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1
00:00:02,068 --> 00:00:05,070
MORK: Nanu, nanu!
2
00:00:05,071 --> 00:00:09,575
( UPBEAT THEME PLAYING )
3
00:01:30,156 --> 00:01:33,158
( UPBEAT THEME PLAYING )
4
00:01:33,159 --> 00:01:35,661
Mindy: I don't think it was such
a bad idea for a promotion…
5
00:01:35,662 --> 00:01:37,162
"A night in Acapulco."
6
00:01:37,163 --> 00:01:40,165
Okay, okay, so I blew it,
but I gotta figure out a way
7
00:01:40,166 --> 00:01:42,167
to get some customers
in this place.
8
00:01:42,168 --> 00:01:43,168
Okay, guinea pig,
9
00:01:43,169 --> 00:01:45,170
could you flex your tendon?
10
00:01:45,171 --> 00:01:46,672
I thought you'd never ask.
11
00:01:46,673 --> 00:01:47,673
What are you doing?
12
00:01:47,674 --> 00:01:49,675
Don't put your feet
on the table.
13
00:01:49,676 --> 00:01:51,176
I gotta serve food here.
14
00:01:51,177 --> 00:01:52,678
I am studying to be a doctor.
15
00:01:52,679 --> 00:01:53,679
Comprende?
16
00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:54,680
Yeah, I know.
17
00:01:54,681 --> 00:01:56,181
You got a perfect patient here…
18
00:01:56,182 --> 00:01:58,184
Your brother's business
is dying.
19
00:01:59,185 --> 00:02:01,187
All right, everybody,
mellow out!
20
00:02:05,191 --> 00:02:08,193
It's officer mork here,
of the "Right on" police.
21
00:02:08,194 --> 00:02:10,195
You know, I've been really
picking up some bad vibes
22
00:02:10,196 --> 00:02:12,197
on my vibrational meter,
and I'm not gonna bust you
23
00:02:12,198 --> 00:02:14,199
because that's really
a downer, okay?
24
00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:15,701
I'm gonna put you under
gestalt arrest.
25
00:02:15,702 --> 00:02:17,703
It's a thing, where…
Hey, I've got some handcuffs.
26
00:02:17,704 --> 00:02:19,705
If you don't wanna wear them,
you don't have to.
27
00:02:19,706 --> 00:02:21,206
If you want to,
I'll fasten them real tight…
28
00:02:21,207 --> 00:02:22,708
What is all this?
29
00:02:22,709 --> 00:02:24,710
What, you didn't know?
Mork got a new job.
30
00:02:24,711 --> 00:02:27,212
He's the night watchman
at the science exhibition.
31
00:02:27,213 --> 00:02:29,715
Heh, that should set science
back about 200 years.
32
00:02:30,717 --> 00:02:33,218
Whoa. Nice-looking gams,
sweetheart.
33
00:02:33,219 --> 00:02:34,219
Gams?
34
00:02:34,220 --> 00:02:36,221
Pens, stems, pipes.
35
00:02:36,222 --> 00:02:38,223
So, Mork-O, have a seat here.
36
00:02:38,224 --> 00:02:39,725
Remo.
37
00:02:39,726 --> 00:02:41,226
Sounds like you found
a job you really like.
38
00:02:41,227 --> 00:02:42,728
I'm proud of ya.
39
00:02:42,729 --> 00:02:45,230
I can keep it as long as I do
the two things I'm supposed to.
40
00:02:45,231 --> 00:02:46,231
One thing is to make my rounds,
41
00:02:46,232 --> 00:02:48,734
the other is to keep my hands
off the science exhibits.
42
00:02:48,735 --> 00:02:50,235
How's it going?
43
00:02:50,236 --> 00:02:52,238
Well, one out of two ain't bad.
44
00:02:53,239 --> 00:02:54,740
Uh-oh.
45
00:02:54,741 --> 00:02:56,742
All right, spill it.
46
00:02:56,743 --> 00:02:59,244
Well, there's this really cute
old robot there,
47
00:02:59,245 --> 00:03:01,747
and I've… I've reprogrammed him
to play games and talk.
48
00:03:01,748 --> 00:03:02,748
He always wins,
49
00:03:02,749 --> 00:03:05,250
but it's better than playing
mumbletypeg with a laser.
50
00:03:05,251 --> 00:03:08,754
Mork, you know
you probably shouldn't be
51
00:03:08,755 --> 00:03:11,256
fooling around with the
science exhibits.
52
00:03:11,257 --> 00:03:13,258
Well, no one really cares about
him, except for me.
53
00:03:13,259 --> 00:03:14,760
Hold it a minute.
54
00:03:14,761 --> 00:03:17,262
Telling me you've
reprogrammed some sort of robot.
55
00:03:17,263 --> 00:03:18,764
Are you kidding?
It's really simple.
56
00:03:18,765 --> 00:03:20,265
All you have to do is
adjust the circuitry
57
00:03:20,266 --> 00:03:22,267
to accommodate new diodes,
and, probably, if it's at night,
58
00:03:22,268 --> 00:03:23,769
it's a nocturnal emission,
59
00:03:23,770 --> 00:03:25,270
which is kind of
embarrassing for a robot.
60
00:03:25,271 --> 00:03:26,271
And besides that,
61
00:03:26,272 --> 00:03:28,774
The real tricky part
is synchronizing your polarity
62
00:03:28,775 --> 00:03:30,776
with your binder encronometers.
If you do that,
63
00:03:30,777 --> 00:03:32,779
You either get a robot
that talks, or a Cuisinart.
64
00:03:33,780 --> 00:03:35,781
I knew that.
65
00:03:35,782 --> 00:03:38,284
Well, I… I guess I'm off.
66
00:03:40,787 --> 00:03:42,287
Remo, Huh?
67
00:03:42,288 --> 00:03:43,789
How did that
"Night in Acapulco" go?
68
00:03:43,790 --> 00:03:45,290
Oh, not too good.
69
00:03:45,291 --> 00:03:47,292
No one thought it looked like
authentic Mexico in here.
70
00:03:47,293 --> 00:03:49,294
Well, that's easy, all you have
to do is bust people
71
00:03:49,295 --> 00:03:50,295
as they leave.
72
00:03:50,296 --> 00:03:51,296
Ciao!
