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1
00:00:03,037 --> 00:00:05,415
Na-no, na-no.
2
00:01:34,928 --> 00:01:39,509
Hey, come on, honey.
Your plane leaves in an hour.
3
00:01:39,533 --> 00:01:41,233
All set.
4
00:01:47,007 --> 00:01:48,185
Except for Mork.
5
00:01:48,209 --> 00:01:50,353
I wonder why he ran
out at the last minute.
6
00:01:50,377 --> 00:01:52,822
Oh, honey, uh, Mork
wouldn't miss seeing you off.
7
00:01:52,846 --> 00:01:55,725
After all, going to
Topeka is a big deal.
8
00:01:55,749 --> 00:01:58,195
Yeah. Yeah, covering the
Winter Week conference
9
00:01:58,219 --> 00:02:00,530
is a big deal.
10
00:02:00,554 --> 00:02:03,833
Who's gonna pick you up at
the airport, a chartered tractor?
11
00:02:03,857 --> 00:02:05,202
No.
12
00:02:05,226 --> 00:02:06,303
No, it's important, Dad.
13
00:02:06,327 --> 00:02:07,971
Because Mr. Sternhagen
at the station
14
00:02:07,995 --> 00:02:09,439
said if I do good
on this assignment,
15
00:02:09,463 --> 00:02:11,174
he might give me a bigger one.
16
00:02:11,198 --> 00:02:14,177
Like City Hall,
congressional scandals.
17
00:02:14,201 --> 00:02:16,379
Maybe even the
Summer Week convention.
18
00:02:17,771 --> 00:02:20,950
Mind. Mind, Mind, Mind,
Mind. Mind, Mind, Mind, Mind.
19
00:02:20,974 --> 00:02:22,685
Mind, Mind, Mind, Mind,
Mind... Oh, Pop. Pop.
20
00:02:22,709 --> 00:02:25,155
Mind, Mind, Mind, Mind, Mind.
Pop, pop. Pop, pop, Mind, Mind.
21
00:02:25,179 --> 00:02:27,724
♪ Mmm, Mind-Mind
Pop-Pop, mmm, Mind-Mind ♪
22
00:02:27,748 --> 00:02:29,159
I bought you this
wonderful gift.
23
00:02:29,183 --> 00:02:30,560
Since you're going to Kansas,
24
00:02:30,584 --> 00:02:33,563
I got a flea collar for Toto.
25
00:02:33,587 --> 00:02:35,098
Don't be afraid.
26
00:02:35,122 --> 00:02:37,800
There's no place like that.
27
00:02:37,824 --> 00:02:39,302
You're right.
28
00:02:39,326 --> 00:02:42,372
Oh, Mork, thank
you. I'll pass it along.
29
00:02:42,396 --> 00:02:44,974
Okay, honey, I'll go,
eh, warm up the car.
30
00:02:44,998 --> 00:02:46,476
The best way to do that
31
00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:49,812
is to blow in its carburetor
and say that you love it.
32
00:02:49,836 --> 00:02:53,539
I'll do that, but I'll hate
myself in the morning.
33
00:02:56,510 --> 00:02:58,755
Okay, Mork, now, I want
you to pay close attention.
34
00:02:58,779 --> 00:03:00,023
We've got a lot
of things to cover
35
00:03:00,047 --> 00:03:01,458
if you're gonna
manage by yourself.
36
00:03:01,482 --> 00:03:02,692
Ho-ho. Come on, now, Mind.
37
00:03:02,716 --> 00:03:06,163
Scoff, scoff. Derisive
laughter. Ha-ha-ha-ha.
38
00:03:06,187 --> 00:03:08,165
Manage by myself? Do you
know who you're talking to?
39
00:03:08,189 --> 00:03:10,500
Yes. Oh.
40
00:03:10,524 --> 00:03:12,369
This is the can
opener. Can opener.
41
00:03:12,393 --> 00:03:14,271
This is the coffee
pot. Coffee pot.
42
00:03:14,295 --> 00:03:16,105
And remember what I
told you about the blender?
43
00:03:16,129 --> 00:03:18,997
Turn it off. Don't just stand
there waiting for it to flush.
44
00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:21,044
Right.
45
00:03:21,068 --> 00:03:23,446
And remember the
most important part.
46
00:03:23,470 --> 00:03:25,748
You turn it off
from the outside.
47
00:03:25,772 --> 00:03:28,385
Oh. I wonder why my
fingernails were getting shorter.
48
00:03:30,211 --> 00:03:32,722
Oh. Well, I gotta run.
49
00:03:32,746 --> 00:03:34,224
I'm gonna miss you, Mork.
50
00:03:34,248 --> 00:03:36,493
Well, you can't miss,
Mindy, if you aim right here.
51
00:03:36,517 --> 00:03:38,662
Ha-ha. Mmm.
52
00:03:38,686 --> 00:03:40,430
Well, you have a good time,
53
00:03:40,454 --> 00:03:42,465
and I'll see you when
I get back on Monday.
54
00:03:42,489 --> 00:03:43,933
Oh, you have a
good time too, Mind.
