Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:03,004 --> 00:00:05,449
Na-no, na-no.
2
00:01:51,612 --> 00:01:53,056
Announcing the
red-carpet treatment
3
00:01:53,080 --> 00:01:54,624
for Grandma's return home.
4
00:01:54,648 --> 00:01:56,426
This is going to be
the most exciting party
5
00:01:56,450 --> 00:01:57,450
since the inauguration.
6
00:01:59,353 --> 00:02:00,630
Well, I'm celebrating too,
7
00:02:00,654 --> 00:02:02,632
but not quite as flamboyantly.
8
00:02:02,656 --> 00:02:06,103
I'm trying to make Grandma's
favorite dessert: peach cobbler.
9
00:02:06,127 --> 00:02:08,905
It looked so easy when
she made it. A peach cobbler.
10
00:02:08,929 --> 00:02:11,874
Can he make me a little,
fuzzy pair of shoes, Mind? Ar!
11
00:02:11,898 --> 00:02:14,911
I know, that one was
the pits. Ar, ar, ar!
12
00:02:14,935 --> 00:02:17,013
I'm really looking
forward to her visit.
13
00:02:17,037 --> 00:02:19,816
I've got my bedroom all
cleaned and ready for her.
14
00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:21,651
Don't worry about that.
I've turned my armoire
15
00:02:21,675 --> 00:02:23,153
into a hospitality suite,
16
00:02:23,177 --> 00:02:25,188
If she can stand living
with my moth collection.
17
00:02:25,212 --> 00:02:26,889
Come on, now, let
me show you, please.
18
00:02:26,913 --> 00:02:28,125
Come on down here, sweetheart.
19
00:02:28,149 --> 00:02:31,561
Let's fly. Fly like the wind.
20
00:02:31,585 --> 00:02:33,296
Let me show you what
I've got ready for her now.
21
00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:37,134
First of all, I have her
new trapeze to sleep on.
22
00:02:37,158 --> 00:02:39,669
And to make her feel really at
home, her favorite pinup boy.
23
00:02:39,693 --> 00:02:43,140
Thank you, Judy and Cissy,
24
00:02:43,164 --> 00:02:45,575
for that lovely
iguana dance of love.
25
00:02:47,100 --> 00:02:50,413
Oh, Mork, that's really
sweet, but somehow,
26
00:02:50,437 --> 00:02:52,482
I think Grandma would
prefer to sleep horizontally.
27
00:02:52,506 --> 00:02:55,852
Why, Mind? You said she
joined a swinging seniors club.
28
00:02:55,876 --> 00:02:57,854
There's not that
kind of swinging.
29
00:02:57,878 --> 00:02:59,523
You see, it's a group
of active older people
30
00:02:59,547 --> 00:03:02,025
who believe that life doesn't
have to be dull after 60.
31
00:03:02,049 --> 00:03:03,329
Oh, unless you watch Tom Snyder.
32
00:03:05,452 --> 00:03:07,386
Look who's here.
33
00:03:12,593 --> 00:03:14,571
Grandma's back, and you got her.
34
00:03:14,595 --> 00:03:16,906
Oh, Grandma, it's
so good to see you.
35
00:03:16,930 --> 00:03:18,808
Oh, me too, Grams.
That goes double for me.
36
00:03:20,033 --> 00:03:22,100
Mork, back off.
37
00:03:23,470 --> 00:03:26,683
Well, hi, Mork. How's
my favorite spaceman?
38
00:03:26,707 --> 00:03:28,851
Oh, wonderful, Grams. Wait.
39
00:03:34,748 --> 00:03:36,059
Oh, marvelissimo.
40
00:03:36,083 --> 00:03:38,595
Thank you very much.
41
00:03:38,619 --> 00:03:40,963
Well, this is really
a royal welcome.
42
00:03:40,987 --> 00:03:43,032
A banner, a red carpet...
43
00:03:43,056 --> 00:03:44,501
and peach cobbler?
44
00:03:44,525 --> 00:03:48,137
Yeah, the kind that Grandma
used to make... I hope.
45
00:03:48,161 --> 00:03:50,840
Can you stay forever, Grams? Hm?
Can you maybe? Hm? Can you...?
46
00:03:50,864 --> 00:03:52,676
Oh, that's sweet of
you, Mork, but no.
47
00:03:52,700 --> 00:03:56,145
I can only stay three days,
and then I'm going on to Vegas.
48
00:03:56,169 --> 00:03:58,315
My group is having a convention.
49
00:03:58,339 --> 00:04:00,250
Yes, and it's her turn
to pop out of the cake.
50
00:04:01,709 --> 00:04:04,554
I only do that for the Shriners.
51
00:04:04,578 --> 00:04:06,389
Come on over here
and tell us all about
52
00:04:06,413 --> 00:04:07,824
how you like living in Boston.
53
00:04:07,848 --> 00:04:11,595
Well, Boston is really the best.
54
00:04:11,619 --> 00:04:14,897
Here, you got a little
something on your face. There.
55
00:04:14,921 --> 00:04:18,801
But living with my little
sister Mildred is never easy.
56
00:04:18,825 --> 00:04:20,937
Well, you know how it
is when they're that age.
57
00:04:20,961 --> 00:04:23,340
They think they
have all the answers.
58
00:04:23,364 --> 00:04:26,809
Well, I suppose I was the
same way when I was 70.
