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1
00:00:04,220 --> 00:00:06,222
Nanu, nanu.
2
00:00:16,983 --> 00:00:17,984
Shazbot.
3
00:00:26,326 --> 00:00:29,329
( opening musical theme plays )
4
00:01:18,344 --> 00:01:20,295
Orson calling Mork.
5
00:01:20,296 --> 00:01:22,097
Orson calling Mork.
6
00:01:22,098 --> 00:01:24,016
Come in, Mork.
7
00:01:24,017 --> 00:01:25,968
Orson? Is that you?
8
00:01:25,969 --> 00:01:27,853
Of course it's me.
9
00:01:27,854 --> 00:01:29,271
Who else has your number?
10
00:01:29,272 --> 00:01:31,273
Oh. That's right, I forgot.
I've got unlisted mind.
11
00:01:31,274 --> 00:01:33,276
What's up,
great cosmic intruder?
12
00:01:33,777 --> 00:01:36,612
It seems the report of
your first week on Earth
13
00:01:36,613 --> 00:01:38,897
was accidentally destroyed.
14
00:01:38,898 --> 00:01:40,282
Oh, a likely story.
15
00:01:40,784 --> 00:01:41,784
Trying to pull a Nixon
on me, eh?
16
00:01:41,785 --> 00:01:44,286
I thought all those reports were
stored on micro-wire cassette.
17
00:01:44,287 --> 00:01:45,737
They are.
18
00:01:45,738 --> 00:01:48,624
However, your superiors
were chewing caramels
19
00:01:48,625 --> 00:01:51,460
and used that report
to floss their teeth.
20
00:01:51,461 --> 00:01:52,961
Good thing Jimmy Carter
wasn't there
21
00:01:52,962 --> 00:01:54,963
or we'd have lost
the entire file.
22
00:01:54,964 --> 00:01:55,914
Mork...
Sir.
23
00:01:55,915 --> 00:01:59,384
I want you to activate
your Orkan total recall
24
00:01:59,385 --> 00:02:01,386
and duplicate your report.
25
00:02:01,387 --> 00:02:02,304
Gotcha.
26
00:02:02,305 --> 00:02:05,757
Lights, camera, action!
27
00:02:05,758 --> 00:02:06,758
Mork?
28
00:02:06,759 --> 00:02:08,761
Ready when you are, C.B.
29
00:02:10,763 --> 00:02:12,764
MINDY:
Hey, Mork, are you up?
30
00:02:12,765 --> 00:02:14,766
Come on, get up.
31
00:02:14,767 --> 00:02:17,653
( singsongy ):
Come and get it!
32
00:02:17,654 --> 00:02:19,988
I hope you like corn flakes.
33
00:02:19,989 --> 00:02:21,273
Why wouldn't I?
34
00:02:21,274 --> 00:02:23,025
Just because
I'm from another planet
35
00:02:23,026 --> 00:02:24,944
doesn't mean I'm that different.
36
00:02:33,203 --> 00:02:36,421
Trust me, you are different.
37
00:02:36,422 --> 00:02:38,207
( Orkan sounds )
38
00:02:41,711 --> 00:02:44,213
Okay. Come on, let's have
a little breakfast.
39
00:02:44,214 --> 00:02:45,714
May I be of some assistance?
40
00:02:45,715 --> 00:02:47,216
Oh, sure, uh...
41
00:02:47,717 --> 00:02:49,101
I guess you could set the table.
42
00:02:49,102 --> 00:02:52,938
( monotonous hum )
43
00:02:52,939 --> 00:02:54,940
Where would you
like me to set it?
44
00:02:54,941 --> 00:02:58,443
Hurry up, I'm getting
a cramp in my finger.
45
00:02:58,444 --> 00:03:00,446
Just set it back where it was.
46
00:03:00,947 --> 00:03:02,448
( speaking in reverse )
47
00:03:04,450 --> 00:03:06,452
Nice way to build up
an appetite.
48
00:03:06,953 --> 00:03:08,955
I'm so hungry
I could eat a Flizbit.
49
00:03:10,957 --> 00:03:13,709
Well, today is going
to be a big day.
50
00:03:14,210 --> 00:03:16,211
Today we're going to find you
a new place to live.
