All language subtitles for Love.and.Hip.Hop.Atlanta.S11E20.Panic.At.The.Disco.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-BurCyg_track3_[eng]

- * MTV *

- Previously on
"Love and Hip Hop Atlanta"...

- It's like a spiritual
thing that they're

known for in Belize.

So I'm on this healing journey.

I just want to be
a better person.

- This is Kai.

- Oh, hello.
- Good.

- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.

- I'm cool on Sonya.

I don't even want
to put it out no more,

you know what I'm saying?

And it has nothing
to do with you.

It has everything
to do with your man.

- You know, that's
[bleep] up though, sis.

- I'm not gonna lie.
- I ain't [bleep] lying.

- It's [bleep] up?
- Yeah, that's [bleep] up.

- How is it [bleep] up?

- I would never do that to you.

- Yeah, I just moved here.

Yeah, I just moved here.

- Wait, why'd you move here?

- I just felt like
I fell in love.

I was like, I got to go.

Yeah, we still newlywed.

- We almost there?

- Feel sick?

- Yeah.

- She's shaking again.
- She's shaking bad.

- [retching]

[funky music]

- * This is the life *

- * It's the life
that we're livin' *

- * This is the life *

- * It's the life
that we chose *

- * This is the life *

* It's the life
that we're livin' *

- * This is the life *

- * It's the life
that we chose *

- * Make my way to the top *

* And it ain't no stoppin' *

- [retching]

- Throw it all up.
Get it out.

Throw it up.

Hey dog, my friend, she--
she's having real bad shakes.

She has a hole in
her kidney too, so...

I don't know what to do.

And I never see Rene
like this before.

We are nowhere near
civilization right now.

And this is the
worst time and place

for this to be happening.

I just called my doctor.

He said that you need
to go to the hospital.

- Let's put her in this
front seat of the white Jeep.

- Yeah.

- We got to go to the hospital.

I don't joke about nothing
when it come on to them stuff.

- I ain't going to lie,
I'm kind of scared,

because Renni told me
something a couple of weeks ago

about her kidney.

So I'm just panicking.

I'm just like, God,
please let my friend be OK.

- * You know I got
this [...] for real *

* God damn,
I'm really about it *

* You know to come
to me correct *

* When we start
talking profits *

- This is my mom.

- Boy, I thought
that was your sister.

What's up, beautiful woman?

- * Yeah, I'm not the one
for small talk *

* Small talk *

* When you hit on my line,
it's money talk *

- Guess who the bartenders
are for the day.

It's shot o'clock, bitch.

Are y'all come turn up with us
at Dancing Crepe.

- Shot o'clock.
- Shots is on me.

- * I'm not the one
to kiss your [...] *

* To get some action popping *

* I'm hella major
with my [...] *

* I get it in, no guidance *

- I'm trying to do
things different.

- It's the new you now.

- It's the new me.

Shaking off all
the bull[bleep].

- * I get dough,
I get cheese *

* I get moolah *

* I get green *

* I get money, money, money *

* You can check
out my receipts *

* I get bread *

* I get Benjamins *

- That one right
there is so nice.

- 33 karat diamonds, $55,000.

- 55,000?

Ooh!

Let me just feel what
55,000 feel on my wrist.

- Now it looks more expensive.
- Right.

[chuckles]

Dude, the price just went up.

Me buying jewelry, I've never
bought jewelry from nobody.

Like, I don't even think I
bought my mama no jewelry.

I'm here in Atlanta for love.

I felt such a deep
connection with Santana.

I want to give him everything
that he wants and he needs.

And I feel like this
is what he likes.

He's a material girl.

[upbeat funky music]

* *

- So I'm meeting Zell
and the jeweler in Atlanta.

Zell Is such
a wonderful boyfriend.

I love being spoiled.

So I'm about to pull up
and see what I can get.

- Yeah, that's nice, that one.

Ooh, that be fine.

Hey.

- What's up?

- Me and Saucy,
we started dating,

and then we took a break.

But we just couldn't
do without each other.

But like, my guards
are still kind of up.

Last time, I felt
like I was just left,

like, in just, like, an uproar.

Like, it was just like
I-- like, hold on, wait,

this is over?
Wait, we done?

Santana does a lot.

- How you like it from
here as opposed to LA?

- LA is a little
different, like,

you know what I'm saying?
- Hollywood.

- Yeah.

You know,
I love that Hollywood.

- So you don't think
this is Black Hollywood?

- No.

I just think this
is Atlanta, Atlanta.

[both chuckle]

Give me a kiss.

I feel like you--

- Zell, stop playing
with me, boy.

- Give me a kiss.

- It's like, I don't
want to kiss you.

I want to kiss the diamonds.

- You guys know that
I've never, like,

been one of those people
that's been out, like, oh,

yeah, this is my boyfriend.

Oh, I'm like that.

Like, I was never
comfortable with myself

to bring that to the public.

- I want you to put on
this paper what you want,

the best things
to happen to you.

- Mine's was a wife and kids.

Just because I'm gay,
I'm still a man.

I'm still going to
operate myself like a man,

you know what I'm saying?

- Well, what is a man?

- Stop acting like
you're not gay.

You're gay!
- I'm not [bleep].

