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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:17,384 --> 00:00:19,318 [ Oliver ] ♪ Green Acres ♪ 2 00:00:19,386 --> 00:00:21,686 ♪ Is the place to be ♪ 3 00:00:21,755 --> 00:00:25,557 ♪ Farm livin' is the life for me ♪ 4 00:00:25,625 --> 00:00:29,661 ♪ Land spreadin' out so far and wide ♪ 5 00:00:29,729 --> 00:00:33,398 ♪ Keep Manhattan Just give me that countryside ♪ 6 00:00:33,467 --> 00:00:37,502 [ Lisa ] ♪ New York is where I'd rather stay ♪ 7 00:00:37,571 --> 00:00:41,673 ♪ I get allergic smelling hay ♪ 8 00:00:41,741 --> 00:00:45,177 ♪ I just adore a penthouse view ♪ 9 00:00:45,246 --> 00:00:48,346 ♪ Darling, I love you but give me Park Avenue ♪ 10 00:00:50,817 --> 00:00:52,884 ♪ The chores ♪ 11 00:00:52,953 --> 00:00:54,919 ♪ The stores ♪ 12 00:00:54,989 --> 00:00:57,890 - ♪ Fresh air ♪ - ♪ Times Square ♪ 13 00:00:57,958 --> 00:01:02,327 - ♪ You are my wife ♪ - ♪ Good-bye, city life ♪ 14 00:01:02,396 --> 00:01:05,897 [ Together ] ♪ Green Acres, we are there ♪♪ 15 00:01:17,644 --> 00:01:19,578 Lisa, you're not going. And I say I am. 16 00:01:19,646 --> 00:01:22,314 You're not. I am. 17 00:01:22,382 --> 00:01:26,551 I am going into Drucker's, and I'll discuss it with you later. 18 00:01:26,620 --> 00:01:29,221 But Oliver-- Later. 19 00:01:38,632 --> 00:01:40,898 It's later. Do you want to discuss it now? 20 00:01:40,967 --> 00:01:42,900 How did you-- Do you want to discuss it? 21 00:01:42,969 --> 00:01:44,902 No. 22 00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:49,073 Oliver. 23 00:01:49,142 --> 00:01:51,676 Lisa, you are not going, and that's final. 24 00:01:51,745 --> 00:01:54,579 Well, I have a final of my own. I am going. 25 00:01:54,648 --> 00:01:56,914 I explained to you why I can't take you. 26 00:01:56,983 --> 00:01:58,916 Would you explain it again? No. 27 00:01:58,985 --> 00:02:01,253 You forgot the phony story you made up. 28 00:02:01,321 --> 00:02:06,224 It is not phony. None of the other men are taking their wives. 29 00:02:06,293 --> 00:02:08,693 Why not? 30 00:02:08,762 --> 00:02:11,196 Lisa, will you stop bumping into me? 31 00:02:11,265 --> 00:02:13,531 Well, your taillight isn't working. 32 00:02:13,600 --> 00:02:15,868 I'll get it fixed. 33 00:02:15,936 --> 00:02:19,204 Hold it. Oh, for-- 34 00:02:19,273 --> 00:02:22,074 Well, you didn't explain it to me. Why not? 35 00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:24,209 Why not what? 36 00:02:24,278 --> 00:02:27,379 Why not aren't the other fellas taking their wives? Why? 37 00:02:27,447 --> 00:02:30,082 Because it's strictly for men. 38 00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:32,484 Oh! It's a stag party. 39 00:02:32,553 --> 00:02:34,486 No, it's not a stag party. 40 00:02:34,555 --> 00:02:36,588 It's a farm symposium. 41 00:02:36,656 --> 00:02:40,825 - What's a symposium? - Well, a lot of men sit around a long table-- 42 00:02:40,894 --> 00:02:43,061 And a girl comes out of the cake. 43 00:02:43,130 --> 00:02:46,164 No, no girl comes out of a cake. 44 00:02:46,233 --> 00:02:50,235 - What does she come out of? - Lisa, it's just a bunch of farmers... 45 00:02:50,304 --> 00:02:53,771 sitting around a table discussing farm problems. 46 00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:57,075 But, Oliver, I'm not going to stay here all by myself. 47 00:02:57,144 --> 00:02:59,912 Why not? You've done it before. That was different. 48 00:02:59,980 --> 00:03:02,480 Eb was here, and he wasn't away on his honeymoon. 49 00:03:02,549 --> 00:03:05,350 Oh, yes. Well, I'll tell you what I'll do. 50 00:03:05,419 --> 00:03:07,352 When I'm in Drucker's, I'll see if I can get somebody... 51 00:03:07,421 --> 00:03:09,354 to come out here and stay with you. 52 00:03:09,423 --> 00:03:13,525 - You mean a babysitter? - No, I mean a hired hand. 53 00:03:13,594 --> 00:03:16,694 I've gotta get somebody to help out here until Eb comes back. 54 00:03:16,763 --> 00:03:18,430 I'll see you later. Oliver? 55 00:03:18,498 --> 00:03:20,698 - Yes? - I understand how you feel. 56 00:03:20,767 --> 00:03:23,201 If all the other fellas aren't bringing their wives... 57 00:03:23,270 --> 00:03:26,838 and you showed up with yours, they'd think you were henpecked. 