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[ Oliver ]♪ Green Acres ♪
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00:00:19,386 --> 00:00:21,686
♪ Is the place to be ♪
3
00:00:21,755 --> 00:00:25,557
♪ Farm livin' is the life for me ♪
4
00:00:25,625 --> 00:00:29,661
♪ Land spreadin' out so far and wide ♪
5
00:00:29,729 --> 00:00:33,398
♪ Keep Manhattan Just give me that countryside ♪
6
00:00:33,467 --> 00:00:37,502
[ Lisa ] ♪ New York is where I'd rather stay ♪
7
00:00:37,571 --> 00:00:41,673
♪ I get allergic smelling hay ♪
8
00:00:41,741 --> 00:00:45,177
♪ I just adore a penthouse view ♪
9
00:00:45,246 --> 00:00:48,346
♪ Darling, I love you but give me Park Avenue ♪
10
00:00:50,817 --> 00:00:52,884
♪ The chores ♪
11
00:00:52,953 --> 00:00:54,919
♪ The stores ♪
12
00:00:54,989 --> 00:00:57,890
- ♪ Fresh air ♪ - ♪ Times Square ♪
13
00:00:57,958 --> 00:01:02,327
- ♪ You are my wife ♪ - ♪ Good-bye, city life ♪
14
00:01:02,396 --> 00:01:05,897
[ Together ]♪ Green Acres, we are there ♪♪
15
00:01:17,644 --> 00:01:19,578
Lisa, you're not going.And I say I am.
16
00:01:19,646 --> 00:01:22,314
You're not.
I am.
17
00:01:22,382 --> 00:01:26,551
I am going into Drucker's,
and I'll discuss it
with you later.
18
00:01:26,620 --> 00:01:29,221
But Oliver--
Later.
19
00:01:38,632 --> 00:01:40,898
It's later.
Do you want
to discuss it now?
20
00:01:40,967 --> 00:01:42,900
How did you--
Do you want to discuss it?
21
00:01:42,969 --> 00:01:44,902
No.
22
00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:49,073
Oliver.
23
00:01:49,142 --> 00:01:51,676
Lisa, you are not going,
and that's final.
24
00:01:51,745 --> 00:01:54,579
Well, I have a final
of my own.
I am going.
25
00:01:54,648 --> 00:01:56,914
I explained to you
why I can't take you.
26
00:01:56,983 --> 00:01:58,916
Would you explain it again?
No.
27
00:01:58,985 --> 00:02:01,253
You forgot
the phony story
you made up.
28
00:02:01,321 --> 00:02:06,224
It is not phony.
None of the other men
are taking their wives.
29
00:02:06,293 --> 00:02:08,693
Why not?
30
00:02:08,762 --> 00:02:11,196
Lisa, will you stop
bumping into me?
31
00:02:11,265 --> 00:02:13,531
Well, your taillight
isn't working.
32
00:02:13,600 --> 00:02:15,868
I'll get it fixed.
33
00:02:15,936 --> 00:02:19,204
Hold it.
Oh, for--
34
00:02:19,273 --> 00:02:22,074
Well, you didn't
explain it to me.
Why not?
35
00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:24,209
Why not what?
36
00:02:24,278 --> 00:02:27,379
Why not aren't the other fellas
taking their wives? Why?
37
00:02:27,447 --> 00:02:30,082
Because it's strictly
for men.
38
00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:32,484
Oh! It's a stag party.
39
00:02:32,553 --> 00:02:34,486
No, it's not a stag party.
40
00:02:34,555 --> 00:02:36,588
It's a farm symposium.
41
00:02:36,656 --> 00:02:40,825
- What's a symposium?
- Well, a lot of men
sit around a long table--
42
00:02:40,894 --> 00:02:43,061
And a girl
comes out of the cake.
43
00:02:43,130 --> 00:02:46,164
No, no girl comes
out of a cake.
44
00:02:46,233 --> 00:02:50,235
- What does she come out of?
- Lisa, it's just a bunch
of farmers...
45
00:02:50,304 --> 00:02:53,771
sitting around a table
discussing farm problems.
46
00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:57,075
But, Oliver, I'm not
going to stay here
all by myself.
47
00:02:57,144 --> 00:02:59,912
Why not?
You've done it before.
That was different.
48
00:02:59,980 --> 00:03:02,480
Eb was here,
and he wasn't away
on his honeymoon.
49
00:03:02,549 --> 00:03:05,350
Oh, yes.
Well, I'll tell you
what I'll do.
50
00:03:05,419 --> 00:03:07,352
When I'm in Drucker's,
I'll see if I can
get somebody...
51
00:03:07,421 --> 00:03:09,354
to come out here
and stay with you.
52
00:03:09,423 --> 00:03:13,525
- You mean a babysitter?
- No, I mean a hired hand.
53
00:03:13,594 --> 00:03:16,694
I've gotta get somebody
to help out here
until Eb comes back.
54
00:03:16,763 --> 00:03:18,430
I'll see you later.
Oliver?
55
00:03:18,498 --> 00:03:20,698
- Yes?
- I understand how you feel.
56
00:03:20,767 --> 00:03:23,201
If all the other fellas
aren't bringing their wives...
57
00:03:23,270 --> 00:03:26,838
and you showed up with yours,
they'd think you were
henpecked.
58
00:03:26,906 --> 00:03:29,207
- Yes, they would.
