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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,569 --> 00:00:04,764 MORK: Na-no, na-no. 2 00:01:43,636 --> 00:01:45,228 You know, I love this part of the day. 3 00:01:45,405 --> 00:01:46,997 When we get a few hours to ourselves. 4 00:01:47,173 --> 00:01:48,333 Yeah. 5 00:01:48,508 --> 00:01:51,341 You know what would make it really perfect, little pooter precious? 6 00:01:52,612 --> 00:01:55,103 - Not again. - Oh. Come on. 7 00:01:55,281 --> 00:01:56,680 We came so close last time. 8 00:01:59,486 --> 00:02:01,681 - Oh, all right. - Oh, yay. 9 00:02:03,089 --> 00:02:06,286 I want you to know this is the third time since the 11:00 news. 10 00:02:06,459 --> 00:02:08,188 Oh, yeah. 11 00:02:09,095 --> 00:02:11,120 Oh, heh-heh. 12 00:02:11,898 --> 00:02:13,365 Alrighty. 13 00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:19,303 Okay. At a four-way stop, who has the right of way? 14 00:02:20,106 --> 00:02:23,542 Let's see. Any vehicle driven by a teamster. 15 00:02:24,544 --> 00:02:27,980 No. Now, Mork, with answers like that, you're never gonna get your license. 16 00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:30,348 I'll get served in restaurants where the maître d' goes: 17 00:02:30,483 --> 00:02:32,041 "You wanna sit down now?" 18 00:02:32,785 --> 00:02:34,065 Can you be serious for a minute? 19 00:02:34,220 --> 00:02:35,949 - Certainly. - Okay. 20 00:02:42,495 --> 00:02:45,430 Mommy and Daddy, I can't sleep. 21 00:02:46,299 --> 00:02:48,324 The neighbors are so noisy. 22 00:02:48,501 --> 00:02:50,765 By the way, what does "cheap floozy" mean? 23 00:02:51,704 --> 00:02:53,695 Never mind. Why don't you lie down next to Daddy? 24 00:02:53,873 --> 00:02:57,536 - Come on, Daddy. - I don't wanna lie down next to Daddy. 25 00:02:57,710 --> 00:03:00,907 Teddy, what do you see, Teddy? Teddy always see something. 26 00:03:01,080 --> 00:03:03,071 [GIBBERING] 27 00:03:03,249 --> 00:03:06,047 Over there, Teddy. Here we go, Teddy. 28 00:03:06,219 --> 00:03:08,483 You little sniffer. What is it? 29 00:03:08,655 --> 00:03:12,557 Teddy sees cookies. Yes, maybe I will lie down with Daddy. 30 00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:15,557 Mearth, you've got two choices. 31 00:03:15,728 --> 00:03:18,891 We can finish the story we started at naptime and you can go to bed, 32 00:03:19,065 --> 00:03:20,794 or you can just go to bed. 33 00:03:21,601 --> 00:03:23,728 I think the choice is pretty obvious. 34 00:03:26,039 --> 00:03:28,269 All right, while you kids have fun, I'm gonna work out 35 00:03:28,474 --> 00:03:31,966 why half the people on the road found it and the other half never lost it. 36 00:03:32,512 --> 00:03:35,504 Let's see, hand signals, we have a… Let's see, right turn, left turn, 37 00:03:35,682 --> 00:03:41,484 ethnic neighborhood, right on, for sure, totally, maybe we don't know. 38 00:03:41,654 --> 00:03:42,916 - Let's see. - Okay. 39 00:03:43,089 --> 00:03:46,058 U-turn, not me. U-turn… 40 00:03:47,427 --> 00:03:49,486 Okay, sweetie, here we go. 41 00:03:51,231 --> 00:03:54,394 - Are you ready? - Yes, Teddy's listening too. 42 00:03:54,567 --> 00:03:57,058 "The maiden told Rumpelstiltskin the king would behead her" 43 00:03:57,237 --> 00:04:00,035 if she didn't spin all the straw into gold by dawn. 44 00:04:00,206 --> 00:04:04,905 "Rumpelstiltskin offered to save her in exchange for her firstborn child." 45 00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:08,241 You know something, Mommy? I've heard this story so many times. 46 00:04:08,414 --> 00:04:12,817 That's where the maiden remembers Rumpelstiltskin's name 47 00:04:13,019 --> 00:04:15,249 and marries a prince. End of story. 