All language subtitles for Mork and Mindy S03E05 Mork the Prankster.DVDRip.NonHI.cc.en.PRMNT

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,536 --> 00:00:04,269 Na-no, na-no. 2 00:01:36,830 --> 00:01:38,841 Oh, you two would just love my new place. 3 00:01:38,865 --> 00:01:40,510 Of course, it isn't decorated yet... 4 00:01:40,534 --> 00:01:41,511 Not like yours, Mindy, 5 00:01:41,535 --> 00:01:43,513 with all its special little touches. 6 00:01:43,537 --> 00:01:44,781 You know, it's really a home. 7 00:01:44,805 --> 00:01:46,015 Oh, thanks. 8 00:01:46,039 --> 00:01:47,684 It's always real comfortable around here. 9 00:01:47,708 --> 00:01:48,918 Oh, that's nice. 10 00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:51,288 Mindy, will you help me make my place a home? 11 00:01:51,312 --> 00:01:55,258 Well, sure, but I'm not a professional or anything. 12 00:01:55,282 --> 00:01:56,393 Oh, that's okay. 13 00:01:56,417 --> 00:01:57,794 We'll keep it real sweet and simple. 14 00:01:57,818 --> 00:01:59,696 Besides, I can only spend 10 thousand. 15 00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:00,720 Dollars? 16 00:02:01,655 --> 00:02:03,333 Ten thousand dollars? 17 00:02:03,357 --> 00:02:05,102 The kind that you get at a bank. 18 00:02:05,126 --> 00:02:06,703 And not a penny more. 19 00:02:06,727 --> 00:02:08,305 I promised myself. 20 00:02:08,329 --> 00:02:11,374 Uhh, why don't we start by making a list. 21 00:02:11,398 --> 00:02:12,576 Uhh, Mindy, would you please 22 00:02:12,600 --> 00:02:15,011 get the pen and pencil out of my, uh, purse? 23 00:02:15,035 --> 00:02:16,301 Sure. 24 00:02:20,641 --> 00:02:21,718 Gotcha. 25 00:02:21,742 --> 00:02:23,008 Glenda. 26 00:02:24,578 --> 00:02:26,356 Glenda, you are just so funny. 27 00:02:26,380 --> 00:02:28,492 I am going to start laughing when my heart gets started. 28 00:02:28,516 --> 00:02:31,228 You know, one of the guys in my building gave this to me. 29 00:02:31,252 --> 00:02:32,429 He's a regular riot. 30 00:02:32,453 --> 00:02:34,564 Oh, yeah, he's a regular riot, all right. 31 00:02:34,588 --> 00:02:36,566 Hey, can I borrow that? 32 00:02:36,590 --> 00:02:38,135 I'd kinda like to show it to Mork. 33 00:02:38,159 --> 00:02:39,902 Oh, sure, he'll probably love it. 34 00:02:39,926 --> 00:02:41,471 Then I'm taking the other one for Remo. 35 00:02:41,495 --> 00:02:43,440 I am starving, let's go down to the restaurant 36 00:02:43,464 --> 00:02:45,575 and I'll talk him into making us breakfast. 37 00:02:45,599 --> 00:02:46,943 Oh, listen, you guys go. 38 00:02:46,967 --> 00:02:49,446 Mork's making me a special breakfast this morning. 39 00:02:49,470 --> 00:02:52,538 I just hope that this time it doesn't jump off the plate. 40 00:02:53,674 --> 00:02:55,318 Jeanie... Huh? 41 00:02:55,342 --> 00:02:58,054 After breakfast, how about if we go back to my building? 42 00:02:58,078 --> 00:03:01,046 We can catch the tail end of the limbo lesson. 43 00:03:02,749 --> 00:03:04,327 Oh, wow. Oh, boy. 44 00:03:11,225 --> 00:03:12,969 Gosh, am I hungry. 45 00:03:12,993 --> 00:03:14,471 If you are, Mind, then get ready 46 00:03:14,495 --> 00:03:16,206 for Tarzan of the crêpes! 47 00:03:18,365 --> 00:03:19,731 Whoo-hoo! 48 00:03:23,070 --> 00:03:24,381 Today... 49 00:03:24,405 --> 00:03:26,783 Today we're going to fix something very special. 50 00:03:26,807 --> 00:03:29,719 We're going to make huevos cosmos. Here we go. 51 00:03:29,743 --> 00:03:33,557 First, let's start by putting a few pinto beans as a base... 52 00:03:33,581 --> 00:03:37,260 "Pinto" from the Spanish word meaning "small car." 53 00:03:37,284 --> 00:03:39,851 Now what we should do is add a little sherry. 54 00:03:43,056 --> 00:03:45,535 Ooh, what a lovely shade of blur. 55 00:03:45,559 --> 00:03:47,737 Now we have our main ingredient. 56 00:03:47,761 --> 00:03:49,406 We must do this first of all. 57 00:03:49,430 --> 00:03:51,308 Bring out your chicken. 58 00:03:51,332 --> 00:03:54,844 Oh, look, this chicken is so young, it's never known love. 59 00:03:54,868 --> 00:03:58,215 Oh, oh, breathe, breathe, breathe. 60 00:03:58,239 --> 00:04:00,116 Oh, it's a boy! 61 00:04:00,140 --> 00:04:01,117 Here we go. 62 00:04:01,141 --> 00:04:02,519 Now we must dress our chicken. 