- Well, I can fix that.
59
00:03:29,276 --> 00:03:33,211
I'll make the hotel reservation
for Mr. Douglas and Miss Jones.
60
00:03:33,280 --> 00:03:35,513
Good-bye.
61
00:03:45,892 --> 00:03:48,293
[ Grunting ]
62
00:03:49,796 --> 00:03:52,063
Oh, come on, Arnold.
Make up your mind.
63
00:03:52,131 --> 00:03:55,299
Sam ain't got all day.
Which lunch box
do you want?
64
00:03:55,369 --> 00:03:57,469
[ Grunting ]
65
00:03:57,537 --> 00:04:00,172
Ah, good morning.
Good morning, Mr. Douglas.
66
00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:03,174
- Good morning, Arnold.
- [ Grunting ]
67
00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:07,679
Mr. Douglas, which lunch box
do you think Arnold
oughta have?
68
00:04:07,748 --> 00:04:10,348
Oh, that
square one's nice.
69
00:04:10,417 --> 00:04:13,085
[ Squealing ]
70
00:04:13,153 --> 00:04:16,020
I guess you and Arnold
ain't got the same taste.
71
00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:19,224
Well, Arnold,
you better get going now.
72
00:04:19,293 --> 00:04:22,427
You're 15 minutes late
for class.
73
00:04:22,496 --> 00:04:25,530
And, Arnold, be sure
and put your name
on that lunch box...
74
00:04:25,599 --> 00:04:27,599
so you don't lose it.
75
00:04:27,667 --> 00:04:30,502
Darn kids
are so careless.
Yeah.
76
00:04:30,571 --> 00:04:33,037
I say, where do you
want this, Mr. Drucker?
77
00:04:33,107 --> 00:04:35,840
Oh, right over there
by the stove.
78
00:04:35,909 --> 00:04:38,576
- What can I do for you,
Mr. Douglas?
- Well, I--
79
00:04:38,645 --> 00:04:40,645
[ Squealing ]
80
00:04:43,250 --> 00:04:46,818
Forgot to put his lunch
in his box.
Yeah, well--
81
00:04:46,886 --> 00:04:48,886
Is there anything else
I can do around here,
Mr. Drucker?
82
00:04:48,955 --> 00:04:51,723
Oh, uh, no.
No, that's a fine pile
of wood.
83
00:04:51,792 --> 00:04:53,725
Help yourself
to some canned goods, Tony.
84
00:04:53,794 --> 00:04:56,528
Oh, Mr. Douglas,
this is Tony Ashley.
How do you do?
85
00:04:56,596 --> 00:04:58,530
How do you do?
Tony's from England.
86
00:04:58,598 --> 00:05:01,265
He's tramping
across the country,
writing a book about America.
87
00:05:01,335 --> 00:05:03,835
Oh, well, he oughta get
Mr. Douglas to help him.
88
00:05:03,904 --> 00:05:06,504
He's always making speeches
about the American farmer.
89
00:05:06,573 --> 00:05:09,173
Well, I--
Do that one
about the battling farmer...
90
00:05:09,242 --> 00:05:11,543
standing on the bridge
shooting at the British.
91
00:05:11,611 --> 00:05:13,945
No offense.
92
00:05:14,014 --> 00:05:17,482
Mr. Ziffel, it's not
a speech about shooting
at the British.
93
00:05:17,551 --> 00:05:19,484
No offense.
94
00:05:19,553 --> 00:05:23,155
It's a poem--
"The Concord Hymn,"
by Ralph Waldo Emerson.
95
00:05:23,223 --> 00:05:25,156
Oh, you mean, uh--
96
00:05:25,225 --> 00:05:28,025
"By the rude bridge
that arched the flood,
97
00:05:28,094 --> 00:05:31,529
"their flag to April's breeze
unfurled.
98
00:05:31,598 --> 00:05:34,532
"Here once the embattled
farmers stood,
99
00:05:34,601 --> 00:05:38,303
and fired the shot
heard round the world."
100
00:05:38,372 --> 00:05:41,506
Doggone.
You sure say that
better than Mr. Douglas.
101
00:05:41,575 --> 00:05:45,076
- No offense.
- [ Muttering ]
102
00:05:45,145 --> 00:05:48,880
Mr. Douglas has another one--
about planting the seeds
in the rich brown earth,
103
00:05:48,948 --> 00:05:51,649
and watching 'em shoot up
towards the sun and the sky.
104
00:05:51,718 --> 00:05:53,451
I don't believe
I know that one.
105
00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:55,554
Well, you wouldn't want
to hear him say it.
106
00:05:55,622 --> 00:05:58,557
It's pretty dull.
Mr. Drucker--
107
00:05:58,625 --> 00:06:03,528
I wonder if Arnold
remembered to take his napkins.
108
00:06:03,597 --> 00:06:06,030
Mr. Drucker, is there
anybody else around here...
109
00:06:06,099 --> 00:06:08,433
who might need
some odd jobs performed?
110
00:06:08,502 --> 00:06:10,435
Uh, Mr. Douglas might.
111
00:06:10,504 --> 00:06:13,638
You said you was looking
for somebody temporary
to fill in for Eb.
112
00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:16,608
Well, yes, I am.
Have you ever worked
on a farm?
113
00:06:16,677 --> 00:06:18,710
My uncle owned
a dairy farm
near Cheltenham.
