All language subtitles for 07-Vi

Can Your Excellency?

Aramari, today is the day you adopt
little orphan Sammy.

True, most certainly.

But of course, the plot begins to
unfold.

I wonder what he is like.

Golly, Sammy, are we ever going to miss
you? Oh, that goes double for me. But

don't be sad.

I'll come to visit you.

Sammy, you're so sweet.

But I won't be here. I'm transferring to
the Red Cross.

That's super and very American of you to
help folks who can't help themselves to

coffee and all those swell -free donuts.

Wow. Sammy, you're so sweet and you're
so kind and you're so thoughtful.

And since I'll never see you again,
would you?

Oh, sure.

Leaping lizards. It's a pleasure to
serve you. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.

the nurse, Sammy. Let me serve you.

Oh.

Golly, Randy.

We sure have made some great friends
here at the orphanage.

Gee whiz. Oh.

Gee.

Oh, that's swell.

Oh.

Drink.

My oil, my chauffeur, and my apprentice.

We must get ready for the little
innocent.

Beep, blizzards!

As you know, this is the day we have
been waiting for.

This innocent little orphan will give us
entree to that filthy capitalist pig,

Daddy Sawbucks.

We would not have to go into the
alternate plan if the hills

here had contained the entire formula.

Well, this is no press conference.

So, go bring the rented limo around.

Nuda!

You will stay here and oil up your
charms.

So tonight when you dance before the
Sultan, I mean the filthy capitalist

you will melt him, no?

No.

And you, Miss Maid.

You will stay here and help Nuda.

You will spread her nubile and luscious
body with all my exotic oils and

perfumes.

You will oil her well, you hot little
wench.

Tonight we must be, how you say,

slippery.

And while that young boy is in the
house, you will please stop playing with

yourself.

We don't want to make him suspicious,
yeah?

Yeah. Do.

Ridiculous. No.

Sammy, well, it's time for your last
examination.

Gee, Doc, that's true.

Shame you have to leave us. We're going
to miss you so much.

Oh, golly, I'll come back to visit you.

Oh, but darling, I won't be around. I'm
doing volunteer work for a birth control

clinic. Oh, that's super and very
American to help control those poor

keep having so many kids.

Golly, you'll save Uncle Sam a heap of
welfare money.

You're such a good boy.

Stand up, dear.

Turn your head and cough.

Oh, Sammy.

Since we'll probably never meet again.

Gosh, Doc.

You know, I'd volunteer to do anything
for you.

Don't touch me.

Don't! Don't! Don't touch me.

Don't!

Oh, Sammy, you're so good.

Golly. Oh, so kind, so hard.

Oh.

Gee,

Doc, I just love your exercises. I never
knew keeping tip -top shape could feel

so good.

Oh, yes, yes, yes. And the harder you
try, the better it gets.

Oh, that's right. Try harder. Oh, Sam.

Wow.

Leafy. Lizard.

Golly.

Oh.

Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh.

Oh. Gee.

Oh, gee whiz.

Wow. Oh. Doc.

Oh, wow.

Randy. What?

Randy. What?

Ollie, Doc, I better be going. But don't
worry. I'll keep doing your exercises

every day. I think they're great. It's
the American way to stay in shape.

Bye -bye.

Leave the lizards, Randy.

We sure have made some swell friends.

But sometimes I wonder about our oldest
and truest friend.

We don't want to forget him, do we?

Right. But it's super that we've made
such true blue friends.

And golly, they all like playing with
me.

Come on.

Come in, please.

Come on, Randy.

You are, dear boy.

I wanted to make sure that we had enough
time to say goodbye.

Leaf and lizards, Major. I wouldn't have
left without saying a special goodbye

to you.

Oh, Sammy.

My little Sammy.

Let me look at you.

You're not so little anymore, are you?
You're such a big boy.

I can remember the time when you and
Randy first came to us.

You were so small and lovable, clutching
your little suitcase.

And now you're almost a man.

You were like a son to me.

And now I'm going to miss you so much.
Oh, gee, Matron.

Oh, call me Marion, dear boy.

Oh, gee.

Marion, don't cry.

I'll come to visit you.

I'm afraid that's impossible, my
darling.

I'm transferring to a home for the aged.

Oh, that's super and very American of
you to look after old people. They're so

helpless and they get ripped off so
easily.

Yes, but you're so good, Sammy. And
since we may never meet each other

would you? Oh, sure.

Leaping lizard. I'm always ready.

Oh, hard man.

Oh, it's really nothing.