55
00:03:43,957 --> 00:03:45,101
And don't you worry about me.
56
00:03:45,125 --> 00:03:46,369
I'm a superior being
57
00:03:46,393 --> 00:03:48,838
and I can handle
everything. That's right. Okay.
58
00:03:48,862 --> 00:03:50,273
Arrivederci. Bye.
59
00:03:50,297 --> 00:03:53,643
Ciao. Auf Wiedersehen.
Do svidaniya.
60
00:03:53,667 --> 00:03:55,400
Later, mama.
61
00:04:00,006 --> 00:04:02,319
♪ Alone again ♪
62
00:04:02,343 --> 00:04:05,410
♪ Can't you see
I'm alone again? ♪
63
00:04:09,283 --> 00:04:11,394
Well... Heh-heh-heh!
64
00:04:11,418 --> 00:04:12,618
Yes.
65
00:04:15,556 --> 00:04:19,035
Ooh. Hey, hey, hey. Heh-heh.
66
00:04:33,307 --> 00:04:34,773
Ar-ar.
67
00:04:43,284 --> 00:04:45,444
Well, I guess I'll just have
to peel it and eat it raw.
68
00:04:57,063 --> 00:04:59,576
Oh. I've gotta stop
thinking about her.
69
00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:02,467
No. I've gotta stop
thinking about her.
70
00:05:03,236 --> 00:05:04,847
No!
71
00:05:04,871 --> 00:05:06,349
Oh. She's not
even thinking of me.
72
00:05:08,008 --> 00:05:09,419
Lord, she got my
psychic telegram.
73
00:05:09,443 --> 00:05:14,591
Oh, my darling! My darling...
Oh, what a disappointment.
74
00:05:14,615 --> 00:05:18,895
You're no aurora borealis
yourself. I came up to tell you
75
00:05:18,919 --> 00:05:21,698
I got a call from our
landlord, Mr. Klevins.
76
00:05:21,722 --> 00:05:22,999
He's coming around later
77
00:05:23,023 --> 00:05:25,802
to install smoke alarms
in all the apartments.
78
00:05:25,826 --> 00:05:29,339
Oh, no more smoke? There goes
my chat with Chief White Eagle.
79
00:05:29,363 --> 00:05:31,007
What?
80
00:05:31,031 --> 00:05:33,075
You'd better get
this place cleaned up.
81
00:05:33,099 --> 00:05:35,111
This Klevins is a real creep.
82
00:05:35,135 --> 00:05:38,970
He's bounced tenants for
having crooked doormats.
83
00:05:41,208 --> 00:05:42,985
You really miss
Mindy, don't you?
84
00:05:43,009 --> 00:05:45,488
Oh, no way.
85
00:05:45,512 --> 00:05:48,358
Well, where did you get
all the pictures, Shiksa-mat?
86
00:05:49,583 --> 00:05:50,982
What?
87
00:05:54,287 --> 00:05:56,966
Listen, maybe it'd help
to get your mind off Mindy
88
00:05:56,990 --> 00:05:59,035
if you go out with
some of your friends.
89
00:05:59,059 --> 00:06:03,039
How about the two of us go
out and paint the town pink, huh?
90
00:06:03,063 --> 00:06:05,141
I'm sorry, Mork, I can't.
91
00:06:05,165 --> 00:06:06,175
Why not?
92
00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:08,933
Because it sounds like a drag.
93
00:06:11,004 --> 00:06:13,271
And I thought he didn't like me.
94
00:06:24,985 --> 00:06:26,529
Hear that, Mind?
95
00:06:26,553 --> 00:06:28,264
They're playing
our song, darling.
96
00:06:39,366 --> 00:06:43,145
You know, I... I love it
when you wear that perfume:
97
00:06:43,169 --> 00:06:44,681
Janitor in a Drum.
98
00:06:48,141 --> 00:06:50,587
You can cure that with some
fabric softener, you know that?
99
00:06:52,045 --> 00:06:54,257
Wait a minute. Wait.
♪ To have my arms... ♪
100
00:06:54,281 --> 00:06:56,559
Oh, no.
101
00:06:56,583 --> 00:07:00,229
That can only mean
one thing. Oh, he's here.
102
00:07:00,253 --> 00:07:03,966
It's him. It's the Orkan elder.
What do you mean, "No"?
103
00:07:03,990 --> 00:07:06,969
It's the ancient one, the wisest
of the wise. Stop it, it's him.
104
00:07:06,993 --> 00:07:09,071
Oh, no. Quick. Down
upon your knees.
105
00:07:09,095 --> 00:07:11,496
Nice touch.
106
00:07:12,332 --> 00:07:13,877
Oh!
107
00:07:25,846 --> 00:07:28,447
Rise, Mork. Oh, sir.
108
00:07:37,458 --> 00:07:39,368
Don't be so formal, Mork.
109
00:07:39,392 --> 00:07:42,260
You know my name is Pbbbt.
110
00:07:44,230 --> 00:07:46,375
I came because it's my birthday.
111
00:07:46,399 --> 00:07:47,610
Oh, sir. Happy birthday.
