All language subtitles for Mork . Mindy.S04E01.Limited Engagement

MORK:
Na-no, na-no.

Ripped By mstoll

Well, I gotta go, Mork.

Keep your fingers crossed for me.

Or whatever you Orkans do for luck.

Oh, look at all the flowers.
Mork, the room looks beautiful.

MORK: I know, Mind,
and not a single Medfly in the bunch.

Oh, Mork.

- Titter, titter, blush, blush, blush.
- Oh, Mork.

Hi. Ha, ha.

Oh, Mork, this is so sweet of you
to do this for me.

But you're a little premature.
I'm not gonna know

about the newscaster job
till this afternoon. But thanks.

[LAUGHS]

Oh, down, boy.
Mork, down, boy, down, boy.

Mind, Mind, Mind...

Go ahead tell her. No, I can't.
Oh, tell her. Tell her. I can't.

Oh, come on, tell her.
Oh, I'm cramping up emotionally.

Just tell her. You can do it.
Tell her, tell her...

Mork, I'm gonna have to wait later.

Sorry, wait. I'm... Oh, wait.
Just tell her. Tell her. It's okay.

[PANTING]

It's all right.

Mindy, you hold my three hearts
in your two hands.

Basically, what I'd like to say is,

will you marry me, Mind?

Mind?

The shiksa split.

Make a small mental note:

It's always better to propose
while she's in the room.

MINDY: Mork?
- Mind, oh, you say the magic words.

Roast.
Don't forget to put it in the oven.

Bye.

All that love for a hunk of meat.

I blew my big moment.

I was there. I blew it.

MAN:
Fore!

MORK:
This is not the American embassy!

Mind if I play through?

Exidor, is that you?

That's what it says on my scorecard.

Try a five iron?

Pepe, that's why you're a caddy
and I'm on the tour.

I always like playing this course.

So well-tended.

Those are for Mindy.
I tried to propose to her.

- What did she say?
- Put the roast in the oven.

So that's where it goes.

Mork, you can join me
on my crusade.

I'm going to take golf from the rich

and give it to the poor.

We'll play in the streets
with real hazards,

like gang violence and mopeds.

Exidor, you've got to help me, please.
I mean, you know everything.

I mean, you even know the color
of Ronald Reagan's real hair.

Please, please, how do...?
How do I propose to Mindy?

Ditch the skirt, Mork.

Yes, but I love Mindy.

Isn't marriage the ultimate
commitment, the eternal bond,

besides a wicked tax break?

It's a sham.

- It's a blessing.
- It's barbaric.

- It's fulfilling.
- It's a candy mint.

- It's a breath mint.
- Oh, stop.

We're both right.

Exidor, please, please,
pull out your putter

and drive me out of this sand trap
of life into the fairway of love.

Mork, there's only two ways
to propose.

B, the old-fashioned way.

You charge into her life
on a fiery white stallion,

toss the tomato
on the back of the saddle

and ride off into the sunset.

I guess the old-fashioned way
is always best

unless you're having
a heart transplant, but...

Well, then you're stuck with C.

- I don't mean to pry, but what's C?
- Hmm?

- C?
- Oh, C.

[LAUGHING]

Well, Mork, I must say
that it's a boring choice,

but it worked for Prince Charles.

I look a lot less like Howdy Doody
than he does.

Mork.

This may shock
and even nauseate you.

That's all right.
I subscribe to the National Enquirer.

Bunny, I may not be
the handsomest man,

or the brightest,

or the wealthiest man in the world,

but I've got his phone number.

Okay, okay.

Okay. Let's see.

Did she come in yet?

Okay.

On your mark, get set, propose.

- Mindy, l...
- You know,

sometimes I wish
I was the garbage man,

when they wake up in the morning,
they expect the world to stink.

Mind, although
we've only known each other now

for 26,802 hours, I feel basically...

Well, I didn't get
the newscaster job.

But am I bitter? No.

Mr. Sternhagen said it had nothing
to do with my being a woman,

it's just that he needed a shortstop
for the station's softball team.