48 00:04:15,421 --> 00:04:17,321 That's not how it ends, is it, Mind? 49 00:04:17,523 --> 00:04:19,889 - I'm afraid so. - Muh! 50 00:04:20,059 --> 00:04:22,960 You ruined that story for me. 51 00:04:23,129 --> 00:04:24,460 And now, you wanna know something? 52 00:04:24,631 --> 00:04:26,030 Wanna know what I know about Santa? 53 00:04:26,199 --> 00:04:27,791 - Mork. - He's… 54 00:04:27,967 --> 00:04:29,298 All right, Mind. All right. 55 00:04:29,469 --> 00:04:31,903 I wanna tell you something, Mommy, very honestly. 56 00:04:32,071 --> 00:04:35,302 These fairy tales are for babies. 57 00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:40,076 I really think I've progressed to Joseph Wambaugh. 58 00:04:42,248 --> 00:04:45,615 Mearth, you know, when I was a girl, I couldn't read enough fairy tales. 59 00:04:45,785 --> 00:04:48,276 I used to dream that I could spin straw into gold 60 00:04:48,454 --> 00:04:50,979 so that I could be a princess and live in a big castle. 61 00:04:51,157 --> 00:04:54,183 Get ready for a real winner now, son. 62 00:04:55,595 --> 00:04:57,426 It was a beautiful castle. 63 00:04:57,597 --> 00:05:01,260 I had my very own white stallion named Snowball. 64 00:05:01,434 --> 00:05:03,527 Or… No, no, Snowflake. 65 00:05:03,703 --> 00:05:06,001 Or something like that, something to do with winter. 66 00:05:06,172 --> 00:05:07,799 Anyway, we would ride Snowflake, 67 00:05:07,974 --> 00:05:09,454 or Snowball, or whatever his name was, 68 00:05:09,609 --> 00:05:11,133 to the neighboring castle 69 00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:13,871 where Ricky Nelson, who was the neighboring prince, lived. 70 00:05:14,080 --> 00:05:16,878 Ricky Nelson and I would get on Snowflake and go… 71 00:05:17,083 --> 00:05:18,948 [MORK AND MEARTH SNORING] 72 00:05:26,192 --> 00:05:28,217 [MORK AND MEARTH MUTTERING] 73 00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:35,858 MINDY: My stories aren't so bad. 74 00:05:36,035 --> 00:05:39,095 I'm a riot at bridal showers. 75 00:05:42,475 --> 00:05:45,706 MORK: All right now, son, I want you to add one cup of faditche. 76 00:05:45,878 --> 00:05:47,004 Put it in there, that's it. 77 00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:49,375 Don't be too liberal with that. 78 00:05:49,549 --> 00:05:50,811 And a little bit of nipgeeze. 79 00:05:50,983 --> 00:05:53,213 There it is, a little touch of nipgeeze there. Mm-hm. 80 00:05:53,386 --> 00:05:58,346 That's it. Just a pinch. All right, and one kosher salami. 81 00:05:58,524 --> 00:06:00,014 Here we go, there we are. 82 00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:01,922 Hey, Mearth. 83 00:06:07,166 --> 00:06:09,862 Mearth, your grandpops has done it again. 84 00:06:10,036 --> 00:06:12,095 I got a couple of tickets to the Ice Capades. 85 00:06:12,271 --> 00:06:14,136 Of course, I had to go to a scalper. 86 00:06:14,307 --> 00:06:16,901 Oh, you've been going to one of those for years, haven't you? 87 00:06:17,076 --> 00:06:19,135 [MORK IMITATES BUZZ SAW] 88 00:06:19,312 --> 00:06:21,075 [MORK AND MEARTH LAUGH] 89 00:06:21,247 --> 00:06:23,738 Very funny, Mork. Ver… 90 00:06:23,916 --> 00:06:26,180 Hey, this is a pretty sophisticated piece of equipment. 91 00:06:26,352 --> 00:06:27,546 What are you two doing? 92 00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:30,553 We're making gold for Mommy. 93 00:06:31,524 --> 00:06:33,151 You're making gold? 94 00:06:33,326 --> 00:06:36,557 What did I just get through saying? 95 00:06:38,164 --> 00:06:42,965 You've got to learn to pay attention, Grandpops. 96 00:06:43,169 --> 00:06:44,602 [MEARTH WHISTLES] 97 00:06:45,271 --> 00:06:48,434 But, Mearth, you can't make gold. Nobody can. 98 00:06:48,608 --> 00:06:50,769 That's why it's worth $400 an ounce. 