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1
00:00:03,037 --> 00:00:04,677
Na-no, na-no!
2
00:01:33,260 --> 00:01:35,472
Mindy, dinner was delicious.
3
00:01:35,496 --> 00:01:37,707
Since Cathy is away,
I'm grateful for any meal
4
00:01:37,731 --> 00:01:40,343
that doesn't begin
with the word "instant."
5
00:01:40,367 --> 00:01:41,978
You certainly are in
a good mood today,
6
00:01:42,002 --> 00:01:44,614
considering Uncle Dave is
coming into town tomorrow.
7
00:01:44,638 --> 00:01:47,150
Yeah, well, we never
got along very well.
8
00:01:47,174 --> 00:01:49,719
It's just, well, he's always
accomplished more than I did,
9
00:01:49,743 --> 00:01:50,887
and he let me know about it.
10
00:01:50,911 --> 00:01:53,022
He's always been
a little eccentric.
11
00:01:53,046 --> 00:01:54,291
Is that why every
time you see him
12
00:01:54,315 --> 00:01:56,226
you break out in hives?
13
00:01:56,250 --> 00:01:58,195
Yeah, well, maybe
this time it'll be different.
14
00:01:58,219 --> 00:02:00,997
After all, it's been seven
years since I've seen him...
15
00:02:01,021 --> 00:02:04,067
and he reminded me of
his island in the Caribbean.
16
00:02:04,091 --> 00:02:05,957
And my mortgage in Boulder.
17
00:02:07,094 --> 00:02:09,272
Well, you can stop
scratching, Dad.
18
00:02:09,296 --> 00:02:10,640
I'll make him a great dinner,
19
00:02:10,664 --> 00:02:13,599
and tell Mork not to cut
his meat with his finger.
20
00:02:23,577 --> 00:02:25,054
Am I home yet, Mind?
21
00:02:25,078 --> 00:02:26,055
Yes, Mork.
22
00:02:26,079 --> 00:02:27,290
Oh, thank goodness,
23
00:02:27,314 --> 00:02:29,514
this is the sixth
house I've backed into.
24
00:02:30,151 --> 00:02:32,562
All right, I'll ask.
25
00:02:32,586 --> 00:02:34,131
Mork, why are you
walking backwards?
26
00:02:34,155 --> 00:02:38,568
I'm celebrating my heritage.
This is National Backwards Day.
27
00:02:38,592 --> 00:02:40,672
It's something that everyone
looks forward to on Ork.
28
00:02:42,663 --> 00:02:44,341
I'm in big trouble.
29
00:02:44,365 --> 00:02:46,176
Oh, Pops, nice not seeing you.
30
00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:47,232
Ha ha.
31
00:02:49,102 --> 00:02:51,881
So you've been out walking
around all day backwards.
32
00:02:51,905 --> 00:02:53,450
Didn't people stare at you?
33
00:02:53,474 --> 00:02:56,253
I don't know. I don't have
eyes in the back of my head.
34
00:02:56,277 --> 00:02:59,623
Well, I have to go.
35
00:02:59,647 --> 00:03:01,691
Honey, just make sure
you turn him around
36
00:03:01,715 --> 00:03:03,627
by the time Dave gets here.
37
00:03:03,651 --> 00:03:04,994
Pops, don't start
scratching yet.
38
00:03:05,018 --> 00:03:06,658
That holiday's not
until next month.
39
00:03:09,956 --> 00:03:12,669
So Mork, how long does
National Backwards Day last?
40
00:03:12,693 --> 00:03:13,770
In Earth years, Mind?
41
00:03:13,794 --> 00:03:15,071
Mork...
42
00:03:15,095 --> 00:03:18,841
It's over, Mind. By
the way, who's Dave?
43
00:03:18,865 --> 00:03:20,210
Oh, Dave is Dad's brother.
44
00:03:20,234 --> 00:03:22,279
Pop has a biological brother?
45
00:03:22,303 --> 00:03:24,548
Huzzah, huzzah, huzzah!
46
00:03:24,572 --> 00:03:26,849
Is he older, younger?
Male, female?
47
00:03:26,873 --> 00:03:29,752
Well, he's older...
48
00:03:29,776 --> 00:03:32,189
and brothers are almost
usually always male.
49
00:03:32,213 --> 00:03:33,945
Oh, not Dr. Joyce Brothers.
50
00:03:36,617 --> 00:03:37,860
It's been years since we've seen
51
00:03:37,884 --> 00:03:39,396
Uncle Dave and Aunt Caroline.
52
00:03:39,420 --> 00:03:41,298
Dad really wants to
impress his brother,
53
00:03:41,322 --> 00:03:43,600
so, please, try to
act like an earthling.
54
00:03:43,624 --> 00:03:45,464
You got it, Mind. Who
do you want me to be?
55
00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:53,600
Catchy tune.
56
00:03:56,537 --> 00:03:58,114
Oh, it's here. It's my
package from Ork.
57
00:03:58,138 --> 00:03:59,482
I ordered it special delivery.
58
00:03:59,506 --> 00:04:01,706
Ooh...
59
00:04:03,644 --> 00:04:05,522
Thank you, and no tip.
You were slow opening.
60
00:04:07,781 --> 00:04:08,958
Oh, yum.
61
00:04:08,982 --> 00:04:11,528
Oh, Mind, ceremonial
food for Backwards Day.
62
00:04:11,552 --> 00:04:12,529
What is it?
63
00:04:12,553 --> 00:04:13,530
It's called fleck.
64
00:04:13,554 --> 00:04:14,931
Fleck? What's that?