63 00:04:02,543 --> 00:04:05,188 First, you put your chicken in a lovely 2-piece outfit, 64 00:04:05,212 --> 00:04:07,056 adopt it now just like Esther Williams. 65 00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:08,113 Ooh! 66 00:04:09,483 --> 00:04:10,594 And this one too, whoop! 67 00:04:10,618 --> 00:04:12,061 And once again, a little more sherry. 68 00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:13,363 Sherry and sherry alike. 69 00:04:13,387 --> 00:04:14,431 Mmm-hmm. 70 00:04:14,455 --> 00:04:15,865 And a little for the cook. 71 00:04:15,889 --> 00:04:18,369 You never know when you'll be followed home by a wino. 72 00:04:19,159 --> 00:04:21,705 Now for some more garnish. 73 00:04:21,729 --> 00:04:23,769 For everyone here, first we add a little flour. 74 00:04:26,267 --> 00:04:28,567 Once again, a little more sherry. 75 00:04:29,303 --> 00:04:30,747 And some grated cheese. 76 00:04:30,771 --> 00:04:33,331 Oh, you grate on me, grate, grate, grate. 77 00:04:33,507 --> 00:04:34,517 Little cheese in there. 78 00:04:34,541 --> 00:04:36,553 And once again, who knows. 79 00:04:36,577 --> 00:04:38,888 Once again, a little more sherry. 80 00:04:38,912 --> 00:04:39,912 A little more... 81 00:04:41,915 --> 00:04:44,327 Oh, what a lovely day. 82 00:04:44,351 --> 00:04:46,851 Hold on, one second here... 83 00:04:48,289 --> 00:04:50,333 Over here, once again, a little more sherry. 84 00:04:50,357 --> 00:04:52,101 Little more sherry, sherry, sherry... 85 00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:53,336 Sherry! 86 00:04:54,361 --> 00:04:56,038 A little salt... 87 00:04:56,062 --> 00:04:57,507 a little pepper. 88 00:04:57,531 --> 00:05:00,143 Remember, you can put anything in there, give it enough time. 89 00:05:00,167 --> 00:05:03,713 Use your trash compactor if necessary. 90 00:05:03,737 --> 00:05:06,483 Finishing up once again, you stir it up, 91 00:05:06,507 --> 00:05:08,788 and one little more touch of sherry. 92 00:05:10,744 --> 00:05:14,145 Wow, bon appétit, my dear, bon appétit. 93 00:05:22,856 --> 00:05:24,801 Yes, Mind, come on, give it a try. 94 00:05:24,825 --> 00:05:26,770 Throw caution to the wind, Mind. 95 00:05:26,794 --> 00:05:28,905 I think that I'm on a diet, 96 00:05:28,929 --> 00:05:31,007 but, umm, I got you a little surprise, 97 00:05:31,031 --> 00:05:32,041 it's in my purse. 98 00:05:32,065 --> 00:05:33,443 For me? Yes. 99 00:05:33,467 --> 00:05:36,813 Oh, Mind, I love surprises more than I love freeze-dried pants. 100 00:05:36,837 --> 00:05:38,315 Really? Can I? Can I? 101 00:05:38,339 --> 00:05:39,316 For me? 102 00:05:39,340 --> 00:05:41,100 Yes. 103 00:05:43,276 --> 00:05:44,476 Go ahead. 104 00:05:51,385 --> 00:05:52,985 There's nothing in there, Mind. 105 00:05:54,054 --> 00:05:55,998 Mork, it's a snake. 106 00:05:56,022 --> 00:05:58,702 It's supposed to jump out and scare you. 107 00:05:58,726 --> 00:06:00,269 Ohh... 108 00:06:00,293 --> 00:06:02,138 Oh, I get it. 109 00:06:08,669 --> 00:06:12,315 No, Mork, it's a practical joke. 110 00:06:12,339 --> 00:06:14,751 It's a prank, people play them on one another. 111 00:06:14,775 --> 00:06:16,886 It's supposed to be funny. 112 00:06:16,910 --> 00:06:19,121 I understand that, Mind. I'm a superior being. 113 00:06:19,145 --> 00:06:21,691 It's a very simple concept; snake, spring, fear. 114 00:06:21,715 --> 00:06:23,475 Let's add that to the dish. 115 00:06:24,618 --> 00:06:26,996 Never mind. It was a dumb joke anyway. 116 00:06:27,020 --> 00:06:28,898 I wasn't going to say that, Mind. 117 00:06:28,922 --> 00:06:31,300 Well, listen, while you're doing whatever it is you're doing, 118 00:06:31,324 --> 00:06:32,702 I'm gonna run to the store real quick 119 00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:34,070 and get some decorator magazines. 120 00:06:34,094 --> 00:06:35,071 Have you seen my car keys? 121 00:06:35,095 --> 00:06:36,095 Sure, many times. 122 00:06:37,398 --> 00:06:38,875 Do you know where they might be? 123 00:06:38,899 --> 00:06:40,109 Well, I'll take a wild guess. 124 00:06:40,133 --> 00:06:41,711 Number one: in the purse. 125 00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:44,213 But don't worry, Mind, don't worry. 126 00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:46,549 Allow moi. Pardon moi. 127 00:06:46,573 --> 00:06:47,939 Oh, no, a purse. 