58 00:03:26,906 --> 00:03:29,207 - Yes, they would. - Well, I can fix that. 59 00:03:29,276 --> 00:03:33,211 I'll make the hotel reservation for Mr. Douglas and Miss Jones. 60 00:03:33,280 --> 00:03:35,513 Good-bye. 61 00:03:45,892 --> 00:03:48,293 [ Grunting ] 62 00:03:49,796 --> 00:03:52,063 Oh, come on, Arnold. Make up your mind. 63 00:03:52,131 --> 00:03:55,299 Sam ain't got all day. Which lunch box do you want? 64 00:03:55,369 --> 00:03:57,469 [ Grunting ] 65 00:03:57,537 --> 00:04:00,172 Ah, good morning. Good morning, Mr. Douglas. 66 00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:03,174 - Good morning, Arnold. - [ Grunting ] 67 00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:07,679 Mr. Douglas, which lunch box do you think Arnold oughta have? 68 00:04:07,748 --> 00:04:10,348 Oh, that square one's nice. 69 00:04:10,417 --> 00:04:13,085 [ Squealing ] 70 00:04:13,153 --> 00:04:16,020 I guess you and Arnold ain't got the same taste. 71 00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:19,224 Well, Arnold, you better get going now. 72 00:04:19,293 --> 00:04:22,427 You're 15 minutes late for class. 73 00:04:22,496 --> 00:04:25,530 And, Arnold, be sure and put your name on that lunch box... 74 00:04:25,599 --> 00:04:27,599 so you don't lose it. 75 00:04:27,667 --> 00:04:30,502 Darn kids are so careless. Yeah. 76 00:04:30,571 --> 00:04:33,037 I say, where do you want this, Mr. Drucker? 77 00:04:33,107 --> 00:04:35,840 Oh, right over there by the stove. 78 00:04:35,909 --> 00:04:38,576 - What can I do for you, Mr. Douglas? - Well, I-- 79 00:04:38,645 --> 00:04:40,645 [ Squealing ] 80 00:04:43,250 --> 00:04:46,818 Forgot to put his lunch in his box. Yeah, well-- 81 00:04:46,886 --> 00:04:48,886 Is there anything else I can do around here, Mr. Drucker? 82 00:04:48,955 --> 00:04:51,723 Oh, uh, no. No, that's a fine pile of wood. 83 00:04:51,792 --> 00:04:53,725 Help yourself to some canned goods, Tony. 84 00:04:53,794 --> 00:04:56,528 Oh, Mr. Douglas, this is Tony Ashley. How do you do? 85 00:04:56,596 --> 00:04:58,530 How do you do? Tony's from England. 86 00:04:58,598 --> 00:05:01,265 He's tramping across the country, writing a book about America. 87 00:05:01,335 --> 00:05:03,835 Oh, well, he oughta get Mr. Douglas to help him. 88 00:05:03,904 --> 00:05:06,504 He's always making speeches about the American farmer. 89 00:05:06,573 --> 00:05:09,173 Well, I-- Do that one about the battling farmer... 90 00:05:09,242 --> 00:05:11,543 standing on the bridge shooting at the British. 91 00:05:11,611 --> 00:05:13,945 No offense. 92 00:05:14,014 --> 00:05:17,482 Mr. Ziffel, it's not a speech about shooting at the British. 93 00:05:17,551 --> 00:05:19,484 No offense. 94 00:05:19,553 --> 00:05:23,155 It's a poem-- "The Concord Hymn," by Ralph Waldo Emerson. 95 00:05:23,223 --> 00:05:25,156 Oh, you mean, uh-- 96 00:05:25,225 --> 00:05:28,025 "By the rude bridge that arched the flood, 97 00:05:28,094 --> 00:05:31,529 "their flag to April's breeze unfurled. 98 00:05:31,598 --> 00:05:34,532 "Here once the embattled farmers stood, 99 00:05:34,601 --> 00:05:38,303 and fired the shot heard round the world." 100 00:05:38,372 --> 00:05:41,506 Doggone. You sure say that better than Mr. Douglas. 101 00:05:41,575 --> 00:05:45,076 - No offense. - [ Muttering ] 102 00:05:45,145 --> 00:05:48,880 Mr. Douglas has another one-- about planting the seeds in the rich brown earth, 103 00:05:48,948 --> 00:05:51,649 and watching 'em shoot up towards the sun and the sky. 104 00:05:51,718 --> 00:05:53,451 I don't believe I know that one. 105 00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:55,554 Well, you wouldn't want to hear him say it. 106 00:05:55,622 --> 00:05:58,557 It's pretty dull. Mr. Drucker-- 107 00:05:58,625 --> 00:06:03,528 I wonder if Arnold remembered to take his napkins. 108 00:06:03,597 --> 00:06:06,030 Mr. Drucker, is there anybody else around here... 109 00:06:06,099 --> 00:06:08,433 who might need some odd jobs performed? 110 00:06:08,502 --> 00:06:10,435 Uh, Mr. Douglas might. 111 00:06:10,504 --> 00:06:13,638 You said you was looking for somebody temporary to fill in for Eb. 112 00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:16,608 Well, yes, I am. Have you ever worked on a farm? 113 00:06:16,677 --> 00:06:18,710 My uncle owned a dairy farm near Cheltenham. 