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1
00:00:02,903 --> 00:00:05,115
Na-no, na-no!
2
00:01:30,291 --> 00:01:32,269
Oh, now, don't worry, honey.
3
00:01:32,293 --> 00:01:33,770
You'll get a job soon.
4
00:01:33,794 --> 00:01:35,838
I hope so.
5
00:01:35,862 --> 00:01:37,941
Well, Mindy, you know,
if it wasn't for something
6
00:01:37,965 --> 00:01:39,776
my father told me,
7
00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:41,278
I never would have
gotten my first job.
8
00:01:41,302 --> 00:01:42,612
What did he say?
9
00:01:42,636 --> 00:01:44,869
"Get outta the house, you bum."
10
00:01:46,474 --> 00:01:47,650
And if you're real good,
11
00:01:47,674 --> 00:01:50,920
I'll take you to
see Popeye again.
12
00:01:50,944 --> 00:01:53,590
I wonder how he
got those big arms.
13
00:01:53,614 --> 00:01:54,924
Oh, Min, Min.
14
00:01:54,948 --> 00:01:56,393
Hi. Hi, kids.
15
00:01:56,417 --> 00:01:57,894
Oh, I have wonderful
news for you, Min.
16
00:01:57,918 --> 00:01:59,729
Bon appétit, Stephanie.
17
00:01:59,753 --> 00:02:01,598
All the other munchkins,
I told all of them today
18
00:02:01,622 --> 00:02:03,133
that you were looking for a job
19
00:02:03,157 --> 00:02:04,968
because you're tired
of seeing me fretting,
20
00:02:04,992 --> 00:02:06,736
going, "Will she get
the job or will she end up
21
00:02:06,760 --> 00:02:08,171
"as the bag lady of Boulder,
22
00:02:08,195 --> 00:02:10,640
fighting alley cats
for fish heads?"
23
00:02:10,664 --> 00:02:12,976
Lola, tell her the good
news. Lay it on her, Lola.
24
00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:16,179
My uncle manages
KTNS, the TV station,
25
00:02:16,203 --> 00:02:18,948
and I think there's a job
available in the newsroom.
26
00:02:18,972 --> 00:02:21,684
Oh, thanks, anyway, Lola,
but I've already been over
27
00:02:21,708 --> 00:02:24,621
to KTNS two and three times,
and there's nothing available.
28
00:02:24,645 --> 00:02:27,757
You're spinning your wheels.
29
00:02:27,781 --> 00:02:29,359
Get a job at the House of Pies.
30
00:02:29,383 --> 00:02:33,163
I eat there a lot.
31
00:02:33,187 --> 00:02:35,499
Stephanie eats everywhere a lot.
32
00:02:35,523 --> 00:02:38,901
Lola's uncle said there'd
be a job opening today, Mind.
33
00:02:38,925 --> 00:02:41,971
Really? Well, maybe
I do stand a chance.
34
00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:43,640
I don't see why not.
35
00:02:43,664 --> 00:02:47,098
You're attractive to men,
yet no threat to women.
36
00:02:49,170 --> 00:02:53,004
You know, when she
talks, E.F. Hutton listens.
37
00:02:54,642 --> 00:02:56,753
Here's my uncle's card.
38
00:02:56,777 --> 00:03:01,324
And, oh, by the way,
take one of mine.
39
00:03:01,348 --> 00:03:02,859
Thank you.
40
00:03:02,883 --> 00:03:05,162
Come on, Stephanie,
I gotta get home.
41
00:03:05,186 --> 00:03:07,118
Carl Sagan's on Cavett.
42
00:03:10,090 --> 00:03:12,469
You might have a better
chance of getting a job
43
00:03:12,493 --> 00:03:14,493
if you weren't so skinny.
44
00:03:15,962 --> 00:03:17,541
Are you gonna call the station?
45
00:03:17,565 --> 00:03:20,510
Well, you bet.
46
00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:22,546
Oh, boy. Isn't it
wonderful, pops?
47
00:03:22,570 --> 00:03:24,047
I mean, today, little
Mindy McConnell
48
00:03:24,071 --> 00:03:25,415
from a local TV station.
49
00:03:25,439 --> 00:03:28,273
Tomorrow, Fred Silverwoman!
50
00:03:30,611 --> 00:03:31,655
Oh, Min.
51
00:03:31,679 --> 00:03:33,056
Hello, KTNS? Shh!
52
00:03:33,080 --> 00:03:35,725
Yes, I understand
you have a job opening.
53
00:03:35,749 --> 00:03:38,528
Oh, my name's Mindy McConnell,
and, uh, I'd be very interested
54
00:03:38,552 --> 00:03:40,730
in coming down for an interview.
55
00:03:40,754 --> 00:03:43,266
Oh, yeah, I can do that.
56
00:03:43,290 --> 00:03:46,069
Oh, sure, I can do that.
57
00:03:46,093 --> 00:03:48,738
Well, I can try to do that.
58
00:03:48,762 --> 00:03:50,473
Okay, fine. Tomorrow at 4.
59
00:03:50,497 --> 00:03:52,709
Very good. Thank you. Bye-bye.
60
00:03:52,733 --> 00:03:54,533
What did they say,
Mind? All I could hear was:
61
00:03:56,770 --> 00:03:58,582
Well, they said
every now and then
62
00:03:58,606 --> 00:04:00,417
I'd have to be on camera.
