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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,907 --> 00:00:08,240 Nanu-nanu. 2 00:00:19,670 --> 00:00:20,950 Shazbot! 3 00:01:24,785 --> 00:01:25,929 Mindy? What? 4 00:01:25,953 --> 00:01:27,419 Guess what followed me home? 5 00:01:27,454 --> 00:01:29,287 What followed you home? 6 00:01:29,322 --> 00:01:30,288 Can I keep it, huh, Mindy, huh? 7 00:01:30,324 --> 00:01:31,573 Can I, hmm? 8 00:01:31,609 --> 00:01:34,726 This is one of those questions I always dread. 9 00:01:34,761 --> 00:01:36,211 All right, what is it? 10 00:01:36,246 --> 00:01:37,445 It's real cute. 11 00:01:37,480 --> 00:01:38,625 Mm-hmm. 12 00:01:38,649 --> 00:01:39,709 It's fuzzy. Mm-hmm. 13 00:01:39,733 --> 00:01:40,866 It's about this tall. 14 00:01:40,901 --> 00:01:44,202 A dog that's been run over by a truck? 15 00:01:44,238 --> 00:01:47,656 Oh, Mindy, that's so sick. 16 00:01:47,691 --> 00:01:49,651 Squashed dogs can't follow you home. 17 00:01:50,861 --> 00:01:54,163 Look. It's a kittypiller! 18 00:01:54,198 --> 00:01:55,864 Oh, that's a caterpillar. 19 00:01:55,899 --> 00:01:59,034 Not for a few weeks yet, it hasn't got hair on its chest. 20 00:01:59,069 --> 00:02:00,746 No, they're always called caterpillars. 21 00:02:00,770 --> 00:02:03,922 Oh, idiot moi. 22 00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:05,986 Well, does it have a name yet? 23 00:02:06,010 --> 00:02:08,159 Well, I like to call her Bob. 24 00:02:08,194 --> 00:02:10,328 See? She looked up when I said her name. 25 00:02:10,363 --> 00:02:12,380 Oh, that end isn't her head. 26 00:02:12,415 --> 00:02:15,049 Really? 27 00:02:15,085 --> 00:02:18,220 I thought she was smiling at me. 28 00:02:18,255 --> 00:02:19,255 Here we go, Bob. 29 00:02:19,290 --> 00:02:20,255 There we go. 30 00:02:20,291 --> 00:02:21,501 Go for a walk in the candy dish. 31 00:02:21,525 --> 00:02:22,590 There we go. 32 00:02:22,626 --> 00:02:25,843 Now, I hope you're not hypoglycemic. 33 00:02:25,879 --> 00:02:28,246 So, Mork, a caterpillar followed you home, huh? 34 00:02:28,282 --> 00:02:31,599 Yeah, I had to walk real slow and like this. 35 00:02:31,635 --> 00:02:33,013 How do you know that it's a girl? 36 00:02:33,037 --> 00:02:35,704 Are you kidding, with a body like that? 37 00:02:35,739 --> 00:02:37,918 Well, I think you have a lovely insect 38 00:02:37,942 --> 00:02:39,585 and you two do make a lovely couple, 39 00:02:39,609 --> 00:02:41,087 but I have a French class tonight 40 00:02:41,111 --> 00:02:42,856 and I'm going to go change my clothes. 41 00:02:42,880 --> 00:02:45,680 Oh, why don't you show Bob the rest of the house. 42 00:02:45,716 --> 00:02:47,499 Thank you. 43 00:02:50,404 --> 00:02:52,754 Now, Bob, don't get mad. It's all right. 44 00:02:52,789 --> 00:02:54,701 You'll get to like Mindy once you get to know her. 45 00:02:54,725 --> 00:02:55,835 She's just a little jealous. 46 00:02:55,859 --> 00:02:58,660 I mean, she doesn't have a fur coat like yours. 47 00:02:58,696 --> 00:03:00,707 Well, now that we're here, let's relax. Sit down. 48 00:03:00,731 --> 00:03:02,008 Put your feet up. Put your feet up. 49 00:03:02,032 --> 00:03:03,392 Put your feet up. Put your feet up. 50 00:03:04,518 --> 00:03:07,418 I'll be right back, my petite fuzz. 51 00:03:07,454 --> 00:03:08,454 Un moment. 52 00:03:08,488 --> 00:03:10,466 Why don't you slip into something more silky. 53 00:03:10,490 --> 00:03:11,823 Ar-ark! 54 00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:15,810 Mork! 55 00:03:15,846 --> 00:03:16,928 Exidor! 56 00:03:16,964 --> 00:03:20,131 In this life, yes. 57 00:03:20,166 --> 00:03:21,700 Do you mind? 58 00:03:21,735 --> 00:03:24,536 We're having a private conversation. 59 00:03:24,571 --> 00:03:27,773 I told you guys to wait on the moped. Get out! 60 00:03:27,808 --> 00:03:31,176 Entourages can be the pits. 61 00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:33,194 Exidor, come in. Sit down. 62 00:03:33,230 --> 00:03:35,230 I'd like you to meet my insect. 63 00:03:36,233 --> 00:03:38,567 Plenty of time for that later. 64 00:03:39,737 --> 00:03:43,938 Mork... I have come here 65 00:03:43,974 --> 00:03:46,024 to preach the only true religion. 66 00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:47,753 What's the only true religion this time? 67 00:03:47,777 --> 00:03:50,478 Reincarnation! 