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1
00:00:05,781 --> 00:00:07,901
Look at me, right?
2
00:00:07,981 --> 00:00:09,621
And look at the Queen.
3
00:00:09,701 --> 00:00:14,261
I was never a fan until it occurred to me
how much me and Ma'am have in common.
4
00:00:14,340 --> 00:00:16,620
Bringing up kiddies,
you can't remember the names of.
5
00:00:16,701 --> 00:00:20,661
I know she's not a single parent,
but she might as well be.
6
00:00:20,741 --> 00:00:23,181
Plus, the pair of us,
we've stuck to our guns,
7
00:00:23,261 --> 00:00:26,901
her, literally sometimes,
and flagshipped a dying breed.
8
00:00:26,980 --> 00:00:29,261
Admired and despised equally.
9
00:00:29,341 --> 00:00:34,860
Not for never lifting a finger, no,
for setting examples through extremity.
10
00:00:34,941 --> 00:00:37,501
And whether you're a bigwig on her end
or a bigwig on mine,
11
00:00:37,580 --> 00:00:39,621
you've still got all your dickheads
in the middle to deal with,
12
00:00:39,701 --> 00:00:41,621
snip, snip, snipping at your benefits.
13
00:00:41,701 --> 00:00:46,421
I mean, she can't not be looking at me
and thinking, "What's your secret, Frank?"
14
00:00:46,501 --> 00:00:49,260
I got shot of my kids yonks back,
15
00:00:49,341 --> 00:00:51,381
whereas she's yet to see
the back of a single one.
16
00:00:51,461 --> 00:00:52,580
Fine!
17
00:00:52,661 --> 00:00:54,940
I've had to get out of bed on occasion
to make ends meet,
18
00:00:55,021 --> 00:00:58,260
whereas she,
she's done the whole thing from a chair.
19
00:01:00,141 --> 00:01:01,661
Oh, and a drink for the lady.
20
00:01:01,741 --> 00:01:03,061
Oh, sure, there's perks.
21
00:01:03,141 --> 00:01:06,741
But, look at her lot.
Brian May prancing about on her roof.
22
00:01:06,821 --> 00:01:09,181
Now, look at my lot,
23
00:01:09,261 --> 00:01:13,541
we know how to throw
a proper fucking pa-a-rty!
24
00:01:21,941 --> 00:01:24,060
[Dom] The more I think about it,
the more I realise
25
00:01:24,140 --> 00:01:26,741
that pretty much
everyone's got a secret identity.
26
00:01:29,780 --> 00:01:32,500
And I'm not, you know,
meaning like Batman or Superman.
27
00:01:32,581 --> 00:01:35,381
Although when I was ten,
I did put my pants on my head
28
00:01:35,461 --> 00:01:37,860
and run around
pretending to be a superhero,
29
00:01:37,941 --> 00:01:39,181
the Catholic Avenger.
30
00:01:39,261 --> 00:01:42,101
Exorcised the next door neighbour's cat.
Worked as well.
31
00:01:43,220 --> 00:01:46,700
No, I mean the secret identity
being you, the real you,
32
00:01:46,780 --> 00:01:49,220
the one behind
all that bluster and front.
33
00:01:52,381 --> 00:01:54,941
Like the woman
who pretended she didn't need love.
34
00:01:55,021 --> 00:01:58,021
But found it closer to home
than she could have ever imagined.
35
00:01:58,901 --> 00:01:59,821
[door opens]
36
00:01:59,901 --> 00:02:03,420
Or the boy who's doing his best to be
a loving husband and good father.
37
00:02:05,541 --> 00:02:06,901
Those good looks and easy smile
38
00:02:06,981 --> 00:02:09,060
distracting you from
the stench of blood and death
39
00:02:09,141 --> 00:02:11,341
that came with his family name.
40
00:02:11,421 --> 00:02:12,540
[door rattles]
41
00:02:13,380 --> 00:02:14,981
Or the friendly local janitor,
42
00:02:15,061 --> 00:02:17,260
always got a smile and wink
for the kiddies.
43
00:02:17,341 --> 00:02:19,820
Some of them say they want to be
like him when they grow up.
44
00:02:22,701 --> 00:02:24,100
[smooches]
45
00:02:26,941 --> 00:02:28,781
Or the man who thought
he was happy enough,
46
00:02:28,861 --> 00:02:30,820
drinking, womanising, getting by.
47
00:02:30,901 --> 00:02:31,901
[moans]
48
00:02:31,980 --> 00:02:35,181
Until he realised he'd never known
what happiness was at all.
49
00:02:37,741 --> 00:02:39,701
[moaning]
50
00:02:39,781 --> 00:02:41,100
[knock at door]
51
00:02:41,181 --> 00:02:42,181
Coming!
52
00:02:42,260 --> 00:02:43,540
[whispers] Oh, shit.
53
00:02:43,621 --> 00:02:44,581
Coming!
54
00:02:44,661 --> 00:02:45,781
Package for a Gloria Meak.
55
00:02:45,861 --> 00:02:47,061
-She doesn't live here.
-Oh.
56
00:02:47,141 --> 00:02:49,141
I mean, she does. Sorry. She does.
57
00:02:49,221 --> 00:02:50,501
She's just not here right now.
58
00:02:50,581 --> 00:02:52,501
Oh, pay no attention to him.
59
00:02:52,581 --> 00:02:54,461
Mince for brains
till he has his first cuppa.
60
00:02:54,540 --> 00:02:55,700
Yeah, my wife's the same.
61
00:02:55,781 --> 00:02:57,221
Oh, no, no, we're not married.
62
00:02:57,301 --> 00:02:58,741
No, we're brother and sister.
63
00:03:00,221 --> 00:03:01,661
What?
64
00:03:01,741 --> 00:03:03,820
It's not weird, is it, us living together?
65
00:03:03,901 --> 00:03:05,661
Especially not in this economic climate.
66
00:03:05,741 --> 00:03:07,901
I'm a priest anyway,
you know, a man of the cloth.
67
00:03:07,980 --> 00:03:10,781
I told you. Mince.
68
00:03:13,021 --> 00:03:14,021
[door thud]
69
00:03:20,461 --> 00:03:21,661
[paper rustling]
70
00:03:23,700 --> 00:03:25,501
What's with you?
71
00:03:25,581 --> 00:03:26,621
Nothing.
72
00:03:40,021 --> 00:03:43,380
[giggling]
73
00:03:44,540 --> 00:03:48,021
As you all know,
tomorrow is a red letter day.
74
00:03:48,100 --> 00:03:49,901
The school inspector calls.
75
00:03:49,980 --> 00:03:50,941
[all sigh]
76
00:03:51,021 --> 00:03:54,181
So, big smiles, friendly faces,
and we'll get through it.
77
00:03:56,420 --> 00:03:58,980
And, er, there is one other thing.
78
00:04:00,540 --> 00:04:05,820
In light of recent solicitor's letters
that I've received,
79
00:04:05,901 --> 00:04:11,501
it seems that our exclusion
of Adam Wiggins
80
00:04:11,581 --> 00:04:14,100
may not have been entirely legal.
81
00:04:14,181 --> 00:04:15,181
You better be joking.
82
00:04:15,260 --> 00:04:16,980
This is shit.
83
00:04:17,060 --> 00:04:18,261
[thud]
84
00:04:18,341 --> 00:04:19,341
[sparkling]
85
00:04:19,420 --> 00:04:20,381
[muffled explosion]
86
00:04:20,461 --> 00:04:22,261
[kid screams]
87
00:04:22,341 --> 00:04:24,021
[screams]
88
00:04:25,381 --> 00:04:28,861
That little fucker comes back,
you'll have a walkout on your hands.
89
00:04:28,941 --> 00:04:30,901
You can't do that,
we've got an inspection.
90
00:04:30,981 --> 00:04:31,821
Absolute joke.
91
00:04:31,901 --> 00:04:34,180
[in Scouse accent]
Seems to me you're doing it all wrong.
92
00:04:34,261 --> 00:04:38,101
Punishing the lad, excluding him,
not going to work.
93
00:04:38,180 --> 00:04:43,541
Now, what you need is a nice little
frilly pink dress and a pair of heels.
94
00:04:43,620 --> 00:04:45,821
Dress up this Adam like a little girl.
95
00:04:45,901 --> 00:04:48,461
Two or three days
tottering round the corridors,
96
00:04:48,541 --> 00:04:51,060
having the shite ripped out of him
by all and sundry,
97
00:04:51,141 --> 00:04:53,541
he'll be humble as pie.
98
00:04:53,620 --> 00:04:54,620
S'all right.
99
00:04:54,701 --> 00:04:56,141
You can thank me later.
100
00:04:58,620 --> 00:05:03,221
Just to remind you, you are PTA.
Not actual staff.
101
00:05:03,301 --> 00:05:05,021
I was just helping,
102
00:05:05,101 --> 00:05:09,261
I've got experience with these things,
kids of me own.
103
00:05:09,341 --> 00:05:14,500
I understand the whole world of education
must seen fascinating and new to you.
