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00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074
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LUANNE:
You know...
3
00:00:32,933 --> 00:00:35,401
you are so lucky
to go to prom.
4
00:00:35,468 --> 00:00:37,604
I never got
to go to mine.
5
00:00:37,671 --> 00:00:38,905
Yeah, uh‐huh. I don't know
6
00:00:38,972 --> 00:00:41,041
if I should get
a blowout or an updo.
7
00:00:42,375 --> 00:00:46,146
I missed my prom because I had
to testify against my momma.
8
00:00:46,212 --> 00:00:50,150
Everyone got the most romantic
night of their life,
9
00:00:50,216 --> 00:00:52,653
and all I got was
my momma sent to jail.
10
00:00:52,719 --> 00:00:54,655
I think I'll get an updo.
11
00:00:54,721 --> 00:00:56,456
The bailiff that had
12
00:00:56,523 --> 00:01:00,026
to wrestle my
mamma had an updo.
13
00:01:00,093 --> 00:01:02,428
(voice cracking):
You're gonna look so pretty.
14
00:01:02,495 --> 00:01:04,497
(crying)
15
00:01:09,503 --> 00:01:11,004
I put some syrup
in your soda
16
00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:12,973
because I know you
like stuff sweet.
17
00:01:13,039 --> 00:01:14,240
How many spoons?
18
00:01:14,307 --> 00:01:17,143
I don't know.
I just poured.
19
00:01:18,979 --> 00:01:21,548
Bobby, you poured good.
20
00:01:21,615 --> 00:01:23,416
Why don't you treat
yourself to one?
21
00:01:23,483 --> 00:01:26,452
You sure know
how to live, Lucky.
22
00:01:27,253 --> 00:01:29,523
I had such a
stressful day.
23
00:01:29,590 --> 00:01:32,526
I can't wait till prom
season is over on Saturday.
24
00:01:32,593 --> 00:01:35,395
Then you and me
and teenie Lucky
25
00:01:35,461 --> 00:01:37,798
can go out on a
romantic date.
26
00:01:37,864 --> 00:01:39,265
You know I would love to,
27
00:01:39,332 --> 00:01:41,835
but right now I'm rigging
my truck for stumping.
28
00:01:41,902 --> 00:01:43,303
What's "stumping"?
29
00:01:43,369 --> 00:01:45,806
It's when you go hunting
for a stump of burled walnut‐‐
30
00:01:45,872 --> 00:01:48,408
the most valuable
of all the trophy woods‐‐
31
00:01:48,474 --> 00:01:50,043
and pull it out of the ground.
32
00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:51,277
I'll come with you.
33
00:01:51,344 --> 00:01:53,246
I could brew
some sun tea
34
00:01:53,313 --> 00:01:55,148
and bring a
picnic basket.
35
00:01:55,215 --> 00:01:57,250
The ants will get
into our food
36
00:01:57,317 --> 00:01:59,219
and then we'll
laugh and laugh.
37
00:01:59,285 --> 00:02:02,188
I'm sorry, but stumping
is a gentleman's pursuit.
38
00:02:02,255 --> 00:02:05,626
So is sticking and catfisting
and everything you do.
39
00:02:05,692 --> 00:02:09,262
Luanne, my life would be easier
without this passion,
40
00:02:09,329 --> 00:02:12,365
but it wouldn't be as full.
41
00:02:18,271 --> 00:02:20,674
Uh, Peggy, my steak
42
00:02:20,741 --> 00:02:21,975
seems kind of small.
43
00:02:22,042 --> 00:02:24,678
You're not pulling the new
guidelines on me, are you?
44
00:02:24,745 --> 00:02:25,646
No, I am not.
45
00:02:25,712 --> 00:02:27,748
I just didn't
realize that Luanne
46
00:02:27,814 --> 00:02:28,982
would be with us tonight,
47
00:02:29,049 --> 00:02:31,151
so I had to re‐portion.
48
00:02:31,217 --> 00:02:33,453
I thought I was going
out with Lucky,
49
00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:37,090
but he doesn't have the time
to spend with me.
50
00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:39,292
(sighing)
51
00:02:39,359 --> 00:02:42,896
Huh. So I guess you had
nowhere else to go?
52
00:02:42,963 --> 00:02:45,098
Hank.
(crying)
53
00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:47,534
What's she want?
A piece off my plate?
54
00:02:47,601 --> 00:02:49,603
There's not a whole lot there.
55
00:02:54,608 --> 00:02:56,476
Yep.
Yep.
56
00:02:56,543 --> 00:02:57,911
Mm‐hmm.
57
00:02:57,978 --> 00:02:59,813
I've had it since
I was 12,
58
00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:03,183
a constant, high‐pitched
ringing in my left ear.