- You're gay!

- I'm just saying
that I'm nothing!

I said, I was raised
by a real [bleep]!

With Santana, he just made
me so comfortable with myself

and just like,
with him, that like I just

feel, like, I want the
whole universe to know that,

like, this is my
man, we together.

You want to see?

You want to see the
one that I got for you?

- Yeah.

- Here you go.

- There you go.

- How much it cost?

- Don't worry about all that.

- Yeah, I need to
know the price.

Is it 10,000, 3,000, 2,000?

- You just worry about
putting it on your wrist.

* *

It complements your wrist.

- Yeah.

- A little something,
a little dainty.

- It's like a little piece.

I like it.

Zell buys me stuff a lot.

Whenever he get,
like, a check,

he want to spend it
on your girl.

You know, Zell is very ready
to put a ring on it, have kids.

I like grown men.

I don't like men that
act like little boys.

So what you feel
about, like, dating me?

I feel like a lot of people
gave you a lot of backlash,

you know,
me being feminine, nails,

makeup, purses, all of that.

- I don't care.

This is my real life
and my real feelings.

Me and you really got
to know each other.

I really feel like I know you.

- Mm-hmm.

- So I don't want nothing
I do to hinder who you are.

I want anything
about me to enhance you,

like, you know what I'm saying?

And vice versa, so...

- You have different
types-- we are

different types of
gays, but we all

gay collectively and together.

- I'm open for
all that gay [bleep].

[laughter]

Maybe we can invite some of
my little Atlanta friends.

I mean, just, like,
you know, can I show you off?

- Oh yeah, on Instagram,
FaceTime, for sure.

I feel like I've grown,
I've elevated.

Zell doesn't see.

I feel, like, a bigger
picture for himself sometimes.

Zell put his friends
before everybody,

and that's a big problem
in our relationship.

You don't know when to
hold 'em when to fold 'em.

- Why can't I just
show off our love?

Sometimes we have to meet,
like, in the middle on that,

like, you know what I'm saying?

- Most of your
friends in Atlanta

that you're trying to get me
to be around I know through TV.

- Right.

- So narratives that I see, or
just different drama that they

got going on, and that's
just not something that I'm

just excited to dive into.

- Give me a kiss.

- Stop doing that,
stop doing that.

[giggles]
I'm anti-PDA.

I'm not-- I'm not mushy.

I'm not a very
affectionate person.

So it's like, uhh.

You want a kiss on the cheek?

You're going to
mess up my lipstick.

- OK, yeah, I'll do that,
because I don't want to--

* *

- Hey, what's up, Bill?

How's it going, man?

- What's going on, Bill?

Today, I'm meeting
with my lawyer.

And you know, in support
of me, I brought my manager

and I brought Khat.

I initially decided
that I did not

want to re-sign with
1501 after finding

out that my contract ended.

However, 30 days later,
Carl pulls out of his ass

a contract that says that
I'm still signed to him.

He wants us to finish
out these two projects

that he claims that I owe.

I don't know how that happened.

So now we're here.

- I'm right here.

- I know, I know.

- I'm here right now
with Erika because I see

what she's been going through.

Between what Erika going
through with the label

and her calling me
out in the Bahamas

for whatever she
think I did with Amy,

I'm kind of treading
on thin ice.

I really want to show her that
I'm still going to support her

and I'ma still have her back.

- Listen, I know y'all not
going to want to hear this.

- Mm.

- But I reviewed
the 1501 agreements,

and they have
a decent position.

If we pursue litigation,
it's a long process.

- OK.

- And it could put
your career on hold.

- Mm.

Like, how long?

- Well, I mean,
a civil trial could

take four years to get there.

- OK, that's crazy.

That's insane.

I honestly feel trapped
in this situation.

At this point, I just want to
get the [bleep] out the deal.

Do you think
it's worth going back

and settling for another year
just for the sake of peace?

I don't know.

I need to think about this.

I'm trying to go about it
the smartest way possible.

And filing a lawsuit
would probably

be the longer road for me.

And I want to take the
shortest road possible.

- [exhales]
You good?

- I'm good. I'm good.

We gonna figure
this [bleep] out.

Sit down.

Would you rather go
the mediation way

or would you rather go to war?

- I would rather mediate.

Because I feel like
you talk about going to war,

you got a lot
of good stuff going on.

You got your project coming.

- Yeah.

- You got your single
out doing good.

- Yeah.
- You got good things going on.

So we ain't--
we can't go to war.

- You right.

- Because you know you
can get a little hot.

You a little hothead.
- I do.

- I like that.

But you know I like
that feisty fighting

because I be liking when you
be putting me in my place.

- You already
trying to do that.

Boy, stop.

You always just got
to go the extra mile.

- Coming up on
"Love and Hip Hop Atlanta"...

- Erica Banks, she got on
this song a long time ago.

- This song you
want me to be on?

- Yes.

- I think I got better
insight on my feelings.

- Are you ready
to apologize to Banks?

- I'm not apologizing.

- I don't know.

- * Make my way to the top
and it ain't no stoppin' *

- * Make my way to the top
and it ain't no stoppin' *

[funky music]

- * Teach you how to talk
privates, islands, diamonds *

- I've obviously been
going through so much.