104
00:05:14,581 --> 00:05:15,620
What's that mean?
105
00:05:15,701 --> 00:05:18,500
How old were you when you left school?
106
00:05:18,581 --> 00:05:19,701
Exactly.
107
00:05:19,781 --> 00:05:21,940
But this is not a free for all.
108
00:05:22,021 --> 00:05:23,221
And I'm not blind.
109
00:05:23,301 --> 00:05:26,421
I'm well aware of you slithering your
tentacles into places they're not welcome.
110
00:05:26,500 --> 00:05:29,341
You better watch your tone.
111
00:05:29,421 --> 00:05:32,021
And you better watch out
you don't over-step the mark.
112
00:05:32,101 --> 00:05:35,661
'Cause one little word from me
and you're gone.
113
00:05:35,740 --> 00:05:36,981
[mimics pop sound]
114
00:05:37,060 --> 00:05:38,261
Gone with the wind.
115
00:05:39,701 --> 00:05:40,740
[school bell rings]
116
00:05:46,221 --> 00:05:47,701
[music playing]
117
00:05:51,221 --> 00:05:52,421
He's not going to call.
118
00:05:52,500 --> 00:05:53,541
He might.
119
00:05:55,500 --> 00:05:57,141
I know things got a little bit
out of hand, but…
120
00:05:58,341 --> 00:06:01,221
you know, now me and Kassi
have had a time to cool down.
121
00:06:01,301 --> 00:06:03,301
Jamie, he popped in here for a drink
122
00:06:03,380 --> 00:06:05,740
and you tried to beat the shite
out of him.
123
00:06:05,821 --> 00:06:08,781
He's hardly going to be throwing
lunch dates and friend requests
124
00:06:08,861 --> 00:06:10,821
in your direction.
125
00:06:10,901 --> 00:06:13,500
[keypad beeps]
126
00:06:13,581 --> 00:06:14,581
He's not answering my calls.
127
00:06:14,661 --> 00:06:16,060
Because he knows your number.
128
00:06:18,781 --> 00:06:19,901
But he doesn't know mine.
129
00:06:22,820 --> 00:06:24,301
[phone rings and vibrates]
130
00:06:30,141 --> 00:06:31,221
Hello?
131
00:06:34,221 --> 00:06:35,541
It's me, Jamie.
132
00:06:38,541 --> 00:06:40,421
Don't hang up.
133
00:06:40,500 --> 00:06:41,820
Hey, all right, Mimi!
134
00:06:41,901 --> 00:06:43,021
How's it hanging?
135
00:06:44,981 --> 00:06:46,060
Hey!
136
00:06:48,021 --> 00:06:49,940
This place doesn't clean itself, you know.
137
00:06:51,021 --> 00:06:52,500
What are we doing, Frank?
138
00:06:52,581 --> 00:06:55,101
Look at us. We look like dicks.
139
00:06:55,180 --> 00:06:56,221
I don't.
140
00:06:57,380 --> 00:07:01,180
Hey, come on,
you shouldn't let them get you down, kid.
141
00:07:01,261 --> 00:07:02,581
You're a big strong woman.
142
00:07:02,661 --> 00:07:03,661
No, I'm not.
143
00:07:03,740 --> 00:07:04,901
Yes, you are!
144
00:07:04,981 --> 00:07:06,021
Come on!
145
00:07:08,180 --> 00:07:11,260
In fact, I'm going close
the book on this place.
146
00:07:11,341 --> 00:07:13,301
Take them for everything I can.
147
00:07:13,380 --> 00:07:17,581
Show those fuckers what
over-stepping the line really looks like.
148
00:07:17,661 --> 00:07:18,861
Yeah, good for you.
149
00:07:19,901 --> 00:07:23,661
Hey, I've been very impressed by that…
150
00:07:25,101 --> 00:07:28,901
you know, that mushroom industry
that you've got going.
151
00:07:28,981 --> 00:07:31,301
You're a trailblazer, you know.
152
00:07:31,380 --> 00:07:34,260
Amelia Earheart, Marie Curie,
Pocahontas…
153
00:07:34,341 --> 00:07:36,541
I haven't got Hovis stamped on my arse.
154
00:07:36,620 --> 00:07:38,221
You can stop buttering me up, Frank.
155
00:07:38,301 --> 00:07:40,101
What do you want?
156
00:07:40,180 --> 00:07:45,620
Well, seeing that you're doing very well
with this mushroom thing,
157
00:07:45,701 --> 00:07:50,380
maybe tip a few caps this way
to your old friend and neighbour.
158
00:07:55,221 --> 00:07:56,500
Fill your boots, Frank.
159
00:08:01,901 --> 00:08:04,260
Enjoy it while it lasts.
160
00:08:04,341 --> 00:08:08,661
'Cause I'm getting the goldmine,
and these are getting the shaft.
161
00:08:09,861 --> 00:08:11,141
Laters, Frank.
162
00:08:11,221 --> 00:08:12,901
[footsteps pounding]
163
00:08:12,981 --> 00:08:14,421
Yeah, laters!
164
00:08:18,260 --> 00:08:19,940
But you get on all right, as family…
165
00:08:21,141 --> 00:08:22,940
when you finally got
to spend some time together.
166
00:08:23,021 --> 00:08:24,740
I thought she was lovely,
167
00:08:24,820 --> 00:08:26,301
till she opened her mouth.
168
00:08:26,380 --> 00:08:28,461
And he was so drunk,
he thought I was twins.
169
00:08:28,541 --> 00:08:31,141
Oh, come on, Jamie, you're a class act.
What's not to like, eh?
170
00:08:31,221 --> 00:08:32,861
Black eye, couple of bruises.
171
00:08:32,940 --> 00:08:35,141
Jamie, he's agreed to meet you again.
172
00:08:35,220 --> 00:08:38,340
He's coming in for a drink.
Don't over think it.
173
00:08:38,421 --> 00:08:39,501
You know what you should try doing?
174
00:08:39,580 --> 00:08:40,901
Mum, it's all right.
175
00:08:40,980 --> 00:08:41,940
I was just saying.
176
00:08:42,021 --> 00:08:44,741
I don't want this opened up this
to the floor.
177
00:08:44,821 --> 00:08:46,941
I just wanted to hear
from a couple of folk who'd been there.
178
00:08:48,621 --> 00:08:49,741
[glass clanks]
179
00:08:51,301 --> 00:08:53,340
Right, listen up.
180
00:08:53,421 --> 00:08:54,980
My brother's coming in here tonight.
181
00:08:55,061 --> 00:08:56,141
I'm already here, you div.
182
00:08:56,220 --> 00:08:57,821
My other brother!
183
00:08:57,901 --> 00:08:59,980
And I want to show him
this place isn't a fucking cesspool.
184
00:09:01,301 --> 00:09:06,100
No fighting, no drugs, no pissing,
and no puking.
185
00:09:06,181 --> 00:09:07,181
Have you got that?
186
00:09:07,261 --> 00:09:09,381
It's you he needs to worry about.
187
00:09:09,460 --> 00:09:11,861
[laughter]
188
00:09:18,821 --> 00:09:20,621
No, it's good to laugh.
189
00:09:20,701 --> 00:09:23,781
A pub full of happy people, joking about,
you've got the right idea, John.
190
00:09:23,860 --> 00:09:25,581
So go on, laugh again.
191
00:09:25,661 --> 00:09:26,661
[laughs nervously]
192
00:09:26,741 --> 00:09:29,261
I want to hear you.
A big old fucking chuckle.
193
00:09:29,340 --> 00:09:31,781
[laughs loudly and nervously]
194
00:09:34,061 --> 00:09:35,061
Oh, you can do better than that.
195
00:09:35,141 --> 00:09:36,781
[intermittent laugh]
196
00:09:36,860 --> 00:09:37,941
All of you!
197
00:09:39,541 --> 00:09:40,501
I didn't say stop.
198
00:09:40,581 --> 00:09:41,781
[laughter]
199
00:09:41,860 --> 00:09:43,860
Come, on.
Laugh it up, you fucking fuzzballs.
200
00:09:43,941 --> 00:09:45,261
[all laughing forcefully]
201
00:09:45,340 --> 00:09:47,181
All together now!
202
00:09:47,261 --> 00:09:49,061
[forceful laughter]
203
00:09:57,381 --> 00:10:00,181
Computer room,
at the back, first corridor.
204
00:10:00,261 --> 00:10:02,340
They got a brand new server,
whatever the fuck that is.
205
00:10:02,421 --> 00:10:06,821
So, go in after midnight,
rip it out, sell it on.
206
00:10:06,901 --> 00:10:08,021
Right?
207
00:10:08,100 --> 00:10:09,261
You got masks?
208
00:10:09,340 --> 00:10:11,301
Don't want any of this coming back to me.
209
00:10:11,381 --> 00:10:12,460
Right then.
210
00:10:13,581 --> 00:10:14,860
And don't smash the place up.
211
00:10:14,941 --> 00:10:17,261
Some of the kids have worked quite hard
on their projects and…
212
00:10:19,741 --> 00:10:20,860
Just keep it clean.
