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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:18,085 --> 00:00:20,018 [ Oliver ] ♪ Green Acres ♪ 2 00:00:20,087 --> 00:00:22,220 ♪ Is the place to be ♪ 3 00:00:22,289 --> 00:00:26,091 ♪ Farm livin' is the life for me ♪ 4 00:00:26,160 --> 00:00:30,162 ♪ Land spreadin' out so far and wide ♪ 5 00:00:30,230 --> 00:00:33,932 ♪ Keep Manhattan Just give me that countryside ♪ 6 00:00:34,001 --> 00:00:38,002 [ Lisa ] ♪ New York is where I'd rather stay ♪ 7 00:00:38,072 --> 00:00:42,174 ♪ I get allergic smelling hay ♪ 8 00:00:42,242 --> 00:00:45,677 ♪ I just adore a penthouse view ♪ 9 00:00:45,746 --> 00:00:48,881 ♪ Darling, I love you but give me Park Avenue ♪ 10 00:00:51,352 --> 00:00:53,418 ♪ The chores ♪ 11 00:00:53,487 --> 00:00:55,454 ♪ The stores ♪ 12 00:00:55,522 --> 00:00:58,423 - ♪ Fresh air ♪ - ♪ Times Square ♪ 13 00:00:58,492 --> 00:01:02,828 - ♪ You are my wife ♪ - ♪ Good-bye, city life ♪ 14 00:01:02,897 --> 00:01:06,731 [ Together ] ♪ Green Acres, we are there ♪♪ 15 00:01:19,146 --> 00:01:21,079 Oliver. Mmm. 16 00:01:21,147 --> 00:01:23,881 Do you think we could-- Please. I'm thinking. 17 00:01:23,950 --> 00:01:26,184 How long is that going to take you? 18 00:01:26,253 --> 00:01:28,253 I haven't the faintest idea. 19 00:01:28,322 --> 00:01:31,089 Do you mind if I sit down and watch you think? 20 00:01:31,157 --> 00:01:33,157 If you want to. 21 00:01:37,030 --> 00:01:38,963 Are you through thinking yet? 22 00:01:39,032 --> 00:01:41,133 Uh, just be quiet. 23 00:01:41,201 --> 00:01:43,201 Yes, sir. 24 00:01:48,975 --> 00:01:50,975 [ Loud Crack ] 25 00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:55,947 Do you have to do that? 26 00:01:56,015 --> 00:01:58,116 You do if you want to get the nut out. 27 00:01:58,184 --> 00:02:02,754 Yes, I'd like to get the nut out. I'd like to get her out of the room. 28 00:02:02,822 --> 00:02:05,123 Oliver, that wasn't very nice. 29 00:02:05,192 --> 00:02:08,092 Lisa, I got a problem. I'm trying to figure it out. 30 00:02:08,162 --> 00:02:10,595 - I got a problem too. - Well, fine. 31 00:02:10,664 --> 00:02:13,198 You just sit there quietly, and you figure out your problem, 32 00:02:13,267 --> 00:02:15,433 and I'll sit here and figure out mine. 33 00:02:15,502 --> 00:02:17,502 Yes, sir. 34 00:02:19,573 --> 00:02:21,573 [ Loud Scraping ] 35 00:02:24,678 --> 00:02:26,878 What are you doing? 36 00:02:26,946 --> 00:02:29,314 I am not crackling walnuts. 37 00:02:29,383 --> 00:02:31,483 I thought you were gonna think about your problem. 38 00:02:31,552 --> 00:02:33,485 - I solved it. - Good. 39 00:02:33,554 --> 00:02:36,254 I decided not to ask you. You see, that was the problem-- 40 00:02:36,323 --> 00:02:38,623 whether I should ask you or whether I shouldn't. 41 00:02:38,692 --> 00:02:42,594 - Ask what? - What difference does it make if I'm not going to ask you? 42 00:02:42,662 --> 00:02:44,662 Fine. Fine. 43 00:02:45,933 --> 00:02:47,866 What are you doing now? 44 00:02:47,935 --> 00:02:50,602 I'm tearing up the problem I was going to ask you. 45 00:02:50,670 --> 00:02:52,637 What was it? 46 00:02:52,706 --> 00:02:55,874 An invitation from the princess to visit her in Monte Carlo. 47 00:02:55,943 --> 00:02:59,044 Monte Carlo. That's all I need. 48 00:02:59,113 --> 00:03:02,681 Oh? If you want to go, I can paste it together again. 49 00:03:02,749 --> 00:03:04,816 I don't want to go. 50 00:03:04,884 --> 00:03:07,585 Oliver, what's bothering you? 51 00:03:07,654 --> 00:03:09,321 You mean besides you? 52 00:03:09,389 --> 00:03:12,024 If you tell me, maybe I could help you. 53 00:03:12,092 --> 00:03:15,760 You know the old saying: Two heads are better than yours. 54 00:03:15,829 --> 00:03:20,432 Lisa, this is just one of those problems you can't help me with. 55 00:03:20,500 --> 00:03:22,901 Why not? You know the other old saying: 56 00:03:22,969 --> 00:03:27,372 Behind every man there is a good woman standing in front of him. 57 00:03:27,441 --> 00:03:31,709 Oh, yes, yes, yes. My aunt always used to say that. 58 00:03:31,778 --> 00:03:33,778 Nutty Lulu. 59 00:03:33,847 --> 00:03:37,449 Well, as long as you know it, then maybe I could help you. 60 00:03:37,517 --> 00:03:43,455 All right. My problem is that I don't know what crops to plant for next season. 