Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:18,085 --> 00:00:20,018
[ Oliver ]♪ Green Acres ♪
2
00:00:20,087 --> 00:00:22,220
♪ Is the place to be ♪
3
00:00:22,289 --> 00:00:26,091
♪ Farm livin' is the life for me ♪
4
00:00:26,160 --> 00:00:30,162
♪ Land spreadin' out so far and wide ♪
5
00:00:30,230 --> 00:00:33,932
♪ Keep Manhattan Just give me that countryside ♪
6
00:00:34,001 --> 00:00:38,002
[ Lisa ] ♪ New York is where I'd rather stay ♪
7
00:00:38,072 --> 00:00:42,174
♪ I get allergic smelling hay ♪
8
00:00:42,242 --> 00:00:45,677
♪ I just adore a penthouse view ♪
9
00:00:45,746 --> 00:00:48,881
♪ Darling, I love you but give me Park Avenue ♪
10
00:00:51,352 --> 00:00:53,418
♪ The chores ♪
11
00:00:53,487 --> 00:00:55,454
♪ The stores ♪
12
00:00:55,522 --> 00:00:58,423
- ♪ Fresh air ♪ - ♪ Times Square ♪
13
00:00:58,492 --> 00:01:02,828
- ♪ You are my wife ♪ - ♪ Good-bye, city life ♪
14
00:01:02,897 --> 00:01:06,731
[ Together ]♪ Green Acres, we are there ♪♪
15
00:01:19,146 --> 00:01:21,079
Oliver.
Mmm.
16
00:01:21,147 --> 00:01:23,881
Do you think we could--
Please. I'm thinking.
17
00:01:23,950 --> 00:01:26,184
How long is that
going to take you?
18
00:01:26,253 --> 00:01:28,253
I haven't
the faintest idea.
19
00:01:28,322 --> 00:01:31,089
Do you mind if I sit down
and watch you think?
20
00:01:31,157 --> 00:01:33,157
If you want to.
21
00:01:37,030 --> 00:01:38,963
Are you through
thinking yet?
22
00:01:39,032 --> 00:01:41,133
Uh, just be quiet.
23
00:01:41,201 --> 00:01:43,201
Yes, sir.
24
00:01:48,975 --> 00:01:50,975
[ Loud Crack ]
25
00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:55,947
Do you have to do that?
26
00:01:56,015 --> 00:01:58,116
You do if you want to
get the nut out.
27
00:01:58,184 --> 00:02:02,754
Yes, I'd like to
get the nut out. I'd like to
get her out of the room.
28
00:02:02,822 --> 00:02:05,123
Oliver, that wasn't
very nice.
29
00:02:05,192 --> 00:02:08,092
Lisa, I got a problem.
I'm trying to figure it out.
30
00:02:08,162 --> 00:02:10,595
- I got a problem too.
- Well, fine.
31
00:02:10,664 --> 00:02:13,198
You just sit there quietly,
and you figure out
your problem,
32
00:02:13,267 --> 00:02:15,433
and I'll sit here
and figure out mine.
33
00:02:15,502 --> 00:02:17,502
Yes, sir.
34
00:02:19,573 --> 00:02:21,573
[ Loud Scraping ]
35
00:02:24,678 --> 00:02:26,878
What are you doing?
36
00:02:26,946 --> 00:02:29,314
I am not crackling
walnuts.
37
00:02:29,383 --> 00:02:31,483
I thought you were gonna
think about your problem.
38
00:02:31,552 --> 00:02:33,485
- I solved it.
- Good.
39
00:02:33,554 --> 00:02:36,254
I decided not to ask you.
You see, that was the problem--
40
00:02:36,323 --> 00:02:38,623
whether I should ask you
or whether I shouldn't.
41
00:02:38,692 --> 00:02:42,594
- Ask what?
- What difference does it make
if I'm not going to ask you?
42
00:02:42,662 --> 00:02:44,662
Fine. Fine.
43
00:02:45,933 --> 00:02:47,866
What are you doing now?
44
00:02:47,935 --> 00:02:50,602
I'm tearing up the problem
I was going to ask you.
45
00:02:50,670 --> 00:02:52,637
What was it?
46
00:02:52,706 --> 00:02:55,874
An invitation from the princess
to visit her in Monte Carlo.
47
00:02:55,943 --> 00:02:59,044
Monte Carlo.
That's all I need.
48
00:02:59,113 --> 00:03:02,681
Oh? If you want to go,
I can paste it together again.
49
00:03:02,749 --> 00:03:04,816
I don't want to go.
50
00:03:04,884 --> 00:03:07,585
Oliver, what's bothering you?
51
00:03:07,654 --> 00:03:09,321
You mean besides you?
52
00:03:09,389 --> 00:03:12,024
If you tell me,
maybe I could help you.
53
00:03:12,092 --> 00:03:15,760
You know the old saying:
Two heads are better
than yours.
54
00:03:15,829 --> 00:03:20,432
Lisa, this is just
one of those problems
you can't help me with.
55
00:03:20,500 --> 00:03:22,901
Why not? You know
the other old saying:
56
00:03:22,969 --> 00:03:27,372
Behind every man
there is a good woman
standing in front of him.
57
00:03:27,441 --> 00:03:31,709
Oh, yes, yes, yes.
My aunt always
used to say that.
58
00:03:31,778 --> 00:03:33,778
Nutty Lulu.