99 00:06:50,943 --> 00:06:53,411 Oh, come on now, Pops. Four-hundred dollars an ounce? 100 00:06:53,579 --> 00:06:55,809 If you were saying mustard or sand, I could say, "Hey." 101 00:06:55,982 --> 00:07:00,146 But gold, that much? Get off it there, Dad. 102 00:07:00,319 --> 00:07:02,150 - I think it's ready, Daddy. - All right. 103 00:07:02,321 --> 00:07:03,845 Pops, can we borrow your tie, please? 104 00:07:04,023 --> 00:07:07,015 - My what? - What did he say? 105 00:07:07,193 --> 00:07:11,220 Didn't he say give him your tie? 106 00:07:11,397 --> 00:07:14,833 - You just don't listen. - All right. 107 00:07:15,001 --> 00:07:18,835 I'm about to turn this bargain-basement tie into pure gold. 108 00:07:19,705 --> 00:07:23,471 Oh, ho-ho. This is gonna work. I know it will, son. Here it is. 109 00:07:23,643 --> 00:07:26,134 Ready? Give it five seconds. 110 00:07:26,312 --> 00:07:30,612 [MORK COUNTS IN ORKAN] 111 00:07:30,783 --> 00:07:34,310 Yes. Yes. Yes. 112 00:07:34,487 --> 00:07:37,513 Yes. No. 113 00:07:38,724 --> 00:07:41,693 Mork, you may be my son-in-law, but think about this: 114 00:07:41,861 --> 00:07:44,796 I've never taken a picture with you. 115 00:07:45,264 --> 00:07:48,756 Come on, Mearth, let's go. See you later, Goldfinger. 116 00:07:49,101 --> 00:07:52,036 If there were advice I could give you, Daddy, don't sweat it. 117 00:07:57,310 --> 00:07:59,505 What went wrong? What? 118 00:07:59,679 --> 00:08:03,945 Wait a minute. This cheap tie is pure silk. 119 00:08:04,116 --> 00:08:06,141 The recipe calls for polyester. 120 00:08:08,521 --> 00:08:09,818 Yes. 121 00:08:09,989 --> 00:08:11,479 [CHUCKLES] 122 00:08:11,657 --> 00:08:15,491 Improvise. This will do it. Put it in there. 123 00:08:15,661 --> 00:08:17,959 You've got to do it for me. Please. 124 00:08:18,130 --> 00:08:19,654 Or I'll lose my government grant. 125 00:08:19,832 --> 00:08:22,665 There are no more government grants. Who cares? 126 00:08:22,835 --> 00:08:24,666 Yes. 127 00:08:26,772 --> 00:08:28,399 Yes. 128 00:08:28,875 --> 00:08:30,900 Yes! 129 00:08:34,547 --> 00:08:36,139 I've done it. 130 00:08:36,315 --> 00:08:38,909 They didn't believe me. I did it. 131 00:08:39,085 --> 00:08:44,284 We're filthy rich. We'll never have to pay taxes again. 132 00:08:45,691 --> 00:08:48,216 MINDY: You bought this mansion? 133 00:08:48,394 --> 00:08:51,830 MORK: We made 3 tons of gold. We could have bought Zambia. 134 00:08:54,333 --> 00:08:55,595 Wow. 135 00:08:55,801 --> 00:08:58,599 Yes, this is the downstairs reading room. 136 00:08:58,804 --> 00:09:02,706 Upstairs we have periodicals and books by the Wallace family. 137 00:09:02,875 --> 00:09:04,604 - Mork, it's huge. - Well… 138 00:09:04,810 --> 00:09:08,541 I mean, I've never seen a room with a horizon before. 139 00:09:09,081 --> 00:09:11,914 You're probably wondering how I get the books down from the top shelf. 140 00:09:12,084 --> 00:09:13,745 Uh, with our helicopter? 141 00:09:14,220 --> 00:09:16,347 Close, but no banana. Heh. 142 00:09:16,923 --> 00:09:19,050 [BELL RINGS] 143 00:09:22,828 --> 00:09:25,456 Yo, Ms. Beasley! 144 00:09:28,734 --> 00:09:30,964 BEASLEY: Yes, Mr. McConnell. Perhaps a little poetry? 145 00:09:31,137 --> 00:09:33,867 D.H. Lawrence, E.E. Cummings, B.B. King? 146 00:09:34,040 --> 00:09:38,636 Oh, not today. Maybe tomorrow we'll play a little one-on-one and a half. 147 00:09:42,348 --> 00:09:45,146 Well, Mind, should I show you the zoo now or later? 