63
00:04:00,441 --> 00:04:02,285
I mean, I've never
been on camera before.
64
00:04:02,309 --> 00:04:04,020
Oh, come on now, Mind,
I saw those home movies
65
00:04:04,044 --> 00:04:05,422
your father made
when you were 2.
66
00:04:05,446 --> 00:04:06,923
You're a natural.
Remember this one?
67
00:04:06,947 --> 00:04:08,925
Wee!
68
00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:13,496
Thank you, miss,
69
00:04:13,520 --> 00:04:16,020
but we're looking for
someone with more experience.
70
00:04:23,464 --> 00:04:27,076
Boy, this weather. I just
about missed my chance.
71
00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:28,378
My interview's at 4:00.
72
00:04:28,402 --> 00:04:30,213
Oh, mine's at 4:20. I'm early.
73
00:04:30,237 --> 00:04:31,237
Yeah.
74
00:04:33,974 --> 00:04:35,184
You know, you look...
75
00:04:35,208 --> 00:04:37,175
Oh, no.
76
00:04:40,748 --> 00:04:42,792
Sure is crowded in here, huh?
77
00:04:42,816 --> 00:04:45,295
Mm. Sure is.
78
00:04:45,319 --> 00:04:47,264
My name's Mindy McConnell.
79
00:04:47,288 --> 00:04:50,032
Mine's Mandy McDonald.
80
00:04:50,056 --> 00:04:51,100
What a coincidence.
81
00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:52,469
Isn't it, though?
82
00:04:52,493 --> 00:04:54,237
I bet you're a
journalism major too.
83
00:04:54,261 --> 00:04:55,572
Yeah, how did you know?
84
00:04:55,596 --> 00:04:57,329
Most of these girls here are.
85
00:05:00,467 --> 00:05:03,045
You all travel as a group?
86
00:05:03,069 --> 00:05:05,181
No, I bump into a lot of
them at these interviews.
87
00:05:05,205 --> 00:05:07,049
You know, there are
only so many jobs.
88
00:05:07,073 --> 00:05:08,585
Oh, you're telling me.
89
00:05:08,609 --> 00:05:09,986
It isn't as rosy
90
00:05:10,010 --> 00:05:11,655
as they lead you
to believe in college.
91
00:05:11,679 --> 00:05:12,689
Colorado State?
92
00:05:12,713 --> 00:05:16,259
Almost. University of Colorado.
93
00:05:16,283 --> 00:05:18,161
I graduated with honors.
94
00:05:18,185 --> 00:05:20,096
Oh. Me too.
95
00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:21,264
Oh.
96
00:05:21,288 --> 00:05:22,288
Good.
97
00:05:25,359 --> 00:05:28,805
You don't happen to live with
a guy named Mork, do you?
98
00:05:28,829 --> 00:05:30,829
Not anymore.
99
00:05:32,933 --> 00:05:34,511
You know a Mork?
100
00:05:34,535 --> 00:05:36,646
Oh, I thought you said "Mark."
101
00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:38,815
That's my old boyfriend.
102
00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:41,384
Oh, Mark and Mandy.
103
00:05:41,408 --> 00:05:43,041
Cute.
104
00:05:45,579 --> 00:05:47,223
You know, it's amazing.
105
00:05:47,247 --> 00:05:49,058
You think you're so
special when you graduate.
106
00:05:49,082 --> 00:05:50,627
Then you get out in the world
107
00:05:50,651 --> 00:05:53,062
and you find you're
just another perky face.
108
00:05:53,086 --> 00:05:55,286
I don't believe this!
109
00:05:57,891 --> 00:06:01,125
Next: McConnell, Mindy.
110
00:06:13,807 --> 00:06:15,985
I'm McConnell, Mindy.
111
00:06:16,009 --> 00:06:18,154
I mean, Mindy McConnell.
112
00:06:18,178 --> 00:06:19,389
Miles Sternhagen,
113
00:06:19,413 --> 00:06:21,391
I am station manager of KTNS.
114
00:06:21,415 --> 00:06:24,193
Oh.
115
00:06:24,217 --> 00:06:26,329
Uh, it's nice weather, isn't it?
116
00:06:26,353 --> 00:06:28,231
No, it... It's snowing.
117
00:06:28,255 --> 00:06:30,734
Oh. Right.
118
00:06:30,758 --> 00:06:31,901
Um, Miss McConnell,
119
00:06:31,925 --> 00:06:33,570
what are your qualifications?
120
00:06:33,594 --> 00:06:35,505
Oh, my qualifications.
121
00:06:35,529 --> 00:06:38,174
Well, I graduated with honors
from the University of Colorado,
122
00:06:38,198 --> 00:06:40,744
and I served three years
on the school newspaper,
123
00:06:40,768 --> 00:06:43,279
and I was associate
editor of the yearbook...
124
00:06:43,303 --> 00:06:44,848
Miss, uh, McConnell,
125
00:06:44,872 --> 00:06:47,384
have you ever had any
experience in the field?
126
00:06:47,408 --> 00:06:49,018
Uh, no, but I really feel...
127
00:06:49,042 --> 00:06:50,420
Thank you very much,
128
00:06:50,444 --> 00:06:52,021
but I'm looking for
someone who has.