59
00:03:33,847 --> 00:03:37,449
Well, as long as you know it,
then maybe I could help you.
60
00:03:37,517 --> 00:03:43,455
All right. My problem
is that I don't know what crops
to plant for next season.
61
00:03:43,524 --> 00:03:47,292
Well, that's easy.
Just don't plant
what you planted last season...
62
00:03:47,361 --> 00:03:49,294
because they were nowhere.
63
00:03:50,297 --> 00:03:52,230
I know that.
64
00:03:52,299 --> 00:03:56,000
You see how easy it is
once you talk it over?
65
00:03:56,070 --> 00:03:59,371
There must be something
I can plant that I can
make money on.
66
00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:03,241
Well, if you want to make money,
why don't we go to
Monte Carlo?
67
00:04:03,310 --> 00:04:06,411
Sure. Lose everything I have
on the roulette wheel.
68
00:04:06,480 --> 00:04:10,482
My mother has
a surefire system
for not losing at roulette.
69
00:04:10,550 --> 00:04:12,884
Do you want to know
what it is?
What?
70
00:04:12,953 --> 00:04:15,420
Shoot craps.
Bye.
71
00:04:18,658 --> 00:04:21,626
Look, fellers,
unless I get
your seed order today,
72
00:04:21,695 --> 00:04:23,628
I can't guarantee delivery.
73
00:04:23,697 --> 00:04:26,164
Don't rush us.
This takes a little thought.
74
00:04:26,233 --> 00:04:28,900
Oh, we can't stand
another year
like we had last year.
75
00:04:28,968 --> 00:04:32,170
- What was wrong with it?
- We all lost money.
76
00:04:32,238 --> 00:04:35,239
Oh. I thought that was
the year before.
77
00:04:35,309 --> 00:04:37,241
Morning, gentlemen.
78
00:04:37,311 --> 00:04:40,679
Morning, Mr. Douglas. Hey,
why don't you ask Mr. Douglas
what he's gonna plant?
79
00:04:40,747 --> 00:04:42,614
Why ask him?
He's a born loser.
80
00:04:42,683 --> 00:04:46,818
- Mr. Trendell--
- He ain't gonna plant nothin'.
He's goin' to Monte Carlo.
81
00:04:46,887 --> 00:04:50,155
- I'm not going to Monte Carlo.
- Where's that?
82
00:04:50,224 --> 00:04:52,957
- It's on the coast of France.
- Where's that?
83
00:04:53,027 --> 00:04:55,860
- It's--
- Well, you must be pretty
proud of yourself,
84
00:04:55,929 --> 00:04:58,363
runnin' off and desertin' us
when the ship is sinkin'.
85
00:04:58,432 --> 00:05:00,032
Ooh, you're goin' by ship?
86
00:05:00,100 --> 00:05:03,802
- I'm not goin' anywhere.
- We know that.
87
00:05:03,870 --> 00:05:08,172
Mr. Trendell--
Roy, why don't you leave
Mr. Douglas alone.
88
00:05:08,241 --> 00:05:10,174
Thank you.
Thank you.
89
00:05:10,243 --> 00:05:14,211
Uh, look, fellows.
I came in to ask you what crops
you're gonna plant this year.
90
00:05:14,280 --> 00:05:18,049
I might as well plant
corn again. That was
my best crop last year.
91
00:05:18,117 --> 00:05:20,352
Lost only six dollars
an acre on it.
92
00:05:20,420 --> 00:05:22,587
Well, then you better
put me down for alfalfa,
93
00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:24,856
'cause I only lost
four dollars an acre on that.
94
00:05:24,925 --> 00:05:26,991
Is that all?
95
00:05:27,060 --> 00:05:28,993
Well, then you better
change me to alfalfa.
96
00:05:29,063 --> 00:05:31,396
I'll plant that too.
97
00:05:31,465 --> 00:05:34,499
Gentlemen, gentlemen.
This is no way to plant--
98
00:05:34,568 --> 00:05:36,535
planting crops
you're gonna lose
money on.
99
00:05:36,603 --> 00:05:38,570
We're-- We're farming
to make money.
100
00:05:38,638 --> 00:05:41,839
Douglas, we can do without
your radical ideas.
101
00:05:41,908 --> 00:05:44,742
What's so radical
about making money?
102
00:05:44,811 --> 00:05:47,144
How much did you make
out of your farm last year?
103
00:05:47,213 --> 00:05:49,481
Well--
104
00:05:49,549 --> 00:05:53,017
- You see?
- Ah, that don't prove nothin'.
105
00:05:53,087 --> 00:05:55,420
He wouldn't make no money
even in a good year.
106
00:05:55,489 --> 00:05:57,655
Now see here, Mr. Ziffel.
107
00:05:57,724 --> 00:06:02,059
We're wastin' time. Make up your
mind what you're gonna plant,
and give me your seed orders.
108
00:06:02,128 --> 00:06:06,030
Well, I don't think
I'm gonna plant nothin'.
That way I won't get hurt.
109
00:06:06,100 --> 00:06:08,533
I'll go along with that.
110
00:06:08,602 --> 00:06:11,169
This is ridiculous.
111
00:06:11,238 --> 00:06:14,272
There must be something
we can plant
to make money from.
112
00:06:14,341 --> 00:06:16,341
You name it,
we'll plant it.
113
00:06:25,452 --> 00:06:29,187
What are you good for?