51
00:03:16,212 --> 00:03:17,579
Why can't I go on
living with you?
52
00:03:17,580 --> 00:03:22,417
Well, because my father
is a conservative,
53
00:03:22,418 --> 00:03:23,919
puritanical... mm...
54
00:03:23,920 --> 00:03:27,172
Nerd.
55
00:03:27,173 --> 00:03:28,340
That's it.
You got it.
56
00:03:29,175 --> 00:03:30,176
Ah!
( sizzles )
57
00:03:31,678 --> 00:03:33,178
What is this black liquid?
58
00:03:33,179 --> 00:03:35,097
This is coffee.
59
00:03:35,098 --> 00:03:36,598
What do you do with it?
60
00:03:36,599 --> 00:03:37,599
We have it with our breakfast.
61
00:03:37,600 --> 00:03:39,068
Oh, allow me.
62
00:03:42,071 --> 00:03:45,691
Oh, repulsive.
63
00:03:45,692 --> 00:03:48,026
You know, Mork,
the more I think about it,
64
00:03:48,027 --> 00:03:51,530
I think that we'd better keep
where you come from a secret.
65
00:03:51,531 --> 00:03:53,532
I hate to admit this,
but people here on Earth
66
00:03:53,533 --> 00:03:56,919
get pretty hassled over anything
they don't understand.
67
00:03:58,371 --> 00:04:00,372
Oh.
68
00:04:00,373 --> 00:04:02,374
Why would anyone
think I'm weird?
69
00:04:02,375 --> 00:04:04,377
We must save two
to build a new race.
70
00:04:07,764 --> 00:04:09,182
Swim, you little nimnuls.
71
00:04:12,435 --> 00:04:16,605
I hope the rest
can tread coffee.
72
00:04:16,606 --> 00:04:18,390
You know, I still
can't get over this.
73
00:04:18,391 --> 00:04:19,891
I'm sitting here
having breakfast
74
00:04:19,892 --> 00:04:21,393
with a being
from another planet.
75
00:04:21,394 --> 00:04:23,896
What a coincidence.
So am I.
76
00:04:25,898 --> 00:04:29,067
You know, there's so much
we can learn from each other.
77
00:04:29,068 --> 00:04:32,371
Starting with me
teaching you to act human
78
00:04:32,372 --> 00:04:33,872
so you don't get into
any more trouble.
79
00:04:33,873 --> 00:04:35,657
Oh, yeah, and another thing,
80
00:04:35,658 --> 00:04:37,075
I've got to find you a job.
81
00:04:37,076 --> 00:04:38,577
A job?
82
00:04:38,578 --> 00:04:41,546
Yeah, work, you know, like
I work at the music store
83
00:04:41,547 --> 00:04:43,048
with my dad and my grandma.
84
00:04:43,049 --> 00:04:45,467
Oh, I was sent to observe Earth
85
00:04:45,468 --> 00:04:47,469
and report
back everything to Orson on Ork.
86
00:04:47,470 --> 00:04:48,337
That's my job.
87
00:04:48,338 --> 00:04:51,139
No, I mean like a job
that pays money.
88
00:04:51,140 --> 00:04:53,091
Oh.
89
00:04:53,092 --> 00:04:55,427
You do understand
the concept of money, don't you?
90
00:04:55,428 --> 00:04:56,762
Mindy, I am surprised at you.
91
00:04:56,763 --> 00:04:58,765
I am a member of a highly
advanced civilization.
92
00:04:59,265 --> 00:05:01,767
My superiors on Ork
thought of everything.
93
00:05:01,768 --> 00:05:03,269
Going down.
94
00:05:06,356 --> 00:05:07,322
Coming up.
95
00:05:07,323 --> 00:05:09,825
I bring with me untold wealth
of the Universe.
96
00:05:09,826 --> 00:05:11,326
Wow, this looks heavy.
97
00:05:11,327 --> 00:05:12,694
What's in here?
98
00:05:12,695 --> 00:05:14,997
Look.
99
00:05:15,999 --> 00:05:18,501
Oh, oh, careful,
my bank's closed.
100
00:05:20,003 --> 00:05:21,503
This is sand.
101
00:05:21,504 --> 00:05:24,373
Yes, it's been in
my family for years.