129
00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:55,881
Thank you.
130
00:07:02,890 --> 00:07:04,601
Excuse me, Mr. Sternhagen,
131
00:07:04,625 --> 00:07:06,302
but there's something
I'd like to say.
132
00:07:06,326 --> 00:07:08,070
Yes?
133
00:07:08,094 --> 00:07:09,972
I know you've probably
met a lot of people like me.
134
00:07:09,996 --> 00:07:11,974
Well, I-I'd like you to
know that I've certainly met
135
00:07:11,998 --> 00:07:13,543
a lot of people like you too.
136
00:07:13,567 --> 00:07:15,144
You all claim that you
wanna hire someone
137
00:07:15,168 --> 00:07:17,179
with experience, and yet
you'll never give any of us
138
00:07:17,203 --> 00:07:18,615
the chance to get any.
139
00:07:18,639 --> 00:07:21,350
You probably wouldn't
have sent a man to the moon
140
00:07:21,374 --> 00:07:23,620
because he hadn't
been there before.
141
00:07:23,644 --> 00:07:25,321
Well, I may not be experienced,
142
00:07:25,345 --> 00:07:27,557
but I'm intelligent, and
capable, and hard working,
143
00:07:27,581 --> 00:07:29,392
and I'd do a darn good job.
144
00:07:29,416 --> 00:07:33,051
No, I'd do a damn good job!
145
00:07:39,660 --> 00:07:42,439
Miss McConnell, you
believe in speaking your mind.
146
00:07:42,463 --> 00:07:43,940
Yes.
147
00:07:43,964 --> 00:07:46,743
That's why I
fired the last girl.
148
00:07:46,767 --> 00:07:49,345
Maybe I ought to
take a chance on you
149
00:07:49,369 --> 00:07:50,980
if you're willing to
work for 200 a week.
150
00:07:51,004 --> 00:07:52,916
I'd do it for half that.
151
00:07:52,940 --> 00:07:54,216
Oh, no, that...
152
00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:55,217
That wouldn't be fair.
153
00:07:55,241 --> 00:07:58,555
Uh, let's make it 110.
154
00:07:58,579 --> 00:08:01,190
I can't believe it! You
mean you're hiring me?
155
00:08:01,214 --> 00:08:03,225
I don't even know
what the job is.
156
00:08:03,249 --> 00:08:04,761
Well, it's not
all that thrilling.
157
00:08:04,785 --> 00:08:06,062
This is a small station.
158
00:08:06,086 --> 00:08:07,797
Not like when I
was at the network.
159
00:08:07,821 --> 00:08:10,567
Then, when I turned
down Cronkite and Rather,
160
00:08:10,591 --> 00:08:12,469
well, it mattered.
161
00:08:12,493 --> 00:08:16,138
That's, uh, why I'm here
in Denver's, uh... appendix.
162
00:08:16,162 --> 00:08:18,641
Uh, but then,
that's old business.
163
00:08:18,665 --> 00:08:20,443
As far as the job
goes, Miss McConnell,
164
00:08:20,467 --> 00:08:24,046
you'll do any number
of trivial odds and ends,
165
00:08:24,070 --> 00:08:27,316
and fill in on camera
for whoever's not here.
166
00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:30,119
Oh, well, don't you want
to audition me or anything?
167
00:08:30,143 --> 00:08:32,355
You seem to have a
lot of faith in yourself.
168
00:08:32,379 --> 00:08:34,290
We'll try you out on the air.
169
00:08:34,314 --> 00:08:36,759
Tonight on the late news,
you'll do the weather report.
170
00:08:36,783 --> 00:08:39,484
Uh, Dewey Fishbeck
is out with the croup.
171
00:08:41,822 --> 00:08:44,367
Gee, tonight.
172
00:08:44,391 --> 00:08:46,035
That just seems so soon.
173
00:08:46,059 --> 00:08:47,704
I mean, I've never really done
174
00:08:47,728 --> 00:08:49,405
too much of that kind of thing.
175
00:08:49,429 --> 00:08:50,807
Well, that's all right.
176
00:08:50,831 --> 00:08:52,864
If you're no
good, I'll fire you.
177
00:08:54,801 --> 00:08:56,746
Power is dizzying.
178
00:08:58,471 --> 00:09:00,783
Well...
179
00:09:00,807 --> 00:09:03,775
I promise you you won't
be sorry, Mr. Stainhergen.
180
00:09:05,646 --> 00:09:07,189
That's Sternhagen,
181
00:09:07,213 --> 00:09:08,190
Oh.
182
00:09:08,214 --> 00:09:11,060
And I'm already sorry.
183
00:09:11,084 --> 00:09:14,063
Oh, no. Heh-heh.
184
00:09:25,432 --> 00:09:28,244
Doesn't Mork wanna
celebrate with us?
185
00:09:28,268 --> 00:09:30,179
Oh, Mork doesn't
drink champagne.
186
00:09:30,203 --> 00:09:34,517
He feels it just perpetuates
cruelty to grapes.
187
00:09:34,541 --> 00:09:36,485
Oh, he's such a
little snugglepuss.
188
00:09:36,509 --> 00:09:39,889
I wish I could buy
one somewhere.
189
00:09:39,913 --> 00:09:42,892
Mm. I just love your
choice of champagne.