61 00:03:43,524 --> 00:03:47,292 Well, that's easy. Just don't plant what you planted last season... 62 00:03:47,361 --> 00:03:49,294 because they were nowhere. 63 00:03:50,297 --> 00:03:52,230 I know that. 64 00:03:52,299 --> 00:03:56,000 You see how easy it is once you talk it over? 65 00:03:56,070 --> 00:03:59,371 There must be something I can plant that I can make money on. 66 00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:03,241 Well, if you want to make money, why don't we go to Monte Carlo? 67 00:04:03,310 --> 00:04:06,411 Sure. Lose everything I have on the roulette wheel. 68 00:04:06,480 --> 00:04:10,482 My mother has a surefire system for not losing at roulette. 69 00:04:10,550 --> 00:04:12,884 Do you want to know what it is? What? 70 00:04:12,953 --> 00:04:15,420 Shoot craps. Bye. 71 00:04:18,658 --> 00:04:21,626 Look, fellers, unless I get your seed order today, 72 00:04:21,695 --> 00:04:23,628 I can't guarantee delivery. 73 00:04:23,697 --> 00:04:26,164 Don't rush us. This takes a little thought. 74 00:04:26,233 --> 00:04:28,900 Oh, we can't stand another year like we had last year. 75 00:04:28,968 --> 00:04:32,170 - What was wrong with it? - We all lost money. 76 00:04:32,238 --> 00:04:35,239 Oh. I thought that was the year before. 77 00:04:35,309 --> 00:04:37,241 Morning, gentlemen. 78 00:04:37,311 --> 00:04:40,679 Morning, Mr. Douglas. Hey, why don't you ask Mr. Douglas what he's gonna plant? 79 00:04:40,747 --> 00:04:42,614 Why ask him? He's a born loser. 80 00:04:42,683 --> 00:04:46,818 - Mr. Trendell-- - He ain't gonna plant nothin'. He's goin' to Monte Carlo. 81 00:04:46,887 --> 00:04:50,155 - I'm not going to Monte Carlo. - Where's that? 82 00:04:50,224 --> 00:04:52,957 - It's on the coast of France. - Where's that? 83 00:04:53,027 --> 00:04:55,860 - It's-- - Well, you must be pretty proud of yourself, 84 00:04:55,929 --> 00:04:58,363 runnin' off and desertin' us when the ship is sinkin'. 85 00:04:58,432 --> 00:05:00,032 Ooh, you're goin' by ship? 86 00:05:00,100 --> 00:05:03,802 - I'm not goin' anywhere. - We know that. 87 00:05:03,870 --> 00:05:08,172 Mr. Trendell-- Roy, why don't you leave Mr. Douglas alone. 88 00:05:08,241 --> 00:05:10,174 Thank you. Thank you. 89 00:05:10,243 --> 00:05:14,211 Uh, look, fellows. I came in to ask you what crops you're gonna plant this year. 90 00:05:14,280 --> 00:05:18,049 I might as well plant corn again. That was my best crop last year. 91 00:05:18,117 --> 00:05:20,352 Lost only six dollars an acre on it. 92 00:05:20,420 --> 00:05:22,587 Well, then you better put me down for alfalfa, 93 00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:24,856 'cause I only lost four dollars an acre on that. 94 00:05:24,925 --> 00:05:26,991 Is that all? 95 00:05:27,060 --> 00:05:28,993 Well, then you better change me to alfalfa. 96 00:05:29,063 --> 00:05:31,396 I'll plant that too. 97 00:05:31,465 --> 00:05:34,499 Gentlemen, gentlemen. This is no way to plant-- 98 00:05:34,568 --> 00:05:36,535 planting crops you're gonna lose money on. 99 00:05:36,603 --> 00:05:38,570 We're-- We're farming to make money. 100 00:05:38,638 --> 00:05:41,839 Douglas, we can do without your radical ideas. 101 00:05:41,908 --> 00:05:44,742 What's so radical about making money? 102 00:05:44,811 --> 00:05:47,144 How much did you make out of your farm last year? 103 00:05:47,213 --> 00:05:49,481 Well-- 104 00:05:49,549 --> 00:05:53,017 - You see? - Ah, that don't prove nothin'. 105 00:05:53,087 --> 00:05:55,420 He wouldn't make no money even in a good year. 106 00:05:55,489 --> 00:05:57,655 Now see here, Mr. Ziffel. 107 00:05:57,724 --> 00:06:02,059 We're wastin' time. Make up your mind what you're gonna plant, and give me your seed orders. 108 00:06:02,128 --> 00:06:06,030 Well, I don't think I'm gonna plant nothin'. That way I won't get hurt. 109 00:06:06,100 --> 00:06:08,533 I'll go along with that. 110 00:06:08,602 --> 00:06:11,169 This is ridiculous. 