65
00:04:14,955 --> 00:04:17,867
It's like nargle, except
you don't grow feathers.
66
00:04:17,891 --> 00:04:19,936
It doesn't look like food.
67
00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:21,070
These are the seeds, Mind.
68
00:04:21,094 --> 00:04:23,039
You just plant them,
and up comes fleck.
69
00:04:23,063 --> 00:04:24,474
There we go.
70
00:04:24,498 --> 00:04:27,599
♪ Now, little one, In time
and growth we'll know ♪
71
00:04:33,840 --> 00:04:36,219
Mork, on Ork, do all
plants grow that fast?
72
00:04:36,243 --> 00:04:37,454
Yes, Mindy.
73
00:04:37,478 --> 00:04:39,918
On Ork, even the begonias
have stretch marks.
74
00:04:48,822 --> 00:04:50,667
Hello, Caroline. Fred, dear...
75
00:04:50,691 --> 00:04:51,901
How nice to see you.
76
00:04:51,925 --> 00:04:52,902
Hi, Aunt Caroline.
77
00:04:52,926 --> 00:04:54,604
This can't be Mindy.
78
00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:55,772
Yeah.
79
00:04:55,796 --> 00:04:59,942
Oh, my, what a big girl
you've grown up to be.
80
00:04:59,966 --> 00:05:01,444
So where's that
big brother of mine?
81
00:05:01,468 --> 00:05:04,514
Oh, uh, Dave, dear,
Fred and Mindy are here.
82
00:05:04,538 --> 00:05:06,898
Oh, he just can't
wait to see you.
83
00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:20,196
Junior, as I make it,
you're four minutes late.
84
00:05:20,220 --> 00:05:22,299
I've bought
companies in less time.
85
00:05:22,323 --> 00:05:25,402
Yes, I know, Dave, but
it's wonderful to see ya.
86
00:05:25,426 --> 00:05:28,871
Wait a minute. This
is Mindy, of course.
87
00:05:28,895 --> 00:05:32,141
What a pretty
little girl you are.
88
00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:33,476
The outfit's a little strange.
89
00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:35,820
I don't know about
the sweater, the...
90
00:05:36,069 --> 00:05:37,580
Doesn't make any difference.
91
00:05:37,604 --> 00:05:39,616
Uncle Dave, it's
nice to see you.
92
00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:41,150
Good.
93
00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:42,641
I'll save those.
94
00:05:45,546 --> 00:05:48,291
You just move your little
Adidas into the kitchen,
95
00:05:48,315 --> 00:05:50,795
and let's get some goodies, huh?
96
00:05:51,218 --> 00:05:52,796
Yes, Daddy, dear.
97
00:05:52,820 --> 00:05:54,864
Oh, I don't know
what I'd do without her,
98
00:05:54,888 --> 00:05:56,187
I think I'll keep her.
99
00:05:58,559 --> 00:06:01,438
Tell me something, junior...
100
00:06:01,462 --> 00:06:03,982
where's your ball and chain?
101
00:06:06,767 --> 00:06:07,811
My what?
102
00:06:07,835 --> 00:06:10,613
I-I think he means
your little wifey.
103
00:06:10,637 --> 00:06:14,484
Oh, oh. Cathy's in
Chicago this weekend.
104
00:06:14,508 --> 00:06:18,555
You let her
travel... by herself?
105
00:06:18,579 --> 00:06:21,290
Oh, yeah, she plays
flute in a chamber group.
106
00:06:21,314 --> 00:06:22,692
Fascinating.
107
00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:26,563
No. No, they're very good.
108
00:06:26,587 --> 00:06:27,964
Oh, come on, junior,
109
00:06:27,988 --> 00:06:29,566
you gotta be kidding me.
110
00:06:29,590 --> 00:06:32,235
I mean, you got your wife
playing the flute in Chicago,
111
00:06:32,259 --> 00:06:33,759
putting a stick in her face?
112
00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:37,195
You can't cut it on your own?
113
00:06:38,999 --> 00:06:41,310
Hey, tell me
something, incidentally...
114
00:06:41,334 --> 00:06:42,311
how's the arm?
115
00:06:42,335 --> 00:06:43,880
It itches.
116
00:06:43,904 --> 00:06:46,048
Well, I mean, you're the
maestro, the guy with the baton.
117
00:06:46,072 --> 00:06:48,418
How about a little building
up of the biceps, huh?
118
00:06:48,442 --> 00:06:51,120
Oh, well, no, Dave.
Come on, now.
119
00:06:51,144 --> 00:06:54,190
I think we're a little old
for all of this, don't you?
120
00:06:54,214 --> 00:06:56,393
What do you mean,
"a little old," junior?
121
00:06:56,417 --> 00:07:00,752
Oh, no. You're never too
old for the taste of victory.
122
00:07:01,889 --> 00:07:02,899
Okay.
123
00:07:02,923 --> 00:07:05,483
All right? All right?
124
00:07:08,429 --> 00:07:10,072
Here we go. Okay?
125
00:07:10,096 --> 00:07:12,196
Okay. One more for me.
126
00:07:16,970 --> 00:07:19,370
Now you have a
real disadvantage.
127
00:07:20,206 --> 00:07:21,651
Okay. All right. Ready?
128
00:07:21,675 --> 00:07:22,675
Yeah.
129
00:07:27,848 --> 00:07:30,059
Hello. Dave McConnell here.
130
00:07:30,083 --> 00:07:31,327
About what?
131
00:07:31,351 --> 00:07:33,696
You want me to speak to
the Boulder Association?