114 00:06:18,778 --> 00:06:23,014 - Well, I do need somebody. - Why don't you give him a chance, Mr. Douglas? 115 00:06:23,083 --> 00:06:25,117 Yeah. He couldn't do no worse than you do. 116 00:06:27,087 --> 00:06:30,188 Well, if you want to, we'll give it a try. 117 00:06:32,259 --> 00:06:34,192 Lisa. Lisa? 118 00:06:34,261 --> 00:06:36,561 Oh, Oliver. Oh. Oliver-- 119 00:06:36,630 --> 00:06:38,697 I called the hotel in the state capital, 120 00:06:38,765 --> 00:06:43,000 and they didn't have two rooms, so I reserved one for you and Miss Jones. 121 00:06:44,371 --> 00:06:47,238 Uh, that's me, otherwise known as Mrs. Douglas. 122 00:06:47,307 --> 00:06:49,774 Lisa, this is Tony Ashley. 123 00:06:49,843 --> 00:06:53,345 Tony, this is my wife, "Miss Jones." How do you do? 124 00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:56,214 - How do I do what? - Uh-- 125 00:06:56,282 --> 00:06:59,718 Lisa, Tony's gonna work here for a couple of weeks. 126 00:06:59,786 --> 00:07:02,053 Oh? Are you going to be my babysitter? 127 00:07:02,121 --> 00:07:06,191 Well, I-- Uh, what my wife means is, I wanted somebody... 128 00:07:06,260 --> 00:07:09,327 to be here while I was at the symposium up at the state capital. 129 00:07:09,396 --> 00:07:13,331 - That's a stag party with farmers. - It's not a-- 130 00:07:13,400 --> 00:07:16,734 Did anybody ever tell you that you look like David Niven? 131 00:07:16,803 --> 00:07:19,537 Uh, no, they haven't. 132 00:07:19,606 --> 00:07:23,041 I don't think so either because you spell your name differently. 133 00:07:24,311 --> 00:07:26,678 You can see why I'm afraid to leave her alone. 134 00:07:26,746 --> 00:07:29,514 Come on, Tony. I'll show you where you're going to sleep. 135 00:07:29,583 --> 00:07:32,050 Fine. Charmed to have met you. 136 00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:35,920 - Glad to have you abroad. - "Abroad"? 137 00:07:35,989 --> 00:07:40,524 You're what this farm has always needed-- a good hand kisser. 138 00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:49,534 Oh, Lisa, I'm starved. Is it-- 139 00:07:49,603 --> 00:07:53,538 What are you using all the good silver for? Why, this is for Tony. 140 00:07:53,607 --> 00:07:55,840 He's English, and this is the way they eat. 141 00:07:55,909 --> 00:07:58,209 They're very proper. Oh. 142 00:07:58,278 --> 00:08:01,345 Well, maybe I should have put on a clean pair of spats. 143 00:08:01,415 --> 00:08:04,315 How's Tony doing? Oh, fine. 144 00:08:04,384 --> 00:08:06,317 He's a good worker. 145 00:08:06,386 --> 00:08:08,319 I hope he stays till Eb gets back. 146 00:08:08,388 --> 00:08:10,321 What's for lunch? 147 00:08:10,390 --> 00:08:12,890 Hotcakes. 148 00:08:12,959 --> 00:08:15,827 Well, maybe I can find somebody else. 149 00:08:15,896 --> 00:08:17,995 I'm sorry I'm late. 150 00:08:18,064 --> 00:08:19,997 [ Lisa ] Oh, that's all right. 151 00:08:20,066 --> 00:08:23,668 It's nice to see a man wearing a jacket for lunch. 152 00:08:23,737 --> 00:08:26,504 Isn't it, Oliver? Yes. Looks very nice. 153 00:08:26,573 --> 00:08:29,574 I think everybody should wear a jacket for lunch. 154 00:08:29,643 --> 00:08:31,843 If you'd like to wear one, go ahead. 155 00:08:31,912 --> 00:08:34,345 Won't you sit down, please? Oh. May I? 156 00:08:34,414 --> 00:08:36,347 Thank you. 157 00:08:36,416 --> 00:08:38,850 Tony, after lunch I think we ought to start-- 158 00:08:38,919 --> 00:08:42,787 I hope you noticed what Tony just did, Mr. Douglas. 159 00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:46,490 Uh, yes, I did. I think we ought to start near the south fence. 160 00:08:46,559 --> 00:08:50,028 We certainly don't have any trouble telling who is the gentleman in this room. 161 00:08:50,096 --> 00:08:52,329 Look, Lisa-- 162 00:08:52,398 --> 00:08:54,365 I say, I didn't mean to cause any friction. 163 00:08:54,434 --> 00:08:56,367 Oh, no, it's not your fault. 164 00:08:56,436 --> 00:08:58,870 My wife's a little miffed at me because I'm going to this farm symposium, 165 00:08:58,939 --> 00:09:00,972 and I'm not taking her with me. 166 00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:04,676 - If you were going, would you take your wife with you? - Well-- 167 00:09:04,744 --> 00:09:07,479 Lisa, it's not fair to put him in a spot like that. 168 00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:10,649 Oh, I'm sorry. Would you like to have some hotcakes? 