213
00:10:20,941 --> 00:10:22,220
[keys rattling]
214
00:10:22,301 --> 00:10:24,021
[police siren wails]
215
00:10:29,381 --> 00:10:30,701
[giggling]
216
00:10:35,141 --> 00:10:37,381
[Derilee] Are you sure
about us being here?
217
00:10:37,460 --> 00:10:41,021
Oh, yeah,
'cause being at home's so much better,
218
00:10:41,100 --> 00:10:43,701
with Aidan tramping around
with his tag on,
219
00:10:43,781 --> 00:10:48,100
the little one mewling and whining
all the fucking time.
220
00:10:48,181 --> 00:10:51,220
[Sherilee] It's just
we always hated school.
221
00:10:51,301 --> 00:10:52,821
[Derilee] Worst years of our lives.
222
00:10:52,901 --> 00:10:54,460
[Frank] I promise you.
223
00:10:54,541 --> 00:11:00,541
After this evening's over, you'll think
of school in a whole different light.
224
00:11:00,621 --> 00:11:02,261
We're not pissing on you, Frank.
225
00:11:03,501 --> 00:11:04,901
What?
226
00:11:04,980 --> 00:11:05,941
Eh?
227
00:11:06,021 --> 00:11:07,141
What's pissing got to do with it?
228
00:11:07,220 --> 00:11:11,301
Just whenever you start talking like this,
usually ends with me pissing on you.
229
00:11:11,381 --> 00:11:13,781
That's not strictly true.
230
00:11:13,860 --> 00:11:15,181
But let's not rule anything out.
231
00:11:15,261 --> 00:11:17,860
You know, what happens in school,
stays in school.
232
00:11:19,061 --> 00:11:21,501
[clock ticking]
233
00:11:21,581 --> 00:11:23,301
[indistinct chatter]
234
00:11:23,381 --> 00:11:25,061
He's not coming.
235
00:11:25,141 --> 00:11:26,740
Maybe he's just running late.
236
00:11:26,821 --> 00:11:28,021
Maybe it's for the best.
237
00:11:30,740 --> 00:11:33,220
It's not like
you can share life stories, is it?
238
00:11:33,301 --> 00:11:36,021
"Oh, I tell you what,
let's talk about the time I was banged up,
239
00:11:36,100 --> 00:11:38,100
or the time I offed three fellas,
240
00:11:38,181 --> 00:11:41,740
or maybe the time when I dug up
the corpse of some guy's dad,
241
00:11:41,821 --> 00:11:43,621
because he had his sticky fingers
on my missus."
242
00:11:43,701 --> 00:11:46,860
[Karen] Shane, let's play
shut-the-fuck-up. You go first.
243
00:11:46,941 --> 00:11:48,021
[laughter]
244
00:11:48,100 --> 00:11:50,621
-Just saying.
-I'm going to clear up.
245
00:11:56,860 --> 00:11:58,421
[panting]
246
00:11:58,501 --> 00:12:00,301
[moaning]
247
00:12:00,381 --> 00:12:02,340
[sirens in the distance]
248
00:12:03,460 --> 00:12:05,181
[metal clangs]
249
00:12:10,941 --> 00:12:11,980
Hey.
250
00:12:12,061 --> 00:12:13,661
[grunts]
251
00:12:13,740 --> 00:12:17,061
-Action Man, easy, easy.
-Shit. Sorry, mate.
252
00:12:18,621 --> 00:12:21,061
[Kassi] Karen told me
you were out here shifting crates.
253
00:12:21,141 --> 00:12:22,141
I know it's late.
254
00:12:22,220 --> 00:12:23,460
We're closing up
but we can still get a couple of beers.
255
00:12:23,541 --> 00:12:24,901
How about tomorrow?
256
00:12:24,980 --> 00:12:26,021
Day out.
257
00:12:26,100 --> 00:12:27,220
Banley Manor?
258
00:12:27,301 --> 00:12:29,740
Tam's off school for a few days,
I have to look after him anyway.
259
00:12:29,821 --> 00:12:30,901
Why Banley?
260
00:12:32,381 --> 00:12:33,541
Is this to do with me dad?
261
00:12:35,821 --> 00:12:36,821
Yes.
262
00:12:36,901 --> 00:12:42,061
Yes, it is.
That's where his ashes were scattered.
263
00:12:44,340 --> 00:12:45,381
Tomorrow then?
264
00:12:49,821 --> 00:12:52,301
-Got a taxi waiting.
-Tomorrow.
265
00:12:57,301 --> 00:12:58,381
[shushes]
266
00:13:04,501 --> 00:13:05,821
[door closes]
267
00:13:05,901 --> 00:13:07,381
-They're gone.
-Yeah.
268
00:13:07,460 --> 00:13:09,541
[both panting]
269
00:13:14,860 --> 00:13:16,421
[papers rustling]
270
00:13:16,501 --> 00:13:18,781
-Frank…
-Almost done.
271
00:13:18,860 --> 00:13:20,340
I dunno about this.
272
00:13:20,421 --> 00:13:21,901
Makes me look like a prossie.
273
00:13:21,980 --> 00:13:23,740
No!
274
00:13:23,821 --> 00:13:26,381
You look like a painted lady.
275
00:13:27,941 --> 00:13:29,261
[both laugh]
276
00:13:33,181 --> 00:13:34,701
Don't that look like Siobhan?
277
00:13:34,781 --> 00:13:37,340
Fuck, it does.
To the corn-rows and everything.
278
00:13:37,421 --> 00:13:39,181
[Sherilee] Talented little bastards.
279
00:13:39,261 --> 00:13:41,141
They're not talented!
280
00:13:41,220 --> 00:13:44,141
This, this is talent.
281
00:13:44,220 --> 00:13:47,261
Rembrandt'd be spinning in his tomb.
282
00:13:47,340 --> 00:13:50,220
This stuff, this is rubbish.
283
00:13:50,301 --> 00:13:52,541
It's just bollocks, innit?
284
00:13:52,620 --> 00:13:54,301
Fingers like penises…
285
00:13:54,381 --> 00:13:55,541
[imaginary laughter]
286
00:13:55,620 --> 00:13:58,100
…smiling faces.
287
00:13:58,181 --> 00:14:00,661
[Sherilee] Come on.
Get the little hole of you fuck you.
288
00:14:00,740 --> 00:14:03,740
Yeah, that's kids for you.
289
00:14:03,821 --> 00:14:05,781
They see things differently.
290
00:14:05,860 --> 00:14:06,901
Blue sky.
291
00:14:08,421 --> 00:14:10,740
Big old Mr. Sunshine.
292
00:14:10,821 --> 00:14:13,740
[imaginary kids laughter]
293
00:14:13,821 --> 00:14:16,781
Everything's beautiful.
294
00:14:17,781 --> 00:14:20,460
Everything's just perfect.
295
00:14:22,740 --> 00:14:24,701
Frankie!
296
00:14:24,781 --> 00:14:26,100
Frankie!
297
00:14:27,740 --> 00:14:29,821
[imaginary spooky laughter]
298
00:14:33,740 --> 00:14:35,301
-Are you looking at me?
-Wait, this is…
299
00:14:35,381 --> 00:14:36,980
-This is important.
-Look at me, Frank.
300
00:14:37,061 --> 00:14:38,340
Here I am, Frank!
301
00:14:38,421 --> 00:14:39,821
Frank!
302
00:14:40,980 --> 00:14:44,181
This is fucking brilliant.
303
00:14:44,261 --> 00:14:47,220
It's like a moment.
304
00:14:47,301 --> 00:14:49,460
[wind chimes]
305
00:14:49,541 --> 00:14:51,261
[child screams]
306
00:14:51,340 --> 00:14:53,781
No. No, don't change.
307
00:14:53,860 --> 00:14:54,860
[child screams]
308
00:14:54,941 --> 00:14:58,581
Stay the same, don't grow old,
309
00:14:58,661 --> 00:15:03,381
'cause your fucking kids
just fucking up and away.
310
00:15:04,460 --> 00:15:05,860
Frank!
311
00:15:05,941 --> 00:15:07,901
[hissing]
312
00:15:07,980 --> 00:15:09,581
[growling]
313
00:15:10,541 --> 00:15:12,661
[screams]
314
00:15:12,740 --> 00:15:13,901
Frank!
315
00:15:13,980 --> 00:15:15,141
[whiplash
316
00:15:15,220 --> 00:15:16,980
Are you looking at me now, Frank?
317
00:15:17,061 --> 00:15:18,021
[screams]
318
00:15:18,100 --> 00:15:19,740
Have you finished?!
319
00:15:19,821 --> 00:15:23,061
No! I'm not fucking finished!
320
00:15:23,141 --> 00:15:25,220
[screams]
321
00:15:28,860 --> 00:15:30,100
[whiplash]
322
00:15:30,181 --> 00:15:32,821
[screams]
323
00:15:35,181 --> 00:15:38,141
[spooky piano music playing]
324
00:15:54,340 --> 00:15:57,141
You fucking leech!