73
00:03:51,297 --> 00:03:53,799
See ya.
74
00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:56,301
MORK: I see you $2 million,
and raise you the moon.
75
00:03:56,302 --> 00:03:58,804
(MONOTONE ROBOTIC VOICE):
Too rich for my hydraulic system.
76
00:03:58,805 --> 00:04:01,306
I win the known universe
with a pair of 2s.
77
00:04:01,307 --> 00:04:02,808
What did you have?
Let's see here.
78
00:04:02,809 --> 00:04:03,809
Whoa! Four aces.
79
00:04:03,810 --> 00:04:05,811
Couldn't have won
with that, anyway.
80
00:04:05,812 --> 00:04:09,314
How did you know I was bluffing?
81
00:04:09,315 --> 00:04:10,816
Actually, I could see
your cards in your dome.
82
00:04:10,817 --> 00:04:13,318
Shazbat!
83
00:04:13,319 --> 00:04:15,821
Well, I can't teach you
everything, Chuckela.
84
00:04:15,822 --> 00:04:19,825
Mork, could we talk
for a moment,
85
00:04:19,826 --> 00:04:21,327
in private?
86
00:04:23,329 --> 00:04:26,331
Private's locked.
87
00:04:26,332 --> 00:04:29,835
Lab rats are drugged.
88
00:04:29,836 --> 00:04:31,336
What's up, Chuck?
89
00:04:31,337 --> 00:04:32,838
I want to thank you
90
00:04:32,839 --> 00:04:35,340
for programming me
for consciousness.
91
00:04:35,341 --> 00:04:36,341
Aw, it's no big deal.
92
00:04:36,342 --> 00:04:38,343
I was kinda lonely.
I needed someone to talk to.
93
00:04:38,344 --> 00:04:41,347
Something very strange
has happened.
94
00:04:42,849 --> 00:04:45,350
Yesterday, after you left,
95
00:04:45,351 --> 00:04:48,854
I experienced a condition
which seemed to dictate
96
00:04:48,855 --> 00:04:50,856
the necessity of your presence.
97
00:04:50,857 --> 00:04:52,357
Chuck…
98
00:04:52,358 --> 00:04:54,860
you missed me.
99
00:04:54,861 --> 00:04:56,862
Missed you?
100
00:04:56,863 --> 00:04:58,363
But that's impossible.
101
00:04:58,364 --> 00:05:00,365
Robots function purely by logic.
102
00:05:00,366 --> 00:05:01,366
I have no emotions.
103
00:05:01,367 --> 00:05:02,367
Well, you've got them now.
104
00:05:02,368 --> 00:05:03,368
I didn't mean
to give them to you,
105
00:05:03,369 --> 00:05:05,370
but I guess that comes with
having a conscience.
106
00:05:05,371 --> 00:05:07,372
Well, I shouldn't have emotions.
107
00:05:07,373 --> 00:05:09,374
They conflict
with my computer banks.
108
00:05:09,375 --> 00:05:11,376
I used to think
the same way, Chuck, but…
109
00:05:11,377 --> 00:05:12,878
now I'm up to my ears in 'em.
110
00:05:12,879 --> 00:05:14,880
You've probably got a few
of them swimming inside.
111
00:05:14,881 --> 00:05:16,381
They're just itching to get out.
112
00:05:16,382 --> 00:05:18,884
Cootchy, cootchy, cootchy.
113
00:05:18,885 --> 00:05:22,387
Maybe that is what caused
the other strange thing.
114
00:05:22,388 --> 00:05:27,392
When you came in last night,
you smiled at the newer robot,
115
00:05:27,393 --> 00:05:29,895
and I wanted to
scratch out his cathodes.
116
00:05:29,896 --> 00:05:32,397
Chuck, you were jealous.
117
00:05:32,398 --> 00:05:34,900
These emotions have names?
118
00:05:34,901 --> 00:05:38,403
Yes, and I know them
all personally.
119
00:05:38,404 --> 00:05:39,905
Is it good to be jealous?
120
00:05:39,906 --> 00:05:41,406
Well, It's good
to have emotions,
121
00:05:41,407 --> 00:05:43,408
but jealousy's not one of
the better ones.
122
00:05:43,409 --> 00:05:44,910
Why are you jealous of XLG-15?
123
00:05:44,911 --> 00:05:47,412
Because he is shiny and new,
124
00:05:47,413 --> 00:05:49,414
and technologically perfect,
125
00:05:49,415 --> 00:05:53,919
and I am going to be
dismantled next week.
126
00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:55,420
Why, Chuck-O?
127
00:05:55,421 --> 00:05:57,423
Metal fatigue.
128
00:05:58,925 --> 00:06:02,427
They say rusty old robots
like me should be destroyed.
129
00:06:02,428 --> 00:06:03,929
Who are they? They're not gods.
130
00:06:03,930 --> 00:06:05,430
Just because they created you,
131
00:06:05,431 --> 00:06:06,932
doesn't give them
the right to do that.
132
00:06:06,933 --> 00:06:09,434
Mork, calm down.
133
00:06:09,435 --> 00:06:12,437
Everyone is only here
temporarily.
134
00:06:12,438 --> 00:06:15,941
Even that brand-new, shiny robot
135
00:06:15,942 --> 00:06:17,943
will wear out someday.
136
00:06:17,944 --> 00:06:19,945
But the only thing that's tough,
137
00:06:19,946 --> 00:06:22,447
is I've… I've just found out
138
00:06:22,448 --> 00:06:24,950
I'm going to be dismantled,
139
00:06:24,951 --> 00:06:28,954
and I've just found out…
what it is to be alive.
140
00:06:28,955 --> 00:06:30,956
Chuck, how can you take it
so calmly?
141
00:06:30,957 --> 00:06:33,959
They must know
what they are doing.
142
00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:35,961
They feel I should be
taken apart,
143
00:06:35,962 --> 00:06:37,462
before I fall apart.
144
00:06:37,463 --> 00:06:40,465
The only flaw in their logic is,
145
00:06:40,466 --> 00:06:42,968
I am not falling apart!
146
00:06:42,969 --> 00:06:43,970
( METAL CLANGS )
147
00:06:45,471 --> 00:06:46,471
What was that, Chuck?
148
00:06:46,472 --> 00:06:47,973
Nothing.