Everything has just
been all over the place.

* Bitch, I've been popping *

* Check your ho facts *

* Bitch, you been bopping *

- Ever since my divorce, things
career-wise and artistically

have been going up.

On the other hand, my life has
been pretty much in shambles.

I have been attacked by
everybody in this fake palace.

It's insane.

- * From the bottom *

* I was never
on no cheap [...] *

* Stood 10 toes,
never fold *

* Not a weak bitch *

So Momma Dee releases
this diss track.

* Thirsty-ass ho *

* You broke-ass bitch *

* Scrap [...]
you was just a glitch *

- And I just don't
need that [bleep] tonight.

Why are you still
talking about me?

I am no longer your son's wife.

You can have your son back.

So I'm putting my phone away.

I'm turning
the notifications off,

because I am so ready
to put the past behind me

and start focusing
on the things that

mean the most to me,
my children and my career.

* Show you how to talk
private, islands, diamonds *

[upbeat funky music]

* *

- So yeah, let me hear
it from the top again.

Kai's been wanting to
work with new artists.

So he's putting a showcase
together tomorrow.

One thing about me,
I manifest everything,

so you know I'ma perform.

Look at you.

I love your outfit.

- Karlie Redd invited
me to this session.

And she's playing this song
and automatically, I'm like,

this is actually a hit.

What's going on in here?

What are we doing?

- So you know,
I'm just, like, listening

to the song in the loudspeakers
so I can hear how it really,

you know what I'm saying?

- It's different in the studio.

- But come on.

But that's not the only
reason I brought you here.

- Uh-oh.

Girl, so what is up?

I saw you at your
beach event with TJ.

I still wanted to, like,
console you about some

of the stuff that happened.

But I was like,
should I mention the Bahamas?

Spice's behavior was wild.

- You're a [bleep] up
individual Karlie Redd.

You, let me tell you something.

[bleep].
Lemme tell you something.

It can wait till the
cameras stop rolling.

- You see how she attacked me?

- Calm down, Karlie.

- She attacked me.

- Sometimes you have
to look at a person

and say, you know what?

The friendship was seasonal,
I guess, and move forward.

You've got a lot
of stuff going on.

Where do you start?

- That's actually what I
wanted to talk to you about.

I want you to be
on this record.

- The beat that was playing?
- Yes.

- Girl, I'm already on it.
I'm [bleep] on this [bleep].

Yes.
- [screams]

- All right.

- Thank you.

- Bitch, I'm trying to
get on all the bangers.

- Things move fast in my world.

I know that Amy can lay
this track down by today,

and we can do
a performance by tomorrow.

And that's why I asked
her, because I know she

professional,
and I know she's going

to get it done within seconds.

Actually, Erica Banks, she got
on this song a long time ago.

- This song you
want me to be on?

- Yes.

- What happened with her?

- I seen Erica and Khaotic
at Chad event the other day.

So I'm like, oh,
hey, girl, what's up?

And she was like, well,
I don't want to do

the record with you no more.

And I was, like, OK.
You know, why?

Why not?

What's what's going on?

And she was like,
because of your man.

- And why?

- She don't like him.

- It's giving bitter artist

for her to try [bleep]
on the record.

- Yeah.

And she-- and she
specifically said

it was only because of him.

- Here we go, more
bull[bleep] with Erica Banks.

But it's only one Amy Luciani.

It's not about who
was on the record,

it's about what I'm
about to do on the song.

I try to not mix too much
business and pleasure

and personal feelings.

If that's your man,
she needs to respect that,

- Yeah.
- I can relate to it.

- So what's been
going on with you?

- I got back with my ex,
and things between us

have actually been good.

But right now, my main concern
is getting my family on board.

They're really strong
on how they feel.

And I did share a lot of
personal stuff that he did.

- So Mommy's not in
agreeance with this?

- My mom is totally against
us getting back together.

Mazi said a lot during the
breakup, all this bull[bleep].

I know people are looking
at me crazy, like,

you're going to forgive that?

But honestly, I'm not
asking them permission.

I'm kind of just letting
them know where this thing

is going because we're back.

But anyway, it's Karlie
working with the superstar

producers, honey.
- Thank you.

- Coming out here.
And guess what.

I definitely want
to do the song.

- Thanks.

- One, because it's hot,
and I'm a little petty.

- [chuckles]

- Like, I swear to god.

- * Hot *

* Hot like a temperature *

* We hot *

* Turn up the AC
'cause we hot *

* The party light up
'cause we hot *

* We hot, we hot, we hot *

* Feeling the fever *

* We hot *

- I was born with a hole
in one of my kidneys.

So it's been an issue
since I was a child,

but it has nothing to do with
all of the drama earlier.

The doctors were afraid
that I had a heat stroke.

But after a little bit
of rest and some water,

I'm ready to get back to it.

Because now that we're
here, baby, this is my vibe.

And I'm so glad that
Spice included us in this

and let us be
a part of her show.

- Belize, how you feeling?

