All language subtitles for 3 On A Honeymoon

Mom, I know this is important to you.

Yes, I am well aware of the fact that we
can't invite one without inviting

another one.

I was a baby.

It's not like I'm going to even
recognize either one of them if they

to me.

All right, I will think about it, okay?

All right, Mom, I will talk to you
later.

Bye. Mommy driving you crazy?

A short drive, trust me.

Oh, God.

Why is it that we can't plan this
wedding without all of our family and

butting in?

Because it's a wedding.

It's an absolute nightmare, and I told
you this.

You know, when did you become such an
expert on wedding planning?

Ah, well, gee, hmm, after my... First
wedding, which is an absolute nightmare.

I should have taken it as an omen.

Please don't say that. I just want our
wedding and our marriage to be just

absolutely perfect.

Like a storybook.

I thought you might say that.

I have something.

What's that?

San Michelle.

Cute little bed and breakfast.

Mm -hmm.

Oh, look at that waterfall.

Isn't it beautiful?

Wait a minute.

Are you suggesting that we elope?

I'm suggesting an alternative to wedding
day hell.

That's what I'm suggesting.

Uh -huh.

And what would my mom say? She'd freak.

That's true, like you care.

Listen, if we leave this weekend, we'll
just come back and tell her we're

married. That's it. Over. Done with.

I don't know.

Come on, Denise.

Ever since you started planning this
wedding, you've been stressed out,

angry, you're depressed.

Kind of like your mom.

Listen, the only thing that I want on
your mind when we're standing in front

the minister is how great our life is
going to be once we're married.

Not who's sitting with who or who got
invited, who didn't.

This is why I love you.

I'm cute too. Yeah, that too.

Okay, we'll do it. Great.

You want to? Mm -hmm.

Okay. Okay.

What was the one you drew there?

Here.

Oh.

Oh,

I like that.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh. Oh.

What's the question?

Thank you.

Aw.

Thank you.

Oh.

It's good.

It's my fiancée, Denise.

Hi, you guys.

Welcome. Let's see, here we have Lang.

Ah, yes, the beach roads.

Everything's set up for tomorrow
evening.

Sunset, beachfront ceremony.

Oh, it sounds so romantic.

It's actually our most popular ceremony.

So we have you guys in room 8, and the
keys are in the room.

If you have any questions or you'd like
to talk to the event coordinator, just

call up Brian.

Great. Thank you. You're all set.

Hey, Rachel.

It's going to be one hell of a wild
weekend.

Yes. The swingers' convention should
bring us a lot of business.

Not to mention some much -needed
personal recreation.

Rachel, you're not suggesting that the
staff indulge themselves with the

now, are you? As long as it doesn't
interfere with the running of this play,

not? Feel free to indulge.

Who's it?

No, it can't be.

Just checked in. Roommate.

Really? Well, the Bacchanal people
should be here this afternoon.

Give them whatever they need.

Okay, but that's going to cover a lot of
ground.

Have I told you lately how much I love
you?

Not in the last five minutes, you
haven't.

Well, I do.

And I have to say thank you.

It's just wonderful. This is a great
idea.

I'm so much more relaxed just since we
got here.

What about your mother?

What about my mother?

I'll deal with her when we get home.

But right now, I am going to go take a
bubble bath.

Make myself.

Smell all good for you.

And you know what?

If you wanted to join me, I wouldn't say
no.

Yeah, okay, hold on.

Here, write to him.

Wow, you look well after all this time,
Tony.

What are you doing here?

I came to welcome you to the San Michel
Inn and to congratulate you on your

pending marriage.

She cute?

What are you, the welcoming wagon around
here?

Well, it is my job as the owner and
operator of the inn.

You own this place?

Yes. How?

After we split up, I parlayed our mutual
fund. Oh, excuse me, my mutual fund.

And I turned it into a large chunk of
change.

And I bought this place.

I wanted to get as far away from you as
possible.

And now I have a thriving business.

Well, I'm very happy for you, okay? But
I don't want anything going wrong on my

wedding night, okay? Do you understand
that? I don't want you coming back and

haunting me.

You might have a problem there, Tony.

What?

Well, you left New York so fast and you
didn't leave a forwarding address, and

so I didn't have a chance to tell you.

Tell me what?

We're not divorced.

This is not a time for vengeful jokes.

It's not a joke.

We agreed.

No, you agreed.

And then I realized when I'd be giving
up.