128 00:06:51,678 --> 00:06:52,998 Oh, oh! 129 00:06:53,714 --> 00:06:56,693 Oh! Oh, my heart, Mind. 130 00:06:56,717 --> 00:06:58,528 Ow, ow, ow. 131 00:06:58,552 --> 00:07:00,218 You take the house. 132 00:07:04,425 --> 00:07:05,835 Well, this is my place. 133 00:07:05,859 --> 00:07:07,470 Wow, neat! 134 00:07:07,494 --> 00:07:09,005 Where's the refrigerator? 135 00:07:09,029 --> 00:07:10,039 Not now. 136 00:07:10,063 --> 00:07:11,496 I see it. 137 00:07:12,900 --> 00:07:14,900 If the rest of you children don't want to eat... 138 00:07:15,903 --> 00:07:17,246 let's all sit down here for a moment 139 00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:19,604 and share a problem with Uncle Mork here. 140 00:07:20,641 --> 00:07:22,685 Well, the basic problem is 141 00:07:22,709 --> 00:07:24,821 that I have a heavy case of confusion. 142 00:07:24,845 --> 00:07:28,112 Let us be your beacon through the fog. 143 00:07:29,316 --> 00:07:30,627 Thanks, Lola. 144 00:07:30,651 --> 00:07:32,662 Hey, what's wrong with this refrigerator? 145 00:07:32,686 --> 00:07:34,798 I can't see anything in here. 146 00:07:34,822 --> 00:07:37,142 I took the bulb out, Stephanie. I knew you were coming. 147 00:07:40,226 --> 00:07:42,672 Go suck a lemon. 148 00:07:42,696 --> 00:07:44,206 You know, Stephanie, there's free food 149 00:07:44,230 --> 00:07:46,550 down at Jack in the Box is you stand next to the clown. 150 00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:56,786 Well, basically, my problem is that, well, I want to play 151 00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:58,955 a practical joke on Mindy, and I don't really know any. 152 00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:00,423 I know one! 153 00:08:00,447 --> 00:08:03,927 I went to Jake's Joke Shop and bought a bar of trick soap. 154 00:08:03,951 --> 00:08:07,296 When my brother washed with it, his hands grew black. 155 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:09,200 Oh, that sure beats bussing, doesn't it? 156 00:08:13,627 --> 00:08:15,204 It's just, I'm in a desperate situation. 157 00:08:15,228 --> 00:08:16,539 Is there anything else you know? 158 00:08:16,563 --> 00:08:19,809 Mork, there's tons of 'em... Itching powder... 159 00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:20,810 Ooh. 160 00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:22,411 Sneezing powder... pepper gum... 161 00:08:22,435 --> 00:08:23,880 Ooh, ahh. 162 00:08:23,904 --> 00:08:25,014 Fly in your ice cube. 163 00:08:25,038 --> 00:08:26,048 Wait a minute. 164 00:08:26,072 --> 00:08:28,785 Oh... 165 00:08:28,809 --> 00:08:30,052 Oh, great expectations, 166 00:08:30,076 --> 00:08:31,921 I'm gonna scare the dickens out of Mindy. 167 00:08:31,945 --> 00:08:35,024 "Great expectations"? Dickens? 168 00:08:35,048 --> 00:08:36,459 You know, big fella, 169 00:08:36,483 --> 00:08:38,963 you're a lot deeper than you look. 170 00:08:40,220 --> 00:08:41,553 Bless you, Lola. 171 00:08:42,890 --> 00:08:45,210 Have you cleaned the refrigerator out yet, Stephanie? 172 00:08:56,169 --> 00:08:58,737 Shh, don't spoil it, Dr. Atkins. Now, come on. 173 00:08:59,540 --> 00:09:00,972 Boy, did that diet work. 174 00:09:02,776 --> 00:09:04,888 Hi. 175 00:09:04,912 --> 00:09:06,088 How was your day? 176 00:09:06,112 --> 00:09:08,391 Oh... 177 00:09:08,415 --> 00:09:09,614 Not baa-a-d. 178 00:09:11,384 --> 00:09:12,729 Why are you looking at me like that? 179 00:09:12,753 --> 00:09:14,096 I don't know, Mind, I guess I'm just 180 00:09:14,120 --> 00:09:15,720 kind of a mildly mischievous kind of guy. 181 00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:18,902 Why don't you put your coat in the armoire? 182 00:09:18,926 --> 00:09:20,970 You never know what might be in there... 183 00:09:20,994 --> 00:09:24,340 maybe a skeleton or a hokey pokey man. 184 00:09:24,364 --> 00:09:25,441 What? 185 00:09:25,465 --> 00:09:27,985 Oh, maybe you have a bone to pick. 186 00:09:29,570 --> 00:09:30,647 I'm going in the closet. 187 00:09:30,671 --> 00:09:32,882 Oh, no, no, no. No, no. 188 00:09:32,906 --> 00:09:34,083 No, no. 189 00:09:35,275 --> 00:09:36,908 Now, that's funny. 