59
00:03:03,249 --> 00:03:04,384
I guess it's
something I'll just
60
00:03:04,450 --> 00:03:06,520
have to learn
to live with.
61
00:03:09,923 --> 00:03:11,525
Luanne's not
home, Lucky.
62
00:03:11,592 --> 00:03:13,159
We're not here
to see Luanne.
63
00:03:13,226 --> 00:03:15,261
We came to visit
you, Uncle Hank.
64
00:03:15,328 --> 00:03:18,031
See, I'm looking to get
more power into my winch.
65
00:03:18,098 --> 00:03:19,666
Hmm, continue.
66
00:03:19,733 --> 00:03:22,736
You see, winches ain't
something the three of us know.
67
00:03:22,803 --> 00:03:24,571
What I know abouts dogs.
68
00:03:24,638 --> 00:03:26,272
You need something
done about a dog,
69
00:03:26,339 --> 00:03:27,674
I'm the one you see.
70
00:03:27,741 --> 00:03:30,443
Lucky, your man's
making me nervous.
71
00:03:30,511 --> 00:03:32,278
Mud Dauber didn't
mean to scare you.
72
00:03:32,345 --> 00:03:34,748
Did you, Mud Dauber?
Not at present.
73
00:03:34,815 --> 00:03:35,716
He's just upset
74
00:03:35,782 --> 00:03:37,417
'cause he and Elvin
can't help me
75
00:03:37,483 --> 00:03:40,554
bring in a 48 inch
stump of burled walnut.
76
00:03:40,621 --> 00:03:42,355
It's not we
don't want to.
77
00:03:42,422 --> 00:03:43,524
It's all 'cause judge says
78
00:03:43,590 --> 00:03:45,458
we can't cross
the county line.
79
00:03:45,526 --> 00:03:47,961
Boy, I've never
heard of a 48 inch
80
00:03:48,028 --> 00:03:49,896
stump of burled walnut.
81
00:03:49,963 --> 00:03:51,364
You're talking diameter, right?
82
00:03:51,431 --> 00:03:53,366
He don't talk nothing else.
83
00:03:53,433 --> 00:03:54,635
It's real, all right.
84
00:03:54,701 --> 00:03:58,304
My grandpappy first
found it back in 1923.
85
00:03:59,840 --> 00:04:02,643
Grandpappy wason a church picnic,
86
00:04:02,709 --> 00:04:05,579
and got separatedfrom his group.
87
00:04:05,646 --> 00:04:08,982
A storm came up over the hills
and Grandpappy
88
00:04:09,049 --> 00:04:13,319
had to take shelter in what
turned out to be the most
89
00:04:13,386 --> 00:04:16,790
valuable stump in all of Texas.
90
00:04:17,658 --> 00:04:19,025
As fate would have it,
91
00:04:19,092 --> 00:04:21,762
Grandpappy took ill
and was called to his maker
92
00:04:21,828 --> 00:04:24,330
before he had a chanceto bring it in.
93
00:04:24,397 --> 00:04:28,234
I hunted that piece of walnut
for many a year.
94
00:04:28,301 --> 00:04:31,371
And then one day,I finally found it.
95
00:04:31,437 --> 00:04:34,107
Set my winch to itand everything.
96
00:04:34,174 --> 00:04:36,510
But the cable snapped.
97
00:04:36,577 --> 00:04:38,411
I went to the Costcoto buy a new one,
98
00:04:38,478 --> 00:04:41,247
slipped on pee pee,
got my settlement moneys
99
00:04:41,314 --> 00:04:43,016
and the rest is history.
100
00:04:43,083 --> 00:04:46,119
That stump was worth $15,000,
101
00:04:46,186 --> 00:04:47,954
and that's in back then dollars.
102
00:04:48,021 --> 00:04:50,991
And due to Elvin and Mud
Dauber's... indiscretions,
103
00:04:51,057 --> 00:04:53,827
I am down
fellow adventurers.
104
00:04:53,894 --> 00:04:56,697
I've always wanted to
see walnut in the wild.
105
00:04:56,763 --> 00:04:59,265
And Boomhauer's
always wanted
106
00:04:59,332 --> 00:05:00,801
a walnut dashboard.
107
00:05:00,867 --> 00:05:04,037
Yeah, and my rifle could
use a burled walnut stock.
108
00:05:04,104 --> 00:05:06,673
And I need a walnut... hat!
109
00:05:06,740 --> 00:05:10,076
And I... Oh, I
just want to come.
110
00:05:13,079 --> 00:05:14,548
You know, in the old days,
111
00:05:14,615 --> 00:05:16,883
that stuff would be
crawling with nits.