169 00:09:10,717 --> 00:09:13,485 It's not fair to put him in a spot like that either. 170 00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:16,521 - Oliver. - Lisa, will you please get the coffee? 171 00:09:16,590 --> 00:09:19,657 - Are you going to pull the chair out for me? - No. 172 00:09:19,726 --> 00:09:23,027 Well, I just wanted to show Tony that you're not all bad. 173 00:09:23,096 --> 00:09:25,897 Would you care for some, Mr. Douglas? 174 00:09:25,965 --> 00:09:28,900 Uh, no thanks. I've eaten here before. 175 00:09:35,542 --> 00:09:37,976 You're only going to end up with a bent fork. 176 00:09:38,044 --> 00:09:42,246 - [ Whispering ] What do you suggest? - The Pixley Diner. 177 00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:45,983 Which would you rather have, coffee or tea? 178 00:09:46,052 --> 00:09:49,721 Tea, if you don't mind. Thank you. 179 00:09:54,761 --> 00:09:57,495 I hope it won't be too strong for you. 180 00:09:57,564 --> 00:10:00,164 Lisa, you make tea with hot water. 181 00:10:00,233 --> 00:10:02,434 What do you think I made the coffee with? 182 00:10:02,502 --> 00:10:04,435 How many lumps? 183 00:10:17,283 --> 00:10:19,383 Oliver? Mm-hmm? 184 00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:21,720 - I want to talk to you. - Mm-hmm. 185 00:10:21,788 --> 00:10:24,756 - Are you listening? - Mm-hmm. 186 00:10:24,824 --> 00:10:27,359 The baby is coming. 187 00:10:27,427 --> 00:10:29,594 That's nice. 188 00:10:29,663 --> 00:10:32,596 You better go and boil some water. 189 00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:42,240 He's a good man to have around in a crisis. 190 00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:55,086 Oliver? Mm-hmm? 191 00:10:55,155 --> 00:10:57,789 What you doing? I'm boiling some hot water. 192 00:10:57,857 --> 00:11:00,558 - What for? - You're going to have a baby. 193 00:11:00,627 --> 00:11:03,627 I already had it. 194 00:11:03,697 --> 00:11:06,063 Would you mind heating up some milk? 195 00:11:06,132 --> 00:11:08,066 Sure. 196 00:11:11,337 --> 00:11:13,337 What do you mean, you had a baby? 197 00:11:13,406 --> 00:11:15,773 I knew you weren't listening. 198 00:11:15,842 --> 00:11:18,877 Lisa, I'm trying to digest these figures... 199 00:11:18,945 --> 00:11:22,747 so I can speak intelligently at the stag-- I mean, the symposium. 200 00:11:22,816 --> 00:11:24,849 That's what I want to talk to you about. 201 00:11:24,918 --> 00:11:28,319 Lisa, we had that all out. Now, you're not going with me. 202 00:11:28,388 --> 00:11:31,956 - I don't want to go. - I am not going to change my mind. 203 00:11:32,025 --> 00:11:35,726 - That's okay with me. - I don't care how you nag me, I'm not-- 204 00:11:35,795 --> 00:11:38,796 What do you mean, you don't want to go? 205 00:11:38,865 --> 00:11:41,232 Well, you see, the reason I wanted to go was, 206 00:11:41,301 --> 00:11:44,068 because with Eb away, I didn't want to stay here alone, 207 00:11:44,137 --> 00:11:47,605 but now that Tony is here, I feel safer. 208 00:11:47,674 --> 00:11:49,841 Oh. Well, good. 209 00:11:49,909 --> 00:11:52,310 He's got very good manners. 210 00:11:52,378 --> 00:11:55,012 Yes, he pushes a nice chair. 211 00:11:55,081 --> 00:11:58,082 He kisses a good hand too. 212 00:11:58,151 --> 00:12:00,451 Do you think he's handsome? 213 00:12:00,520 --> 00:12:03,721 Well, he doesn't turn me on, but-- 214 00:12:03,790 --> 00:12:07,725 Did you notice when he smiles, what pretty teeth he has? 215 00:12:07,793 --> 00:12:12,196 Oh, I don't notice those things, ever since I sold my toothpaste stock. 216 00:12:12,265 --> 00:12:14,698 Well, they're very pretty. 217 00:12:14,767 --> 00:12:17,068 They've got spaces between them. 218 00:12:17,136 --> 00:12:19,803 A lot of women think that's very sexy. 219 00:12:19,873 --> 00:12:22,239 Now what's sexy about it? 220 00:12:22,308 --> 00:12:24,575 Well, I'm going to feel very good... 221 00:12:24,643 --> 00:12:27,478 with you away and Tony here. 222 00:12:27,546 --> 00:12:29,546 Mm-hmm. [ Knocking ] 223 00:12:29,615 --> 00:12:33,051 I beg your pardon. I saw the light on and, uh-- 224 00:12:33,119 --> 00:12:36,220 I see you've got the kettle on. Are you boiling some water for some tea? 225 00:12:36,289 --> 00:12:39,057 No, uh, my wife is having a baby. 226 00:12:39,125 --> 00:12:41,059 Good night. 