[crowd cheering]

* Gimme a S, S, S,
Gimme a P, P, P *

* Gimme a I, I, I,
gimme a C and an E *

* Bubbly, bubbly *

* Come watch me wobble it *

* Like a ball, me a juggle it *

* Every man want to cuddle it *

* So I'ma bubble it,
bubble it, bubble it *

* Bubble it bubble it,
bubble it bubble, bubble it *

Belize is a small,
small place.

So just looking at the
crowd and the audience,

you no blind.

You see the whole of
Belize come out fi me.

This is like the
whole country is here.

It no get better than this.

Some of my friends
came all the way

from Atlanta to support me.

[crowd cheering]

I called all three of them.

If they don't make me have
a good time in Belize,

I'm not going to
come back to Belize.

So if they don't dance and be
on stage, I can't come back.

Let's go!

* Send, send, send *

* Send it up, send it up *

* Send, send, send *

* Send it up, send it up *

* Send, send, send *

* Send it up, send it
up inna mi belly *

* Send it up deep in bed *

* Send, send, send *

* Send it up, send it up *

* Send, send, send *

* Send it up, send it up,
drop inna mi hole *

* Send, send, send *

* Send it up send it up
inna mi belly, belly, belly *

- All right, give it up!

[crowd cheering]

- This show is so lit.

I'm out here showing my ass.

Renni hitting splits.

Sierra dancing her ass off.

Everybody's out of character
a little bit, and I love it.

- Just I look around
the crowd, and the vibe,

everything just
gets me excited.

And it just reminds me
of how grateful I should

be for this journey, this life
that God has blessed me with,

another second chance.

[indistinct].

- * Flood out the patek
top of the hill *

* Snow out my neck
like Buffalo Bills *

- * Drop, drop, drop, drop *

- * Snow out my neck
like Buffalo Bills *

* [vocalizing] *

* *

You need them Megan knees.

- Hi, baby.

- No, it sounded good.

- Do you like it?
- Yeah.

You look good--
- Thank you.

- --sound good.

- Do you like this one?

- Vogue, Vogue.
I almost know the--

I almost know the moves.

- Make sure you
give it to me there.

- Not right now, not right now.

I've been knowing
Jessica White for a long time

since my heydays in Hollywood.

She called me up to ask
me to come to the studio.

I don't know if--

Jessica, being a
singer and dancer,

I just know her doing the
walk, walk down the runway.

But hey, maybe this is a
new opportunity for her

that I don't know about.

I'm excited to see Jessica.

I haven't seen her in a while.

- You know Bang?

- I don't know him, but I
know all his songs though.

- Right, all of his songs.

Bang, this is my friend Zell.

- Nice to meet you.

- Nice to meet you too, man.

- So I'm in the dance
studio rehearsing

for my new track, "Vogue,"
which Bangladesh produced.

I've known Zell
for a very long time.

He's going to tell
you the truth,

Zell is a straight shooter.

And I respect his opinion.

And I'm hoping that he
really loves the music.

- That's what's up, though.

Like, I'm excited for you.
- Me too.

Thank you, baby.
- That sounds so good.

- It's so funny,
because he was talking

about somebody can rap on it,
like, we need a third verse.

And he was like, I think we
need to get Saucy Santana.

- You know that's my boo.

- That's his boyfriend.

- Yeah, that's my boyfriend.

I don't want to mix
business with pleasure.

Like, I'm going to be nice
and just say, yes,

I'm gonna ask my man
just for you.

I definitely can set it
up, go to the studio,

and see what works out.

- Yeah, for sure.

I love Saucy Santana.

I'm a fan of his music.

I just love
the way that Saucy was

able to showcase who
he was, his sexuality,

and be respected in regards
to still just being an artist.

- But yeah, obviously
you been working out.

Girl, you been in here
dancing and duck walking.

Oh, my knees.

- Duck walking is a [bleep].

- Yeah.

What's been going on with you?

- I'm doing the song.

I'm doing the music.

That's what I'm really
pushing right now.

I've had a few years off
from my public career.

Now I'm back in the public eye.

And I'm trying
to do things my way

and take control of my
life like Janet Jackson.

- Which you should.
- I have a question.

- What?

- Because I'm all
about love these days,

even though I don't have love.

Um, have you met
Saucy's family yet?

- Yeah, yeah.

I met his family.

We had-- his grandmother was
having her birthday party.

So I got to meet
his mom, his sister,

his grandmother, some cousins.

I need him to meet
my family, though.

- But you do need him
to meet your family.

- I want our families, like,
to meet up in one place

and like, just have it
all, like, in one place

just so I can see.

And I just want him to
see where I came from

and like, what, like, who I am.

- It's giving marriage.

- Yeah.

No, it's giving-- I'm
finding a surrogate.

I'm looking for a surrogate
right now for these kids.

- Yes. Well, I wish I could
be your surrogate,

but you know I got
my own [bleep] going on.

Well, I wish you guys well.

- I appreciate it,
and I know you really do.

And I appreciate
just like, your love.

Like, you know you give
off, like, this vibe.

- Listen, you know I love you.

- But I'm super
excited for you.

Your sound great.

You look great.

You just, you know, you
gotta work on your duck walk.

Other than that, like, I--

- You thought
that duck walk was bad?

- The duck walk just
needed a little-- you need

to learn how to duck walk.

But the duck walk ain't easy.