[ Hank ]Wouldn't you like to know?
114
00:06:29,256 --> 00:06:31,256
It's you.
115
00:06:31,325 --> 00:06:34,192
Yes. I didn't want to
interrupt you while you were
talking to the dirt.
116
00:06:34,261 --> 00:06:36,528
Mr. Kimball--
I had a cousin
that used to talk to dirt.
117
00:06:36,597 --> 00:06:39,331
Well, it wasn't dirt.
It was mud.
118
00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:42,501
He started when he was
a kid talking to sand
in the sandbox.
119
00:06:42,569 --> 00:06:44,603
Flunked kindergarten
six times in a row.
120
00:06:44,671 --> 00:06:48,540
- I was just thinking
out loud.
- What about?
121
00:06:48,609 --> 00:06:51,042
I was just wondering
what this soil is good for.
122
00:06:51,111 --> 00:06:53,111
Well--
[ Chuckles ]
123
00:06:53,180 --> 00:06:55,247
Why don't you ask it?
124
00:06:55,315 --> 00:06:57,449
Hello, little earth.
What are you good for?
125
00:06:57,518 --> 00:06:59,917
Mr. Kimball,
would you plea--
Shh! Maybe it'll answer.
126
00:06:59,986 --> 00:07:04,321
Mr. Kimball, the farmers
around here have
a serious problem.
127
00:07:04,390 --> 00:07:06,958
- They do? What is it?
- You.
128
00:07:07,027 --> 00:07:10,962
For a man that has
a handful of dirt,
that's pretty sarcastic.
129
00:07:11,031 --> 00:07:14,666
Mr. Kimball, you're our
county agent, aren't you?
130
00:07:14,735 --> 00:07:18,903
Do you realize that last year
every farmer in this valley
lost money?
131
00:07:18,972 --> 00:07:22,440
Well, there's a simple
solution to that:
Move out of the valley.
132
00:07:22,509 --> 00:07:24,943
We don't want to move.
133
00:07:25,011 --> 00:07:27,679
Then you're just gonna
have to get used to
losing money.
134
00:07:27,747 --> 00:07:30,915
- Anything else
I can help you with?
- You haven't helped me.
135
00:07:30,984 --> 00:07:34,018
Oh, come on.
Let's not pout.
136
00:07:34,087 --> 00:07:36,588
I realize how bad things
are for the people
around here,
137
00:07:36,657 --> 00:07:39,991
but this never would have
happened if they'd listened
to me in the first place.
138
00:07:41,528 --> 00:07:44,796
Come to think of it,
they did listen to me
in the first place.
139
00:07:44,864 --> 00:07:48,800
Mr. Kimball, this land
in this valley must be
good for growing something.
140
00:07:48,869 --> 00:07:50,635
- Oh, it is.
- What?
141
00:07:50,704 --> 00:07:55,173
Well, there was one farmer
round here that ended up
with $30,000 last year.
142
00:07:55,242 --> 00:07:57,441
- What did he plant?
- His uncle.
143
00:07:57,511 --> 00:07:59,677
He died and left him
$30,000.
144
00:07:59,746 --> 00:08:02,213
You mis--
145
00:08:02,282 --> 00:08:05,450
Look, Mr. Kimball, is there
any crop that would
grow well in this soil?
146
00:08:05,519 --> 00:08:07,552
Grapefruit.
147
00:08:07,621 --> 00:08:10,622
It isn't warm enough
for grapefruit.
148
00:08:10,690 --> 00:08:12,824
It isn't? Hmm.
149
00:08:12,892 --> 00:08:15,227
To think I had one
for breakfast this morning.
150
00:08:15,295 --> 00:08:19,964
Look, do you people keep
any records of what has been
grown here and a soil analysis?
151
00:08:20,033 --> 00:08:23,167
Yes. I think I have that
information over at the office.
152
00:08:23,236 --> 00:08:25,403
Would you get it for me?
153
00:08:25,471 --> 00:08:27,471
Get what?
154
00:08:27,541 --> 00:08:30,008
The records!
Oh. Yes, sir.
155
00:08:30,076 --> 00:08:32,911
I'll-- I'll run right over
and get 'em for you right now.
156
00:08:34,915 --> 00:08:37,415
[ Chuckles ]
I was going in
the wrong direction.
157
00:08:44,390 --> 00:08:46,324
Oliver.
Mmm.
158
00:08:46,392 --> 00:08:48,326
Are you still thinking?
159
00:08:48,394 --> 00:08:51,563
No. I'm going over
these reports
that Kimball sent over.
160
00:08:51,631 --> 00:08:53,631
Oh.
161
00:08:55,469 --> 00:08:59,604
What are you doing?
I'm trying to see if I set
the table for dinner.
162
00:08:59,673 --> 00:09:02,774
I don't think you did.
Oh. Thank you.
163
00:09:07,146 --> 00:09:09,514
Excuse me.
164
00:09:09,583 --> 00:09:11,683
Do you have to
do this now?
165
00:09:11,751 --> 00:09:15,186
You always get so mad
if dinner isn't
ready in time.
166
00:09:15,254 --> 00:09:19,891
Lisa, I would appreciate it
if you would just let me alone
for an hour or two.
167
00:09:19,960 --> 00:09:23,060
All right.
Would it bother you
if I start dinner now?
168
00:09:23,129 --> 00:09:26,531
Not if you're quiet.
I'll be as quiet
as a mouse.