Oh, no, it's really something.

It's something.

Oh, and we all love you, Sam. All of us.

It's so nice and very American to be
able to help your friends, ain't it,

And it feels so good. Just help me a
little bit longer, please, Sammy.

But I sort of hope that's the last
goodbye.

Saying goodbye can be kind of exhausting
sometimes.

Besides, that nice lady who's adopted us
will be here before you can say Jack

Robinson.

Jack Robinson.

Randy.

Hmm. This must be our date now.

Open the door for the American dream.

You must be the nice lady that's going
to adopt us.

Well, darling boy, you must be my Sammy,
yeah?

You will get in.

Please. Oh, leaf and lizard, sure.

Golly, you're beautiful.

But you talk funny.

I went to grandma.

Oh. Home, Doc.

Wow.

Golly.

Leaping. Lizards.

Randy, this sure is a neat room, huh?

Oh, golly, miss, I could have carried
that for you. You didn't have to.

I like to help people. It's okay. I
don't want you to strain yourself for

anything. Is there anything I can do for
you? I mean, anything at all?

Maybe a rub?

Help you relax a little?

Oh, gee, no, ma 'am. I can unpack it all
myself.

Is there something I can do for you?

Well...

Maybe some other time, huh?

Sure, any time, ma 'am.

Randy, come here, Randy.

Gee, Randy.

You know, these folks are sort of
peculiar, but I guess that's what makes

so interesting and America so great. All
different kinds, all living together.

The big and the small, the red and the
black, the bad and the beautiful, the

naked and the dead.

But there are some that stand shoulders
in... head above everyone else, and such

a man as Daddy Sawbucks.

I wonder where he is and how he is.

Will our trails cross again?

Oh, well, wherever he is, he loves us,
he's doing the best he can for his

country, and so are we.

Oh, beautiful!

Oh, spacious skies!

You getting all that, Miss Tate?

Of course, Mr. Sawbucks.

Good. As I was saying.

As I was saying.

You were saying, what a dump.

Oh, yes, yes, yes, of course.

What a dump.

What other nation could produce such a
dump?

Such vast, unequaled volumes.

Such magnificent debris.

Such dirty amounts of... Garbage?

Garbage?

Garbage mistake!

Good old American garbage!

Cans! Glass!

Papers!

Sanitary napkins!

Oh! Oh, great heaps! Oh, magnificent
debris!

Oh, the filthy, incredible waste of the
great old U .S. of A., Punjab!

No, no, Punjab!

It may reek, but it is worth, it's
worth... Your entire fortune, sir?

That's right.

Billions. I've spent every cent of my
self -made fortune buying up every scrap

of garbage in this great and good
nation.

Do you know what that means?

From sea to shining sea, it's all mine.

I've cornered the market on garbage.

13 million acres.

12 .8, sir.

12 .8 million acres.

And do you know why?

My silent friend.

Since Punja took a solemn oath in the
Trappist monastery where she grew to

womanhood to remain forever silent until
she should find her long -lost brother,

it seemed somewhat rhetorical to ask her
questions.

It seems to me, Miss Tate, that her oath
of silence might well be followed by

others.

Now, as I was saying,

What was I saying, Miss Take?

Thirteen million acres.

Twelve point eight, sir.

Twelve point eight million acres.

And do you know why, my silent friend?

Right. Because some little dark race is
squatting out there on some sand dunes

thinking they've got this great nation
by the old testicles.

Balls. Testicles.

Balls. Good old American balls.

No bunch of faggots running around in
bed sheets is going to squeeze our

corporate balls.

No. I'm going to take this good American
garbage and turn it into oil.

Oil, brother.

How's that for good old American know
-how? You getting all this down, Miss

Tate? I don't want that committee
calling me shifty when they subpoena

tapes. Except for the 18 -minute gap
which you ordered, sir. Everything else

perfectly clear. And we're going to keep
it that way.

Punja, we are going to let those fellas
keep that black muck.

Let them choke on it.

This great nation is going to have all
the energy it needs from this.

From all of this.

Everything will be as it should be.

Except... I wonder where he is.

My little orphan, Sammy.

And how he is.

And if he is, will he come back to me?

Will our trails ever cross again?

Oh, well.

Wherever he is, he loved me.

Capitalist International Associates.

Daddy Sawbuck's division. Good
afternoon. May I help you?

Oh, yes, I see.

Mr. Sawbuck, it's for you, a lady.

I got no time for bimbos. You know that
mistake.

Yes, sir. But, sir, she says she's
adopted little orphan Sammy.