102
00:05:24,374 --> 00:05:28,877
But, Mork, on-on Earth,
sand is as common as, uh, dirt.
103
00:05:28,878 --> 00:05:30,880
Well, there goes bag two.
104
00:05:32,882 --> 00:05:35,884
Oh, but I realize
my superiors might be nimnuls
105
00:05:35,885 --> 00:05:38,387
and I brought
along something of unquestioned value
106
00:05:38,388 --> 00:05:40,389
throughout
the universe. What?
107
00:05:40,390 --> 00:05:42,557
A credit card.
108
00:05:42,558 --> 00:05:44,860
I don't leave home without it.
109
00:05:48,364 --> 00:05:50,866
FRED ( humming ):
♪ Um-pum... ♪
110
00:05:50,867 --> 00:05:52,234
Andante,
111
00:05:52,235 --> 00:05:54,119
andante, you butchers.
112
00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:55,620
Andante!
113
00:05:55,621 --> 00:05:58,407
Hey, Toscanini, knock it off!
114
00:05:59,709 --> 00:06:01,710
Do you know what
that looks like from out there?
115
00:06:01,711 --> 00:06:04,713
That looks like you're
out of your gourd.
116
00:06:04,714 --> 00:06:07,716
Back, back, back!
You're blocking the violins.
117
00:06:07,717 --> 00:06:09,217
Get back.
118
00:06:09,218 --> 00:06:11,970
♪ Bomp, bomp, bomp,
bomp, bomp... ♪
119
00:06:14,640 --> 00:06:15,641
What did you do that for?
120
00:06:16,142 --> 00:06:17,642
You interrupted my sforzando.
121
00:06:17,643 --> 00:06:20,896
Now, now, don't get your Brahms
in an uproar.
122
00:06:22,732 --> 00:06:24,233
Why do I have to
put up with you?
123
00:06:24,734 --> 00:06:26,234
After all, it's my store.
124
00:06:26,235 --> 00:06:28,737
Lord, why did you create
mothers-in-law?
125
00:06:28,738 --> 00:06:31,606
So they can work
in the family store
126
00:06:31,607 --> 00:06:34,493
and ring up 83% of the sales.
127
00:06:35,912 --> 00:06:37,412
You're wretched.
128
00:06:37,413 --> 00:06:44,203
Go ahead, Freddy,
whip me with your words.
129
00:06:46,456 --> 00:06:47,873
Has Mindy come in yet?
130
00:06:47,874 --> 00:06:48,874
Mindy? No.
131
00:06:48,875 --> 00:06:50,375
No, she's probably
hanging around
132
00:06:50,376 --> 00:06:51,877
with that absurd yo-yo.
133
00:06:51,878 --> 00:06:53,378
I'm worried, Cora.
134
00:06:53,379 --> 00:06:55,881
I'm scared to death it could
become something serious.
135
00:06:55,882 --> 00:06:58,383
After all, he's already
spent the night with her.
136
00:06:58,384 --> 00:07:00,385
Oh, he stayed in her house.
137
00:07:00,386 --> 00:07:01,887
There's a big difference.
138
00:07:01,888 --> 00:07:03,388
But that's the first
step towards moving in.
139
00:07:03,389 --> 00:07:06,391
As far I know, he's
over there right now.
140
00:07:06,392 --> 00:07:09,277
Well, you could
pick up that phone
141
00:07:09,278 --> 00:07:11,113
and find out in a second.
142
00:07:11,114 --> 00:07:13,482
Oh, I couldn't do that.
143
00:07:13,483 --> 00:07:14,983
It would be too much
like spying,
144
00:07:14,984 --> 00:07:16,485
as if I didn't trust her.
145
00:07:16,486 --> 00:07:19,488
No. I could never bring myself
to stoop so low.
146
00:07:19,489 --> 00:07:24,494
Oh, Freddy, you underestimate
your potential.
147
00:07:28,498 --> 00:07:30,999
( telephone ringing )
148
00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:32,000
MINDY:
Mork, will you answer that?
149
00:07:32,001 --> 00:07:33,385
( telephone ringing )
150
00:07:33,386 --> 00:07:35,137
Ring...
151
00:07:35,138 --> 00:07:37,639
Ring...
152
00:07:37,640 --> 00:07:40,642
Ring...