227 00:12:44,964 --> 00:12:46,898 You grab a hoe. 228 00:12:46,966 --> 00:12:49,066 We'll go out in the tomato field and I'll show you what to do. 229 00:12:49,135 --> 00:12:51,068 [ Cow Moos ] 230 00:12:51,137 --> 00:12:53,905 Before you do that, you better throw some hay down for Eleanor. 231 00:12:53,973 --> 00:12:55,907 Yes, sir. 232 00:12:55,975 --> 00:12:57,909 [ Vehicle Approaching ] 233 00:13:00,013 --> 00:13:01,946 Ah, Mr. Haney. 234 00:13:02,015 --> 00:13:04,181 I just stopped by to congratulate you. 235 00:13:04,250 --> 00:13:07,351 Is it a boy or a girl? A boy or a girl? 236 00:13:07,420 --> 00:13:10,554 Oh, you don't know yet. Well, it don't matter. 237 00:13:10,624 --> 00:13:13,925 The little tyke will soon sleep happily-- 238 00:13:13,993 --> 00:13:17,361 in this magnificent cradle. 239 00:13:17,430 --> 00:13:21,866 What the-- It was originally slept in by Benjamin Franklin, 240 00:13:21,935 --> 00:13:24,536 in his earlier years, of course. 241 00:13:24,604 --> 00:13:27,038 What are you talking about? 242 00:13:27,106 --> 00:13:30,542 The infant that Mrs. Douglas presented you with. 243 00:13:30,610 --> 00:13:33,044 What makes you think that Mrs.-- 244 00:13:33,112 --> 00:13:35,713 Everybody in the valley heard her hollerin'... 245 00:13:35,782 --> 00:13:38,716 for you to boil hot water last night. 246 00:13:38,785 --> 00:13:40,718 How could they have heard that? 247 00:13:40,787 --> 00:13:43,721 Whenever the wind blows in just the right direction, 248 00:13:43,790 --> 00:13:46,457 you can hear everything that goes on here. 249 00:13:46,526 --> 00:13:48,560 Mr. Haney, no matter what you think-- 250 00:13:48,628 --> 00:13:50,929 Mr. Douglas, I just fed Eleanor. Oh. 251 00:13:50,997 --> 00:13:53,565 Eleanor? Then it's a girl. 252 00:13:53,633 --> 00:13:57,234 Eleanor is the cow's name. 253 00:13:57,303 --> 00:14:01,105 And you named the baby after her. How touching. 254 00:14:01,174 --> 00:14:04,642 Mr. Haney, my wife did not have a baby. 255 00:14:04,710 --> 00:14:08,913 Then why did you hire this English nanny? 256 00:14:08,982 --> 00:14:10,915 He's not a-- 257 00:14:10,984 --> 00:14:12,951 Uh, Mr. Haney, this is Tony Ashley. 258 00:14:13,019 --> 00:14:14,953 He's filling in for Eb. 259 00:14:15,021 --> 00:14:18,355 Pleased to meet you. Tony, I'll catch up with you in the tomato field. 260 00:14:18,424 --> 00:14:21,425 It's over there by the south fence. Right-o. 261 00:14:22,929 --> 00:14:26,363 Is he gonna stay here while you go to that there symposium? 262 00:14:26,432 --> 00:14:29,033 Yes. Probably makes you feel pretty good, 263 00:14:29,102 --> 00:14:32,036 having somebody like that to look after her while you're away. 264 00:14:32,105 --> 00:14:34,038 Oh, yeah, yeah. She's gonna be-- 265 00:14:34,107 --> 00:14:36,040 Be a nice change for the missus too, 266 00:14:36,109 --> 00:14:39,543 to have somebody around to push her chair, and kiss her hand. 267 00:14:39,613 --> 00:14:41,713 My wife doesn't really care about-- 268 00:14:41,781 --> 00:14:46,217 She sure must like him, setting the table with the good silverware for him. 269 00:14:46,285 --> 00:14:50,054 - How did you-- - That come in on the previous wind. 270 00:14:51,790 --> 00:14:54,791 Mr. Haney, uh-- He sure is a handsome feller. 271 00:14:54,860 --> 00:14:56,894 Yes, he is. 272 00:14:56,963 --> 00:15:00,064 Well, I wouldn't worry too much. 273 00:15:00,133 --> 00:15:03,634 - About what? - I guess it's always the husband... 274 00:15:03,703 --> 00:15:05,636 who's the last one to know. 275 00:15:05,705 --> 00:15:08,740 Mr. Haney, what are you talking about? 276 00:15:08,808 --> 00:15:11,742 Well, you have a good time, and while you're away... 277 00:15:11,811 --> 00:15:14,245 I'll keep my ear to the wind. 278 00:15:26,759 --> 00:15:29,693 Did you say these were tomatoes, old boy? 279 00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:34,065 Of course. Hmm. 280 00:15:35,468 --> 00:15:37,868 Is there some reason for growing them so small? 281 00:15:39,272 --> 00:15:42,139 Look, you just cultivate them, hmm? 282 00:15:42,208 --> 00:15:44,708 I say, what's that over there? 