59
00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:30,413
But enough about
me. Now, tell me,
60
00:04:30,437 --> 00:04:31,648
what's the poop around here?
61
00:04:31,672 --> 00:04:33,783
Oh, that scoop. Oh,
we're gonna dish till dawn.
62
00:04:33,807 --> 00:04:35,151
First of all, uh,
Mindy got a job,
63
00:04:35,175 --> 00:04:37,854
I got a job, Carter
lost a job, awww.
64
00:04:37,878 --> 00:04:40,657
I wonder why peanut butter
was getting so expensive.
65
00:04:40,681 --> 00:04:43,526
And, uh, Brooke Shields
turned 40 on her 15th birthday.
66
00:04:43,550 --> 00:04:45,094
Uh, coleslaw's hard to reheat,
67
00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:47,063
and also, uh, they put
Walter Cronkite out to stud.
68
00:04:47,087 --> 00:04:49,198
Watch out, Grandma.
69
00:04:50,991 --> 00:04:53,303
Well, you did ask what was new.
70
00:04:53,327 --> 00:04:55,838
Grandma, we've planned a
special luncheon for you tomorrow.
71
00:04:55,862 --> 00:04:57,307
We've got a lot of
new friends in town,
72
00:04:57,331 --> 00:04:59,075
and we've told
them all about you.
73
00:04:59,099 --> 00:05:00,443
Not all, dear.
74
00:05:00,467 --> 00:05:02,779
The best hasn't happened yet.
75
00:05:02,803 --> 00:05:06,849
Well, dear, I do want to
meet all your friends, yes,
76
00:05:06,873 --> 00:05:10,086
but, say, I'd better get out and
bring in the rest of my things.
77
00:05:10,110 --> 00:05:12,989
Can I carry your barbells?
78
00:05:13,013 --> 00:05:16,581
Yes, dear, if you're sure
they're not too heavy for you.
79
00:05:18,485 --> 00:05:19,896
You know, honey,
your grandmother
80
00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:21,298
has been so sweet to me.
81
00:05:21,322 --> 00:05:23,833
Not one insult all day. Oh.
82
00:05:23,857 --> 00:05:26,469
I guess absence does
make the heart grow fonder.
83
00:05:26,493 --> 00:05:28,838
Well, Fredzo, are you
going to give us a hand,
84
00:05:28,862 --> 00:05:32,342
or are you just going to stand
there like a weed? Come on.
85
00:05:36,737 --> 00:05:38,448
Well, and so I told him,
86
00:05:38,472 --> 00:05:41,851
I said, "Take your hand
off my knee, buster,
87
00:05:41,875 --> 00:05:45,087
or you'll land a half-hour
before the plane does."
88
00:05:46,780 --> 00:05:49,125
Oh, Mindy, she's such a treat.
89
00:05:49,149 --> 00:05:51,260
Where do you get your spunk?
90
00:05:51,284 --> 00:05:54,464
Oh, I go to a clinic
for spunk shots.
91
00:05:55,823 --> 00:05:58,267
You know, Cora, you
remind me of my grandmother.
92
00:05:58,291 --> 00:05:59,803
Yeah, except you
don't have a mustache.
93
00:05:59,827 --> 00:06:03,440
Oh, Remo, that's not nice.
94
00:06:03,464 --> 00:06:04,574
Would be if she'd wax it.
95
00:06:06,867 --> 00:06:08,244
Oh. Oh, look at her laugh.
96
00:06:08,268 --> 00:06:10,468
Isn't she cute the way
her little cheeks shake?
97
00:06:12,673 --> 00:06:14,917
Mindy tells me that
you're off to Las Vegas
98
00:06:14,941 --> 00:06:17,787
for a convention
of swinging seniors.
99
00:06:17,811 --> 00:06:19,288
I don't think I ever
heard of them.
100
00:06:19,312 --> 00:06:22,925
Well, we travel a lot to
promote the rights of the retired.
101
00:06:22,949 --> 00:06:25,027
It's something like
the Gray Panthers,
102
00:06:25,051 --> 00:06:28,297
only we have leather shawls.
103
00:06:28,321 --> 00:06:29,833
And our slogan is:
104
00:06:29,857 --> 00:06:32,101
Bert Parks lives.
105
00:06:35,763 --> 00:06:37,407
Hey, I feel just
like one of the girls.
106
00:06:40,401 --> 00:06:41,433
Excuse me.
107
00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:46,716
Gee, Cora, you know, that sounds
like a really fascinating group.
108
00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:48,951
Yeah, it does. Mm-hm.
109
00:06:48,975 --> 00:06:52,389
In fact, that'd make a
great subject for a story.
110
00:06:52,413 --> 00:06:54,023
Grandma, would you
do an interview with me
111
00:06:54,047 --> 00:06:55,458
down at the TV station?
112
00:06:55,482 --> 00:06:58,294
Me, on television? Yeah.
113
00:06:58,318 --> 00:07:00,062
No, really, I think
there'd be a lot of people
114
00:07:00,086 --> 00:07:01,865
who'd love to hear
about you and your group.
115
00:07:01,889 --> 00:07:03,433
Oh, Mindy,
116
00:07:03,457 --> 00:07:06,569
nobody's going to
be interested in me.
117
00:07:07,895 --> 00:07:10,907
Well, I'll have
to get a new hat.
118
00:07:19,239 --> 00:07:20,784
Mind... Oh.