153
00:07:40,643 --> 00:07:42,511
Please get the telephone.
154
00:07:42,512 --> 00:07:43,929
Oh, phone.
155
00:07:43,930 --> 00:07:44,930
( telephone ringing )
156
00:07:44,931 --> 00:07:46,932
Primitive means
of audio communication.
157
00:07:46,933 --> 00:07:49,434
( telephone ringing )
158
00:07:49,435 --> 00:07:52,938
I wonder what it looks like.
159
00:07:52,939 --> 00:07:54,439
Hello.
160
00:07:54,440 --> 00:07:56,441
Hello!
161
00:07:56,442 --> 00:07:58,444
( ringing )
162
00:07:59,445 --> 00:08:02,447
I killed it.
163
00:08:02,448 --> 00:08:03,949
Hello. Hello.
164
00:08:03,950 --> 00:08:05,333
Yeah, hello? Hello?
165
00:08:05,334 --> 00:08:07,085
Hel... hel... hel...
166
00:08:07,086 --> 00:08:08,921
Hello!
167
00:08:10,923 --> 00:08:13,425
I knew it. He's there.
168
00:08:13,426 --> 00:08:15,928
Now don't try to stop me, Cora.
169
00:08:17,430 --> 00:08:21,183
Nobody is going to corrupt
my daughter...
170
00:08:21,184 --> 00:08:23,970
until after she's married.
171
00:08:24,854 --> 00:08:27,640
He's such a wiener.
172
00:08:33,646 --> 00:08:35,647
Mork, on Earth,
173
00:08:35,648 --> 00:08:38,651
a gentleman always helps
a lady on with her coat.
174
00:08:39,652 --> 00:08:41,152
( humming )
175
00:08:41,153 --> 00:08:42,154
Thank you.
176
00:08:43,155 --> 00:08:46,041
Uh, on Earth,
177
00:08:46,042 --> 00:08:48,411
a gentleman also
lets go of the coat.
178
00:08:49,212 --> 00:08:52,214
Keep your hands off that child.
179
00:08:52,215 --> 00:08:55,218
Daddy, he was
just helping me on with my coat.
180
00:08:55,718 --> 00:08:56,718
What are you doing here?
181
00:08:56,719 --> 00:08:57,719
Me?
182
00:08:57,720 --> 00:08:58,720
What are you doing here?
183
00:08:58,721 --> 00:09:00,722
Now, I don't want any stories
or any excuses.
184
00:09:00,723 --> 00:09:03,058
I want the plain,
unvarnished truth.
185
00:09:03,059 --> 00:09:05,844
I spent the night.
186
00:09:05,845 --> 00:09:09,814
Couldn't you
have varnished it just a little?
187
00:09:09,815 --> 00:09:11,766
Daddy, it's not like it seems.
188
00:09:11,767 --> 00:09:14,269
The only reason Mork
spent the night here last night
189
00:09:14,270 --> 00:09:17,155
was because,
uh... uh...
190
00:09:17,156 --> 00:09:20,442
Well, I can't tell you
that; it's a secret.
191
00:09:20,443 --> 00:09:22,410
Secret? Secrets.
192
00:09:22,411 --> 00:09:24,279
We never had secrets
from each other.
193
00:09:24,280 --> 00:09:28,250
Now, I demand to know
what's going on
194
00:09:28,251 --> 00:09:30,752
between the two of you.
195
00:09:30,753 --> 00:09:33,505
After all, I love you.
196
00:09:33,506 --> 00:09:35,290
Oh, that's nice.
197
00:09:35,291 --> 00:09:39,261
Daddy, I am going
to tell you something
198
00:09:39,262 --> 00:09:41,263
that you might find
hard to believe.
199
00:09:41,264 --> 00:09:42,764
But you've got to promise
200
00:09:42,765 --> 00:09:45,016
not to breathe a word
of this to anyone.
201
00:09:45,017 --> 00:09:46,685
Okay, okay, I promise.
202
00:09:46,686 --> 00:09:51,807
Mork is from Ork.
It's another planet.
203
00:09:53,726 --> 00:09:59,230
( guffawing )
204
00:09:59,231 --> 00:10:00,732
Mindy, I'm your father.