325
00:15:57,220 --> 00:15:59,220
Iraq not enough for you?
326
00:16:00,581 --> 00:16:02,901
I am not fucking finished!
327
00:16:17,301 --> 00:16:21,541
[panting]
328
00:16:27,541 --> 00:16:29,901
[school bell rings]
329
00:16:33,581 --> 00:16:35,781
[machine buzzing]
330
00:16:37,740 --> 00:16:39,500
-All set?
-Yeah. Think so.
331
00:16:42,701 --> 00:16:43,701
Packed lunch.
332
00:16:43,781 --> 00:16:45,181
Just some sandwiches.
333
00:16:45,261 --> 00:16:47,821
You ever been to Banley Manor before?
334
00:16:47,901 --> 00:16:49,340
Oh, God, it's boring.
335
00:16:49,421 --> 00:16:51,860
Went there years ago on a school trip.
336
00:16:51,941 --> 00:16:52,901
Connor might enjoy it, though.
337
00:16:52,980 --> 00:16:54,141
Don't think you have to come.
338
00:16:55,181 --> 00:16:56,661
I can do this.
339
00:16:56,740 --> 00:16:58,620
Like I said, boring for me.
340
00:17:00,061 --> 00:17:01,781
But for Connor, though…
341
00:17:01,860 --> 00:17:03,181
You OK?
342
00:17:03,261 --> 00:17:04,461
But I'm not sharing my sandwiches.
343
00:17:06,660 --> 00:17:08,781
Just go and get some stuff together.
344
00:17:08,860 --> 00:17:10,221
He's bringing his kid too.
345
00:17:12,100 --> 00:17:13,900
My nephew, I suppose.
346
00:17:13,981 --> 00:17:15,221
Have you got him something?
347
00:17:15,301 --> 00:17:16,380
What?
348
00:17:16,461 --> 00:17:17,860
You think I should get him a present?
349
00:17:17,940 --> 00:17:19,860
I dunno, it'd be polite?
350
00:17:19,940 --> 00:17:21,021
I mean, these middle classes…
351
00:17:21,100 --> 00:17:22,701
Oh, that'd be great,
showing up empty-handed!
352
00:17:22,781 --> 00:17:23,860
He'll think I'm a right fucking loser.
353
00:17:23,940 --> 00:17:26,221
We're meeting him at 11,
you haven't got time!
354
00:17:27,581 --> 00:17:29,821
[indistinct chatter]
355
00:17:32,501 --> 00:17:34,501
[sounds echoing]
356
00:17:35,621 --> 00:17:37,741
Eh, what's going on?
357
00:17:37,821 --> 00:17:40,701
It's Christmas, sir. Christmas morning.
358
00:17:40,781 --> 00:17:41,821
Seriously?
359
00:17:41,900 --> 00:17:44,061
Nah. Assembly in the hall, innit?
360
00:17:45,741 --> 00:17:47,821
Coo-ee, Frank!
361
00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:48,981
Look here, Frank!
362
00:17:49,061 --> 00:17:50,461
Let me lick your lollipop, Frank!
363
00:17:50,541 --> 00:17:53,660
[spooky laughs]
364
00:17:55,420 --> 00:17:57,701
Oh! Eh-up, eh-up!
365
00:17:57,781 --> 00:17:59,581
Eh-up, janny coming through!
366
00:17:59,660 --> 00:18:00,981
Janny coming through!
367
00:18:01,061 --> 00:18:02,420
-[thud]
-[door bells dings]
368
00:18:04,861 --> 00:18:06,221
[snoring]
369
00:18:07,420 --> 00:18:08,821
Frank, I'm stuck!
370
00:18:08,900 --> 00:18:10,180
Just jump.
371
00:18:10,261 --> 00:18:11,381
I can't.
372
00:18:11,461 --> 00:18:13,660
I've got impetigo.
373
00:18:13,741 --> 00:18:14,821
What?
374
00:18:14,900 --> 00:18:17,940
Look, the place is going to be crawling
with kids and teachers in a minute.
375
00:18:18,021 --> 00:18:20,301
I'll catch you, trust me.
376
00:18:20,381 --> 00:18:21,541
Trust me!
377
00:18:21,621 --> 00:18:23,420
[school bell rings]
378
00:18:23,501 --> 00:18:24,660
[ropes twirling]
379
00:18:24,741 --> 00:18:25,700
[thud]
380
00:18:25,781 --> 00:18:27,581
Ah!
381
00:18:27,660 --> 00:18:29,660
Oh, fucking hell.
382
00:18:29,741 --> 00:18:31,301
Ah, Jesus.
383
00:18:31,381 --> 00:18:32,501
Oh!
384
00:18:33,621 --> 00:18:36,420
Come on, up and at 'em.
385
00:18:36,501 --> 00:18:38,141
You said you'd catch me!
386
00:18:38,221 --> 00:18:41,981
I've got bruises, more bruises.
387
00:18:42,061 --> 00:18:44,581
Fucking hell, Frank,
you throw like a girl.
388
00:18:49,180 --> 00:18:50,741
I haven't got time for this.
389
00:18:50,821 --> 00:18:52,501
[school bell rings]
390
00:18:52,581 --> 00:18:53,940
Oh, shit.
391
00:18:55,940 --> 00:18:57,781
[door opens]
392
00:19:05,420 --> 00:19:06,420
You got any Frisbees?
393
00:19:06,501 --> 00:19:08,141
I don't sell that kind of stuff here.
You know that.
394
00:19:08,221 --> 00:19:09,461
Have you got anything similar?
395
00:19:09,541 --> 00:19:10,861
Jamie, I don't deal drugs. All right?
396
00:19:10,940 --> 00:19:12,741
Bet he does. This place has to be a front.
397
00:19:12,821 --> 00:19:14,221
It's not a bloody codeword.
It's a Frisbee!
398
00:19:14,301 --> 00:19:16,261
It's an object you throw and catch.
399
00:19:16,341 --> 00:19:19,141
Oh, right. Frisbee.
400
00:19:19,221 --> 00:19:21,420
No,
I also don't sell that kind of thing here.
401
00:19:21,501 --> 00:19:22,940
Here.
402
00:19:23,021 --> 00:19:24,581
I'm in a rush. I can't be late.
So how much?
403
00:19:24,660 --> 00:19:25,781
Just take it, man.
404
00:19:26,900 --> 00:19:27,940
[door slams]
405
00:19:32,141 --> 00:19:33,581
Biscay.
406
00:19:33,660 --> 00:19:38,541
East or North West, four or five.
407
00:19:38,621 --> 00:19:41,341
Slight or moderate.
408
00:19:41,420 --> 00:19:43,301
Mainly fair.
409
00:19:43,381 --> 00:19:47,101
Good, occasionally very poor.
410
00:19:47,180 --> 00:19:48,981
Trafalgar.
411
00:19:49,061 --> 00:19:50,381
Variable southerly…
412
00:19:50,461 --> 00:19:51,420
[whispers] Frank!
413
00:19:51,501 --> 00:19:53,700
…three or four.
414
00:19:53,781 --> 00:19:55,940
Occasionally five.
415
00:19:56,021 --> 00:20:00,261
Slight or moderate, fair, good.
416
00:20:01,581 --> 00:20:04,621
Well, that concludes
today's shipping forecast.
417
00:20:04,700 --> 00:20:05,821
Fucking hell.
418
00:20:05,900 --> 00:20:09,381
I'd like to welcome someone back
into the fold.
419
00:20:10,861 --> 00:20:12,581
And I'm sure that once you've heard
420
00:20:12,660 --> 00:20:18,061
what Adam Wiggins has to say,
421
00:20:18,141 --> 00:20:22,861
I'm sure that you'll agree
he deserves a second chance.
422
00:20:22,940 --> 00:20:24,101
Adam?
423
00:20:24,180 --> 00:20:25,221
[door opens]
424
00:20:28,341 --> 00:20:29,781
[door closes]
425
00:20:39,461 --> 00:20:40,501
[clears throat]
426
00:20:46,381 --> 00:20:48,180
No way.
427
00:20:48,261 --> 00:20:49,741
No, please. Please, please.
428
00:20:49,821 --> 00:20:51,261
Not again. Oh, come on.
429
00:20:52,381 --> 00:20:53,341
No.
430
00:20:53,420 --> 00:20:54,821
[kids shout as they leave]
431
00:20:59,381 --> 00:21:00,341
You're not dismissed!
432
00:21:00,420 --> 00:21:03,221
Community, you've got to pull together,
haven't you?
433
00:21:04,821 --> 00:21:06,301
Go Scargill!
434
00:21:07,741 --> 00:21:09,061
Outside!
435
00:21:09,141 --> 00:21:10,221
Great!
436
00:21:11,781 --> 00:21:12,861
Just great!
437
00:21:13,900 --> 00:21:15,101
Go on, fight the system.
438
00:21:15,180 --> 00:21:16,381
Solidaritnost.
439
00:21:20,141 --> 00:21:21,660
[splash]
440
00:21:30,581 --> 00:21:31,981
Shouldn't you be in school?