111 00:06:11,238 --> 00:06:14,272 There must be something we can plant to make money from. 112 00:06:14,341 --> 00:06:16,341 You name it, we'll plant it. 113 00:06:25,452 --> 00:06:29,187 What are you good for? [ Hank ] Wouldn't you like to know? 114 00:06:29,256 --> 00:06:31,256 It's you. 115 00:06:31,325 --> 00:06:34,192 Yes. I didn't want to interrupt you while you were talking to the dirt. 116 00:06:34,261 --> 00:06:36,528 Mr. Kimball-- I had a cousin that used to talk to dirt. 117 00:06:36,597 --> 00:06:39,331 Well, it wasn't dirt. It was mud. 118 00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:42,501 He started when he was a kid talking to sand in the sandbox. 119 00:06:42,569 --> 00:06:44,603 Flunked kindergarten six times in a row. 120 00:06:44,671 --> 00:06:48,540 - I was just thinking out loud. - What about? 121 00:06:48,609 --> 00:06:51,042 I was just wondering what this soil is good for. 122 00:06:51,111 --> 00:06:53,111 Well-- [ Chuckles ] 123 00:06:53,180 --> 00:06:55,247 Why don't you ask it? 124 00:06:55,315 --> 00:06:57,449 Hello, little earth. What are you good for? 125 00:06:57,518 --> 00:06:59,917 Mr. Kimball, would you plea-- Shh! Maybe it'll answer. 126 00:06:59,986 --> 00:07:04,321 Mr. Kimball, the farmers around here have a serious problem. 127 00:07:04,390 --> 00:07:06,958 - They do? What is it? - You. 128 00:07:07,027 --> 00:07:10,962 For a man that has a handful of dirt, that's pretty sarcastic. 129 00:07:11,031 --> 00:07:14,666 Mr. Kimball, you're our county agent, aren't you? 130 00:07:14,735 --> 00:07:18,903 Do you realize that last year every farmer in this valley lost money? 131 00:07:18,972 --> 00:07:22,440 Well, there's a simple solution to that: Move out of the valley. 132 00:07:22,509 --> 00:07:24,943 We don't want to move. 133 00:07:25,011 --> 00:07:27,679 Then you're just gonna have to get used to losing money. 134 00:07:27,747 --> 00:07:30,915 - Anything else I can help you with? - You haven't helped me. 135 00:07:30,984 --> 00:07:34,018 Oh, come on. Let's not pout. 136 00:07:34,087 --> 00:07:36,588 I realize how bad things are for the people around here, 137 00:07:36,657 --> 00:07:39,991 but this never would have happened if they'd listened to me in the first place. 138 00:07:41,528 --> 00:07:44,796 Come to think of it, they did listen to me in the first place. 139 00:07:44,864 --> 00:07:48,800 Mr. Kimball, this land in this valley must be good for growing something. 140 00:07:48,869 --> 00:07:50,635 - Oh, it is. - What? 141 00:07:50,704 --> 00:07:55,173 Well, there was one farmer round here that ended up with $30,000 last year. 142 00:07:55,242 --> 00:07:57,441 - What did he plant? - His uncle. 143 00:07:57,511 --> 00:07:59,677 He died and left him $30,000. 144 00:07:59,746 --> 00:08:02,213 You mis-- 145 00:08:02,282 --> 00:08:05,450 Look, Mr. Kimball, is there any crop that would grow well in this soil? 146 00:08:05,519 --> 00:08:07,552 Grapefruit. 147 00:08:07,621 --> 00:08:10,622 It isn't warm enough for grapefruit. 148 00:08:10,690 --> 00:08:12,824 It isn't? Hmm. 149 00:08:12,892 --> 00:08:15,227 To think I had one for breakfast this morning. 150 00:08:15,295 --> 00:08:19,964 Look, do you people keep any records of what has been grown here and a soil analysis? 151 00:08:20,033 --> 00:08:23,167 Yes. I think I have that information over at the office. 152 00:08:23,236 --> 00:08:25,403 Would you get it for me? 153 00:08:25,471 --> 00:08:27,471 Get what? 154 00:08:27,541 --> 00:08:30,008 The records! Oh. Yes, sir. 155 00:08:30,076 --> 00:08:32,911 I'll-- I'll run right over and get 'em for you right now. 156 00:08:34,915 --> 00:08:37,415 [ Chuckles ] I was going in the wrong direction. 157 00:08:44,390 --> 00:08:46,324 Oliver. Mmm. 158 00:08:46,392 --> 00:08:48,326 Are you still thinking? 159 00:08:48,394 --> 00:08:51,563 No. I'm going over these reports that Kimball sent over. 160 00:08:51,631 --> 00:08:53,631 Oh. 161 00:08:55,469 --> 00:08:59,604 What are you doing? I'm trying to see if I set the table for dinner. 162 00:08:59,673 --> 00:09:02,774 I don't think you did. Oh. Thank you. 163 00:09:07,146 --> 00:09:09,514 Excuse me. 164 00:09:09,583 --> 00:09:11,683 Do you have to do this now? 165 00:09:11,751 --> 00:09:15,186 You always get so mad if dinner isn't ready in time. 166 00:09:15,254 --> 00:09:19,891 Lisa, I would appreciate it if you would just let me alone for an hour or two. 167 00:09:19,960 --> 00:09:23,060 All right. Would it bother you if I start dinner now? 168 00:09:23,129 --> 00:09:26,531 Not if you're quiet. I'll be as quiet as a mouse. 