68 00:03:50,513 --> 00:03:52,430 We have all lived before, 69 00:03:52,465 --> 00:03:54,511 and we shall all be born again. 70 00:03:54,535 --> 00:03:58,102 Oh, the ultimate déjà vu. 71 00:03:58,138 --> 00:04:01,039 In a previous life, I was a very famous person. 72 00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:02,273 Guess who. 73 00:04:02,309 --> 00:04:04,387 Are you now or have you ever been a member 74 00:04:04,411 --> 00:04:05,677 of the Communist Party? 75 00:04:05,713 --> 00:04:08,513 Just to meet girls. 76 00:04:10,817 --> 00:04:12,495 Are you currently in a Broadway show? 77 00:04:12,519 --> 00:04:14,102 No. 78 00:04:14,138 --> 00:04:15,398 Are you bigger than a bread box? 79 00:04:15,422 --> 00:04:16,671 Yes. 80 00:04:16,706 --> 00:04:20,475 I got it. You're the editor of the National Enquirer. 81 00:04:20,511 --> 00:04:21,860 He's not dead. 82 00:04:21,895 --> 00:04:23,711 I can wait. 83 00:04:26,883 --> 00:04:28,784 I'm surprised, Mork. 84 00:04:28,819 --> 00:04:30,185 I thought you'd guess. 85 00:04:30,220 --> 00:04:33,155 I was Julius Caesar. 86 00:04:33,190 --> 00:04:36,925 I had the little laurel leaves right around the ear. 87 00:04:36,960 --> 00:04:38,138 And if you look closely, 88 00:04:38,162 --> 00:04:39,705 you can even see a little mulch. 89 00:04:39,729 --> 00:04:42,463 You were Julius Caesar? 90 00:04:42,499 --> 00:04:43,777 Absolutely. 91 00:04:43,801 --> 00:04:48,703 I know because I get stabbing pains every Ides of March. 92 00:04:48,738 --> 00:04:53,475 Really? Then you'll enjoy meeting my new friend, Bob. 93 00:04:53,510 --> 00:04:58,663 You made friends with a fuzzy Tootsie Roll? 94 00:04:58,698 --> 00:05:01,716 No, it's, no, look closer. It's a caterpillar. 95 00:05:01,751 --> 00:05:07,022 Why, this is no ordinary caterpillar, Mork. 96 00:05:07,057 --> 00:05:09,558 This is the reincarnation of Abraham Lincoln! 97 00:05:09,593 --> 00:05:11,026 No! 98 00:05:11,061 --> 00:05:12,705 Yes! How can you tell? 99 00:05:12,729 --> 00:05:15,614 Is that the face of someone who would tolerate slavery? 100 00:05:15,649 --> 00:05:16,598 That's not her face. 101 00:05:16,633 --> 00:05:20,468 Really? I thought she was smiling at me. 102 00:05:23,273 --> 00:05:28,109 Well, I have to be going, but don't worry, Mork, 103 00:05:28,145 --> 00:05:32,697 I'll be coming back... If you get my drift. 104 00:05:34,301 --> 00:05:35,250 Mork... 105 00:05:35,285 --> 00:05:37,285 I know her. 106 00:05:37,321 --> 00:05:38,601 Cleopatra! 107 00:05:39,556 --> 00:05:40,972 It's me, Julie! 108 00:05:42,859 --> 00:05:44,242 What? 109 00:05:44,277 --> 00:05:46,527 How quickly they forget. 110 00:05:49,415 --> 00:05:53,284 Those robes somehow look strangely familiar. 111 00:05:53,320 --> 00:05:55,381 They ought to be after what you and Marc Antony did to him. 112 00:05:55,405 --> 00:05:56,538 You and that asp of yours. 113 00:05:56,573 --> 00:05:59,924 You know, Mork, between your friends and your pets, 114 00:05:59,959 --> 00:06:02,238 I sometimes wonder if you're an advanced alien being, 115 00:06:02,262 --> 00:06:04,795 or just an intergalactic bozo. 116 00:06:04,831 --> 00:06:05,831 The answer is... 117 00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:08,333 Both! 118 00:06:09,536 --> 00:06:10,718 Oh, look Mindy, Bob's hungry. 119 00:06:10,753 --> 00:06:12,620 Do you have anything green in the ice box? 120 00:06:12,655 --> 00:06:14,800 Hmm... last month's cottage cheese. 121 00:06:14,824 --> 00:06:16,791 Oh, leafy green is better than lumpy green, 122 00:06:16,827 --> 00:06:17,925 but I'll give it a try. 123 00:06:17,961 --> 00:06:19,689 Listen, I'm going to be late for class. 124 00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:20,773 I've got to go. 125 00:06:20,797 --> 00:06:22,908 Hey, maybe you can get something from Mr. Bickley. 126 00:06:22,932 --> 00:06:24,782 No, I've already had my shots. 127 00:06:24,818 --> 00:06:27,068 I mean food, silly. 128 00:06:27,104 --> 00:06:28,453 Bye. I'll see you later. 129 00:06:33,226 --> 00:06:35,243 You have a bug for a pet? 130 00:06:35,279 --> 00:06:37,189 Oh, yes. I pulled a thorn out of his paw 131 00:06:37,213 --> 00:06:39,292 and the other 13 legs followed me home. 132 00:06:39,316 --> 00:06:42,917 Nobody has a bug for a pet. 133 00:06:42,952 --> 00:06:43,996 Are you kidding? 