149
00:06:49,976 --> 00:06:51,978
My stomach was rumbling.
150
00:06:52,979 --> 00:06:54,479
Let's change the subject.
151
00:06:54,480 --> 00:06:55,480
Anything you say.
152
00:06:55,481 --> 00:06:56,982
Yes.
153
00:06:56,983 --> 00:06:58,483
All right, uh,
let's play another game.
154
00:06:58,484 --> 00:07:00,986
We've played poker, let's see.
155
00:07:00,987 --> 00:07:03,488
We'll play, um, "I spy."
156
00:07:03,489 --> 00:07:05,991
You be Robert Culp,
I'll be Bill Cosby, all right?
157
00:07:05,992 --> 00:07:07,993
Sure!
158
00:07:07,994 --> 00:07:10,996
I spy with my little eye,
159
00:07:10,997 --> 00:07:12,999
something beginning
with the letter "a."
160
00:07:15,001 --> 00:07:18,004
Whoa, great impression
of Linda Blair.
161
00:07:21,007 --> 00:07:23,008
Acetylene torch.
162
00:07:23,009 --> 00:07:24,509
Hot, but no way.
163
00:07:24,510 --> 00:07:26,511
( LAUGHS )
164
00:07:26,512 --> 00:07:28,513
These emotions are interesting.
165
00:07:28,514 --> 00:07:30,515
I'd like to experience
more of them.
166
00:07:30,516 --> 00:07:32,017
Adhesive tape!
167
00:07:32,018 --> 00:07:34,019
Sticky, but no banana.
168
00:07:34,020 --> 00:07:36,021
You'll never get emotions
if you're cramped up
169
00:07:36,022 --> 00:07:38,023
in this tiny, cooped up
space all the time.
170
00:07:38,024 --> 00:07:39,524
Well, I guess if you're not
gonna guess it,
171
00:07:39,525 --> 00:07:40,525
then I'll have to tell you.
172
00:07:40,526 --> 00:07:42,027
It was air.
173
00:07:42,028 --> 00:07:45,030
Oh! But it's supposed to be
something you can see.
174
00:07:45,031 --> 00:07:47,032
You can't see air.
175
00:07:47,033 --> 00:07:49,035
Ah, then you've never been
to Los Angeles.
176
00:07:54,540 --> 00:07:55,540
All right, you win.
177
00:07:55,541 --> 00:07:57,042
Okay.
178
00:07:57,043 --> 00:08:00,545
I spy with my little eye,
179
00:08:00,546 --> 00:08:05,050
something beginning with… "F."
180
00:08:05,051 --> 00:08:07,552
"F."
181
00:08:07,553 --> 00:08:09,554
Floor!
182
00:08:09,555 --> 00:08:10,555
No. Ah.
183
00:08:10,556 --> 00:08:14,059
Oh, I wish I could
get out of here,
184
00:08:14,060 --> 00:08:16,561
so I could experience
some more emotions.
185
00:08:16,562 --> 00:08:19,564
Mmm! I want to live!
186
00:08:19,565 --> 00:08:21,566
I want to dance!
187
00:08:21,567 --> 00:08:24,570
I want to shake my booty!
188
00:08:31,077 --> 00:08:33,079
( YAWNS )
189
00:08:35,081 --> 00:08:37,083
( LIGHT THEME PLAYING )
190
00:08:42,588 --> 00:08:43,588
Ahh!
191
00:08:43,589 --> 00:08:45,590
Ahh! Ahh!
192
00:08:45,591 --> 00:08:47,592
Mork!
193
00:08:47,593 --> 00:08:49,594
What are you doing home
so early?
194
00:08:49,595 --> 00:08:51,596
- It's not early.
- It's 5:00 in the morning.
195
00:08:51,597 --> 00:08:54,099
Oh. Oh, I must have
fallen asleep,
196
00:08:54,100 --> 00:08:55,100
while watching that movie.
197
00:08:55,101 --> 00:08:56,601
What were you watching?
198
00:08:56,602 --> 00:08:58,603
Oh, I don't know.
Some old tear-jerker.
199
00:08:58,604 --> 00:09:02,107
My favorite love story is
"Mothra vs. Godzilla."
200
00:09:02,108 --> 00:09:04,109
I always cry when
Tokyo gets destroyed.
201
00:09:04,110 --> 00:09:05,110
Same old story, though.
202
00:09:05,111 --> 00:09:07,112
Boy meets city, boy loses city.
203
00:09:07,113 --> 00:09:08,113
Tiny girls sing…
204
00:09:08,114 --> 00:09:11,616
♪ Mothra ♪
205
00:09:11,617 --> 00:09:12,617
Well, how was work?
206
00:09:12,618 --> 00:09:15,620
Oh. Well, remember that old
robot called Chuck,
207
00:09:15,621 --> 00:09:17,122
I was telling you about?
208
00:09:17,123 --> 00:09:18,623
They named the robot Chuck?
209
00:09:18,624 --> 00:09:21,626
Well, no one calls him "Chas."
210
00:09:21,627 --> 00:09:23,628
Remember I programmed him
to play games and talk?
211
00:09:23,629 --> 00:09:26,131
Well, now he's
accidentally got feelings.
212
00:09:26,132 --> 00:09:28,133
I didn't think
robots had feelings.
213
00:09:28,134 --> 00:09:29,634
I didn't think Orkans did, but…
214
00:09:29,635 --> 00:09:31,636
Now he's got them, he wants to
experience everything.
215
00:09:31,637 --> 00:09:35,640
Well, maybe you could fix him up
with Mr. Bickley's dishwasher.
216
00:09:35,641 --> 00:09:36,641
Now he's not a machine, anymore.
217
00:09:36,642 --> 00:09:37,642
He's a being.
218
00:09:37,643 --> 00:09:38,643
He wants to meet people.
219
00:09:38,644 --> 00:09:40,145
He wants to party hearty.
220
00:09:41,147 --> 00:09:43,148
I don't know what you're
getting yourself into,
221
00:09:43,149 --> 00:09:45,650
but this whole thing
sounds pretty strange to me.
222
00:09:45,651 --> 00:09:47,652
Have you ever heard
the story of Frankenstein?
223
00:09:47,653 --> 00:09:49,654
Oh, yeah, it's an
incredible love story.