114
00:06:18,778 --> 00:06:23,014
- Well, I do need somebody.
- Why don't you give him
a chance, Mr. Douglas?
115
00:06:23,083 --> 00:06:25,117
Yeah. He couldn't do
no worse than you do.
116
00:06:27,087 --> 00:06:30,188
Well, if you want to,
we'll give it a try.
117
00:06:32,259 --> 00:06:34,192
Lisa. Lisa?
118
00:06:34,261 --> 00:06:36,561
Oh, Oliver.
Oh. Oliver--
119
00:06:36,630 --> 00:06:38,697
I called the hotel
in the state capital,
120
00:06:38,765 --> 00:06:43,000
and they didn't have two rooms,
so I reserved one
for you and Miss Jones.
121
00:06:44,371 --> 00:06:47,238
Uh, that's me,
otherwise known as Mrs. Douglas.
122
00:06:47,307 --> 00:06:49,774
Lisa, this is Tony Ashley.
123
00:06:49,843 --> 00:06:53,345
Tony, this is my wife,
"Miss Jones."
How do you do?
124
00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:56,214
- How do I do what?
- Uh--
125
00:06:56,282 --> 00:06:59,718
Lisa, Tony's
gonna work here
for a couple of weeks.
126
00:06:59,786 --> 00:07:02,053
Oh? Are you going to be
my babysitter?
127
00:07:02,121 --> 00:07:06,191
Well, I--
Uh, what my wife means is,
I wanted somebody...
128
00:07:06,260 --> 00:07:09,327
to be here while I was
at the symposium
up at the state capital.
129
00:07:09,396 --> 00:07:13,331
- That's a stag party
with farmers.
- It's not a--
130
00:07:13,400 --> 00:07:16,734
Did anybody ever tell you
that you look like David Niven?
131
00:07:16,803 --> 00:07:19,537
Uh, no, they haven't.
132
00:07:19,606 --> 00:07:23,041
I don't think so either
because you spell
your name differently.
133
00:07:24,311 --> 00:07:26,678
You can see
why I'm afraid
to leave her alone.
134
00:07:26,746 --> 00:07:29,514
Come on, Tony.
I'll show you where
you're going to sleep.
135
00:07:29,583 --> 00:07:32,050
Fine.
Charmed to have met you.
136
00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:35,920
- Glad to have you abroad.
- "Abroad"?
137
00:07:35,989 --> 00:07:40,524
You're what this farm
has always needed--
a good hand kisser.
138
00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:49,534
Oh, Lisa, I'm starved.
Is it--
139
00:07:49,603 --> 00:07:53,538
What are you using
all the good silver for?
Why, this is for Tony.
140
00:07:53,607 --> 00:07:55,840
He's English,
and this is the way they eat.
141
00:07:55,909 --> 00:07:58,209
They're very proper.
Oh.
142
00:07:58,278 --> 00:08:01,345
Well, maybe I should have
put on a clean pair
of spats.
143
00:08:01,415 --> 00:08:04,315
How's Tony doing?
Oh, fine.
144
00:08:04,384 --> 00:08:06,317
He's a good worker.
145
00:08:06,386 --> 00:08:08,319
I hope he stays
till Eb gets back.
146
00:08:08,388 --> 00:08:10,321
What's for lunch?
147
00:08:10,390 --> 00:08:12,890
Hotcakes.
148
00:08:12,959 --> 00:08:15,827
Well, maybe I can
find somebody else.
149
00:08:15,896 --> 00:08:17,995
I'm sorry I'm late.
150
00:08:18,064 --> 00:08:19,997
[ Lisa ] Oh, that's all right.
151
00:08:20,066 --> 00:08:23,668
It's nice to see a man
wearing a jacket for lunch.
152
00:08:23,737 --> 00:08:26,504
Isn't it, Oliver?
Yes.
Looks very nice.
153
00:08:26,573 --> 00:08:29,574
I think everybody
should wear a jacket
for lunch.
154
00:08:29,643 --> 00:08:31,843
If you'd like
to wear one,
go ahead.
155
00:08:31,912 --> 00:08:34,345
Won't you sit down,
please?
Oh. May I?
156
00:08:34,414 --> 00:08:36,347
Thank you.
157
00:08:36,416 --> 00:08:38,850
Tony, after lunch
I think we ought
to start--
158
00:08:38,919 --> 00:08:42,787
I hope you noticed
what Tony just did,
Mr. Douglas.
159
00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:46,490
Uh, yes, I did.
I think we ought to start
near the south fence.
160
00:08:46,559 --> 00:08:50,028
We certainly don't have
any trouble telling who is
the gentleman in this room.
161
00:08:50,096 --> 00:08:52,329
Look, Lisa--
162
00:08:52,398 --> 00:08:54,365
I say, I didn't mean
to cause any friction.
163
00:08:54,434 --> 00:08:56,367
Oh, no, it's not your fault.
164
00:08:56,436 --> 00:08:58,870
My wife's a little miffed at me
because I'm going to this
farm symposium,
165
00:08:58,939 --> 00:09:00,972
and I'm not taking her
with me.
166
00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:04,676
- If you were going, would you
take your wife with you?
- Well--
167
00:09:04,744 --> 00:09:07,479
Lisa, it's not fair
to put him in a spot
like that.
168
00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:10,649
Oh, I'm sorry.