112
00:05:20,053 --> 00:05:23,289
Don't worry, little boy.
I'm going to give
113
00:05:23,356 --> 00:05:25,826
you the best cut ever!
114
00:05:25,892 --> 00:05:28,562
Because prom pictures
are forever.
115
00:05:28,629 --> 00:05:31,031
As are not prom pictures,
116
00:05:31,097 --> 00:05:33,667
which are all I have.
117
00:05:33,734 --> 00:05:36,002
I'm not going
to the prom. I can't.
118
00:05:36,069 --> 00:05:37,437
Of course you can.
119
00:05:37,504 --> 00:05:39,706
Everyone goes to the prom now,
120
00:05:39,773 --> 00:05:41,908
even the crippled
and the gay.
121
00:05:41,975 --> 00:05:43,143
I don't have a date.
122
00:05:43,209 --> 00:05:44,444
Really?
123
00:05:44,511 --> 00:05:46,513
I'd go with you
in a heartbeat.
124
00:05:47,948 --> 00:05:49,850
(quivering breaths)
125
00:05:49,916 --> 00:05:53,286
Well... would you like to go
with me to the prom?
126
00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:55,522
Me? Oh.
127
00:05:55,589 --> 00:05:57,290
You are such
a sweet boy.
128
00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:58,592
I would love to, but...
129
00:05:58,659 --> 00:06:00,994
I already
have a fiancé.
130
00:06:01,061 --> 00:06:03,930
Oh.
Hey, I've got nothing
going on that night
131
00:06:03,997 --> 00:06:05,732
if you wanna grab a taco.
132
00:06:06,867 --> 00:06:09,002
I'm not saying
stumping isn't risky.
133
00:06:09,069 --> 00:06:11,071
When you're out there
with nothing but chains,
134
00:06:11,137 --> 00:06:13,674
beer and a winch,
you could rip your arm off
135
00:06:13,740 --> 00:06:16,109
and there ain't
no one out there to sue.
136
00:06:16,176 --> 00:06:18,945
(vehicle approaching)
137
00:06:19,012 --> 00:06:20,346
Hey, Baby Girl,
138
00:06:20,413 --> 00:06:22,148
and my girl's baby.
139
00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:23,349
Look at my new winch.
140
00:06:23,416 --> 00:06:25,418
That's nice.
141
00:06:25,485 --> 00:06:26,753
Hey Lucky,
142
00:06:26,820 --> 00:06:29,322
the inspectors are
letting That's Amore
143
00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:30,791
open back up tomorrow night.
144
00:06:30,857 --> 00:06:34,227
Well, bring me home
some osso bucco then,
145
00:06:34,294 --> 00:06:36,496
'cause me and the boys
are going out.
146
00:06:37,898 --> 00:06:40,433
Fine, then I, too,
will be going out
147
00:06:40,501 --> 00:06:42,002
with a boy as well.
148
00:06:42,803 --> 00:06:45,005
To the Arlen High School Prom.
149
00:06:45,071 --> 00:06:46,773
I have been asked.
150
00:06:51,144 --> 00:06:52,345
No way, Luanne.
151
00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:53,714
You will not wear
152
00:06:53,780 --> 00:06:55,749
another man's
wrist corsage.
153
00:06:55,816 --> 00:06:58,619
If you are not going
to take me out
on a Saturday night,
154
00:06:58,685 --> 00:07:00,754
or ever, why shouldn't I go?
155
00:07:00,821 --> 00:07:02,488
Because I've seen the movies
156
00:07:02,556 --> 00:07:04,625
and I know what
goes on at prom.
157
00:07:04,691 --> 00:07:06,126
You're sitting
this one out.
158
00:07:06,192 --> 00:07:07,528
Nu‐uh, I'm not!
159
00:07:07,594 --> 00:07:10,430
Prom night is the most
romantic night of the year,
160
00:07:10,496 --> 00:07:13,399
and I am not spending
it alone again.
161
00:07:13,466 --> 00:07:16,402
Luanne, I'm not
messing around here.
162
00:07:16,469 --> 00:07:18,338
If you go to that prom...
163
00:07:18,404 --> 00:07:19,573
Well, that does it!
164
00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:22,242
Well, if you go
stumping, then...
165
00:07:22,308 --> 00:07:24,244
then that does it!
166
00:07:24,310 --> 00:07:25,378
Oh, no!
167
00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:26,947
Don't do this,
you guys!
168
00:07:27,013 --> 00:07:31,785
Lay down your pride and give way
to the glory of love!
169
00:07:34,755 --> 00:07:37,524
I'm going stumpin'.
170
00:07:45,331 --> 00:07:47,868
Well, I guess
that does it.