441
00:21:32,061 --> 00:21:33,341
There was a walk-out.
442
00:21:33,420 --> 00:21:36,221
There's only like
3 teachers and 40 kids left.
443
00:21:36,301 --> 00:21:37,581
When?
444
00:21:37,660 --> 00:21:39,141
In assembly.
445
00:21:39,221 --> 00:21:41,660
Heard them say
they'll probably shut the school down now.
446
00:21:44,581 --> 00:21:46,261
Hang on a minute, love.
447
00:21:46,341 --> 00:21:47,381
What are you doing, Miss?
448
00:21:47,460 --> 00:21:49,341
Protecting my investment.
449
00:21:52,301 --> 00:21:55,861
Ah, so, how are things at, uh…
450
00:21:56,981 --> 00:21:58,021
um…
451
00:21:59,221 --> 00:22:00,621
inspector HQ?
452
00:22:00,700 --> 00:22:02,420
Right! Let us begin.
453
00:22:02,501 --> 00:22:04,221
English.
454
00:22:04,301 --> 00:22:06,420
Oh, how about geography instead?
455
00:22:06,501 --> 00:22:09,141
Mr Farman's class is fascinating.
456
00:22:09,221 --> 00:22:10,261
Oh, would you like to meet…
457
00:22:10,341 --> 00:22:12,261
Year four English.
458
00:22:12,341 --> 00:22:14,420
Actually I think the year four teacher
might be off.
459
00:22:14,501 --> 00:22:17,141
Well, then you'll have
a substitute teacher, won't you?
460
00:22:17,221 --> 00:22:19,501
Or are you so incompetent
you can't even manage that?
461
00:22:19,581 --> 00:22:22,501
Wait, look,
there's something I need to tell you.
462
00:22:22,581 --> 00:22:26,900
Of course, if I was to tell you
the next story we were looking at featured
463
00:22:26,981 --> 00:22:31,700
murder, paranoia, insanity,
revenge and ghosts,
464
00:22:31,781 --> 00:22:34,101
you'd probably think
I was talking about an X-rated oeuvre
465
00:22:34,180 --> 00:22:37,341
of Mr. Tarantino or Mr. Stallone, but no.
466
00:22:37,420 --> 00:22:41,501
It's called Hamlet and it's by a bright
young gun named Mr. William Shakespeare.
467
00:22:41,581 --> 00:22:42,741
Anybody know him?
468
00:22:47,061 --> 00:22:48,261
Ah, gentlemen.
469
00:22:48,341 --> 00:22:50,541
Please, take a seat.
470
00:22:53,541 --> 00:22:55,221
OK.
471
00:22:55,301 --> 00:22:57,141
OK, so, where was I?
472
00:22:57,221 --> 00:22:58,381
Hamlet, Hamlet.
473
00:23:02,021 --> 00:23:03,660
It warms the very sickness in my heart,
474
00:23:03,741 --> 00:23:05,741
that I shall live
and tell him to his teeth…
475
00:23:06,981 --> 00:23:08,741
"Thus diest thou."
476
00:23:11,940 --> 00:23:13,261
Slightly carried away there,
477
00:23:13,341 --> 00:23:17,061
but everybody open your books,
turn to page one, hang onto your hats.
478
00:23:17,141 --> 00:23:20,101
'Cause it's Hamlet time.
479
00:23:20,180 --> 00:23:23,180
Right now,
your career is bent over the table,
480
00:23:23,261 --> 00:23:25,221
trousers down, cheeks splayed,
481
00:23:25,301 --> 00:23:29,940
about the get the arse fucking
to end all arse fuckings.
482
00:23:30,021 --> 00:23:32,621
You're too old to re-train
for anything else,
483
00:23:32,700 --> 00:23:37,541
and no other school will touch you
with the proverbial dirty barge pole.
484
00:23:37,621 --> 00:23:39,940
So, I'm your only hope.
485
00:23:41,180 --> 00:23:45,261
Now, I've called in favours
from friends, good friends,
486
00:23:45,341 --> 00:23:49,420
to bail you out of your own mess.
487
00:23:49,501 --> 00:23:51,821
I just hope
I haven't over-stepped the mark.
488
00:23:52,861 --> 00:23:55,180
Everything all right, Mr. Banbury?
489
00:23:55,261 --> 00:23:56,221
Everything's fine.
490
00:23:56,301 --> 00:23:58,541
Then pay attention.
491
00:23:58,621 --> 00:24:00,141
You might learn something.
492
00:24:02,621 --> 00:24:03,900
My liege.
493
00:24:03,981 --> 00:24:09,261
Art, chemistry,
physical education, mathematics.
494
00:24:09,341 --> 00:24:15,301
Oh, and there was recently
a big investment in a school server.
495
00:24:15,381 --> 00:24:18,101
I would very much like to see
that up and running.
496
00:24:18,180 --> 00:24:22,900
Computer room, at the back,
brand new server, worth thousands.
497
00:24:22,981 --> 00:24:25,221
Rip it out, sell it on.
498
00:24:27,381 --> 00:24:28,821
No problem at all.
499
00:24:35,420 --> 00:24:39,741
I need you to get that server back to me
A-S-A-fuckin'-P.
500
00:24:40,660 --> 00:24:43,061
I don't care
if you've got football tonight.
501
00:24:44,700 --> 00:24:48,061
Billy, do you want to spend the rest of
your married life sleeping on the couch?
502
00:24:48,141 --> 00:24:49,341
[air hissing]
503
00:24:50,940 --> 00:24:51,900
Right.
504
00:24:51,981 --> 00:24:53,101
Thank you.
505
00:24:54,460 --> 00:24:56,101
You. Here!
506
00:24:56,180 --> 00:24:57,261
Now!
507
00:25:00,301 --> 00:25:01,660
Bet you're happy with yourself.
508
00:25:01,741 --> 00:25:03,581
School's in chaos.
509
00:25:03,660 --> 00:25:06,180
Most of the teachers have buggered off.
510
00:25:06,261 --> 00:25:09,501
Come on, let's see if you're still smiling
when I'm done with ya.
511
00:25:11,621 --> 00:25:16,501
You might have half the school shittin'
themselves every time you look round,
512
00:25:16,581 --> 00:25:20,180
might have the teachers on the run,
but I'll give you this.
513
00:25:20,261 --> 00:25:23,141
You do scrub up pretty well.
514
00:25:23,220 --> 00:25:27,341
Now, you totter along to the kitchen
to help out,
515
00:25:27,420 --> 00:25:31,420
for all those lovely dinner ladies
walked out when you walked in.
516
00:25:31,501 --> 00:25:33,420
And, eh, son?
517
00:25:33,501 --> 00:25:37,021
Make sure that food's de-fuckin'-licious,
Michelin star,
518
00:25:37,101 --> 00:25:39,700
or you'll be walkin' round
in my knickers and bra.
519
00:25:40,621 --> 00:25:42,180
[door opens]
520
00:25:42,261 --> 00:25:43,341
[door closes]
521
00:25:45,660 --> 00:25:47,460
[Jamie] So, I guess you come here a lot…
522
00:25:49,541 --> 00:25:50,700
to visit Dad's ashes?
523
00:25:52,501 --> 00:25:57,660
Yeah, yeah,
we make the trip every week or so.
524
00:25:57,741 --> 00:25:58,741
It's boring.
525
00:25:58,821 --> 00:26:00,101
Doesn't have to be boring.
526
00:26:00,180 --> 00:26:02,180
Jamie's brought you summat.
Give it to him.
527
00:26:02,261 --> 00:26:03,341
This?
528
00:26:05,501 --> 00:26:07,261
No, no, I didn't bring this to play with.
529
00:26:07,341 --> 00:26:08,420
It's, um…
530
00:26:10,180 --> 00:26:12,180
It's some kid's birthday on our street.
531
00:26:13,541 --> 00:26:15,021
He's mentally deficient.
532
00:26:15,101 --> 00:26:17,261
That's really good of you, mate.
533
00:26:19,900 --> 00:26:21,180
[funny music playing]
534
00:26:33,700 --> 00:26:36,821
These are a little basic, aren't they?
535
00:26:36,900 --> 00:26:39,821
At this level, they really should be up
to a higher standard.
536
00:26:43,261 --> 00:26:45,341
[gibberish]
537
00:26:46,180 --> 00:26:50,501
In order to draw like the child,
one must think like the child, ya?
538
00:26:51,900 --> 00:26:53,861
They are children.
539
00:26:53,940 --> 00:26:58,021
Oh, you are a man who understands art.
540
00:27:00,180 --> 00:27:01,220
Well, I…
541
00:27:03,061 --> 00:27:05,341
Well, I do dabble, yes.
542
00:27:05,420 --> 00:27:07,180
[phone rings]
543
00:27:07,261 --> 00:27:10,420
Yeah, Yeah!
You do dabble.
544
00:27:11,341 --> 00:27:13,261
Billy, give me some good news.
545
00:27:13,341 --> 00:27:15,180
They've sold the server on already.