169 00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:28,600 Fine. 170 00:09:28,668 --> 00:09:30,602 How quiet is a mouse? 171 00:09:30,670 --> 00:09:32,604 Lisa! Sorry. 172 00:09:34,373 --> 00:09:36,373 [ Creaks ] 173 00:09:42,683 --> 00:09:45,082 Lisa, will you please-- 174 00:09:45,151 --> 00:09:46,951 Hi. 175 00:09:47,020 --> 00:09:48,753 [ Door Slams ] 176 00:09:48,822 --> 00:09:50,988 Shh! What's the matter? 177 00:09:51,057 --> 00:09:54,359 Has he got a hangover? No. He's just grouchy. 178 00:09:54,428 --> 00:09:56,428 Is that why he threw the drawer at you? 179 00:09:56,496 --> 00:09:58,696 Look, Eb. 180 00:10:00,667 --> 00:10:02,667 What are you doing, Dad? 181 00:10:02,736 --> 00:10:04,903 Eb, I'm not your dad. 182 00:10:04,971 --> 00:10:08,506 But if I were, oh, boy, would I give it to you. 183 00:10:08,575 --> 00:10:10,808 What's this stuff? Old records. 184 00:10:10,877 --> 00:10:13,344 Oh. 185 00:10:13,413 --> 00:10:16,313 Eb, p-- Will you put that down? 186 00:10:16,382 --> 00:10:20,117 Hey. These are the records of the old Carmichael place. 187 00:10:20,186 --> 00:10:22,454 I remember him when I was a kid. 188 00:10:22,522 --> 00:10:26,290 Boy, he was a great farmer. One year he made $28,000. 189 00:10:26,360 --> 00:10:28,325 - What did he plant? - His aunt. 190 00:10:29,395 --> 00:10:31,796 Why do I keep asking that question? 191 00:10:31,865 --> 00:10:34,866 I'd forgotten all about Crazy Carmichael. 192 00:10:34,934 --> 00:10:36,868 They called him that because every year... 193 00:10:36,936 --> 00:10:39,771 he'd plant 400 acres of rutabagas, but never could sell 'em. 194 00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:41,873 Why not? Nobody knew what they were. 195 00:10:41,941 --> 00:10:44,709 - What are they? - Oh, they're a kind of a turnip. 196 00:10:44,778 --> 00:10:47,512 Boy, you never saw "rutabagers" like old Crazy used to grow. 197 00:10:47,581 --> 00:10:51,349 - Some of them were this big. - If you're looking for your plate-- 198 00:10:51,418 --> 00:10:54,185 No. I'm looking for a Department of Agriculture bulletin... 199 00:10:54,253 --> 00:10:56,354 that I saw here on rutabagas. 200 00:10:56,422 --> 00:11:00,625 Oh. Here. Here we are. "The Production of Turnips and Rutabagas." 201 00:11:00,694 --> 00:11:05,597 "The soil: Turnips thrive on a fairly acid soil, 202 00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:08,800 but rutabagas have a higher lime requirement." 203 00:11:08,869 --> 00:11:11,502 Isn't that interesting? 204 00:11:11,571 --> 00:11:13,605 According to this regional soil analysis, 205 00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:17,041 the soil here in this valley is very high in the lime content. 206 00:11:17,110 --> 00:11:19,944 Oliver! That's fascinating. 207 00:11:21,180 --> 00:11:24,749 - I've got an idea. - From such a small kiss? 208 00:11:24,818 --> 00:11:29,854 No. I think I know a way to solve the farming problem around here. 209 00:11:34,260 --> 00:11:39,496 Gentlemen, uh, this was supposed to be a meeting of all the farmers in the valley. 210 00:11:39,565 --> 00:11:41,499 Well, you picked a bad night. 211 00:11:41,567 --> 00:11:43,501 There's a big picture on TV tonight, 212 00:11:43,569 --> 00:11:45,569 and everybody wanted to stay home to see it. 213 00:11:45,639 --> 00:11:50,675 Yeah. Elizabeth the Queen, starring Ruby Keeler and Pinky Tomlin. 214 00:11:50,744 --> 00:11:53,111 This is very important. 215 00:11:53,179 --> 00:11:57,248 Whatever it is, let's get it over with so we can go home, see the last half of the picture. 216 00:11:57,316 --> 00:12:00,017 I'll try to be as brief as possible. 217 00:12:00,086 --> 00:12:02,120 Well, you say you will, but you won't. 218 00:12:02,188 --> 00:12:06,858 Gentlemen, how would you like to make your farms pay off this year? 219 00:12:06,926 --> 00:12:08,860 Well, that'd be great. 220 00:12:08,929 --> 00:12:11,095 I'll vote for that. Me too. Now can we go home? 221 00:12:11,164 --> 00:12:13,965 Wait, wait. Please. Here. Sit down. 222 00:12:14,033 --> 00:12:15,967 I haven't explained my idea yet. 223 00:12:16,035 --> 00:12:18,369 I knowed there's a catch to it. 224 00:12:18,438 --> 00:12:20,905 Thank you, gentlemen. 