119
00:07:20,808 --> 00:07:22,318
I looked through
every nook and cranny,
120
00:07:22,342 --> 00:07:24,676
and I couldn't
find Granny. Ohhh.
121
00:07:26,212 --> 00:07:27,524
I just don't understand it.
122
00:07:27,548 --> 00:07:29,392
I mean, she was just gonna
go out and buy a new hat,
123
00:07:29,416 --> 00:07:31,895
and then come straight back
here and get ready for the interview.
124
00:07:31,919 --> 00:07:34,497
Me watch out now.
125
00:07:37,390 --> 00:07:38,835
What are you doing?
126
00:07:38,859 --> 00:07:42,338
Listening for thundering
beat of sensible shoes.
127
00:07:42,362 --> 00:07:44,441
Oh, I just better go
look for her myself.
128
00:07:44,465 --> 00:07:46,576
Oh, let me go with you, Mind.
129
00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:49,378
Grandma. Are you all right?
130
00:07:49,402 --> 00:07:52,415
Oh, I-I-I guess so,
131
00:07:52,439 --> 00:07:55,952
but I never was so
frightened in all my life.
132
00:07:55,976 --> 00:07:58,154
Oh, here, sit down.
133
00:08:00,747 --> 00:08:02,559
Look at my new hat.
134
00:08:02,583 --> 00:08:03,860
Oh, what happened?
135
00:08:03,884 --> 00:08:06,395
Oh, children, it...
It was dreadful.
136
00:08:06,419 --> 00:08:09,699
Well, I was just
walking through the park
137
00:08:09,723 --> 00:08:11,601
on my way home,
138
00:08:11,625 --> 00:08:13,703
and I...
139
00:08:13,727 --> 00:08:16,105
And I... I was mugged.
140
00:08:16,129 --> 00:08:18,240
Oh, that's awful.
141
00:08:19,900 --> 00:08:22,834
Don't worry, Grams,
you're... You're home now.
142
00:08:33,514 --> 00:08:35,992
Ma'am, we'll do our best,
but don't get your hopes up.
143
00:08:36,016 --> 00:08:38,461
We can't be everywhere at once.
144
00:08:38,485 --> 00:08:41,898
You know, there's
so many of them,
145
00:08:41,922 --> 00:08:43,733
and too few of us.
146
00:08:43,757 --> 00:08:47,504
I'm sorry, but that's
the way it is. Good night.
147
00:08:47,528 --> 00:08:49,506
Thank you. Good night.
148
00:08:49,530 --> 00:08:51,107
Oh, boy.
149
00:08:51,131 --> 00:08:52,651
Is that what they
call a cop-out, Mind?
150
00:08:55,702 --> 00:08:58,047
You know, that
really ticks me off.
151
00:08:58,071 --> 00:09:00,383
Three guys mug
Grandma in broad daylight,
152
00:09:00,407 --> 00:09:03,486
and the police can't
even do anything about it.
153
00:09:03,510 --> 00:09:05,354
Yeah. Mindy, I hope
you won't mind, dear,
154
00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:09,258
but I don't feel up to
doing that interview tonight.
155
00:09:09,282 --> 00:09:10,960
I understand, Grandma. Yeah.
156
00:09:10,984 --> 00:09:13,029
Listen, can I get you anything?
157
00:09:13,053 --> 00:09:14,163
How about a nice cup of tea?
158
00:09:14,187 --> 00:09:15,765
No. No, thank you, dear.
159
00:09:15,789 --> 00:09:17,299
Well, how about
some Jell-O with corn?
160
00:09:17,323 --> 00:09:19,769
No.
161
00:09:19,793 --> 00:09:23,506
No, dear. I think I'll just, uh,
go and lie down for a while.
162
00:09:23,530 --> 00:09:25,875
It... It just hasn't
been my day.
163
00:09:27,568 --> 00:09:28,811
Oh, Grams, if
you don't like that,
164
00:09:28,835 --> 00:09:31,447
how about some
tapioca with peas?
165
00:09:31,471 --> 00:09:34,017
Oh, Mork, thank
you, but, no. Oh.
166
00:09:35,576 --> 00:09:37,453
What's wrong with Grams, Mind?
167
00:09:37,477 --> 00:09:39,388
It's almost like they
let the air out of her life.
168
00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:42,992
Oh, Mork, mugging's
a terrible thing.
169
00:09:43,016 --> 00:09:44,561
It's too bad it's
not like on Ork.
170
00:09:44,585 --> 00:09:46,228
There, mugging is
when someone goes...
171
00:09:46,252 --> 00:09:47,986
"Mister..."
172
00:09:50,123 --> 00:09:52,735
Well, on Earth, you...
173
00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:54,604
You get roughed up and robbed,
174
00:09:54,628 --> 00:09:56,205
and it's really scary.
175
00:09:56,229 --> 00:09:58,908
Wow. Why would they do wanna
do something like that to Granny?
176
00:09:58,932 --> 00:10:02,144
Well, it's much easier to
pick on the elderly, Mork.
177
00:10:02,168 --> 00:10:05,214
They're less likely to put
up much of a resistance.
178
00:10:05,238 --> 00:10:07,483
You know, Mind, this is the
only planet in the universe
179
00:10:07,507 --> 00:10:09,118
that has no respect
for its elders.
180
00:10:09,142 --> 00:10:10,587
It's not much to
be proud of, is it?
181
00:10:10,611 --> 00:10:12,055
No.
182
00:10:12,079 --> 00:10:14,256
Well, I gotta go to work.