132
00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:34,798
Uncle Dave...
133
00:07:34,822 --> 00:07:36,699
Wait a minute.
134
00:07:36,723 --> 00:07:38,435
Um, I thought you
and Aunt Caroline
135
00:07:38,459 --> 00:07:40,470
were having dinner
at my house tonight.
136
00:07:40,494 --> 00:07:41,604
Yeah, that's right,
137
00:07:41,628 --> 00:07:43,205
but what time are we
eating, sweetheart?
138
00:07:43,229 --> 00:07:45,041
Uh... 7:30?
139
00:07:45,065 --> 00:07:46,843
7:30... 7:30...
140
00:07:46,867 --> 00:07:49,646
Listen, how about
9:00, okay, boys?
141
00:07:49,670 --> 00:07:50,950
I'll be there.
142
00:07:52,005 --> 00:07:54,405
Let's see, where
was I? Oh, yeah.
143
00:08:01,448 --> 00:08:03,793
Well, I guess some
things never change.
144
00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:05,929
Wrong, junior.
145
00:08:05,953 --> 00:08:09,420
No... this time you
didn't cry for mommy.
146
00:08:11,057 --> 00:08:12,201
Let's take a look at it.
147
00:08:12,225 --> 00:08:13,305
Awww.
148
00:08:17,764 --> 00:08:21,177
Mmm, this smells good.
149
00:08:21,201 --> 00:08:22,868
Mmm, is that good.
150
00:08:24,805 --> 00:08:27,238
Mind, how do my pants look?
151
00:08:29,175 --> 00:08:30,152
Very nice.
152
00:08:30,176 --> 00:08:31,153
I pressed them myself.
153
00:08:31,177 --> 00:08:32,321
Think I can get a better crease
154
00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:33,923
if I take them off first?
155
00:08:33,947 --> 00:08:35,358
Yes, possibly.
156
00:08:35,382 --> 00:08:37,426
Mork, could you help
me finish setting the table?
157
00:08:37,450 --> 00:08:39,496
Uncle Dave is really in a hurry
158
00:08:39,520 --> 00:08:41,330
and he wants to eat
as soon as he gets here.
159
00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:44,200
Well, maybe we could start
off by serving frogs' arms.
160
00:08:44,224 --> 00:08:45,802
We're not serving frogs' arms.
161
00:08:45,826 --> 00:08:47,506
See, we're already
ahead of schedule.
162
00:08:48,729 --> 00:08:50,172
You know, I don't
know why we're going
163
00:08:50,196 --> 00:08:51,541
to all this trouble
for Uncle Dave.
164
00:08:51,565 --> 00:08:53,543
I mean, he hasn't
been very nice to Dad.
165
00:08:53,567 --> 00:08:54,644
I'm making this big meal,
166
00:08:54,668 --> 00:08:57,028
and you made this
delicious dessert.
167
00:08:57,137 --> 00:08:58,247
My delicious... Mind...
168
00:08:58,271 --> 00:08:59,616
Are you inferring
that some of that
169
00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:01,117
has passed by
your perky, little lips?
170
00:09:01,141 --> 00:09:02,385
Oh, yeah. It's good.
171
00:09:02,409 --> 00:09:03,520
Mind, that was fleck,
172
00:09:03,544 --> 00:09:04,654
Fleck?
173
00:09:04,678 --> 00:09:06,389
And no earthling has
ever eaten that before.
174
00:09:06,413 --> 00:09:08,157
I'm going to be
all right, aren't I?
175
00:09:08,181 --> 00:09:10,527
Just be calm, and tell me where
you keep your stomach pump.
176
00:09:10,551 --> 00:09:11,928
Stomach pump?
177
00:09:11,952 --> 00:09:13,295
Oh, I didn't mean
to frighten you.
178
00:09:13,319 --> 00:09:15,879
We'll just have to use
the plunger. Open up!
179
00:09:16,023 --> 00:09:17,934
Come on, you're overreacting.
180
00:09:17,958 --> 00:09:20,169
I just ate a little, tiny
piece, and I feel fine.
181
00:09:20,193 --> 00:09:22,005
Will you sign a statement
to that effect, Mind?
182
00:09:22,029 --> 00:09:23,740
Sure.
183
00:09:23,764 --> 00:09:25,107
I guess if it's okay for Orkans,
184
00:09:25,131 --> 00:09:26,242
it's all right for you.
185
00:09:26,266 --> 00:09:27,977
Listen, Mork, there's
nothing wrong with me
186
00:09:28,001 --> 00:09:29,812
that getting through
this evening won't cure.
187
00:09:29,836 --> 00:09:31,596
I'll get it.
188
00:09:39,580 --> 00:09:41,940
I wonder if Uncle Dave would
mind if I tied her to a chair.
189
00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:45,227
Mork, what did I just do?
190
00:09:45,251 --> 00:09:46,328
Something like this...
191
00:09:51,424 --> 00:09:53,202
It must be the fleck.
192
00:09:53,226 --> 00:09:55,171
But I feel perfectly
normal right now.
193
00:09:55,195 --> 00:09:57,462
Mindy, it's dad.
194
00:09:58,799 --> 00:10:02,011
Mork, if I start acting
strange, cover for me, all right?
195
00:10:02,035 --> 00:10:03,846
I mean, Dad's got
enough on his mind.
196
00:10:03,870 --> 00:10:05,314
Be calm, be calm, be calm.
197
00:10:05,338 --> 00:10:06,838
Hello. Hi.