134 00:06:44,020 --> 00:06:45,632 Bob's clean. She's leaf-broken. 135 00:06:45,656 --> 00:06:47,422 She's a skilled mime, too. 136 00:06:47,457 --> 00:06:50,975 Bob, do your "Caterpillar Walking Against the Wind." 137 00:06:51,010 --> 00:06:53,044 Bugs can't do diddly. 138 00:06:53,079 --> 00:06:55,847 Now, a dog is something you can train. 139 00:06:55,882 --> 00:06:57,148 Look. 140 00:06:57,183 --> 00:06:59,600 Bickie, oh, sweetheart. 141 00:06:59,636 --> 00:07:01,619 Bickie can do lots of tricks. 142 00:07:01,655 --> 00:07:03,399 You can train him to do anything. 143 00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:06,057 Look, he can wave. 144 00:07:06,092 --> 00:07:08,426 Wave, Bickie. 145 00:07:08,461 --> 00:07:11,262 He can salute. 146 00:07:11,298 --> 00:07:13,297 He can pledge allegiance... 147 00:07:13,332 --> 00:07:14,744 Oh, yeah? Bob can pledge allegiance 148 00:07:14,768 --> 00:07:16,467 to 14 countries at once! 149 00:07:16,502 --> 00:07:19,988 Bickie can sit up and beg. 150 00:07:20,023 --> 00:07:24,025 Well, Bob doesn't have to. She's independently wealthy. 151 00:07:24,060 --> 00:07:25,393 That's stupid. 152 00:07:25,429 --> 00:07:26,906 If you put that thing on the rug, 153 00:07:26,930 --> 00:07:28,890 it would look like a cigarette burn. 154 00:07:30,117 --> 00:07:31,866 I'm a busy man. 155 00:07:31,901 --> 00:07:34,536 I'm having my dinner and I don't have to sit around 156 00:07:34,571 --> 00:07:36,749 and listen while you try to convince me that 157 00:07:36,773 --> 00:07:39,824 your insipid bug is superior to my stupid dog. 158 00:07:39,860 --> 00:07:41,671 Oh, really? You shouldn't have said that. 159 00:07:41,695 --> 00:07:43,740 Bob, no! Bob, no! Down, Bob! Down, Bob! 160 00:07:43,764 --> 00:07:46,030 I don't want to listen to any more of this 161 00:07:46,065 --> 00:07:48,032 inane conversation about insects. 162 00:07:48,067 --> 00:07:49,545 Are you implying that you want me to bug off? 163 00:07:49,569 --> 00:07:52,169 Right. All right. 164 00:07:52,205 --> 00:07:53,383 I hope you realize, Mr. Bickley, 165 00:07:53,407 --> 00:07:54,584 that you're being awfully cruel. 166 00:07:54,608 --> 00:07:56,519 You're hurting the feelings of another life-form. 167 00:07:56,543 --> 00:07:59,043 Okay, I'll be good. 168 00:07:59,078 --> 00:08:02,614 Your pet, Bob, has one worthwhile use. 169 00:08:02,649 --> 00:08:03,826 What's that? 170 00:08:03,850 --> 00:08:05,717 He'd make a great bookmark. 171 00:08:05,752 --> 00:08:07,952 Oh... 172 00:08:12,042 --> 00:08:13,886 Where is the "other woman"? 173 00:08:13,910 --> 00:08:15,977 Shh. She's asleep. 174 00:08:16,013 --> 00:08:21,483 In a brand-new, combination log cabin and condominium. 175 00:08:21,518 --> 00:08:25,887 See? I built her a little hot tub and some lawn furniture. 176 00:08:25,922 --> 00:08:27,417 Here's a little chaise lounge and inside, 177 00:08:27,441 --> 00:08:29,135 she has a beetle for a chauffeur, 178 00:08:29,159 --> 00:08:30,858 a dragonfly for a hairdresser. 179 00:08:32,962 --> 00:08:34,640 She's got a little vicious watch-ant to protect 180 00:08:34,664 --> 00:08:36,209 her property, see? It always goes for the toes. 181 00:08:36,233 --> 00:08:38,016 Nyah, nyah! 182 00:08:38,051 --> 00:08:40,146 And tomorrow I'm going to take her to the movie The Swarm, 183 00:08:40,170 --> 00:08:42,448 because Bob says she knows one of the stunt bees personally. 184 00:08:42,472 --> 00:08:46,390 Well, you certainly are being nice to her, Mork. 185 00:08:46,426 --> 00:08:47,837 I can see why she looks up to you. 186 00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:50,211 Mindy, Bob looks up to everybody. 187 00:08:50,246 --> 00:08:52,608 Yeah, but not everybody's that nice to their pet. 188 00:08:52,632 --> 00:08:54,064 Yeah, I know. 189 00:08:54,100 --> 00:08:57,034 Tomorrow I'm going to take her for a crawl. 190 00:08:57,069 --> 00:08:59,265 Now, where would you take a caterpillar for a crawl? 191 00:08:59,289 --> 00:09:01,317 Well, she loves the outdoors, so that's why I'm taking her 192 00:09:01,341 --> 00:09:03,085 to your philodendron so she can feel a little dirt 193 00:09:03,109 --> 00:09:04,687 between her toes and crawl softly and slowly. 194 00:09:04,711 --> 00:09:06,927 So, how's that French class of yours? 