- Well, that was my
first time ever even

knowing about a duck walk.

- Come on,
let's try the duck walk.

Let's duck walk on out.

- So you know how to duck walk?
- I don't.

- All right,
let's look in the mirror.

- I'm just gonna walk like this
because I can't even get up

from sitting down like that.

- Coming up on
"Love and Hip Hop Atlanta"...

- What's your name?
- Jessica.

- Jessica, uh--

- White.

- Nick Cannon baby mama, right?

- Oh, my God.
- What?

This ain't her?

- We had a teacher tell us we
wasn't real sisters before.

It's a battle that I fought
for my sister, so I understand.

- I was there.

- * Make my way to the top
and it ain't no stoppin' *

- * Talking if it ain't
about deposits *

* I don't wanna rock it if
Chanel ain't the stylist *

* Hair, slay, bills paid *

- * Make my way to the top
and it ain't no stoppin' *

- * Oh, oh, I need to know *

* Why not be my only *

* Only thing that I want *

* Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
oh, oh, I need to know *

- It's so pretty.

- Cute!

- It's cute here.

- I was like, you know what?

Let's close Belize out
with a cute little dinner

after my performance.

Today was good, though.

I really just enjoyed
the vibe, the moment.

- I just love how much we all
put in effort into growing

and becoming better women.

- Renni, did you feel like
you healed from this trip?

Did you let go off of anything?

- I think I got better
insight on my feelings.

- To bless you, to guide
you wherever you go.

- The Mayan temples were,
like, a really great part

of this healing journey.

Being around these
ladies and watching

them open up
and share things and we're

working on overcoming things
together has really helped me

heal more than anything or even

just learn how to heal
by watching other people

try to do it.

You hold on to things,
and it turns into a grudge

that you really don't
even realize you holding.

- I need to let certain
of the petty stuff go.

- Yeah?

- I really work hard to make
it to being on the big stage

in front of thousands
of people, and I'm here now.

But now that I'm
living in my dream,

why am I triggered
off of a little thing?

- I was moved
by your performance.

- Thank you.

- I had a good time.

And I really enjoyed being
able to cheer you on.

Like--
- That's what--

- A lot of--

- That's what--

- I-- I love that about
all of us, though.

Like, no matter what, like,
everybody support each other,

like, and cheer each other on.

- So what I learned on this
trip, you know, usually,

when I travel and stuff,
I usually travel with,

you know, Eric,
my soon to be ex-husband.

- Girl, you don't have
to tell us about Eric.

- Can she talk?

- Oh, Lord, not Eric again.

I am sick of hearing about
Eric the car salesman.

I want to see Erica to
get a new man ASAP, fast!

- He was with a group
of bitches last night.

- What do you mean?

- Yeah, Zell texted
me and was like,

he was at Blue last
night with him.

He wanted the information
to get back to me.

Like, he was like,
I'm going to hurt this bitch.

Me and Eric are single.

We're not together.

So him being out with women
shouldn't really bother me,

but I just thought that he
would do things differently.

But it's like,
thank you for continuing

to show me who you really are.

You're just a piece of [bleep].

So now I can genuinely focus on
making my relationship better

with my kids, focusing on
what I got to do in my life,

you know what I'm saying?

- Mm-hmm.

- So when we go back to
Atlanta, since we all, like,

are trying to tackle
all of these issues

and work on ourselves
and everything,

are you going to try to fix
things with you and Bambi?

- I don't like her.

- I just feel like
she don't rock

with me how I rock with her.

- You know, I feel like
you're still hurting over it

because that's your--

- If you just upset and you
still want her as your friend

and your sister, say that.

It's nothing wrong with that.

- And I will.

But honestly, right now in
this moment, in this time

right here in Belize, I don't.

I'm always emotional
when I speak

about me and Bambi's friendship
because she was my sister.

But a part of actually healing
is knowing that you need more

time to be away from
them so that you

can heal from the things
that they have done to you.

- Well, are you ready
to apologize to Banks?

- I'm not apologizing.
- Why the hell--

- You see how the mood change?

[chuckles]

- Now I know we're here
healing and everything,

and I have made
a lot of strides

in the right
direction, but I don't

know what the hell Shekanah
talking about me apologize.

I could have handled the
situation differently.

We can have a conversation
about what happened,

why it happened,
and find solutions.

- Since we're on
this, you know,

journey, what do you think that
triggered you at that table?

- When you start speaking
about my mental health

and-- and what I'm going
through and telling me I need

therapy and things like
that, I know exactly

what you're talking about.

Bitch, I do need
a lot of therapy.

- Yeah.

- That's what really
made me say we need

to go to anger management.

I will thank her for that.

- She was poking.

- Yeah.

So it was like that
really set me off.

- OK, so what about
you and Karlie?

Because y'all was besties.

- Me and who?

- You and Karlie Redd.

And I feel like y'all should
fix that whole situation.

- These bitches
are draining me.

Everybody is supposed
to be getting

healed and ready to
release this [bleep].

Spice can't make up
with Karlie Redd.

Renni can't make up
with Erica.

Sierra can't
make up with Bambi.

I can make up
with all these bitches.

I'm not holding no
grudge with nobody.

- Y'all were best friends.

- We were close.