171
00:07:53,574 --> 00:07:55,108
PEGGY:
I cannot believe
172
00:07:55,175 --> 00:07:58,244
someone in this family is
finally going to their prom.
173
00:07:58,311 --> 00:08:01,147
I could have gone with
an ugly or unpopular guy,
174
00:08:01,214 --> 00:08:02,883
but I stuck by my principles.
175
00:08:02,949 --> 00:08:04,885
Sometimes I wish
my leg was a stump
176
00:08:04,951 --> 00:08:07,353
so Lucky would
pay attention to me.
177
00:08:07,420 --> 00:08:09,690
Is that wrong?
Yes.
178
00:08:09,756 --> 00:08:11,357
You should not
be fantasizing
179
00:08:11,424 --> 00:08:13,026
about being a hunk of wood.
180
00:08:13,093 --> 00:08:14,260
You should be thinking
181
00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:15,762
about this magical
night ahead.
182
00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:17,798
The gymnasium will
be transformed
183
00:08:17,864 --> 00:08:19,265
with glitter
and crepe paper.
184
00:08:19,332 --> 00:08:22,035
There might even be balloons
in the basketball hoops.
185
00:08:22,102 --> 00:08:24,337
I never dreamed
that going to a dance
186
00:08:24,404 --> 00:08:25,672
with a 15‐year‐old boy
187
00:08:25,739 --> 00:08:28,074
I barely know
could be so wonderful!
188
00:08:28,141 --> 00:08:29,342
Oh!
189
00:08:29,409 --> 00:08:31,044
Oh, Luanne,
tomorrow night,
190
00:08:31,111 --> 00:08:33,479
I will be living
vicariously through you.
191
00:08:33,547 --> 00:08:34,881
Thank you!
192
00:08:34,948 --> 00:08:38,018
Okay, when you dance,
I want you to do it in a way
193
00:08:38,084 --> 00:08:40,987
that will make people form
a circle around you and clap.
194
00:08:42,956 --> 00:08:46,226
So, what'll it be‐‐
the Linda Evans
195
00:08:46,292 --> 00:08:48,829
or the Joan
Collins?
196
00:08:53,133 --> 00:08:54,334
Come on, Bobby!
197
00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:55,536
Keep brushing!
198
00:08:55,602 --> 00:08:57,170
You've got to flatten
this thing out!
199
00:08:57,237 --> 00:08:59,472
I'm trying, but it
keeps on jumping back!
200
00:08:59,540 --> 00:09:00,641
(scoffs)
201
00:09:00,707 --> 00:09:02,008
(doorbell rings)
202
00:09:02,075 --> 00:09:03,109
PEGGY:
Who is it?
203
00:09:03,176 --> 00:09:05,245
KEVIN:
I'm kind of having
a tux emergency.
204
00:09:05,311 --> 00:09:06,513
(gasps):
It's Kevin!
205
00:09:06,580 --> 00:09:07,748
You can't be here!
206
00:09:07,814 --> 00:09:09,983
It's bad luck to see
me before the prom!
207
00:09:10,050 --> 00:09:12,252
I think that's
on your wedding day, Luanne.
208
00:09:12,318 --> 00:09:13,419
Oh.
209
00:09:13,486 --> 00:09:15,556
This was all
the tux shop had left.
210
00:09:15,622 --> 00:09:17,524
I thought
I'd look like James Bond.
211
00:09:17,591 --> 00:09:19,392
I'm not gonna look
like James Bond.
212
00:09:19,459 --> 00:09:21,161
Oh, Kevin,
don't worry.
213
00:09:21,227 --> 00:09:23,630
What you wear is so
much less important
214
00:09:23,697 --> 00:09:25,599
than what I'm wearing.
215
00:09:27,634 --> 00:09:29,302
What's wrong?
216
00:09:29,369 --> 00:09:30,637
Them.
217
00:09:30,704 --> 00:09:33,674
LUANNE:
That's just Elvin
and Mud Dauber.
218
00:09:33,740 --> 00:09:35,141
Go away! Git!
219
00:09:35,208 --> 00:09:36,442
I'm busy!
220
00:09:36,510 --> 00:09:38,945
Who the hell is he?
221
00:09:39,012 --> 00:09:41,982
This is my
friend, Kevin.
222
00:09:42,048 --> 00:09:44,450
Kevin is taking me to the prom.
223
00:09:44,518 --> 00:09:46,553
So you're out going
to some damn prom
224
00:09:46,620 --> 00:09:48,121
behind Lucky's back?
225
00:09:48,188 --> 00:09:49,690
Who's Lucky?
Shut up.
226
00:09:49,756 --> 00:09:51,091
Aunt Peggy!