190
00:09:42,916 --> 00:09:45,929
Oh, me too. It's so much
better than the champagne
191
00:09:45,953 --> 00:09:47,263
Remo gets for the restaurant.
192
00:09:47,287 --> 00:09:49,832
That stuff comes in cans.
193
00:09:49,856 --> 00:09:53,836
Well, I better be going
before the snow gets worse.
194
00:09:53,860 --> 00:09:55,905
Now, Cathy and I will be
watching you tonight, honey,
195
00:09:55,929 --> 00:09:58,441
and I just can't wait to
see how you're going to slip
196
00:09:58,465 --> 00:10:01,778
"Hi, Dad" into a weather report.
197
00:10:01,802 --> 00:10:05,870
Oh, that man is such
a social lubricant.
198
00:10:08,976 --> 00:10:10,620
Uh... So tell me, Mindy,
199
00:10:10,644 --> 00:10:12,555
what are you gonna wear
on the air tonight, hm?
200
00:10:12,579 --> 00:10:16,859
Wear? Oh, I don't know.
Just my regular Mindy clothes.
201
00:10:16,883 --> 00:10:20,396
Jeanie, dear, it doesn't
matter what she wears.
202
00:10:20,420 --> 00:10:22,098
It's what she projects.
203
00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:23,766
Now, Mindy, you're
going to be on
204
00:10:23,790 --> 00:10:26,069
at 10:00 at night, right?
205
00:10:26,093 --> 00:10:28,337
Well, if I were you,
I'd cater to the mood
206
00:10:28,361 --> 00:10:30,539
of a late night adult audience.
207
00:10:30,563 --> 00:10:31,708
How?
208
00:10:31,732 --> 00:10:33,131
Well...
209
00:10:35,201 --> 00:10:36,846
Hello, Boulder.
210
00:10:36,870 --> 00:10:41,250
Welcome to the
joy of weather, by M.
211
00:10:41,274 --> 00:10:43,653
We'll get to the weather later.
212
00:10:43,677 --> 00:10:47,156
But first, I dance for you.
213
00:10:47,180 --> 00:10:48,925
Glenda!
214
00:10:48,949 --> 00:10:52,150
I wouldn't talk like
that on my honeymoon!
215
00:10:53,720 --> 00:10:55,932
I don't know. I think maybe
you should just be yourself.
216
00:10:55,956 --> 00:10:59,902
You know, like, "Hi, I'm
Mindy. Isn't the weather great?
217
00:10:59,926 --> 00:11:02,471
"There's a real cute
blizzard out there,
218
00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:04,741
"and don't you
just want to write
219
00:11:04,765 --> 00:11:06,408
a thank-you note to Jack Frost?"
220
00:11:06,432 --> 00:11:08,144
You know, something
like that, maybe.
221
00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:10,412
Thanks.
222
00:11:10,436 --> 00:11:12,348
Oh, would you look at that snow?
223
00:11:12,372 --> 00:11:13,850
Oh, we'd better go, Jeanie.
224
00:11:13,874 --> 00:11:16,941
Oh, I am so glad I bought
those Gucci snow tires.
225
00:11:19,179 --> 00:11:21,090
Well, thanks for
coming over, you guys.
226
00:11:21,114 --> 00:11:24,727
Mindy, they don't really make
Gucci snow tires, do they?
227
00:11:24,751 --> 00:11:26,395
I hope not.
228
00:11:26,419 --> 00:11:27,664
Bye-bye. Goodbye!
229
00:11:27,688 --> 00:11:29,921
We'll be watching you.
230
00:11:34,460 --> 00:11:36,539
Hello, Boulder.
231
00:11:36,563 --> 00:11:40,043
Welcome to the
joy of weather, by...
232
00:11:40,067 --> 00:11:42,111
Oh, God!
233
00:11:47,174 --> 00:11:48,885
Are you Mindy McConnell?
234
00:11:48,909 --> 00:11:51,253
Yes, I am, and this
is my friend Mork.
235
00:11:51,277 --> 00:11:53,856
I'm Jake Loomis, your cameraman.
236
00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:55,491
I'm surprised you got through.
237
00:11:55,515 --> 00:11:57,960
Nobody else did. The
whole town's snowed in.
238
00:11:57,984 --> 00:11:59,929
Oh. Well, I have a
4-wheel drive Jeep.
239
00:11:59,953 --> 00:12:01,798
What do you mean nobody's here?
240
00:12:01,822 --> 00:12:03,800
Just me and the engineer.
241
00:12:03,824 --> 00:12:05,735
Yeah, I been here all night.
242
00:12:05,759 --> 00:12:08,504
Show business is my life.
243
00:12:08,528 --> 00:12:11,040
Well, who's gonna do the news?
244
00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:12,575
Search me.
245
00:12:12,599 --> 00:12:14,143
Hold on, Min. Hold on a second.
246
00:12:14,167 --> 00:12:16,012
Hold it! Hold it right there!
247
00:12:16,036 --> 00:12:17,680
He's clean, Min.
248
00:12:17,704 --> 00:12:22,384
I thought all the
flakes were outside.
249
00:12:22,408 --> 00:12:25,021
Oh, uh, whoever showed up
250
00:12:25,045 --> 00:12:26,689
is supposed to
call, uh, Sternhagen
251
00:12:26,713 --> 00:12:27,924
here at this number right away.