We were friends, but we
weren't best friends.

I have a friend in the house.

Anybody see my friend Karlie?

- Thank you, Spice,
for like, being on the song

and everything you've done.

I really appreciate you
from the bottom of my heart.

I will never forget
this ever in life.

[together]
Aww.

- Ever.

I'm so happy to be going to the
Grammys just to support you,

and just I appreciate that.

- Thank you.

- This woman cry
about you every--

- That's because
she knows she--

I was a good friend to her.

- How are you healing from
what happened with Erica Mena?

- Oh, my God.

Is it my-- is it a
Spice night or what?

[chuckles] When she come
with her racism thing,

I was so used to
it, that it's like,

my system is immune to racism.

This is no shade to any of you
that's sitting at the table.

I feel like
darker-skinned Black woman

get it a little bit harsher.

They used to call me Blackie.

They used to call me tar.

They called me everything
that was close to black

that they could find.

I don't have nothing to fix
with her, mend with her.

I chopped her right off.

- What you've been through with
this situation, how it made

you feel,
the colorist comments,

everything,
how are we going to heal--

like, what are you
going to do for you?

- I can't fix racism.

I will always experience it.

So it's just something
I have to face.

- My older sister
is your complexion.

- Yep, she is.

- You know how many times
we've been in a room together,

and they will acknowledge
me like we didn't walk in

together because they feel like
we're not together because we

don't look the same?
We came out of the same woman.

Growing up,
you don't know how much

resent that could make
my siblings have for me,

or whatever the case.

Like, so I want
you to understand--

- Hang on.
Give me a minute.

Excuse me.

[tense music]

* *

- Coming up on
"Love and Hip Hop Atlanta"...

- Why are you crying?

- I just don't like
that for Black women.

It's just nothing I can fix.

I'll never heal from this.

- Who the dancers?

- That's my girls.

Oh, OK.

- * Make my way to the top
and it ain't no stoppin' *

- * Make my way to the top
and it ain't no stoppin' *

[tense music]

- My older sister
is your complexion.

- Yep, she is.

- You know how many times
we've been in a room together,

and they will acknowledge
me like we didn't walk in

together because they feel like
we're not together because we

don't look the same?
We came out of the same woman.

- Hang on.

Give me a minute.

Excuse me.

- Erica, that's a lot.
[bleep].

- I hate that racist [bleep].

- [sobs]

- Why are you crying?

- I just don't like
that for Black women.

I've experienced it all my
life and I just hate it.

And it's just
nothing I can fix.

So it was like, when we at
the table and you're asking,

like, how can I heal from it?

I'll never heal from this.

- I want to figure it out.

You're my friend.

I'm here with you.

I care about how
you feel and I care

about how we can move forward.

But you can't carry that
trauma around forever.

Like, we can't be-- we
got to figure out how to--

- It's like, you know, I carry
it for my daughter as well.

- Let's teach awareness,
but let's not teach trauma.

Let's teach confidence.

Let's redirect it.

- I know.

How do you let go off
of pain that comes

with the color of your skin?

I'm a Black girl.

I born a Black girl.

This is the color of my skin.

Love me or hate me,
this is who I am.

But there are so many
other people out there.

It's not just about me.

Do you ever have
this conversation

with your sisters?

- Yeah.

So once I was
reading her diary,

she wrote in it that she
wished she looked like me.

So when stuff like that
happen, it really just--

- She did?

Damn.

You make me sad.

- We had a teacher tell us we
wasn't real sisters before.

It's a battle that I fought
for my sister, so I understand.

- This is so sad.

Y'all like,
we a great group together.

And thank you, Renni,
for just being a sweet girl.

We love you.

- And I love you too.

I'm going to pray
for y'all tonight.

[funky music]

* *

- * Hold on,
let me talk my [bleep] *

* Let's do it,
We're gonna *

- Keep an open mind.

Leave your mind open.

Hey, how you doing?

OK, Miss Diana Ross.

How you doing?
What's up?

How you doing?
- Nice to meet you.

- Nice to meet you too.

- So I'm in the
studio with Bang.

Saucy and Zell
are coming through.

I dropped it in
Zell's ear if he would

ask Saucy to be on
the song, so we're

going to see how it goes.

This is Bang.

He produced the song "Vogue."

And we're just hoping
that you would get on it.

- Why?

Cause it's "Vogue"?

- I think you're mad creative,
you know what I'm saying?

And it's "Vogue."

I think you fit the mold.

I couldn't think
of nobody else that

could, like,
make sense for the song,

you know what I'm saying?

So--

- I'm not going in
with any expectations.

Zell knew her from,
like, a long time ago.

I'm going in as a
more meet and greet.

- I am a woman.

I will sell my [bleep].

- * Drop, drop,
drop, drop, drop *

* Drop, drop, drop,
drop, drop, drop *

- * Vogue, Vogue,
Vogue, Vogue *

* Flood out the patek
top of the hill *

* Snow out my neck
like Buffalo Bills *

- * Drop, drop, drop *

- * Snow out my neck
like Buffalo Bills *

* Vogue, Vogue,
Vogue, Vogue *

- My first impressions
of the track was,

I don't think
that Madonna would give

a [bleep] if I did that song.