190 00:09:38,745 --> 00:09:39,722 Well, seeing that, Mind, 191 00:09:39,746 --> 00:09:41,090 don't you really want to fatten up? 192 00:09:41,114 --> 00:09:42,847 Let's go to the fridge. Come on. 193 00:09:43,650 --> 00:09:45,061 Shh. Wait. Ha ha. 194 00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:46,996 Wait, wait, Mind, Mind, Mind. 195 00:09:47,020 --> 00:09:48,197 I hope this doesn't alarm you, 196 00:09:48,221 --> 00:09:51,167 but there might be some bell peppers in there. 197 00:09:51,191 --> 00:09:52,958 Titter, titter, chortle, chortle. 198 00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:55,294 Bell peppers? 199 00:09:57,230 --> 00:10:00,376 Oh, Mork, I'll tell you, you're a clever guy. 200 00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:02,845 Listen, Mork, we need to have a little talk. 201 00:10:02,869 --> 00:10:05,181 Look, for a practical joke to work, 202 00:10:05,205 --> 00:10:07,183 you're not supposed to know what's going to happen. 203 00:10:07,207 --> 00:10:08,985 The surprise is what makes it funny. 204 00:10:09,009 --> 00:10:10,174 You're kidding. 205 00:10:13,680 --> 00:10:16,559 What other symphony conductor dresses like this? 206 00:10:16,583 --> 00:10:18,928 Since you're going fishing, come on in. 207 00:10:18,952 --> 00:10:21,598 Maybe you need some worms for your fishing trip. 208 00:10:21,622 --> 00:10:22,699 Worms? 209 00:10:22,723 --> 00:10:23,833 Yeah, they might be in there. 210 00:10:23,857 --> 00:10:24,867 I had a few, I don't know. 211 00:10:24,891 --> 00:10:26,069 Worms in there? 212 00:10:26,093 --> 00:10:28,413 Yeah, give it a shot. Here, hold onto this. 213 00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:35,678 Industrial-strength worms. 214 00:10:35,702 --> 00:10:38,182 This way, you can catch the big suckers. 215 00:10:38,639 --> 00:10:40,349 Mork, that was a pretty good prank. 216 00:10:41,374 --> 00:10:42,986 It was a prank, wasn't it? 217 00:10:43,010 --> 00:10:44,020 I hope. 218 00:10:44,044 --> 00:10:45,822 Pretty good, my boy, pretty good. 219 00:10:45,846 --> 00:10:49,191 But it pales by comparison with some of the exploits 220 00:10:49,215 --> 00:10:51,995 of pranky Franky here. 221 00:10:52,019 --> 00:10:53,262 Pranky Franky? 222 00:10:53,286 --> 00:10:56,065 I'm being dressed by pranky Franky? 223 00:10:56,089 --> 00:10:59,201 You've heard of the old car-in-the-living-room stunt. 224 00:10:59,225 --> 00:11:00,202 Oh, yeah. 225 00:11:00,226 --> 00:11:01,226 Oh, that's... Oh, yeah. 226 00:11:02,963 --> 00:11:03,940 Oh, who hasn't heard of it? 227 00:11:03,964 --> 00:11:04,964 I haven't. 228 00:11:06,066 --> 00:11:08,210 Mork, it's when you take a car apart 229 00:11:08,234 --> 00:11:11,147 and put it back together in somebody's living room. 230 00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:12,849 When I was in college, we did that 231 00:11:12,873 --> 00:11:15,785 to Professor Franklin's '51 Studebaker. 232 00:11:15,809 --> 00:11:16,853 Oh, heavy. 233 00:11:16,877 --> 00:11:18,409 Yes, but well worth the hernia. 234 00:11:19,746 --> 00:11:22,058 That prank made me what I am today... 235 00:11:22,082 --> 00:11:23,292 a legend. 236 00:11:23,316 --> 00:11:26,295 A legend... a tornado in the windmills of my mind. 237 00:11:26,319 --> 00:11:27,879 Hang on, Toto. Hang on. 238 00:11:28,989 --> 00:11:31,567 Well, maybe I don't look so bad in this outfit, 239 00:11:31,591 --> 00:11:32,702 I don't know. 240 00:11:32,726 --> 00:11:34,236 Nobody's going to see but the fish, 241 00:11:34,260 --> 00:11:35,471 and who are they going to tell 242 00:11:35,495 --> 00:11:37,373 except a few waterlogged gangsters? 243 00:11:37,397 --> 00:11:39,142 That's the spirit, Fred. 244 00:11:39,166 --> 00:11:41,711 Those fish don't have a chance. 245 00:11:41,735 --> 00:11:43,112 He really does look pretty funny 246 00:11:43,136 --> 00:11:44,513 in that outfit, doesn't he? 247 00:11:47,908 --> 00:11:50,687 Ah, a chance to become a living legend. 248 00:11:50,711 --> 00:11:52,321 I'll be up there on Mount Rushmore. 249 00:11:52,345 --> 00:11:55,224 I'll be with Washington, Lincoln, Jefferson, 250 00:11:55,248 --> 00:11:57,849 Roosevelt, and all those other wide receivers. 