198
00:10:08,508 --> 00:10:10,286
I'll just put this over here.
199
00:10:10,310 --> 00:10:12,088
Mindy, you look beautiful,
200
00:10:12,112 --> 00:10:14,958
and, Mork, you
look... almost human.
201
00:10:14,982 --> 00:10:16,358
And I really want to thank you.
202
00:10:16,382 --> 00:10:18,394
I appreciate you trying to
make everything normal.
203
00:10:18,418 --> 00:10:19,896
Wait, wait, wait. What?
204
00:10:19,920 --> 00:10:20,897
Whoa!
205
00:10:20,921 --> 00:10:22,201
Take a look over here.
206
00:10:23,289 --> 00:10:24,934
Will you look at
that wall there?
207
00:10:24,958 --> 00:10:26,535
Mork, what are we looking at?
208
00:10:26,559 --> 00:10:28,137
You're looking right
there at that wall.
209
00:10:28,161 --> 00:10:29,772
It's amazing how the
floor and the ceiling
210
00:10:29,796 --> 00:10:32,308
kind of butt together.
211
00:10:32,332 --> 00:10:33,643
Well, Mork, that is interesting,
212
00:10:33,667 --> 00:10:35,778
but I think maybe tonight
it might be a good idea
213
00:10:35,802 --> 00:10:38,280
if we don't discuss wall
appreciation with Dave.
214
00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:39,824
All right. That's
fine, sir, I think...
215
00:10:44,144 --> 00:10:45,221
How about we sit down
216
00:10:45,245 --> 00:10:46,725
and have a little
snort before dinner?
217
00:10:48,314 --> 00:10:51,628
You know, it always
relaxes you. It relaxes me too.
218
00:10:51,652 --> 00:10:54,012
How about a little
toddy for the body?
219
00:10:56,156 --> 00:10:57,166
Mind, are you all right?
220
00:10:57,190 --> 00:10:59,357
Mork, I can't seem
to control myself.
221
00:11:01,294 --> 00:11:02,672
Why did this have
to happen tonight?
222
00:11:02,696 --> 00:11:03,696
I don't know, Mind.
223
00:11:04,798 --> 00:11:05,775
That's Dave.
224
00:11:05,799 --> 00:11:08,080
He never has
time to knock twice.
225
00:11:10,436 --> 00:11:11,413
I shall get it.
226
00:11:11,437 --> 00:11:13,604
No, wait. I'll answer it.
227
00:11:20,714 --> 00:11:22,224
What's she doing?
228
00:11:22,248 --> 00:11:23,381
The bunny hop.
229
00:11:30,657 --> 00:11:31,934
Listen, Mindy...
230
00:11:31,958 --> 00:11:33,302
What's going on around here?
231
00:11:33,326 --> 00:11:35,204
Hello. Hi.
232
00:11:35,228 --> 00:11:37,974
Hello, Caroline. Hello, Dave.
233
00:11:37,998 --> 00:11:40,009
Hello, umm... my name is Mork.
234
00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:41,966
I'm the Caucasian
help this evening.
235
00:11:43,136 --> 00:11:44,313
I do not live with Mindy,
236
00:11:44,337 --> 00:11:45,715
and it's a pleasure
to have you here.
237
00:11:45,739 --> 00:11:47,050
Yeah, all right... Kid?
238
00:11:47,074 --> 00:11:48,234
Thank you, sir.
239
00:11:49,442 --> 00:11:52,177
Come on, let's eat,
junior. Time is Krugerrands.
240
00:11:53,714 --> 00:11:56,492
It's nice having you
here, Uncle Dave.
241
00:11:56,516 --> 00:11:59,228
My, what a lovely
apartment. I just love...
242
00:11:59,252 --> 00:12:00,797
Please, please...
243
00:12:00,821 --> 00:12:03,381
you keep chattering, Mother,
we're going to miss dessert!
244
00:12:05,025 --> 00:12:06,703
Well, Dave, I certainly
hope you're hungry
245
00:12:06,727 --> 00:12:08,905
because Mindy has
prepared a wonderful dinner.
246
00:12:08,929 --> 00:12:10,339
Incidentally, incidentally...
247
00:12:10,363 --> 00:12:11,974
Mother, do you
want to pass along
248
00:12:11,998 --> 00:12:14,132
this fine bottle of
sauce to junior?
249
00:12:15,368 --> 00:12:18,815
"château-la-fête McConnell."
250
00:12:18,839 --> 00:12:21,517
Your own vineyard. That's
quite impressive, Dave.
251
00:12:21,541 --> 00:12:24,320
The fact is it's Mother's
and mine, isn't it?
252
00:12:24,344 --> 00:12:25,321
Just north of Napa.
253
00:12:25,345 --> 00:12:27,156
Huge monastery, about 50 monks.
254
00:12:27,180 --> 00:12:28,479
We lost four.
255
00:12:30,683 --> 00:12:33,730
Jumped a bus or
something. I don't know.
256
00:12:33,754 --> 00:12:36,799
At any rate, long about
late July, early August,
257
00:12:36,823 --> 00:12:39,223
those little devils come out...
258
00:12:39,292 --> 00:12:41,003
jumping up and
down on their little feet
259
00:12:41,027 --> 00:12:42,471
and pressing out these grapes.
260
00:12:42,495 --> 00:12:44,941
Of course, there are no
women in the monastery,
261
00:12:44,965 --> 00:12:46,475
are there, Mother?
262
00:12:46,499 --> 00:12:48,444
No, there are not.