546
00:27:15,261 --> 00:27:17,141
The problem is it's to another school.
547
00:27:17,220 --> 00:27:19,420
Look, just delay your man. I'm on it.
548
00:27:22,021 --> 00:27:23,180
Right, I'll wait here.
549
00:27:23,261 --> 00:27:24,261
It's your wife.
550
00:27:24,341 --> 00:27:26,301
Well, I can't just walk
into a strange school, can I?
551
00:27:26,381 --> 00:27:27,381
Everyone'll think I'm a paedo.
552
00:27:27,460 --> 00:27:29,101
You can't hang
around the school gates either.
553
00:27:29,180 --> 00:27:31,781
You'll look even more paedotastic,
so grow some.
554
00:27:34,301 --> 00:27:35,581
[alarm blares]
555
00:27:35,660 --> 00:27:38,700
[kids shouting]
556
00:27:42,460 --> 00:27:43,700
Right, which one's the server?
557
00:27:43,781 --> 00:27:45,061
That big thing there.
558
00:27:48,180 --> 00:27:49,821
Maybe you should have unplugged it first.
559
00:27:52,781 --> 00:27:55,101
Has everyone just ran off and left you?
560
00:27:55,180 --> 00:27:57,101
Animals, man, the lot of 'em.
561
00:27:57,180 --> 00:27:58,381
-Billy.
-It's wrong.
562
00:27:58,460 --> 00:27:59,541
The wheels.
563
00:28:02,220 --> 00:28:04,581
We're going to hell, we're going to hell,
we're going to hell!
564
00:28:07,700 --> 00:28:11,141
["NORGAARD" playing]
565
00:28:28,021 --> 00:28:29,660
Oh!
566
00:28:31,341 --> 00:28:32,660
["NORGAARD" continuous]
567
00:28:34,141 --> 00:28:35,861
[kids shouting]
568
00:28:38,861 --> 00:28:40,660
[indistinct chatter]
569
00:28:43,420 --> 00:28:44,980
[indistinct chatter]
570
00:29:00,101 --> 00:29:01,180
Go, go!
571
00:29:10,741 --> 00:29:12,660
So, dad…
572
00:29:12,741 --> 00:29:13,821
Our dad.
573
00:29:16,220 --> 00:29:17,501
Where d'you scatter the ashes?
574
00:29:25,061 --> 00:29:26,741
Over the flowerbed.
575
00:29:26,821 --> 00:29:28,501
It's what he wanted.
576
00:29:28,581 --> 00:29:30,741
He used to sit here on the bench.
577
00:29:30,821 --> 00:29:32,420
He loved it here.
578
00:29:33,660 --> 00:29:35,301
I suppose I should go and say something.
579
00:29:51,581 --> 00:29:52,700
[sighs]
580
00:29:55,141 --> 00:29:56,821
I have no fuckin' idea
what I'm doing here.
581
00:30:00,501 --> 00:30:02,341
I mean, you're a pile of ashes
in a flowerbed.
582
00:30:02,420 --> 00:30:03,501
You obviously can't hear me.
583
00:30:04,700 --> 00:30:05,741
Are you exclusive?
584
00:30:07,460 --> 00:30:08,940
You and the big lad?
585
00:30:09,021 --> 00:30:13,021
'Cause I ain't got a girlfriend
at the moment and I can be…
586
00:30:14,621 --> 00:30:15,700
very discreet.
587
00:30:18,180 --> 00:30:19,460
Blah, blah, blah.
588
00:30:19,541 --> 00:30:21,741
Talking to a fucking flowerbed.
589
00:30:21,821 --> 00:30:24,220
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
590
00:30:27,101 --> 00:30:28,180
So, uh…
591
00:30:29,861 --> 00:30:32,261
Yeah, I hope you would
have been proud of me.
592
00:30:33,381 --> 00:30:34,821
It's unlikely but I hope so.
593
00:30:37,220 --> 00:30:38,341
Nice one, mate.
594
00:30:46,581 --> 00:30:48,861
[sighs]
595
00:30:48,940 --> 00:30:50,021
Late for school.
596
00:30:51,101 --> 00:30:52,220
There's punishment for that.
597
00:30:52,301 --> 00:30:55,261
Mmm, I was kind of hoping there would be.
598
00:30:58,061 --> 00:31:01,341
Just pay the fucking bills on time,
you alcoholic twatbag.
599
00:31:01,420 --> 00:31:02,420
All right, Mimes?
600
00:31:02,501 --> 00:31:03,821
No, we're not all right.
601
00:31:03,900 --> 00:31:05,980
Does anyone know anything about computers?
602
00:31:06,061 --> 00:31:07,180
Yeah, I know a little bit.
603
00:31:07,261 --> 00:31:09,220
Good, because we've got
about three minutes
604
00:31:09,301 --> 00:31:10,781
to get this server up and running
605
00:31:10,861 --> 00:31:12,980
before the inspector
gets to the computer room
606
00:31:13,061 --> 00:31:16,381
and I've no fuckin' idea
what a server actually does.
607
00:31:16,460 --> 00:31:17,501
Come on.
608
00:31:19,741 --> 00:31:21,420
No, no, other cable.
609
00:31:23,381 --> 00:31:25,940
You don't think she suspects anything,
do you?
610
00:31:26,021 --> 00:31:27,660
Apart from you being an alkie
who can't pay your bills on time?
611
00:31:27,741 --> 00:31:28,700
No.
612
00:31:28,781 --> 00:31:30,541
Second time this week
we've almost been caught.
613
00:31:30,621 --> 00:31:32,141
You don't think
we're one of those couples who, you know?
614
00:31:32,220 --> 00:31:34,180
Get off on danger?
615
00:31:34,261 --> 00:31:35,900
Nah.
616
00:31:35,980 --> 00:31:39,261
In fact, it makes me even more frustrated.
617
00:31:39,341 --> 00:31:40,821
I want to do normal things.
618
00:31:40,900 --> 00:31:42,061
Why don't we, then?
619
00:31:42,141 --> 00:31:44,420
Tonight. Grand Hotel. Meal, get drunk.
620
00:31:45,900 --> 00:31:46,940
It's weird, isn't it?
621
00:31:48,541 --> 00:31:51,301
It just feels right.
622
00:31:51,381 --> 00:31:52,740
Yeah.
623
00:31:52,821 --> 00:31:53,900
It does that.
624
00:31:53,980 --> 00:31:56,660
[footsteps approaching]
625
00:31:56,740 --> 00:31:57,740
Everything good?
626
00:31:57,821 --> 00:31:58,781
-Yeah.
-Yeah, yeah.
627
00:31:58,861 --> 00:31:59,821
[servers whizzing]
628
00:31:59,900 --> 00:32:01,301
Never been better.
629
00:32:01,381 --> 00:32:03,621
OK, so we have lift off.
630
00:32:05,861 --> 00:32:07,341
[keyboard clacking]
631
00:32:07,420 --> 00:32:08,501
[strikes keys repeatedly]
632
00:32:08,581 --> 00:32:09,621
[sighs] Come on.
633
00:32:09,700 --> 00:32:10,940
Oh.
634
00:32:12,821 --> 00:32:13,900
Yeah.
635
00:32:17,581 --> 00:32:18,660
Oh!
636
00:32:20,781 --> 00:32:22,621
[indistinct speech]
637
00:32:23,940 --> 00:32:26,301
Just another hour and we're in the clear.
638
00:32:26,381 --> 00:32:28,621
[indistinct speech]
639
00:32:28,700 --> 00:32:30,740
You're really into all this, aren't you?
640
00:32:30,821 --> 00:32:34,460
The school, the way
the kids look up to you, the teachers.
641
00:32:34,541 --> 00:32:37,261
It's called protecting your investment.
642
00:32:37,341 --> 00:32:38,700
You sure that's all it is?
643
00:32:38,781 --> 00:32:40,301
Course I'm fuckin' sure.
644
00:32:40,381 --> 00:32:42,700
These corridors are paved with gold
645
00:32:42,781 --> 00:32:44,581
and it's all going
straight into my pocket.
646
00:32:44,660 --> 00:32:45,861
All right.
647
00:32:45,940 --> 00:32:48,180
If anyone's too into this, it's your Dom.
648
00:32:48,261 --> 00:32:49,541
Yeah.
649
00:32:49,621 --> 00:32:51,301
A real showman, that one.
650
00:32:51,381 --> 00:32:52,781
[indistinct speech]
651
00:32:52,861 --> 00:32:55,501
He just loves pretending
to be somebody else.
652
00:32:59,101 --> 00:33:00,980
[indistinct speech]
653
00:33:04,781 --> 00:33:07,141
Is there a union we can join or something?
654
00:33:07,220 --> 00:33:10,740
Lil, you do realise
we're not real teachers, right?
655
00:33:10,821 --> 00:33:13,021
Well, you might not be a real teacher.
656
00:33:25,581 --> 00:33:27,180
Pizza?
657
00:33:27,261 --> 00:33:28,660
Really?
658
00:33:28,740 --> 00:33:30,541
Well, it covers four of the…
659
00:33:30,621 --> 00:33:32,180
Stop babbling.