252
00:12:27,948 --> 00:12:29,525
Phone's behind the desk there.
253
00:12:29,549 --> 00:12:32,561
Better hurry up, the
movie's almost over.
254
00:12:32,585 --> 00:12:34,697
Oh, look, it's my favorite, Min.
255
00:12:34,721 --> 00:12:36,654
Benji Shaves his Legs.
256
00:12:39,325 --> 00:12:40,469
Hello, Mr. Sternhagen?
257
00:12:40,493 --> 00:12:42,571
Yeah, this is Mindy McConnell.
258
00:12:42,595 --> 00:12:45,641
Well, I guess I'm the only one
that made it through the snow.
259
00:12:45,665 --> 00:12:49,946
Well... So I guess we're
not doing the news tonight?
260
00:12:49,970 --> 00:12:51,714
Oh, no, no, I don't think...
261
00:12:51,738 --> 00:12:53,916
No, no, no, I
couldn't possibly...
262
00:12:53,940 --> 00:12:55,618
Oh, I see.
263
00:12:55,642 --> 00:12:59,188
Okay, I-I'll try. Bye.
264
00:12:59,212 --> 00:13:01,157
You handled that well, Min.
265
00:13:01,181 --> 00:13:03,559
Mork, he said that
there's a half an hour
266
00:13:03,583 --> 00:13:05,161
until the station signs off.
267
00:13:05,185 --> 00:13:06,929
He said he doesn't
want to lose his sponsors,
268
00:13:06,953 --> 00:13:08,297
and he said he wants me to fill
269
00:13:08,321 --> 00:13:10,299
the whole half
hour all by myself.
270
00:13:10,323 --> 00:13:11,768
What am I gonna
do? I don't know.
271
00:13:11,792 --> 00:13:14,370
You're on in 15
seconds, Miss McConnell.
272
00:13:14,394 --> 00:13:16,839
Here's the news and
weather. There's the camera.
273
00:13:16,863 --> 00:13:18,241
Don't blow it.
274
00:13:18,265 --> 00:13:19,541
Thanks, no pressure.
275
00:13:19,565 --> 00:13:20,810
Will you hold
those for a second?
276
00:13:20,834 --> 00:13:22,444
All right. Five,
277
00:13:22,468 --> 00:13:25,047
four, three...
278
00:13:25,071 --> 00:13:26,949
Mork, give me those, quick!
279
00:13:26,973 --> 00:13:28,940
Oh, here, min. Catch!
280
00:13:31,678 --> 00:13:33,644
You're on.
281
00:13:39,986 --> 00:13:41,630
Good evening.
282
00:13:41,654 --> 00:13:43,399
I'm Mindy McConnell,
283
00:13:43,423 --> 00:13:46,803
and tonight, I'll bre
binging you the news...
284
00:13:46,827 --> 00:13:48,659
from all over.
285
00:14:01,174 --> 00:14:04,320
A news report has
just been handed to me.
286
00:14:04,344 --> 00:14:06,956
Thank you.
287
00:14:06,980 --> 00:14:10,048
"Expected to be
over by December."
288
00:14:12,652 --> 00:14:15,553
And that's the news for tonight.
289
00:14:25,131 --> 00:14:28,211
Another news bulletin has
just been handed to me.
290
00:14:28,235 --> 00:14:31,435
"Thousands flee in terror as..."
291
00:14:36,977 --> 00:14:40,678
"The pope blesses
visitors to the Vatican."
292
00:14:43,016 --> 00:14:45,316
And that's the news.
293
00:14:48,188 --> 00:14:49,631
Mork, help me.
294
00:14:49,655 --> 00:14:50,900
What did you say, Min?
295
00:14:50,924 --> 00:14:53,369
Help me. MORK: Oh.
296
00:14:53,393 --> 00:14:56,072
Mork the video
junkie to the rescue!
297
00:14:56,096 --> 00:14:59,275
Hello, good evening.
298
00:14:59,299 --> 00:15:01,310
Thank you very much,
Mindy McConnell.
299
00:15:01,334 --> 00:15:02,400
Thank you...
300
00:15:06,839 --> 00:15:09,118
Thanks for dropping in tonight.
301
00:15:09,142 --> 00:15:12,388
Yes, hello, we have the
news from Boulder, Colorado.
302
00:15:12,412 --> 00:15:14,190
As we like to call
it, "The Mindy City."
303
00:15:14,214 --> 00:15:17,059
Ar, ar!
304
00:15:17,083 --> 00:15:20,763
And now for the news
with Walter Morkite.
305
00:15:20,787 --> 00:15:22,731
Hello, I'm Walter Morkite,
306
00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:26,002
with Dan Mork in London,
Morky Rather in Paris,
307
00:15:26,026 --> 00:15:30,306
and Michael Mork
in women's clothes.
308
00:15:30,330 --> 00:15:32,308
News flash from
New York today...
309
00:15:32,332 --> 00:15:34,243
Chase Manhattan bank was robbed.
310
00:15:34,267 --> 00:15:36,212
Here's a description as follows:
311
00:15:36,236 --> 00:15:37,546
"Four stories high,
312
00:15:37,570 --> 00:15:39,637
lots of bricks, and
plenty of glass."
