Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:06,532 --> 00:00:07,649
This is a first.
2
00:00:07,734 --> 00:00:09,478
Empty service bay
available.
3
00:00:09,877 --> 00:00:11,360
Yeah, it happens.
4
00:00:11,610 --> 00:00:13,270
You know, usually,
when I bring my car in,
5
00:00:13,355 --> 00:00:14,572
I have to leave it
out on the street.
6
00:00:14,656 --> 00:00:16,001
- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah.
7
00:00:16,086 --> 00:00:17,394
'Cause you're
so busy.
8
00:00:17,710 --> 00:00:19,040
Yup.
9
00:00:20,020 --> 00:00:21,446
Not today, though.
10
00:00:22,836 --> 00:00:24,735
No, not today.
11
00:00:26,304 --> 00:00:27,395
You want to talk
about it?
12
00:00:27,682 --> 00:00:28,844
I do not.
13
00:00:33,071 --> 00:00:34,946
You know
I can't do that.
14
00:00:36,602 --> 00:00:38,606
All right, look, fine.
15
00:00:38,852 --> 00:00:40,782
Business isn't what
it used to be.
16
00:00:41,024 --> 00:00:43,790
And it's not just the
competition from the big chains,
17
00:00:43,922 --> 00:00:45,383
it's all these new cars.
18
00:00:45,711 --> 00:00:48,080
They don't have driveshafts
and differentials,
19
00:00:48,165 --> 00:00:50,751
it's just motherboards
and chips.
20
00:00:50,836 --> 00:00:53,391
It's like riding around
in a big-ass iPad.
21
00:00:55,546 --> 00:00:56,767
Well...
22
00:00:56,852 --> 00:00:58,626
would you like some
constructive criticism?
23
00:00:58,711 --> 00:01:00,313
Oh... Lord.
24
00:01:01,434 --> 00:01:03,308
Look, this place
is a little old-school.
25
00:01:03,393 --> 00:01:05,311
I mean, you don't
even have free Wi-Fi.
26
00:01:05,563 --> 00:01:06,939
Yes, I do.
27
00:01:07,023 --> 00:01:09,141
It's from the Thai place
next door.
28
00:01:09,989 --> 00:01:12,360
The password
is "padthai22."
29
00:01:12,445 --> 00:01:14,727
They tried to change it,
but I figured it out.
30
00:01:16,070 --> 00:01:17,196
Okay.
31
00:01:17,499 --> 00:01:19,157
Have you ever noticed
one of those businesses
32
00:01:19,241 --> 00:01:21,420
that has a sticker
in the window that reads,
33
00:01:21,589 --> 00:01:23,156
"People love us
on Yelp"?
34
00:01:24,139 --> 00:01:26,086
Yeah, but why would I care
about some sticker?
35
00:01:26,187 --> 00:01:28,665
Well, because your customers
care about them.
36
00:01:28,769 --> 00:01:30,180
I use the site
all the time.
37
00:01:30,272 --> 00:01:32,329
In fact, I have
Elite reviewer status,
38
00:01:32,414 --> 00:01:33,443
not to brag.
39
00:01:33,528 --> 00:01:35,165
Don't worry,
you didn't.
40
00:01:35,805 --> 00:01:37,430
Okay, think about this,
41
00:01:37,515 --> 00:01:39,172
would Tina
ever read a book
42
00:01:39,257 --> 00:01:40,681
that didn't have
an Oprah sticker on it?
43
00:01:40,765 --> 00:01:42,813
Hell no.
44
00:01:42,898 --> 00:01:45,626
How would she know
if the book is good?
45
00:01:49,476 --> 00:01:52,526
Ah...
46
00:01:52,634 --> 00:01:54,871
♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪
47
00:01:54,956 --> 00:01:56,719
♪ Welcome to the hood.
*THE NEIGHBORHOOD*
48
00:01:56,803 --> 00:01:58,803
*THE NEIGHBORHOOD*
Season 05 Episode 02
49
00:01:58,895 --> 00:02:00,829
Episode Title: "Welcome to the Pit Stop
How May I Help You"
50
00:02:00,929 --> 00:02:03,867
"Since 1989, Calvin Butler
Aired on: September 26, 2022.
51
00:02:03,952 --> 00:02:06,201
"has been Pasadena's
52
00:02:06,286 --> 00:02:09,306
"most sought-after
mechanic.
53
00:02:10,446 --> 00:02:13,688
There has even been
talk of a statue."
54
00:02:15,787 --> 00:02:18,641
- Whoa, check you out, Pop.
- What?
55
00:02:18,766 --> 00:02:21,439
You building a Yelp page.
Man, that's pretty ambitious
56
00:02:21,524 --> 00:02:22,969
for a man of your,
uh...
57
00:02:23,084 --> 00:02:24,738
...vintage.
58
00:02:26,040 --> 00:02:28,142
Well, I'll have you know
that I'm actually
59
00:02:28,227 --> 00:02:29,852
pretty good
with technology.
60
00:02:30,086 --> 00:02:32,372
See, I got this cool picture
of the shop.