660
00:33:33,420 --> 00:33:34,501
You're getting a pass.
661
00:33:34,581 --> 00:33:37,940
A weak one with notes in the margin
but it's still a pass.
662
00:33:38,021 --> 00:33:40,061
I've always tried to maintain
the highest standards.
663
00:33:40,141 --> 00:33:42,940
The less you speak,
the better it'll be for everybody.
664
00:33:47,301 --> 00:33:48,420
[door creaks]
665
00:33:55,821 --> 00:33:57,861
[door squeaks]
666
00:34:16,541 --> 00:34:18,541
[oven beeps]
667
00:34:18,621 --> 00:34:20,981
Oh, shite!
668
00:34:21,061 --> 00:34:22,260
Get out!
669
00:34:22,340 --> 00:34:23,740
Get out!
670
00:34:23,820 --> 00:34:24,901
[explosion]
671
00:34:31,901 --> 00:34:33,700
[alarm blares]
672
00:34:33,780 --> 00:34:36,061
[kids screaming]
673
00:34:43,941 --> 00:34:46,021
[coughing]
674
00:34:47,941 --> 00:34:50,180
We shouldn't be exposed
to these kinds of things.
675
00:34:50,260 --> 00:34:52,981
We're fuckin' courtesans,
ladies of pleasure.
676
00:34:53,061 --> 00:34:55,381
Fire! Fire!
677
00:34:55,461 --> 00:34:56,820
Coming through! Fire!
678
00:35:02,381 --> 00:35:03,581
What was that?
679
00:35:03,661 --> 00:35:06,421
Al-Qaeda
or the fucking paddies starting up?
680
00:35:21,741 --> 00:35:25,621
"Let Hercules himself do what he may.
681
00:35:25,701 --> 00:35:29,860
The cat will mew
and dog will have his day."
682
00:35:32,021 --> 00:35:35,300
That is from Hamlet
683
00:35:35,381 --> 00:35:39,221
and it means
you are all in a hell a lot of trouble!
684
00:35:50,221 --> 00:35:51,981
[Mimi] I feel sorry for you.
685
00:35:52,061 --> 00:35:57,381
You went to all that effort to set up
those microwaves, the cans in them.
686
00:35:57,461 --> 00:36:02,221
Big boom and you didn't even scratch me.
687
00:36:02,300 --> 00:36:05,501
I mean, that's pathetic.
688
00:36:07,141 --> 00:36:11,261
There are kids your age in Sierra Leone,
with AK-47s
689
00:36:11,340 --> 00:36:13,701
and twice the balls you'll ever have!
690
00:36:15,461 --> 00:36:19,421
You know,
when I first heard about you, I thought,
691
00:36:19,501 --> 00:36:23,661
"Maybe here's a lad
who's going to show me something new.
692
00:36:23,741 --> 00:36:25,300
Something interesting.
693
00:36:25,381 --> 00:36:28,221
Maybe he'll even surprise me."
694
00:36:29,501 --> 00:36:31,981
But you can't, can you, Adam?
695
00:36:32,061 --> 00:36:35,701
Because you're mediocre.
696
00:36:35,780 --> 00:36:38,340
And you always will be.
697
00:36:38,421 --> 00:36:39,461
[scoffs]
698
00:36:46,181 --> 00:36:50,501
So, how does it feel,
now you've spoken to dad?
699
00:36:50,581 --> 00:36:51,541
Yeah, great.
700
00:36:51,621 --> 00:36:54,541
Like, you know, a weight off my mind.
701
00:36:56,581 --> 00:36:58,461
No, I can't do this, Kas.
702
00:36:58,541 --> 00:36:59,581
I didn't feel a thing.
703
00:37:01,300 --> 00:37:04,061
I'm a bad person, this was a mistake.
704
00:37:04,141 --> 00:37:05,101
Jamie…
705
00:37:05,181 --> 00:37:06,501
I've done time in jail,
706
00:37:06,581 --> 00:37:08,380
I've been involved in shit
that would turn your shite white.
707
00:37:08,461 --> 00:37:10,261
You're clever, you're driven.
708
00:37:10,340 --> 00:37:12,181
You've got this great kid
who's all sorted.
709
00:37:12,261 --> 00:37:13,421
I'm just a fuck-up.
710
00:37:13,501 --> 00:37:14,741
What? It's not funny, it's…
711
00:37:14,820 --> 00:37:15,901
Jamie.
712
00:37:18,101 --> 00:37:19,181
I lied to you.
713
00:37:20,181 --> 00:37:21,860
Dad's ashes weren't scattered here.
714
00:37:24,461 --> 00:37:26,300
Then where are they scattered?
715
00:37:26,380 --> 00:37:27,380
Dunno.
716
00:37:27,461 --> 00:37:29,741
I don't even know where they are.
717
00:37:29,820 --> 00:37:32,021
Left 'em in the back of a taxi
when I was doing a runner.
718
00:37:32,101 --> 00:37:33,061
Why?
719
00:37:33,141 --> 00:37:36,181
Well, because it was 8.50 quid
and I only had a fiver on me
720
00:37:36,261 --> 00:37:37,300
and you know
they always fiddle the meter anyway.
721
00:37:37,380 --> 00:37:40,661
Why did you tell me they were here,
acting all serious?
722
00:37:44,141 --> 00:37:46,261
Because I thought that's what you wanted.
723
00:37:46,340 --> 00:37:48,141
I'm only here
because I thought it's what you wanted!
724
00:37:49,901 --> 00:37:53,701
Mate, I'm a fuck-up too.
725
00:37:53,780 --> 00:37:55,901
Not just losing Dad's ashes.
726
00:37:55,981 --> 00:37:57,820
I mean, I've been bankrupt.
727
00:37:57,901 --> 00:38:01,300
And Tam, well…
728
00:38:01,380 --> 00:38:03,941
Well, they gave him
a little holiday from school
729
00:38:04,021 --> 00:38:07,541
for sending photos of his cock
to the English teacher!
730
00:38:07,621 --> 00:38:09,461
[phone beeps]
731
00:38:09,541 --> 00:38:11,621
Looks like he's just shown it
to my missus.
732
00:38:20,741 --> 00:38:24,621
The point is, fucking-up happens.
733
00:38:24,701 --> 00:38:28,340
And I figure, two brothers,
walking around, acting all serious,
734
00:38:28,421 --> 00:38:30,981
trying to make the other one feel better.
735
00:38:31,061 --> 00:38:32,340
Well, it can't all be bad.
736
00:38:33,860 --> 00:38:35,221
Right?
737
00:38:38,661 --> 00:38:39,860
You really are a fuck-up.
738
00:38:44,661 --> 00:38:47,421
[kids screaming]
739
00:38:47,501 --> 00:38:48,461
No. No.
740
00:38:48,541 --> 00:38:49,981
[kids screaming]
741
00:38:50,061 --> 00:38:52,741
Fight, fight, fight!
742
00:38:58,501 --> 00:39:00,981
Listen, you can't blame Banbury for this.
743
00:39:02,101 --> 00:39:03,461
He let a kid come back.
744
00:39:03,541 --> 00:39:05,061
Teachers walked out.
745
00:39:06,461 --> 00:39:07,541
Look.
746
00:39:07,621 --> 00:39:11,741
I'm going to be nice and save you
the trouble of a beautiful speech,
747
00:39:11,820 --> 00:39:16,581
some wonderful oration
to melt my heart and stay my pen.
748
00:39:18,101 --> 00:39:20,181
It's not going to happen.
749
00:39:20,261 --> 00:39:22,820
There are rules!
750
00:39:22,901 --> 00:39:24,860
Regulations!
751
00:39:24,941 --> 00:39:26,981
Correct ways of doing things.
752
00:39:27,061 --> 00:39:28,181
He touched me!
753
00:39:30,981 --> 00:39:31,981
What?
754
00:39:32,061 --> 00:39:33,021
Him.
755
00:39:33,101 --> 00:39:35,981
He touched me, in my private area,
in the toilets.
756
00:39:36,061 --> 00:39:38,541
This… This is ridiculous!
757
00:39:38,621 --> 00:39:40,741
Obviously just another set-up.
758
00:39:40,820 --> 00:39:42,621
Nothing to do with me.
759
00:39:42,701 --> 00:39:44,181
Nobody is going to believe him.
760
00:39:44,261 --> 00:39:47,741
All allegations of abuse
must be dealt with seriously.
761
00:39:47,820 --> 00:39:50,780
If the child is in immediate trouble,
the police should be called.
762
00:39:50,860 --> 00:39:54,901
Otherwise, it must be taken
to the council Children's Services.
763
00:39:54,981 --> 00:39:59,621
These are the rules, the regulations,
the correct way of doing things.
764
00:40:00,941 --> 00:40:03,021
I'm sure your name will be cleared.
765
00:40:03,101 --> 00:40:06,541
Family, friends, colleagues
won't ever think less of you.
766
00:40:06,621 --> 00:40:08,461
No nagging doubts.