225 00:12:20,974 --> 00:12:24,676 Now, I've been doing research on the economy of this valley, 226 00:12:24,744 --> 00:12:27,712 and there's one crop that grows extremely well here: 227 00:12:27,781 --> 00:12:29,714 rutabagas. 228 00:12:29,783 --> 00:12:33,150 - Did you say rutabaga? - That's right. 229 00:12:33,219 --> 00:12:36,120 And my suggestion is that everybody in the valley plant them. 230 00:12:36,189 --> 00:12:38,923 Are you any relation to Crazy Carmichael? 231 00:12:38,992 --> 00:12:40,758 No, I'm not. 232 00:12:40,827 --> 00:12:43,361 Oh, we know we can grow rutabagas here, 233 00:12:43,429 --> 00:12:45,997 but what's the point in growin' if we can't sell 'em? 234 00:12:46,065 --> 00:12:47,999 We can sell them. 235 00:12:48,068 --> 00:12:51,102 My idea is to create a market for them. 236 00:12:51,170 --> 00:12:53,270 Look what Florida did with oranges, 237 00:12:53,339 --> 00:12:56,107 Idaho with potatoes, Washington with apples. 238 00:12:56,175 --> 00:12:58,642 I never knew Washington ate apples. 239 00:12:58,712 --> 00:13:01,612 That isn't what-- 240 00:13:01,681 --> 00:13:06,818 Look. What I'm proposing is that we make this a cooperative venture. 241 00:13:06,886 --> 00:13:10,855 We all plant rutabagas and invest a small amount of money in publicity... 242 00:13:10,924 --> 00:13:14,558 to show the consumer that rutabagas are good for 'em-- they're healthy. 243 00:13:14,627 --> 00:13:17,895 There are lots of inexpensive meals you can cook with 'em. Things like that. 244 00:13:17,964 --> 00:13:20,464 In other words, we'll create a demand for them. 245 00:13:20,534 --> 00:13:24,601 - Well, I don't know. - Well, you don't have to make up your minds this moment. 246 00:13:24,670 --> 00:13:27,271 Good. Then we can see what's left of the movie. 247 00:13:29,275 --> 00:13:32,143 Rutabagas. Well, what's wrong with the idea? 248 00:13:32,211 --> 00:13:35,479 - Douglas thought of it. - It might work. 249 00:13:35,549 --> 00:13:37,849 But suppose it didn't work. 250 00:13:37,918 --> 00:13:42,720 This valley would be stuck with 6,000 acres of rutabagas. 251 00:13:42,789 --> 00:13:45,523 Imagine how that'd smell on a hot day. 252 00:13:45,592 --> 00:13:47,792 But-- Yeah, but if we create a market-- 253 00:13:47,861 --> 00:13:50,561 Oh, hello there. Hi, Mrs. Douglas. 254 00:13:50,630 --> 00:13:53,731 Please don't get up. Oh, I can't. I'm stuck to the chair. 255 00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:56,834 We were just talking about your husband, Mrs. Douglas. 256 00:13:56,903 --> 00:13:59,837 Oh, he isn't Mrs. Douglas. He's Mr. Douglas. 257 00:13:59,905 --> 00:14:02,806 Yeah, we was discussing that crackpot idea of his. 258 00:14:02,876 --> 00:14:05,176 Which crackpot idea of his was that? 259 00:14:05,245 --> 00:14:06,911 About the rutabagas. 260 00:14:06,980 --> 00:14:09,413 Well, I happen to think Mr. Douglas has a good idea, 261 00:14:09,482 --> 00:14:11,849 to make the world rutabaga-conscious. 262 00:14:11,918 --> 00:14:15,019 Most of the farmers around here barely make a living out of what they grow. 263 00:14:15,088 --> 00:14:19,156 So, if growin' rutabagas and creatin' a market for 'em will do it, I'm for it. 264 00:14:19,225 --> 00:14:21,926 You wouldn't talk like that if we didn't owe you money. 265 00:14:21,995 --> 00:14:24,361 Well, it worked for Florida. 266 00:14:24,430 --> 00:14:27,398 They made the world orange-conscious with their Orange Bowl football game, 267 00:14:27,467 --> 00:14:29,400 their parade and their orange queen. 268 00:14:29,469 --> 00:14:32,536 That's a good idea. We could have the same here. 269 00:14:32,605 --> 00:14:35,672 We could have an Orange Bowl, but with rutabagas, 270 00:14:35,741 --> 00:14:39,943 and we could have a Rose Parade with a rutabaga float. 271 00:14:40,013 --> 00:14:42,580 Doggone. We could do that, couldn't we? 272 00:14:42,649 --> 00:14:45,649 Well, now it's startin' to make sense. 273 00:14:45,719 --> 00:14:48,086 Sure. If we all put our minds to it, 274 00:14:48,154 --> 00:14:51,956 we could make Hooterville the rutabaga capital of the world. 275 00:14:58,598 --> 00:15:00,531 What did they say? 276 00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:03,735 They're going to have the Rutabaga Bowl here, 277 00:15:03,803 --> 00:15:08,272 and they're going to have a parade with rutabaga floats and a rutabaga queen. 