195 00:09:06,963 --> 00:09:08,596 Comme ci, comme ça. 196 00:09:08,632 --> 00:09:09,930 What's that mean? 197 00:09:09,966 --> 00:09:11,794 Eeh-eh, eeh-eh. 198 00:09:11,818 --> 00:09:13,651 Did you hear that, Bob? 199 00:09:13,686 --> 00:09:15,198 Comme ci, comme ça means eeh-eh. 200 00:09:15,222 --> 00:09:17,188 I do that, too. 201 00:09:17,224 --> 00:09:19,657 Bob, you got to wake up now, sleepyhead. 202 00:09:19,692 --> 00:09:21,437 Come on, you can't sleep your whole life away. 203 00:09:21,461 --> 00:09:23,911 Time for a little Yoga. Let's go. 204 00:09:23,947 --> 00:09:29,234 Bob! Nova! Come on, Bob. Bob... 205 00:09:29,269 --> 00:09:31,469 What are you doing? 206 00:09:31,504 --> 00:09:33,671 I'm giving her cardiopulmonary resuscitation. 207 00:09:35,708 --> 00:09:38,659 It's too late. Bob's dead. 208 00:09:38,694 --> 00:09:40,862 Ooh... 209 00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:52,857 Oh, she was so young, so beautiful. 210 00:09:52,892 --> 00:09:54,592 She had so much to live for. 211 00:09:54,628 --> 00:09:58,196 I was going to buy her those ballet shoes. 212 00:09:58,231 --> 00:10:01,065 Mork, even caterpillars have to die. 213 00:10:01,100 --> 00:10:02,433 There's one last hope. 214 00:10:02,468 --> 00:10:03,784 Exidor's coming in a minute. 215 00:10:03,820 --> 00:10:05,186 Why did you call him? 216 00:10:05,221 --> 00:10:07,755 Maybe he can bring Bob back. He's into reincarnation. 217 00:10:07,790 --> 00:10:11,259 Oh, Mork, you're just going to have to face the facts. 218 00:10:11,294 --> 00:10:12,626 Bob is gone for good. 219 00:10:12,662 --> 00:10:15,996 Oh, I know. I blame myself. 220 00:10:16,032 --> 00:10:17,832 I should have known she was sick 221 00:10:17,867 --> 00:10:20,368 when she looked up and went "Ug-Ugh!" 222 00:10:20,403 --> 00:10:22,870 Mork, it was only a bug! 223 00:10:22,905 --> 00:10:24,255 What?! 224 00:10:24,291 --> 00:10:25,701 All right, I didn't mean that, 225 00:10:25,725 --> 00:10:27,942 but it's not your fault that it died. 226 00:10:27,977 --> 00:10:29,577 Oh, you're right. Yeah, you're right. 227 00:10:29,612 --> 00:10:31,046 It was your fault, wasn't it? 228 00:10:32,849 --> 00:10:34,360 Yeah, you were jealous, weren't you? 229 00:10:34,384 --> 00:10:36,544 You had better legs, but she had more of them. 230 00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:39,414 Now that she's dead, you want to laugh! 231 00:10:39,438 --> 00:10:42,290 Well, go ahead. Awr-awr-awr-awr! 232 00:10:42,325 --> 00:10:43,958 Mork, what are you saying?! 233 00:10:43,994 --> 00:10:47,195 Oh, Mindy, Mindy, Oh... Mindy! 234 00:10:47,230 --> 00:10:48,630 Oh... Oh! 235 00:10:48,665 --> 00:10:51,599 If this is the emotion of grief, it really stinks. 236 00:10:51,634 --> 00:10:54,185 Oh, Mork, I understand. 237 00:10:54,220 --> 00:10:57,121 Earthlings feel the same way when a pet they love dies. 238 00:10:57,157 --> 00:10:58,522 Love... ha! 239 00:10:58,558 --> 00:11:02,526 Who said it was love? It was just a stupid bug. 240 00:11:02,562 --> 00:11:04,878 I know what you're going through. 241 00:11:04,914 --> 00:11:06,163 I really do. 242 00:11:06,199 --> 00:11:08,750 Oh, Mindy, how could I say that about her? 243 00:11:08,785 --> 00:11:11,619 I worshipped the ground that she crawled on. 244 00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:15,106 Mork! 245 00:11:15,141 --> 00:11:17,959 I came over as soon as you called. What's wrong? 246 00:11:17,994 --> 00:11:20,128 Abraham Lincoln's dead again. 247 00:11:20,163 --> 00:11:25,516 Um, excuse me, Mr. Exidor, but what exactly is it that you do? 248 00:11:25,551 --> 00:11:28,836 I'm a spirit migration engineer. 249 00:11:28,871 --> 00:11:30,505 You're a grave robber? 250 00:11:30,540 --> 00:11:33,208 No, that's a body migration engineer. 251 00:11:33,243 --> 00:11:35,776 Oh... oh, no. 252 00:11:35,812 --> 00:11:38,279 It's all right, Mork. We still have time. 253 00:11:38,315 --> 00:11:41,516 If we hurry, we can bring Bob back as a lower life-form. 254 00:11:41,551 --> 00:11:43,145 What's lower than a caterpillar? 255 00:11:43,169 --> 00:11:46,537 A caterpillar trainee. 