112
00:07:51,004 --> 00:07:54,951
Pbbbt. Pbbbt. Pbbbt. Birthday.
113
00:07:54,975 --> 00:07:56,920
Very touching.
114
00:07:56,944 --> 00:07:59,722
Hard to keep a dry eye.
115
00:07:59,746 --> 00:08:03,626
I just wish the Orkan aging
process wasn't reversed.
116
00:08:03,650 --> 00:08:05,294
It seems like every
day I look in the mirror,
117
00:08:05,318 --> 00:08:08,364
I get a little bit cuter.
118
00:08:08,388 --> 00:08:11,100
Where does the time go?
119
00:08:11,124 --> 00:08:12,569
Probably the same
place that socks go
120
00:08:12,593 --> 00:08:14,874
when you lose them in the dryer.
121
00:08:16,129 --> 00:08:17,474
Well, how old
are you today, sir?
122
00:08:17,498 --> 00:08:19,241
In Earth years, 87.
123
00:08:19,265 --> 00:08:23,079
You know, that's amazing. If
you were a dog, you'd be 14.
124
00:08:23,103 --> 00:08:26,148
I decided to treat myself
and drop in to see you
125
00:08:26,172 --> 00:08:28,451
and especially the
soft-lapped one.
126
00:08:28,475 --> 00:08:31,187
Oh, I'm... I'm sorry about
that, sir, but she's out of town.
127
00:08:31,211 --> 00:08:33,923
Aw, shazbot. Sir.
128
00:08:33,947 --> 00:08:35,458
I'm sorry I missed her.
129
00:08:35,482 --> 00:08:37,861
They don't make
laps like hers on Ork.
130
00:08:37,885 --> 00:08:39,562
Well, I probably
could entertain you
131
00:08:39,586 --> 00:08:40,964
in the traditional
Orkan fashion,
132
00:08:40,988 --> 00:08:42,888
if you wish to come with me.
133
00:08:48,128 --> 00:08:51,273
Oh, Orkan checkers.
You go first, Mork.
134
00:08:51,297 --> 00:08:52,909
Oh, thank you,
sir, for the privilege.
135
00:09:11,585 --> 00:09:13,429
Check.
136
00:09:13,453 --> 00:09:15,097
Checkmate.
137
00:09:15,121 --> 00:09:18,467
And I never even saw it coming.
138
00:09:18,491 --> 00:09:22,238
Oh, that's why you're
the elder, sir. Oh, boy.
139
00:09:22,262 --> 00:09:25,207
You know, I kept thinking
about the two of you down here,
140
00:09:25,231 --> 00:09:26,543
especially Mindy.
141
00:09:26,567 --> 00:09:28,578
She's different from us.
142
00:09:28,602 --> 00:09:31,915
I, uh... I know, sir.
143
00:09:31,939 --> 00:09:33,850
You know, sir, the
last time you were here,
144
00:09:33,874 --> 00:09:35,685
you said you
could build a Mindy.
145
00:09:35,709 --> 00:09:36,819
Can you?
146
00:09:36,843 --> 00:09:38,021
I suppose I could.
147
00:09:38,045 --> 00:09:40,946
I've got my genetic
tool kit in the egg.
148
00:09:42,182 --> 00:09:43,693
What would you do
with the one I build you
149
00:09:43,717 --> 00:09:45,562
when the real Mindy gets back?
150
00:09:45,586 --> 00:09:47,797
I could sell her to the Osmonds
in case Marie gets trampled
151
00:09:47,821 --> 00:09:49,398
at a family reunion.
152
00:09:55,996 --> 00:09:58,741
Sir, are you sure you
only need one hair?
153
00:09:58,765 --> 00:10:00,977
You'll have to make her
head awfully small for this to fit.
154
00:10:01,001 --> 00:10:02,612
Of course. Didn't
you learn anything
155
00:10:02,636 --> 00:10:04,047
in your Cloning class on Ork?
156
00:10:04,071 --> 00:10:05,915
I had to substitute Basket
Weaving for Cloning.
157
00:10:05,939 --> 00:10:09,351
I was on an
athletic scholarship.
158
00:10:09,375 --> 00:10:11,754
Now I need some information
on Mindy's character traits.
159
00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:14,256
Oh, that's very easy,
sir. She talks like this:
160
00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:18,194
Hello. My name is
Mindy, I'm a Capricorn.
161
00:10:18,218 --> 00:10:20,096
I like fuzzy things,
happy people,
162
00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:23,622
solar energy and whistling
at construction workers.
163
00:10:25,726 --> 00:10:27,169
Um, turnoffs are
gas-guzzling cars,
164
00:10:27,193 --> 00:10:29,105
cancer-causing agents,
nuclear power plants
165
00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:30,539
and bathroom poetry.
166
00:10:30,563 --> 00:10:33,665
If I wasn't so modest,
I'd say I was adorable.
167
00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:37,947
Excellent. Now, hand
me the copovia clamp
168
00:10:37,971 --> 00:10:39,548
so I can adjust her IQ.
169
00:10:39,572 --> 00:10:40,783
Oh, yes, sir.
170
00:10:40,807 --> 00:10:42,384
Remember that
she's quite intelligent.