169
00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:28,600
Fine.
170
00:09:28,668 --> 00:09:30,602
How quiet is a mouse?
171
00:09:30,670 --> 00:09:32,604
Lisa!
Sorry.
172
00:09:34,373 --> 00:09:36,373
[ Creaks ]
173
00:09:42,683 --> 00:09:45,082
Lisa, will you please--
174
00:09:45,151 --> 00:09:46,951
Hi.
175
00:09:47,020 --> 00:09:48,753
[ Door Slams ]
176
00:09:48,822 --> 00:09:50,988
Shh!
What's the matter?
177
00:09:51,057 --> 00:09:54,359
Has he got a hangover?
No. He's just grouchy.
178
00:09:54,428 --> 00:09:56,428
Is that why he threw
the drawer at you?
179
00:09:56,496 --> 00:09:58,696
Look, Eb.
180
00:10:00,667 --> 00:10:02,667
What are you doing, Dad?
181
00:10:02,736 --> 00:10:04,903
Eb, I'm not your dad.
182
00:10:04,971 --> 00:10:08,506
But if I were, oh, boy,
would I give it to you.
183
00:10:08,575 --> 00:10:10,808
What's this stuff?
Old records.
184
00:10:10,877 --> 00:10:13,344
Oh.
185
00:10:13,413 --> 00:10:16,313
Eb, p-- Will you
put that down?
186
00:10:16,382 --> 00:10:20,117
Hey. These are the records
of the old Carmichael place.
187
00:10:20,186 --> 00:10:22,454
I remember him
when I was a kid.
188
00:10:22,522 --> 00:10:26,290
Boy, he was a great farmer.
One year he made $28,000.
189
00:10:26,360 --> 00:10:28,325
- What did he plant?
- His aunt.
190
00:10:29,395 --> 00:10:31,796
Why do I keep asking
that question?
191
00:10:31,865 --> 00:10:34,866
I'd forgotten all about
Crazy Carmichael.
192
00:10:34,934 --> 00:10:36,868
They called him that
because every year...
193
00:10:36,936 --> 00:10:39,771
he'd plant 400 acres
of rutabagas,
but never could sell 'em.
194
00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:41,873
Why not?
Nobody knew what they were.
195
00:10:41,941 --> 00:10:44,709
- What are they?
- Oh, they're a kind of
a turnip.
196
00:10:44,778 --> 00:10:47,512
Boy, you never saw "rutabagers"
like old Crazy used to grow.
197
00:10:47,581 --> 00:10:51,349
- Some of them were this big.
- If you're looking
for your plate--
198
00:10:51,418 --> 00:10:54,185
No. I'm looking for
a Department of Agriculture
bulletin...
199
00:10:54,253 --> 00:10:56,354
that I saw here
on rutabagas.
200
00:10:56,422 --> 00:11:00,625
Oh. Here. Here we are.
"The Production of Turnips
and Rutabagas."
201
00:11:00,694 --> 00:11:05,597
"The soil:
Turnips thrive
on a fairly acid soil,
202
00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:08,800
but rutabagas have
a higher lime requirement."
203
00:11:08,869 --> 00:11:11,502
Isn't that interesting?
204
00:11:11,571 --> 00:11:13,605
According to this regional
soil analysis,
205
00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:17,041
the soil here
in this valley is very high
in the lime content.
206
00:11:17,110 --> 00:11:19,944
Oliver!
That's fascinating.
207
00:11:21,180 --> 00:11:24,749
- I've got an idea.
- From such a small kiss?
208
00:11:24,818 --> 00:11:29,854
No. I think I know a way
to solve the farming problem
around here.
209
00:11:34,260 --> 00:11:39,496
Gentlemen, uh, this was supposed
to be a meeting of all
the farmers in the valley.
210
00:11:39,565 --> 00:11:41,499
Well, you picked
a bad night.
211
00:11:41,567 --> 00:11:43,501
There's a big picture
on TV tonight,
212
00:11:43,569 --> 00:11:45,569
and everybody wanted to
stay home to see it.
213
00:11:45,639 --> 00:11:50,675
Yeah. Elizabeth the Queen,
starring Ruby Keeler
and Pinky Tomlin.
214
00:11:50,744 --> 00:11:53,111
This is very important.
215
00:11:53,179 --> 00:11:57,248
Whatever it is, let's get it
over with so we can go home, see
the last half of the picture.
216
00:11:57,316 --> 00:12:00,017
I'll try to be
as brief as possible.
217
00:12:00,086 --> 00:12:02,120
Well, you say you will,
but you won't.
218
00:12:02,188 --> 00:12:06,858
Gentlemen, how would you like
to make your farms pay off
this year?
219
00:12:06,926 --> 00:12:08,860
Well, that'd be great.
220
00:12:08,929 --> 00:12:11,095
I'll vote for that.
Me too.
Now can we go home?
221
00:12:11,164 --> 00:12:13,965
Wait, wait. Please.
Here. Sit down.
222
00:12:14,033 --> 00:12:15,967
I haven't explained
my idea yet.
223
00:12:16,035 --> 00:12:18,369
I knowed there's
a catch to it.
224
00:12:18,438 --> 00:12:20,905
Thank you, gentlemen.
225
00:12:20,974 --> 00:12:24,676
Now, I've been doing
research on the economy
of this valley,
226
00:12:24,744 --> 00:12:27,712
and there's one crop that
grows extremely well here:
227
00:12:27,781 --> 00:12:29,714
rutabagas.