256 00:11:46,573 --> 00:11:48,689 Oh... How can we do that? 257 00:11:48,725 --> 00:11:51,159 The entire process has been formulated 258 00:11:51,194 --> 00:11:53,894 scientifically by Dr. Paul Kerns, 259 00:11:53,930 --> 00:11:57,832 Professor of Reincarnation at Colorado Tech. 260 00:11:57,868 --> 00:12:00,751 Well, as long as it's scientific. 261 00:12:00,787 --> 00:12:04,672 First, we'll do the magic incantation. 262 00:12:04,708 --> 00:12:05,823 Repeat after me: 263 00:12:05,858 --> 00:12:07,558 Ohwah... 264 00:12:07,593 --> 00:12:09,477 Ohwah... 265 00:12:09,513 --> 00:12:11,395 Ta jer... 266 00:12:11,431 --> 00:12:12,813 Ta jer... 267 00:12:12,849 --> 00:12:14,465 Kiam. 268 00:12:14,500 --> 00:12:15,316 Kiam. 269 00:12:15,351 --> 00:12:17,034 Now repeat it quickly, Mork. 270 00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:19,820 Ohwah ta jer kiam. 271 00:12:19,856 --> 00:12:21,773 Ohwah ta jer kiam. 272 00:12:21,808 --> 00:12:24,609 Oh, what a jerk I am. Oh, what a jerk... 273 00:12:30,567 --> 00:12:32,745 Exidor, how can you make jokes at a time like this?! 274 00:12:32,769 --> 00:12:34,768 Mork, lighten up. 275 00:12:34,804 --> 00:12:37,405 You're always so serious. 276 00:12:37,440 --> 00:12:39,023 But Bob's dead. 277 00:12:39,059 --> 00:12:42,760 Not dead, just preparing her comeback. 278 00:12:46,616 --> 00:12:48,098 It's now time 279 00:12:48,134 --> 00:12:50,552 for the Ritual Reincarnation Boogie. 280 00:12:52,422 --> 00:12:57,442 Arise, oh, defunct creepy crawler! 281 00:12:57,477 --> 00:13:03,448 Arise, oh, many-legged cadaver! 282 00:13:03,483 --> 00:13:05,049 Well, that's that. 283 00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:07,735 What's what? Nothing happened! 284 00:13:07,770 --> 00:13:10,221 Oh, that's a shocker. 285 00:13:10,256 --> 00:13:13,925 Bob has been reincarnated as a cow. 286 00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:16,094 That's wonderful. No, that's terrible! 287 00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:17,395 He'll be eaten. 288 00:13:17,430 --> 00:13:20,948 No, she's safe. She's in India. She's sacred. 289 00:13:20,983 --> 00:13:23,584 Holy cow. 290 00:13:23,620 --> 00:13:27,605 Remember to call me if anybody else you love dies. 291 00:13:27,641 --> 00:13:29,681 Oh, well, thanks so much for everything. 292 00:13:32,661 --> 00:13:35,680 You used to have the best barge in Egypt. 293 00:13:41,488 --> 00:13:43,921 Hey, you kids, get away from that mule! 294 00:13:53,533 --> 00:13:55,233 Mindy, I know. 295 00:13:55,268 --> 00:13:59,003 Sometimes Exidor can have Swiss cheese for brains, but... 296 00:13:59,038 --> 00:14:02,606 tell me the truth, Bob's gone forever, isn't she? 297 00:14:02,642 --> 00:14:04,158 Yes. 298 00:14:04,193 --> 00:14:06,661 Oh. 299 00:14:06,696 --> 00:14:09,964 Well, what do you Earthlings do when your pets die? 300 00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:12,816 Oh, well, usually we have a little funeral 301 00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:14,585 and then flush them down... 302 00:14:16,589 --> 00:14:18,989 I mean, uh, we... we bury them. 303 00:14:19,025 --> 00:14:21,492 We can do that for Bob, then, can we? 304 00:14:21,528 --> 00:14:23,761 Sure we can, Mork. 305 00:14:23,796 --> 00:14:25,524 We'll talk about it tomorrow, okay? 306 00:14:25,548 --> 00:14:26,548 Oh, thanks, Mindy. 307 00:14:26,583 --> 00:14:28,516 Well, I'd better get started. 308 00:14:28,551 --> 00:14:30,134 Started doing what? 309 00:14:30,170 --> 00:14:31,402 Well, it's the least I can do. 310 00:14:31,437 --> 00:14:34,355 I've got to notify the 86 million next of kin. 311 00:14:36,726 --> 00:14:38,359 Bob is dead. Pass it on. 312 00:14:47,186 --> 00:14:49,170 How about late August? 313 00:14:49,205 --> 00:14:53,874 Yeah, yeah, it's usually pretty dead around here then. 314 00:14:53,909 --> 00:14:55,309 Oh... 315 00:14:55,345 --> 00:14:56,961 I'll talk to you later, Jim. 316 00:14:56,997 --> 00:14:58,296 Just got a vertical. 317 00:15:01,617 --> 00:15:02,516 Hello. 318 00:15:02,552 --> 00:15:04,518 May I be of assistance? 319 00:15:04,554 --> 00:15:05,586 Yes. 320 00:15:05,621 --> 00:15:07,182 Is this the place where you bring the dead? 321 00:15:07,206 --> 00:15:09,741 Those who have passed into spirit 322 00:15:09,776 --> 00:15:11,342 are always welcome here. 323 00:15:11,377 --> 00:15:14,857 I don't know if she passed into spirit, but she sure croaked. 