224
00:09:49,655 --> 00:09:52,157
Mork, besides being a love
story, what it was about,
225
00:09:52,158 --> 00:09:54,159
was if you tamper
with a monster, then…
226
00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:55,660
Chuck's not a monster!
227
00:09:55,661 --> 00:09:57,662
He's no Robert Redford, but…
228
00:09:57,663 --> 00:10:00,165
The point is, Mork…
229
00:10:00,166 --> 00:10:01,666
Is that Frankenstein
was given feelings,
230
00:10:01,667 --> 00:10:03,168
and he didn't know
how to handle them,
231
00:10:03,169 --> 00:10:04,669
and he got himself into
a lot of trouble.
232
00:10:04,670 --> 00:10:06,171
So you're implying that
233
00:10:06,172 --> 00:10:08,173
Chuck is going to strangle
innocent townspeople?
234
00:10:08,174 --> 00:10:10,175
What I'm saying is
that it might end up
235
00:10:10,176 --> 00:10:12,677
hurting itself,
or maybe somebody else,
236
00:10:12,678 --> 00:10:14,679
and it might end up
costing you your job.
237
00:10:14,680 --> 00:10:15,680
Listen.
238
00:10:15,681 --> 00:10:16,681
I know a lot about Chuck.
239
00:10:16,682 --> 00:10:17,682
He's my best friend.
240
00:10:17,683 --> 00:10:19,184
I know him very,
very well, and…
241
00:10:19,185 --> 00:10:20,685
He hasn't got a vicious
circuit in his body.
242
00:10:20,686 --> 00:10:22,187
He wouldn't harm anything.
243
00:10:22,188 --> 00:10:26,191
( KNOCKING )
244
00:10:26,192 --> 00:10:28,193
( TENSE THEME PLAYING )
245
00:10:28,194 --> 00:10:30,196
It's for you.
246
00:10:40,206 --> 00:10:43,208
Mindy, this is Chuck the robot.
247
00:10:43,209 --> 00:10:45,711
Yeah, that would have
been my guess.
248
00:10:46,712 --> 00:10:48,213
Greetings, Mindy.
249
00:10:48,214 --> 00:10:50,215
I am sorry about the door.
250
00:10:50,216 --> 00:10:52,217
Oh, well, it's my fault.
251
00:10:52,218 --> 00:10:54,219
I never should leave it closed.
252
00:10:54,220 --> 00:10:55,720
It's all right, Chuck-O.
253
00:10:55,721 --> 00:10:57,222
We'll just put
a two-foot peephole in.
254
00:10:57,223 --> 00:10:59,224
Perfect for 600-pound
Avon ladies.
255
00:10:59,225 --> 00:11:02,228
(HUSKY VOICE):
Wanna buy some makeup?
256
00:11:02,728 --> 00:11:04,729
( LAUGHS )
257
00:11:04,730 --> 00:11:07,732
So, this is a home.
258
00:11:07,733 --> 00:11:09,234
No, this is an apartment.
259
00:11:09,235 --> 00:11:11,736
A home is where he belongs.
260
00:11:11,737 --> 00:11:15,240
Come on in, Chuck.
Take a load off your hinges.
261
00:11:16,242 --> 00:11:17,743
There we go.
262
00:11:19,745 --> 00:11:21,746
Oh, dear. Ohh.
263
00:11:21,747 --> 00:11:26,251
Uh, Mork, I think that
your friend, uh, Chuck,
264
00:11:26,252 --> 00:11:27,752
should go back
to the science fair.
265
00:11:27,753 --> 00:11:29,254
Come on, Mindy.
Let him stay. He's a friend.
266
00:11:29,255 --> 00:11:31,256
He needs a place to stay.
Please, please, Mindy.
267
00:11:31,257 --> 00:11:34,259
Oh, gee, Mork. I don't know.
268
00:11:34,260 --> 00:11:36,761
No way!
269
00:11:36,762 --> 00:11:38,263
But maybe we all
could get together,
270
00:11:38,264 --> 00:11:40,265
and have lunch sometime.
271
00:11:40,266 --> 00:11:42,267
You act like
you're afraid of Chuck.
272
00:11:42,268 --> 00:11:44,769
(LAUGHS): Oh, no.
273
00:11:44,770 --> 00:11:46,771
Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.
274
00:11:46,772 --> 00:11:48,773
Come here, don't be afraid.
Come here, touch him.
275
00:11:48,774 --> 00:11:50,275
Listen, this couldn't
harm you. Watch.
276
00:11:50,276 --> 00:11:51,776
Chuck, kill!
277
00:11:51,777 --> 00:11:53,278
See, he didn't do anything.
278
00:11:53,279 --> 00:11:55,780
Lassie would have been
at your throat by now.
279
00:11:55,781 --> 00:11:57,782
Chuck, say hello.
280
00:11:57,783 --> 00:12:00,285
Hello, Mindy.
281
00:12:00,286 --> 00:12:01,286
You're very pretty.
282
00:12:01,287 --> 00:12:04,789
Oh. Well, thank you.
283
00:12:04,790 --> 00:12:06,291
And you're very metallic.
284
00:12:06,292 --> 00:12:08,293
Thank you.
285
00:12:08,294 --> 00:12:09,794
Oh, please, let me stay.
286
00:12:09,795 --> 00:12:13,298
I… I was kidding myself
before, Mork.
287
00:12:13,299 --> 00:12:14,799
I am rusting away.
288
00:12:14,800 --> 00:12:16,801
There's not going to be anything
wrong with you,
289
00:12:16,802 --> 00:12:18,303
there's nothing wrong with you.
290
00:12:18,304 --> 00:12:19,804
With the time I have left,
291
00:12:19,805 --> 00:12:22,807
I want to find out
what life is all about.
292
00:12:22,808 --> 00:12:26,811
I… I need to be with
warm, caring people.
293
00:12:26,812 --> 00:12:28,813
Yeah. Chuck and I,
294
00:12:28,814 --> 00:12:31,316
We're… We're real,
real good buddies.
295
00:12:31,317 --> 00:12:32,318
You bet!
296
00:12:36,322 --> 00:12:37,323
See? He likes me.
297
00:12:38,324 --> 00:12:40,325
No, no, Chuck. That's
all right. I'll get up.
298
00:12:40,326 --> 00:12:43,328
Mork, he has to go back
before he's missed.