278 00:15:08,341 --> 00:15:11,042 Oh, they were putting you on. 279 00:15:11,110 --> 00:15:14,879 No. They're serious. They all divided up into committees. 280 00:15:14,948 --> 00:15:18,883 Now, Mr. Trendell is in charge of getting the football teams, 281 00:15:18,952 --> 00:15:23,554 and Mr. Kiley is going to try to get one of the old Rose Parade queens... 282 00:15:23,623 --> 00:15:25,957 to convert to rutabagas. 283 00:15:26,026 --> 00:15:28,926 And you're in charge of the Rutabaga Bowl Ball. 284 00:15:28,995 --> 00:15:32,296 - The Rutabaga-- - They'd like to have that at the White House. 285 00:15:32,365 --> 00:15:35,967 Oh. Well, I'll see what I can do. 286 00:15:36,035 --> 00:15:39,303 Good. Now you're getting into the spirit of things. 287 00:15:39,372 --> 00:15:41,672 Lisa, this is ridiculous. 288 00:15:41,740 --> 00:15:46,010 - You won't think that when you watch it on TV. - TV? 289 00:15:46,079 --> 00:15:48,179 That's Mr. Ziffel's committee. 290 00:15:48,247 --> 00:15:50,715 Hello? Hello? 291 00:15:50,784 --> 00:15:52,950 Sarah, are you gettin' my number? 292 00:15:53,019 --> 00:15:55,419 Uh, Mr. Ziffel. Just a minute. 293 00:15:55,488 --> 00:15:57,421 I'm callin' New York. 294 00:15:57,490 --> 00:15:59,957 Hello. Is this CBS? 295 00:16:00,026 --> 00:16:04,862 Yeah. Well, I want to talk to the fella that sends out the color TV cameras. 296 00:16:04,931 --> 00:16:06,864 Mr. Ziffel. Just a minute. 297 00:16:06,933 --> 00:16:11,035 Uh, I want to order about 12 of your best TV cameras. 298 00:16:11,104 --> 00:16:14,572 Six of 'em ought to have the slow motion thing on it, 299 00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:17,374 and the other six with the instant replay. 300 00:16:17,443 --> 00:16:20,578 - Mr. Ziffel. - What's it for? 301 00:16:20,646 --> 00:16:24,948 Oh, it's for the football game we're having here in the Rutabaga Bowl. 302 00:16:25,017 --> 00:16:28,819 The football game in the Rutabaga Bowl here in Hooterville. 303 00:16:28,887 --> 00:16:32,789 Hooterville! Hooter-- What? 304 00:16:32,858 --> 00:16:35,726 Here. Will you tell that fella I ain't drunk? 305 00:16:35,795 --> 00:16:39,997 He's not drunk, but he might just as well be. 306 00:16:40,066 --> 00:16:44,268 Now, what did you hang up for? Now the cameras won't be here in time. 307 00:16:44,337 --> 00:16:48,239 Cameras for what? The football game in the Rutabaga Bowl. 308 00:16:48,308 --> 00:16:50,842 Roy's out lining up the teams now. 309 00:16:50,910 --> 00:16:54,545 Hello. Is this the University of Southern California? 310 00:16:54,613 --> 00:16:57,048 Oh, Mr. Trendell. Didn't anybody ever tell you to knock? 311 00:16:57,116 --> 00:16:59,050 The door was open. Hello. 312 00:16:59,118 --> 00:17:01,852 I'd like to talk to the fella in charge of the football schedule. 313 00:17:01,921 --> 00:17:04,422 Uh, oh, no. Mr. Trendell, you're wasting your time. Hello. 314 00:17:04,490 --> 00:17:07,091 Are you in charge of the football schedule at USC? 315 00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:10,494 [ Laughs ] Good. Now, how would you like to have your team... 316 00:17:10,563 --> 00:17:13,497 meet the Hooterville Rockets in the Rutabaga Bowl? 317 00:17:13,566 --> 00:17:15,499 The Ruta-- 318 00:17:15,568 --> 00:17:19,136 Well, if that's the way you feel, we'll get somebody else. 319 00:17:19,205 --> 00:17:22,206 Hello, Sarah. Get me Notre Dame University in Indi-- 320 00:17:22,275 --> 00:17:24,808 Never mind, Sarah. Hang up. 321 00:17:24,877 --> 00:17:28,812 What did you do that for? I'm trying to save you from making a fool of yourself. 322 00:17:28,881 --> 00:17:31,215 There isn't gonna be any Rutabaga Bowl. 323 00:17:31,284 --> 00:17:35,052 No? Then why is Newt calling Sophia Loren to be the rutabaga queen? 324 00:17:35,121 --> 00:17:38,589 Hello? Uh, is this Rome, Italy? 325 00:17:38,657 --> 00:17:41,925 Well, I'd like to talk to Sophie Loren. 326 00:17:41,994 --> 00:17:45,028 Her phone number? Uh, just a second. 327 00:17:45,098 --> 00:17:47,298 Uh, uh, her number's... 328 00:17:47,366 --> 00:17:52,103 Colosseum, quattro, uno, uno, uno. 329 00:17:52,171 --> 00:17:54,171 Grazie. 330 00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:56,873 Mr. Kiley, you-- Oh. Hello. 