Mind... It's hard to propose
to a moving target. Mind.

- Mindy...
- Oh, I gotta get my mind off this.

I know, let's go do something fun.
You wanna play tennis?

- Oh, l...
- Or we'll do anything.

I'd love to play "Space Invaders."
Go for some pizza, maybe get married.

No, we had Italian food last night.

Cute, but not the greatest
attention span.

Eenie, meenie, minie, mo, you die.

- Thanks.
- Mind,

you know,
I've traveled all around the galaxy,

and I never thought I'd fall
for an Earthling.

Oh, Mork.

You know, I don't think I know

a nicer or kinder being than you.

I love you very much,

and will you marry me?

Mind?

Hon, don't check out
without the baggage. Mind.

Mind. Mind.

Little Pooter. Heh. Mind.

[SQUEAKING]

Hello, everybody.

- What's wrong with Mindy?
- I don't know, Grams.

All I did was ask her to marry me and,
boom, she's got the personality of lint.

- Marry?
- Yes, sir, I think...

Marry my daughter?

Oh, yes, thank you
for your blessing.

Blessing? I'll give you a blessing.

Wouldn't hit a man standing behind
a woman wearing glasses, would you?

CORA:
Married.

You know, I think that we three
should have a talk right now.

- Come on.
- Okay.

I don't think we should neglect Mindy
like this.

- Honey, come on.
- Hi, Dad.

You know, Pops,
wherever Mindy goes, I go,

because basically we're a unit,
right?

Okay, but since we're almost family,
I can make one exception.

Now, honey, let me see if I can...
I can say this tactfully.

Mork is an alien.

He's an extraterrestrial being.

A UFO with legs.

CORA:
Oh, pipe down, Fredzo.

You don't mind having that alien
sit on your television

so you can bring in
20 extra channels.

A television antenna is one thing,
a son-in-law is another.

Don't talk to me about a son-in-law.

Come on, you two.

All right. Technically,
we all know Mork isn't exactly human,

but he has a lot more humanity in him
than anyone I've ever met.

He's sweet, he's charming,
he's sensitive,

and I love him.

Uh, Mindy, you loved Oliver too,
but you got over him.

Oliver was a goldfish.

And he went belly-up.

Will you talk some sense into him,
please?

Oh, Mindy dear, we all love Mork.

Yes, and we don't mind
if he still likes to chase cars

or sit on his face,

but you see, you mustn't let love
spoil your judgment.

Mindy, any mixed marriage is rough.

Yes, but I'm afraid this one
is impossible.

Mindy, look at the facts.
Mork can never support you.

So I'll be the breadwinner.
I want a career.

What happens to your career
if he's transferred to another planet?

I'll commute.

Mindy, think.

Mork is an Orkan
and he's aging backwards.

You'll be on Medicare,
he'll be on pablum.

Dear, you will never be able
to have a normal life.

And what about having a family?

The chances are, you can't.

Oh, Mindy, we don't like to see you
cheated out

of having something
as precious as children.

Honey, it's your decision,

and we just want you to be realistic.

And sometimes that's the hardest thing
in the world.

I always thought my life
would be like a Doris Day movie,

not Barbarella.

How do I weigh what I feel
against what I know is logical?

Honey, I think you know exactly
what has to be done.

MORK: Will you folks talk a little louder?
I can't hear a word you're saying!

This is gonna be a lot harder
than it was

to flush Oliver down the toilet.

Mind, you've been in there all night.
Are you gonna come out?

MINDY:
Yes.

Yes. She said, "Yes."

[SHOUTING]

Mind, Mind, Mind.
Oh, yes, Mind, Mind, Mind, look.

[HUMMING]

Oh, Mork.

Wait, wait, wait.

Oh, Mork, it's a beautiful ring.

- Look at the jewels, they're sparkling.
- Uh-huh.

- They're glittering.
- Mm-hm.

- They're moving.
- Yeah.

Those are his eyes. He's blinking.

- Him? He's alive?
- Yep.

Oh, don't do that.
You'll give him whiplash.