So I changed my mind. I didn't want to
give up the tax benefits, the credit

history, the insurance benefits.

And you left before I could tell you
that I changed my mind. Not even Todd

find you to tell you.

I just want to tell you.

Baby, we're still husband and wife.

Here.

You look like you need this.

And I can't wait to meet the little
woman.

Looks so good.

What's wrong?

Nothing.

Nothing at all.

Beautiful view.

Yeah, we saved the Bacchanal guests the
best rooms for the best views.

It's very thoughtful.

Okay, I'm curious about something.

Really? What's on your mind?

Well, you know, I know a little bit
about these kinds of things.

What kinds of things are that?

You know, swinger things.

Oh, that.

It's simple, really.

We enjoy having sexual experiences with
other people. That's all.

Okay. But doesn't that get kind of
weird?

What's so weird about it?

I mean, aren't some of you guys married?

Yes.

Isn't that kind of weird for the
marriage?

It's just sex.

But... Listen, we enjoy having the
freedom to experience other sexual

And it's not exactly like we're cheating
because both people involved know

exactly what the other one is doing.

Understand?

I think so.

Now you're getting it.

So if there was a she, she would
understand this.

Without no problem at all.

You know, you can give the idea.

Oh my God.

Yeah. Sleepy, sleepy.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes. Yes. Yes.

Oh,

fuck. I'm going deeper that way.

No. No.

You fucker.

I'm not pushing you all the time.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Slow. Slow. Slow.

Don't stop, though. Just go slow.

Right there. Do you feel that?

Right there.

away from me.

Go.

Hard.

Hard. Tell me.

Hard. Yes.

Oh, my God.

You know, tell me.

Uh -huh.

They don't look at each other?

I'm holding him.

What do you want him to look like?

Yes.

Oh, my God.

Yeah. Where?

On my face. On my mouth.

Do you want to taste it? I want to taste
you.

Tell me. I want to taste you.

I want you to go on my mouth.

Get them in my mouth.

Yes. I can drink you up. Put your tongue
out for me. Uh -huh. Yes. Yeah.

Stick my tongue out for you.

Yeah. Yes. I want a lot of it. Yes. I
want a lot of it. Yes. I want a lot of

You want?

Come to me.

Come to me.

And then I'll come to you.

Oh, fuck. Oh, freeze me again, huh?

Yes.

Oh, yes.

Yes.

Tell me what you want.

Yes. What's the matter?

Hang on. Yes.

Yes.

Ready, baby? Uh -huh.

Uh -huh.

the excitement now?

I think I understand.

Bird watching?

Have you ever seen ten people fucking
each other before?

Boggles the imagination.

Yeah. All those raging hormones have the
staff as horny as hell.

I know more than one who have indulged.
Have you?

No, I've taken advantage of the cold
water at the staff showers myself.

You can't hold out either, huh?

I'm kidding. My balls are about to
explode.

Come here.

You wonder how. Am I?

I know.

I know. I know this shirt.

Oh, my God.

I'm going to stick it in my throat,
don't you? Oh, fuck yeah.

Oh.

I thought it was entirely...

Okay, thank you.

I don't really give a shit. I just want
you to fix it.

I don't care what happened.

I really don't give a shit.

Okay? Rachel didn't sign the papers. I'm
getting married tomorrow. And if I

don't have the papers signed, I'm
fucked.

Who are you talking to?

Listen, just do it.

Thank you.

Oh, nothing. Just some business came up
at the last minute.

Okay. Are you aware that there's a
swingers convention here this weekend?

So what?

So what? Haven't you been out of the
room all day?

No, I haven't. I've been unpacking and
watching.

Come here.

Look at this.

Come here.

What do you see out there?

No, not really.

I mean, you know what? I'm so sorry. I
didn't even know this was going on.

Oh.

I mean, don't worry about it. I think
it's kind of fun being naughty.

When did you become a voyeur?

I think we have an audience.

Where? Behind us.

We love to be watched.

Let's give them something to watch.

Okay.

Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Just look at your pussy while you're
fucking me.

Come for me.

Oh, yes. Oh, my God. Yeah.

Oh, you. Oh. Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh.

Yeah. Oh.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Come on.

Listen,

Dave.

You know, I've been thinking, um, maybe
this isn't, like, the good time to do

this.

Excuse me?

I mean, you know, with all the sex going
on at the Springer's convention, maybe

we need to reschedule.

Reschedule?

I don't think so. If I don't come home
from this with a ring on my finger, I'm

going to have a lot of fucking
explaining to do.