205
00:10:00,733 --> 00:10:02,233
You can do better than that.
206
00:10:02,234 --> 00:10:03,702
Mork, do something.
207
00:10:03,703 --> 00:10:05,070
Show Daddy you're from Ork.
208
00:10:05,071 --> 00:10:08,457
Watch this, Daddy...
a little cosmic shtick.
209
00:10:09,458 --> 00:10:10,959
Many bleams ago,
we Orkans realized
210
00:10:10,960 --> 00:10:13,211
the need to talk while drinking.
211
00:10:13,212 --> 00:10:15,880
Boy, am I thirsty.
212
00:10:15,881 --> 00:10:18,133
I'd like to see a human do that.
213
00:10:18,134 --> 00:10:19,635
( burps )
214
00:10:23,723 --> 00:10:25,724
Look, I-I don't know
how you did that,
215
00:10:25,725 --> 00:10:27,225
but it's, uh, some
kind of trick.
216
00:10:27,226 --> 00:10:29,094
It doesn't prove anything.
217
00:10:29,095 --> 00:10:30,930
Perhaps these color slides
from Ork will.
218
00:10:33,933 --> 00:10:35,934
Uh, what's this supposed to be?
219
00:10:35,935 --> 00:10:37,435
Frizbot, the capital.
220
00:10:37,436 --> 00:10:39,437
Looks completely black.
221
00:10:39,438 --> 00:10:41,273
It's the inner city.
222
00:10:43,192 --> 00:10:45,194
Look, fella, you can't fool me.
223
00:10:45,695 --> 00:10:47,696
Everybody knows what
space creatures look like.
224
00:10:47,697 --> 00:10:49,197
They have huge bald heads.
225
00:10:49,198 --> 00:10:50,199
Not always.
226
00:10:51,701 --> 00:10:56,087
Everybody knows that space
creatures are always green.
227
00:10:56,088 --> 00:10:57,873
Oh, you mean the old cliché...
like this.
228
00:10:59,258 --> 00:11:00,925
( shrieks )
229
00:11:00,926 --> 00:11:03,345
Nauseating, isn't it?
230
00:11:03,346 --> 00:11:05,097
It's not easy being green.
231
00:11:05,931 --> 00:11:08,433
You're an alien!
You're an alien!
232
00:11:08,434 --> 00:11:09,802
( orkan sound )
233
00:11:11,187 --> 00:11:13,054
Are you on vacation,
234
00:11:13,055 --> 00:11:16,057
or did you come down
here to snatch a body?
235
00:11:16,058 --> 00:11:18,393
No, no, no, no,
I didn't mean that.
236
00:11:18,394 --> 00:11:21,896
Daddy, Mork is from a highly
advanced civilization.
237
00:11:21,897 --> 00:11:24,149
They did away with
violence ages ago.
238
00:11:24,150 --> 00:11:26,951
Not only that.
239
00:11:26,952 --> 00:11:27,952
I like you.
240
00:11:27,953 --> 00:11:28,953
Aw...
241
00:11:28,954 --> 00:11:31,656
Oh, well, I like you, too, son.
242
00:11:35,411 --> 00:11:36,795
Burn that.
243
00:11:38,130 --> 00:11:41,633
Um, look, would you mind if I
talk to my daughter in private?
244
00:11:41,634 --> 00:11:43,635
No offense, I mean
it's not worth a death ray
245
00:11:43,636 --> 00:11:45,003
or anything like that.
246
00:11:45,004 --> 00:11:46,138
Death ray?
247
00:11:47,423 --> 00:11:49,725
Oh, humor. ( seal-like laugh )
248
00:11:52,645 --> 00:11:55,597
Right on, Pops.
What it was. I like Ike.
249
00:11:57,099 --> 00:11:59,350
Just gonna clean up
the old room.
250
00:11:59,351 --> 00:12:01,686
Isn't that something else?
251
00:12:01,687 --> 00:12:05,190
Mindy, let's have a
father-daughter talk.
252
00:12:05,191 --> 00:12:06,191
Oh, sure.
253
00:12:06,192 --> 00:12:07,693
( shouting ):
Get rid of him!
254
00:12:09,612 --> 00:12:11,113
Trash day.