227
00:09:51,157 --> 00:09:53,960
Elvin and Mud Dauber
are making trouble!
228
00:09:55,195 --> 00:09:56,496
Not in my house.
229
00:09:56,563 --> 00:09:58,832
Not unless
you want some of this.
230
00:10:01,467 --> 00:10:02,836
Relax.
231
00:10:02,903 --> 00:10:06,072
It's just oven cleaner,
but they don't know that.
232
00:10:10,811 --> 00:10:13,113
We've been off road
for a while now, Lucky.
233
00:10:13,179 --> 00:10:14,314
Do you have a map?
234
00:10:14,380 --> 00:10:16,349
Uh‐huh.
235
00:10:16,416 --> 00:10:18,118
Must be an implant.
236
00:10:18,184 --> 00:10:19,385
I wonder who did his.
237
00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:22,122
The guy who did mine
did not inspire confidence.
238
00:10:22,188 --> 00:10:23,824
(cell phone ringing)
239
00:10:23,890 --> 00:10:25,926
Lucky here. What?
240
00:10:25,992 --> 00:10:27,293
Ow!
241
00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:29,996
You sure about that?
242
00:10:30,063 --> 00:10:32,999
Well, Luanne's
made her decision.
243
00:10:33,066 --> 00:10:35,502
She's going to the
prom with that kid.
244
00:10:35,569 --> 00:10:37,237
Uh...
245
00:10:37,303 --> 00:10:38,739
when you're stumpin',
246
00:10:38,805 --> 00:10:41,107
you don't talk
about relationships, right?
247
00:10:41,174 --> 00:10:42,609
Nope.
248
00:10:42,676 --> 00:10:44,645
Well, all right.
249
00:10:44,711 --> 00:10:46,647
What did Lucky say?
250
00:10:46,713 --> 00:10:48,348
Oh, he's hurtin'.
251
00:10:48,414 --> 00:10:50,216
I can tell it
in his voice.
252
00:10:50,283 --> 00:10:52,385
We got to make this right.
253
00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:04,565
(Elvin imitates high‐pitched
squeal of tire deflating)
254
00:11:04,631 --> 00:11:06,567
I wonder what
sound you'll make.
255
00:11:06,633 --> 00:11:09,903
(sighs):
I'm 15 years old,
and I'm a high school senior.
256
00:11:09,970 --> 00:11:11,638
I've lived through everything.
257
00:11:11,705 --> 00:11:13,073
I've been teased,
I've been pantsed,
258
00:11:13,139 --> 00:11:15,175
I've had my head
shoved in the toilet.
259
00:11:15,241 --> 00:11:18,044
What can you do to me
that hasn't been done?
260
00:11:18,111 --> 00:11:20,180
Kill you.
261
00:11:22,716 --> 00:11:26,486
Luanne, you look
almost lovely.
262
00:11:26,553 --> 00:11:27,921
Almost?
263
00:11:27,988 --> 00:11:31,257
That's why I want
you to have this.
264
00:11:31,324 --> 00:11:33,293
(gasps):
A tiara!
265
00:11:33,359 --> 00:11:35,762
It's so beautiful.
266
00:11:35,829 --> 00:11:37,230
Just take good
care of it.
267
00:11:37,297 --> 00:11:41,201
It has been in the family
since Halloween of 1973.
268
00:11:43,837 --> 00:11:45,171
(Hank sighs)
269
00:11:45,238 --> 00:11:46,540
Five men,
270
00:11:46,607 --> 00:11:47,941
one stump.
271
00:11:48,008 --> 00:11:50,210
This is the sort of thing
they write books about.
272
00:11:50,276 --> 00:11:52,913
You know what would make
for an even better book?
273
00:11:52,979 --> 00:11:55,849
If one of us turned
into a werewolf right now.
274
00:11:55,916 --> 00:11:58,552
(exaggerated grunting)
275
00:11:58,619 --> 00:12:00,587
Uh, can't do it.
276
00:12:00,654 --> 00:12:01,755
(thudding)
277
00:12:01,822 --> 00:12:03,256
You okay?
278
00:12:03,323 --> 00:12:04,591
We're getting close.
279
00:12:04,658 --> 00:12:07,427
That was the exact same
gopher hole
280
00:12:07,493 --> 00:12:09,195
I tripped in years ago.
281
00:12:10,330 --> 00:12:13,299
And that's the same branch
I hit my head on.
282
00:12:13,366 --> 00:12:17,571
I stumbled forward on my hands
and knees for 15...
283
00:12:17,638 --> 00:12:19,506
No, 16 paces until...
284
00:12:19,573 --> 00:12:20,674
Oh!