To my mother, let alone everything else.

We could stop off in Vegas.

Vegas?

What do you want? to do? You want to get
married in one of those cheesy little

drive -thru chapels?

Jesus, that's romantic.

What's wrong with that?

Come on, Denise. Oh, don't you denise
me.

Okay? If we don't get married this
weekend here, then we're not getting

at all.

Denise, come on.

Denise!

Rachel, this is all your fault.

I

need

to talk to you.

Here I am. So talk.

I just got off the phone with Todd, and
he found our divorce decree papers in

his files in an envelope marked
depositions.

You must have a very incompetent staff.

It was sealed. No sent by your attorney.

I'm sure it was an honest mistake.

Todd's got a really good memory,
especially when it comes to our divorce.

And he recalls that you delivered the
papers.

That was ten years ago, Tony. He was an
associate then.

Yeah, and you worked for your attorney,
as I recall, as an assistant.

Okay, you could have easily called the
office and confirmed with the court that

the papers were delivered. I think
you're being overly dramatic.

Oh, we'll see. Todd found a judge that
will grant us an immediate divorce when

we fax the papers to him.

And he's coming tomorrow.

And what if I don't find them?

Well, after Todd explained to the judge
the circumstances of this whole

situation... He's going to hold you in
contempt of court, he'll freeze your

assets, and he'll send your ass back to
New York. You bastard.

You brought this on yourself, okay?

Just sign the fucking papers.

Hey, Denise.

Hey.

Where's he going?

That's Tony.

He decided to postpone the wedding, and
he wants to stop off in Vegas instead on

the way back to L .A.

God, that sucks.

Did he say why?

No, he says that a swingers convention
isn't any place to have a wedding.

Oh, bullshit.

The heat that these guys are putting
off, you've got to be able to be feeling

it.

What are you talking about?

I heard you two were watching last
night.

Where'd you hear this?

A couple of the guests that were here
earlier.

You can't tell me that you and Tony
weren't turned on.

What about you? Were you turned on?

Come on, there's got to be some fantasy
that you just know that you and Tony

wouldn't be able to live out together.

You know, one that's all your own.

Well, there is one.

Tell me.

Well, it involves a couple of people.

Somebody I don't know.

And then there's a third person who kind
of instructs them on what to do to me.

I like that.

That's something I could get into.

Have you ever tried anything like that?

As often as I can.

Come on.

Come here.

Here, you just have a seat right here
for a second.

What do you have in mind?

It's my wedding present for you.

Okay.

I'm going to blindfold you, though,
okay?

That's great.

This is actually very cool.

You see?

Not a thing.

What are you doing?

Put your wrist together.

You're tying me up.

Oh, this is cool.

I like you. You're fun.

I'm just saying I had a... I was
inspired.

By somebody else's fantasy.

Wow. This is going to be so much fun.

Do you know what's going to happen next?
I have no idea.

Let's see if you can guess what's going
to happen next.

Okay. By listening.

By listening.

Uh -huh.

Okay. I'm game.

I'm still right here.

Somebody's walking.

Who's that?

Why don't you

start don't hook his pants?

And she opened her first one to the top
so you could see her breath.

Are they pretty?

As pretty as you are.

That's my big question.

Why don't you go down on your knees and
take his cock into your mouth

Sounds just wonderful.

Oh, yeah.

She's sucking his cock.

Sounds like it. He's looking at you.

You see something over here you like?

Yeah.

All right.

If I take your blindfold off and unbind
your hands, are you going to

participate? Yes.

Can I direct?

Absolutely. Is this your camera?

I want you to direct that.

Just tell me what to do.

Anything. Anything.

Anything.

Oh, fuck yeah.

Does that cock taste good?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, fuck, yeah.

Oh, right there.

Right there.

Denise, spread your legs.

Want some cock?

Sure.

Why don't you come get Denise over here?

Here, baby.

Make sure you're in dresser first.

Gladly.

Why don't you guys both suck his cock at
the same time?

And share, Denise.

Thank you.

I don't think Denise has ever done that
before.

He's doing very, very well.

Whoa.

My direction to your liking, Denise,
huh?

Is that the funniest

person you've ever had, Denise?

It's like watching...

We have to keep it down. We don't want
to wake up the cat.

his cock up your ass before?

No.

Tell me how bad you want it. Oh, I would
love to.

You're going to have to convince Rick to
take his cock out of his ass first.