171
00:10:42,408 --> 00:10:44,621
She has a college degree,
and she knows about everything.
172
00:10:44,645 --> 00:10:45,955
Watering plants, driving a Jeep.
173
00:10:45,979 --> 00:10:48,546
She can even tie her
shoelace without looking down.
174
00:10:50,083 --> 00:10:52,495
She's almost done. Oh. Oh, sir.
175
00:10:52,519 --> 00:10:55,331
Please remember she was
wearing a... A pink sweater and jeans,
176
00:10:55,355 --> 00:10:58,001
and remember to put her
nose right between her eyes.
177
00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:02,639
Sir. Uh-oh, sir.
178
00:11:04,264 --> 00:11:05,808
Sir. She... She's ready, sir.
179
00:11:05,832 --> 00:11:07,409
Okay, okay.
180
00:11:07,433 --> 00:11:09,478
I may be old, but I'm not deaf.
181
00:11:09,502 --> 00:11:10,802
Oh, sir.
182
00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:16,819
Oh, sir.
183
00:11:16,843 --> 00:11:18,921
Sir, it worked. It's
an exact duplicate.
184
00:11:18,945 --> 00:11:21,746
Of course. Talk to her.
185
00:11:26,987 --> 00:11:29,431
- Hi, Mind. Big kiss.
- If you think
186
00:11:29,455 --> 00:11:31,567
I'm going to flex my
orbicular muscle to osculate,
187
00:11:31,591 --> 00:11:34,192
you're sadly mistaken.
188
00:11:36,529 --> 00:11:37,707
What'd she say?
189
00:11:37,731 --> 00:11:39,842
No. Oh.
190
00:11:39,866 --> 00:11:42,679
This idle discourse fatigues me.
191
00:11:42,703 --> 00:11:46,049
Mind, come on, remember?
It's me, your cute little Morky.
192
00:11:46,073 --> 00:11:48,384
Enough of this childish drivel.
193
00:11:48,408 --> 00:11:50,086
I need mental stimulation.
194
00:11:50,110 --> 00:11:51,788
Don't you have
any books to read?
195
00:11:51,812 --> 00:11:53,556
No, I have some to color.
196
00:11:53,580 --> 00:11:55,391
Oh, never mind.
I'll write my own.
197
00:11:55,415 --> 00:11:56,748
But...
198
00:11:57,751 --> 00:11:59,228
Min...
199
00:11:59,252 --> 00:12:01,820
Call me when you've evolved.
200
00:12:06,860 --> 00:12:09,638
Um, sir, I... I think you
made her a little too intelligent.
201
00:12:09,662 --> 00:12:10,807
What happened?
202
00:12:10,831 --> 00:12:12,975
Well, sir, uh,
meaning no disrespect,
203
00:12:12,999 --> 00:12:15,244
but I think you really orked up.
204
00:12:25,912 --> 00:12:28,524
Beg your pardon, sir, but what
was wrong with Mindy's clone?
205
00:12:28,548 --> 00:12:29,992
If we were gonna
have a battle of wits,
206
00:12:30,016 --> 00:12:32,895
I'd be an unarmed man.
207
00:12:32,919 --> 00:12:36,432
These Earthlings must be
more complex than I thought.
208
00:12:36,456 --> 00:12:38,000
Oh, sir. Don't give up, please.
209
00:12:38,024 --> 00:12:40,302
Try again. I mean,
I'm real lonely.
210
00:12:40,326 --> 00:12:43,305
Remember, sir. I mean, she...
She's more the outdoor type.
211
00:12:43,329 --> 00:12:44,741
She's energetic and athletic,
212
00:12:44,765 --> 00:12:46,408
and she's not a
spectator, she's a doer.
213
00:12:46,432 --> 00:12:48,077
This one will be right.
214
00:12:48,101 --> 00:12:51,047
An elder never fails... twice.
215
00:12:51,071 --> 00:12:53,872
Oh, bless you, sir, bless you.
May your shoes always be loose.
216
00:12:56,042 --> 00:12:57,720
Oh.
217
00:12:57,744 --> 00:12:59,889
Tingling sense of anticipation.
218
00:13:01,915 --> 00:13:03,226
Oh.
219
00:13:03,250 --> 00:13:06,095
Sir, sir.
220
00:13:07,453 --> 00:13:09,120
It's happening again, sir.
221
00:13:14,161 --> 00:13:17,606
Ha! I think we
got a hot one, sir.
222
00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:19,308
H-hi, Mind. Big kiss.
223
00:13:19,332 --> 00:13:21,732
Not now. I'm in training.
224
00:13:24,604 --> 00:13:26,749
That's real athletic and
energetic, sir. Thank you.
225
00:13:26,773 --> 00:13:28,550
But, uh, how do you
turn her off, though, sir?
226
00:13:28,574 --> 00:13:30,619
The deactivating
button is on her foot.
227
00:13:30,643 --> 00:13:32,889
Oh, no. I'm not going near
her without a whip and a chair.
228
00:13:32,913 --> 00:13:35,057
Come on. Come on. Two
out of three, two out of three.