228
00:12:29,783 --> 00:12:33,150
- Did you say rutabaga?
- That's right.
229
00:12:33,219 --> 00:12:36,120
And my suggestion is that
everybody in the valley
plant them.
230
00:12:36,189 --> 00:12:38,923
Are you any relation
to Crazy Carmichael?
231
00:12:38,992 --> 00:12:40,758
No, I'm not.
232
00:12:40,827 --> 00:12:43,361
Oh, we know we can
grow rutabagas here,
233
00:12:43,429 --> 00:12:45,997
but what's the point
in growin'
if we can't sell 'em?
234
00:12:46,065 --> 00:12:47,999
We can sell them.
235
00:12:48,068 --> 00:12:51,102
My idea is to create
a market for them.
236
00:12:51,170 --> 00:12:53,270
Look what Florida did
with oranges,
237
00:12:53,339 --> 00:12:56,107
Idaho with potatoes,
Washington with apples.
238
00:12:56,175 --> 00:12:58,642
I never knew Washington
ate apples.
239
00:12:58,712 --> 00:13:01,612
That isn't what--
240
00:13:01,681 --> 00:13:06,818
Look. What I'm proposing
is that we make this
a cooperative venture.
241
00:13:06,886 --> 00:13:10,855
We all plant rutabagas
and invest a small amount
of money in publicity...
242
00:13:10,924 --> 00:13:14,558
to show the consumer
that rutabagas are good
for 'em-- they're healthy.
243
00:13:14,627 --> 00:13:17,895
There are lots of inexpensive
meals you can cook with 'em.
Things like that.
244
00:13:17,964 --> 00:13:20,464
In other words,
we'll create a demand for them.
245
00:13:20,534 --> 00:13:24,601
- Well, I don't know.
- Well, you don't have to make
up your minds this moment.
246
00:13:24,670 --> 00:13:27,271
Good. Then we can see
what's left of the movie.
247
00:13:29,275 --> 00:13:32,143
Rutabagas.
Well, what's wrong
with the idea?
248
00:13:32,211 --> 00:13:35,479
- Douglas thought of it.
- It might work.
249
00:13:35,549 --> 00:13:37,849
But suppose it didn't work.
250
00:13:37,918 --> 00:13:42,720
This valley would be stuck
with 6,000 acres
of rutabagas.
251
00:13:42,789 --> 00:13:45,523
Imagine how that'd smell
on a hot day.
252
00:13:45,592 --> 00:13:47,792
But-- Yeah, but
if we create a market--
253
00:13:47,861 --> 00:13:50,561
Oh, hello there.
Hi, Mrs. Douglas.
254
00:13:50,630 --> 00:13:53,731
Please don't get up.
Oh, I can't.
I'm stuck to the chair.
255
00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:56,834
We were just talking about
your husband, Mrs. Douglas.
256
00:13:56,903 --> 00:13:59,837
Oh, he isn't Mrs. Douglas.
He's Mr. Douglas.
257
00:13:59,905 --> 00:14:02,806
Yeah, we was discussing
that crackpot idea of his.
258
00:14:02,876 --> 00:14:05,176
Which crackpot idea of his
was that?
259
00:14:05,245 --> 00:14:06,911
About the rutabagas.
260
00:14:06,980 --> 00:14:09,413
Well, I happen to think
Mr. Douglas has a good idea,
261
00:14:09,482 --> 00:14:11,849
to make the world
rutabaga-conscious.
262
00:14:11,918 --> 00:14:15,019
Most of the farmers around here
barely make a living out of
what they grow.
263
00:14:15,088 --> 00:14:19,156
So, if growin' rutabagas
and creatin' a market
for 'em will do it, I'm for it.
264
00:14:19,225 --> 00:14:21,926
You wouldn't talk like that
if we didn't owe you money.
265
00:14:21,995 --> 00:14:24,361
Well, it worked for Florida.
266
00:14:24,430 --> 00:14:27,398
They made the world
orange-conscious with their
Orange Bowl football game,
267
00:14:27,467 --> 00:14:29,400
their parade
and their orange queen.
268
00:14:29,469 --> 00:14:32,536
That's a good idea.
We could have the same here.
269
00:14:32,605 --> 00:14:35,672
We could have an Orange Bowl,
but with rutabagas,
270
00:14:35,741 --> 00:14:39,943
and we could have a Rose Parade
with a rutabaga float.
271
00:14:40,013 --> 00:14:42,580
Doggone. We could do that,
couldn't we?
272
00:14:42,649 --> 00:14:45,649
Well, now it's startin'
to make sense.
273
00:14:45,719 --> 00:14:48,086
Sure. If we all put
our minds to it,
274
00:14:48,154 --> 00:14:51,956
we could make Hooterville
the rutabaga capital
of the world.
275
00:14:58,598 --> 00:15:00,531
What did they say?
276
00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:03,735
They're going to have
the Rutabaga Bowl here,
277
00:15:03,803 --> 00:15:08,272
and they're going to have
a parade with rutabaga floats
and a rutabaga queen.
278
00:15:08,341 --> 00:15:11,042
Oh, they were putting you on.
279
00:15:11,110 --> 00:15:14,879
No. They're serious.
They all divided up
into committees.