331 00:17:56,942 --> 00:18:00,177 Sophie? Newt Kiley. 332 00:18:00,246 --> 00:18:02,379 Fine. How are you? 333 00:18:02,448 --> 00:18:04,448 Well, that's good. 334 00:18:04,517 --> 00:18:09,587 Say, how would you like to be the rutabaga queen here in Hooterville? 335 00:18:09,655 --> 00:18:11,955 Oh, I knew you would! 336 00:18:12,024 --> 00:18:14,358 Oh, I'll let you know the date. 337 00:18:14,427 --> 00:18:16,427 Arrivederci, honey. 338 00:18:18,364 --> 00:18:21,765 What was it you wanted to see me about, Mr. Douglas? 339 00:18:21,834 --> 00:18:24,635 Nothing. 340 00:18:24,703 --> 00:18:26,703 Nothing. 341 00:18:29,008 --> 00:18:32,410 What's wrong with the people of this community? 342 00:18:32,478 --> 00:18:36,313 I had a simple idea about raising rutabagas. 343 00:18:36,382 --> 00:18:41,419 The next thing I know, Ziffel is trying to get CBS to send him color cameras, 344 00:18:41,487 --> 00:18:43,754 Trendell is trying to get the USC football team... 345 00:18:43,822 --> 00:18:46,557 and Newt is calling Sophia Loren to be a rutabaga queen. 346 00:18:46,625 --> 00:18:50,361 This is absurd. That's what I told 'em, but they get carried away. 347 00:18:50,430 --> 00:18:52,596 - They sure do. - Yeah. 348 00:18:54,333 --> 00:18:56,467 Wonder why Ed Sullivan hasn't called me back. 349 00:18:56,536 --> 00:18:59,437 - What? - Well, I thought we oughta do something sensible, 350 00:18:59,505 --> 00:19:02,506 so I called him about buying 10 minutes of time on his program. 351 00:19:02,575 --> 00:19:05,442 - Ten minutes-- - I didn't want him to do anything fancy. 352 00:19:05,511 --> 00:19:07,444 Just talk about rutabagas. 353 00:19:07,513 --> 00:19:11,715 Look. Uh, why don't we call this whole thing off? 354 00:19:11,784 --> 00:19:14,051 Includin' the balloon ascension today? 355 00:19:14,120 --> 00:19:16,119 Yes. Including-- 356 00:19:17,723 --> 00:19:19,990 - What balloon? - Well, that was Haney's committee. 357 00:19:20,058 --> 00:19:22,559 See, he's the only one in the valley that owns a balloon. 358 00:19:22,628 --> 00:19:24,561 He used to go up in it at state fairs. 359 00:19:24,630 --> 00:19:27,298 This one I don't understand at all. 360 00:19:27,366 --> 00:19:31,402 Well, you see, Haney's idea was to fill the basket full of rutabagas, 361 00:19:31,470 --> 00:19:34,205 send the balloon up, and let it float over the country... 362 00:19:34,274 --> 00:19:36,207 droppin' rutabagas as it goes. 363 00:19:36,276 --> 00:19:39,643 And Mr. Haney's gonna go up in the balloon? 364 00:19:39,712 --> 00:19:43,414 No, no. He's not gonna go up in it. He's selecting some pretty girl to ride in it. 365 00:19:43,482 --> 00:19:47,951 What girl in her right mind would go up in a balloon? 366 00:19:48,021 --> 00:19:52,023 Mr. Douglas. Mr. Douglas. Guess who was elected balloon queen. 367 00:19:56,129 --> 00:20:00,097 Uh, Mrs. Douglas, have you ever flowed in a balloon before? 368 00:20:00,165 --> 00:20:02,132 I don't think so. 369 00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:06,237 I was once locked into the ladies' room on the top of the Eiffel Tower. 370 00:20:06,305 --> 00:20:08,839 Well, balloon flyin' is a little like that, 371 00:20:08,907 --> 00:20:11,542 except you're more out in the open. 372 00:20:11,611 --> 00:20:14,111 Are you sure this is safe, Mr. Haney? 373 00:20:14,179 --> 00:20:17,848 - Yes, ma'am. - Suppose you get a leak in the bag? 374 00:20:17,917 --> 00:20:21,419 You just call the Auto Club, 375 00:20:21,487 --> 00:20:25,256 and they'll send somebody up to fix it. 376 00:20:25,325 --> 00:20:29,393 Now, as soon as we release the balloon, it'll go straight up, 377 00:20:29,462 --> 00:20:34,698 and then the prevailin' winds will just carry it across the country. 378 00:20:34,767 --> 00:20:38,869 And every time you fly over a likely-lookin' town or city, 379 00:20:38,938 --> 00:20:40,871 drop a few "rutabagers." 380 00:20:40,940 --> 00:20:43,741 There's a tag on each one... 381 00:20:43,809 --> 00:20:47,511 that says "Eat Hooterville Rutabagas." 382 00:20:47,580 --> 00:20:51,047 Now, these are actually Pixley rutabagas, 383 00:20:51,116 --> 00:20:55,452 but by the time the orders start comin' in, we'll be growin' our own. 384 00:20:55,521 --> 00:20:57,321 How do I get down? 385 00:20:57,390 --> 00:20:58,889 Just pull that rope. 386 00:20:58,958 --> 00:21:03,961 I'd pull it as soon as you get over, uh, Anaheim, "Californy." 