Would you like
to have some hotcakes?
169
00:09:10,717 --> 00:09:13,485
It's not fair to put him
in a spot like that either.
170
00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:16,521
- Oliver.
- Lisa, will you please
get the coffee?
171
00:09:16,590 --> 00:09:19,657
- Are you going to pull
the chair out for me?
- No.
172
00:09:19,726 --> 00:09:23,027
Well, I just
wanted to show Tony
that you're not all bad.
173
00:09:23,096 --> 00:09:25,897
Would you care for some,
Mr. Douglas?
174
00:09:25,965 --> 00:09:28,900
Uh, no thanks.
I've eaten here before.
175
00:09:35,542 --> 00:09:37,976
You're only going to end up
with a bent fork.
176
00:09:38,044 --> 00:09:42,246
- [ Whispering ]
What do you suggest?
- The Pixley Diner.
177
00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:45,983
Which would you rather have,
coffee or tea?
178
00:09:46,052 --> 00:09:49,721
Tea, if you don't mind.
Thank you.
179
00:09:54,761 --> 00:09:57,495
I hope it won't be
too strong for you.
180
00:09:57,564 --> 00:10:00,164
Lisa, you make tea
with hot water.
181
00:10:00,233 --> 00:10:02,434
What do you think
I made the coffee with?
182
00:10:02,502 --> 00:10:04,435
How many lumps?
183
00:10:17,283 --> 00:10:19,383
Oliver?
Mm-hmm?
184
00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:21,720
- I want to talk to you.
- Mm-hmm.
185
00:10:21,788 --> 00:10:24,756
- Are you listening?
- Mm-hmm.
186
00:10:24,824 --> 00:10:27,359
The baby is coming.
187
00:10:27,427 --> 00:10:29,594
That's nice.
188
00:10:29,663 --> 00:10:32,596
You better go
and boil some water.
189
00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:42,240
He's a good man
to have around
in a crisis.
190
00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:55,086
Oliver?
Mm-hmm?
191
00:10:55,155 --> 00:10:57,789
What you doing?
I'm boiling some hot water.
192
00:10:57,857 --> 00:11:00,558
- What for?
- You're going to have a baby.
193
00:11:00,627 --> 00:11:03,627
I already had it.
194
00:11:03,697 --> 00:11:06,063
Would you mind
heating up some milk?
195
00:11:06,132 --> 00:11:08,066
Sure.
196
00:11:11,337 --> 00:11:13,337
What do you mean,
you had a baby?
197
00:11:13,406 --> 00:11:15,773
I knew
you weren't listening.
198
00:11:15,842 --> 00:11:18,877
Lisa, I'm trying to digest
these figures...
199
00:11:18,945 --> 00:11:22,747
so I can speak intelligently
at the stag--
I mean, the symposium.
200
00:11:22,816 --> 00:11:24,849
That's what I want
to talk to you about.
201
00:11:24,918 --> 00:11:28,319
Lisa, we had that all out.
Now, you're not going with me.
202
00:11:28,388 --> 00:11:31,956
- I don't want to go.
- I am not going to change
my mind.
203
00:11:32,025 --> 00:11:35,726
- That's okay with me.
- I don't care how you nag me,
I'm not--
204
00:11:35,795 --> 00:11:38,796
What do you mean,
you don't want to go?
205
00:11:38,865 --> 00:11:41,232
Well, you see, the reason
I wanted to go was,
206
00:11:41,301 --> 00:11:44,068
because with Eb away,
I didn't want
to stay here alone,
207
00:11:44,137 --> 00:11:47,605
but now that Tony is here,
I feel safer.
208
00:11:47,674 --> 00:11:49,841
Oh. Well, good.
209
00:11:49,909 --> 00:11:52,310
He's got very good manners.
210
00:11:52,378 --> 00:11:55,012
Yes, he pushes a nice chair.
211
00:11:55,081 --> 00:11:58,082
He kisses a good hand too.
212
00:11:58,151 --> 00:12:00,451
Do you think he's handsome?
213
00:12:00,520 --> 00:12:03,721
Well, he doesn't
turn me on, but--
214
00:12:03,790 --> 00:12:07,725
Did you notice when he smiles,
what pretty teeth he has?
215
00:12:07,793 --> 00:12:12,196
Oh, I don't notice those things,
ever since I sold
my toothpaste stock.
216
00:12:12,265 --> 00:12:14,698
Well, they're very pretty.
217
00:12:14,767 --> 00:12:17,068
They've got spaces
between them.
218
00:12:17,136 --> 00:12:19,803
A lot of women think
that's very sexy.
219
00:12:19,873 --> 00:12:22,239
Now what's sexy about it?
220
00:12:22,308 --> 00:12:24,575
Well, I'm going
to feel very good...
221
00:12:24,643 --> 00:12:27,478
with you away
and Tony here.
222
00:12:27,546 --> 00:12:29,546
Mm-hmm.
[ Knocking ]
223
00:12:29,615 --> 00:12:33,051
I beg your pardon.
I saw the light on
and, uh--
224
00:12:33,119 --> 00:12:36,220
I see you've got the kettle on.
Are you boiling some water
for some tea?
225
00:12:36,289 --> 00:12:39,057
No, uh, my wife
is having a baby.
226
00:12:39,125 --> 00:12:41,059
Good night.
227
00:12:44,964 --> 00:12:46,898
You grab a hoe.