61
00:02:32,456 --> 00:02:35,040
All I have to do is get it off
my phone and onto my computer,
62
00:02:35,125 --> 00:02:37,868
which is easy
because, uh...
63
00:02:44,986 --> 00:02:46,080
Just let me do it.
64
00:02:46,165 --> 00:02:47,525
Oh, I like that idea.
65
00:02:47,610 --> 00:02:49,868
- Yeah, there you go.
- Yeah.
66
00:02:51,150 --> 00:02:52,415
Hey, man,
67
00:02:52,603 --> 00:02:54,338
I've been thinking,
we should go out
68
00:02:54,423 --> 00:02:55,352
for a night on the town
this week,
69
00:02:55,436 --> 00:02:56,948
like back in the day.
Butler boys.
70
00:02:57,033 --> 00:02:59,747
Oh, yeah, that's
interesting.
71
00:02:59,831 --> 00:03:01,532
You know, since the day
you met Necie,
72
00:03:01,616 --> 00:03:04,634
you have asked me to hang out
a total of zero times.
73
00:03:05,881 --> 00:03:07,494
But now that she's out of town,
74
00:03:07,578 --> 00:03:09,366
suddenly,
I'm not invisible anymore.
75
00:03:09,450 --> 00:03:10,541
I know, I know.
76
00:03:10,625 --> 00:03:12,108
I've been
a bad brother.
77
00:03:12,193 --> 00:03:13,776
Yeah.
It's just so weird
78
00:03:13,861 --> 00:03:14,752
with Necie being gone.
79
00:03:14,837 --> 00:03:16,373
I don't know what
to do with myself, man.
80
00:03:16,457 --> 00:03:19,509
For the last six months,
I've been, you know,
81
00:03:19,686 --> 00:03:21,853
busy... every night.
82
00:03:22,838 --> 00:03:25,165
Yes, I know.
I can hear the shrieking.
83
00:03:26,803 --> 00:03:28,954
Thank God Necie
is quiet.
84
00:03:30,336 --> 00:03:31,862
Good Lord, yuck.
85
00:03:31,947 --> 00:03:33,651
I see your yuck,
86
00:03:33,735 --> 00:03:35,914
and raise you a...
87
00:03:36,641 --> 00:03:37,916
Okay, it has been a minute
88
00:03:38,001 --> 00:03:39,439
since I hit the clubs.
89
00:03:39,523 --> 00:03:41,920
We should take two
separate cars 'cause, uh,
90
00:03:42,016 --> 00:03:44,243
you know how your boy does.
91
00:03:46,359 --> 00:03:48,891
No, we don't.
Let's keep it that way.
92
00:03:50,491 --> 00:03:52,626
Here, Pops,
your picture is uploaded.
93
00:03:52,743 --> 00:03:55,063
Ah, cool. All right.
94
00:03:55,633 --> 00:03:57,446
And...
95
00:03:58,000 --> 00:04:00,836
Calvin's Yelp page
is ready to launch.
96
00:04:01,047 --> 00:04:03,071
All right.
This is exciting.
97
00:04:03,219 --> 00:04:05,392
Okay, ten... nine...
98
00:04:05,538 --> 00:04:07,415
eight... - And post.
99
00:04:07,790 --> 00:04:08,816
Dad,
100
00:04:09,118 --> 00:04:10,688
you got to respect
the countdown, man.
101
00:04:10,797 --> 00:04:12,962
Marty, I ain't got
time to waste.
102
00:04:13,047 --> 00:04:15,165
I'm trying to get me a sticker.
103
00:04:18,696 --> 00:04:19,736
So...
104
00:04:19,821 --> 00:04:22,134
you about ready
to close that thing?
105
00:04:22,547 --> 00:04:25,165
Almost.
106
00:04:26,700 --> 00:04:28,423
You know, writing a Yelp
107
00:04:28,508 --> 00:04:29,314
review is tricky.
108
00:04:29,399 --> 00:04:32,072
There's a fine line between rave
and going over the top.
109
00:04:32,157 --> 00:04:33,587
Oh, there's also
a fine line between
110
00:04:33,672 --> 00:04:35,446
sex and me
going to sleep.
111
00:04:36,821 --> 00:04:38,658
Stay with me, baby.
I'm almost done.
112
00:04:38,743 --> 00:04:40,595
Just give him
five stars
113
00:04:40,680 --> 00:04:42,188
and take
your pants off.
114
00:04:43,304 --> 00:04:45,212
Look, you know,
it's not that simple.
115
00:04:45,297 --> 00:04:48,189
I take the integrity of my
Yelp reviews very seriously.
116
00:04:48,274 --> 00:04:50,533
There are legions
of Yelpers out there
117
00:04:50,618 --> 00:04:54,086
who have come to trust
the reviews of "Dave J."
118
00:04:54,930 --> 00:04:56,892
That is 100%
in your head.
119
00:04:56,977 --> 00:04:58,257
Is it?
120
00:04:58,341 --> 00:05:00,994
I gave one star to a bike shop
that bent my frame.
121
00:05:01,079 --> 00:05:04,118
36 people found
that review "helpful."
122
00:05:05,274 --> 00:05:08,055
That bike shop
is now a dentist office.