263
00:12:48,468 --> 00:12:50,880
So you just see them
jumping up and down
264
00:12:50,904 --> 00:12:52,749
on their little feet,
going away, going away,
265
00:12:52,773 --> 00:12:54,516
stepping on those little grapes.
266
00:12:54,540 --> 00:12:55,985
Uncle Dave, sir,
Aunt Caroline, sir,
267
00:12:56,009 --> 00:12:58,409
can I show you the
rest of the house?
268
00:12:58,845 --> 00:13:00,522
There's the attic.
Here's the bedroom.
269
00:13:00,546 --> 00:13:01,791
This is our living room,
270
00:13:01,815 --> 00:13:04,393
or as we like to call
it, our living space.
271
00:13:04,417 --> 00:13:06,896
Mindy, are you all right?
272
00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:08,697
Uhh, yeah, uhh...
273
00:13:08,721 --> 00:13:10,332
I'll explain it to
you later, but, dad...
274
00:13:10,356 --> 00:13:11,433
I'm fine.
275
00:13:12,592 --> 00:13:13,903
Dinner's ready.
276
00:13:13,927 --> 00:13:17,473
Well, let's all sit
down, shall we?
277
00:13:17,497 --> 00:13:18,908
Let's go over and sit down.
278
00:13:18,932 --> 00:13:19,942
This is a special occasion.
279
00:13:19,966 --> 00:13:22,526
Normally we have
duck in a bucket.
280
00:13:23,536 --> 00:13:24,881
Here you are, Mother.
281
00:13:24,905 --> 00:13:27,738
Ahh ha ha! Beat
ya to it, jelly belly!
282
00:13:37,483 --> 00:13:40,596
Get some therapy
for her. Therapy, huh?
283
00:13:40,620 --> 00:13:42,064
Mindy, are you all right?
284
00:13:42,088 --> 00:13:43,800
She normally likes to
do this before dinner.
285
00:13:43,824 --> 00:13:45,001
It's kind of like a punk grace.
286
00:13:45,025 --> 00:13:46,465
♪ Can you like
The food we eat? ♪
287
00:13:49,296 --> 00:13:51,440
Mindy: Mindy, Mindy.
288
00:13:51,464 --> 00:13:54,610
I'm hungry. Could I
have something to eat?
289
00:13:54,634 --> 00:13:57,280
Would you like, uh, a-an olive?
290
00:13:57,304 --> 00:13:58,815
Yes, I'd like an olive.
291
00:13:58,839 --> 00:13:59,816
How's this?
292
00:13:59,840 --> 00:14:01,172
Mmm, good. Good.
293
00:14:02,642 --> 00:14:03,922
Mmm...
294
00:14:05,011 --> 00:14:06,011
Pft!
295
00:14:07,013 --> 00:14:08,746
Bombs away!
296
00:14:09,782 --> 00:14:10,927
I want to tell you something...
297
00:14:10,951 --> 00:14:12,261
I want to tell you something...
298
00:14:12,285 --> 00:14:15,264
Fit her for an
electric bonnet now.
299
00:14:15,288 --> 00:14:16,587
And set it at 580.
300
00:14:18,291 --> 00:14:20,703
Dave, I think that's
just Mindy's way
301
00:14:20,727 --> 00:14:22,171
of making a little joke.
302
00:14:22,195 --> 00:14:23,339
You should see it
303
00:14:23,363 --> 00:14:25,007
when she touches her
tongue to her eyebrow.
304
00:14:25,031 --> 00:14:26,991
We haven't had a fly
in here in three years.
305
00:14:28,835 --> 00:14:31,948
I'm telling you, you
should put a muzzle on her
306
00:14:31,972 --> 00:14:34,750
and send her to an
obedience school.
307
00:14:34,774 --> 00:14:35,918
Hey, picklepuss.
308
00:14:35,942 --> 00:14:38,262
Aah!
309
00:14:38,678 --> 00:14:41,212
That does it. That
does it. That does it.
310
00:14:42,615 --> 00:14:45,627
Come on, Caroline, let's
go. Let's get the coats.
311
00:14:45,651 --> 00:14:47,891
Next thing, she'll be
howling at the moon.
312
00:14:49,089 --> 00:14:50,900
Well, I don't... I don't
think she would do that.
313
00:14:50,924 --> 00:14:53,324
Would she? I'm not sure.
314
00:14:53,659 --> 00:14:54,837
Wait, Uncle Dave.
315
00:14:54,861 --> 00:14:57,706
Uncle Dave, come back.
Please, Aunt Caroline.
316
00:14:57,730 --> 00:15:00,676
I-I don't know
what came over me.
317
00:15:00,700 --> 00:15:02,311
Neither do I.
318
00:15:02,335 --> 00:15:04,080
I really apologize.
319
00:15:04,104 --> 00:15:05,714
I mean, you haven't
even finished dinner,
320
00:15:05,738 --> 00:15:07,483
and this means so
much to dad and me.
321
00:15:12,312 --> 00:15:13,689
Uh, Dave, look...
322
00:15:13,713 --> 00:15:16,592
I-I don't know what's come
over Mindy, but please stay.
323
00:15:16,616 --> 00:15:19,161
Are you kidding?
I told Caroline.
324
00:15:19,185 --> 00:15:21,063
I told you, coming
down on the plane
325
00:15:21,087 --> 00:15:23,199
this was going to be a
bummer of a reunion!
326
00:15:23,223 --> 00:15:25,968
And it's a bummer! I want out!
327
00:15:25,992 --> 00:15:27,069
I want out.