251 00:12:03,556 --> 00:12:05,596 This is going to make Mindy love us forever, Beeb. 252 00:12:06,993 --> 00:12:09,839 Oh, boy, I can't wait til she sees this. 253 00:12:09,863 --> 00:12:11,174 Mind... 254 00:12:11,198 --> 00:12:13,810 Mind, wake up. It's morning. 255 00:12:13,834 --> 00:12:15,812 Can't you hear the little birdies singing outside? 256 00:12:15,836 --> 00:12:19,570 Mork, it is 5:00 in the morning. 257 00:12:28,581 --> 00:12:31,493 How... Mork, how did you... 258 00:12:31,517 --> 00:12:33,529 Why would you... 259 00:12:33,553 --> 00:12:35,331 When did you get this thing up here? 260 00:12:35,355 --> 00:12:37,566 Mind, take your time now, I know these type of compliments 261 00:12:37,590 --> 00:12:39,235 don't just fall trippingly off the tongue. 262 00:12:39,259 --> 00:12:42,271 Mork, get this jeep out of here now. 263 00:12:42,295 --> 00:12:43,572 Oh, yes, and? 264 00:12:43,596 --> 00:12:46,097 And get this jeep out of here now! 265 00:13:01,347 --> 00:13:03,581 Morning, Mr. Bickley. 266 00:13:11,057 --> 00:13:13,002 You're sure you're all right, Mr. Bickley? 267 00:13:13,026 --> 00:13:14,904 Just a second before, 268 00:13:14,928 --> 00:13:17,128 I was sitting in that chair. 269 00:13:19,332 --> 00:13:22,478 I got up to fill my thermos with coffee. 270 00:13:22,502 --> 00:13:25,569 I owe my life to Joe DiMaggio. 271 00:13:27,207 --> 00:13:29,051 Well, don't worry about that hole, Mr. Bickley, 272 00:13:29,075 --> 00:13:34,090 I'll spackle it over. 273 00:13:34,114 --> 00:13:37,160 Don't worry, I think my insurance should cover this. 274 00:13:37,184 --> 00:13:39,228 I'll just have to check on a technicality. 275 00:13:39,252 --> 00:13:41,920 If my apartment is covered for collision. 276 00:13:43,423 --> 00:13:46,068 Well, apart from the obvious physical and emotional trauma, 277 00:13:46,092 --> 00:13:48,927 is there any latent appreciation for what I've achieved here? 278 00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:53,209 I see. 279 00:13:53,233 --> 00:13:57,213 Well, excuse me. I'm going fishing. 280 00:13:57,237 --> 00:13:59,282 I've got to get out of here. 281 00:13:59,306 --> 00:14:01,973 I don't know what I'm going to tell my maid. 282 00:14:04,077 --> 00:14:06,444 She won't even do windows. 283 00:14:14,921 --> 00:14:16,332 Mind, look at the bright side. 284 00:14:16,356 --> 00:14:18,876 It's always good to have friends you can drop in on. 285 00:14:19,625 --> 00:14:20,669 Mork, listen to me. 286 00:14:20,693 --> 00:14:21,704 Don't hit me, don't hit me. 287 00:14:21,728 --> 00:14:24,040 What you did was not funny. 288 00:14:24,064 --> 00:14:26,909 We can't even go into our apartment because of that, 289 00:14:26,933 --> 00:14:28,477 and I don't even want to think 290 00:14:28,501 --> 00:14:30,079 what might have happened to Mr. Bickley, 291 00:14:30,103 --> 00:14:32,381 much less how much this is going to cost to fix. 292 00:14:32,405 --> 00:14:34,383 It was a stupid and dangerous prank, 293 00:14:34,407 --> 00:14:35,751 you should have been more careful. 294 00:14:35,775 --> 00:14:38,335 I was careful, Mind. I set the hand brake. 295 00:14:38,945 --> 00:14:39,956 You set the hand brake. 296 00:14:39,980 --> 00:14:41,257 Yeah... 297 00:14:41,281 --> 00:14:42,825 You set the hand brake? 298 00:14:42,849 --> 00:14:44,293 My jeep falls through my floor, 299 00:14:44,317 --> 00:14:46,562 and you say you set the hand brake? 300 00:14:46,586 --> 00:14:47,930 I can't take any more of this, Mork. 301 00:14:47,954 --> 00:14:48,931 I'm getting out of here. 302 00:14:48,955 --> 00:14:50,199 Great, Mind. Where are we going? 303 00:14:50,223 --> 00:14:51,300 We're not going anywhere. 304 00:14:51,324 --> 00:14:52,568 You're staying here, 305 00:14:52,592 --> 00:14:54,470 cleaning up this mess, and getting that jeep out. 306 00:14:54,494 --> 00:14:56,138 I'm going to Glenda Faye's. 307 00:14:56,162 --> 00:14:58,396 Mind, Mind... Oh, Mindy. 308 00:15:08,408 --> 00:15:10,786 Well, this is the last box. 309 00:15:10,810 --> 00:15:14,323 Oh, Glenda, I just keep thinking about it. 310 00:15:14,347 --> 00:15:17,293 I mean, a jeep falling through my floor. 311 00:15:17,317 --> 00:15:18,928 How many years can a normal person 312 00:15:18,952 --> 00:15:21,163 put up with that kind of stuff? 