313
00:15:43,509 --> 00:15:44,787
Moving right along,
314
00:15:44,811 --> 00:15:48,324
to Washington D.C. Today
President Ronald Reagan
315
00:15:48,348 --> 00:15:50,759
replied to a group
of hecklers by saying,
316
00:15:50,783 --> 00:15:52,194
"What would this country be
317
00:15:52,218 --> 00:15:55,131
without this great
land of ours?"
318
00:15:55,155 --> 00:15:58,167
He also stunned
America on his acceptance
319
00:15:58,191 --> 00:15:59,668
of the presidency by going,
320
00:15:59,692 --> 00:16:02,260
"My fellow Americans, lie."
321
00:16:05,432 --> 00:16:08,577
Moving right along,
we go to Moscow.
322
00:16:08,601 --> 00:16:10,646
But first, we have...
Yes, we have the update.
323
00:16:10,670 --> 00:16:12,748
We're gonna have the
update from San Salvador.
324
00:16:12,772 --> 00:16:15,217
There's some physical
unrest up there, a little violence.
325
00:16:15,241 --> 00:16:17,386
We have the actual
footage of a riot
326
00:16:17,410 --> 00:16:20,544
taking place in San
Salvador. Take it away.
327
00:16:24,384 --> 00:16:26,028
We don't have the footage,
328
00:16:26,052 --> 00:16:27,629
so this is what
it would look like:
329
00:16:36,863 --> 00:16:39,108
Moving right along, also
from the Soviet Union,
330
00:16:39,132 --> 00:16:41,310
shot-putter Olga
Schwitz finally agreed
331
00:16:41,334 --> 00:16:43,679
to talk to the press
and deny the allegations
332
00:16:43,703 --> 00:16:46,815
that she has been taking
steroids all these years.
333
00:16:46,839 --> 00:16:48,250
She replied by merely saying:
334
00:16:51,411 --> 00:16:54,957
She also said that her 80-inch
bust was merely hereditary.
335
00:16:54,981 --> 00:16:57,360
Thank you, Olga.
336
00:16:57,384 --> 00:17:00,596
In the field of sports medicine,
another incredible breakthrough.
337
00:17:00,620 --> 00:17:04,733
It's called the Joe Garagiola
School of Childbirth.
338
00:17:04,757 --> 00:17:06,602
It happens in the
operating room,
339
00:17:06,626 --> 00:17:08,570
and it consists of a man
dressed in a catcher's mask
340
00:17:08,594 --> 00:17:10,039
and catcher's mitt going,
341
00:17:10,063 --> 00:17:12,674
"Yo, baby! Right
here, baby! Yo!"
342
00:17:23,009 --> 00:17:25,021
Ladies and gentlemen,
343
00:17:25,045 --> 00:17:27,023
you've got to
believe in something
344
00:17:27,047 --> 00:17:29,825
or you'll fall for
anything, yeah!
345
00:17:29,849 --> 00:17:33,095
I want to leave
you. Got to go now.
346
00:17:33,119 --> 00:17:34,863
But I want you to
know that you can fool
347
00:17:34,887 --> 00:17:37,566
some of the people
some of the time,
348
00:17:37,590 --> 00:17:41,337
and the rest will watch.
349
00:17:41,361 --> 00:17:44,073
So now we have a
brief spot announcement.
350
00:17:46,433 --> 00:17:49,078
Thank you, Spot.
351
00:17:49,102 --> 00:17:50,879
Thank you, yes!
352
00:17:50,903 --> 00:17:53,482
We're off. Ten
second commercial.
353
00:17:53,506 --> 00:17:54,950
Thank you.
354
00:17:54,974 --> 00:17:56,352
Mork, we're doing great.
355
00:17:56,376 --> 00:17:57,853
We only have a
couple minutes left.
356
00:17:57,877 --> 00:17:59,388
I've got the weather
report together.
357
00:17:59,412 --> 00:18:01,490
All right, Min. Sure you
don't want me to help?
358
00:18:01,514 --> 00:18:03,359
No, it's time I stood
on my own two feet.
359
00:18:03,383 --> 00:18:04,427
It's now or never.
360
00:18:04,451 --> 00:18:05,694
All right, Min. Good luck, Min.
361
00:18:05,718 --> 00:18:07,329
Thanks.
362
00:18:07,353 --> 00:18:08,964
We're back on.
363
00:18:08,988 --> 00:18:10,266
Good evening, everyone,
364
00:18:10,290 --> 00:18:11,400
and here's the weather report
365
00:18:11,424 --> 00:18:12,868
for Boulder and vicinity.
366
00:18:12,892 --> 00:18:14,403
We have a blizzard.
367
00:18:14,427 --> 00:18:16,939
Heavy snow continuing tonight
and on through the weekend.
368
00:18:16,963 --> 00:18:19,241
The present temperature
is 19 degrees,
369
00:18:19,265 --> 00:18:21,477
with an expected
low tonight of 8.
370
00:18:21,501 --> 00:18:23,000
And that's it.
371
00:18:31,043 --> 00:18:33,411
Boy, it sure is cold out.
372
00:18:36,382 --> 00:18:38,048
How cold is it?