229
00:13:35,081 --> 00:13:36,961
Come on, come on. Hi,
nice to meet you, Mindy...
230
00:13:38,084 --> 00:13:40,663
Mindy. Mindy. Ungh! Argh!
231
00:13:40,687 --> 00:13:42,999
Aunt. Aunt... Oh, uncle. Uncle.
232
00:13:44,024 --> 00:13:46,035
End of round one.
Neutral corners.
233
00:13:48,161 --> 00:13:49,694
Wahhh.
234
00:13:51,331 --> 00:13:53,676
Sir, could you make the next
one a little more loving, please?
235
00:13:53,700 --> 00:13:55,644
One less turn on the butch bolt?
236
00:13:57,170 --> 00:13:58,547
I'll get it.
237
00:13:58,571 --> 00:13:59,782
Oh, no, no, no.
238
00:13:59,806 --> 00:14:00,950
I hope it's Gore Vidal
239
00:14:00,974 --> 00:14:02,451
come to borrow a
cup of aphorisms.
240
00:14:02,475 --> 00:14:04,153
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
241
00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:05,587
We can't let anybody see you.
242
00:14:05,611 --> 00:14:07,323
I opt to remain.
243
00:14:07,347 --> 00:14:09,859
I feel the need for
social discourse
244
00:14:09,883 --> 00:14:11,593
on a much higher level.
245
00:14:11,617 --> 00:14:14,630
You have proved to me
that Darwin was wrong.
246
00:14:14,654 --> 00:14:16,365
Uh, pardon me,
247
00:14:16,389 --> 00:14:19,168
perhaps we could find
a harmonious resolution,
248
00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:22,771
um, by a conflict of
intellects, i.e. a battle of wits,
249
00:14:22,795 --> 00:14:24,874
whereby the loser must
forfeit an article of clothing
250
00:14:24,898 --> 00:14:26,508
and reveal a layer of epidermis.
251
00:14:26,532 --> 00:14:28,110
Ahhh.
252
00:14:28,134 --> 00:14:31,113
A strip debate. Ah,
yes. If you catch my drift.
253
00:14:31,137 --> 00:14:32,315
Very well.
254
00:14:32,339 --> 00:14:34,450
Let's discuss the
Cartesian dictum,
255
00:14:34,474 --> 00:14:36,618
"I think, therefore, I am,"
256
00:14:36,642 --> 00:14:39,722
and how it relates to
Kierkegaard's observation
257
00:14:39,746 --> 00:14:42,791
that a relation which
relates itself to its own self
258
00:14:42,815 --> 00:14:46,162
must have been created by
itself or created by another.
259
00:14:46,186 --> 00:14:49,498
Oh, fascinating. Whoosh!
260
00:14:49,522 --> 00:14:51,533
But, however, possession
of extraneous literature
261
00:14:51,557 --> 00:14:53,469
constitutes a foul.
262
00:14:53,493 --> 00:14:56,138
Therefore, please remit to
me your left pedal extremity.
263
00:14:56,162 --> 00:14:57,173
Oh. Thank you very much.
264
00:15:02,468 --> 00:15:03,645
Sorry, Mind.
265
00:15:03,669 --> 00:15:05,848
I'd have a very hard
time explaining you,
266
00:15:05,872 --> 00:15:09,352
and you would have a very
hard time explaining you.
267
00:15:09,376 --> 00:15:12,110
Oop. Sorry.
268
00:15:15,715 --> 00:15:17,693
Who is it? MAN: It's me,
269
00:15:17,717 --> 00:15:19,528
Al Klevins, the landlord.
270
00:15:19,552 --> 00:15:21,998
I'll be right there,
Mr. Klevins.
271
00:15:22,022 --> 00:15:23,299
Oh, I have to tidy up.
272
00:15:27,394 --> 00:15:30,006
Hello. Hi, you
must be the creep.
273
00:15:30,030 --> 00:15:34,110
Creep? I don't know you,
and already I'm not liking you.
274
00:15:34,134 --> 00:15:37,446
Where's my tenant
Mindy McConnell?
275
00:15:37,470 --> 00:15:39,081
Oh, she's in Kansas
looking for a small dog
276
00:15:39,105 --> 00:15:42,118
at a midget convention. Ar-ar!
277
00:15:42,142 --> 00:15:43,585
Who are you? Oh, I'm Mork,
278
00:15:43,609 --> 00:15:45,709
the man who lights up her life.
279
00:15:46,813 --> 00:15:49,091
This place is a mess.
280
00:15:49,115 --> 00:15:51,635
I don't see how you could tell
with all this junk lying around.
281
00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:55,798
I have no time
for this chitchat.
282
00:15:55,822 --> 00:15:57,833
I gotta install this smoke alarm
283
00:15:57,857 --> 00:16:01,370
so that people like you
won't light up my life.
284
00:16:01,394 --> 00:16:03,839
I'll put it here in the
bedroom over there.
285
00:16:03,863 --> 00:16:04,983
Oh, if you ever hear this...
286
00:16:06,366 --> 00:16:09,067
put out the fire, then leave.