313 00:15:21,187 --> 00:15:22,520 Four? 314 00:15:25,959 --> 00:15:27,403 I mean, when I first met Mork, 315 00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:29,038 I knew he was different, but... 316 00:15:29,062 --> 00:15:30,539 You know, I noticed that too, 317 00:15:30,563 --> 00:15:32,308 but I never said anything. 318 00:15:32,332 --> 00:15:35,633 You see, I was brought up to laugh behind people's backs. 319 00:15:38,305 --> 00:15:40,783 All I know is, if this kind of stuff keeps up, 320 00:15:40,807 --> 00:15:43,419 Mork's going to have to find another Earth... 321 00:15:43,443 --> 00:15:44,987 Uhh, roommate. 322 00:15:45,011 --> 00:15:48,925 Oh, my, this is serious, isn't it? 323 00:15:48,949 --> 00:15:50,927 Well, listen, Mindy, you're welcome to stay here 324 00:15:50,951 --> 00:15:52,395 until you work things out. 325 00:15:52,419 --> 00:15:56,198 Besides, we'll have a ball. This is a singles apartment. 326 00:15:56,222 --> 00:15:58,022 Thanks. 327 00:16:01,361 --> 00:16:02,560 Hi, Derrick. 328 00:16:03,296 --> 00:16:04,762 Far out. 329 00:16:07,367 --> 00:16:08,699 Farther out. 330 00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:12,381 Hey, guys, glad you came by. 331 00:16:12,405 --> 00:16:14,083 I'd like you to meet a friend of mine. 332 00:16:14,107 --> 00:16:15,484 Mindy, these are my neighbors. 333 00:16:15,508 --> 00:16:16,518 Derrick... 334 00:16:16,542 --> 00:16:17,542 Hi, Derrick. 335 00:16:19,745 --> 00:16:21,324 And this is... 336 00:16:21,348 --> 00:16:24,582 Todd Norman Taylor, but you can call me T.N.T. 337 00:16:26,386 --> 00:16:28,453 Kind of a dynamite guy, you know? 338 00:16:29,289 --> 00:16:30,266 Hi. 339 00:16:30,290 --> 00:16:31,422 Great personality. 340 00:16:32,758 --> 00:16:35,293 Say, look, I'm kind of new in town. 341 00:16:38,264 --> 00:16:40,545 How do I get to your place? 342 00:16:43,936 --> 00:16:45,781 Glenda, is there something I could help you with 343 00:16:45,805 --> 00:16:46,915 in the kitchen? 344 00:16:46,939 --> 00:16:48,584 Oh, no, no, no. Now, you just sit. 345 00:16:48,608 --> 00:16:50,853 I'll get us all something to drink. 346 00:16:50,877 --> 00:16:52,621 Just yell if you need anything else. 347 00:16:52,645 --> 00:16:53,755 Okay. 348 00:16:53,779 --> 00:16:55,619 I think I have everything I need right here. 349 00:16:59,585 --> 00:17:00,865 Cheese puffs? 350 00:17:02,755 --> 00:17:04,033 No, I just ate. 351 00:17:04,057 --> 00:17:05,534 Oh. 352 00:17:07,693 --> 00:17:10,213 I have heavier chains for when it snows. 353 00:17:13,733 --> 00:17:15,344 I bought them out of my slush fund. 354 00:17:19,172 --> 00:17:22,618 But serious time now... 355 00:17:22,642 --> 00:17:25,876 Have you ever really listened to Manilow? 356 00:17:27,213 --> 00:17:28,213 No. 357 00:17:32,752 --> 00:17:36,165 Happy hour... strawberry margaritas. 358 00:17:36,189 --> 00:17:38,589 Whoa, cowabunga! 359 00:17:40,760 --> 00:17:42,971 Say, why don't we share a margarita? 360 00:17:42,995 --> 00:17:44,407 You go right, I'll go left. 361 00:17:44,431 --> 00:17:46,964 We'll have a salt lick race around the rim. 362 00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:49,178 I don't believe this. 363 00:17:49,202 --> 00:17:51,001 She loves me. 364 00:17:52,004 --> 00:17:54,816 Is this fun or what? 365 00:17:54,840 --> 00:17:57,875 You're a crazy lady, you know that? 366 00:17:59,712 --> 00:18:01,190 Isn't she a crazy lady? 367 00:18:01,214 --> 00:18:03,448 Yeah, she's crazy. 368 00:18:04,717 --> 00:18:06,695 So, look, uh, maybe you'd like to take 369 00:18:06,719 --> 00:18:09,120 a nice warm dip in my jacuzz? 370 00:18:10,123 --> 00:18:11,333 Fabulous. 371 00:18:11,357 --> 00:18:13,035 Sure, we can fill it up with club soda 372 00:18:13,059 --> 00:18:15,159 and bob for lemon slices. 373 00:18:16,529 --> 00:18:18,006 Let me go change. 374 00:18:18,030 --> 00:18:20,510 Meet you downstairs in 20 minutes. 375 00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:22,878 Better make that 25. 376 00:18:22,902 --> 00:18:25,035 I have to Scotchgard my chains. 377 00:18:26,506 --> 00:18:28,084 Brenda... 378 00:18:28,108 --> 00:18:29,585 Cindy. 379 00:18:29,609 --> 00:18:31,729 See you later, lady-gators. 380 00:18:39,819 --> 00:18:42,631 Wasn't that fun? Weren't they terrific? 381 00:18:42,655 --> 00:18:45,568 Are you serious? 382 00:18:45,592 --> 00:18:48,837 Glenda, they didn't even know our names. 