283 00:15:46,779 --> 00:15:48,880 Corn. 284 00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:52,450 - Is there any reason for growing it so small? - Will you please-- 285 00:15:52,518 --> 00:15:55,553 Hi, Mr. Douglas. Oh, hiya, Mr. Kimball. 286 00:15:55,621 --> 00:15:57,721 Yeah, I just walked through your cabbage patch. 287 00:15:57,790 --> 00:16:00,091 Is there any reason for growing them this small? 288 00:16:03,096 --> 00:16:06,197 I just asked him the same thing about his corn and tomatoes. 289 00:16:06,265 --> 00:16:09,500 You should see his apples. [ Laughs ] 290 00:16:09,569 --> 00:16:12,503 Oh, I don't think we've been introduced. Oh, yes, I'm sorry. 291 00:16:12,572 --> 00:16:15,173 This is Tony Ashley. Tony, this is Hank Kimball. 292 00:16:15,241 --> 00:16:18,242 He's our county agent. Pleased to make your acquaintance, old chap. 293 00:16:18,311 --> 00:16:21,112 - Oh, you have an accent. - Oh, yes, Tony's from-- 294 00:16:21,181 --> 00:16:23,681 Don't tell me. I got a great ear for accents. 295 00:16:23,750 --> 00:16:27,118 No, it's this one. 296 00:16:27,186 --> 00:16:31,055 - You mind saying something? - What would you like to hear me say, old boy? 297 00:16:31,124 --> 00:16:34,892 Got it. Nebraska-- I'd say around Omaha. 298 00:16:36,295 --> 00:16:39,296 - Cheltenham, England. - Oh, Kansas. 299 00:16:40,466 --> 00:16:42,400 I got a lot of friends in Kansas. 300 00:16:42,468 --> 00:16:45,036 Uh, well, not a lot. There's uh-- Uh-- 301 00:16:45,104 --> 00:16:47,538 No, he was from South Dakota. 302 00:16:47,606 --> 00:16:50,274 Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever been in Kansas. 303 00:16:50,343 --> 00:16:53,311 I'd be glad to raise the money for a trip. 304 00:16:53,379 --> 00:16:57,181 That's very nice of you. No, it isn't. You're trying to get rid of me. 305 00:16:57,250 --> 00:17:00,784 If you'll excuse me, I'd better get to work. 306 00:17:00,854 --> 00:17:02,786 Nice fella. 307 00:17:02,855 --> 00:17:05,156 Yes. He's gonna work around here for a while. 308 00:17:05,224 --> 00:17:07,825 He is? Oh! Before I forget-- 309 00:17:09,528 --> 00:17:11,462 Forget what? 310 00:17:11,530 --> 00:17:13,764 I forgot. 311 00:17:13,832 --> 00:17:15,766 - Look-- - I'm only human. 312 00:17:15,834 --> 00:17:20,371 - Who told you that? - Uh, I forget. 313 00:17:21,441 --> 00:17:23,374 Oh, now I remember. 314 00:17:23,443 --> 00:17:25,977 Hey, that was quite a fight you had upwind with Mrs. Douglas yesterday. 315 00:17:26,045 --> 00:17:28,612 - Look, Mr. Kimball-- - I didn't mean to eavesdrop, 316 00:17:28,681 --> 00:17:31,015 but you were yelling and the wind was blowing-- 317 00:17:31,084 --> 00:17:33,717 Well, why don't you want to take her to the stag party with you? 318 00:17:33,787 --> 00:17:38,155 - It's a symposium. - That the way you're getting around the police? 319 00:17:38,224 --> 00:17:42,793 - Yes, that's the way. - Are you taking Miss Jones with you? 320 00:17:42,862 --> 00:17:45,997 Well, if you heard everything else, you must have heard that. 321 00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:47,998 No, the wind shifted about that time. 322 00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:50,501 The only thing I could get was two cows over at Ben Miller's, 323 00:17:50,570 --> 00:17:52,503 and they weren't saying anything interesting. 324 00:17:52,572 --> 00:17:55,539 Just for your information, it wasn't a fight, it was a discussion. 325 00:17:55,608 --> 00:17:58,875 And I am going to the symposium by myself. 326 00:17:58,944 --> 00:18:01,378 And you're leaving Mrs. Douglas alone? 327 00:18:01,447 --> 00:18:04,648 No. Tony is going to stay with her. Oh. 328 00:18:04,717 --> 00:18:07,985 Well, if I were going to pick a handsome, charming man to stay... 329 00:18:08,053 --> 00:18:10,154 and kiss my wife's hand while I was away, 330 00:18:10,223 --> 00:18:12,156 he'd be my choice too. 331 00:18:12,225 --> 00:18:14,191 What do you mean by that? 332 00:18:14,260 --> 00:18:16,493 Oh, nothing, nothing. 333 00:18:16,562 --> 00:18:18,996 He sure is a real Romeo. 334 00:18:19,065 --> 00:18:22,333 Did you see the spaces he has between his teeth? 335 00:18:22,401 --> 00:18:25,937 - A lot of women think-- - I know what a lot of women think. 336 00:18:26,005 --> 00:18:27,938 - And you're not worried? - Of course not. 337 00:18:28,007 --> 00:18:30,173 Oh, boy. 338 00:18:30,243 --> 00:18:33,344 Mr. Kimball, I don't like what you're implying. 