reassurance,
1581
01:14:54,160 --> 01:14:55,590
that comes a little bit harder
for me.
1582
01:14:55,600 --> 01:14:58,350
I get frustrated myself
cos I know I should give a lot more.
1583
01:14:58,360 --> 01:15:00,550
Exactly. Yeah.
I was going to say this.
1584
01:15:00,560 --> 01:15:02,710
You have to actually say it,
1585
01:15:02,720 --> 01:15:05,390
and it's very important
for you to be consistent.
1586
01:15:05,400 --> 01:15:07,910
And what you know is that
you do have to reassure
1587
01:15:07,920 --> 01:15:09,800
and you have to do that
consistently.
1588
01:15:11,040 --> 01:15:14,230
And, Nelly,
at the dinner party yesterday,
1589
01:15:14,240 --> 01:15:17,590
we saw you get quite emotional...
Yeah.
1590
01:15:17,600 --> 01:15:20,150
...when it came to the honesty box
1591
01:15:20,160 --> 01:15:23,190
and you worrying
about being too much.
1592
01:15:23,200 --> 01:15:27,470
I just kind of worry
that if I show too much emotion...
1593
01:15:27,480 --> 01:15:30,430
In my last relationship,
I would be too emotional sometimes.
1594
01:15:30,440 --> 01:15:31,630
Or if I get tearful, it was,
1595
01:15:31,640 --> 01:15:33,150
"Oh, for God's sake,
you're crying again."
1596
01:15:33,160 --> 01:15:34,950
Sometimes I think I shouldn't
give those emotions
1597
01:15:34,960 --> 01:15:36,470
cos what if that happens again?
1598
01:15:36,480 --> 01:15:40,310
And then, yeah, the tears
kept leaking from my face.
1599
01:15:40,320 --> 01:15:42,950
I really applaud the fact
that you did that,
1600
01:15:42,960 --> 01:15:46,510
and I could see that
wasn't an easy thing for you to do.
1601
01:15:46,520 --> 01:15:48,270
I would like to also say, though,
1602
01:15:48,280 --> 01:15:52,070
that it is really important for you
to be kinder to yourself,
1603
01:15:52,080 --> 01:15:55,030
and I would encourage you
to acknowledge that, actually,
1604
01:15:55,040 --> 01:15:57,110
it's all right to show emotion.
1605
01:15:57,120 --> 01:16:00,270
It says a lot more
about your ex-partners
1606
01:16:00,280 --> 01:16:03,150
that they weren't able to hold that.
1607
01:16:03,160 --> 01:16:06,110
What I'm seeing here
is that Steven can.
1608
01:16:06,120 --> 01:16:09,110
He can be there for you.
And. we're seeing that right now.
1609
01:16:09,120 --> 01:16:10,310
Yeah.
1610
01:16:10,320 --> 01:16:12,390
I feel it.
1611
01:16:12,400 --> 01:16:13,950
I do. Thank you.
1612
01:16:13,960 --> 01:16:16,510
Sorry. Tell me. What are you like?
1613
01:16:16,520 --> 01:16:18,110
Trying to poke you in the eye.
1614
01:16:18,120 --> 01:16:19,640
APPLAUSE
1615
01:16:20,720 --> 01:16:25,590
Steven, how was it for you to hear
Nelly be so vulnerable yesterday?
1616
01:16:25,600 --> 01:16:27,910
In a weird sense, it's pleasing.
1617
01:16:27,920 --> 01:16:31,270
Obviously, I never want to see
the person I'm with, like, cry.
1618
01:16:31,280 --> 01:16:32,350
It shows that she cares.
1619
01:16:32,360 --> 01:16:34,470
It shows that she's willing
to be vulnerable.
1620
01:16:34,480 --> 01:16:37,230
But I've kept little memories
and little moments to then
1621
01:16:37,240 --> 01:16:39,590
on those random days
where maybe she's feeling
1622
01:16:39,600 --> 01:16:41,270
a little bit too much
in her head
1623
01:16:41,280 --> 01:16:45,030
to be like, "Well, look, here's
what this week's meant to me.
1624
01:16:45,040 --> 01:16:47,470
"Here's our week
in a small little bag."
1625
01:16:47,480 --> 01:16:49,670
The reassurance I'll give,
I like to do it through action
1626
01:16:49,680 --> 01:16:51,710
and not purely through words
all the time.
1627
01:16:51,720 --> 01:16:53,230
She walked in the other day
1628
01:16:53,240 --> 01:16:54,790
and I had a little bit
and I thought,
1629
01:16:54,800 --> 01:16:57,070
picked her up, gave her a kiss
and sort of...
1630
01:16:57,080 --> 01:16:59,510
Tackled me to the floor,
but I loved it. That's what I want.
1631
01:16:59,520 --> 01:17:01,750
It's fun. It's playful.
I want stuff like that.
1632
01:17:01,760 --> 01:17:04,190
You two sound like you're falling
for each other.
1633
01:17:04,200 --> 01:17:06,070
You can definitely say you're on
the path for that
1634
01:17:06,080 --> 01:17:07,510
cos there's been nothing wrong.
1635
01:17:07,520 --> 01:17:10,110
So you're on the path?