123
00:05:08,891 --> 00:05:11,876
Mmm. That kind of power
is a turn-on.
124
00:05:12,254 --> 00:05:13,345
Is it?
125
00:05:13,430 --> 00:05:15,360
No, but it's 11:15, so
126
00:05:15,469 --> 00:05:17,296
- yes.
- O-Okay.
127
00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:22,281
♪ This little light of
128
00:05:22,365 --> 00:05:25,224
♪ Mine
129
00:05:25,309 --> 00:05:27,709
♪ I'm gonna let it... Ugh.
130
00:05:27,794 --> 00:05:29,959
Hey, Tina.
Thanks for picking me up.
131
00:05:30,044 --> 00:05:33,482
What in the Fergie's national
anthem is going on in there?
132
00:05:34,661 --> 00:05:36,397
It's the after-school
music program.
133
00:05:36,489 --> 00:05:37,920
We lost our music teacher
last year,
134
00:05:38,005 --> 00:05:39,748
so the biology teacher
is filling in.
135
00:05:39,833 --> 00:05:42,646
Well, what, is he dissecting
a live goat in there?
136
00:05:44,505 --> 00:05:45,545
It's not that bad.
137
00:05:48,982 --> 00:05:50,875
Okay, it's terrible.
Mm.
138
00:05:50,960 --> 00:05:52,287
I'm looking to hire
someone new,
139
00:05:52,372 --> 00:05:53,965
but it's a really hard
position to fill.
140
00:05:54,049 --> 00:05:56,315
I need someone
who can sing and dance
141
00:05:56,399 --> 00:05:57,944
and has the charisma
142
00:05:58,029 --> 00:06:00,058
to inspire the kids.
143
00:06:00,430 --> 00:06:01,910
And pretty.
144
00:06:04,794 --> 00:06:06,918
Gemma, how gullible
do you think I am?
145
00:06:07,003 --> 00:06:10,036
What? Why would you...
Wh-Wh-What?
146
00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:13,819
"Hey, T.
Thanks for picking me up.
147
00:06:13,904 --> 00:06:16,683
Meet me in front
of multipurpose room three."
148
00:06:16,810 --> 00:06:20,107
You knew damn well I was gonna
walk in and hear all that mess.
149
00:06:20,193 --> 00:06:23,458
Whoa. You think...
Wh... Uh, what?
150
00:06:25,994 --> 00:06:27,042
Will you do it?
151
00:06:28,257 --> 00:06:30,610
Gemma, you know I've got
my cupcake business and...
152
00:06:30,694 --> 00:06:32,724
But it's only a couple
of afternoons a week.
153
00:06:32,809 --> 00:06:34,770
But you know what?
154
00:06:34,959 --> 00:06:36,506
I shouldn't have
put you on the spot.
155
00:06:36,591 --> 00:06:38,216
Yeah, you
shouldn't have.
156
00:06:38,802 --> 00:06:40,326
- Oh, hi, Miss Tina.
- Hey.
157
00:06:40,419 --> 00:06:42,740
I wasn't expecting
to see you here.
158
00:06:44,740 --> 00:06:46,365
Can we
go home, Mom?
159
00:06:46,449 --> 00:06:47,671
I'm sad.
160
00:06:47,756 --> 00:06:49,755
This is making all the kids
fall out of love
161
00:06:49,840 --> 00:06:51,668
- with music.
- Oh.
162
00:06:55,676 --> 00:06:58,769
The only thing worse than
that singing is y'all's acting.
163
00:06:59,271 --> 00:07:00,684
I'll take that
as a yes.
164
00:07:00,880 --> 00:07:02,497
All right.
165
00:07:05,293 --> 00:07:07,380
- Mm-hmm.
- Mm...
166
00:07:07,688 --> 00:07:09,091
Mm-hmm...
167
00:07:09,896 --> 00:07:12,225
So...?
It's good, right?
168
00:07:12,310 --> 00:07:13,896
No, it's great.
169
00:07:13,981 --> 00:07:16,379
Real rave. Five stars.
170
00:07:16,802 --> 00:07:18,005
Happy to do it.
171
00:07:18,175 --> 00:07:20,267
There's one line
in here that,
172
00:07:20,404 --> 00:07:22,357
uh, you know,
threw me off a little.
173
00:07:22,529 --> 00:07:24,490
"Don't be put off
174
00:07:24,575 --> 00:07:26,466
"by the owner's
prickly exterior,
175
00:07:26,637 --> 00:07:29,396
you'll come to realize
he's a great guy."
176
00:07:30,215 --> 00:07:31,271
Yeah.
177
00:07:31,786 --> 00:07:34,116
Why-why did you call me
"prickly"?
178
00:07:35,044 --> 00:07:36,859
Well, the takeaway is
179
00:07:37,138 --> 00:07:38,708
"great guy."
180
00:07:39,200 --> 00:07:40,607
Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure,
181
00:07:40,693 --> 00:07:43,513
but before that it's "prickly."
182
00:07:45,396 --> 00:07:48,383
Okay, look, Calvin, don't
take this as an insult, but,
183
00:07:48,544 --> 00:07:50,821
you know, I didn't want my
followers to come in and be...