383 00:18:48,861 --> 00:18:50,261 But they were close. 384 00:18:51,631 --> 00:18:53,609 Well, besides, what's in a name 385 00:18:53,633 --> 00:18:55,177 as long as you're happy? 386 00:18:55,201 --> 00:18:57,646 Oh, come on, you don't really believe that. 387 00:18:57,670 --> 00:18:59,915 Sure. 388 00:18:59,939 --> 00:19:01,984 Oh, look, you're going to love it here. 389 00:19:02,008 --> 00:19:04,153 We'll be so busy, we won't even have time 390 00:19:04,177 --> 00:19:06,344 to think about what's bothering us. 391 00:19:08,281 --> 00:19:11,327 I mean you... What's bothering you. 392 00:19:11,351 --> 00:19:14,830 Glenda, come on. What's really going on? 393 00:19:14,854 --> 00:19:18,567 Oh, I really don't want to talk about it. 394 00:19:18,591 --> 00:19:19,735 Are you sure? 395 00:19:19,759 --> 00:19:23,139 Oh, Mindy, I'm not sure about anything 396 00:19:23,163 --> 00:19:25,508 since my husband died. 397 00:19:25,532 --> 00:19:27,610 Well, that's why I moved in here. 398 00:19:27,634 --> 00:19:29,445 I just want to laugh, say hi. 399 00:19:29,469 --> 00:19:32,136 No involvements and nothing personal. 400 00:19:33,072 --> 00:19:34,850 Well, I can understand that. 401 00:19:34,874 --> 00:19:37,253 Thanks, Mindy. 402 00:19:37,277 --> 00:19:39,121 It's just that every once in a while, 403 00:19:39,145 --> 00:19:42,658 I miss having somebody who really cares about me. 404 00:19:42,682 --> 00:19:44,860 You are so lucky to have Mork. 405 00:19:44,884 --> 00:19:46,417 I am? 406 00:19:47,287 --> 00:19:49,131 Give him another chance. 407 00:19:49,155 --> 00:19:51,033 A hole in your floor is a lot better 408 00:19:51,057 --> 00:19:52,937 than a hole in your ceiling. 409 00:19:55,127 --> 00:19:59,107 I mean, a hole in your ceiling's a lot better than... 410 00:19:59,131 --> 00:20:00,376 Well, either way, 411 00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:02,633 it's a lot better than a hole in your life. 412 00:20:03,736 --> 00:20:05,447 Yeah. 413 00:20:05,471 --> 00:20:07,449 You know, I never realized how good I had it 414 00:20:07,473 --> 00:20:10,107 til I saw what was really out there. 415 00:20:12,144 --> 00:20:14,344 I guess things aren't so bad at home. 416 00:20:18,017 --> 00:20:20,462 You know, Bebo, a lot of people 417 00:20:20,486 --> 00:20:22,565 would consider this a depressing situation. 418 00:20:24,591 --> 00:20:26,111 You don't have to be one of them. 419 00:20:28,561 --> 00:20:29,738 I wish that hole in the ceiling 420 00:20:29,762 --> 00:20:31,362 was the only thing I had to patch up. 421 00:20:32,365 --> 00:20:33,742 I really miss Mind. 422 00:20:33,766 --> 00:20:35,177 Mork. 423 00:20:35,201 --> 00:20:37,568 Sometimes I can almost hear her voice now. 424 00:20:38,705 --> 00:20:41,016 Mork, can I talk to you for a minute? 425 00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:42,784 Mind! Mind, you're here. 426 00:20:43,809 --> 00:20:46,644 No, Bebo, wait! No, no, Bebo! 427 00:20:49,749 --> 00:20:53,128 I'm sorry, Mind, I'm sorry to add polyester to injury. 428 00:20:53,152 --> 00:20:54,496 Mork, I think there are a few things 429 00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:55,831 we should straighten out. 430 00:20:55,855 --> 00:20:57,633 Before you say another word, 431 00:20:57,657 --> 00:20:59,668 I've already started my self-improvement plan. 432 00:20:59,692 --> 00:21:01,191 I've made a list of my bad points. 433 00:21:04,497 --> 00:21:05,541 There would have been more, 434 00:21:05,565 --> 00:21:08,444 except the tears made the ink run. 435 00:21:08,468 --> 00:21:10,679 First of all, I belch with my finger. 436 00:21:10,703 --> 00:21:12,581 Second, I snore with my toes. 437 00:21:12,605 --> 00:21:15,351 I chew my toenails. I sit on my face. 438 00:21:15,375 --> 00:21:16,552 Oh, Mork, 439 00:21:16,576 --> 00:21:18,153 nobody's perfect. 440 00:21:18,177 --> 00:21:20,522 Oh, yes, Mind, you are. 441 00:21:20,546 --> 00:21:21,957 I mean, you're wholesome. 442 00:21:21,981 --> 00:21:24,282 In the dictionary, it says, "perfect: see 'Mindy.'" 443 00:21:26,218 --> 00:21:27,863 No, I'm not. 444 00:21:27,887 --> 00:21:30,366 For one thing, I don't have any patience. 445 00:21:30,390 --> 00:21:33,034 I should have known you didn't mean any harm. 446 00:21:33,058 --> 00:21:35,070 I mean, you were only trying to make me laugh. 