228
00:12:46,966 --> 00:12:49,066
We'll go out
in the tomato field
and I'll show you what to do.
229
00:12:49,135 --> 00:12:51,068
[ Cow Moos ]
230
00:12:51,137 --> 00:12:53,905
Before you do that,
you better throw some hay
down for Eleanor.
231
00:12:53,973 --> 00:12:55,907
Yes, sir.
232
00:12:55,975 --> 00:12:57,909
[ Vehicle Approaching ]
233
00:13:00,013 --> 00:13:01,946
Ah, Mr. Haney.
234
00:13:02,015 --> 00:13:04,181
I just stopped by
to congratulate you.
235
00:13:04,250 --> 00:13:07,351
Is it a boy
or a girl?
A boy or a girl?
236
00:13:07,420 --> 00:13:10,554
Oh, you don't know yet.
Well, it don't matter.
237
00:13:10,624 --> 00:13:13,925
The little tyke
will soon sleep
happily--
238
00:13:13,993 --> 00:13:17,361
in this magnificent cradle.
239
00:13:17,430 --> 00:13:21,866
What the--
It was originally slept in
by Benjamin Franklin,
240
00:13:21,935 --> 00:13:24,536
in his earlier years,
of course.
241
00:13:24,604 --> 00:13:27,038
What are you talking about?
242
00:13:27,106 --> 00:13:30,542
The infant that Mrs. Douglas
presented you with.
243
00:13:30,610 --> 00:13:33,044
What makes you think
that Mrs.--
244
00:13:33,112 --> 00:13:35,713
Everybody in the valley
heard her hollerin'...
245
00:13:35,782 --> 00:13:38,716
for you to boil
hot water last night.
246
00:13:38,785 --> 00:13:40,718
How could they
have heard that?
247
00:13:40,787 --> 00:13:43,721
Whenever the wind blows
in just the right direction,
248
00:13:43,790 --> 00:13:46,457
you can hear everything
that goes on here.
249
00:13:46,526 --> 00:13:48,560
Mr. Haney, no matter
what you think--
250
00:13:48,628 --> 00:13:50,929
Mr. Douglas,I just fed Eleanor.
Oh.
251
00:13:50,997 --> 00:13:53,565
Eleanor?
Then it's a girl.
252
00:13:53,633 --> 00:13:57,234
Eleanor is the cow's name.
253
00:13:57,303 --> 00:14:01,105
And you named
the baby after her.
How touching.
254
00:14:01,174 --> 00:14:04,642
Mr. Haney, my wife
did not have a baby.
255
00:14:04,710 --> 00:14:08,913
Then why did you hire
this English nanny?
256
00:14:08,982 --> 00:14:10,915
He's not a--
257
00:14:10,984 --> 00:14:12,951
Uh, Mr. Haney,
this is Tony Ashley.
258
00:14:13,019 --> 00:14:14,953
He's filling in for Eb.
259
00:14:15,021 --> 00:14:18,355
Pleased to meet you.
Tony, I'll catch up with you
in the tomato field.
260
00:14:18,424 --> 00:14:21,425
It's over there
by the south fence.
Right-o.
261
00:14:22,929 --> 00:14:26,363
Is he gonna stay here
while you go to that
there symposium?
262
00:14:26,432 --> 00:14:29,033
Yes.
Probably makes you
feel pretty good,
263
00:14:29,102 --> 00:14:32,036
having somebody like that
to look after her
while you're away.
264
00:14:32,105 --> 00:14:34,038
Oh, yeah, yeah.
She's gonna be--
265
00:14:34,107 --> 00:14:36,040
Be a nice change
for the missus too,
266
00:14:36,109 --> 00:14:39,543
to have somebody around
to push her chair,
and kiss her hand.
267
00:14:39,613 --> 00:14:41,713
My wife doesn't really
care about--
268
00:14:41,781 --> 00:14:46,217
She sure must like him,
setting the table with
the good silverware for him.
269
00:14:46,285 --> 00:14:50,054
- How did you--
- That come in
on the previous wind.
270
00:14:51,790 --> 00:14:54,791
Mr. Haney, uh--
He sure is
a handsome feller.
271
00:14:54,860 --> 00:14:56,894
Yes, he is.
272
00:14:56,963 --> 00:15:00,064
Well, I wouldn't worry too much.
273
00:15:00,133 --> 00:15:03,634
- About what?
- I guess it's always
the husband...
274
00:15:03,703 --> 00:15:05,636
who's the last one to know.
275
00:15:05,705 --> 00:15:08,740
Mr. Haney, what are you
talking about?
276
00:15:08,808 --> 00:15:11,742
Well, you have a good time,
and while you're away...
277
00:15:11,811 --> 00:15:14,245
I'll keep my ear
to the wind.
278
00:15:26,759 --> 00:15:29,693
Did you say
these were tomatoes,
old boy?
279
00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:34,065
Of course.
Hmm.
280
00:15:35,468 --> 00:15:37,868
Is there some reason
for growing them so small?
281
00:15:39,272 --> 00:15:42,139
Look, you just
cultivate them, hmm?
282
00:15:42,208 --> 00:15:44,708
I say, what's that
over there?
283
00:15:46,779 --> 00:15:48,880
Corn.
284
00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:52,450
- Is there any reason
for growing it so small?