184
00:07:50,905 --> 00:07:54,646
caught off guard by your...
strong personality.
185
00:07:55,107 --> 00:07:57,697
But, again, "great guy."
186
00:07:58,872 --> 00:08:01,221
I appreciate
the review, Dave,
187
00:08:01,607 --> 00:08:05,021
but, come on, I'm not prickly.
188
00:08:08,287 --> 00:08:09,639
Oh, I agree, Pop.
189
00:08:09,724 --> 00:08:10,959
You're not prickly.
190
00:08:11,044 --> 00:08:11,975
Thank you.
191
00:08:12,060 --> 00:08:13,713
Yeah, that's not
the right word.
192
00:08:13,797 --> 00:08:16,724
It's more like...
cantankerous.
193
00:08:18,138 --> 00:08:19,327
Testy.
194
00:08:19,411 --> 00:08:20,459
Cranky.
195
00:08:20,543 --> 00:08:22,365
Ooh, you know,
I considered cranky.
196
00:08:22,459 --> 00:08:25,178
- Ah.
- Ooh, you know what? I got it:
197
00:08:25,263 --> 00:08:26,530
obstreperous.
198
00:08:26,615 --> 00:08:28,902
- Oh, yeah. Obstreperous.
- No, no, no, no.
199
00:08:28,986 --> 00:08:30,774
I am not obstreperous.
200
00:08:30,858 --> 00:08:33,857
I'm the opposite.
I am very streperous.
201
00:08:34,800 --> 00:08:36,906
Calvin, you know, you're
only focusing on the negative.
202
00:08:36,990 --> 00:08:37,951
Look at this.
203
00:08:38,036 --> 00:08:41,172
18 thumbs up for Dave J.
I'm killing it.
204
00:08:42,763 --> 00:08:44,396
But the important
thing is-is
205
00:08:44,480 --> 00:08:46,756
I'm bringing eyeballs
to your site.
206
00:08:46,841 --> 00:08:50,115
Yes, and all the eyeballs
are agreeing with you.
207
00:08:50,200 --> 00:08:53,466
"The owner is definitely
on the prickly side."
208
00:08:54,098 --> 00:08:57,677
Oh, ooh, oh, look at,
"Watch out for Mr. Grumpy."
209
00:08:58,625 --> 00:09:00,760
Look, these are all
five-star reviews, though.
210
00:09:00,844 --> 00:09:02,719
This is how
you earn the sticker.
211
00:09:02,803 --> 00:09:03,981
Ooh, "crusty."
212
00:09:04,130 --> 00:09:07,419
Ooh, yup, yup.
"Crotchety."
213
00:09:10,158 --> 00:09:13,155
- ♪ Oh, freedom
- ♪ Freedom
214
00:09:13,240 --> 00:09:15,225
♪ Freedom
♪ Freedom
215
00:09:15,310 --> 00:09:16,358
♪ Freedom
216
00:09:16,443 --> 00:09:17,951
- ♪ Freedom...
- Stop.
217
00:09:18,035 --> 00:09:19,583
Stop, stop, stop.
218
00:09:19,747 --> 00:09:21,311
Okay.
219
00:09:21,396 --> 00:09:24,162
William, Phoebe,
I think you two will be happier
220
00:09:24,247 --> 00:09:26,771
in the rhythm section.
We all will.
221
00:09:28,482 --> 00:09:30,834
Okay, now, let's take it back
222
00:09:30,918 --> 00:09:32,709
to the top.
223
00:09:32,794 --> 00:09:34,604
♪ Oh, freedom
224
00:09:34,689 --> 00:09:37,849
- ♪ Freedom, freedom
- ♪ Freedom
225
00:09:37,958 --> 00:09:40,194
- ♪ Freedom
- ♪ Freedom...
226
00:09:40,279 --> 00:09:42,367
Stop!
227
00:09:42,451 --> 00:09:43,934
Ugh, Grover,
228
00:09:44,018 --> 00:09:48,068
you are croaking
like a frog. Stand up.
229
00:09:48,216 --> 00:09:50,303
I need for you to sing
from your diaphragm, okay?
230
00:09:50,388 --> 00:09:52,943
We're gonna take you up
an octave, Froggy, all right?
231
00:09:53,027 --> 00:09:54,678
- ♪ Ah
- ♪ Ah
232
00:09:54,763 --> 00:09:56,555
- ♪ Ah, ah
- ♪ Ah
233
00:09:56,640 --> 00:09:57,927
♪ Ah...
- Yes!
234
00:09:58,044 --> 00:10:00,951
That's your
sweet spot, Kermit.
235
00:10:02,591 --> 00:10:04,476
Hey, hey, hey, hey,
don't laugh.
236
00:10:04,560 --> 00:10:05,651
Some of y'all
sound like
237
00:10:05,735 --> 00:10:08,005
you got your fingers
slammed in a car door.
238
00:10:10,385 --> 00:10:12,607
Let's go. Again.
239
00:10:13,846 --> 00:10:16,069
This is gonna take a week?
240
00:10:16,224 --> 00:10:17,670
Well, it wouldn't
take a week
241
00:10:17,755 --> 00:10:19,839
if you ever
changed your oil.