287
00:16:11,838 --> 00:16:13,904
Whew. Oh, man.
288
00:16:15,208 --> 00:16:16,885
Round two.
289
00:16:16,909 --> 00:16:18,821
That... That... That
was a buzzer, not a bell.
290
00:16:18,845 --> 00:16:21,490
I'm gonna squeeze you
like a tube of anchovy paste.
291
00:16:21,514 --> 00:16:22,791
No, no, no!
292
00:16:22,815 --> 00:16:25,261
You'll never take me alive.
293
00:16:31,057 --> 00:16:33,035
Sorry about that, Mind.
294
00:16:33,059 --> 00:16:36,238
Oh, boy. I've got them
comin' and goin' here.
295
00:16:36,262 --> 00:16:37,974
Hold on a second.
296
00:16:37,998 --> 00:16:40,676
What are you doing,
Rockette kicks?
297
00:16:40,700 --> 00:16:42,211
Is it time for a little yoga?
298
00:16:48,941 --> 00:16:51,687
Whew. Ooh.
299
00:16:51,711 --> 00:16:54,231
We should get a deposit
on all these empties.
300
00:16:58,318 --> 00:17:01,497
Well, hi there, hot stuff.
301
00:17:01,521 --> 00:17:02,931
Big kiss.
302
00:17:02,955 --> 00:17:04,435
Mmmmm.
303
00:17:05,425 --> 00:17:07,836
Wha...? Huh!
304
00:17:07,860 --> 00:17:11,595
Listen, I asked for somebody
warm, not a human hickey maker.
305
00:17:12,665 --> 00:17:14,510
You're cute.
306
00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:16,145
Today, boy.
307
00:17:16,169 --> 00:17:18,147
Tonight, man.
308
00:17:19,205 --> 00:17:20,983
Listen, I'm a very
kind, innocent...
309
00:17:21,007 --> 00:17:22,551
Innocent little alien.
310
00:17:22,575 --> 00:17:23,685
Ooh.
311
00:17:23,709 --> 00:17:25,154
I'm not.
312
00:17:30,083 --> 00:17:32,194
Oh, listen, please. I-I wanna
wear white at my wedding.
313
00:17:32,218 --> 00:17:33,862
Ooh. Oh.
314
00:17:33,886 --> 00:17:36,365
Why don't I slip into
somethin' more comfortable,
315
00:17:36,389 --> 00:17:38,267
like skin?
316
00:17:38,291 --> 00:17:41,203
No, no, no, no, no. You...
You... You can't go in there.
317
00:17:41,227 --> 00:17:43,539
Oh, try to stop me, blue eyes.
318
00:17:43,563 --> 00:17:45,629
Oh. Oh!
319
00:17:46,799 --> 00:17:48,032
Ooh! Ooh!
320
00:17:51,438 --> 00:17:53,049
By tonight, my darling,
321
00:17:53,073 --> 00:17:55,584
you'll be needing a lip retread.
322
00:17:55,608 --> 00:17:58,921
I'm going to drive you to
China for Jewish food. Oh!
323
00:17:58,945 --> 00:18:01,890
I'm startin' to get to you, huh?
324
00:18:01,914 --> 00:18:05,027
Quick, fondle me with your eyes.
325
00:18:05,051 --> 00:18:06,295
Tell you what. Better than that,
326
00:18:06,319 --> 00:18:07,829
let's sip champagne
from your slipper,
327
00:18:07,853 --> 00:18:09,265
eh, ma petite?
328
00:18:09,289 --> 00:18:13,436
All right, my scruffy
rogue, but find it first.
329
00:18:13,460 --> 00:18:14,670
Oh, I'll find it for you.
330
00:18:14,694 --> 00:18:17,706
Ohhh, bingo.
331
00:18:17,730 --> 00:18:19,608
Oh. Eee!
332
00:18:19,632 --> 00:18:22,866
I will sip from no
slipper before its time.
333
00:18:25,638 --> 00:18:27,583
Oh, let's make it a double.
334
00:18:29,775 --> 00:18:32,455
Phew. At least I
found her turnoff.
335
00:18:32,479 --> 00:18:34,278
Up you go, my l...
336
00:18:44,790 --> 00:18:46,235
Oh, oh.
337
00:18:46,259 --> 00:18:48,226
Make room for one more.
338
00:18:52,665 --> 00:18:54,910
Oh, boy, you're stacking
up like cordwood in here.
339
00:18:56,769 --> 00:18:58,314
Hey, you.
340
00:18:58,338 --> 00:18:59,615
Hello.
341
00:18:59,639 --> 00:19:02,406
What are you doing?
Oh, just tidying up.
342
00:19:03,243 --> 00:19:04,886
I saw what you did.
343
00:19:04,910 --> 00:19:06,455
You put a person in there.
344
00:19:06,479 --> 00:19:08,890
I-in fact, it looks
like Miss McConnell.
345
00:19:08,914 --> 00:19:11,127
It's Ms. McConnell to you.
346
00:19:11,151 --> 00:19:14,263
I-I'm gonna call the police.
I-I'm g-gonna call the police.