- Will you please--
285
00:15:52,518 --> 00:15:55,553
Hi, Mr. Douglas.
Oh, hiya, Mr. Kimball.
286
00:15:55,621 --> 00:15:57,721
Yeah, I just walked
through your cabbage patch.
287
00:15:57,790 --> 00:16:00,091
Is there any reason
for growing them this small?
288
00:16:03,096 --> 00:16:06,197
I just asked him
the same thing about
his corn and tomatoes.
289
00:16:06,265 --> 00:16:09,500
You should see his apples.
[ Laughs ]
290
00:16:09,569 --> 00:16:12,503
Oh, I don't think
we've been introduced.
Oh, yes, I'm sorry.
291
00:16:12,572 --> 00:16:15,173
This is Tony Ashley.
Tony, this is Hank Kimball.
292
00:16:15,241 --> 00:16:18,242
He's our county agent.
Pleased to make your
acquaintance, old chap.
293
00:16:18,311 --> 00:16:21,112
- Oh, you have an accent.
- Oh, yes, Tony's from--
294
00:16:21,181 --> 00:16:23,681
Don't tell me.
I got a great ear for accents.
295
00:16:23,750 --> 00:16:27,118
No, it's this one.
296
00:16:27,186 --> 00:16:31,055
- You mind saying something?
- What would you like
to hear me say, old boy?
297
00:16:31,124 --> 00:16:34,892
Got it. Nebraska--
I'd say around Omaha.
298
00:16:36,295 --> 00:16:39,296
- Cheltenham, England.
- Oh, Kansas.
299
00:16:40,466 --> 00:16:42,400
I got a lot of friends
in Kansas.
300
00:16:42,468 --> 00:16:45,036
Uh, well, not a lot.
There's uh-- Uh--
301
00:16:45,104 --> 00:16:47,538
No, he was from South Dakota.
302
00:16:47,606 --> 00:16:50,274
Come to think of it,
I don't think I've ever
been in Kansas.
303
00:16:50,343 --> 00:16:53,311
I'd be glad to raise
the money for a trip.
304
00:16:53,379 --> 00:16:57,181
That's very nice of you.
No, it isn't.
You're trying to get rid of me.
305
00:16:57,250 --> 00:17:00,784
If you'll excuse me,
I'd better get to work.
306
00:17:00,854 --> 00:17:02,786
Nice fella.
307
00:17:02,855 --> 00:17:05,156
Yes. He's gonna work
around here for a while.
308
00:17:05,224 --> 00:17:07,825
He is?
Oh! Before I forget--
309
00:17:09,528 --> 00:17:11,462
Forget what?
310
00:17:11,530 --> 00:17:13,764
I forgot.
311
00:17:13,832 --> 00:17:15,766
- Look--
- I'm only human.
312
00:17:15,834 --> 00:17:20,371
- Who told you that?
- Uh, I forget.
313
00:17:21,441 --> 00:17:23,374
Oh, now I remember.
314
00:17:23,443 --> 00:17:25,977
Hey, that was quite
a fight you had upwind
with Mrs. Douglas yesterday.
315
00:17:26,045 --> 00:17:28,612
- Look, Mr. Kimball--
- I didn't mean to eavesdrop,
316
00:17:28,681 --> 00:17:31,015
but you were yelling
and the wind was blowing--
317
00:17:31,084 --> 00:17:33,717
Well, why don't
you want to take her
to the stag party with you?
318
00:17:33,787 --> 00:17:38,155
- It's a symposium.
- That the way you're
getting around the police?
319
00:17:38,224 --> 00:17:42,793
- Yes, that's the way.
- Are you taking Miss Jones
with you?
320
00:17:42,862 --> 00:17:45,997
Well, if you heard
everything else,
you must have heard that.
321
00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:47,998
No, the wind shifted
about that time.
322
00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:50,501
The only thing I could get
was two cows over
at Ben Miller's,
323
00:17:50,570 --> 00:17:52,503
and they weren't saying
anything interesting.
324
00:17:52,572 --> 00:17:55,539
Just for your information,
it wasn't a fight,
it was a discussion.
325
00:17:55,608 --> 00:17:58,875
And I am going
to the symposium
by myself.
326
00:17:58,944 --> 00:18:01,378
And you're leaving
Mrs. Douglas alone?
327
00:18:01,447 --> 00:18:04,648
No. Tony is going
to stay with her.
Oh.
328
00:18:04,717 --> 00:18:07,985
Well, if I were going
to pick a handsome,
charming man to stay...
329
00:18:08,053 --> 00:18:10,154
and kiss my wife's hand
while I was away,
330
00:18:10,223 --> 00:18:12,156
he'd be my choice too.
331
00:18:12,225 --> 00:18:14,191
What do you mean
by that?
332
00:18:14,260 --> 00:18:16,493
Oh, nothing, nothing.
333
00:18:16,562 --> 00:18:18,996
He sure is a real Romeo.
334
00:18:19,065 --> 00:18:22,333
Did you see the spaces
he has between his teeth?
335
00:18:22,401 --> 00:18:25,937
- A lot of women think--
- I know what a lot
of women think.
336
00:18:26,005 --> 00:18:27,938
- And you're not worried?
- Of course not.
337
00:18:28,007 --> 00:18:30,173
Oh, boy.
338
00:18:30,243 --> 00:18:33,344
Mr. Kimball, I don't like
what you're implying.