242
00:10:20,450 --> 00:10:22,451
Man, you sound like
my father.
243
00:10:22,536 --> 00:10:25,084
Well, I am not your father
because, if I was,
244
00:10:25,169 --> 00:10:28,107
I'd take your car
and give you a bike.
245
00:10:28,673 --> 00:10:30,414
Now take that
to your real daddy.
246
00:10:34,490 --> 00:10:37,161
So, Calvin, just curious,
247
00:10:37,435 --> 00:10:39,007
how do you think that guy's
feeling right now?
248
00:10:39,091 --> 00:10:42,253
Probably stupid
for not changing his oil.
249
00:10:42,708 --> 00:10:44,908
Okay, you know what,
uh, let me rephrase.
250
00:10:44,992 --> 00:10:47,214
What do you think that guy's
gonna say on Yelp?
251
00:10:48,426 --> 00:10:49,802
"Five stars"?
252
00:10:51,217 --> 00:10:53,529
"Guy reminds me of my father"?
253
00:10:54,716 --> 00:10:56,572
Come on, Dave, come on,
don't-don't get in my head
254
00:10:56,656 --> 00:10:58,051
- about this.
- Well, I don't want to,
255
00:10:58,135 --> 00:11:00,490
but with Yelp comes
tremendous responsibility.
256
00:11:00,575 --> 00:11:02,694
I don't want
the responsibility,
257
00:11:02,779 --> 00:11:04,310
I just want the sticker.
258
00:11:05,146 --> 00:11:07,568
You have to earn the sticker.
259
00:11:07,653 --> 00:11:09,736
Now, it's not
that not hard.
260
00:11:09,958 --> 00:11:12,014
You just got to add
a little bit of sunshine.
261
00:11:12,099 --> 00:11:15,622
Now, I've taken the liberty of
making you a little cheat sheet.
262
00:11:15,708 --> 00:11:18,245
Here, "Number one,
ask them how they're doing,
263
00:11:18,329 --> 00:11:20,130
i.e. how their day is."
264
00:11:20,669 --> 00:11:23,076
Their day is terrible.
Their car's broken.
265
00:11:23,160 --> 00:11:24,556
Ugh.
266
00:11:24,841 --> 00:11:27,333
Calvin, come on,
just try it out.
267
00:11:28,255 --> 00:11:30,427
All right,
I'll give it a shot,
268
00:11:30,638 --> 00:11:31,521
man.
Okay, look.
269
00:11:31,606 --> 00:11:32,990
Yeah, all right.
270
00:11:33,661 --> 00:11:36,201
Hello. Welcome
to Calvin's Pit Stop.
271
00:11:36,286 --> 00:11:39,396
How are you today?
I'd really like to know.
272
00:11:46,226 --> 00:11:47,534
Hey.
273
00:11:47,619 --> 00:11:50,497
Hello, again. How are you?
274
00:11:50,654 --> 00:11:53,419
I need to dump some used
motor oil. Where do I put it?
275
00:11:53,552 --> 00:11:54,990
I'll tell you
where you can put it.
276
00:11:55,075 --> 00:11:57,146
You can put it...
277
00:11:58,818 --> 00:12:02,246
Look, I'm sorry, but we only
do that for our customers.
278
00:12:02,458 --> 00:12:06,032
But the recycling center is just
a mile up Lincoln in Altadena.
279
00:12:06,116 --> 00:12:07,819
It's a lovely drive, by the way.
280
00:12:07,904 --> 00:12:08,948
All right, fine.
281
00:12:10,381 --> 00:12:13,518
Be sure to love us on Yelp.
282
00:12:14,203 --> 00:12:15,071
Man...
283
00:12:15,156 --> 00:12:15,677
You see that...
284
00:12:15,762 --> 00:12:17,825
Calvin, that showed
amazing restraint.
285
00:12:18,247 --> 00:12:20,568
- It sure did. Did you hear him?
- Yeah.
286
00:12:20,653 --> 00:12:22,108
"I want
to recycle my oil."
287
00:12:22,193 --> 00:12:24,217
You know what?
I was about to recycle...
288
00:12:24,302 --> 00:12:26,270
Hey, hello.
289
00:12:26,354 --> 00:12:28,098
Welcome to Calvin's Pit Stop.
290
00:12:28,182 --> 00:12:31,841
How can I turn
your Monday a fun day?
291
00:12:32,020 --> 00:12:33,587
Nailed it.
292
00:12:39,510 --> 00:12:40,958
So, I wanted
to show you
293
00:12:41,043 --> 00:12:43,179
what I'm gonna do
with my class tomorrow.
294
00:12:43,358 --> 00:12:45,285
Nobody can teach the difference
295
00:12:45,370 --> 00:12:47,593
between major
and minor keys like
296
00:12:47,865 --> 00:12:50,185
Stevie Wonder.
297
00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:51,551
Ooh. Whew.
298
00:12:51,636 --> 00:12:54,816
This is gonna blow
their little unformed minds.
299
00:12:55,427 --> 00:12:56,661
That's awesome.
300
00:12:56,746 --> 00:12:59,621
You're doing a great job.