339 00:18:33,412 --> 00:18:35,846 Oh, I'm not implying anything. Good! 340 00:18:35,914 --> 00:18:38,515 Say, did you hear what happened over at Crabwell Corners? No. 341 00:18:38,584 --> 00:18:42,185 Nothing. Nothing ever happens over at Crabwell Corners. 342 00:18:42,255 --> 00:18:44,187 But Pixley, yeah, there's a wild town. 343 00:18:44,257 --> 00:18:46,257 Oh, yes, yes. Pixley really swings. 344 00:18:46,325 --> 00:18:48,525 Clint Swenson went to this convention by himself. 345 00:18:48,594 --> 00:18:51,195 Wouldn't take his wife, and when he came back, 346 00:18:51,264 --> 00:18:53,931 he found his wife had run off with a surveyor. 347 00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:56,233 Mr. Kimball, I am not the least bit-- 348 00:18:56,302 --> 00:18:58,236 Oh, well, there's no connection. 349 00:18:58,304 --> 00:19:01,372 Tony's just a good-looking hired hand, 350 00:19:01,440 --> 00:19:03,707 and well, the other fella was a surveyor. 351 00:19:03,776 --> 00:19:05,809 Look, I have heard about all I need-- 352 00:19:05,879 --> 00:19:09,313 Mr. Douglas, your boundary fence is rather crooked. 353 00:19:09,382 --> 00:19:11,983 If you like, I'd be happy to survey it for you. 354 00:19:12,051 --> 00:19:16,453 Well, have a nice trip. 355 00:19:33,906 --> 00:19:37,007 Uh, Lisa, I know this is a stupid question, 356 00:19:37,076 --> 00:19:39,843 But what-- I mean, what do you think you're doing? 357 00:19:39,912 --> 00:19:41,845 I'm pressing your pants... 358 00:19:41,914 --> 00:19:44,515 so they'll be easy to pack in your suitcase for your trip. 359 00:19:44,584 --> 00:19:49,019 Lisa, you don't-- I did your coat already. The vest is inside. 360 00:19:49,088 --> 00:19:52,122 Why didn't you just send it to Pixley, like you always do? 361 00:19:52,191 --> 00:19:55,759 I was afraid you wouldn't get it back in time for you to leave tomorrow. 362 00:19:55,828 --> 00:19:59,463 - I'm not leaving till Friday. - I thought you might want to leave early. 363 00:19:59,532 --> 00:20:01,499 Are you trying to get rid of me? 364 00:20:01,567 --> 00:20:04,034 Of course not, darling. 365 00:20:04,103 --> 00:20:07,037 Would you please unplug the iron? Yeah. 366 00:20:07,106 --> 00:20:09,273 Uh, what are you plugged in at? Number six. 367 00:20:11,344 --> 00:20:14,378 Oh, when do you think you will leave? I told you, Friday. 368 00:20:14,447 --> 00:20:18,382 Well, in case I don't see you before you go, have a good time. 369 00:20:18,451 --> 00:20:20,884 Why wouldn't you see me? 370 00:20:20,953 --> 00:20:26,123 Lisa, would you like to come with me? 371 00:20:26,192 --> 00:20:29,693 - Where are you going? - To the symposium. 372 00:20:29,762 --> 00:20:32,696 - Do you really want me to go with you? - Yes, I do. 373 00:20:32,765 --> 00:20:34,998 I don't want to. 374 00:20:35,067 --> 00:20:38,402 I think you ought to go ahead, enjoy yourself, and don't worry about me. 375 00:20:38,471 --> 00:20:40,471 I'll be in good hands with Tony. 376 00:20:40,540 --> 00:20:42,306 What do you mean, in good hands? 377 00:20:42,375 --> 00:20:44,908 I mean that-- What do you want me to do with your suitcases, old boy? 378 00:20:44,978 --> 00:20:48,145 Well, I-- I asked Tony to clean them up for you. 379 00:20:48,214 --> 00:20:51,014 - Hear you're leaving soon. - Where did you hear that? 380 00:20:51,084 --> 00:20:54,485 Well, I just assumed you were anxious to get to your stag party. 381 00:20:54,554 --> 00:20:58,655 It's not a symposium, it's a stag-- 382 00:20:58,724 --> 00:21:01,759 Well, that's what he said. I know what he said. 383 00:21:01,827 --> 00:21:03,761 Whatever it is, have a good time, 384 00:21:03,829 --> 00:21:05,829 and don't give a thought to Mrs. Douglas. 385 00:21:05,898 --> 00:21:07,831 I'll take good care of her. 386 00:21:07,900 --> 00:21:10,334 What do you mean by that? Nothing, old boy. 387 00:21:10,403 --> 00:21:13,737 - Stop calling me that. - No offense, old chap. 388 00:21:13,806 --> 00:21:17,073 - And don't call me that either. - I say, what's wrong, old man? 389 00:21:17,142 --> 00:21:19,076 It's the "old" he objects to-- 390 00:21:19,144 --> 00:21:21,378 especially when there are younger men around. 