183
00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:15,391
Boy, I sure hate to leave Gram
184
00:10:15,415 --> 00:10:17,060
after she's been
through all this.
185
00:10:17,084 --> 00:10:18,661
Don't worry, Mind.
I'll take care of her.
186
00:10:18,685 --> 00:10:19,963
Oh, thanks.
187
00:10:19,987 --> 00:10:21,598
I'll make sure
she's well-protected.
188
00:10:21,622 --> 00:10:23,566
I've also realized
one thing, Mind.
189
00:10:23,590 --> 00:10:25,568
Granny's a member of
an endangered species.
190
00:10:25,592 --> 00:10:27,203
Oh.
191
00:10:27,227 --> 00:10:29,072
You know, they're gonna
expect me to fill the time
192
00:10:29,096 --> 00:10:30,707
with an interview
at the station.
193
00:10:30,731 --> 00:10:32,041
Oh, what are you gonna do?
194
00:10:32,065 --> 00:10:33,275
I don't know.
195
00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:35,859
Maybe I'll fill it
with an editorial.
196
00:10:37,270 --> 00:10:40,950
Yeah, and I think I
have a real strong topic.
197
00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:43,274
Good luck. Thanks.
198
00:10:56,456 --> 00:10:58,968
Cora's still asleep,
thank goodness.
199
00:10:58,992 --> 00:11:00,503
What kind of planet
are you running here?
200
00:11:00,527 --> 00:11:01,904
I mean, if this
happened back on Ork,
201
00:11:01,928 --> 00:11:05,407
we'd have those thugs
recycled into bedpans.
202
00:11:05,431 --> 00:11:07,644
Look. Here's Mindy's spot.
203
00:11:07,668 --> 00:11:09,545
The following is an editorial,
204
00:11:09,569 --> 00:11:11,080
and does not
reflect the opinions
205
00:11:11,104 --> 00:11:13,683
of KTNS Television
or its management.
206
00:11:13,707 --> 00:11:16,686
Oh, boy, wasn't she great?
207
00:11:16,710 --> 00:11:18,187
Good evening, everyone.
208
00:11:18,211 --> 00:11:21,090
This is Mindy McConnell,
and tonight I had planned
209
00:11:21,114 --> 00:11:24,326
to interview one of Boulder's
outstanding senior citizens.
210
00:11:24,350 --> 00:11:26,162
However, she's unable
to be here tonight
211
00:11:26,186 --> 00:11:28,831
because of a senseless,
unprovoked crime.
212
00:11:28,855 --> 00:11:30,633
She was mugged.
213
00:11:30,657 --> 00:11:32,635
This incident occurred
in broad daylight
214
00:11:32,659 --> 00:11:36,272
in a park where she has
felt safe for over 50 years.
215
00:11:36,296 --> 00:11:39,375
Crimes against the
elderly increase every year.
216
00:11:39,399 --> 00:11:41,844
What is the value of a
longer life expectancy
217
00:11:41,868 --> 00:11:44,847
if we're forced to spend
it behind locked doors?
218
00:11:44,871 --> 00:11:47,050
Well, today, my
grandmother was a victim.
219
00:11:47,074 --> 00:11:50,053
Tomorrow, it could
be you or yours.
220
00:11:50,077 --> 00:11:51,453
I don't have any answers,
221
00:11:51,477 --> 00:11:53,823
but something has to
be done about it now.
222
00:11:53,847 --> 00:11:57,026
We must get involved,
and we have to do it now.
223
00:11:57,050 --> 00:11:58,817
Thank you very much.
224
00:11:59,686 --> 00:12:01,130
What a girl.
225
00:12:01,154 --> 00:12:02,631
Boy, that should
get some action.
226
00:12:02,655 --> 00:12:04,100
Oh, you're not kidding, pops.
227
00:12:04,124 --> 00:12:08,805
Ohh. You're not kidding there.
Yessiree, bobcat. Oh, yeah.
228
00:12:08,829 --> 00:12:12,230
I'm mad as hell, and I'm
not gonna take it anymore!
229
00:12:14,667 --> 00:12:17,013
Hey, wait a minute.
What do you mean?
230
00:12:17,037 --> 00:12:18,581
No, sir, I don't have a mother.
231
00:12:18,605 --> 00:12:21,050
That makes me mad too!
232
00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:22,819
You leave my mother out of this.
233
00:12:22,843 --> 00:12:25,822
What happened? What...?
What's all that yelling?
234
00:12:25,846 --> 00:12:27,389
Oh, I-I'm... I'm sorry, Grans.
235
00:12:27,413 --> 00:12:30,014
But Mindy just goosed
my civic consciousness.
236
00:12:31,618 --> 00:12:33,395
She was just on TV, Cora.
237
00:12:33,419 --> 00:12:35,364
Mindy gave an
inspiring editorial
238
00:12:35,388 --> 00:12:37,166
on protection for the elderly.
239
00:12:37,190 --> 00:12:38,901
Oh, bless her heart,
240
00:12:38,925 --> 00:12:41,670
but I don't know how
much good it'll do.
241
00:12:41,694 --> 00:12:45,208
It just is not safe outside.
242
00:12:45,232 --> 00:12:47,143
I'm scared.
243
00:12:47,167 --> 00:12:48,878
I'm going back to Boston.
244
00:12:48,902 --> 00:12:50,512
Oh, but what about
your swinging seniors?