339
00:18:33,412 --> 00:18:35,846
Oh, I'm not implying
anything.
Good!
340
00:18:35,914 --> 00:18:38,515
Say, did you hear what happened
over at Crabwell Corners?
No.
341
00:18:38,584 --> 00:18:42,185
Nothing.
Nothing ever happens
over at Crabwell Corners.
342
00:18:42,255 --> 00:18:44,187
But Pixley, yeah,
there's a wild town.
343
00:18:44,257 --> 00:18:46,257
Oh, yes, yes.
Pixley really swings.
344
00:18:46,325 --> 00:18:48,525
Clint Swenson went
to this convention
by himself.
345
00:18:48,594 --> 00:18:51,195
Wouldn't take his wife,
and when he came back,
346
00:18:51,264 --> 00:18:53,931
he found his wife
had run off with a surveyor.
347
00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:56,233
Mr. Kimball,
I am not the least bit--
348
00:18:56,302 --> 00:18:58,236
Oh, well,
there's no connection.
349
00:18:58,304 --> 00:19:01,372
Tony's just
a good-looking hired hand,
350
00:19:01,440 --> 00:19:03,707
and well, the other fella
was a surveyor.
351
00:19:03,776 --> 00:19:05,809
Look, I have heard
about all I need--
352
00:19:05,879 --> 00:19:09,313
Mr. Douglas, your boundary fence is rather crooked.
353
00:19:09,382 --> 00:19:11,983
If you like,
I'd be happy
to survey it for you.
354
00:19:12,051 --> 00:19:16,453
Well,
have a nice trip.
355
00:19:33,906 --> 00:19:37,007
Uh, Lisa,
I know this is
a stupid question,
356
00:19:37,076 --> 00:19:39,843
But what-- I mean, what do you think you're doing?
357
00:19:39,912 --> 00:19:41,845
I'm pressing your pants...
358
00:19:41,914 --> 00:19:44,515
so they'll be easy
to pack in your suitcase
for your trip.
359
00:19:44,584 --> 00:19:49,019
Lisa, you don't--
I did your coat already.
The vest is inside.
360
00:19:49,088 --> 00:19:52,122
Why didn't you just
send it to Pixley,
like you always do?
361
00:19:52,191 --> 00:19:55,759
I was afraid you wouldn't
get it back in time
for you to leave tomorrow.
362
00:19:55,828 --> 00:19:59,463
- I'm not leaving till Friday.
- I thought you might want
to leave early.
363
00:19:59,532 --> 00:20:01,499
Are you trying
to get rid of me?
364
00:20:01,567 --> 00:20:04,034
Of course not, darling.
365
00:20:04,103 --> 00:20:07,037
Would you please
unplug the iron?
Yeah.
366
00:20:07,106 --> 00:20:09,273
Uh, what are you
plugged in at?
Number six.
367
00:20:11,344 --> 00:20:14,378
Oh, when do you think
you will leave?
I told you, Friday.
368
00:20:14,447 --> 00:20:18,382
Well, in case I don't
see you before you go,
have a good time.
369
00:20:18,451 --> 00:20:20,884
Why wouldn't you see me?
370
00:20:20,953 --> 00:20:26,123
Lisa, would you like
to come with me?
371
00:20:26,192 --> 00:20:29,693
- Where are you going?
- To the symposium.
372
00:20:29,762 --> 00:20:32,696
- Do you really want me
to go with you?
- Yes, I do.
373
00:20:32,765 --> 00:20:34,998
I don't want to.
374
00:20:35,067 --> 00:20:38,402
I think you ought to
go ahead, enjoy yourself,
and don't worry about me.
375
00:20:38,471 --> 00:20:40,471
I'll be in good hands
with Tony.
376
00:20:40,540 --> 00:20:42,306
What do you mean,
in good hands?
377
00:20:42,375 --> 00:20:44,908
I mean that--
What do you want me to do
with your suitcases, old boy?
378
00:20:44,978 --> 00:20:48,145
Well, I--
I asked Tony
to clean them up for you.
379
00:20:48,214 --> 00:20:51,014
- Hear you're leaving soon.
- Where did you hear that?
380
00:20:51,084 --> 00:20:54,485
Well, I just assumed
you were anxious to get
to your stag party.
381
00:20:54,554 --> 00:20:58,655
It's not a symposium,
it's a stag--
382
00:20:58,724 --> 00:21:01,759
Well, that's
what he said.
I know what he said.
383
00:21:01,827 --> 00:21:03,761
Whatever it is,
have a good time,
384
00:21:03,829 --> 00:21:05,829
and don't give a thought
to Mrs. Douglas.
385
00:21:05,898 --> 00:21:07,831
I'll take good care
of her.
386
00:21:07,900 --> 00:21:10,334
What do you mean
by that?
Nothing, old boy.
387
00:21:10,403 --> 00:21:13,737
- Stop calling me that.
- No offense, old chap.
388
00:21:13,806 --> 00:21:17,073
- And don't call me that either.
- I say, what's wrong,
old man?
389
00:21:17,142 --> 00:21:19,076
It's the "old" he objects to--
390
00:21:19,144 --> 00:21:21,378
especially when there are
younger men around.
391
00:21:22,681 --> 00:21:25,549
Put those
suitcases down.
Right-o.
392
00:21:25,618 --> 00:21:28,452
Is there anything else?