324 00:15:14,881 --> 00:15:17,315 Yes, well, you are in the right place. 325 00:15:17,350 --> 00:15:18,350 Please, uh, 326 00:15:18,385 --> 00:15:19,850 sit down, won't you? 327 00:15:19,886 --> 00:15:23,404 Now, was the deceased a relative of yours? 328 00:15:23,439 --> 00:15:24,872 No. I only knew her a few days. 329 00:15:24,907 --> 00:15:26,457 Oh, you're very kind 330 00:15:26,492 --> 00:15:29,176 to be making arrangements for her everlasting peace. 331 00:15:29,212 --> 00:15:30,906 Well, it's the least I could do; 332 00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:32,107 we lived together. 333 00:15:32,131 --> 00:15:33,730 Oh, I see. 334 00:15:33,766 --> 00:15:35,899 Well, not to worry. 335 00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:38,636 We here at the Herman Funeral Home, 336 00:15:38,671 --> 00:15:41,973 we don't make judgments on our clients' lifestyles. 337 00:15:42,008 --> 00:15:44,208 What was her name? 338 00:15:44,243 --> 00:15:46,427 Bob. 339 00:15:51,584 --> 00:15:53,851 I see. 340 00:15:53,886 --> 00:15:55,436 And the last name? 341 00:15:55,471 --> 00:15:56,437 I don't know. 342 00:15:56,472 --> 00:15:58,432 Last names weren't important to us. 343 00:15:59,826 --> 00:16:01,792 I can imagine. 344 00:16:01,828 --> 00:16:05,029 Well now, I would only assume that you would want... 345 00:16:05,065 --> 00:16:07,965 Bob to have the best. 346 00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:09,567 That sounds wonderful. 347 00:16:09,602 --> 00:16:11,785 Now, what would you like for an epitaph? 348 00:16:11,820 --> 00:16:13,665 Well, I could start off with a shrimp cocktail, 349 00:16:13,689 --> 00:16:15,222 have some espresso... 350 00:16:16,609 --> 00:16:19,410 No, I mean what would you like written on the headstone? 351 00:16:19,446 --> 00:16:20,506 Oh. 352 00:16:20,530 --> 00:16:24,182 Here lies Bob. She's dead. 353 00:16:26,803 --> 00:16:29,871 It's a beautiful sentiment. 354 00:16:29,906 --> 00:16:31,572 And totally accurate. 355 00:16:31,607 --> 00:16:33,724 Now, let's see. 356 00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:35,059 Adding on a simple wreath, 357 00:16:35,094 --> 00:16:37,962 a small spray of flowers, pallbearers, 358 00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:41,565 basic ceremony and a compact hearse... 359 00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:45,970 That comes to $2,800. 360 00:16:46,005 --> 00:16:46,788 For what? 361 00:16:46,823 --> 00:16:49,323 For the funeral, the expenses. 362 00:16:49,358 --> 00:16:51,187 You mean it costs money to die? 363 00:16:51,211 --> 00:16:54,094 Only if you want to die decently. 364 00:16:54,130 --> 00:16:55,112 Bob died great. 365 00:16:55,148 --> 00:16:56,113 And nothing you can do 366 00:16:56,149 --> 00:16:57,114 will make her feel any better. 367 00:16:57,150 --> 00:16:58,560 But the point is to make you feel better. 368 00:16:58,584 --> 00:16:59,795 Well, the only way I'll feel better 369 00:16:59,819 --> 00:17:01,296 is if Bob stayed with me forever and ever. 370 00:17:01,320 --> 00:17:02,564 And that's exactly what I'm going to do... 371 00:17:02,588 --> 00:17:03,554 Keep her with me in my room. 372 00:17:03,590 --> 00:17:05,122 Keep her with you in your... 373 00:17:13,465 --> 00:17:15,277 Some cocktail party. 374 00:17:15,301 --> 00:17:16,684 Where's the pretzels? 375 00:17:16,719 --> 00:17:17,863 What are you talking about? 376 00:17:17,887 --> 00:17:19,687 Mork sent me this card saying 377 00:17:19,722 --> 00:17:21,656 he was having a cocktail party. 378 00:17:21,691 --> 00:17:23,535 Well, I knew you wouldn't come 379 00:17:23,559 --> 00:17:25,271 if I told you it was a funeral. 380 00:17:25,295 --> 00:17:26,994 A funeral? Who died? 381 00:17:27,030 --> 00:17:28,979 Our dear departed Bob. 382 00:17:29,014 --> 00:17:30,014 That caterpillar? 383 00:17:30,050 --> 00:17:32,182 I thought she keeled over weeks ago. 384 00:17:34,537 --> 00:17:37,321 Renewed sorrow! Anguish! 385 00:17:37,356 --> 00:17:40,240 And assorted other emotions. 386 00:17:40,276 --> 00:17:42,154 He's been keeping that thing in his pocket. 387 00:17:42,178 --> 00:17:43,689 I finally convinced him it was time 388 00:17:43,713 --> 00:17:44,924 to put poor old Bob to rest. 389 00:17:44,948 --> 00:17:47,014 Well, if you'll excuse me... 390 00:17:47,050 --> 00:17:48,928 Oh, no, please don't go, Mr. Bickley. 