391 00:21:22,681 --> 00:21:25,549 Put those suitcases down. Right-o. 392 00:21:25,618 --> 00:21:28,452 Is there anything else? No, thank you. 393 00:21:29,689 --> 00:21:31,622 Well, you weren't very nice to him-- 394 00:21:31,691 --> 00:21:35,259 especially now that he's going to take over for you while you're away. 395 00:21:35,328 --> 00:21:39,062 Nobody's taking over for me. 396 00:21:39,131 --> 00:21:41,732 Why do you jump on everything I say? 397 00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:44,468 Are you jealous? 398 00:21:44,537 --> 00:21:48,739 - Oh, don't be ridiculous. - Well, you're pretty burned up about something. 399 00:21:48,808 --> 00:21:51,575 - I'm not burned up. - Then why are you smoking? 400 00:21:51,644 --> 00:21:54,878 I'm not-- [ Sniffs ] 401 00:21:56,215 --> 00:21:59,583 Hey! Ooh! You must have unplugged the wrong plug. 402 00:21:59,652 --> 00:22:01,752 You said it was plugged into a six. 403 00:22:01,820 --> 00:22:04,221 Well, I changed my mind. Must be the icebox. 404 00:22:04,290 --> 00:22:06,590 How do you know it's not the washing machine? 405 00:22:06,659 --> 00:22:09,793 Because the refrigerator is "defrostrating." 406 00:22:14,299 --> 00:22:16,233 Oh, that miserable-- 407 00:22:16,301 --> 00:22:18,201 As long as the iron is still hot, 408 00:22:18,270 --> 00:22:21,238 is there anything else you want me to press? 409 00:22:22,608 --> 00:22:24,541 Then you're really going? 410 00:22:24,610 --> 00:22:26,543 Yes, I'm really going. 411 00:22:26,612 --> 00:22:28,679 For a while there I thought you were jealous. 412 00:22:28,748 --> 00:22:32,115 For a while I was listening to those stupid insinuations. 413 00:22:32,184 --> 00:22:34,251 Then you're not worried about leaving me here... 414 00:22:34,320 --> 00:22:38,088 with a handsome chair-pusher with the spaces in his teeth? 415 00:22:38,157 --> 00:22:40,491 - No. - You don't care? 416 00:22:41,961 --> 00:22:44,895 Watch it. Of course I care. 417 00:22:44,964 --> 00:22:47,431 I trust you. Why? 418 00:22:47,500 --> 00:22:49,366 Because we've been married all these years, 419 00:22:49,435 --> 00:22:51,302 and I have no reason not to trust you. 420 00:22:51,370 --> 00:22:54,037 That doesn't do a woman's echo any good. 421 00:22:54,106 --> 00:22:58,341 - Ego. - Aren't you even a little bit jealous? 422 00:22:58,410 --> 00:23:01,311 - No. - You're pretty sure of yourself. 423 00:23:01,380 --> 00:23:04,981 - Why shouldn't I be? - You just take a woman for granite. 424 00:23:05,050 --> 00:23:07,818 No, I don't take you for granite. 425 00:23:07,886 --> 00:23:10,220 Then why don't you show a little jealousy? 426 00:23:10,289 --> 00:23:12,222 Would that make you happy? 427 00:23:12,291 --> 00:23:14,358 Well, it wouldn't make me unhappy. 428 00:23:14,427 --> 00:23:16,527 All right. Anything to make you happy. 429 00:23:16,595 --> 00:23:18,862 No, no, no. It's not to make me unhappy. 430 00:23:18,931 --> 00:23:21,532 All right, I've got about 15 minutes. 431 00:23:21,600 --> 00:23:24,034 Would it help if I shot Tony? 432 00:23:24,102 --> 00:23:26,203 Well, that would show a little emotion. 433 00:23:26,271 --> 00:23:29,573 Fine. Do you know where my gun is? You wouldn't do that. 434 00:23:29,642 --> 00:23:32,209 I might, if I were really jealous of him. 435 00:23:32,278 --> 00:23:36,079 You mean that? Of course. Lisa, I love you. 436 00:23:36,148 --> 00:23:38,582 I'm not gonna let anybody take you away from me. 437 00:23:38,651 --> 00:23:41,585 That's all I wanted to hear. I'll see you Tuesday. 438 00:23:41,654 --> 00:23:44,087 Where are you going? To the symposium. 439 00:23:44,156 --> 00:23:46,523 And you're going to leave me all alone with Tony? 440 00:23:46,592 --> 00:23:51,061 Okay. Lisa, I want you to come with me. 441 00:23:51,130 --> 00:23:53,264 Please come with me. 442 00:23:53,332 --> 00:23:55,866 Well-- 443 00:23:55,934 --> 00:23:58,001 Pack your bags. They're already packed. 444 00:23:58,070 --> 00:24:00,236 What? Tony put them in the car. 445 00:24:00,305 --> 00:24:03,841 Oh, for-- How long will it take you to change your clothes? 446 00:24:03,909 --> 00:24:05,843 Not long. 447 00:24:06,846 --> 00:24:08,779 Come on. 448 00:24:11,484 --> 00:24:13,684 Did he take her? 449 00:24:13,752 --> 00:24:16,787 Gee, I don't know. The wind changed. 450 00:24:52,658 --> 00:24:54,991 [ Lisa ] This has been a Filmways presentation, darling. 41606

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