No, thank you.
393
00:21:29,689 --> 00:21:31,622
Well, you weren't
very nice to him--
394
00:21:31,691 --> 00:21:35,259
especially now that he's
going to take over for you
while you're away.
395
00:21:35,328 --> 00:21:39,062
Nobody's taking over
for me.
396
00:21:39,131 --> 00:21:41,732
Why do you jump
on everything I say?
397
00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:44,468
Are you jealous?
398
00:21:44,537 --> 00:21:48,739
- Oh, don't be ridiculous.
- Well, you're pretty burned up
about something.
399
00:21:48,808 --> 00:21:51,575
- I'm not burned up.
- Then why are you smoking?
400
00:21:51,644 --> 00:21:54,878
I'm not--
[ Sniffs ]
401
00:21:56,215 --> 00:21:59,583
Hey! Ooh!
You must have unplugged
the wrong plug.
402
00:21:59,652 --> 00:22:01,752
You said it was plugged
into a six.
403
00:22:01,820 --> 00:22:04,221
Well, I changed my mind.
Must be the icebox.
404
00:22:04,290 --> 00:22:06,590
How do you know
it's not the washing machine?
405
00:22:06,659 --> 00:22:09,793
Because the refrigerator
is "defrostrating."
406
00:22:14,299 --> 00:22:16,233
Oh, that miserable--
407
00:22:16,301 --> 00:22:18,201
As long as the iron
is still hot,
408
00:22:18,270 --> 00:22:21,238
is there anything else
you want me to press?
409
00:22:22,608 --> 00:22:24,541
Then you're really going?
410
00:22:24,610 --> 00:22:26,543
Yes, I'm really going.
411
00:22:26,612 --> 00:22:28,679
For a while there
I thought
you were jealous.
412
00:22:28,748 --> 00:22:32,115
For a while I was listening
to those stupid insinuations.
413
00:22:32,184 --> 00:22:34,251
Then you're not worried
about leaving me here...
414
00:22:34,320 --> 00:22:38,088
with a handsome chair-pusher
with the spaces in his teeth?
415
00:22:38,157 --> 00:22:40,491
- No.
- You don't care?
416
00:22:41,961 --> 00:22:44,895
Watch it.
Of course I care.
417
00:22:44,964 --> 00:22:47,431
I trust you.
Why?
418
00:22:47,500 --> 00:22:49,366
Because we've been
married all these years,
419
00:22:49,435 --> 00:22:51,302
and I have no reason
not to trust you.
420
00:22:51,370 --> 00:22:54,037
That doesn't do a woman's
echo any good.
421
00:22:54,106 --> 00:22:58,341
- Ego.
- Aren't you even
a little bit jealous?
422
00:22:58,410 --> 00:23:01,311
- No.
- You're pretty sure
of yourself.
423
00:23:01,380 --> 00:23:04,981
- Why shouldn't I be?
- You just take a woman
for granite.
424
00:23:05,050 --> 00:23:07,818
No, I don't take you
for granite.
425
00:23:07,886 --> 00:23:10,220
Then why don't you show
a little jealousy?
426
00:23:10,289 --> 00:23:12,222
Would that make you happy?
427
00:23:12,291 --> 00:23:14,358
Well, it wouldn't
make me unhappy.
428
00:23:14,427 --> 00:23:16,527
All right.
Anything to make you happy.
429
00:23:16,595 --> 00:23:18,862
No, no, no.
It's not to make me unhappy.
430
00:23:18,931 --> 00:23:21,532
All right, I've got
about 15 minutes.
431
00:23:21,600 --> 00:23:24,034
Would it help
if I shot Tony?
432
00:23:24,102 --> 00:23:26,203
Well, that would show
a little emotion.
433
00:23:26,271 --> 00:23:29,573
Fine. Do you know
where my gun is?
You wouldn't do that.
434
00:23:29,642 --> 00:23:32,209
I might, if I were
really jealous of him.
435
00:23:32,278 --> 00:23:36,079
You mean that?
Of course.
Lisa, I love you.
436
00:23:36,148 --> 00:23:38,582
I'm not gonna let anybody
take you away from me.
437
00:23:38,651 --> 00:23:41,585
That's all
I wanted to hear.
I'll see you Tuesday.
438
00:23:41,654 --> 00:23:44,087
Where are you going?
To the symposium.
439
00:23:44,156 --> 00:23:46,523
And you're going to leave me
all alone with Tony?
440
00:23:46,592 --> 00:23:51,061
Okay. Lisa,
I want you to come with me.
441
00:23:51,130 --> 00:23:53,264
Please come with me.
442
00:23:53,332 --> 00:23:55,866
Well--
443
00:23:55,934 --> 00:23:58,001
Pack your bags.
They're already packed.
444
00:23:58,070 --> 00:24:00,236
What?
Tony put them
in the car.
445
00:24:00,305 --> 00:24:03,841
Oh, for--
How long will it take you
to change your clothes?
446
00:24:03,909 --> 00:24:05,843
Not long.
447
00:24:06,846 --> 00:24:08,779
Come on.
448
00:24:11,484 --> 00:24:13,684
Did he take her?
449
00:24:13,752 --> 00:24:16,787
Gee, I don't know.
The wind changed.
450
00:24:52,658 --> 00:24:54,991
[ Lisa ] This has beena Filmways presentation,darling.
41606
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