148 00:09:46,152 --> 00:09:48,985 [JET ROARING OVERHEAD] 149 00:09:49,455 --> 00:09:50,479 What was that? 150 00:09:50,656 --> 00:09:53,420 Oh, probably just the chef taking the gardeners home. 151 00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:56,084 - We have a jet? - Well… 152 00:09:56,862 --> 00:10:02,095 Oh, Mork. This is just all so much for anyone to have. 153 00:10:02,268 --> 00:10:04,327 Why do I feel guilty about not feeling guilty? 154 00:10:04,503 --> 00:10:07,995 Oh, Mind, Mind, Mind, my little WASPette. Heh-heh. 155 00:10:08,808 --> 00:10:10,435 For the first time in our relationship, 156 00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:14,671 I can provide for you and fund public television. So just humor me, huh? 157 00:10:15,982 --> 00:10:19,281 But, you know, this house is just… It's really too big for just the three of us. 158 00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:21,113 I don't know how I'm gonna keep it up. 159 00:10:21,287 --> 00:10:23,448 Well, reach out and touch someone because, you know, 160 00:10:23,623 --> 00:10:25,488 help is just a tinkle away. 161 00:10:25,658 --> 00:10:27,683 [BELL RINGS] 162 00:10:32,465 --> 00:10:34,990 Yo, staff! 163 00:10:45,211 --> 00:10:47,042 Mind, Mind, inspect them, inspect them, honey. 164 00:10:47,213 --> 00:10:48,646 I can't, Mork. 165 00:10:48,814 --> 00:10:51,806 - I feel like the border patrol. - Mind, you're the lady of the house. 166 00:10:51,984 --> 00:10:54,646 The least you could do is look down your nose at them. 167 00:10:56,922 --> 00:10:58,446 MINDY: Um… 168 00:10:58,624 --> 00:11:03,561 Well, I'd like you all to know that I'm very happy to meet all of you. 169 00:11:03,729 --> 00:11:06,994 And, uh, I'm looking forward to getting to know 170 00:11:07,166 --> 00:11:11,068 each and every one of you personally. 171 00:11:13,439 --> 00:11:14,701 A court jester? 172 00:11:14,874 --> 00:11:18,708 Yes. It's so hard to find one without a hump, Mind. 173 00:11:18,878 --> 00:11:22,370 He's got great references, though. He used to work for Marshal Tito. 174 00:11:23,315 --> 00:11:24,680 Well, thank you, everyone. 175 00:11:24,850 --> 00:11:27,751 Everyone grab a straw and go down to the swamp. 176 00:11:30,222 --> 00:11:32,713 They love me, honey. They really do. 177 00:11:36,195 --> 00:11:37,992 [JESTER CACKLES] 178 00:11:38,464 --> 00:11:39,988 [MORK LAUGHS] 179 00:11:40,166 --> 00:11:43,260 You know, it's so hard to find good wit nowadays. 180 00:11:43,836 --> 00:11:48,330 Yeah. Mork, I don't know if I'm going to be able to get used to all this. 181 00:11:48,507 --> 00:11:51,271 Oh, honey, now, come on. We're still the same people we were 182 00:11:51,477 --> 00:11:54,071 when we lived in that little, tiny cracker-box apartment. 183 00:11:54,246 --> 00:11:56,077 Mommy. 184 00:11:56,248 --> 00:11:58,409 How about a couple of sets of tennis? 185 00:11:58,918 --> 00:12:01,386 Mearth, where's that girl I hired to teach you tennis? 186 00:12:01,854 --> 00:12:04,084 Tracy? Tracy, come on in. 187 00:12:04,256 --> 00:12:05,416 Come on, take big steps. 188 00:12:05,591 --> 00:12:08,458 You hired Tracy Austin to teach Mearth, huh? 189 00:12:08,627 --> 00:12:10,254 Tracy. 190 00:12:18,571 --> 00:12:20,531 Come on, I'll show you how to blink back the tears 191 00:12:20,673 --> 00:12:22,265 when the line calls go against you. 192 00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:30,842 You hired the number-one woman player in the world to teach Mearth? 193 00:12:31,016 --> 00:12:34,042 Well, yes, we're getting murdered in doubles. We had to do something. 194 00:12:34,220 --> 00:12:35,983 Come on, hon, I've got Arnold Schwarzenegger 195 00:12:36,155 --> 00:12:38,282 waiting in the gym to give you a massage. 196 00:13:03,382 --> 00:13:04,940 Okay, king me. 197 00:13:09,822 --> 00:13:10,948 [QUENTIN SIGHS] 198 00:13:11,123 --> 00:13:14,217 Excellent move, sir. I didn't see that coming. 