280
00:15:14,948 --> 00:15:18,883
Now, Mr. Trendell
is in charge of getting
the football teams,
281
00:15:18,952 --> 00:15:23,554
and Mr. Kiley is going to
try to get one of the old
Rose Parade queens...
282
00:15:23,623 --> 00:15:25,957
to convert to rutabagas.
283
00:15:26,026 --> 00:15:28,926
And you're in charge of
the Rutabaga Bowl Ball.
284
00:15:28,995 --> 00:15:32,296
- The Rutabaga--
- They'd like to have that
at the White House.
285
00:15:32,365 --> 00:15:35,967
Oh. Well, I'll see
what I can do.
286
00:15:36,035 --> 00:15:39,303
Good. Now you're getting
into the spirit of things.
287
00:15:39,372 --> 00:15:41,672
Lisa, this is ridiculous.
288
00:15:41,740 --> 00:15:46,010
- You won't think that
when you watch it on TV.
- TV?
289
00:15:46,079 --> 00:15:48,179
That's Mr. Ziffel's committee.
290
00:15:48,247 --> 00:15:50,715
Hello? Hello?
291
00:15:50,784 --> 00:15:52,950
Sarah, are you gettin'
my number?
292
00:15:53,019 --> 00:15:55,419
Uh, Mr. Ziffel.
Just a minute.
293
00:15:55,488 --> 00:15:57,421
I'm callin' New York.
294
00:15:57,490 --> 00:15:59,957
Hello.
Is this CBS?
295
00:16:00,026 --> 00:16:04,862
Yeah. Well, I want to talk
to the fella that sends out
the color TV cameras.
296
00:16:04,931 --> 00:16:06,864
Mr. Ziffel.
Just a minute.
297
00:16:06,933 --> 00:16:11,035
Uh, I want to order about 12
of your best TV cameras.
298
00:16:11,104 --> 00:16:14,572
Six of 'em ought to have
the slow motion thing on it,
299
00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:17,374
and the other six
with the instant replay.
300
00:16:17,443 --> 00:16:20,578
- Mr. Ziffel.
- What's it for?
301
00:16:20,646 --> 00:16:24,948
Oh, it's for the football
game we're having here
in the Rutabaga Bowl.
302
00:16:25,017 --> 00:16:28,819
The football game
in the Rutabaga Bowl
here in Hooterville.
303
00:16:28,887 --> 00:16:32,789
Hooterville!
Hooter-- What?
304
00:16:32,858 --> 00:16:35,726
Here. Will you tell
that fella I ain't drunk?
305
00:16:35,795 --> 00:16:39,997
He's not drunk,
but he might just as well be.
306
00:16:40,066 --> 00:16:44,268
Now, what did you
hang up for? Now the cameras
won't be here in time.
307
00:16:44,337 --> 00:16:48,239
Cameras for what?
The football game
in the Rutabaga Bowl.
308
00:16:48,308 --> 00:16:50,842
Roy's out lining up
the teams now.
309
00:16:50,910 --> 00:16:54,545
Hello.
Is this the University
of Southern California?
310
00:16:54,613 --> 00:16:57,048
Oh, Mr. Trendell.
Didn't anybody
ever tell you to knock?
311
00:16:57,116 --> 00:16:59,050
The door was open.
Hello.
312
00:16:59,118 --> 00:17:01,852
I'd like to talk to
the fella in charge of
the football schedule.
313
00:17:01,921 --> 00:17:04,422
Uh, oh, no. Mr. Trendell,
you're wasting your time.
Hello.
314
00:17:04,490 --> 00:17:07,091
Are you in charge of
the football schedule
at USC?
315
00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:10,494
[ Laughs ]
Good. Now, how would you
like to have your team...
316
00:17:10,563 --> 00:17:13,497
meet the Hooterville Rockets
in the Rutabaga Bowl?
317
00:17:13,566 --> 00:17:15,499
The Ruta--
318
00:17:15,568 --> 00:17:19,136
Well, if that's the way
you feel, we'll get
somebody else.
319
00:17:19,205 --> 00:17:22,206
Hello, Sarah.
Get me Notre Dame University
in Indi--
320
00:17:22,275 --> 00:17:24,808
Never mind, Sarah.
Hang up.
321
00:17:24,877 --> 00:17:28,812
What did you do that for?
I'm trying to save you from
making a fool of yourself.
322
00:17:28,881 --> 00:17:31,215
There isn't gonna be
any Rutabaga Bowl.
323
00:17:31,284 --> 00:17:35,052
No? Then why is Newt calling
Sophia Loren to be
the rutabaga queen?
324
00:17:35,121 --> 00:17:38,589
Hello?
Uh, is this Rome, Italy?
325
00:17:38,657 --> 00:17:41,925
Well, I'd like to
talk to Sophie Loren.
326
00:17:41,994 --> 00:17:45,028
Her phone number?
Uh, just a second.
327
00:17:45,098 --> 00:17:47,298
Uh, uh, her number's...
328
00:17:47,366 --> 00:17:52,103
Colosseum, quattro, uno, uno, uno.
329
00:17:52,171 --> 00:17:54,171
Grazie.
330
00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:56,873
Mr. Kiley, you--
Oh. Hello.
331
00:17:56,942 --> 00:18:00,177
Sophie? Newt Kiley.
332
00:18:00,246 --> 00:18:02,379
Fine. How are you?
333
00:18:02,448 --> 00:18:04,448
Well, that's good.