245
00:12:50,536 --> 00:12:53,582
Well, they'll just have
to swing without me.
246
00:12:53,606 --> 00:12:56,619
I-I think I'd feel a lot
better under my own roof.
247
00:12:56,643 --> 00:12:59,722
Now, I know you both care,
248
00:12:59,746 --> 00:13:02,892
but... But I just
want to go home.
249
00:13:02,916 --> 00:13:04,293
Well, if that's what
you want, Cora,
250
00:13:04,317 --> 00:13:06,863
but I wish you'd think it over.
251
00:13:06,887 --> 00:13:10,299
Look, I, uh... I'm afraid I
have to get to the concert.
252
00:13:10,323 --> 00:13:12,635
Okay. Excuse me, Grams.
253
00:13:12,659 --> 00:13:15,371
Pop, is there
anything we can do?
254
00:13:15,395 --> 00:13:17,073
I don't think so, Mork.
255
00:13:17,097 --> 00:13:20,309
She's afraid, and
she doesn't feel safe.
256
00:13:20,333 --> 00:13:21,610
Maybe a monthly check
257
00:13:21,634 --> 00:13:24,647
isn't the kind of social
security she really needs.
258
00:13:24,671 --> 00:13:27,083
You know, the money those
muggers took can be replaced,
259
00:13:27,107 --> 00:13:28,484
but the thing that
really burns me up
260
00:13:28,508 --> 00:13:30,853
is they stole her spirit.
261
00:13:30,877 --> 00:13:33,878
And how do you get that back?
262
00:13:39,452 --> 00:13:42,564
Hey, Gran, now, come
on, you can't leave.
263
00:13:42,588 --> 00:13:43,966
That'd be like giving up.
264
00:13:43,990 --> 00:13:46,903
If you do that, I mean, you'll
be afraid to go anywhere.
265
00:13:46,927 --> 00:13:49,772
Well, what...? What
can I do about it, Mork?
266
00:13:49,796 --> 00:13:51,974
You heard what
that policeman said.
267
00:13:51,998 --> 00:13:55,577
Oh, I wish those punks
could be in my shoes,
268
00:13:55,601 --> 00:13:58,769
and then they'd know how I felt.
269
00:13:59,639 --> 00:14:01,918
Wait a minute. Time-out.
270
00:14:01,942 --> 00:14:04,787
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
271
00:14:04,811 --> 00:14:05,988
Oh-ho-ho.
272
00:14:06,012 --> 00:14:10,259
Raindrops falling on the
fertile fields of fair play.
273
00:14:10,283 --> 00:14:12,594
Mork, what are you...?
What are you talking about?
274
00:14:12,618 --> 00:14:15,431
Well, Grandma, I think
I have a foolproof plan.
275
00:14:15,455 --> 00:14:17,535
I just... I just hope I'm
fool enough to pull it off.
276
00:14:41,982 --> 00:14:44,082
Come along, Clara.
277
00:14:45,418 --> 00:14:47,551
Comin', Cora.
278
00:14:49,122 --> 00:14:50,255
Ohhh.
279
00:14:52,959 --> 00:14:57,340
You know, dear, I just think I
had a blowout in my sup' hose.
280
00:14:57,364 --> 00:15:00,676
Oh, Mork, do you think
this is a good idea?
281
00:15:00,700 --> 00:15:02,879
Now, now. Now, Cora, it's Clara.
282
00:15:02,903 --> 00:15:04,914
Now, don't let your mind
wander, dear. Don't let it...
283
00:15:04,938 --> 00:15:08,351
Don't let it check out
with the baggage again.
284
00:15:08,375 --> 00:15:09,818
Now, if we're gonna
catch these rats,
285
00:15:09,842 --> 00:15:12,054
we're gonna have to
spread out the Velveeta.
286
00:15:12,078 --> 00:15:14,123
Come on, now, dear,
287
00:15:14,147 --> 00:15:16,458
and try and act like
an old lady. Hello.
288
00:15:16,482 --> 00:15:17,593
Well, I'll try,
289
00:15:17,617 --> 00:15:20,662
but I must admit, I
am a little nervous.
290
00:15:20,686 --> 00:15:22,932
In fact, I'm sacred to death.
291
00:15:22,956 --> 00:15:25,034
Oh, don't you worry.
Here, have one of these.
292
00:15:25,058 --> 00:15:26,835
Have a little prune daiquiri.
293
00:15:26,859 --> 00:15:29,171
Eh, no, thank
you, eh, eh, Mork...
294
00:15:29,195 --> 00:15:30,839
Uh, uh, Clara.
295
00:15:30,863 --> 00:15:34,643
Oh, dear, are you sure you
can handle these muggers?
296
00:15:34,667 --> 00:15:36,078
No, dear, you're
gonna handle 'em,
297
00:15:36,102 --> 00:15:37,413
just like we planned.
298
00:15:37,437 --> 00:15:40,182
Now, come along,
honey. Come along.
299
00:15:40,206 --> 00:15:41,817
I remember what my
first husband, Robert,
300
00:15:41,841 --> 00:15:44,653
said to me before he
died. He said, "Hon... Ahh."
301
00:15:47,680 --> 00:15:50,659
Oh, my son, the doctor.
302
00:15:50,683 --> 00:15:52,295
He never writes me anymore.
303
00:15:52,319 --> 00:15:54,863
He just sends money!