299
00:12:43,329 --> 00:12:46,331
Well, the exhibit doesn't open
until next Monday.
300
00:12:46,332 --> 00:12:49,334
No one's going to miss me
over the weekend.
301
00:12:49,335 --> 00:12:51,836
Except maybe the Coke machine,
302
00:12:51,837 --> 00:12:53,839
but she's only nice for money.
303
00:12:54,840 --> 00:12:56,841
Mindy, please let him stay.
304
00:12:56,842 --> 00:12:57,842
He'll be the perfect house guest.
305
00:12:57,843 --> 00:12:59,344
He doesn't eat, doesn't sleep,
306
00:12:59,345 --> 00:13:00,845
doesn't smell after three days.
307
00:13:00,846 --> 00:13:02,347
And he only uses the bathroom
308
00:13:02,348 --> 00:13:03,349
to change his oil.
309
00:13:04,850 --> 00:13:06,351
Oh, that's a good one, Mork.
310
00:13:08,854 --> 00:13:10,355
Oh, Mindy, isn't he
a fantastic audience?
311
00:13:10,356 --> 00:13:11,856
Uh, yeah.
312
00:13:11,857 --> 00:13:14,359
Just like having Vegas
in your own home.
313
00:13:14,360 --> 00:13:16,361
Oh, Mindy, how can I thank you
314
00:13:16,362 --> 00:13:17,362
for letting me stay here?
315
00:13:17,363 --> 00:13:20,865
Oh, any way you want,
as long as it's from over there.
316
00:13:20,866 --> 00:13:22,367
'Scuse me, Mork.
317
00:13:22,368 --> 00:13:23,368
Mindy, please.
318
00:13:23,369 --> 00:13:25,370
Let's make Chuck feel at home.
319
00:13:25,371 --> 00:13:26,871
Tell you what.
You go fluff up the toolbox,
320
00:13:26,872 --> 00:13:28,373
and I'll make some STP daiquiri.
321
00:13:29,375 --> 00:13:30,875
♪ Mary had a little… ♪
322
00:13:30,876 --> 00:13:34,379
Bel, il, uh, schnuzz, ughhh.
323
00:13:34,380 --> 00:13:35,880
I beg your pardon?
324
00:13:35,881 --> 00:13:39,884
Oh, he said, "Mary had
a little… Bel, shnoot, ugh."
325
00:13:39,885 --> 00:13:40,885
Aren't you into literature?
326
00:13:40,886 --> 00:13:42,888
That's the poetry
of Billy Carter.
327
00:13:46,392 --> 00:13:47,892
I'm sorry.
328
00:13:47,893 --> 00:13:49,894
My brain seems to wander
once in a while.
329
00:13:49,895 --> 00:13:51,896
I'm not as young
as I used to be.
330
00:13:51,897 --> 00:13:56,901
In 1492, Columbus invented
the cotton gin.
331
00:13:56,902 --> 00:13:58,903
He is in bad shape.
332
00:13:58,904 --> 00:14:00,405
Well, he's not well,
but he'll get better.
333
00:14:00,406 --> 00:14:01,406
I promise. He will.
334
00:14:01,407 --> 00:14:02,907
Well, how long has
this been happening?
335
00:14:02,908 --> 00:14:04,910
Uh, how long has what
been happening?
336
00:14:05,911 --> 00:14:06,911
See?
337
00:14:06,912 --> 00:14:08,413
I'm well enough, Mork,
338
00:14:08,414 --> 00:14:10,415
for someone whose time
has almost come.
339
00:14:10,416 --> 00:14:12,417
Oh, don't talk like that, Chuck.
340
00:14:12,418 --> 00:14:13,418
You're still vital.
341
00:14:13,419 --> 00:14:14,919
You're the original
man of steel.
342
00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:16,421
On the outside, maybe,
343
00:14:16,422 --> 00:14:19,424
but inside,
I have metal fatigue.
344
00:14:19,425 --> 00:14:22,927
Even Geritol with iron
will not help.
345
00:14:22,928 --> 00:14:24,929
( SIGHS )
346
00:14:24,930 --> 00:14:26,431
Is there anything
that we can do to help?
347
00:14:26,432 --> 00:14:29,934
Oh, I want to find out
what life is all about.
348
00:14:29,935 --> 00:14:33,938
I have feelings,
and I want to use them.
349
00:14:33,939 --> 00:14:36,441
Abraham Lincoln
was the 16th president,
350
00:14:36,442 --> 00:14:38,944
and the inventor
of the Continental.
351
00:14:39,945 --> 00:14:42,947
I never thought I'd be
feeling sorry for a robot.
352
00:14:42,948 --> 00:14:44,949
Oh, please,
don't feel sorry for me.
353
00:14:44,950 --> 00:14:49,954
Just help me make what time
I have left meaningful.
354
00:14:49,955 --> 00:14:52,457
Ohhh, I want to feel useful.
355
00:14:52,458 --> 00:14:54,459
There must be something
a robot can do,
356
00:14:54,460 --> 00:14:56,961
besides just being another
exhibit at a science fair.
357
00:14:56,962 --> 00:14:58,463
Mindy, you may have just
licked that problem
358
00:14:58,464 --> 00:15:00,465
with that cute little
tongue of yours.
359
00:15:00,466 --> 00:15:02,467
How would you like to be
the main attraction
360
00:15:02,468 --> 00:15:03,968
at a delicatessen?
361
00:15:03,969 --> 00:15:05,970
Will I learn more
about feelings there?
362
00:15:05,971 --> 00:15:08,473
No, you'll learn about the most
intense emotion of them all.
363
00:15:08,474 --> 00:15:10,475
You mean… love?
364
00:15:10,476 --> 00:15:12,478
No, heartburn.
365
00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:15,480
REMO: Step right up!
366
00:15:15,481 --> 00:15:17,482
I want you to see the scientific
wonder of the century.
367
00:15:17,483 --> 00:15:20,485
Chuck the robot's gonna
be here in a minute.
368
00:15:20,486 --> 00:15:21,486
This is great.
369
00:15:21,487 --> 00:15:22,987
Getting a robot to
lure in these people.
370
00:15:22,988 --> 00:15:24,989
Mork, you're a genius!
371
00:15:24,990 --> 00:15:26,992
Oh, you're too modest.