373
00:18:41,053 --> 00:18:44,933
Well, it's so cold... Well,
i-it's the kind of weather
374
00:18:44,957 --> 00:18:47,269
where you kind
of like to curl up
375
00:18:47,293 --> 00:18:49,105
with a nice cup of hot chocolate
376
00:18:49,129 --> 00:18:52,641
and a good book, and
snuggle under a big, warm quilt.
377
00:18:52,665 --> 00:18:54,965
You know, the kind
your grandmother made.
378
00:18:57,103 --> 00:18:59,815
And sure, it-it's hard
to drive in the snow,
379
00:18:59,839 --> 00:19:02,451
but it's a good time to go
walk and visit your neighbors.
380
00:19:02,475 --> 00:19:05,020
You know, maybe
wave and say hello.
381
00:19:05,044 --> 00:19:09,091
Sure, winter is harsh, but
what other time of year...
382
00:19:09,115 --> 00:19:12,928
What other time of year can
you, uh, celebrate Christmas
383
00:19:12,952 --> 00:19:14,918
and look forward to spring?
384
00:19:16,523 --> 00:19:18,501
That's it?
385
00:19:18,525 --> 00:19:20,936
Oh, well, that's it,
ladies and gentlemen.
386
00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:25,307
I'm Mindy McConnell, and we'll
be seeing you again real soon.
387
00:19:25,331 --> 00:19:27,165
Hopefully.
388
00:19:28,535 --> 00:19:30,546
That's it. We're off
the air. Good job.
389
00:19:30,570 --> 00:19:32,281
It was, wasn't it?
390
00:19:32,305 --> 00:19:33,516
Don't let it go to your head.
391
00:19:33,540 --> 00:19:36,152
Oh, Min, you did it!
392
00:19:36,176 --> 00:19:38,754
I did all right, I-I stood
in front of all those people
393
00:19:38,778 --> 00:19:40,889
and I talked, and it felt great.
394
00:19:40,913 --> 00:19:43,292
We did it. We
actually filled the time!
395
00:19:43,316 --> 00:19:44,660
No, no, you did it, Mind.
396
00:19:44,684 --> 00:19:45,894
I was just the tail on the kite.
397
00:19:45,918 --> 00:19:47,329
Oh, no! Shh!
398
00:19:47,353 --> 00:19:49,165
Oh, Min. Whoa, Min, Min!
399
00:19:49,189 --> 00:19:51,167
Oh, Mork, it's Mr. Sternhagen.
400
00:19:51,191 --> 00:19:52,401
Mr. Sternhagen.
401
00:19:52,425 --> 00:19:54,325
How do you do, Mr. Sternhagen?
402
00:19:59,399 --> 00:20:01,343
I'm Mork. Na-no, na-no.
403
00:20:01,367 --> 00:20:02,578
Oh, have it...
404
00:20:02,602 --> 00:20:04,246
Have it your own way.
405
00:20:04,270 --> 00:20:07,115
I got... I got here
as soon as I could.
406
00:20:07,139 --> 00:20:09,084
You'd be surprised
how fast you can go
407
00:20:09,108 --> 00:20:11,820
with one foot on
the floor and...
408
00:20:11,844 --> 00:20:14,623
And your chin on the h-horn.
409
00:20:14,647 --> 00:20:16,158
Sounds fun, Min.
410
00:20:16,182 --> 00:20:19,695
You know, I thought
that my career was over
411
00:20:19,719 --> 00:20:23,666
because we had nothing
to put on that, uh, uh...
412
00:20:23,690 --> 00:20:26,935
Uh, uh, uh...
413
00:20:26,959 --> 00:20:29,037
Tu-tube.
414
00:20:29,061 --> 00:20:30,439
You may not believe this,
415
00:20:30,463 --> 00:20:33,409
but these are the
kinds of crises that...
416
00:20:33,433 --> 00:20:36,712
That really used to
get to me, but no mo...
417
00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:40,882
No... no mo...
418
00:20:40,906 --> 00:20:43,319
Not now.
419
00:20:43,343 --> 00:20:45,354
Did you enjoy Mindy's
weather forecast?
420
00:20:45,378 --> 00:20:50,659
I never know what I enjoy
until the ratings come in.
421
00:20:50,683 --> 00:20:54,663
I learned that a long
time ago when I was high.
422
00:20:54,687 --> 00:20:56,965
In the network.
423
00:20:56,989 --> 00:20:59,401
Well, do I get to keep the job?
424
00:20:59,425 --> 00:21:01,937
Why...? Ugh. Why not?
425
00:21:01,961 --> 00:21:03,661
Why not?
426
00:21:06,132 --> 00:21:08,977
You pulled me through
a dif-difficult time,
427
00:21:09,001 --> 00:21:11,280
and I-I just can't
thank you enough,
428
00:21:11,304 --> 00:21:13,349
Miss McCooo...
429
00:21:13,373 --> 00:21:16,940
Mi... Miss McCooo... Bleh.
430
00:21:19,145 --> 00:21:21,111
Miss McComikaze.
431
00:21:22,715 --> 00:21:25,461
And you too, Mr. Needy,
Noody, Noddy,
432
00:21:25,485 --> 00:21:27,996
Ninny, Nonny, Minnie, hah...
433
00:21:28,020 --> 00:21:29,520
Minnie hah?
434
00:21:38,864 --> 00:21:41,143
Oh, hi.
435
00:21:41,167 --> 00:21:43,601
I got here as soon as I could.