304
00:15:54,887 --> 00:15:59,635
Lots of cold, hard cash!
305
00:15:59,659 --> 00:16:02,771
You look, eh... You look
tired, dear. Shall we sit a spell?
306
00:16:02,795 --> 00:16:06,675
Oh, honey, let's do that.
Let's just sit... Set right down.
307
00:16:06,699 --> 00:16:09,300
Ah, oh, ohhh.
308
00:16:11,004 --> 00:16:14,883
Here we are. Oh,
this bag is so heavy.
309
00:16:14,907 --> 00:16:18,821
Too bad I cashed
all my T-bills today.
310
00:16:18,845 --> 00:16:21,324
Shoot, it's a shame to carry
around this much money.
311
00:16:21,348 --> 00:16:23,559
You know, we're
talkin' megabucks here.
312
00:16:23,583 --> 00:16:25,328
I mean, enough to feed, like...
313
00:16:25,352 --> 00:16:28,630
Oh, Mork, I think I see
somebody coming. I'm so scared.
314
00:16:28,654 --> 00:16:31,500
Oh, don't be
paranoid, dear... Ah!
315
00:16:31,524 --> 00:16:34,937
Oh, it's a minimugger.
Hold on to your bubble gum.
316
00:16:34,961 --> 00:16:38,074
Don't you ladies know you
shouldn't be out this late?
317
00:16:38,098 --> 00:16:40,142
Well, uh, thank you
for your concern, dear,
318
00:16:40,166 --> 00:16:42,078
but we're quite all right.
319
00:16:42,102 --> 00:16:43,379
It's dangerous here.
320
00:16:43,403 --> 00:16:45,448
I'd feel better if you
let me walk you home.
321
00:16:45,472 --> 00:16:47,316
Now, young man, don't
you worry about a thing,
322
00:16:47,340 --> 00:16:49,385
because my friend
here has brass knuckles
323
00:16:49,409 --> 00:16:51,320
and I have an inflatable
Doberman in here.
324
00:16:55,781 --> 00:16:57,548
Now take a hike.
325
00:16:58,851 --> 00:17:02,064
Well, all right,
but you be careful.
326
00:17:02,088 --> 00:17:03,165
Oh, we will.
327
00:17:03,189 --> 00:17:04,666
I guess I'll have to
get my merit badge
328
00:17:04,690 --> 00:17:06,424
in Girl Scout watching.
329
00:17:08,228 --> 00:17:11,773
Oh, dear, this doesn't seem
to be working out, Mork.
330
00:17:11,797 --> 00:17:13,275
Maybe we'd better leave.
331
00:17:13,299 --> 00:17:15,811
Now, Cora, Cora, Cora, we
came here to get mugged,
332
00:17:15,835 --> 00:17:18,314
and we're not
leavin' till we do.
333
00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:24,108
Oh, look, it's the road
company from Deliverance.
334
00:17:27,914 --> 00:17:31,693
Hello, boys. Squeal!
How are you?
335
00:17:31,717 --> 00:17:33,996
Ahhh. You've gotta
hold onto your wallet.
336
00:17:34,020 --> 00:17:36,832
There are muggers about
here. There really are.
337
00:17:36,856 --> 00:17:40,136
Clara, dear, they
are the muggers.
338
00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:43,139
Ohhh. Hello.
339
00:17:43,163 --> 00:17:45,041
Welcome to the park.
340
00:17:45,065 --> 00:17:46,675
Come on, Granny.
Give me that purse.
341
00:17:46,699 --> 00:17:50,179
No, no, trust me. It
doesn't go with your shoes.
342
00:17:50,203 --> 00:17:52,448
Hey, isn't this the old lady
343
00:17:52,472 --> 00:17:54,316
from this afternoon?
Circle the wagons.
344
00:17:54,340 --> 00:17:56,085
What's the matter,
you old frump?
345
00:17:56,109 --> 00:17:57,920
Didn't you get enough?
346
00:17:57,944 --> 00:17:59,988
Don't worry about a thing.
347
00:18:00,012 --> 00:18:03,125
Give me the bag, you
old bag. Oh, all right.
348
00:18:03,149 --> 00:18:05,827
I have a little Orkan
surprise for you in here.
349
00:18:05,851 --> 00:18:10,232
Eeeee. Eeeee. Eeeee.
350
00:18:10,256 --> 00:18:12,068
What's wrong with me?
351
00:18:12,092 --> 00:18:15,371
I feel like I'm 100 years old.
352
00:18:15,395 --> 00:18:16,505
Me too.
353
00:18:16,529 --> 00:18:17,849
What?
354
00:18:19,399 --> 00:18:22,878
Mork, they sound so old.
355
00:18:22,902 --> 00:18:24,380
Well, they are, Cora.
356
00:18:24,404 --> 00:18:25,881
I put them in an Orkan age warp.
357
00:18:25,905 --> 00:18:27,783
On the outside, they're
young, but on the inside,
358
00:18:27,807 --> 00:18:30,252
they're celebrating
the bicentennial.
359
00:18:30,276 --> 00:18:32,788
Grab 'em, you guys.
360
00:18:32,812 --> 00:18:35,424
Oh, I gotta sit down.
361
00:18:35,448 --> 00:18:36,925
You just take a little nap.
362
00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:40,262
We'll wake you up when the
Republicans revoke your pension.
363
00:18:40,286 --> 00:18:42,698
Wait. No, no. Don't
you dare. Don't...