347
00:19:14,287 --> 00:19:15,998
It's just an ostrich. Please.
348
00:19:16,022 --> 00:19:17,633
You're a murderer.
That's what you are.
349
00:19:17,657 --> 00:19:19,602
No. No, please. You don't
understand. No, please.
350
00:19:19,626 --> 00:19:21,003
Hello? Hello, operator?
351
00:19:21,027 --> 00:19:23,705
Get me the police. I
want to report a murder.
352
00:19:23,729 --> 00:19:25,174
No, no, sir. No... Hi, Mork.
353
00:19:27,867 --> 00:19:32,314
Never mind. It's not as
important as I thought.
354
00:19:32,338 --> 00:19:34,517
Miss McConnell. You're alive.
355
00:19:34,541 --> 00:19:37,486
Well, thank you. So are you.
356
00:19:37,510 --> 00:19:39,355
What's going on here?
357
00:19:39,379 --> 00:19:41,223
Yeah, but y-you can't be here.
358
00:19:41,247 --> 00:19:44,493
I just saw him stuff
your body into that closet.
359
00:19:44,517 --> 00:19:45,561
Here, I'll show you.
360
00:19:45,585 --> 00:19:48,063
No, no, no, no,
no, no. No, no, no!
361
00:19:48,087 --> 00:19:51,066
It's an ostrich convention here.
You don't wanna disturb them.
362
00:19:51,090 --> 00:19:52,768
Look, I saw you put
someone in there,
363
00:19:52,792 --> 00:19:56,305
and I'm gonna find out
what's going on around here.
364
00:19:56,329 --> 00:19:59,775
All right! All right,
Mr. Smarty-pants,
365
00:19:59,799 --> 00:20:00,942
you wanna know what's in there?
366
00:20:00,966 --> 00:20:02,511
Yeah.
367
00:20:02,535 --> 00:20:05,055
Okay, I'll show
you what's in there.
368
00:20:06,372 --> 00:20:08,617
I'm opening the door.
369
00:20:08,641 --> 00:20:10,074
I'm reaching in.
370
00:20:12,378 --> 00:20:15,957
It's just your typical mop
with jeans and a sweater.
371
00:20:15,981 --> 00:20:20,596
A perfectly logical
explanation... sort of.
372
00:20:20,620 --> 00:20:22,531
I'm getting outta here.
373
00:20:22,555 --> 00:20:26,134
I-I-I can't... I'm
getting outta here.
374
00:20:26,158 --> 00:20:28,136
Maybe I'll move
back to the Bronx,
375
00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:29,993
where it's safe.
376
00:20:32,164 --> 00:20:34,543
What is going on here?
377
00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:36,778
Why does this mop
have my picture on it?
378
00:20:36,802 --> 00:20:39,248
Well, that's... That's kind
of hard to explain, Mind.
379
00:20:39,272 --> 00:20:40,816
I'll bet. What's
really in the armoire?
380
00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:42,406
Mind, you don't wanna...
381
00:20:51,618 --> 00:20:55,085
Mork, where'd you
get the dead Mindys?
382
00:20:58,324 --> 00:20:59,768
They're not dead, Mind.
383
00:20:59,792 --> 00:21:02,137
It's just my personal
pile of perkiness.
384
00:21:02,161 --> 00:21:04,005
Ar-ar-ar-ar!
385
00:21:04,029 --> 00:21:06,442
Now, don't touch their
feet, Mind. Touch their feet?
386
00:21:06,466 --> 00:21:08,277
I don't even wanna
touch the armoire.
387
00:21:08,301 --> 00:21:09,811
What are they doing in there?
388
00:21:09,835 --> 00:21:10,812
The elder made them.
389
00:21:10,836 --> 00:21:12,180
The eld...? The elder's here?
390
00:21:12,204 --> 00:21:14,283
Oh, he's upstairs right now,
cranking out some more.
391
00:21:14,307 --> 00:21:16,518
Oh, we gotta stop him.
392
00:21:16,542 --> 00:21:18,153
Up above, s...
393
00:21:18,177 --> 00:21:20,289
Sir. What's wrong?
394
00:21:20,313 --> 00:21:22,391
I'm a failure, Mork.
395
00:21:22,415 --> 00:21:26,094
An 87-year-old has-been.
396
00:21:26,118 --> 00:21:30,499
I tried to recreate a
Mindy. I really tried.
397
00:21:30,523 --> 00:21:33,569
But all I could make
were cheap imitations,
398
00:21:33,593 --> 00:21:36,372
like this one.
399
00:21:36,396 --> 00:21:39,207
Well, sir, this is her.
This is the real McConnell.
400
00:21:39,231 --> 00:21:42,210
Please, Mork. Please, Mork.
401
00:21:42,234 --> 00:21:43,746
Don't humor me.
402
00:21:43,770 --> 00:21:46,682
Suddenly I feel very old.
403
00:21:46,706 --> 00:21:48,606
Awwww.
404
00:21:50,476 --> 00:21:53,756
The soft-lapped
one. It's really you.
405
00:21:53,780 --> 00:21:55,457
Well, of course it's me.