Jump and jump.

At last, my Sammy.

What? Oh, sh... Shit.

I beg your pardon.

No, I beg yours.

Sorry, I begged yours first.

True, but it was I who said, oh, shit.

I beg your pardon.

No, I beg... Oh, Judy, I understand you
adopted little orphan Sammy.

That is correct.

That, huh?

That's what I said.

That's what I thought you said. You talk
funny.

I went to Brenois.

Oh, fine school.

A little radical, but in the great
tradition.

Thank you for calling. Wait a minute.

I beg your pardon? Let's not start that
again.

I have adopted little orphan Sammy.

I have him here in mine house, and I
know he would love to see you.

Is that terrific?

You must bring little orphan Sammy over
to mine house tonight.

I'll show you how grateful I can be. I'm
sure you will.

What was that? I said the most certainly
will.

Good. You bring the wine.

Fool.

Impotent capitalist tool. He has spent
billions devising a formula to turn date

into petrochemicals. Imagine garbage
into oil.

But tonight...

They will pull the capitalist pig's
pork, so to speak.

And I will find where the secret tapes
are hidden.

Then, then I have them in my greedy but
beautiful hands.

The world will pay me billions,
billions, billions, billions.

9, 10, 11, 12,

13,

14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21,

22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28,

29, 30.

At last, Little Orphan Sammy is back.

How wonderful for you, sir.

Oh, jumping jams. I want to give that
kid the world.

Garbage. A whole world of garbage.

He'll be so proud of you, sir.

Damn right.

Excuse me, Miss T. I got carried away.

Would you like me to delete that
expletive, sir?

Yes, ma 'am. I don't want them to get
the wrong impression.

I want to bring Little Orphan Sammy out
here to see all of this.

We'll make a surprise party. How's my
schedule for time, Miss P?

Oh, you have an hour free next month,
sir?

On a Thursday.

How did that happen?

Your hairstylist is going on vacation,
sir.

Oh.

Oh, sir, may I remind you of the time?

Jumping germs.

Rev up the engine, Punjab. We're going
to go home to see little orphan Sammy.

Hey, listen.

You two.

I want you to keep your eyes on that
lady who adopted little orphan Sammy.

She might have learned to talk that way
at Bryn Mawr, but I smell a... Come on.

Oh, shit.

That's how I met Daddy Sawbucks, and a
better example of good old Yankee common

sense you'll never run across.

I think it's time for my milk, Randy.

Oh!

and lizards randy that lady i mean golly
she must be attacking the bell

telephone company hey you can't i mean
you mustn't mess with ma bell's linemen

like that they have to get their jobs
done quickly and efficiently ma 'am

sammy doll baby

oh but why

didn't you ask I'm always obliging, but
you can't expect to go around blowing

American labor on their job.

Tonight,

my little Nudo from Bermuda, you will
warm up Zarbuck's. No?

Then... I will finish him off, if you
know what I mean.

Da? Yeah? Your job is to crack the icy
exterior of his

stupid secretary.

He must get the formula, no matter what
it costs.

Da, do!

Hey, what about me, man? I mean, I got
to get a little.

You know?

I must hold you in reserve in the absurd
situation. case I might fail, which is

impossible.

Ridiculous, no?

Yes. I mean, how long are you going to
make me wait?

I got an itch.

I got to get it off.

Oh, all right.

You Latins are so impatient.

While we wait, you may do a little da.

Do da.

The duo.

Oh, the...

No.

Bye. Bye.

Bye.

Thank you.

Mm.

Mm.

I love you.

Mm -hmm. Uh -huh.

Thank you.

Sammy.

Golly. Shucks.

Sleeping lizards.

Jumping germs.

Gee whiz. Oh, Jiminy Crickets.

Golly, it's good to see you. You bet.

Oh, Daddy.

Oh, Sammy.

Enough of this. I am famished. Come.

Come, one and all, and share my humble
table and break bread with me.

And after, we will show our appreciation
with a, how you say, dance

of the belly.

I've got a feeling you want something
from me.

What is it?

Doom.

Da -doom.

Oh, it is something.

No, no, no, really, it's nothing. Oh,
yes, yes, it is something.

Well, perhaps to a chipmunk.

Oh, this chipmunk.

We'll let them fall where they may.

Believe me, lady, it's nothing.

Oh, believe me.

Oh, it is something.

It's hardly worth the climb.

Oh, it is something, I know.

Oh, are you in for a surprise?

Are you sure there isn't something you
wanted from me?

Hmm?