372
00:15:28,494 --> 00:15:30,495
And somebody thought this was
the dumbest idea
373
00:15:30,496 --> 00:15:31,496
he'd ever heard.
374
00:15:31,497 --> 00:15:33,498
Look, it's no disgrace
to be a septic, okay?
375
00:15:33,499 --> 00:15:37,001
Skeptic. Tanks.
376
00:15:37,002 --> 00:15:39,003
How was I supposed to know
the robot could talk?
377
00:15:39,004 --> 00:15:41,005
Oh, well Remo,
anything's possible!
378
00:15:41,006 --> 00:15:42,007
You learned.
379
00:15:43,008 --> 00:15:44,008
Heh, heh.
380
00:15:44,009 --> 00:15:45,009
You know what it means,
381
00:15:45,010 --> 00:15:47,011
when I put my thumb in my teeth
like this, huh?
382
00:15:47,012 --> 00:15:50,014
Yes, that you're too
short to reach your nose.
383
00:15:50,015 --> 00:15:52,517
Oh, that's a good one.
You're learning from me.
384
00:15:52,518 --> 00:15:54,519
You're learning from me.
385
00:15:54,520 --> 00:15:56,521
Come on. All right, already.
386
00:15:56,522 --> 00:15:58,523
We'd better bring him out, now.
387
00:15:58,524 --> 00:16:00,564
They seem to be getting
a little restless, and full.
388
00:16:02,027 --> 00:16:04,028
May I have your attention,
ladies and gentlemen.
389
00:16:04,029 --> 00:16:06,030
We are about to
bring out Chuck the robot.
390
00:16:06,031 --> 00:16:07,031
( APPLAUSE )
391
00:16:07,032 --> 00:16:09,033
( CHEERING )
392
00:16:09,034 --> 00:16:10,535
But first, how about a…
393
00:16:10,536 --> 00:16:12,537
A piece of this delicious
strawberry cheesecake?
394
00:16:12,538 --> 00:16:14,038
We're going to can the
commercial break,
395
00:16:14,039 --> 00:16:15,540
that lady's doing a
nasty thing to the salami,
396
00:16:15,541 --> 00:16:17,542
making a weapon.
397
00:16:17,543 --> 00:16:19,545
Hey, Chuck-O! Get ready, baby!
398
00:16:22,047 --> 00:16:23,047
Here he comes, here he comes!
399
00:16:23,048 --> 00:16:26,050
( APPLAUSE )
400
00:16:26,051 --> 00:16:28,053
( CHEERING )
401
00:16:31,557 --> 00:16:37,562
Ahhh, so, this is what
life is all about.
402
00:16:37,563 --> 00:16:39,564
Chuck, my main machine,
slam me some tin, baby!
403
00:16:39,565 --> 00:16:42,066
Whoa! Heavy metal!
404
00:16:42,067 --> 00:16:46,070
Ladies and gentlemen,
let me present Chuck the robot!
405
00:16:46,071 --> 00:16:48,573
( CHEERING )
406
00:16:48,574 --> 00:16:50,074
He's gonna answer
any of your questions,
407
00:16:50,075 --> 00:16:51,576
and solve any of your problems.
408
00:16:51,577 --> 00:16:53,578
So, where's the restroom?
409
00:16:53,579 --> 00:16:55,580
That is not my problem.
410
00:16:55,581 --> 00:16:58,082
( LAUGHTER )
411
00:16:58,083 --> 00:17:00,084
They laughed. They must like me.
412
00:17:00,085 --> 00:17:01,586
Are you kidding?
You're killin' them.
413
00:17:01,587 --> 00:17:03,588
I can see Variety tomorrow.
"Garners big yuks.
414
00:17:03,589 --> 00:17:06,591
Arranged to gather for confab.
Five big deals."
415
00:17:06,592 --> 00:17:11,095
Thank you all for coming…
especially the fat lady.
416
00:17:11,096 --> 00:17:12,597
What?
417
00:17:12,598 --> 00:17:14,098
That's a little bit
intense, Chuck-O.
418
00:17:14,099 --> 00:17:16,100
You're being a little too
realistic, there.
419
00:17:16,101 --> 00:17:18,603
But I… I… I don't
know why I said that.
420
00:17:18,604 --> 00:17:20,104
Look, uh, Chuck, I think, maybe,
421
00:17:20,105 --> 00:17:22,106
that you better go
and apologize, okay?
422
00:17:22,107 --> 00:17:24,609
Oh, yes. You're right.
423
00:17:24,610 --> 00:17:27,112
Lady, I am sorry you are fat.
424
00:17:28,113 --> 00:17:29,614
Mork, Mork, I did it again!
425
00:17:29,615 --> 00:17:31,115
- That's it, I'm leavin'!
- Wait, wait.
426
00:17:31,116 --> 00:17:33,117
And don't look too close
for the tip!
427
00:17:33,118 --> 00:17:35,120
How about some cheesecake?
428
00:17:37,122 --> 00:17:39,123
I thought you said this
was gonna help business.
429
00:17:39,124 --> 00:17:41,626
- What's wrong, Chuck?
- I don't know.
430
00:17:41,627 --> 00:17:43,127
Hi, Mr. Robot!
431
00:17:43,128 --> 00:17:45,630
Hello, little girl.
How are you today?
432
00:17:45,631 --> 00:17:47,131
Fine, thanks.
433
00:17:47,132 --> 00:17:48,633
How much is three and four?
434
00:17:48,634 --> 00:17:49,634
Nine.
435
00:17:49,635 --> 00:17:50,635
Nine.
436
00:17:50,636 --> 00:17:51,636
It is nine.
437
00:17:51,637 --> 00:17:53,137
See, mommy, I was right.
438
00:17:53,138 --> 00:17:55,139
MAN: He… He's wrong.
439
00:17:55,140 --> 00:17:57,642
The robot was wrong!
440
00:17:57,643 --> 00:17:59,645
Can it, baldy.
441
00:18:00,646 --> 00:18:02,647
Ahh! Oh! Help me! Help!
442
00:18:02,648 --> 00:18:04,649
I am having
an emotional brownout.
443
00:18:04,650 --> 00:18:05,650
What's wrong with him?
444
00:18:05,651 --> 00:18:07,151
Oh, nothing. He'll be all right.