406
00:21:55,481 --> 00:21:58,226
Uh, welcome to Earth, uh... Ugh.
407
00:21:58,250 --> 00:21:59,928
Um...
408
00:21:59,952 --> 00:22:04,266
What are all those, eh,
me's doing in the closet?
409
00:22:04,290 --> 00:22:06,368
Oh, Mind, Mind, don't blame him.
410
00:22:06,392 --> 00:22:08,837
I asked him to make them for
me because I really missed you.
411
00:22:08,861 --> 00:22:13,442
Well, I missed you too,
Mork, but that's a little strange.
412
00:22:13,466 --> 00:22:15,744
I mean, they look just like me.
413
00:22:15,768 --> 00:22:19,047
That's just on the outside,
not the part we really missed.
414
00:22:19,071 --> 00:22:21,183
I've learned a valuable lesson:
415
00:22:21,207 --> 00:22:24,286
Humans aren't
toys to tinker with.
416
00:22:24,310 --> 00:22:25,521
Seeing you again
417
00:22:25,545 --> 00:22:28,424
is the best birthday present
I could possibly have.
418
00:22:28,448 --> 00:22:29,758
Oh, it's your birthday?
419
00:22:29,782 --> 00:22:32,761
Oh, happy birthday.
420
00:22:32,785 --> 00:22:36,432
If I were only 30
bleams younger,
421
00:22:36,456 --> 00:22:38,434
I'd still be too old for you.
422
00:22:40,526 --> 00:22:43,038
Well, uh, what
about all the Mindys?
423
00:22:43,062 --> 00:22:46,241
Oh, I'll take them back
to Ork for scientific study.
424
00:22:46,265 --> 00:22:48,276
You can keep the one upstairs.
425
00:22:48,300 --> 00:22:51,112
Upstairs? You... You mean
there's another one up in the attic?
426
00:22:51,136 --> 00:22:55,884
Yes, except she didn't
turn out exactly as I hoped.
427
00:22:55,908 --> 00:22:58,053
Let me introduce you.
428
00:22:58,077 --> 00:23:01,211
Oh, Mindy. Mindy!
429
00:23:03,683 --> 00:23:07,451
Hi, Mork. Big kiss.
430
00:23:21,734 --> 00:23:23,245
Mork calling Orson.
431
00:23:23,269 --> 00:23:25,381
Come in, Orson.
432
00:23:25,405 --> 00:23:29,284
Mork calling Orson.
Come in, Orson.
433
00:23:29,308 --> 00:23:33,154
Mork calling Orson. Come
in, Your Jelly-bellyness.
434
00:23:33,178 --> 00:23:34,222
You like that one, Beebs?
435
00:23:34,246 --> 00:23:36,324
Does that tickle your fancy?
436
00:23:36,348 --> 00:23:38,360
I got a million of
them. Ha-ha-ha-ha.
437
00:23:38,384 --> 00:23:41,096
And I've heard them all. Twice.
438
00:23:41,120 --> 00:23:42,564
Get to your report, Mork.
439
00:23:42,588 --> 00:23:44,266
Oh, yes, sir, Your Snippiness.
440
00:23:44,290 --> 00:23:46,902
This week, sir, I've prepared
a very special report for you.
441
00:23:46,926 --> 00:23:48,437
I finally found out
what distinguishes
442
00:23:48,461 --> 00:23:49,905
one Earthling from another.
443
00:23:49,929 --> 00:23:52,207
Funny. They all
look alike to me.
444
00:23:52,231 --> 00:23:53,842
Oh, that may be true,
mein hippodrome.
445
00:23:53,866 --> 00:23:55,076
But every person has something
446
00:23:55,100 --> 00:23:56,845
that makes him unique
and very, very special.
447
00:23:56,869 --> 00:23:58,647
It's called a personality.
448
00:23:58,671 --> 00:24:01,517
Could you show me
one? Well, um, no, sir.
449
00:24:01,541 --> 00:24:03,151
It's not something
you could see or touch,
450
00:24:03,175 --> 00:24:05,554
but it's something that reaches
out and touches other people.
451
00:24:05,578 --> 00:24:07,890
It's... It makes each one of
them very, very, very different.
452
00:24:07,914 --> 00:24:10,392
Isn't that inefficient?
Oh, you bet, sir,
453
00:24:10,416 --> 00:24:12,994
but that's what makes life on
this planet so darn interesting.
454
00:24:13,018 --> 00:24:14,996
You see, sir, thanks
to personalities,
455
00:24:15,020 --> 00:24:17,733
even the most identical
twin is not the same.
456
00:24:17,757 --> 00:24:20,101
Even the shortest person
can stand out in a crowd.
457
00:24:20,125 --> 00:24:22,003
They all may have the same
number of chromosomes,
458
00:24:22,027 --> 00:24:24,372
but each person has
his own designer genes.
459
00:24:24,396 --> 00:24:27,943
♪ Ooh, la-la, na-no ♪
460
00:24:27,967 --> 00:24:30,378
♪ Ooh, la-la, na-no ♪
461
00:24:30,402 --> 00:24:32,915
Until next week,
sir, na-no, na-no.
33709
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