285
00:12:20,741 --> 00:12:21,708
(gasps)
286
00:12:21,775 --> 00:12:23,443
There it is!
287
00:12:25,011 --> 00:12:26,980
(cackling hysterically)
288
00:12:27,047 --> 00:12:29,249
(Bill and Dale laughing)
289
00:12:30,651 --> 00:12:32,052
Oh, my God.
290
00:12:32,118 --> 00:12:35,121
That's six burls
per square inch.
291
00:12:35,188 --> 00:12:39,125
I've found you,
you burled son of a bitch!
292
00:12:43,797 --> 00:12:44,965
(doorbell rings)
293
00:12:45,031 --> 00:12:46,432
It's my prom date!
294
00:12:46,499 --> 00:12:47,968
Coming!
295
00:12:50,771 --> 00:12:52,739
This is such
a magical night!
296
00:12:52,806 --> 00:12:54,875
I feel just
like Cinderella!
297
00:12:54,941 --> 00:12:58,745
Little boy, did you used
to be a mouse?
298
00:12:58,812 --> 00:13:00,113
I'm Kevin's brother.
299
00:13:00,180 --> 00:13:02,516
He asked me to
bring you this.
300
00:13:03,550 --> 00:13:05,285
Oh, my God!
301
00:13:05,351 --> 00:13:07,621
Kevin isn't taking me
to the prom.
302
00:13:07,688 --> 00:13:08,822
(gasps)
303
00:13:08,889 --> 00:13:11,892
I used to have a fiancé
who loved me!
304
00:13:11,958 --> 00:13:13,760
Then he left me, and I thought,
305
00:13:13,827 --> 00:13:16,763
"Oh, well, I get
to go to the prom.
306
00:13:16,830 --> 00:13:19,633
At least I'll get
to be happy one night!"
307
00:13:19,700 --> 00:13:20,901
But now,
308
00:13:20,967 --> 00:13:24,170
I'll never be happy ever again!
309
00:13:24,237 --> 00:13:27,974
Why is this happening,
Kevin's little brother?
310
00:13:28,809 --> 00:13:31,077
Do you have any candy?
311
00:13:31,144 --> 00:13:32,478
(crying)
312
00:13:32,546 --> 00:13:35,215
I have no candy, either!
313
00:13:35,281 --> 00:13:37,383
(sobbing)
314
00:13:42,856 --> 00:13:44,658
(sobbing)
315
00:13:44,725 --> 00:13:46,326
(quietly):
Go ahead, Bobby, ask her.
316
00:13:46,392 --> 00:13:48,595
(quietly):
Don't make me, please!
317
00:13:50,230 --> 00:13:52,533
(sobbing)
318
00:13:52,599 --> 00:13:54,234
Ugh!
319
00:13:54,300 --> 00:13:57,370
Luanne, I know it's
not for a few years,
320
00:13:57,437 --> 00:14:01,441
but will you go
to my prom with me?
321
00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:03,510
(frightened gasp)
322
00:14:03,577 --> 00:14:08,281
Oh, honey, crying will
not make this go away.
323
00:14:08,348 --> 00:14:09,716
I will.
324
00:14:09,783 --> 00:14:12,553
There's nothing to do,
Aunt Peggy.
325
00:14:12,619 --> 00:14:13,954
Lucky's gone.
326
00:14:14,020 --> 00:14:15,789
And Kevin's gone.
327
00:14:15,856 --> 00:14:17,958
Maybe I'll just
crash the prom and...
328
00:14:18,024 --> 00:14:19,926
everyone will suffer.
329
00:14:19,993 --> 00:14:24,030
Well, I cannot make Lucky
a better man.
330
00:14:24,097 --> 00:14:25,666
but I think I can help.
331
00:14:25,732 --> 00:14:27,634
Come on,
get your tiara.
332
00:14:30,003 --> 00:14:32,072
PEGGY:
Kevin!
333
00:14:32,138 --> 00:14:34,374
You are taking
Luanne to the prom.
334
00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:38,111
You have to take me, Kevin!
I traded my fiancé for this!
335
00:14:38,178 --> 00:14:39,980
But those men said
they'll kill me.
336
00:14:40,046 --> 00:14:42,115
They'll have to get
past me first.
337
00:14:42,182 --> 00:14:45,185
Well, you are pretty scary.
338
00:14:45,251 --> 00:14:46,486
Yes, I am.
339
00:14:46,553 --> 00:14:49,956
Now are you gonna to clip
on this bow tie, or am I?
340
00:14:53,426 --> 00:14:56,763
Okay, guys, looks like we're
a little short on cable.
341
00:14:56,830 --> 00:14:58,965
So all we need is to get
a few crowbars
342
00:14:59,032 --> 00:15:00,100
underneath the stump
343
00:15:00,166 --> 00:15:01,467
and leverage up
about six inches.
344
00:15:01,535 --> 00:15:04,237
Then Lucky and I will pull
the winch cable taut,
345
00:15:04,304 --> 00:15:05,739
lock it on
346
00:15:05,806 --> 00:15:07,107
and pull it out.
347
00:15:07,173 --> 00:15:09,209
All right, I'm
ready, let's go.
Let's go, man.
348
00:15:09,275 --> 00:15:10,176
Yay!
349
00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:12,145
Okay, Lucky, let's do it.
350
00:15:12,212 --> 00:15:16,249
One, two, three... now!
351
00:15:19,052 --> 00:15:20,887
Just another inch or two!
352
00:15:20,954 --> 00:15:23,123
(grunting and groaning)
353
00:15:23,189 --> 00:15:25,726
Lucky, put your weight into it!
354
00:15:25,792 --> 00:15:27,493
Oh, man, come on, man.
355
00:15:27,561 --> 00:15:28,629
Lucky!
356
00:15:28,695 --> 00:15:30,063
Have you seen this picture
357
00:15:30,130 --> 00:15:32,165
of Luanne eating pancakes?
358
00:15:41,708 --> 00:15:43,644
What sounds good to eat?
359
00:15:43,710 --> 00:15:44,811
I'm not
really hungry.
360
00:15:44,878 --> 00:15:46,412
No, no, no,
this is going to be
361
00:15:46,479 --> 00:15:48,314
the best night
of my life, damn it!
362
00:15:48,381 --> 00:15:51,051
You will have chicken
and I will have steak!
363
00:15:51,117 --> 00:15:53,186
Just like I always imagined!
364
00:15:54,387 --> 00:15:56,289
(gasps)
365
00:15:56,356 --> 00:15:59,225
Kevin, you've got nothing
to worry about.
366
00:15:59,292 --> 00:16:02,529
Elvin and Mud Dauber are not
going to do anything to you.
367
00:16:02,596 --> 00:16:05,532
Not when they're already on
probation for violent crime.
368
00:16:05,599 --> 00:16:06,833
What did they do?
369
00:16:06,900 --> 00:16:08,602
I don't know.
Something with a nail gun.
370
00:16:09,870 --> 00:16:13,406
Oh, there's an old lady
selling roses.
371
00:16:13,473 --> 00:16:15,576
We will take one!
372
00:16:15,642 --> 00:16:17,978
Oh, face it,
373
00:16:18,044 --> 00:16:20,446
she was meant
for better men than us.
374
00:16:20,514 --> 00:16:22,248
We were so close.
375
00:16:22,315 --> 00:16:24,751
I've never felt
closer to anyone.
376
00:16:24,818 --> 00:16:26,352
Talkin' bout ol'
giving up, man.
377
00:16:26,419 --> 00:16:29,055
Come on, man, you ain't got no
pain, there ain't no gain, man.
378
00:16:29,122 --> 00:16:30,624
Boomhauer is right.
379
00:16:30,691 --> 00:16:32,192
It took this long to find it,
380
00:16:32,258 --> 00:16:34,494
we're not letting it go.
Yay!
381
00:16:34,561 --> 00:16:37,363
So, Uncle Hank, you think
I should apologize to Luanne
382
00:16:37,430 --> 00:16:39,833
and tell her that I love her
with all my heart
383
00:16:39,900 --> 00:16:41,702
and if I can't do
something with her,
384
00:16:41,768 --> 00:16:42,969
it's not worth doing at all?
385
00:16:43,036 --> 00:16:44,404
(sighs)
386
00:16:44,470 --> 00:16:46,640
Don't take this
the wrong way, Lucky,
387
00:16:46,707 --> 00:16:49,943
but I sincerely
don't care what you do.
388
00:16:50,010 --> 00:16:52,679
I got ya.
389
00:16:52,746 --> 00:16:53,980
Okay, let's do it!
390
00:16:54,047 --> 00:16:55,381
(engine starting)
391
00:17:01,421 --> 00:17:04,257
Huh.
392
00:17:13,199 --> 00:17:18,138
Everything looks
so beautiful.
393
00:17:18,204 --> 00:17:20,340
Would you start
having a good time?
394
00:17:20,406 --> 00:17:24,010
This night is going to make up
for how crappy my life is.
395
00:17:24,077 --> 00:17:25,145
Let's dance.
396
00:17:25,211 --> 00:17:26,279
I don't know.
397
00:17:26,346 --> 00:17:28,048
Come on, it's easy.