199 00:13:14,393 --> 00:13:17,294 Oh, please, Quentin. Are you kidding? 200 00:13:17,463 --> 00:13:20,296 Mr. Magoo would've seen that one coming. 201 00:13:20,466 --> 00:13:21,990 Why did you do that, Quentin? 202 00:13:22,168 --> 00:13:24,500 - You let me win, didn't you? - Yes, yes, sir. 203 00:13:24,670 --> 00:13:27,969 - Why did you let me win? - I value my job, sir, 204 00:13:28,140 --> 00:13:32,702 as someday I dream of opening my own truck-rental agency. 205 00:13:33,813 --> 00:13:35,337 The game is over. 206 00:13:36,982 --> 00:13:39,542 Great game. Great game, ladies and gentlemen. 207 00:13:39,718 --> 00:13:41,618 Good, good. 208 00:13:42,421 --> 00:13:45,982 Can I get you a before-dinner Bosco? 209 00:13:46,625 --> 00:13:50,152 No, you can't get me a before-dinner Bosco. 210 00:13:50,329 --> 00:13:53,958 You know why? You just like to say "Bosco." 211 00:13:55,568 --> 00:13:56,660 To be sure. 212 00:13:59,238 --> 00:14:01,297 I don't like him. 213 00:14:03,142 --> 00:14:05,633 What's wrong, Mearth? 214 00:14:05,811 --> 00:14:08,541 Oh, Mommy, I'm bored. 215 00:14:08,714 --> 00:14:10,045 I've been all through this place. 216 00:14:10,216 --> 00:14:13,049 All the rooms. I'm tired and I miss Daddy. 217 00:14:13,552 --> 00:14:15,645 I know, sweetheart. I do too. 218 00:14:15,821 --> 00:14:19,518 But I'm gonna talk to him about spending more time together, okay? 219 00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:20,920 - Okay. - Okay. 220 00:14:21,126 --> 00:14:25,153 As a little backup, I made an appointment with him. 221 00:14:25,331 --> 00:14:28,596 As a matter of fact, for Tuesday, in his office. 222 00:14:28,767 --> 00:14:30,894 Gosh, I hope I can find his office. 223 00:14:37,009 --> 00:14:39,876 QUENTIN: Madam, there's a gentleman here to see you. 224 00:14:40,045 --> 00:14:43,481 I believe he's called "Pops." 225 00:14:43,649 --> 00:14:45,640 Oh! Oh, great, send him in. 226 00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:48,285 Send him in. 227 00:14:48,921 --> 00:14:50,513 Very good. 228 00:14:53,058 --> 00:14:55,185 Pops. 229 00:14:55,361 --> 00:14:56,555 How are you, sweetheart? 230 00:14:56,729 --> 00:14:59,755 Where's that genius son-in-law of mine? 231 00:14:59,932 --> 00:15:01,957 - Mork buy you that coat? - I guess so. 232 00:15:02,167 --> 00:15:05,193 I found it in the trunk of the Rolls he gave me. 233 00:15:05,371 --> 00:15:08,340 Is everybody going crazy around here? 234 00:15:08,507 --> 00:15:12,807 Oh, honey, now, now, look, I know exactly what you're thinking. 235 00:15:12,978 --> 00:15:16,106 I mean, I've always brought you up to appreciate the simple things in life, 236 00:15:16,282 --> 00:15:19,843 but, honey, you have to understand at the time I was poor and stupid. 237 00:15:20,552 --> 00:15:24,818 Oh, no, Dad, listen to me. This has just gone too far. Look at us. 238 00:15:24,990 --> 00:15:28,153 Look at you and me and especially Mork. 239 00:15:28,327 --> 00:15:30,693 How dare you talk about Mork that way. 240 00:15:31,630 --> 00:15:33,325 [HORN HONKING] 241 00:15:38,704 --> 00:15:40,604 Thank you, Thomas. 242 00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:44,106 Come back around 5. We might need a ride to the front door. 243 00:15:44,977 --> 00:15:47,844 Don't bother washing it. We'll buy another one. 244 00:15:48,981 --> 00:15:52,644 Oh, Mind, darling, how are you? Big kiss. Mwah! 245 00:15:52,818 --> 00:15:54,683 Poppy, how are you? How are you? 246 00:15:54,853 --> 00:15:57,754 - Hello, son. How are you? - Oh, not too bad. 247 00:15:57,923 --> 00:16:00,016 Though I lost a $100,000 today. 