436
00:21:47,674 --> 00:21:50,007
Keep up the good work.
437
00:21:58,451 --> 00:22:01,430
That's the type of leader
this country needs, Min.
438
00:22:01,454 --> 00:22:04,400
Believe me, Mork, he wasn't
like that when I first met him.
439
00:22:04,424 --> 00:22:06,502
But who cares?
He liked what I did.
440
00:22:06,526 --> 00:22:08,236
I get to keep the job!
441
00:22:08,260 --> 00:22:10,673
I guess those four years
of college really paid off.
442
00:22:10,697 --> 00:22:12,574
Oh, yeah.
443
00:22:12,598 --> 00:22:14,976
Oh, but not as much as
my three years of Mork.
444
00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:18,314
Oh, shucks and wazoo.
445
00:22:18,338 --> 00:22:21,883
Boy, you know, I really hate
to drive in this kind of snow.
446
00:22:21,907 --> 00:22:24,420
Yeah, you're right. It
could be kind of dangerous.
447
00:22:24,444 --> 00:22:26,455
Wait a minute, we'll get a
ride from Mr. Sternhagen.
448
00:22:26,479 --> 00:22:28,256
I'll go get him.
449
00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:32,594
Don't take the car,
you'll kill yourself!
450
00:22:38,324 --> 00:22:39,690
Yes!
451
00:22:50,169 --> 00:22:53,816
Mork calling Orson.
Come in, Orson.
452
00:22:53,840 --> 00:22:58,320
Mork calling Orson.
Come in, Orson.
453
00:22:58,344 --> 00:23:01,690
Mork calling Orson.
Come in, your lardness!
454
00:23:01,714 --> 00:23:03,158
Lardness... lardness...
455
00:23:03,182 --> 00:23:05,126
That's not funny, Mork.
456
00:23:05,150 --> 00:23:07,162
I have a thyroid problem.
457
00:23:07,186 --> 00:23:09,365
Oh, yes, sir. That and a
truckload of mashed potatoes
458
00:23:09,389 --> 00:23:10,632
will do it every time.
459
00:23:10,656 --> 00:23:11,933
Will you get on with it, Mork?
460
00:23:11,957 --> 00:23:13,569
Oh, yes, sir.
461
00:23:13,593 --> 00:23:15,937
Sir, this week I learned
about the concept of jobs.
462
00:23:15,961 --> 00:23:17,506
After much searching
and difficulty,
463
00:23:17,530 --> 00:23:18,774
Mindy finally got one.
464
00:23:18,798 --> 00:23:20,108
But I thought she was a student.
465
00:23:20,132 --> 00:23:21,610
Oh, she's a very good one, sir,
466
00:23:21,634 --> 00:23:23,412
but there's an Earth saying:
467
00:23:23,436 --> 00:23:26,081
"Those who stay in college
too long die by degrees."
468
00:23:26,105 --> 00:23:28,584
Why all the
mountaineering gear, Mork?
469
00:23:28,608 --> 00:23:30,552
Oh, Beebs says it was
to make you feel at home,
470
00:23:30,576 --> 00:23:32,654
Your Matterhorniness. Ha-ha-ha!
471
00:23:32,678 --> 00:23:34,490
You don't buy that
one either, do you?
472
00:23:34,514 --> 00:23:36,558
Well, basically, sir,
what it is is a metaphor
473
00:23:36,582 --> 00:23:39,261
to symbolize the climb
that Mindy's just undertaken
474
00:23:39,285 --> 00:23:41,029
to reach the peak of success...
475
00:23:41,053 --> 00:23:43,532
What does that
mean in plain Orkan?
476
00:23:43,556 --> 00:23:46,301
Well, sir, it means that
any Earthling who expects
477
00:23:46,325 --> 00:23:47,770
to get a job when
he gets out of college
478
00:23:47,794 --> 00:23:49,271
is a victim of the
abominable snow job.
479
00:23:49,295 --> 00:23:50,572
You know what I'm talking about?
480
00:23:50,596 --> 00:23:52,608
Basically that
there's no guarantee
481
00:23:52,632 --> 00:23:55,110
that any Earthling who graduates
from college is gonna get a job,
482
00:23:55,134 --> 00:23:57,279
unless he can play basketball,
you know what I'm saying?
483
00:23:57,303 --> 00:23:58,847
That doesn't seem fair, Mork.
484
00:23:58,871 --> 00:24:01,383
Oh, it isn't, sir. It's
like Tarzan said,
485
00:24:01,407 --> 00:24:03,786
"It's a jungle out there, Jane."
486
00:24:03,810 --> 00:24:06,388
You see, the old ones
are forced out of their jobs.
487
00:24:06,412 --> 00:24:07,489
The young ones can't get in,
488
00:24:07,513 --> 00:24:09,024
and the ones in the middle,
489
00:24:09,048 --> 00:24:11,026
they all get ulcers
from working too hard.
490
00:24:11,050 --> 00:24:13,061
But I've learned one thing, sir.
491
00:24:13,085 --> 00:24:17,566
No matter how high the
mountain, or how dull the task,
492
00:24:17,590 --> 00:24:20,658
you have to take that
first step to reach the top.
493
00:24:30,169 --> 00:24:32,436
Yo-de-lay, na-no!
35453
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