445
00:18:07,152 --> 00:18:08,653
Come on, Chuck. Let's go.
We gotta get out of here.
446
00:18:08,654 --> 00:18:10,154
No, he can't go!
447
00:18:10,155 --> 00:18:12,156
Mork, something terrible
is happening to me!
448
00:18:12,157 --> 00:18:14,659
I've got to go! Now! Now!
449
00:18:14,660 --> 00:18:16,160
"E" equals H2O.
450
00:18:16,161 --> 00:18:19,163
No, don't do that!
Water equals MC squared.
451
00:18:19,164 --> 00:18:20,665
( ALL SHOUTING )
452
00:18:25,671 --> 00:18:27,171
I-s-s-ugh!
453
00:18:27,172 --> 00:18:29,674
I-s-s-ugh! I-s-s-ugh!
454
00:18:29,675 --> 00:18:31,676
Oxygen! Oxygen!
455
00:18:31,677 --> 00:18:33,177
Shut up!
456
00:18:33,178 --> 00:18:35,179
There's nothin' wrong with him!
457
00:18:35,180 --> 00:18:37,682
He's gonna be all right.
458
00:18:41,186 --> 00:18:42,687
( MYSTERIOUS THEME PLAYING )
459
00:18:45,691 --> 00:18:47,693
All right, come on.
460
00:18:51,697 --> 00:18:54,699
( PANTING )
461
00:18:54,700 --> 00:18:56,200
Mork, we'd better hurry.
462
00:18:56,201 --> 00:18:57,201
It's all right, Mindy.
463
00:18:57,202 --> 00:18:59,203
No one comes in here
till Monday, anyway.
464
00:18:59,204 --> 00:19:01,706
( BRITISH ACCENT):
I'm sorry, Gwendolyn.
465
00:19:01,707 --> 00:19:05,209
Foxholes are for fighting.
466
00:19:05,210 --> 00:19:07,712
Poor Chuck.
467
00:19:07,713 --> 00:19:09,213
His circuits
are really going fast.
468
00:19:09,214 --> 00:19:10,715
Well, it's nothing
that can't be fixed.
469
00:19:10,716 --> 00:19:15,219
( ANGRILY ):
Get those birds outta here!
470
00:19:15,220 --> 00:19:16,721
Easy, old fella. Easy.
471
00:19:16,722 --> 00:19:18,222
It's gonna be all right.
472
00:19:18,223 --> 00:19:21,726
Who… Who is it?
Who's… Who's talking to me?
473
00:19:21,727 --> 00:19:25,229
It's your old buddy, Mork-O.
474
00:19:25,230 --> 00:19:26,230
I'm here too, Chuck.
475
00:19:26,231 --> 00:19:27,231
Remember me? Mindy?
476
00:19:27,232 --> 00:19:29,734
You rested your head on my bed,
477
00:19:29,735 --> 00:19:31,737
while Mork sponged you off
with Rust-Oleum.
478
00:19:32,738 --> 00:19:33,738
I remember.
479
00:19:33,739 --> 00:19:39,243
( WHEEZES )
480
00:19:39,244 --> 00:19:41,746
Hey, hang in there,
old buddy. You're home now.
481
00:19:41,747 --> 00:19:44,749
Ohh. Home.
482
00:19:44,750 --> 00:19:46,250
Oh, yes.
483
00:19:46,251 --> 00:19:47,752
That's the best place to die.
484
00:19:47,753 --> 00:19:49,253
Hey, you don't talk like that.
485
00:19:49,254 --> 00:19:50,755
Ohh.
486
00:19:50,756 --> 00:19:52,757
Your hands.
487
00:19:52,758 --> 00:19:55,760
They're warm.
488
00:19:55,761 --> 00:19:58,763
Reload the muskets!
489
00:19:58,764 --> 00:20:01,766
Drive back those zulus,
490
00:20:01,767 --> 00:20:05,770
in the name of the queen!
491
00:20:05,771 --> 00:20:08,773
Uh… why is he shouting?
492
00:20:08,774 --> 00:20:10,274
Maybe I can pull
his transistors.
493
00:20:10,275 --> 00:20:12,276
That way I can give him
a temporary jerry-rig.
494
00:20:12,277 --> 00:20:13,277
I can recharge him, maybe.
495
00:20:13,278 --> 00:20:14,779
Mork.
496
00:20:16,281 --> 00:20:18,783
Mork, what you want
to do is good,
497
00:20:18,784 --> 00:20:21,285
but you're only postponing
the inevitable.
498
00:20:21,286 --> 00:20:22,286
But I gotta do something,
499
00:20:22,287 --> 00:20:24,288
I don't wanna see him
die like this.
500
00:20:24,289 --> 00:20:26,290
But Mork, he's suffering.
501
00:20:26,291 --> 00:20:27,792
You're only going to prolong it.
502
00:20:30,295 --> 00:20:31,295
I… Yeah, but he…
503
00:20:31,296 --> 00:20:33,297
I think you should let him go
for both your sakes.
504
00:20:33,298 --> 00:20:35,800
Yeah, but it's not right, Mindy.
505
00:20:35,801 --> 00:20:37,802
That's not for you to decide.
506
00:20:37,803 --> 00:20:39,303
Yeah, but I gotta do something.
507
00:20:39,304 --> 00:20:41,806
I don't want to see him spend
his last few moments like this.
508
00:20:41,807 --> 00:20:42,807
Please.
509
00:20:42,808 --> 00:20:44,308
Can we have a few
moments, please?
510
00:20:44,309 --> 00:20:46,811
Sure.
511
00:20:50,816 --> 00:20:52,817
Chuck?
512
00:20:52,818 --> 00:20:54,318
( WHISPERS ): Present.
513
00:20:54,319 --> 00:20:55,820
How are you feeling?
514
00:20:56,822 --> 00:20:57,823
Afraid.
515
00:20:59,825 --> 00:21:00,825
You… You're gonna be all right
516
00:21:00,826 --> 00:21:02,326
after I finish doing this.
517
00:21:02,327 --> 00:21:04,328
What… Don't… No…
What are you doing?
518
00:21:04,329 --> 00:21:07,331
I was just gonna pull
some of your circuits,
519
00:21:07,332 --> 00:21:08,833
so you'll go back to
the way you were,
520
00:21:08,834 --> 00:21:10,334
so you won't feel
what you're feeling.