- So what do you think, Sauce?

- Um, that's cute.

I got a song that sound
exactly like that.

- Really?

- Literally the same
beat and all that.

- I'm Jessica White.

I don't like to ask for help.

And I don't like
to ask for favors.

I already know the answer's
no, but I'm not easily shaken.

I have to create
the vision for myself.

- How long you been rapping?

- Well, no, I sing.

- She don't really rap.
- I don't rap.

- You know what I'm saying?
- OK.

- She sings for real.

- You just started music, huh?

- No, I've been--
- You been?

- Yeah, since like, 2010.

- Yeah, so why you
never worked with her?

You be rapping and [bleep].

I feel like that's
your comeback.

She dropping a new EP.

Like, y'all both, you know what
I'm saying, get in the field.

So you don't want her to
help you with nothing?

Bangladesh, that's wrong.

- He wanted to work
with you, though.

- Yeah, what's up with you?

- Like, you trying to
avoid-- you trying to avoid--

you trying to avoid
what we trying to do.

- I ain't trying to avoid it.

You know, this is my first time
even meeting any one of y'all.

So just coming in like, hey,
get on my song, like, whoa.

- Well, I do appreciate
you for coming

and, you know,
at least listening to it.

- Of course.
I ain't too big for that.

A lot of people are out
here winging it with music,

just trying to do something.

Honestly, we're in a world
where you can wing it.

I feel like if she follows
her gut with the music

that she really likes
and more of that.

What's your name?
- Jessica.

- Jessica?
- Mm-hmm.

- Jessica, uh--
- White.

- This is Nick Cannon
baby mama, right?

- Oh, my God.
- What?

This ain't her?

- No, she's not this
baby mama though.

- Oh, what?

What?

- I had miscarriages, so yeah.

- OK.
Like, OK.

I'm sorry.

I didn't mean for it
to come out like that.

- When people do that
to me, I instantly

go into a protective space.

Like, no, I can have babies.

I would have been
a baby mother.

Nothing that he did was wrong.

[sniffles] I think that it's
about just being conscious.

But most importantly,
it's about me healing.

- You like a little hidden gem.

So I really want you to, like,
you know what I'm saying,

stay focused on your [bleep].

- Absolutely.

- Not right now.

I don't picture
myself on this track.

Why it got to be why?

I built my accolades up.

Jessica has just started
when it comes to music.

I did not know anything about
her besides her being Nick

Cannon baby mama.
Shout-out to Nick Cannon.

He a Libra.

We got the same birthday.

But once she gets a
little more established,

that's a conversation
that we double back have.

- Bye, guys.
- Bye.

Nice to meet you, babe.
- Nice to meet you too.

- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.

- See you, gang.

Nice to meet you.

- Coming up on
"Love and Hip Hop Atlanta"...

- [gasping]

- Oh, no.

We gotta go; we gotta go.

We gotta go, Bambi.

Come on.

- I can't get up;
I can't get up.

I can't [bleep] get up.

- * Make my way to the top
and it ain't no stoppin' *

- * Make my way to the top
and it ain't no stoppin' *

- * All my girls bad
doing bad things *

* Big Birkin bags,
big cars and big rings *

* All my girls bad,
doing bad things *

* Big Birkin bags,
big cars, and big rings *

- That's my girls.

- Jesus Christ,
you think I'm gonna--

I'm not like that.

This is a comfortable
conversation

to get involved in.

You were talking about talking
about this choreography.

- Now I got to watch you.

It's the night of the showcase.

We have dancers.
We have food.

We have drinks.

Everyone's having
a good time.

Kai invited a bunch
of executives tonight.

And Amy and I literally just
did this song yesterday.

So it's a lot of pressure.

But you know what?

I've had more
pressure in my life.

[upbeat funky music]

* *

- Hi.

- Sis!

- OK, it's giving superstar.

- You look good.

- It's giving main attraction.

Hey.
- How are you doing?

I'm Kai.
Nice to meet you.

- I'm Amy.

I've been hearing
a lot about you.

So you love the record,
I'm sure.

- I love it.
Nah, I love the record.

I'm excited to see y'all do it.

- So who's invited tonight?
Who is coming?

You know I want to know.

- I know Bambi's coming,
'cause Bambi's performing.

- OK, Bambi's coming.

Yandy's supposed to be
coming, Jessica too.

- Y'all vibe out.

You know, it's execs here.

I'ma go catch up with my
boys, and then I'll see

y'all in a little bit.
Y'all do your thing.

- OK.
- Ooh!

I was like--

[laughter]

They say he brought the execs.

- Yeah.

- Karlie,
that's what I like to hear.

Are you ready for
this performance?

- OK, yeah.

Let's let's go get
ready so we can go.

- We're going to get ready?
- Mm-hmm.

- OK, OK.

[upbeat funky music]

* *

- I'm arriving at the 1501
event to support Karlie

and to support Amy.

I'm going to be
performing tonight.

I've been having a really
rough past few days.

Despite everything
that I'm going through,

I just do not want
to let my friends down.

* *

I don't feel good.

- I'm not sure
what's going on with Bambi.

Like, her eyes were rolling.

She was sweating profusely.

And I've never
seen her like this.