Yeah, you're on the path. Yeah. 100%
1636
01:17:10,120 --> 01:17:12,470
I am. I'm just gonna have to say it.
1637
01:17:12,480 --> 01:17:15,350
I probably would say I feel like I'm
a little bit more ahead of Steven.
1638
01:17:15,360 --> 01:17:18,310
And I'll agree to that, cos she's
allowed herself to be vulnerable.
1639
01:17:18,320 --> 01:17:20,350
So she's taken
those extra couple of steps.
1640
01:17:20,360 --> 01:17:23,550
I haven't yet. So until I make
that step and jump ahead,
1641
01:17:23,560 --> 01:17:26,030
then we can start walking,
like, hand-in-hand again.
1642
01:17:26,040 --> 01:17:28,030
SHE LAUGHS
1643
01:17:28,040 --> 01:17:31,030
Can we go to a decision?
1644
01:17:31,040 --> 01:17:34,910
Well, I am really grateful
to have been matched
1645
01:17:34,920 --> 01:17:38,030
with you in this process
and I love being around you.
1646
01:17:38,040 --> 01:17:41,110
I am looking forward
to doing this journey with you,
1647
01:17:41,120 --> 01:17:44,990
and I really want to know
a little bit more about you.
1648
01:17:45,000 --> 01:17:47,470
Um, so I put stay.
1649
01:17:47,480 --> 01:17:48,750
Stay.
1650
01:17:48,760 --> 01:17:50,600
APPLAUSE
1651
01:17:51,760 --> 01:17:53,990
And, Steven what's, your decision?
1652
01:17:54,000 --> 01:17:55,870
It's leading in the right direction
for me
1653
01:17:55,880 --> 01:17:59,150
and I'm saying I'm fully committed
to opening up a little bit more.
1654
01:17:59,160 --> 01:18:00,470
But, yeah, I'm fully in.
1655
01:18:00,480 --> 01:18:03,270
I've been fully in
since I see you in that dolly.
1656
01:18:03,280 --> 01:18:05,910
So, yeah, for me, it's 100% stay
1657
01:18:05,920 --> 01:18:07,510
with a little smiley face.
1658
01:18:07,520 --> 01:18:09,520
I put smiley as well. See?
1659
01:18:13,520 --> 01:18:15,670
I think the two of you are just made
for each other.
1660
01:18:15,680 --> 01:18:17,790
I'm so excited
to see where this goes,
1661
01:18:17,800 --> 01:18:19,790
and we wish you all the best
for the rest of the week.
1662
01:18:19,800 --> 01:18:22,550
Thank you. I appreciate that.
Yeah, thank you so much.
1663
01:18:22,560 --> 01:18:23,950
Thank you. Woo!
1664
01:18:23,960 --> 01:18:26,120
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
1665
01:18:27,360 --> 01:18:30,830
I'm really glad that, actually,
Paul highlighted what I'm doing
1666
01:18:30,840 --> 01:18:32,670
because I knew I was doing it,
1667
01:18:32,680 --> 01:18:34,390
but I didn't know how to stop it.
1668
01:18:34,400 --> 01:18:36,150
Thank you.
1669
01:18:36,160 --> 01:18:39,270
100% I'm going to be focusing
on the green flags more.
1670
01:18:39,280 --> 01:18:41,920
I feel better. Yeah,
I feel more reassured already.
1671
01:18:45,840 --> 01:18:46,910
Next time...
1672
01:18:46,920 --> 01:18:48,550
Hello.
1673
01:18:48,560 --> 01:18:49,910
...it's experts week.
1674
01:18:49,920 --> 01:18:51,870
Do I have permission
to remove your robe?
1675
01:18:51,880 --> 01:18:54,310
While some couples
lean into physical intimacy...
1676
01:18:54,320 --> 01:18:57,070
Oh! I hope you know where the key
is for that.
1677
01:18:57,080 --> 01:18:59,950
...Anita's patience with Paul
wears even thinner.
1678
01:18:59,960 --> 01:19:01,470
Surely you should know
what you want by now.
1679
01:19:01,480 --> 01:19:04,230
Are you expecting me to be fully
committed after two weeks?
1680
01:19:04,240 --> 01:19:07,590
I need to know
where this relationship's going.
1681
01:19:07,600 --> 01:19:09,070
No, I'm not hanging around.
1682
01:19:09,080 --> 01:19:12,790
And an unwanted interference
in one couple's marriage...
1683
01:19:12,800 --> 01:19:14,390
Other people don't need
to know my shit,
1684
01:19:14,400 --> 01:19:18,030
cos you'll see a side of me
which you probably won't like.
1685
01:19:18,040 --> 01:19:19,110
I'm not having you say that
1686
01:19:19,120 --> 01:19:21,150
I was trying to come between your
relationship. I'm not.
1687
01:19:21,160 --> 01:19:22,950
Couldn't give a flying fuck,
if I'm completely honest.
1688
01:19:22,960 --> 01:19:24,110
I'm here for my relationship.
1689
01:19:24,120 --> 01:19:26,110
...causes two husbands to collide.
1690
01:19:26,120 --> 01:19:29,000
Telling people
just basically fuck off.
1691
01:19:30,640 --> 01:19:34,120
You're not part of this
relationship, so see yourself out.
133114
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