364
00:18:46,426 --> 00:18:47,536
One down.
365
00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:49,205
Hand over the watch, Granny.
366
00:18:49,229 --> 00:18:50,573
No, no, please.
367
00:18:50,597 --> 00:18:52,475
Not that. My
husband gave me that.
368
00:18:52,499 --> 00:18:55,111
Now, come on. You don't
have to give them anything.
369
00:18:55,135 --> 00:18:57,146
Remember, they're
in your shoes now.
370
00:18:57,170 --> 00:19:00,015
Eh, now, what was I saying?
371
00:19:00,039 --> 00:19:03,285
Oh, yes, I said,
"Let's have the watch."
372
00:19:03,309 --> 00:19:07,323
Stick it in your nose,
and blow it out your ear.
373
00:19:16,556 --> 00:19:18,066
Gram, I didn't know
you knew karate.
374
00:19:18,090 --> 00:19:20,902
Well, I don't, but I
love Bruce Lee movies.
375
00:19:20,926 --> 00:19:23,305
Enter the granny.
376
00:19:23,329 --> 00:19:25,307
Oh, I don't know
what you've done to us,
377
00:19:25,331 --> 00:19:27,009
but you're gonna pay for it.
378
00:19:27,033 --> 00:19:30,412
All right, here's a
down payment, sucker.
379
00:19:32,772 --> 00:19:35,384
Pick on helpless
people, will you?
380
00:19:37,310 --> 00:19:39,355
Somebody grab her purse.
381
00:19:39,379 --> 00:19:42,090
And then carry me to the car.
382
00:19:42,114 --> 00:19:44,260
Did you hear that?
They want your purse.
383
00:19:44,284 --> 00:19:45,761
Why don't you just
give it to 'em, dear?
384
00:19:45,785 --> 00:19:49,365
Why, you're absolutely
right, Clara. How rude of me.
385
00:19:49,389 --> 00:19:52,829
No, no, no, honey, take mine.
It's industrial strength. Oh.
386
00:19:59,332 --> 00:20:02,278
Look, we did it.
We gotta quit now.
387
00:20:03,436 --> 00:20:04,913
There they are, officer.
388
00:20:04,937 --> 00:20:08,083
Slap the cuffs on 'em,
and throw the book at 'em.
389
00:20:08,107 --> 00:20:10,619
Oh, you're a good Boy Scout.
390
00:20:10,643 --> 00:20:12,188
Come on, let's go.
391
00:20:12,212 --> 00:20:17,426
Officer, officer, these men
mugged me this afternoon.
392
00:20:17,450 --> 00:20:18,494
They did? Yeah.
393
00:20:18,518 --> 00:20:20,162
It looks like you picked
on the wrong lady.
394
00:20:20,186 --> 00:20:21,430
All right. Straighten up.
395
00:20:21,454 --> 00:20:24,200
Sure, that's easy
for you to say.
396
00:20:24,224 --> 00:20:25,501
You really roughed 'em up.
397
00:20:25,525 --> 00:20:27,969
Oh, we did it in
a ladylike fashion.
398
00:20:27,993 --> 00:20:30,038
Well, you ladies will
have to file a report later.
399
00:20:30,062 --> 00:20:31,495
You got it, blue eyes.
400
00:20:33,566 --> 00:20:36,078
Ha-ha! Ooh. Mm-mmm.
401
00:20:36,102 --> 00:20:37,580
Young man.
402
00:20:37,604 --> 00:20:41,983
You deserve a very
special merit badge.
403
00:20:42,007 --> 00:20:43,419
Who needs merit badges?
404
00:20:43,443 --> 00:20:45,487
For this, I'll make
the cover of Boys' Life.
405
00:20:45,511 --> 00:20:46,511
Let's go.
406
00:20:49,148 --> 00:20:50,459
Well, Clara.
407
00:20:50,483 --> 00:20:51,660
Well, Cora.
408
00:20:51,684 --> 00:20:53,295
Shall we head on home?
409
00:20:53,319 --> 00:20:56,565
Well, honey, let's just
take a hike ourselves.
410
00:20:56,589 --> 00:20:59,602
You know, what a
day this has been.
411
00:20:59,626 --> 00:21:02,170
Oh, oh. I better get
this girdle back to Mindy.
412
00:21:02,194 --> 00:21:03,706
It's startin' to
ride up a little.
413
00:21:09,902 --> 00:21:12,948
Come on, everybody.
Let's get going, Cora.
414
00:21:12,972 --> 00:21:14,149
We gotta get to the airport
415
00:21:14,173 --> 00:21:16,585
or you're gonna miss
that shuttle to Las Vegas.
416
00:21:16,609 --> 00:21:19,243
Oh, hold your water, Fredzo.
417
00:21:20,346 --> 00:21:22,258
Fredzo. I'm gonna miss that.
418
00:21:22,282 --> 00:21:26,027
Oh, I'm so glad to have
my wallet back again.
419
00:21:26,051 --> 00:21:27,463
You know, they
didn't even wrinkle
420
00:21:27,487 --> 00:21:29,665
that picture of Willie Nelson.
421
00:21:31,658 --> 00:21:33,535
Oh, I'm gonna miss you, Gram.
422
00:21:33,559 --> 00:21:35,170
Next time you're gonna
have to stay longer.
423
00:21:35,194 --> 00:21:37,105
Three days is not long enough.
424
00:21:37,129 --> 00:21:38,507
No. Well, I promise, dear.