328
00:15:27,093 --> 00:15:28,637
Wait, Uncle Dave,
sir, you can't leave
329
00:15:28,661 --> 00:15:30,373
with bitter memories
in your mind.
330
00:15:30,397 --> 00:15:31,807
Why not leave with
something sweet,
331
00:15:31,831 --> 00:15:33,276
like, I have this
delicious dessert.
332
00:15:33,300 --> 00:15:35,700
You have to try it. Ple-e-ease.
333
00:15:36,903 --> 00:15:38,014
You know, incidentally,
334
00:15:38,038 --> 00:15:39,938
you seem like the
only normal one here.
335
00:15:43,509 --> 00:15:45,254
It's not bad, not bad...
336
00:15:45,278 --> 00:15:47,778
A little on the tart
side, kind of gritty.
337
00:15:49,715 --> 00:15:51,460
Uh, Uncle Dave...
338
00:15:51,484 --> 00:15:53,362
are you feeling all right...
339
00:15:53,386 --> 00:15:55,886
right... right... right?
340
00:15:57,157 --> 00:15:58,334
Of course I'm feeling...
341
00:15:58,358 --> 00:16:00,202
All right. Right.
342
00:16:00,226 --> 00:16:02,271
Right. Left. Left!
343
00:16:09,235 --> 00:16:10,980
All right, little girl,
344
00:16:11,004 --> 00:16:12,748
these are the trenches.
345
00:16:12,772 --> 00:16:15,252
Not easy to ride a
horse in a trench, is it?
346
00:16:16,109 --> 00:16:18,587
Go on back in the tents
with the young children.
347
00:16:18,611 --> 00:16:21,123
Stay in that barn
until the war's over.
348
00:16:21,147 --> 00:16:24,327
You. Help with the
walking wounded.
349
00:16:24,351 --> 00:16:26,671
They must be walking, however.
350
00:16:26,719 --> 00:16:28,086
Crossed in front of a horse.
351
00:16:31,091 --> 00:16:32,701
Easy.
352
00:16:32,725 --> 00:16:34,736
All right. Easy.
353
00:16:34,760 --> 00:16:37,906
Men. Take a look
at it. It's Whitey.
354
00:16:37,930 --> 00:16:39,330
No, the horse.
355
00:16:42,369 --> 00:16:45,181
Sergeant major, good say.
356
00:16:45,205 --> 00:16:46,205
Captain Bevra, here.
357
00:16:48,208 --> 00:16:49,208
What say you, sir?
358
00:16:55,648 --> 00:16:57,259
Oh, these are the
trenches, of course.
359
00:16:57,283 --> 00:16:58,794
Hey, man, what's going on?
360
00:16:58,818 --> 00:17:00,562
Oh, an American.
361
00:17:00,586 --> 00:17:02,365
Good to see you,
good to see you.
362
00:17:02,389 --> 00:17:03,799
You're from what division?
363
00:17:03,823 --> 00:17:05,067
Rainbow division.
364
00:17:05,091 --> 00:17:07,436
Come on, man,
shape up or ship out.
365
00:17:07,460 --> 00:17:08,670
Love you, love you.
366
00:17:08,694 --> 00:17:09,894
Let's attack anyway.
367
00:17:11,031 --> 00:17:12,008
Brian, Brian.
368
00:17:12,032 --> 00:17:13,564
Father. Oh, black people.
369
00:17:15,468 --> 00:17:16,812
God bless you.
370
00:17:16,836 --> 00:17:18,947
I was kicked out of Santos,
sir, they found me in a dress.
371
00:17:18,971 --> 00:17:20,116
Doesn't make any difference...
372
00:17:20,140 --> 00:17:21,517
They found you in what? A gown.
373
00:17:21,541 --> 00:17:23,274
A gown's better.
374
00:17:25,578 --> 00:17:26,688
They're coming Father, look,
375
00:17:26,712 --> 00:17:28,657
thousands of Huns,
Germans, and borscht.
376
00:17:28,681 --> 00:17:30,259
Germans and borscht?
377
00:17:30,283 --> 00:17:31,260
What's the borscht?
378
00:17:31,284 --> 00:17:33,117
A small soup with beets.
379
00:17:46,799 --> 00:17:48,911
My hand, my hand!
380
00:17:48,935 --> 00:17:50,095
I'm sorry.
381
00:17:50,736 --> 00:17:52,181
I'm hurt, I'm hurt.
382
00:17:52,205 --> 00:17:53,715
I know you are, but
you killed the old man
383
00:17:53,739 --> 00:17:55,951
with four fingers in his head.
384
00:17:59,546 --> 00:18:01,623
Looks like the
bloody war's over.
385
00:18:01,647 --> 00:18:02,624
What a shame.
386
00:18:02,648 --> 00:18:03,625
And I got no action.
387
00:18:03,649 --> 00:18:04,893
You know, I can't...
388
00:18:04,917 --> 00:18:07,317
I think it's... No,
it's my medallions.
389
00:18:09,222 --> 00:18:10,342
There we are.
390
00:18:11,891 --> 00:18:14,525
We'll see you after the
war, probably in a VW.
391
00:18:16,963 --> 00:18:18,607
Did somebody switch
brothers on me?
392
00:18:18,631 --> 00:18:21,110
I've never seen him
act like this before.
393
00:18:21,134 --> 00:18:24,168
I don't mean to pry, dear,
but are you back from the war?
394
00:18:28,641 --> 00:18:31,853
Dave, what's come over you?
395
00:18:31,877 --> 00:18:34,390
Oh, I don't know, junior.