391 00:17:48,952 --> 00:17:51,418 I don't go to bug wakes. 392 00:17:51,454 --> 00:17:54,088 Look, I know this sounds silly, 393 00:17:54,123 --> 00:17:56,202 but Mork really loved that bug. 394 00:17:56,226 --> 00:17:57,736 And besides, for afterwards, 395 00:17:57,760 --> 00:17:59,905 I got a bottle of your favorite snack. 396 00:17:59,929 --> 00:18:01,628 Oh, all right. 397 00:18:01,664 --> 00:18:04,881 But don't ask me to view the body. 398 00:18:07,487 --> 00:18:09,854 Please be seated. 399 00:18:11,424 --> 00:18:13,541 Hey, what's this? 400 00:18:13,576 --> 00:18:15,493 I've never seen a casket 401 00:18:15,528 --> 00:18:19,230 that offers a course in computer programming. 402 00:18:27,974 --> 00:18:31,574 What can you say about a caterpillar? 403 00:18:34,597 --> 00:18:38,115 Bob was all that and more. 404 00:18:38,151 --> 00:18:42,886 She was a friend, a joy, an inspiration. 405 00:18:44,056 --> 00:18:47,024 Bob will never do the things she dreamed of 406 00:18:47,059 --> 00:18:49,376 now that she's stiff city. 407 00:18:51,130 --> 00:18:53,342 It's not going to be easy to follow in her footsteps, 408 00:18:53,366 --> 00:18:57,118 but tomorrow, seven of us are going to try. 409 00:18:57,153 --> 00:18:59,954 All I have to say in closing is, 410 00:18:59,989 --> 00:19:05,242 "If you knew Bobbie like I knew Bobbie, 411 00:19:05,277 --> 00:19:09,046 oy, oy, oy, what a bug." 412 00:19:17,122 --> 00:19:18,756 And now to say a few words, 413 00:19:18,791 --> 00:19:21,291 a fine, upstanding shiksa in her own right... 414 00:19:23,946 --> 00:19:27,013 a personal friend of mine and Bobbie's, Mindy McConnell. 415 00:19:27,049 --> 00:19:28,710 Please come up... 416 00:19:28,734 --> 00:19:29,884 Me?! 417 00:19:33,722 --> 00:19:34,688 Uh... 418 00:19:34,723 --> 00:19:36,306 although, uh, 419 00:19:36,342 --> 00:19:38,459 Bob and I lived under th-the same roof, 420 00:19:38,494 --> 00:19:40,678 we-we never really knew each other that well. 421 00:19:40,713 --> 00:19:42,980 I mean, I'm even afraid of spiders, right? 422 00:19:47,670 --> 00:19:50,187 Anyway, in spite of our differences, 423 00:19:50,223 --> 00:19:52,989 I-I feel that I-I got to know Bob better than... 424 00:19:53,025 --> 00:19:56,327 any other caterpillar I ever met, and, uh... 425 00:19:56,362 --> 00:19:58,061 she sure was great, Bob was. 426 00:20:01,416 --> 00:20:03,896 Thank you, Mindala. 427 00:20:05,705 --> 00:20:08,138 And now, a man who is said 428 00:20:08,174 --> 00:20:10,134 to have the warmth of a snow pea... 429 00:20:12,445 --> 00:20:13,643 Mr. Bickley. 430 00:20:13,679 --> 00:20:15,023 Mr. Bickley, a few words. 431 00:20:24,256 --> 00:20:25,972 With heavy heart 432 00:20:26,008 --> 00:20:30,210 and mournful eyes 433 00:20:30,245 --> 00:20:34,748 and tears that softly flow... 434 00:20:34,783 --> 00:20:38,886 we say our final, sad good-byes, 435 00:20:38,921 --> 00:20:42,256 to a fuzzy escargot. 436 00:20:54,136 --> 00:20:56,270 Hog slop. 437 00:20:57,773 --> 00:20:59,906 When I first met Bob, 438 00:20:59,942 --> 00:21:04,177 I had no way of knowing she was on her last legs. 439 00:21:04,213 --> 00:21:08,699 But, uh, I realized she was a good pet. 440 00:21:08,735 --> 00:21:10,468 Not as good as dog, though. 441 00:21:10,503 --> 00:21:13,036 A dog can hop up on your bed 442 00:21:13,072 --> 00:21:16,574 and snuggle his cute little face next to you 443 00:21:16,609 --> 00:21:21,178 in the bed and softly whimper when he's hungry and... 444 00:21:21,213 --> 00:21:24,315 and put his little paw in yours as though to say, 445 00:21:24,350 --> 00:21:26,116 "I love you, Daddy." 446 00:21:26,152 --> 00:21:28,736 Oh, I can't take it anymore! 447 00:21:29,572 --> 00:21:31,205 I'm coming, Bickey! 448 00:21:31,240 --> 00:21:33,373 Daddy's coming! Daddy's...! 449 00:21:37,613 --> 00:21:40,031 And now... 450 00:21:40,066 --> 00:21:42,546 it's time for the burial. 451 00:21:50,309 --> 00:21:52,709 Oh, you want the Evelyn Wood version? 452 00:21:58,484 --> 00:21:59,628 I want to bury her 453 00:21:59,652 --> 00:22:01,463 out here in your philodendron 454 00:22:01,487 --> 00:22:03,927 so she'd always be outdoors. 455 00:22:10,646 --> 00:22:12,212 Oh... who are you 456 00:22:12,247 --> 00:22:13,792 and what have you done with Bob? 457 00:22:13,816 --> 00:22:15,549 That is Bob, Mork. 458 00:22:15,584 --> 00:22:17,434 She's turned into a butterfly. 