Oh, that's it, baby. Oh,

yeah.

a huge cup all the way in there.

Oh, stretch me. Oh, yeah.

You like to fuck my ass, don't you? Oh,
yeah.

Oh, God.

Oh, yes, yes, yes.

Oh, come on. Oh, God.

Maybe as we can be shaped.

Uh -huh. Oh,

I love you.

Fuck my ass.

Oh,

yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

You keep talking.

Oh, God,

baby, that feels so good in my ass.

Oh, yeah, it does.

Oh, yeah, you should try it in your ass.
Oh, God, it feels good.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, God.

Oh, yes, yes.

Oh, God.

Oh, does that feel good?

Huh? Huh?

Thank you.

I'm fucking dead.

Why don't you give them a big load?

Come all over their faces.

Come all over them. Come on, Rick, come.

I hope you liked your surprise, Denise.

Oh, yeah.

Thank you.

Rachel, if you don't sign, the judge
will extradite you back to New York.

You could be based in real jail time.

He could end up owning this whole place.

Don't rub it in, Pod.

What was the point of this in the first
place?

Vengeance. Plain and simple.

After everything he did for me, I just
wanted my pound of flesh.

You got it.

For the last ten years.

Hope that was good enough.

So, now that your work here is done,
what are your plans?

I'm going to get on the first plane back
to New York.

Good. Then you can leave until tomorrow
morning.

Great.

These is the proper pronoun, Todd, and
these are breasts.

I know that. What are you up to?

Well, I thought that, um...

Maybe we could negotiate your retainer.

That could present a conflict of
interest if I'm Tony's lawyer.

That wasn't a divorce. This is business.

This could take a while.

I'm in no hurry.

We must turn up the news in the office.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Give it to me.

You cut my ass.

Oh, I bet you missed that all the way
back there in New York, didn't you?

Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, Todd.

Oh. Oh, Rachel.

I want you to come visit me more often.

Oh, give it to me.

Thank you.

I appreciate you coming down here, all
the way down here. No problem. I gotta

go, though. Why, what's the rush?

Ah, Rachel's gonna introduce me to a few
of her friends. Oh, you bad boy.

Oh, wear a bag.

Always. All right, man. Later.

Hello. Hi.

Hi.

See ya. Take care, man.

What's Todd doing here?

Oh, just taking care of his business.

Ah.

And, uh... Who's this?

Hi, I'm Kate. Hi.

Okay, Denise, what's the explanation
here?

Well, due to the amount of intense

sexual energy around here, I thought
maybe we could... What

are you planning on experimenting with?

You don't mind, do you? Uh, well...

Are you sure this is something you want
to do?

Absolutely.

What are you doing with that?

Pray for your life.

Pray for my life?

Okay, this is not funny, untimely.

No. Ha, ha, ha.

The only way we can keep your attention.

You have my attention.

Broaden your sexual horizons. This
really isn't my color, honey.

Here, a little bit.

Oh, you look great in purple.

Come on, untie me.

No.

Come on.

Get up here.

Make yourself comfortable.

You're not really having time up, too.
This is like, you know. All right. You

think we should time up more? Some of
those TV shows where there's like a

Yeah. Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, you're it.

I'm the joke.

I have something for you. You do, don't
you?

Oh,

great nipple.

Don't you have great nipples, honey?

Uh -huh.

your head for me? Uh -huh.

I have something for you. Wow.

My, what a big penis you have.

Where would you like to put that?

Your jilt.

Here, see?

Your jilt.

Bigger than mine.

Turn over.

Would you like to watch your soon -to
-be wife get back?

Okay.

Oh, fuck yeah.

Oh, fuck yeah.

Oh, I like that.

It feels so good. My pussy just wants to
squeeze it.

I wish your cock was inside of her.

Oh, yeah, that's it.

Slam it.

Give it to me.

Give it to me.

Oh, my squeeze.

Cockslighting on my wet little pussy.

Yeah, it's so wet.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh, good, yes.

Oh. Oh.

Yes.

Oh, yeah.

Yes. Do you want to be untied now?

I don't know.

You don't know?

It's going to happen.

Oh, I'm scared.

Yeah, I know. Oh, no. Don't. Don't fuck
me.

It's wintertime.

That's why I went for it. Yeah.

Pretty.

Hold her hand, honey.

Hold her hand.

Hold her hand. My hand?

Hold her hand.

She's getting into this.

There you go.

There we go.

That's all I do.

I want to kiss him.