767
00:40:08,541 --> 00:40:10,621
Smoke without fire, so to speak.
768
00:40:13,701 --> 00:40:15,021
Are you threatening me?
769
00:40:15,101 --> 00:40:17,461
Offering you a solution, love.
770
00:40:17,541 --> 00:40:20,981
One word in this kid's ear
and he'll keep his trap shut.
771
00:40:21,061 --> 00:40:24,461
I'll make sure the teachers come back,
the world keeps turning,
772
00:40:24,541 --> 00:40:29,701
and you can wheel on in next week,
full inspection, proper this time.
773
00:40:30,701 --> 00:40:32,421
You've no justification for this.
774
00:40:32,501 --> 00:40:34,501
I am here to make sure
the school runs properly.
775
00:40:34,581 --> 00:40:38,941
Believe me, I give more of a shite
about this place than anyone else.
776
00:40:39,021 --> 00:40:40,860
You have my word on that.
777
00:40:40,941 --> 00:40:42,941
Your word!
778
00:40:43,021 --> 00:40:45,380
I don't even know what you are!
779
00:40:45,461 --> 00:40:48,621
I'm Mrs. Tutton, head of the PTA.
780
00:41:03,380 --> 00:41:04,820
OK, that got my attention.
781
00:41:07,461 --> 00:41:10,741
Now, go away
and ask about the Maguire family.
782
00:41:10,820 --> 00:41:12,741
Look 'em up online.
783
00:41:12,820 --> 00:41:14,661
Have a read, have a think.
784
00:41:16,421 --> 00:41:18,061
Could always use someone like you…
785
00:41:19,101 --> 00:41:20,981
when you get out.
786
00:41:21,061 --> 00:41:25,061
Because the way you're going now,
it's Borstal, then Strangeways,
787
00:41:25,141 --> 00:41:27,061
then a life pissed away!
788
00:41:30,261 --> 00:41:31,901
And I'd hate to see that happen.
789
00:41:41,981 --> 00:41:43,661
You can take those glasses off now.
790
00:41:43,741 --> 00:41:44,701
Oh, I like them,
791
00:41:44,780 --> 00:41:47,101
makes me look intellectual,
even more intellectual.
792
00:41:48,141 --> 00:41:51,661
We can nip away every so often.
Be someone else, like we were today.
793
00:41:52,820 --> 00:41:54,661
So, we'd lie about who we are.
794
00:41:54,741 --> 00:41:55,820
"Lie" is a bit strong.
795
00:41:55,901 --> 00:41:58,181
It's more like
we'd have secret identities.
796
00:41:58,261 --> 00:41:59,501
[sighs]
797
00:42:01,741 --> 00:42:06,780
Don't you think if we have to work
that hard to try and hide something…
798
00:42:07,941 --> 00:42:10,021
well, then there's a bigger problem
at the heart of it all?
799
00:42:10,101 --> 00:42:12,860
Let he who is without sin
cast the first stone.
800
00:42:21,221 --> 00:42:22,340
I'll give you that, Dom.
801
00:42:23,661 --> 00:42:25,701
You always manage to find faith somewhere.
802
00:42:37,221 --> 00:42:38,261
Come on.
803
00:42:42,340 --> 00:42:46,981
This was a fucking disaster.
804
00:42:47,061 --> 00:42:48,581
Oh, come on, Russell.
805
00:42:48,661 --> 00:42:50,741
You've got another shot at the inspection.
806
00:42:50,820 --> 00:42:54,581
Adam Wiggins is out your hair,
and all the teachers are back on Monday.
807
00:43:00,941 --> 00:43:05,101
I believe there's something
you want to say to me.
808
00:43:09,941 --> 00:43:12,141
Thank you, Mrs. Tutton.
809
00:43:20,061 --> 00:43:21,141
[sighs]
810
00:43:22,221 --> 00:43:23,941
[door closes]
811
00:43:24,021 --> 00:43:26,261
[Dom] Maybe the thing
about our secret identities
812
00:43:26,340 --> 00:43:28,141
is that they might be hidden
to ourselves.
813
00:43:29,461 --> 00:43:32,061
Oh, you remind me of that fella.
814
00:43:32,141 --> 00:43:34,340
Who's that? James Bond?
815
00:43:34,421 --> 00:43:35,501
No, the other one.
816
00:43:35,581 --> 00:43:36,741
Simon Templar, the Saint?
817
00:43:36,820 --> 00:43:38,181
Hurricane Higgins.
818
00:43:39,741 --> 00:43:40,941
[smooches]
819
00:43:43,261 --> 00:43:46,300
[Dom] Like the man who discovered
the simple joys of a hard day's work.
820
00:43:52,101 --> 00:43:53,860
On the house.
821
00:43:53,941 --> 00:43:55,621
Oh, cheers.
822
00:43:55,701 --> 00:43:57,461
Eh, you did good today, kid.
823
00:43:57,541 --> 00:44:00,461
They'll be calling this place St Mimi's
before too long.
824
00:44:00,541 --> 00:44:01,581
Shut up.
825
00:44:01,661 --> 00:44:03,340
[laughs]
826
00:44:07,820 --> 00:44:09,421
Just do half this time, eh?
827
00:44:11,701 --> 00:44:12,780
[Dom] Or the woman who found her place
828
00:44:12,860 --> 00:44:14,741
a million miles
from where she expected it.
829
00:44:16,661 --> 00:44:19,461
That's a million miles metaphorically,
obviously.
830
00:44:19,541 --> 00:44:22,141
Not like she went to outer space,
you know, Mars or something.
831
00:44:23,181 --> 00:44:26,181
Or the boy who grew up and found
a brother he had more in common with
832
00:44:26,261 --> 00:44:27,501
that he'd ever have realised.
833
00:44:27,581 --> 00:44:28,661
There's room for one more, mate.
834
00:44:32,261 --> 00:44:34,701
[laughs]
835
00:44:34,780 --> 00:44:35,941
Cheers, mate.
836
00:44:36,021 --> 00:44:37,340
Nice to meet you.
837
00:44:42,981 --> 00:44:45,541
[Dom] And the man who found love,
found a purpose in life.
838
00:44:49,941 --> 00:44:52,860
Had searched for God
in the strangest of places,
839
00:44:52,941 --> 00:44:57,221
but found it in her crooked smile,
her dolphin blue eyes,
840
00:44:57,300 --> 00:44:59,380
the way her hair hung upon her face.
841
00:45:03,941 --> 00:45:06,181
But didn't realise
that wasn't who he was at all.
842
00:45:10,221 --> 00:45:12,061
Are you waiting for someone?
843
00:45:12,141 --> 00:45:15,621
[Dom] He was just a man
waiting for the girl he loved…
844
00:45:15,701 --> 00:45:16,661
No.
845
00:45:16,741 --> 00:45:18,021
[Dom] …who was never going to show.
846
00:45:21,181 --> 00:45:23,261
And she told herself that
this was for the best,
847
00:45:23,340 --> 00:45:25,181
that leaving was the only thing
she could do.
848
00:45:26,780 --> 00:45:28,421
She would be just be Gloria again.
849
00:45:30,061 --> 00:45:31,941
Somewhere else.
850
00:45:32,021 --> 00:45:33,820
You keep the takings in a railway locker?
851
00:45:33,900 --> 00:45:35,181
They're very secure, them lockers.
852
00:45:35,261 --> 00:45:37,621
She reckons there's upwards of three grand
in there by now.
853
00:45:37,701 --> 00:45:38,661
She never counts it.
854
00:45:38,741 --> 00:45:40,581
[Mimi] Problem with a teacher
letting the side down,
855
00:45:40,661 --> 00:45:43,820
the headmaster has personally asked me
to sort her out.
856
00:45:43,900 --> 00:45:46,421
Stick with me,
I'll make a new woman of you.
857
00:45:46,501 --> 00:45:48,340
Twelve grand, and that's just this lot.
858
00:45:48,421 --> 00:45:50,741
All she's expecting is a couple of stags.
859
00:45:50,820 --> 00:45:53,461
[Marty] Me and Kelly, come into
a bit of money, ripped it off!
860
00:45:53,541 --> 00:45:55,340
-You want to launder some money?
-Shh!
861
00:45:55,421 --> 00:45:56,941
Are you robbing us?
862
00:46:37,181 --> 00:46:38,261
[knock at door]
863
00:46:38,340 --> 00:46:41,300
-[Sherilee] Come on, Frank!
-[Derilee] Come back out!
864
00:46:41,380 --> 00:46:43,101
[Sherilee] Frank!
865
00:46:43,181 --> 00:46:44,421
[Frank] OK.
866
00:46:47,141 --> 00:46:48,181
OK.
867
00:46:51,741 --> 00:46:53,181
[door creaks]
868
00:46:55,181 --> 00:46:56,181
[spooky smile]
869
00:46:56,261 --> 00:46:58,981
Ah, you fuckin' parasite,
you war criminal!
870
00:47:05,981 --> 00:47:06,981
Fuck it.
871
00:47:07,061 --> 00:47:08,741
Let's have another go on the swing.
93369
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