521
00:21:10,335 --> 00:21:13,838
No. No, leave me…
Leave me the way I am.
522
00:21:13,839 --> 00:21:15,840
But I've got to, Chuck.
523
00:21:15,841 --> 00:21:17,842
That way you won't feel
the fear anymore.
524
00:21:17,843 --> 00:21:22,346
I wanted to be human.
525
00:21:22,347 --> 00:21:26,350
Fear… Fear comes with
the territory.
526
00:21:26,351 --> 00:21:29,353
I'll have the lasagna.
527
00:21:29,354 --> 00:21:30,855
( SIGHS )
528
00:21:30,856 --> 00:21:34,859
It's my fault, Chuck.
529
00:21:34,860 --> 00:21:37,862
You were just a machine,
before I got a hold of you.
530
00:21:37,863 --> 00:21:39,864
I want to turn you back
to the way you were.
531
00:21:39,865 --> 00:21:43,868
Oh, then we couldn't
have been close.
532
00:21:43,869 --> 00:21:49,874
Oh… you… You let me
feel life, Mork.
533
00:21:49,875 --> 00:21:53,378
Please… let me feel
the end of it, huh?
534
00:21:54,880 --> 00:21:56,380
Yeah, but I don't wanna see…
535
00:21:56,381 --> 00:21:59,383
♪ Ring around the rosey ♪
536
00:21:59,384 --> 00:22:00,885
♪ Pock… ♪
537
00:22:00,886 --> 00:22:03,888
Chuck-O, I don't wanna
see you suffer like this.
538
00:22:03,889 --> 00:22:06,891
All my life,
I never had a choice.
539
00:22:06,892 --> 00:22:12,396
You gave me the ability
to make one,
540
00:22:12,397 --> 00:22:17,902
and my choice is
to die with dignity.
541
00:22:17,903 --> 00:22:21,405
Yeah, but you don't make it
very easy for me.
542
00:22:21,406 --> 00:22:24,909
Mork, you know what?
543
00:22:24,910 --> 00:22:28,412
We never finished
our "I spy" game.
544
00:22:28,413 --> 00:22:31,415
We were on "f."
545
00:22:31,416 --> 00:22:32,917
I don't think I can play.
546
00:22:32,918 --> 00:22:34,919
Please. Oh, please.
547
00:22:34,920 --> 00:22:36,420
Flea collar.
548
00:22:36,421 --> 00:22:38,422
( GASPING )
549
00:22:38,423 --> 00:22:40,424
Chuck, I can't go on doing this.
550
00:22:40,425 --> 00:22:42,427
It's… ( COUGHING )
551
00:22:45,931 --> 00:22:46,931
It's all right.
552
00:22:46,932 --> 00:22:48,933
I'm gonna take care of you.
553
00:22:48,934 --> 00:22:52,938
( GASPING ): I spy…
554
00:22:54,439 --> 00:22:56,441
Wi… With my little eye,
555
00:22:59,945 --> 00:23:01,446
Friend.
556
00:23:06,451 --> 00:23:08,452
( SLOW THEME PLAYS )
557
00:23:08,453 --> 00:23:14,959
( CRYING )
558
00:23:26,972 --> 00:23:28,472
MORK: Mork calling Orson.
559
00:23:28,473 --> 00:23:30,975
Come in, Orson.
560
00:23:30,976 --> 00:23:32,977
Mork calling Orson.
561
00:23:32,978 --> 00:23:34,980
Come in, Orson.
562
00:23:36,481 --> 00:23:38,482
Mork calling Orson.
563
00:23:38,483 --> 00:23:40,484
Come in, your blimpship.
564
00:23:40,485 --> 00:23:42,987
ORSON: Here I am, Mork.
565
00:23:42,988 --> 00:23:43,988
What did you do this week?
566
00:23:43,989 --> 00:23:46,991
Oh, sir,
I played "The Wizard of Oz."
567
00:23:46,992 --> 00:23:49,493
I gave the Tin Man a heart.
568
00:23:49,494 --> 00:23:51,495
Is that another
of your weird analogies?
569
00:23:51,496 --> 00:23:53,998
Oh, no, sir.
Just a movie metaphor.
570
00:23:53,999 --> 00:23:56,500
See, what actually happened,
sir, is there was this robot.
571
00:23:56,501 --> 00:23:58,002
He was nothing but
a bunch of nuts and bolts,
572
00:23:58,003 --> 00:24:01,005
and I helped him
become a person.
573
00:24:01,006 --> 00:24:02,506
You built a monster?
574
00:24:02,507 --> 00:24:03,507
No, sir.
575
00:24:03,508 --> 00:24:05,509
I made a friend.
576
00:24:05,510 --> 00:24:08,012
If you made a friend,
577
00:24:08,013 --> 00:24:10,014
why are you so sad?
578
00:24:10,015 --> 00:24:13,017
Well, sir, I lost him.
579
00:24:13,018 --> 00:24:14,018
Can't you make another?
580
00:24:14,019 --> 00:24:15,519
No, sir.
581
00:24:15,520 --> 00:24:18,522
Well, I could, but I
haven't got the heart for it.
582
00:24:18,523 --> 00:24:20,024
What do you mean?
583
00:24:20,025 --> 00:24:23,527
Well, sir… you know when
you create someone,
584
00:24:23,528 --> 00:24:26,030
and you nurture them,
and they grow?
585
00:24:26,031 --> 00:24:28,032
Well, there comes a time
when they…
586
00:24:28,033 --> 00:24:30,034
( VOICE BREAKING ):
They have to lead their own life,
587
00:24:30,035 --> 00:24:35,039
or… Or die their own death.
588
00:24:35,040 --> 00:24:38,042
And now your friend
is gone forever?
589
00:24:38,043 --> 00:24:41,045
Oh, no, sir. No.
590
00:24:41,046 --> 00:24:43,547
I'll always keep him right here.
591
00:24:43,548 --> 00:24:44,548
( CLEARS THROAT )
592
00:24:44,549 --> 00:24:46,050
Till next week, sir.
593
00:24:46,051 --> 00:24:47,552
Nanu.
594
00:24:51,556 --> 00:24:59,063
( UPBEAT THEME PLAYING )
39002
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