447 00:21:35,094 --> 00:21:37,172 Yeah, I thought it was just a joke, 448 00:21:37,196 --> 00:21:39,575 but, Mind, sometimes I'm a really trying guy. 449 00:21:39,599 --> 00:21:41,710 Well, that's very true, 450 00:21:41,734 --> 00:21:43,779 but you also have an awful lot of good points. 451 00:21:43,803 --> 00:21:45,763 I know that too. I made a list of those. 452 00:21:47,573 --> 00:21:48,573 Here it is. 453 00:21:51,277 --> 00:21:55,023 Oh..."Mindy McConnell is my friend." 454 00:21:55,047 --> 00:21:56,659 That's all that's on here. 455 00:21:56,683 --> 00:21:58,327 Well, that's all I could think of 456 00:21:58,351 --> 00:21:59,728 when I was sitting here alone. 457 00:21:59,752 --> 00:22:01,485 Oh... 458 00:22:02,988 --> 00:22:04,733 Oh, Mork. 459 00:22:04,757 --> 00:22:08,437 You know, you're crazy, weird, aggravating... 460 00:22:08,461 --> 00:22:10,941 I can't help it. I'm a Libra. 461 00:22:11,397 --> 00:22:14,943 Impulsive, exasperating, and frustrating. 462 00:22:14,967 --> 00:22:17,713 But, you know, you're also very caring, 463 00:22:17,737 --> 00:22:19,782 and that's what makes it all worth it. 464 00:22:19,806 --> 00:22:22,785 Oh, you still like me? 465 00:22:22,809 --> 00:22:25,943 Well, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh-huh-huh. 466 00:22:27,447 --> 00:22:28,724 Oh. Well, back on Ork, 467 00:22:28,748 --> 00:22:30,759 we have a very special custom of making up. 468 00:22:30,783 --> 00:22:31,927 What's that? 469 00:22:31,951 --> 00:22:34,652 First of all, we grab each other's hands. 470 00:22:36,288 --> 00:22:38,528 We look very deeply into each other's eyes. 471 00:22:40,526 --> 00:22:41,637 Yeah? 472 00:22:41,661 --> 00:22:43,961 That's it. That's it? 473 00:22:45,631 --> 00:22:47,275 Really? 474 00:22:47,299 --> 00:22:48,777 Well, on Earth, we usually do all that, 475 00:22:48,801 --> 00:22:49,801 and then we kiss. 476 00:22:53,539 --> 00:22:55,250 You sure you want to? 477 00:22:55,274 --> 00:22:57,140 Well, I don't know... Okay. 478 00:23:23,269 --> 00:23:26,882 Mork calling Orson. Come in, Orson. 479 00:23:26,906 --> 00:23:29,017 Mork calling Orson. 480 00:23:29,041 --> 00:23:30,474 Come in, Orson. 481 00:23:32,344 --> 00:23:33,689 Mork calling Orson. 482 00:23:33,713 --> 00:23:35,457 Come in, your Oliver Hardy-ness. 483 00:23:35,481 --> 00:23:37,393 I hope I didn't call you too early. 484 00:23:37,417 --> 00:23:40,496 By the way, Mork, I wanted to thank you 485 00:23:40,520 --> 00:23:42,330 for the box of cigars you sent me. 486 00:23:42,354 --> 00:23:43,999 Oh, no sweat, chief smoke. 487 00:23:44,023 --> 00:23:45,863 I mean, I hope you got a bang out of them. 488 00:23:47,359 --> 00:23:50,506 You see, sir, that's what's called a practical joke. 489 00:23:50,530 --> 00:23:53,241 Nonsense. No jokes are practical. 490 00:23:53,265 --> 00:23:55,310 Oh, sir, come on, now. They serve a purpose. 491 00:23:55,334 --> 00:23:57,679 I mean, Jokes can fill your life with surprises. 492 00:23:57,703 --> 00:24:00,282 Life isn't supposed to be surprising. 493 00:24:00,306 --> 00:24:02,951 It's supposed to be ordered and predictable, Mork. 494 00:24:02,975 --> 00:24:04,887 Where's the fun in that, your old fogy-ness? 495 00:24:04,911 --> 00:24:06,254 If life were predictable, 496 00:24:06,278 --> 00:24:08,390 no one would bother watching the Miss America Pageant, 497 00:24:08,414 --> 00:24:10,426 everyone would know who's hosting The Tonight Show, 498 00:24:10,450 --> 00:24:12,661 and no one would believe an actor could become president. 499 00:24:12,685 --> 00:24:14,996 Imagine giving a state of the union address. 500 00:24:15,020 --> 00:24:17,433 "My fellow... line." 501 00:24:17,457 --> 00:24:18,967 That's unpredictable? 502 00:24:18,991 --> 00:24:20,335 No, sir, that's incredible. 503 00:24:20,359 --> 00:24:23,204 So is that feeling when you tell a friend a joke. 504 00:24:23,228 --> 00:24:25,206 But the most important thing is to have a friend 505 00:24:25,230 --> 00:24:27,075 that you want to tell a joke to. 506 00:24:27,099 --> 00:24:28,977 If not, the joke's on you. 507 00:24:29,001 --> 00:24:31,735 Until next week, sir, Na-no, na-no. 35947

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