396
00:18:34,414 --> 00:18:35,757
I was just playing.
397
00:18:35,781 --> 00:18:37,359
Well, you never did
that with me, I mean,
398
00:18:37,383 --> 00:18:39,027
you never played with
me, when we were kids.
399
00:18:39,051 --> 00:18:41,029
Well, I know that.
400
00:18:41,053 --> 00:18:44,922
When I came along,
as you know, I was first.
401
00:18:46,058 --> 00:18:48,498
I was first.
402
00:18:48,928 --> 00:18:51,248
I knew at 3 years
of age, I was first.
403
00:18:53,099 --> 00:18:55,911
They gave me a little
kitty and a little doggy.
404
00:18:55,935 --> 00:19:01,117
And Daddy would bounce
me on his knee... left knee.
405
00:19:01,141 --> 00:19:02,318
And then on his right knee.
406
00:19:02,342 --> 00:19:03,719
And then, Mama
would just bounce me.
407
00:19:03,743 --> 00:19:06,755
She'd dribble
me... and shoot me,
408
00:19:06,779 --> 00:19:09,179
and I'd say "Voit, Voit, Voit!"
409
00:19:11,151 --> 00:19:13,762
And then you came along.
410
00:19:13,786 --> 00:19:16,599
I suppose I was
jealous, insanely jealous.
411
00:19:16,623 --> 00:19:20,503
I saw your little
body in a 50x20 bed.
412
00:19:20,527 --> 00:19:23,071
They played with
you, painted you up,
413
00:19:23,095 --> 00:19:24,928
made you a bizarre child.
414
00:19:28,768 --> 00:19:31,869
I began to hate you,
hate you, hate you.
415
00:19:33,473 --> 00:19:36,485
And I don't like you anymore.
416
00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:41,145
I don't like you, Freddy.
Don't like you, junior.
417
00:19:43,015 --> 00:19:44,926
You wonder why I'm different,
418
00:19:44,950 --> 00:19:47,530
why I'm twisted and
bent out of shape?
419
00:19:47,554 --> 00:19:50,098
Because you took my parents...
420
00:19:50,122 --> 00:19:51,589
from me!
421
00:20:04,770 --> 00:20:06,315
Don't worry, Aunt Caroline.
422
00:20:06,339 --> 00:20:08,884
If anybody can find
Uncle Dave, Mork can.
423
00:20:08,908 --> 00:20:10,219
Mork, any luck?
424
00:20:10,243 --> 00:20:11,375
No, I found him.
425
00:20:13,413 --> 00:20:14,657
You'll never guess where.
426
00:20:14,681 --> 00:20:16,292
Errrrnt! Time's up.
427
00:20:16,316 --> 00:20:18,216
Top of the flagpole, City Hall.
428
00:20:22,088 --> 00:20:25,000
Oh, Dave, dear,
are you all right?
429
00:20:25,024 --> 00:20:28,837
Dave, wait a minute.
Now, Dave... Dave, look...
430
00:20:28,861 --> 00:20:29,893
Wait...
431
00:20:31,163 --> 00:20:33,576
Well, excuse me. I
think Dave needs me...
432
00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:34,699
to yell at.
433
00:20:38,137 --> 00:20:40,683
Well, it was the fleck,
Dad. He'll calm down.
434
00:20:40,707 --> 00:20:42,585
No, no, no, Mindy...
435
00:20:42,609 --> 00:20:44,086
fleck or no fleck, Dave's right.
436
00:20:44,110 --> 00:20:46,222
We've never gotten
along. We never will.
437
00:20:46,246 --> 00:20:49,057
He's your brother,
and he happens to feel
438
00:20:49,081 --> 00:20:51,059
like you've robbed him
of something very special.
439
00:20:51,083 --> 00:20:52,294
What do you want
me to say to him?
440
00:20:52,318 --> 00:20:53,362
He doesn't listen to me.
441
00:20:53,386 --> 00:20:54,530
I'll talk to him, Pops.
442
00:20:54,554 --> 00:20:56,265
I mean, who talked him
out of the lobster tank
443
00:20:56,289 --> 00:20:57,488
at the seafood shanty?
444
00:21:03,129 --> 00:21:04,773
Now, Dave, I think...
445
00:21:04,797 --> 00:21:07,565
Well, I guess he can't make
it worse than it already is.
446
00:21:12,505 --> 00:21:13,782
All right, let's go.
447
00:21:13,806 --> 00:21:15,751
Wait, wait, wait,
Min. Min, wait, wait.
448
00:21:15,775 --> 00:21:18,019
Let me tell you what
Uncle Dave said first.
449
00:21:18,043 --> 00:21:20,055
Tell junior when
I walk out of here,
450
00:21:20,079 --> 00:21:21,590
I don't want to see
him in this room,
451
00:21:21,614 --> 00:21:23,974
any room, anywhere... Even
a sleazy hotel in Bangkok.
452
00:21:25,752 --> 00:21:28,397
It was wonderful seeing you,
and it's a good thing we did
453
00:21:28,421 --> 00:21:31,054
because we'll probably
never see you again.
454
00:21:34,059 --> 00:21:38,440
Dave... I don't want
it to end like this.
455
00:21:38,464 --> 00:21:41,076
Just tell it to the
doorman downstairs!
456
00:21:41,100 --> 00:21:43,044
Oh, now you just
hold it, brother!
457
00:21:43,068 --> 00:21:46,282
All my life you've ignored
me, you've humiliated me,
458
00:21:46,306 --> 00:21:49,117
and you've made
me itch like the devil.