334
00:18:04,517 --> 00:18:09,587
Say, how would you like
to be the rutabaga queen
here in Hooterville?
335
00:18:09,655 --> 00:18:11,955
Oh, I knew you would!
336
00:18:12,024 --> 00:18:14,358
Oh, I'll let you know
the date.
337
00:18:14,427 --> 00:18:16,427
Arrivederci, honey.
338
00:18:18,364 --> 00:18:21,765
What was it you wanted
to see me about,
Mr. Douglas?
339
00:18:21,834 --> 00:18:24,635
Nothing.
340
00:18:24,703 --> 00:18:26,703
Nothing.
341
00:18:29,008 --> 00:18:32,410
What's wrong with the people
of this community?
342
00:18:32,478 --> 00:18:36,313
I had a simple idea
about raising rutabagas.
343
00:18:36,382 --> 00:18:41,419
The next thing I know,
Ziffel is trying to get CBS
to send him color cameras,
344
00:18:41,487 --> 00:18:43,754
Trendell is trying to get
the USC football team...
345
00:18:43,822 --> 00:18:46,557
and Newt is calling Sophia Loren
to be a rutabaga queen.
346
00:18:46,625 --> 00:18:50,361
This is absurd.
That's what I told 'em,
but they get carried away.
347
00:18:50,430 --> 00:18:52,596
- They sure do.
- Yeah.
348
00:18:54,333 --> 00:18:56,467
Wonder why Ed Sullivan
hasn't called me back.
349
00:18:56,536 --> 00:18:59,437
- What?
- Well, I thought we oughta
do something sensible,
350
00:18:59,505 --> 00:19:02,506
so I called him about
buying 10 minutes of time
on his program.
351
00:19:02,575 --> 00:19:05,442
- Ten minutes--
- I didn't want him to do
anything fancy.
352
00:19:05,511 --> 00:19:07,444
Just talk about rutabagas.
353
00:19:07,513 --> 00:19:11,715
Look. Uh, why don't we call
this whole thing off?
354
00:19:11,784 --> 00:19:14,051
Includin' the balloon
ascension today?
355
00:19:14,120 --> 00:19:16,119
Yes. Including--
356
00:19:17,723 --> 00:19:19,990
- What balloon?
- Well, that was
Haney's committee.
357
00:19:20,058 --> 00:19:22,559
See, he's the only one
in the valley
that owns a balloon.
358
00:19:22,628 --> 00:19:24,561
He used to go up in it
at state fairs.
359
00:19:24,630 --> 00:19:27,298
This one I don't
understand at all.
360
00:19:27,366 --> 00:19:31,402
Well, you see, Haney's idea
was to fill the basket
full of rutabagas,
361
00:19:31,470 --> 00:19:34,205
send the balloon up,
and let it float over
the country...
362
00:19:34,274 --> 00:19:36,207
droppin' rutabagas as it goes.
363
00:19:36,276 --> 00:19:39,643
And Mr. Haney's gonna
go up in the balloon?
364
00:19:39,712 --> 00:19:43,414
No, no. He's not gonna
go up in it. He's selecting
some pretty girl to ride in it.
365
00:19:43,482 --> 00:19:47,951
What girl in her right mind
would go up in a balloon?
366
00:19:48,021 --> 00:19:52,023
Mr. Douglas. Mr. Douglas.
Guess who was elected
balloon queen.
367
00:19:56,129 --> 00:20:00,097
Uh, Mrs. Douglas,
have you ever flowed
in a balloon before?
368
00:20:00,165 --> 00:20:02,132
I don't think so.
369
00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:06,237
I was once locked into
the ladies' room on the top
of the Eiffel Tower.
370
00:20:06,305 --> 00:20:08,839
Well, balloon flyin'
is a little like that,
371
00:20:08,907 --> 00:20:11,542
except you're more
out in the open.
372
00:20:11,611 --> 00:20:14,111
Are you sure this is safe,
Mr. Haney?
373
00:20:14,179 --> 00:20:17,848
- Yes, ma'am.
- Suppose you get a leak
in the bag?
374
00:20:17,917 --> 00:20:21,419
You just call the Auto Club,
375
00:20:21,487 --> 00:20:25,256
and they'll send
somebody up to fix it.
376
00:20:25,325 --> 00:20:29,393
Now, as soon as
we release the balloon,
it'll go straight up,
377
00:20:29,462 --> 00:20:34,698
and then the prevailin'
winds will just carry it
across the country.
378
00:20:34,767 --> 00:20:38,869
And every time you fly over
a likely-lookin' town or city,
379
00:20:38,938 --> 00:20:40,871
drop a few "rutabagers."
380
00:20:40,940 --> 00:20:43,741
There's a tag on each one...
381
00:20:43,809 --> 00:20:47,511
that says
"Eat Hooterville Rutabagas."
382
00:20:47,580 --> 00:20:51,047
Now, these are actually
Pixley rutabagas,
383
00:20:51,116 --> 00:20:55,452
but by the time the orders
start comin' in,
we'll be growin' our own.
384
00:20:55,521 --> 00:20:57,321
How do I get down?
385
00:20:57,390 --> 00:20:58,889
Just pull that rope.
386
00:20:58,958 --> 00:21:03,961
I'd pull it as soon
as you get over, uh,
Anaheim, "Californy."
387
00:21:04,030 --> 00:21:06,563
Uh, there ain't no point
in goin' any further west...