See, the nice thing about it is,
if you drop it, he'll follow you home.

It's a very nice ring,
but I can't accept it.

You don't want
the engagement ring?

- Oh, Mork.
- Mind?

It's not the ring.

See, Mork, sometimes in life,
no matter how much you dream

or you wish for something,
it just can't be.

I guess what I'm really trying to say is,
I can't marry you.

Pshaw, Mind, it's a joke, right,
like the volunteer Army?

[LAUGHING]

Rejection.

Okay.
You don't wanna be Mrs. Mork?

Mind, Mind, Mind, but...

Mind, will you give me one reason
why we can't get married,

bicker, and learn to play canasta
for the rest of our lives?

I can't lie to you,

and it really hurts me
to have to say this.

- It's because you're an alien.
- And?

And? And that's it.

Don't you see? We're from two
completely different worlds.

Oh, Mind, Mind, that never affected,
like, Grace Kelly and Prince Rainier.

I mean, Pocahontas and John Smith,
or Mickey Rooney and pick-a-number.

Mind, come on now.
Mind, I'm not gonna give up.

- No way, like glue, I'm stuck on you.
- Oh, come on. Deep down inside,

you know there's probably a barrier
that shouldn't be crossed.

Yeah, but you said you loved me,
you know, love me.

You know, L-O-V-V.

Mork, I said that and I meant it,
but I'm sorry, my mind is made up.

Oh, but, Mind, you took more time
to make up your mind

about your bathroom wallpaper.

I mean more to you than that,
don't I?

You do.

Well, just...

Well, just take some time, you know?

I mean, just 24 hours.
Please, Mind, Mind, Mind, please.

[SINGING]
Please, oh, please, oh, please

All right.

Tell you what, tell you what.
It's 11:59 now.

Because I like what you stand for
even when you're sitting,

I'll give you the extra minute
and make it midnight tomorrow night.

Okay, but I can't promise anything.

- Right.
- All right. Good night.

Good night. Remember, you changed
your mind about the wallpaper.

[HUMS]

MORK [ON RECORDING]:
Mork promo, take one.

You will marry Mork.

You love Mork. Mork loves you.

Mork is great.

He's a today kind of guy.

JAKE:
Lock up when you leave.

- Jake?
- Hmm?

Let's have a heart-to-heart talk.

You and I haven't had one
for a long time.

We never had one.

Well, then I guess we're overdue.

See, I have this
really important decision

that I have to make
in about two hours.

Now, logically, I know
what the answer should be,

but emotionally,
I feel exactly the opposite.

You've been around for a while.
What do you usually do?

Do you think with your head
or with your heart?

Mindy, a lot of people think of me

as just old Jake the cameraman,

that I care about nothing
except staying in focus

and going home early.

They think I don't care
about anybody else's problems

because nobody cares about mine.

Well, you know something?
They're right.

Never did like Old Jake.

Mork, what are you doing?

Mind, I've come
to sweep you off your feet.

- Oh, my God.
- Give me your foot. Here we go.

Ugh. Big lunch, Mind?

This is ridiculous.

No, it's romantic.
We're gonna ride off into the sunset.

The sun set four hours ago.

I guess we better haul it then.

- Mork...
- Mind, Mind, Mind.

Mork!

That's all right, Mind.
I'll catch the next one.

Well, you really topped yourself
that time, Mork.

Yeah, I guess you've never ridden a
pony through a car wash before, huh?

Boy, he scampered
when he hit that hot wax.

You haven't had a date like that
with an earthman.

You're right there.

Mork, it's almost midnight.
I think we should sit down and talk.

Mind, there's enough time
for the grand finale.

Oh, Mork, you don't need a finale.

Oh, I sure do, and you'll love this.

Put the tape in the tape recorder
down there, please.

- This one marked Last Ditch Effort?
MORK: That's it.

Oh, Mork, you've given me flowers
and perfume and horses. What's left?

Broadway! Hit it, Mind.