248 00:16:00,192 --> 00:16:03,628 - Oh, stock market? - No, hole in my pants. Heh-heh. 249 00:16:04,330 --> 00:16:06,560 Oh, hon, time to play our little game again. 250 00:16:06,732 --> 00:16:08,962 - Right hand or left hand? Come on. - Mork, not again. 251 00:16:09,134 --> 00:16:11,034 Oh, come on. You know how it makes me feel. 252 00:16:11,236 --> 00:16:13,932 - Come on, come on, come on. - Okay. 253 00:16:14,106 --> 00:16:18,099 - Um, the right one. - Behold. 254 00:16:18,677 --> 00:16:22,841 Oh, there we go. Little oyster droppings here. 255 00:16:23,349 --> 00:16:26,443 - There we are, huh? - Oh, what a guy. 256 00:16:26,618 --> 00:16:29,985 Honey, I've always told you it's just as easy to marry a rich alien 257 00:16:30,155 --> 00:16:33,215 as it is to marry a poor graduate student. 258 00:16:33,392 --> 00:16:36,190 - Mork. Mork, we have to talk. - Poppo. 259 00:16:36,362 --> 00:16:39,229 Look, I don't want your presents. I want you. 260 00:16:39,398 --> 00:16:42,390 Just buying things isn't the answer to everything. 261 00:16:42,835 --> 00:16:45,929 Neither is penicillin, but it sure helps a strep throat. 262 00:16:46,105 --> 00:16:47,868 Mork, I mean, look at us. 263 00:16:48,040 --> 00:16:49,234 A minute ago I walked in here 264 00:16:49,408 --> 00:16:51,672 and Mearth was playing a game of human checkers. 265 00:16:51,844 --> 00:16:53,243 Did Quentin beat him? I told him, 266 00:16:53,412 --> 00:16:56,711 lose or else go back to being Gaddafi's food taster. 267 00:16:56,882 --> 00:16:58,873 I'll get a hold of him right now. Don't you worry. 268 00:16:59,051 --> 00:17:00,643 [DIFFERENT BELLS RINGING] 269 00:17:04,323 --> 00:17:05,654 Yo! 270 00:17:06,191 --> 00:17:08,921 Mork, this is what I'm talking about. 271 00:17:09,094 --> 00:17:10,186 Mind, I… 272 00:17:12,631 --> 00:17:13,757 Oh, yeah. 273 00:17:13,932 --> 00:17:18,335 [MORK SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE] 274 00:17:18,504 --> 00:17:22,668 - Will you talk to him, please? - Of course I will, honey. 275 00:17:22,841 --> 00:17:24,809 Now, look, son, 276 00:17:25,444 --> 00:17:27,378 you're the man of the house now, 277 00:17:27,546 --> 00:17:30,276 and I think you should run it any way you want. 278 00:17:30,449 --> 00:17:32,280 Thanks, Dad. 279 00:17:32,451 --> 00:17:34,385 Mork, we're gonna have to talk about this later 280 00:17:34,553 --> 00:17:37,283 because I gotta get changed to go to work, but I wanna talk to you. 281 00:17:37,456 --> 00:17:39,321 Oh, you don't have to because I resigned you. 282 00:17:39,758 --> 00:17:41,555 - You resigned me? MORK: Well… 283 00:17:41,727 --> 00:17:43,490 Well, what about my career? 284 00:17:43,662 --> 00:17:46,392 Well, if it means that much to you, I'll just have to buy you NBC. 285 00:17:46,965 --> 00:17:48,125 Yes, and he'll do it too. 286 00:17:48,333 --> 00:17:50,597 He bought me the New York Philharmonic. 287 00:17:50,769 --> 00:17:52,737 I knew Bernstein had a price. 288 00:17:53,605 --> 00:17:55,732 Well, I don't want things just handed to me. 289 00:17:55,908 --> 00:17:58,843 I wanna work for my career, for my success. 290 00:17:59,011 --> 00:18:02,105 Well, once you have NBC, you'll have to earn every penny. 291 00:18:03,982 --> 00:18:05,677 [MORK SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE] 292 00:18:09,288 --> 00:18:10,312 Olga. 293 00:18:11,390 --> 00:18:13,358 Looking good. 294 00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:16,925 Mork, what about Mearth? 295 00:18:17,096 --> 00:18:20,588 You just can't raise a normal child in this kind of an environment. 296 00:18:20,766 --> 00:18:21,824 Didn't you get my memo? 297 00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:24,093 Next week I'm sending him to school in Switzerland. 