It's just...
301
00:12:59,865 --> 00:13:01,521
these kids are
pretty sheltered,
302
00:13:01,606 --> 00:13:03,481
and I'm afraid
you're being a
303
00:13:03,783 --> 00:13:06,571
teensy bit... blunt.
304
00:13:06,732 --> 00:13:07,964
Yup. That's me.
305
00:13:08,048 --> 00:13:10,232
Yeah.
306
00:13:10,317 --> 00:13:11,419
And that's great.
307
00:13:11,504 --> 00:13:13,882
It's just, maybe you're
a little too blunt.
308
00:13:13,967 --> 00:13:16,654
Just a teensy weensy bit.
309
00:13:17,794 --> 00:13:19,466
Okay, so let me
get this straight.
310
00:13:19,551 --> 00:13:22,208
I'm being
"a teensy weensy bit...
311
00:13:22,345 --> 00:13:23,393
too blunt"?
312
00:13:23,478 --> 00:13:25,788
Just try to remember
they're children.
313
00:13:26,050 --> 00:13:29,091
Children with parents who aren't
shy about calling the principal.
314
00:13:29,176 --> 00:13:30,216
But, again,
315
00:13:30,301 --> 00:13:33,612
you're doing great,
so great.
316
00:13:33,896 --> 00:13:36,372
So great, but too blunt, huh?
317
00:13:36,457 --> 00:13:38,244
Just an eensy, teensy,
weensy bit.
318
00:13:38,329 --> 00:13:40,599
And pretty, so pretty.
319
00:13:45,177 --> 00:13:46,959
Whoo! Oh, man!
320
00:13:47,043 --> 00:13:48,615
Man, it's been
a long time.
321
00:13:48,700 --> 00:13:50,139
Last time
I was out like this,
322
00:13:50,224 --> 00:13:52,751
I was a desperate single guy,
striking out with hot women.
323
00:13:54,935 --> 00:13:56,897
Well, it's a grind
out here, man.
324
00:13:56,982 --> 00:13:59,123
You know, you are lucky
you are not on the hunt anymore.
325
00:13:59,207 --> 00:14:01,240
Hey, what can I say, baby?
I'm a lucky man.
326
00:14:01,325 --> 00:14:03,240
Yeah, right.
327
00:14:06,113 --> 00:14:08,031
I am in your way.
Forgive me.
328
00:14:08,116 --> 00:14:11,318
Oh, don't worry.
I'll find a way to squeeze in.
329
00:14:16,733 --> 00:14:19,130
- What the hell was that?
- What?
330
00:14:20,722 --> 00:14:22,208
She was hitting
on you, man.
331
00:14:22,293 --> 00:14:24,677
- No, really?
- Yes, really.
332
00:14:25,734 --> 00:14:27,068
Save my spot.
333
00:14:27,372 --> 00:14:29,697
At all costs.
Okay.
334
00:14:29,967 --> 00:14:31,132
- This spot right here?
- Mm-hmm.
335
00:14:31,216 --> 00:14:32,476
Okay, I got it.
336
00:14:34,355 --> 00:14:37,013
You're dancing
with me.
337
00:14:37,789 --> 00:14:40,411
Who are you?
338
00:14:40,567 --> 00:14:42,349
I don't know.
339
00:14:47,496 --> 00:14:48,802
Uh-oh.
340
00:14:50,682 --> 00:14:52,131
Baby, why are you frowning?
341
00:14:52,216 --> 00:14:53,983
I can't help it, bae.
342
00:14:54,113 --> 00:14:56,458
I've been fake-smiling all day.
343
00:14:57,482 --> 00:15:00,279
It's like my face
been doing squats.
344
00:15:01,126 --> 00:15:03,818
But, apparently,
that's what you have to do
345
00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:06,529
if I want to get
one of these Yelp stickers.
346
00:15:06,724 --> 00:15:10,411
I mean, God forbid I look
at somebody the wrong way,
347
00:15:10,496 --> 00:15:12,368
and they write a bad review.
348
00:15:13,300 --> 00:15:14,974
Well, that's ridiculous,
Calvin.
349
00:15:15,059 --> 00:15:16,708
Your customers
have always loved you.
350
00:15:16,828 --> 00:15:18,094
I know.
351
00:15:18,178 --> 00:15:19,685
So what if
I'm prickly?
352
00:15:19,770 --> 00:15:22,471
- I am who I am.
- Exactly.
353
00:15:22,556 --> 00:15:23,778
You know,
like today,
354
00:15:23,885 --> 00:15:25,803
Gemma told me that
I was too blunt.
355
00:15:25,888 --> 00:15:27,370
What's wrong with blunt?
356
00:15:27,455 --> 00:15:28,568
Nothing.
357
00:15:28,653 --> 00:15:30,832
It's not my job
to lie to those kids.
358
00:15:30,917 --> 00:15:33,140
They need honesty
if they're gonna do better.
359
00:15:33,454 --> 00:15:35,938
You know what,
if we are guilty of anything,
360
00:15:36,022 --> 00:15:37,497
it's that
we care too much.
361
00:15:37,582 --> 00:15:38,761
Boom.