425
00:21:38,531 --> 00:21:41,051
Good. Come on,
Mork. We're ready to go.
426
00:21:45,772 --> 00:21:47,883
What are you
doing in that outfit?
427
00:21:47,907 --> 00:21:51,307
It's not the same outfit,
Mind. It's... It's a bolder print.
428
00:21:52,512 --> 00:21:53,989
Stunning.
429
00:21:54,013 --> 00:21:56,892
Oh, you're just jealous because
you don't have legs like that.
430
00:21:57,917 --> 00:21:59,428
Mork, enough is enough.
431
00:21:59,452 --> 00:22:00,763
I know, I should
have worn the pink.
432
00:22:00,787 --> 00:22:02,431
It would have gone
better with blue hair.
433
00:22:03,790 --> 00:22:06,669
Oh, Mindy, don't
be hard on Mork.
434
00:22:06,693 --> 00:22:10,606
After all, if it hadn't been for
his dressing up to look like me,
435
00:22:10,630 --> 00:22:13,008
I'd still be in a blue funk.
436
00:22:13,032 --> 00:22:16,011
We owe him a lot.
437
00:22:16,035 --> 00:22:18,847
Well, I guess you're right.
We do owe you a lot, Mork.
438
00:22:18,871 --> 00:22:21,517
After all, you did help
Grandma get her spirit back.
439
00:22:21,541 --> 00:22:23,084
But, Clara, dear,
440
00:22:23,108 --> 00:22:27,088
will you please change
the dress for me?
441
00:22:27,112 --> 00:22:30,793
All of you, I... I just want
you to know that I have a date
442
00:22:30,817 --> 00:22:33,829
with a very wonderful
gentleman caller this evening.
443
00:22:33,853 --> 00:22:34,853
You do? Yeah.
444
00:22:36,021 --> 00:22:37,800
Oh. Comin', darlin'. Oh, no.
445
00:22:37,824 --> 00:22:40,157
Shh, don't spoil
it. Don't spoil it.
446
00:22:42,795 --> 00:22:44,272
Hi, Clara, you ready?
447
00:22:44,296 --> 00:22:45,741
Oh, yes, darlin'.
448
00:22:45,765 --> 00:22:48,677
Now, we're gonna be
crossing a very, very wide street,
449
00:22:48,701 --> 00:22:51,313
so don't wait up.
450
00:22:51,337 --> 00:22:55,250
Why don't you tell me more
about your grandfather?
451
00:23:04,817 --> 00:23:08,497
Mork calling Orson.
Come in, Orson.
452
00:23:08,521 --> 00:23:12,401
Mork calling Orson.
Come in, Orson.
453
00:23:12,425 --> 00:23:13,635
Oh, don't fail me now.
454
00:23:13,659 --> 00:23:16,204
Oh. Oh, yeah. Oh,
yeah. Mmm, yeah.
455
00:23:16,228 --> 00:23:18,607
Mork calling Orson. Come
in, my main mammoth.
456
00:23:20,099 --> 00:23:22,478
Mork, now what's
gotten into you?
457
00:23:22,502 --> 00:23:25,581
Oh, spirit's got ahold of me,
sir. Gonna make me dance.
458
00:23:25,605 --> 00:23:27,649
Ohhhh, yeah, mmm, oh, yeah.
459
00:23:27,673 --> 00:23:29,184
Come on, Beebs,
you'd be a better dancer
460
00:23:29,208 --> 00:23:30,586
if you had feet, but let's go.
461
00:23:30,610 --> 00:23:33,288
You've been warned
about Earth spirits.
462
00:23:33,312 --> 00:23:34,790
Are you possessed again?
463
00:23:34,814 --> 00:23:37,493
Oh, no, sir. I'm just
dancing to the beat of life.
464
00:23:37,517 --> 00:23:39,862
See, this week I learned,
sir, that without the right spirit,
465
00:23:39,886 --> 00:23:41,930
you don't stand a
ghost of a chance.
466
00:23:41,954 --> 00:23:43,965
How do you get
the right spirit, Mork?
467
00:23:43,989 --> 00:23:46,468
Well, most Earthlings
are born with it, sir.
468
00:23:46,492 --> 00:23:48,169
But the hard part is to keep it.
469
00:23:48,193 --> 00:23:49,505
How do people lose it?
470
00:23:49,529 --> 00:23:51,640
Well, in this case, sir,
471
00:23:51,664 --> 00:23:53,308
old people are
sometimes ignored,
472
00:23:53,332 --> 00:23:54,676
or they're pushed aside,
473
00:23:54,700 --> 00:23:56,912
and most of all, sir,
they're targets of abuse.
474
00:23:56,936 --> 00:23:59,347
They don't really lose it as
much as it's stolen from them.
475
00:23:59,371 --> 00:24:01,383
That's criminal. I know, sir.
476
00:24:01,407 --> 00:24:03,585
It's my theory, sir,
that... That old people
477
00:24:03,609 --> 00:24:05,521
have made a major
contribution to society,
478
00:24:05,545 --> 00:24:08,891
and they deserve a better return
than half price at the movies.
479
00:24:08,915 --> 00:24:10,959
If we really want to
make their years golden,
480
00:24:10,983 --> 00:24:13,562
I think we should pay them
with our gratitude and respect.
481
00:24:13,586 --> 00:24:16,064
Until next week,
sir, na-no, na-no.
36596
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof