Original subtitles

um um

Oh, that's it.

than to go to college anyway.

Well, for one thing, the guys like you can be bigger than their dicks, and,

well, you're a special change.

Fuck you.

That's the idea.

That's real good.

Uh -huh.

Yeah.

Oh, that was...

Oh, yeah.

Oh,

yeah.

Oh,

yeah.

Oh, it's flaming into me.

Oh, yes.

Relax, I'm not going to bite you.

Just how long have you been having sex like that?

What kind is that?

Oh, please, cut the crap.

I sat outside the door for ten minutes and watched you.

You've been doing things in here that would make a pro blush.

Now just tell me how long.

I guess about a year or so.

Are you real mad at me?

No, well, not really.

I do wish you would have waited a while long.

I can't really punish you for acting like me.

What? Acting like me.

What? Me.

Well, what was your most negative incident?

Oh, there's so many.

Mom!

Okay, um,

okay, there was this one time, you know Betty and Priscilla?

Uh -huh. Their mother?

Yeah. When the three of us went off to college, this all happened that weekend.

Damn it!

What are we going to do?

Well, we could probably call the auto club from that house up there.

That looks like the kind of place that Norman Bates would keep his mom.

Oh, come on.

Pretty bad, that.

Hey, hello?

Our car's stalled out here and we need to call the auto club. Can you let us

Cratched the gate to get to you.

Well, weren't you?

Look, asshole, just let us call the auto club and we're out of here, okay?

Yeah, tell you what.

Being the nice guy that I am, I'll let you stay out until they fix it.

Fuck you.

Hi, auto club?

Yeah, my car's stalled. I need to get it towed or fixed or something.

Yeah, 357 Babbling Brook Road. And hurry, please.

Yeah. Yeah. Bye.

I'm out of here now.

Action!

Well?

Sorry, sweetheart, your engine's shut.

Whoever changed your oil last, they didn't tighten the oil plug.

The oil leaked out, and that froze your engine.

Great. My father, Mr. Little Wrench.

Jesus. We have to be back to school on Monday. How fast can you fix this?

Well, I tell you, normally it takes me five days, but you promised to get me an

autographed picture of the pinks. I'll do it to you by tomorrow.

Oh, we can do that.

Yeah.

Okay.

Okay.

So why did you let him think we know the pinks?

Because. What other way are we going to get our car fixed that fast?

So what do we do until then? Sleep against the gate?

Don't worry.

I'll handle everything.

I hope so.

That's good.

Except for one thing, though.

We're not friends, are we, Marge?

My name's Margie, not Marge.

Reptile. A snake!

Is that a noun or an adjective?

Automatic.

Ah, great.

A musician with an IQ as wrong as his guitar.

My guitar ain't that long.

That's how we agreed to get the songs together.

If we have people over, we start to have fun.

And if we have fun, you know what happens.

We don't make no music. Music stops.

Come on, really?

I've never stopped your music.

Really? I've never stopped your music. You were born to stop my music, darling,

and that's okay with me.

I see.

Well, you know what?

I was thinking, you know, they need a place to stay since their car's broken

down.

And I was figuring, well, maybe if it'd be your night to cook, Geronimo,

they'd cook for us and then clean up afterwards and stay out of our way.

We'd let them stay here.

And, uh, since it is Geronimo's night to cook, I think we should decide right

now.

Okay.

Let's go make some music, mates.

You know, I could call my mom and ask her what to cook for a sexual weirdo and

his two weird friends.

Well, personally, I don't know how to cook.

So what do you say we just call out for pizza and go check out what the guys are

doing? Cool.

That works for me. Yeah.

Pizza.

Wait, wait, wait.

Wait! Wait a minute.

Wait a minute. I know.

I know.

Orange, haze all over my thighs. Excuse me while I kiss your thighs.

No, no, no.

Geronimo likes it.

Come on, let's go.

I wonder what that girl's up to.

I wonder what's going on there.

One,

two.

One, two.

One, two, three, four.

One, two, three, four.

I told you that kind of stuff would happen.

We were so beautiful.

You know, you're just about the sexiest motherfucker I ever wanted to go down

on. No!

Yeah. No, help!

No! No!

Hell of a chaperone he is.

Like an English boarding school material.

We must look pretty silly then, don't we?

I'm just glad to be here.

Not as glad as Morgana.

That's what I call liberation.

Hey, Andronimo, you think this is what Sister Mary... Hey, Andronimo, you think

this is what Sister Mary... You got it, compadre.

Forgive me, Father.

Thank you.

Hi.

Well, dig in.

What's the matter?

You can't cook like you listen.

Well, my whole family, they're all cooks.

My mother says in the dinner for me every Friday that I go back to the

restaurant business.

What do you do?

I have my accountant call her and tell her how much I make monthly, and she

stops pestering me.

I guess that works.

Ha ha ha!

More. Yeah.

Oh, God.

Woof!

What?

Yeah.

No.

Oh

One room.

Yeah.

um um

Oh!

God.

Amen.

I think this will help me.

thank you

Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, hello, Jimmy.

What's happening, mate?

Oh, listen, listen, Jimmy. I got a big fan of yours here. Real big fan.

She's just dying to talk to you, mate.

Here, talk to her.

Hello, Jimmy?

Shit, that's not Jimmy Hendrix!

Or Jimmy Page!

Fucking well, Danny.

Oh wow!

What?

He's right up here.

I don't know.

Bye.

Oh.

Oh! Oh, yes!

Oh, baby!

Oh!

Oh, God!

I know.

When I first met him, I thought they were real jerks, you know?

Now I'm kind of thinking this is a guy I could get serious with.

I mean...

If I'm going to get screwed tonight, I'm going to get a fucking kiss for it.

So what do you say, Snake?

Let me ask you something, guys.

I mean, I know when we first asked him to stay here, we just had the intention

of getting some quick pussy and going back to work.

But I'm going to give him a few different.

I think I like the name.

Snake Monster, what about the music?

For tonight, Snake is the music.

Wow.

Is that a good line or what?

You guys get this one down?

Tonight, you are my music.

Tonight, I want to sing your song.

I'm mad to get out of hand.

Fuck.

I want things to get out of hand tonight.

Yeah.

You look bolder than I look at you.

. .

um

Bye.

Well, so did you ever see those guys again?

God, I can't believe you haven't made the connection yet.

You know the guy with the snake?

Yeah. Well, he's your daddy.

Mom!