[BROADWAY MUSIC
PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

[SINGING] Got my top hat
Got my vest pressed

All I need now is the girl

Got my striped tie

Got my hopes high

Got the time and the place
And I've got rhythm

All I need now is the girl to go with

[IN NORMAL VOICE]
Hey.

Hey, ho.

Boy, they really screwed this game up
when they added the ball, Mind.

- Oh, no, Mork.
- Mind.

[SINGING]
You see this guy

This guy's in love with you

[IN NORMAL VOICE]
Seriously, where are you from?

[SINGING]
Yes, I'm in love

What do I do to make you mine?

[IN NORMAL VOICE]
You know it.

[SINGING]
Tell me now

Is it so?
Don't let me be the last to know

Because...

I want to be happy
But I won't be happy

Till I make you happy too

[IN NORMAL VOICE]
Oh, no, Mindy, no.

[SINGING] Life's really worth living
When you are mirth givin'

Why can't I give some to you?

[IN NORMAL VOICE]
You know it's true, baby.

Oh, Mork.

Did I close out of town?

Oh, Mork.

Before I met you,

the biggest choice I had to make
in my life

was whether to have my hair permed
or fix the cat.

This is the hardest decision
I've ever had to make.

Maybe the decision's
been made for you, Mind.

I mean, think about it.
I crossed five galaxies,

came to this little tiny planet and
out of all those people in the world,

you found me and we fell in love.

Coincidence? I say nay.

Maybe some infinite intelligence
in this cosmos

as we peer out,

realizes that we were meant
to be married

and all mankind.

I wish I could believe that.

I wish you could believe that too,
Mind.

I'll send by Exidor
to pick up my clothes.

Why? You don't have to go.

I don't want you to go.

You could go,
but the lease is in your name.

Just because we can't be married

doesn't mean we have to end
our relationship.

I mean, why can't we just go on
being the way we are?

I love you.

I couldn't stay here
knowing that you'll never be mine.

But it doesn't have to be like that.

If it were the other way around,
could you stay?

No.

Well, big kiss.

I know how easily you run down,
so don't skip breakfast.

And don't forget to take your Femiron.

MINDY: Mork.
- Yeah?

Goodbye.

Mork.

You don't want me to go, do you?

You can read minds too?

No, but I can read your face.

Oh, Mork, if I married you,

I'd be giving up any chance
I might have to have a normal life.

But if I lost you...

- Will you marry me?
- What?

Will you marry me?

This is so sudden.
I'll need some time.

MORK:
Mork calling Orson. Come in, Orson.

Mork calling Orson. Come in, Orson.

Mork calling Orson.
Come in, Your Battle of the Bulgeness.

ORSON: Mork.
- Sir.

ORSON: Do you always have to report
when I'm eating?

Well, sir, I could wait, but the Earth's
sun does have a limited lifespan.

ORSON: After that comment,
you'd better have an interesting report.

Well, sir, you're gonna decorate me
for this one.

You see, Mindy and I have signed up
for a full lifetime term

in the most noble
of all institutions, marriage.

ORSON:
What?

Sir?

Do I detect a note of jealousy
or are you coughing on a bone?

ORSON: Mork, no Orkan has entered
into a marriage since our dark ages.

You've broken one
of our most fundamental Orkan laws.

Correct the matter at once.

All right, sir.
I'll correct the problem. I quit.

I abdicate my post
for the woman I love.

ORSON:
Mork, you can't abdicate.

I'm giving you an order.

- Carry it out or else.
- Oh, yeah?

I'm marrying Mindy
and you just try and stop me.

[ELECTRICITY CRACKLING
AND MORK GRUNTING]

That's a nice try there, sir.

Don't you understand though?

On Earth when man and woman
love each other...

ORSON: Silence!
- Sir.

ORSON:
The matter is closed.

Until next week, Mork. Na-no.

Yeah, all right. Uh-huh.

The old silent treatment, eh?

I am staying right on this spot

until you let me marry Mindy.

I have patience. I can wait.

I once sat through
an entire Bobby Vinton concert. Right.

[HUMMING]

Ripped By mstoll