Golly, Randy, wouldn't it be great if
Dad and Sawbuck's out of mind to get it

together?

What do you think?

Yeah,

me too.

Dad, please don't be afraid to tell me.

You can tell me anything.

Anything.

Da, what does da mean?

I tell you, it is something.

I'm telling you, it's definitely
nothing.

He is right.

It is nothing.

What couldn't I do for Nuda?

Nuda got the...

I could have sworn there was something
you wanted from me.

Huh?

And that, my good woman, is why I can't
be seduced. And any man who can't be

seduced is capable of unlimited
productivity.

How's that for know -how? Good old
American, get up and go.

It does not go far.

But there must be something you, shall
we say, fuck

no?

Nothing, you evil woman, you.

Do not say nothing.

And I think I know what your little
perversion might be.

Wait.

Where did you get that unusual tattoo?

It's just like punching.

Noodle -like.

Punch -up better than that.

Oh, God.

Money. I've been found out.

Money. Money.

I've got to get off.

It is always the money that makes them
sperm.

Oh, I thought we met again with the
filthy loser.

And Big Daddy is no exception.

I've never had a jam, Bob.

It is ridiculous.

Yes.

Oh, now it's my turn, capitalist pork.

I want to cover you with it. I want to
cover you all over with it. Your tits,

your tongue, your tush, your twat, your
thighs, your toes.

Oh, I want to cover you all over with
it. With its sexiness, with its

beautifulness, with its powerfulness,
with its moneyness.

No, you don't, Daddy Starbucks.

Who do you think I am?

You must give me what I want.

Anything, anything I have.

Everything? Anything? I want to cover
you with its beautifulness, with its

powerfulness, with its sexiness, with
its moneyness. Oh, shut up.

You must give me the formula. The
formula that turns garbage into oil.

Anything.

Anything. Anything but that.

Then you shall never touch me with your
dirty money.

Golly.

Randy, I just had this bad dream. Our
country is threatened by something

awful.

You had it too, huh?

All right, all right.

You win.

What difference does garbage make when a
guy's got to get off?

There.

Give the formula.

Oh, stop the formula.

Oh. God, oh.

It's unpatriotic to walk on the faces of
our...

Presidents.

There's

money

all over the floor.

Something terrible must have happened.

That's queer.

A three dollar bill.

Sammy! What are you doing here?

You should be in bed like all good
American boys.

Not when my country is being threatened.

And who is doing that?

Well, I'm afraid...

I mean, golly, finding that trail of
money and all, and it leads straight to

and leaping lizards. You're covered with
it.

That ain't the American way.

So I guess you must be doing something
awful wrong.

You got no respect for the president's
faces.

How do you know this, my Sammy?

Because, well, golly, you got money
sticking out of your ass.

I'm sorry, but leaping lizards, I gotta
turn you in.

Oh, please, my Sammy.

Oh, be a good boy.

I know I have done the wrong thing, but

since we will never meet again, would
you?

Could you?

Gosh, ma 'am.

It's the American way to help your
enemies when they're down.

I'd do this for anybody.

Oh, Sammy.

Oh, you are so... Oh, I can't begin to
tell you.

Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh, my God!

Oh! I think I'm in love.

Small?

Oh, my goodness.

Oh, yes.

Golly, I sure am glad to help, ma 'am.

Isn't it great that the good old
American way feels so good?

Oh. Oh, yes, Danny.

Oh,

you bet.

And I'll never be the same again.

Oh, my God, I lost my accent.

Nobody can resist the good old American
way.

Once America fucks you, you're fucked.

Oh, no one can resist America.

And no one can resist you, Sammy.

My little American dream.

And what's more important...

Now you're a real American.

Punja. Punja, look what I found.

His tattoo.

It's just like yours.

My long lost brother.

Brother.

Oh, don't knock it.

A happy ending is the American way.

like this before.

Not with anyone.

Ever!

Golly, ma 'am. That goes double for me.

I just want you to know, I only worked
here.

And a guy's got to make a buck, right?

It's a rat race, you know.

But it's the American way.

I'm not complaining.

What the hell?

I'm getting a hell of a lot of overtime.

Wake up, America.

This is big old Daddy Sawbucks talking
to you.

We gotta shape up.

We can't let old Glory down.

And I'm sure that all of you people
sitting out there in those dark theaters

will agree with little orphan Sammy that
the American way is the best way.

Oh, yes, Big Daddy. I agree.

I agree.

Oh. Leaf and lizard.

Yeah. And the family that plays together
stays together.