459
00:21:49,141 --> 00:21:50,986
And I never stopped
trying to win your approval.
460
00:21:51,010 --> 00:21:52,755
Do you know what
it's like to love a brother
461
00:21:52,779 --> 00:21:54,657
and he doesn't love you back?
462
00:21:54,681 --> 00:21:55,813
It hurts.
463
00:21:57,917 --> 00:22:00,195
Goodbye, Dave.
464
00:22:00,219 --> 00:22:01,397
I still wish you well.
465
00:22:01,421 --> 00:22:02,798
Come on, kids, let's go.
466
00:22:02,822 --> 00:22:07,469
Oh, Daddy, you're so good
at negotiating, say something.
467
00:22:07,493 --> 00:22:08,704
Wait a minute...
468
00:22:08,728 --> 00:22:12,908
Wait a minute, junior.
Give me a minute, will you?
469
00:22:12,932 --> 00:22:15,911
I, uhh... I learned
a lot this evening.
470
00:22:15,935 --> 00:22:18,580
I... I really did.
471
00:22:18,604 --> 00:22:21,149
You made a fool out of me, man.
472
00:22:21,173 --> 00:22:24,353
I came off looking bad.
473
00:22:24,377 --> 00:22:26,655
Maybe it's better that way,
474
00:22:26,679 --> 00:22:28,890
but I don't want it
that way any longer.
475
00:22:28,914 --> 00:22:30,258
I want it to be right.
476
00:22:30,282 --> 00:22:31,727
The folks are gone,
477
00:22:31,751 --> 00:22:34,129
and you and I are still brothers
478
00:22:34,153 --> 00:22:37,466
and we're still alive,
still very much alive.
479
00:22:37,490 --> 00:22:41,058
I want your love as
bad as you want mine.
480
00:22:43,295 --> 00:22:45,028
Hey, come on, put 'er there...
481
00:22:45,765 --> 00:22:47,576
Freddy.
482
00:22:47,600 --> 00:22:49,044
You're still a dynamo.
483
00:22:49,068 --> 00:22:51,179
You rascal.
484
00:22:51,203 --> 00:22:53,371
Hey, Mama...
485
00:22:55,508 --> 00:22:57,453
Listen, why don't I
take us all to dinner?
486
00:22:57,477 --> 00:22:59,957
Get your purse,
will ya, sweetheart?
487
00:23:00,980 --> 00:23:02,424
What's that for?
488
00:23:02,448 --> 00:23:04,648
For giving my father a brother.
489
00:23:14,660 --> 00:23:18,507
Mork calling Orson.
Come in, Orson.
490
00:23:18,531 --> 00:23:20,208
Mork calling Orson.
491
00:23:20,232 --> 00:23:22,711
Come in, Orson.
492
00:23:22,735 --> 00:23:26,248
Mork calling Orson, Come
in, oh, mighty sequoia.
493
00:23:26,272 --> 00:23:28,950
Why do you call
me "sequoia," Mork?
494
00:23:28,974 --> 00:23:30,786
Well, sir, it's the
fattest tree that I know.
495
00:23:30,810 --> 00:23:31,810
Ar ar!
496
00:23:32,812 --> 00:23:34,490
Your report, Mork.
497
00:23:34,514 --> 00:23:36,592
This week, sir, I learned
about competition...
498
00:23:36,616 --> 00:23:37,993
The type of
competition that occurs
499
00:23:38,017 --> 00:23:40,061
between different branches
of the same family tree.
500
00:23:40,085 --> 00:23:43,164
You see how that all
ties it in... Tree, roots?
501
00:23:43,188 --> 00:23:45,868
You've told me earthlings
were competitive,
502
00:23:45,892 --> 00:23:48,604
but I didn't know they
brought it home with them.
503
00:23:48,628 --> 00:23:49,805
Oh, yes, sir, you see,
504
00:23:49,829 --> 00:23:51,940
Sibling rivalry has been
around for a long time.
505
00:23:51,964 --> 00:23:53,275
It started off with
Cain and Abel,
506
00:23:53,299 --> 00:23:54,743
competing for God's attention,
507
00:23:54,767 --> 00:23:57,112
right through Donny and Marie
competing for the same hairdo.
508
00:23:57,136 --> 00:23:58,414
Oh, Donny, why?
509
00:23:58,438 --> 00:24:00,883
But isn't competition
a healthy thing?
510
00:24:00,907 --> 00:24:02,651
Well, sir, it can be.
511
00:24:02,675 --> 00:24:05,020
You see, I think a family
should be like a team.
512
00:24:05,044 --> 00:24:06,488
They shouldn't be
forced to wear pads
513
00:24:06,512 --> 00:24:07,890
to protect each
other from contact.
514
00:24:07,914 --> 00:24:09,758
Everyone should be
rooting each other on.
515
00:24:09,782 --> 00:24:12,260
Well, why don't they?
516
00:24:12,284 --> 00:24:14,963
It starts with one person
comparing himself to another,
517
00:24:14,987 --> 00:24:16,965
and he forgets that the only
standards he has to meet
518
00:24:16,989 --> 00:24:18,600
are the ones he
sets for himself.
519
00:24:18,624 --> 00:24:20,502
But, isn't it through
competition,
520
00:24:20,526 --> 00:24:21,870
that greater heights
are reached?
521
00:24:21,894 --> 00:24:23,405
Yes sir, but I don't
think you should use
522
00:24:23,429 --> 00:24:25,541
your family as steppingstones.
523
00:24:25,565 --> 00:24:27,365
Until next week, sir, na-no.
37373
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