362
00:15:40,851 --> 00:15:43,005
I actually like
your bluntness.
363
00:15:43,090 --> 00:15:45,660
- Mm.
- You are a strong, blunt woman.
364
00:15:45,857 --> 00:15:47,123
Mm-hmm.
365
00:15:47,207 --> 00:15:49,560
And I like that
you're prickly, you know?
366
00:15:49,645 --> 00:15:51,099
That means
you don't take any crap.
367
00:15:51,184 --> 00:15:54,700
You mess with a porcupine,
your behind's gonna get pricked.
368
00:15:56,868 --> 00:15:58,961
You see, that's why
we are a great couple.
369
00:15:59,045 --> 00:16:01,572
Mm. That's right,
that's right.
370
00:16:01,656 --> 00:16:03,700
Um, baby,
may I be blunt?
371
00:16:03,830 --> 00:16:05,740
I wish that you would.
372
00:16:06,791 --> 00:16:08,971
I want to take you
to the bedroom
373
00:16:09,055 --> 00:16:11,919
and do 17 nasty
things to you.
374
00:16:12,739 --> 00:16:14,060
Seventeen?
375
00:16:15,609 --> 00:16:19,161
Ooh, can we do nine
and get some rest?
376
00:16:20,557 --> 00:16:24,279
No? Well, how about I lay
there, and we can do 12?
377
00:16:36,965 --> 00:16:38,665
Valerie! Valerie.
378
00:16:38,750 --> 00:16:41,318
Valerie, I...
I'm an engaged man.
379
00:16:41,403 --> 00:16:43,451
A very, very flattered
engaged man.
380
00:16:43,703 --> 00:16:44,779
Okay.
381
00:16:48,586 --> 00:16:50,044
I feel like a piece of meat,
382
00:16:50,129 --> 00:16:52,047
but I did get a free margatini.
383
00:16:52,997 --> 00:16:55,104
I figured it out.
384
00:16:55,224 --> 00:16:57,036
You know, it all
makes sense now.
385
00:16:57,248 --> 00:16:59,775
See, it used to be,
in situations like this, you...
386
00:16:59,946 --> 00:17:02,271
you always had an air
of desperation about you.
387
00:17:02,529 --> 00:17:04,513
Yeah, no argument there.
388
00:17:05,091 --> 00:17:07,005
But now that
you have a fiancée,
389
00:17:07,090 --> 00:17:08,521
it is totally
different.
390
00:17:08,648 --> 00:17:10,566
You see,
the desperation is gone.
391
00:17:10,681 --> 00:17:12,512
You're loose
and-and funny,
392
00:17:12,597 --> 00:17:14,558
and you are not even
trying at all.
393
00:17:14,643 --> 00:17:15,998
Why didn't I have
this superpower
394
00:17:16,083 --> 00:17:17,305
when I could've enjoyed it?
395
00:17:17,390 --> 00:17:19,395
That is the irony,
my brother.
396
00:17:19,480 --> 00:17:21,943
You only have it
because you don't need it.
397
00:17:22,518 --> 00:17:24,653
You know, this is fun,
man, but...
398
00:17:24,956 --> 00:17:26,904
I am over this dating scene.
399
00:17:27,352 --> 00:17:29,180
Got to be honest,
lil' bro...
400
00:17:30,141 --> 00:17:32,189
...I envy what you have
with Necie.
401
00:17:32,311 --> 00:17:34,360
Aw, man.
402
00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:36,602
You know, if you want
to find the one,
403
00:17:36,858 --> 00:17:38,303
you got to meet her
somewhere, right?
404
00:17:38,388 --> 00:17:40,450
- Yeah.
- Let me
405
00:17:40,535 --> 00:17:42,021
use my powers for good.
406
00:17:42,191 --> 00:17:43,857
What do you mean?
407
00:17:44,865 --> 00:17:46,198
Excuse me, miss.
408
00:17:46,282 --> 00:17:48,138
- Do you like Idris Elba?
- Yes, I do.
409
00:17:48,223 --> 00:17:51,273
Okay, well, what if Idris
was younger, more athletic,
410
00:17:51,358 --> 00:17:53,648
and had a job coaching baseball
at one of the most prestigious
411
00:17:53,732 --> 00:17:55,120
universities in
Southern California?
412
00:17:55,204 --> 00:17:56,458
Whoa, you do?
413
00:17:56,543 --> 00:17:58,021
No, girl. Look at me.
414
00:17:59,220 --> 00:18:02,427
No, I struck out at kickball,
and I'm engaged, but...
415
00:18:03,346 --> 00:18:05,830
...this is my brother,
and he is a catch.
416
00:18:05,915 --> 00:18:07,810
Hey, I'm Malcolm.
417
00:18:07,895 --> 00:18:09,052
Six two.
418
00:18:09,137 --> 00:18:11,897
Hi, Malcolm. Uh, come sit
with me and my friends.
419
00:18:11,982 --> 00:18:14,450
Oh, I would love to.
420
00:18:14,537 --> 00:18:15,976
Can you do
a British accent?
421
00:18:16,122 --> 00:18:18,599
I do believe I can.