298 00:18:24,269 --> 00:18:27,329 Switzerland? All right, now you've gone too far. 299 00:18:27,506 --> 00:18:29,974 If that's too far, we'll send him to school in England. 300 00:18:30,142 --> 00:18:32,633 Mork. Listen to me. 301 00:18:32,811 --> 00:18:35,336 Mork, I'm not happy here. This isn't our home. 302 00:18:35,514 --> 00:18:39,473 - Let's go back to our apartment. - Well, this is our home, hon. 303 00:18:40,486 --> 00:18:43,182 Well, it might be your home, but it's not for Mearth and me. 304 00:18:43,622 --> 00:18:46,455 Well, now, wait a minute, hon. Where are you going? 305 00:18:46,625 --> 00:18:50,186 I'm going home to our little cracker-box apartment. 306 00:18:52,498 --> 00:18:54,432 - Here. - But wait, wait, wait. 307 00:18:54,600 --> 00:18:57,626 You can't go now. J.D. Salinger's coming over to shoot the bull. 308 00:18:59,104 --> 00:19:00,366 [DOOR CLOSES] 309 00:19:00,539 --> 00:19:01,870 She's gone, Pop. 310 00:19:02,040 --> 00:19:04,634 Ah! She'll get over it. 311 00:19:06,445 --> 00:19:08,436 Oh, Pops. Pops, reason with her. 312 00:19:08,614 --> 00:19:12,175 Tell her opportunity only knocks once unless you're Neil Sedaka. 313 00:19:13,585 --> 00:19:14,950 - Excuse me, sir. - Yes, Quentin. 314 00:19:15,120 --> 00:19:17,645 - Will there be anything else? - Oh, yes, yes. 315 00:19:17,823 --> 00:19:19,654 Let's fly down to Rio. It's Carnival time. 316 00:19:19,825 --> 00:19:22,350 We'll put on those big heads and try and get in the car. 317 00:19:22,528 --> 00:19:23,825 [QUENTIN SIGHS] 318 00:19:23,996 --> 00:19:27,955 I'd love to, sir, but this is the day I spend with my family. 319 00:19:28,133 --> 00:19:30,033 Oh, that's right. 320 00:19:30,202 --> 00:19:31,965 Well, take care and have a good day. 321 00:19:32,137 --> 00:19:33,900 - Good day, sir. - Say hello to Carmelita. 322 00:19:34,072 --> 00:19:36,370 I certainly will, sir. 323 00:19:44,483 --> 00:19:45,814 [WHISTLES] 324 00:19:48,654 --> 00:19:50,554 [ECHOING] Hello. 325 00:20:09,775 --> 00:20:12,243 Well, self-reliance is fine, 326 00:20:12,411 --> 00:20:15,574 but I miss being waited on hand and foot. 327 00:20:16,548 --> 00:20:17,742 I miss Daddy. 328 00:20:17,916 --> 00:20:19,611 Well, I miss Daddy too, 329 00:20:19,785 --> 00:20:23,585 but even more, I miss being waited on hand and foot. 330 00:20:24,690 --> 00:20:26,920 That's not very nice. 331 00:20:27,092 --> 00:20:29,219 I don't care if it's very nice. 332 00:20:29,394 --> 00:20:31,760 I'm spoiled rotten. I know that. 333 00:20:32,764 --> 00:20:35,892 This is no time for sensitivity. 334 00:20:45,711 --> 00:20:47,838 - Shh. - Da… 335 00:20:52,117 --> 00:20:53,880 Mork. 336 00:20:54,553 --> 00:20:57,613 - Mind. - Oh, Mork, you came back. 337 00:20:57,789 --> 00:21:01,054 I knew you would. I knew you'd listen to what I said 338 00:21:01,226 --> 00:21:03,717 and realize that love is what makes our world go round. 339 00:21:03,895 --> 00:21:06,989 Oh, hon, well, actually, that's real close 340 00:21:07,165 --> 00:21:09,497 because I came back to tell you that 341 00:21:09,668 --> 00:21:13,160 I'm going around the world, heh-heh, with my new love. 342 00:21:21,179 --> 00:21:23,374 Mind, not only is she intelligent and well-read, 343 00:21:23,548 --> 00:21:26,608 she can spike a volleyball from here to Key West. 344 00:21:28,453 --> 00:21:30,921 Kareem, eat your heart out. 345 00:21:33,959 --> 00:21:35,324 [BARKING] 346 00:21:37,796 --> 00:21:40,287 [SOBBING] Oh, no. 347 00:21:41,933 --> 00:21:44,663 Mommy, Mommy, Mommy. 348 00:21:44,836 --> 00:21:47,771 Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, wake up. 349 00:21:47,939 --> 00:21:49,600 Oh, I was sleeping. 