387 00:21:04,030 --> 00:21:06,563 Uh, there ain't no point in goin' any further west... 388 00:21:06,632 --> 00:21:12,169 'cause, uh, I don't think there's much of a rutabaga market in Hawaii. 389 00:21:12,238 --> 00:21:15,272 Anything else I should know? No. 390 00:21:15,341 --> 00:21:18,009 Well, then let's get the show on the road. 391 00:21:18,077 --> 00:21:20,844 Stand back, everybody! 392 00:21:20,913 --> 00:21:23,680 Lisa! 393 00:21:23,749 --> 00:21:25,682 Lisa! 394 00:21:25,751 --> 00:21:27,785 Have a good trip, Mrs. Douglas. 395 00:21:27,853 --> 00:21:30,187 Lisa! Lisa! Lisa, come back! 396 00:21:30,255 --> 00:21:32,956 Pick me up in Anaheim. 397 00:21:35,661 --> 00:21:37,794 Lisa, come down. Lisa! 398 00:21:40,365 --> 00:21:43,600 Eat "Hootersville" rutabagas. 399 00:21:47,607 --> 00:21:50,307 Lisa, come on down! 400 00:21:51,944 --> 00:21:55,279 Eat "Hootersville" rutabagas. 401 00:21:57,550 --> 00:22:00,484 Eat Hootersville rutabagas. 402 00:22:00,553 --> 00:22:03,354 Eat Hootersville rutabagas. 403 00:22:05,358 --> 00:22:07,691 Eat Hootersville rutabagas. 404 00:22:07,760 --> 00:22:10,961 Eat Hootersville rutabagas. 405 00:22:12,398 --> 00:22:15,466 Fighter command headquarters. Major Boland. 406 00:22:15,535 --> 00:22:18,902 What? Somebody's bombing Denver? 407 00:22:20,306 --> 00:22:22,372 - Scramble. Scramble. - [ Alarm Blaring ] 408 00:22:29,515 --> 00:22:31,448 Oliver. 409 00:22:31,517 --> 00:22:33,950 What? You thinking? 410 00:22:34,019 --> 00:22:37,321 Yes. What about? 411 00:22:37,390 --> 00:22:39,390 I'd rather not say. 412 00:22:44,063 --> 00:22:46,797 Do you mind if I sit down and watch you think? 413 00:22:46,865 --> 00:22:48,865 I'd rather you didn't. 414 00:22:48,934 --> 00:22:51,001 You're still bugged about the balloon. 415 00:22:51,069 --> 00:22:53,971 Oh, no, I'm not. 416 00:22:54,039 --> 00:22:58,509 But that was the most stupid thing you've ever done. 417 00:22:58,578 --> 00:23:01,712 That's all you've said ever since I came home. 418 00:23:01,780 --> 00:23:06,550 And I'll keep on saying it. That was the most stupid thing you've ever done. 419 00:23:06,619 --> 00:23:08,119 I'm sorry. 420 00:23:08,187 --> 00:23:10,987 Do you realize you could have been killed? 421 00:23:11,056 --> 00:23:13,290 They almost shot you down over Denver. 422 00:23:13,359 --> 00:23:18,028 Well, it's a nice place to visit, but I wouldn't want to be shot down there. 423 00:23:18,096 --> 00:23:20,897 Lisa, I nearly went out of my mind. 424 00:23:20,966 --> 00:23:25,402 I'm sorry, but-- but everybody said you had such a good idea with the rutabagas, 425 00:23:25,470 --> 00:23:27,404 and I was just trying to help you. 426 00:23:27,472 --> 00:23:29,740 Well, I appreciate that. 427 00:23:29,808 --> 00:23:34,711 But that was the most stupid thing you've ever done. 428 00:23:34,780 --> 00:23:39,883 Well, I guess I've done a lot of stupid things in my life, 429 00:23:39,952 --> 00:23:43,119 but I did one smart thing-- when I married you. 430 00:23:43,188 --> 00:23:46,222 - I agree. - Where would I be without you? 431 00:23:46,291 --> 00:23:48,225 Floating over Denver. 432 00:23:48,293 --> 00:23:51,462 Maybe I could help to take your mind off it. 433 00:23:51,530 --> 00:23:53,530 How? 434 00:23:53,599 --> 00:23:55,699 I could sit on your lap. 435 00:23:57,335 --> 00:24:01,972 Ooh. How did they get that balloon off the ground? 436 00:24:02,041 --> 00:24:04,875 That did it. Lisa, please. I'm only kidding. 437 00:24:04,944 --> 00:24:08,979 This has been a nightmare. Let's just forget about the whole thing. 438 00:24:09,048 --> 00:24:11,281 [ Knocking ] 439 00:24:11,349 --> 00:24:14,184 - Come in. - Mr. Douglas? 440 00:24:14,253 --> 00:24:16,320 - Yes. - I'm from CBS. 441 00:24:16,389 --> 00:24:18,522 I have the 12 color cameras you ordered for the Rutabaga Bowl. 442 00:24:18,591 --> 00:24:21,992 - What? - Six slow motion. Six instant replay. 443 00:24:23,062 --> 00:24:24,995 Oliver. What? 444 00:24:25,064 --> 00:24:27,731 You want to go for a balloon ride? 445 00:25:05,538 --> 00:25:08,071 [ Lisa ] This has been a Filmways presentation, darling. 40314

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