459 00:22:17,470 --> 00:22:18,513 Quick, take her to the window. 460 00:22:18,537 --> 00:22:20,182 Mindy, I don't understand. What's happening? 461 00:22:20,206 --> 00:22:21,171 Well, see, Bob wasn't dead. 462 00:22:21,207 --> 00:22:22,172 She was just changing. 463 00:22:22,208 --> 00:22:23,318 Caterpillars turn into butterflies. 464 00:22:23,342 --> 00:22:25,709 Oh, I guess I'd better set her free. 465 00:22:25,745 --> 00:22:27,394 There we go, Bob. 466 00:22:27,429 --> 00:22:28,628 Fly, Bob! 467 00:22:28,664 --> 00:22:30,047 Be free! 468 00:22:31,033 --> 00:22:32,833 There you go, Bob! 469 00:22:32,868 --> 00:22:35,302 Oh, she was beautiful. 470 00:22:35,337 --> 00:22:36,953 Yeah. 471 00:22:36,989 --> 00:22:39,429 Well, now I guess you probably believe 472 00:22:39,458 --> 00:22:42,359 what Exidor said about reincarnation, right? 473 00:22:42,395 --> 00:22:44,645 No, I still think Exidor had his head up his foot. 474 00:22:44,680 --> 00:22:46,580 Maybe he's right, though. 475 00:22:46,615 --> 00:22:49,549 Maybe when you die, something beautiful happens. 476 00:22:49,584 --> 00:22:51,084 That's a nice thought. 477 00:22:51,120 --> 00:22:52,881 Hey, let's go follow Bob. 478 00:22:52,905 --> 00:22:54,020 All right. 479 00:22:56,391 --> 00:22:57,591 I could have made it. 480 00:23:06,318 --> 00:23:08,302 Mork calling Orson. 481 00:23:08,337 --> 00:23:09,570 Come in, Orson. 482 00:23:09,605 --> 00:23:12,356 Mork calling Orson. 483 00:23:12,391 --> 00:23:14,792 Come in, Orson. 484 00:23:14,827 --> 00:23:17,227 Mork calling Orson. 485 00:23:17,262 --> 00:23:19,013 Come in, Orson. 486 00:23:19,048 --> 00:23:20,730 Yo, Battlestar Gigantica. 487 00:23:20,766 --> 00:23:21,993 Here I am, Mork. 488 00:23:22,017 --> 00:23:23,962 What do you have to report? 489 00:23:23,986 --> 00:23:26,587 Well, sir, this week I learned many wonderful things. 490 00:23:26,622 --> 00:23:27,932 First of all, I learned the meaning 491 00:23:27,956 --> 00:23:30,068 of the old Earth phrase, "You can't take it with you," 492 00:23:30,092 --> 00:23:32,237 because I went to the place where you have to leave it. 493 00:23:32,261 --> 00:23:33,611 It's called a funeral home. 494 00:23:33,646 --> 00:23:36,141 Is that where they put old funerals? 495 00:23:36,165 --> 00:23:37,898 Close, you old gobbler. 496 00:23:37,934 --> 00:23:39,254 You get half a laugh for that one. 497 00:23:40,403 --> 00:23:42,397 No, actually a funeral is like a track meet. 498 00:23:42,421 --> 00:23:43,999 First of all, you have to wear black, 499 00:23:44,023 --> 00:23:45,183 you don't need a stopwatch, 500 00:23:45,207 --> 00:23:47,485 and one of the guys is really lousy in a relay race. 501 00:23:47,509 --> 00:23:50,194 You really have a way with words, Mork. 502 00:23:50,229 --> 00:23:51,523 Oh, thank you, Your Immenseness. 503 00:23:51,547 --> 00:23:52,890 You should have heard the eulogy 504 00:23:52,914 --> 00:23:54,025 I did for my caterpillar. 505 00:23:54,049 --> 00:23:56,128 Mindy says that when he dies, he'll go to Heaven 506 00:23:56,152 --> 00:23:57,551 and be with all the other bugs 507 00:23:57,586 --> 00:23:59,864 and he'll be very happy and everything will be beautiful. 508 00:23:59,888 --> 00:24:00,854 Tell me, 509 00:24:00,889 --> 00:24:02,801 if Heaven is so beautiful, 510 00:24:02,825 --> 00:24:04,369 so perfect, so great, 511 00:24:04,393 --> 00:24:06,960 how come humans don't want to die? 512 00:24:06,996 --> 00:24:08,824 Who wants to be with all those bugs? 513 00:24:08,848 --> 00:24:10,124 What do you think happens 514 00:24:10,148 --> 00:24:11,459 when something dies, Mork? 515 00:24:11,483 --> 00:24:12,666 I don't know, sir. 516 00:24:12,701 --> 00:24:14,635 All I know is when my caterpillar 517 00:24:14,670 --> 00:24:15,786 became a butterfly 518 00:24:15,821 --> 00:24:17,788 and sprouted wings and flew away, 519 00:24:17,823 --> 00:24:19,835 she looked kind of a like a little angel. 520 00:24:19,859 --> 00:24:21,291 See you next week. 521 00:24:21,326 --> 00:24:23,494 ♪ Na-nu na-nu ♪ 522 00:24:23,529 --> 00:24:28,682 ♪ Na-nu na-nu, na-na-na-nu, na-na-na-nu, na-na-na-nu ♪ 523 00:24:28,717 --> 00:24:30,500 ♪ Na-nu na-nu... ♪ 34330

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