350 00:21:49,775 --> 00:21:52,505 Sleeping? You were snoring so loud I had to have Mearth wake you up 351 00:21:52,678 --> 00:21:55,306 before you blew your adenoids across the room. 352 00:21:55,480 --> 00:21:59,041 Mork, you're back. I mean, you're home. 353 00:21:59,217 --> 00:22:01,310 - I mean… - Well, why shouldn't I? I mean, 354 00:22:01,486 --> 00:22:05,217 my name's on the mailbox, my clothes are in the closet, my hair's on the soap. 355 00:22:05,390 --> 00:22:08,882 Oh, you know, I had such a weird dream. 356 00:22:09,094 --> 00:22:10,959 What kind of a dream? 357 00:22:11,129 --> 00:22:13,825 Oh, I dreamed, um… 358 00:22:13,999 --> 00:22:17,059 I dreamed that we lived in a big mansion with, um, butlers 359 00:22:17,235 --> 00:22:19,863 and maids and Tracy Austin. 360 00:22:20,038 --> 00:22:21,767 And then you left us. 361 00:22:21,940 --> 00:22:24,738 Oh, Mind, I mean, how can you dream that? I'd never leave you. 362 00:22:24,910 --> 00:22:26,673 I mean, with you my life has meaning, 363 00:22:26,845 --> 00:22:30,303 and without you, I'd just be another alien forced to do his own laundry. 364 00:22:31,817 --> 00:22:34,308 It was just a silly dream. 365 00:22:34,486 --> 00:22:37,580 I dreamed you could turn polyester into gold. Heh. 366 00:22:37,756 --> 00:22:39,053 Make gold? 367 00:22:39,224 --> 00:22:41,522 [MORK AND MEARTH LAUGH] 368 00:22:41,693 --> 00:22:43,490 I mean, it's impossible to make gold. 369 00:22:43,662 --> 00:22:44,754 But diamonds are a snap. 370 00:22:46,031 --> 00:22:48,522 Mearth, go in the garage, get those charcoal briquettes. 371 00:22:48,700 --> 00:22:51,760 Mindy, you warm up the waffle iron. I'll go get my Oil of Olay. 372 00:22:52,904 --> 00:22:57,204 No, I don't want diamonds. And I don't want gold. 373 00:22:57,376 --> 00:22:59,071 MORK: Oh. 374 00:22:59,244 --> 00:23:01,371 Well, how about some French toast? 375 00:23:06,184 --> 00:23:08,914 Mork calling Orson. Come in, Orson. 376 00:23:09,087 --> 00:23:13,285 Mork calling Orson. Come in, Orson. 377 00:23:15,460 --> 00:23:16,552 Mork calling Orson. 378 00:23:16,728 --> 00:23:18,753 Come in, O Potentate of Pasta. 379 00:23:18,930 --> 00:23:21,262 ORSON: Laying down on the job again, Mork? 380 00:23:21,433 --> 00:23:24,459 Oh, no, sir. I'm just getting in my mood for my report to you on dreams, 381 00:23:24,669 --> 00:23:26,569 a wonderful aspect of Earth behavior. 382 00:23:26,738 --> 00:23:30,401 Dreams? That's wonderful. What are they? 383 00:23:30,575 --> 00:23:32,941 They're little images that appear in an Earthling's mind 384 00:23:33,111 --> 00:23:34,408 when he's sleeping. 385 00:23:34,579 --> 00:23:37,104 For example, sir, they come fast and furious, 386 00:23:37,282 --> 00:23:39,876 and sometimes they're out of sequence just like a Fellini film. 387 00:23:40,051 --> 00:23:41,609 [SPEAKING IN ITALIAN] 388 00:23:41,787 --> 00:23:43,448 [IMITATES CAR] 389 00:23:43,622 --> 00:23:46,147 [SPEAKING IN ITALIAN WITH FEMININE VOICE] 390 00:23:46,324 --> 00:23:48,815 They can take you to wonderful, strange places. 391 00:23:48,994 --> 00:23:51,519 They can haunt you: Ah! They can thrill you: Oh! 392 00:23:51,696 --> 00:23:52,788 - I see. - Yes, sir. 393 00:23:52,964 --> 00:23:56,297 Another frivolous Earth activity, like marching bands. 394 00:23:56,468 --> 00:23:58,129 Oh, no, sir. 395 00:23:58,303 --> 00:24:01,898 Dreams allow one to imagine strange and wonderful things. 396 00:24:02,073 --> 00:24:03,631 The most precious dreams of all, sir, 397 00:24:03,809 --> 00:24:05,743 are the ones that give you a hope for tomorrow. 398 00:24:05,911 --> 00:24:09,642 Till next week, sir, sweet dreams and na-no, na-no. 399 00:24:10,749 --> 00:24:12,410 [SIGHS] 31213

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