This is not good.

- Drink some water,
drink some water.

Why don't you drink some water?

- You don't got
to perform, baby.

You gotta-- you just gotta
get this together, man.

You gotta get this together.

You've been having
several panic attacks.

- Oh, my gosh.

- This is the third
one this week.

- [gasping]

- Oh, no.
We gotta go.

You gotta go, Bambi.
Come on.

- I can't get up.
I can't get up.

I can't [bleep] get up.

- You want to go in
the bathroom, sis?

- I don't know.

As soon as I
walked in, sit down,

instantly,
I just start feeling weird.

I mean, I've had
panic attacks before,

but they've been private.

I have never had this
experience in public.

- Come on, get up for me.
- Come on.

- Oh, [bleep].
- All right.

Damn.
You got her bag.

- What's wrong?

- Sis, I don't [bleep] know.

- It's OK, baby.
- What's going on?

- Breathe.

- My mouth is numb, y'all.

- What's going on?

- I don't know.

- * Make my way to the top
and it ain't no stoppin' *

- * Make my way to the top
and it ain't no stoppin' *

- It's OK, baby.

- What's going on?

- I don't know.

- I don't know.

- You've gotta go.

- I have been going through
the toughest of situations.

I've been bullied,
I've been lied on,

I've been talked about.

I'm going through a divorce.

I'm going through
breakups with friends.

Like, all of these
things, it's just a lot.

Somebody call my mama.

I want to go to
my mama's house.

- What happened?

- Anxiety attack, panic.

She just sitting there--

- She was just sitting there
and it just started happening.

- It was already building
up when she got--

when she pulled up.
- OK.

- I'm sorry.

- You ain't got to
say sorry to me.

Are you crazy?
It's OK.

You are a superwoman.

And you can't be
strong all the time.

- No, I feel like I've
just been [bleep] failing.

- You've got kids.

You take care of the household.

You've been doing everything
by yourself for so long,

and I've been watching you.

- I really wanted to do
this for you, though.

I truly do not feel like
a superwoman right now.

But at the end of
the day, Karlie

has been a great friend.

She's been there for me.

Karlie always shows up.

And now, at the moment that
I could show up for her,

I can't.

So it's just really upsetting.

- Everything good with Bam?

- It was like
she couldn't breathe.

- Well, apparently,
that's her fourth anxiety

attack this week.

- Karlie, does this change
the dynamic of the showcase?

Because I know she
was going to perform.

- Well, you know, you know,
sometimes it be like,

oh, the show goes on.
- The show must go on.

- I don't mean to say it like
that, but the show must go on.

- Bambi's health is more
important than anything.

But it's a showcase.

So hey, guess what.

We're going to show
up and show out.

- All right, coming to the
stage, I need y'all to start

clapping y'all hands.

Make some mother[bleep]
noise for my girl Karlie

and my girl Amy!

[upbeat funky music]

* *

- * I'm like a drug *

* Got him locked *

* Tell me he in love,
but he full of [bleep] *

- I got to give it to Karlie
for getting on the stage.

But I have to take it away from
Karlie because you got to walk

into these spaces ready.

Because sometimes you have
one opportunity to show

an audience what you got.

And if this is what
you got, this ain't it.

- * You can't hit,
don't trip *

* Use your tongue, tongue *

* I'm from Detroit,
so you know I love it deep *

* I'm a rider *

* I [bleep] his face
for a week *

- Amy is a great
performer, so she's going

to get out there and have fun.

And Karlie is free-spirited.

She's done something that I
haven't even been able to do,

get up there and move.

- Hey!

- [laughs]

[cheers and applause]

- How you feeling?

- Hey, good job, Mama.

No doubt.
Your bars is on point.

- Thank you.

I'm really excited.

I'm not shocked
that Kai loved the show.

This is what I came for,
to grow in my career.

And I'm definitely
appreciative of Miss Redd

and her man putting
me in a position

to be in front of some execs.

I'm definitely thankful.

- This was a great
night for you.

- And as a "manager," you know,
I respect your opinion.

- I want you to get up there.

I want you to keep working
on them dance moves.

- Yes.

- You about to be
touring the world,

so you got to make sure-- that
right there ain't a touring

the world performance.

So you got to get in
that studio and rehearse.

- Me and Amy didn't
even do soundcheck,

but it's all about having fun.

This was a good time.

Now we're going to go back
to the drawing board and

practice, practice, practice.

Period.

- Girl, let me show you what
I'ma be doing when I go home.

It's going to start like
this and then go out there.

- You want to go out?

You want to go out?

[screams]

- Next on Love
and Hip Hop Atlanta"...

- This is my final time
being able to see

my mother in the flesh.

I know I'll rejoin her one day.

[applause]

- The best course of
action would be to send

her a cease and desist letter.

And now that she's
threatening you,

you can get a protective order.

- Protect my children.

- Exactly.

- So y'all both dating Scrappy?

- He was [bleep] that
[bleep] real good.

- Yours?

- Yeah.

- At one time,
I respected Mazi.

He let me down.

- So you ain't got
respect for me no more?

- No, I don't.

- Do you want her
to [bleep] die?

So you want her to die?
- Look, man.

I'm telling you--
- Let her die!