398
00:17:28,114 --> 00:17:29,983
I put my head here
399
00:17:30,050 --> 00:17:32,318
and you put your
hand right here,
400
00:17:32,385 --> 00:17:35,656
and maybe if you're lucky
you'll feel the baby kick.
401
00:17:50,671 --> 00:17:52,105
Okay, go ahead.
402
00:17:52,172 --> 00:17:53,707
Not so fast.
403
00:17:55,576 --> 00:17:57,310
Okay, next.
404
00:18:00,113 --> 00:18:01,715
Elvin?
What?
405
00:18:01,782 --> 00:18:05,218
Have you ever been bit
by a brown recluse spider?
406
00:18:05,285 --> 00:18:07,487
If I had, I'd be dead,
407
00:18:07,554 --> 00:18:10,490
and you wouldn't be asking me
about it now, would you?
408
00:18:10,557 --> 00:18:12,893
Shh. I see 'em.
409
00:18:12,959 --> 00:18:14,661
Touch dancing.
410
00:18:16,730 --> 00:18:19,165
(wood creaking)
411
00:18:19,232 --> 00:18:20,534
Did you hear something?
412
00:18:20,601 --> 00:18:21,935
Kevin, we're fine.
413
00:18:22,002 --> 00:18:23,604
It's completely safe.
414
00:18:25,739 --> 00:18:26,673
(gasps)
415
00:18:26,740 --> 00:18:28,575
Aunt Peggy, help!
416
00:18:29,510 --> 00:18:30,511
Coming!
417
00:18:48,662 --> 00:18:51,397
Kevin, you are going
to have to fight.
418
00:18:51,464 --> 00:18:52,232
I can't.
419
00:18:52,298 --> 00:18:54,034
I know you think you can't.
420
00:18:54,100 --> 00:18:55,468
But when pushed too far,
421
00:18:55,536 --> 00:18:58,471
you nerds always have
amazing strength.
422
00:18:58,539 --> 00:19:01,608
You can punch the bully out
with one punch.
423
00:19:06,813 --> 00:19:08,414
I can't get a grip.
424
00:19:08,481 --> 00:19:10,083
He's wriggling like a frog.
425
00:19:10,150 --> 00:19:12,185
Then whomp him like one.
426
00:19:14,087 --> 00:19:18,124
Kevin, summon your
amazing strength.
427
00:19:18,191 --> 00:19:19,926
(loud honking)
428
00:19:22,696 --> 00:19:23,396
(gasps)
429
00:19:23,463 --> 00:19:25,131
There a problem here, boys?
430
00:19:25,198 --> 00:19:27,601
Nothing can't
be fixed.
431
00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:36,276
Let the boy go, Elvin.
432
00:19:46,252 --> 00:19:48,288
Did you get your stump?
433
00:19:48,354 --> 00:19:51,892
I did a lot of thinking out
in those woods, Luanne.
434
00:19:51,958 --> 00:19:53,860
And I came to realize...
435
00:19:53,927 --> 00:19:55,529
that you are my stump.
436
00:19:57,030 --> 00:19:58,899
Oh, Lucky.
437
00:19:58,965 --> 00:20:00,300
I missed you.
438
00:20:02,969 --> 00:20:04,404
I'm gonna go now.
439
00:20:06,072 --> 00:20:08,008
Not so fast, boy.
440
00:20:08,074 --> 00:20:09,510
My girl wants to have a prom,
441
00:20:09,576 --> 00:20:11,444
and I'm not dressed
for one myself,
442
00:20:11,512 --> 00:20:14,014
so go ahead and be her date.
443
00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:16,249
But the last dance is mine.
444
00:20:17,350 --> 00:20:19,452
And tell the D.J.
the last song
445
00:20:19,520 --> 00:20:24,424
is gonna be "25
Or 6 To 4" by the great Chicago.
446
00:20:24,490 --> 00:20:26,492
Oh!
447
00:20:29,229 --> 00:20:30,831
(trembling breaths)
448
00:20:30,897 --> 00:20:32,498
DALE:
I'm so cold.
449
00:20:32,566 --> 00:20:34,434
We're all cold, Dale.
450
00:20:34,500 --> 00:20:36,603
If we huddle together,
451
00:20:36,670 --> 00:20:40,373
we'll retain our heat
and we won't get hypothermia.
452
00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:41,975
Not a chance.
453
00:20:42,042 --> 00:20:43,209
Come on, Hank.
454
00:20:43,276 --> 00:20:44,645
No one will ever know.
455
00:20:44,711 --> 00:20:46,780
I will.
And that's enough.
456
00:20:46,847 --> 00:20:54,254
(Chicago's "25 Or 6 To 4"
playing)
456
00:20:55,305 --> 00:21:55,173
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