388
00:21:06,632 --> 00:21:12,169
'cause, uh, I don't think
there's much of
a rutabaga market in Hawaii.
389
00:21:12,238 --> 00:21:15,272
Anything else
I should know?
No.
390
00:21:15,341 --> 00:21:18,009
Well, then let's get
the show on the road.
391
00:21:18,077 --> 00:21:20,844
Stand back, everybody!
392
00:21:20,913 --> 00:21:23,680
Lisa!
393
00:21:23,749 --> 00:21:25,682
Lisa!
394
00:21:25,751 --> 00:21:27,785
Have a good trip,
Mrs. Douglas.
395
00:21:27,853 --> 00:21:30,187
Lisa! Lisa!
Lisa, come back!
396
00:21:30,255 --> 00:21:32,956
Pick me up in Anaheim.
397
00:21:35,661 --> 00:21:37,794
Lisa, come down. Lisa!
398
00:21:40,365 --> 00:21:43,600
Eat "Hootersville"
rutabagas.
399
00:21:47,607 --> 00:21:50,307
Lisa, come on down!
400
00:21:51,944 --> 00:21:55,279
Eat "Hootersville"
rutabagas.
401
00:21:57,550 --> 00:22:00,484
Eat Hootersville
rutabagas.
402
00:22:00,553 --> 00:22:03,354
Eat Hootersville
rutabagas.
403
00:22:05,358 --> 00:22:07,691
Eat Hootersville
rutabagas.
404
00:22:07,760 --> 00:22:10,961
Eat Hootersville
rutabagas.
405
00:22:12,398 --> 00:22:15,466
Fighter command headquarters.
Major Boland.
406
00:22:15,535 --> 00:22:18,902
What?
Somebody's bombing Denver?
407
00:22:20,306 --> 00:22:22,372
- Scramble. Scramble.
- [ Alarm Blaring ]
408
00:22:29,515 --> 00:22:31,448
Oliver.
409
00:22:31,517 --> 00:22:33,950
What?
You thinking?
410
00:22:34,019 --> 00:22:37,321
Yes.
What about?
411
00:22:37,390 --> 00:22:39,390
I'd rather not say.
412
00:22:44,063 --> 00:22:46,797
Do you mind
if I sit down
and watch you think?
413
00:22:46,865 --> 00:22:48,865
I'd rather you didn't.
414
00:22:48,934 --> 00:22:51,001
You're still bugged
about the balloon.
415
00:22:51,069 --> 00:22:53,971
Oh, no, I'm not.
416
00:22:54,039 --> 00:22:58,509
But that was
the most stupid thing
you've ever done.
417
00:22:58,578 --> 00:23:01,712
That's all you've said
ever since I came home.
418
00:23:01,780 --> 00:23:06,550
And I'll keep on saying it.
That was the most stupid thing
you've ever done.
419
00:23:06,619 --> 00:23:08,119
I'm sorry.
420
00:23:08,187 --> 00:23:10,987
Do you realize
you could have been killed?
421
00:23:11,056 --> 00:23:13,290
They almost shot you down
over Denver.
422
00:23:13,359 --> 00:23:18,028
Well, it's a nice place
to visit, but I wouldn't
want to be shot down there.
423
00:23:18,096 --> 00:23:20,897
Lisa, I nearly
went out of my mind.
424
00:23:20,966 --> 00:23:25,402
I'm sorry, but-- but everybody
said you had such a good idea
with the rutabagas,
425
00:23:25,470 --> 00:23:27,404
and I was just
trying to help you.
426
00:23:27,472 --> 00:23:29,740
Well, I appreciate that.
427
00:23:29,808 --> 00:23:34,711
But that was the most stupid
thing you've ever done.
428
00:23:34,780 --> 00:23:39,883
Well, I guess I've done
a lot of stupid things
in my life,
429
00:23:39,952 --> 00:23:43,119
but I did one smart thing--
when I married you.
430
00:23:43,188 --> 00:23:46,222
- I agree.
- Where would I be
without you?
431
00:23:46,291 --> 00:23:48,225
Floating over Denver.
432
00:23:48,293 --> 00:23:51,462
Maybe I could help
to take your mind off it.
433
00:23:51,530 --> 00:23:53,530
How?
434
00:23:53,599 --> 00:23:55,699
I could sit on
your lap.
435
00:23:57,335 --> 00:24:01,972
Ooh. How did they get
that balloon off the ground?
436
00:24:02,041 --> 00:24:04,875
That did it.
Lisa, please.
I'm only kidding.
437
00:24:04,944 --> 00:24:08,979
This has been a nightmare.
Let's just forget about
the whole thing.
438
00:24:09,048 --> 00:24:11,281
[ Knocking ]
439
00:24:11,349 --> 00:24:14,184
- Come in.
- Mr. Douglas?
440
00:24:14,253 --> 00:24:16,320
- Yes.
- I'm from CBS.
441
00:24:16,389 --> 00:24:18,522
I have the 12 color cameras
you ordered for
the Rutabaga Bowl.
442
00:24:18,591 --> 00:24:21,992
- What?
- Six slow motion.
Six instant replay.
443
00:24:23,062 --> 00:24:24,995
Oliver.
What?
444
00:24:25,064 --> 00:24:27,731
You want to go for
a balloon ride?
445
00:25:05,538 --> 00:25:08,071
[ Lisa ] This has beena Filmways presentation,darling.
40314
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.