422
00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:23,568
Oh, hey, Calvin.
423
00:18:24,113 --> 00:18:26,279
So, you just wait out here?
424
00:18:27,505 --> 00:18:29,115
Sometimes I do, yes.
425
00:18:30,632 --> 00:18:33,029
- What do you want?
- Okay, well,
426
00:18:33,286 --> 00:18:35,521
despite my intentions,
which were
427
00:18:35,635 --> 00:18:37,021
very, very good...
428
00:18:37,286 --> 00:18:38,802
I messed up.
429
00:18:40,592 --> 00:18:41,901
What the hell?
430
00:18:42,419 --> 00:18:45,029
So my rating went down
a half a star?
431
00:18:45,160 --> 00:18:46,771
I know. Scroll down.
432
00:18:48,170 --> 00:18:50,871
"The owner smiled
the whole time,
433
00:18:50,955 --> 00:18:52,458
it was creepy."
434
00:18:54,443 --> 00:18:56,225
Oh, and then
there's this one.
435
00:18:56,309 --> 00:18:58,997
"Expect a lot
of mindless chitchat."
436
00:18:59,223 --> 00:19:00,536
In my defense,
437
00:19:00,621 --> 00:19:03,263
I happen to love
mindless chitchat.
438
00:19:03,501 --> 00:19:05,636
You know, I should've
followed my instincts.
439
00:19:05,776 --> 00:19:08,974
It just didn't feel right
being so nice.
440
00:19:11,114 --> 00:19:12,388
I'm done, Dave.
441
00:19:12,473 --> 00:19:14,043
I'm bringing back
old Calvin,
442
00:19:14,146 --> 00:19:16,896
and if that doesn't give me
a sticker, then so be it.
443
00:19:16,981 --> 00:19:18,458
No, y-you are getting
that sticker
444
00:19:18,543 --> 00:19:20,513
because you're
a great mechanic.
445
00:19:20,766 --> 00:19:22,381
Look, you were getting
nothing but five stars
446
00:19:22,465 --> 00:19:23,687
until I started getting
in your head.
447
00:19:23,771 --> 00:19:24,763
You're damn right I was.
448
00:19:24,848 --> 00:19:26,766
Yes, you were, and you want
to know why?
449
00:19:27,056 --> 00:19:29,240
Because people
love Prickly Calvin.
450
00:19:30,334 --> 00:19:32,383
I love
Prickly Calvin.
451
00:19:33,747 --> 00:19:34,859
I know you do.
452
00:19:35,372 --> 00:19:37,200
Now get the hell
out of my way.
453
00:19:39,385 --> 00:19:40,560
Hey, Calvin.
454
00:19:42,646 --> 00:19:44,300
Welcome back.
455
00:19:50,434 --> 00:19:51,732
♪ Freedom
456
00:19:51,825 --> 00:19:53,912
- ♪ Freedom
- ♪ Oh, freedom
457
00:19:53,997 --> 00:19:55,130
♪ Freedom
458
00:19:55,215 --> 00:19:57,351
- ♪ Freedom
- ♪ Oh, freedom
459
00:19:58,716 --> 00:20:02,739
♪ Freedom, freedom ♪ Freedom
460
00:20:02,824 --> 00:20:04,771
♪ Oh, freedom, oh, freedom
461
00:20:04,856 --> 00:20:07,225
♪ Freedom.
462
00:20:08,091 --> 00:20:10,583
Yes! I love it.
463
00:20:10,668 --> 00:20:13,575
That was almost beautiful.
464
00:20:14,343 --> 00:20:17,044
You little germ buckets
can sing.
465
00:20:17,128 --> 00:20:20,700
All right, give me some,
give me some, give me some.
466
00:20:20,784 --> 00:20:24,356
Okay, okay, now,
run me my props.
467
00:20:24,802 --> 00:20:26,268
I think that's what
I'm about to do.
468
00:20:28,009 --> 00:20:29,693
Tina, I'm blown away.
469
00:20:29,778 --> 00:20:31,870
Oh, of course you are.
And by the way?
470
00:20:31,955 --> 00:20:33,699
Five more kids
showed up this week,
471
00:20:33,784 --> 00:20:35,794
and two of them
can actually sing.
472
00:20:37,459 --> 00:20:39,290
- That's great.
- Uh-huh.
473
00:20:39,375 --> 00:20:40,944
Look, Gemma, I, um,
474
00:20:41,029 --> 00:20:42,716
I know you're in
a tough position,
475
00:20:42,816 --> 00:20:44,919
but... I got to be me.
476
00:20:45,130 --> 00:20:46,465
And I want you to be.
477
00:20:46,549 --> 00:20:47,895
If I'm gonna be good at my job,
478
00:20:47,980 --> 00:20:49,675
- I've got to hire the best people...
- Mm.
479
00:20:49,760 --> 00:20:51,208
- ...and you are the best.
- Mm.
480
00:20:51,293 --> 00:20:53,194
You can be as blunt
as you want to be.
481
00:20:53,279 --> 00:20:54,982
Good.
'Cause those pants
482
00:20:55,067 --> 00:20:57,005
aren't doing your butt
any favors.
33858
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