255
00:12:20,072 --> 00:12:21,573
MINDY:
We walk all over Boulder,
256
00:12:21,574 --> 00:12:23,292
and we still don'tfind you an apartment.
257
00:12:25,628 --> 00:12:27,629
Oh, don't worry, Mork,
258
00:12:27,630 --> 00:12:29,380
we'll find you a place to live.
259
00:12:29,381 --> 00:12:30,715
I saw a nice tree
in the front yard.
260
00:12:30,716 --> 00:12:32,083
I could hang out there tonight.
261
00:12:32,084 --> 00:12:34,886
Oh, no, I wouldn't
put an Orkan out
262
00:12:34,887 --> 00:12:36,387
on a night like this.
263
00:12:36,388 --> 00:12:39,390
You'll just have to spend
another night, that's all.
264
00:12:39,391 --> 00:12:42,894
Good. I guess it's time
to hit the old coat rack, then.
265
00:12:42,895 --> 00:12:44,896
Oh, Mork, not the armoire.
266
00:12:44,897 --> 00:12:46,898
You're on Earth now...
you might as well start
267
00:12:46,899 --> 00:12:48,399
acting a little more
like it, right?
268
00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:50,268
True. Where do you sleep?
269
00:12:51,687 --> 00:12:52,688
On a bed.
270
00:12:54,156 --> 00:12:56,107
Boy, have you got
a lot to learn.
271
00:12:56,108 --> 00:12:57,108
Good, I'll sleep with you.
272
00:12:57,109 --> 00:12:57,993
I'm always willing to learn.
273
00:13:00,362 --> 00:13:03,331
Why don't you just sleep
on the sofa tonight?
274
00:13:03,332 --> 00:13:05,834
Oh. On a flat surface?
275
00:13:05,835 --> 00:13:08,336
Won't I get dizzy?
276
00:13:08,337 --> 00:13:10,839
Well, you won't
have far to fall.
277
00:13:10,840 --> 00:13:12,207
Oh, Mork,
278
00:13:12,208 --> 00:13:13,625
could you go up in the attic
for me
279
00:13:13,626 --> 00:13:15,009
and get the old comforter?
280
00:13:15,010 --> 00:13:16,427
Oh, kay-o.
281
00:13:16,428 --> 00:13:17,879
That's "okay."
282
00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:19,380
You thank.
"Thank you."
283
00:13:19,381 --> 00:13:20,765
You're welcome.
284
00:13:25,271 --> 00:13:26,771
Oh, if you have any trouble
finding it,
285
00:13:26,772 --> 00:13:31,276
it's in the middle of the attic
behind the old trunk.
286
00:13:31,277 --> 00:13:33,278
Got it?
287
00:13:33,279 --> 00:13:35,781
MORK ( goofy voice ):
Ah-bad nee-bay.
288
00:13:37,283 --> 00:13:38,284
Bad-ah nee.
289
00:13:48,294 --> 00:13:50,296
Which one's the comforter?
290
00:13:52,298 --> 00:13:54,800
I do hope it's this one.
291
00:13:56,302 --> 00:13:57,802
See, my comforter doesn't stare.
292
00:13:57,803 --> 00:13:59,304
( chuckles )
293
00:13:59,305 --> 00:14:00,723
Never mind, I'll get it later.
294
00:14:01,223 --> 00:14:02,223
Nice place, your attic.
295
00:14:02,224 --> 00:14:05,727
Nice? It's dark, dusty
and full of spiders. Blech!
296
00:14:05,728 --> 00:14:08,229
My kind of town.
297
00:14:08,230 --> 00:14:09,597
It's perfect.
298
00:14:09,598 --> 00:14:11,349
Could I live there?
299
00:14:11,350 --> 00:14:13,768
You know, actually,
300
00:14:13,769 --> 00:14:16,271
that attic wouldn't be such
a bad place if we fixed it up.
301
00:14:16,272 --> 00:14:19,274
You know, it would be
like having your own apartment.
302
00:14:19,275 --> 00:14:20,692
And it would be a perfect place
303
00:14:20,693 --> 00:14:22,694
for you to stay while
you're adjusting to Earth.
304
00:14:22,695 --> 00:14:24,195
It'd be perfect.
305
00:14:24,196 --> 00:14:27,615
Oh. Except for Daddy.
306
00:14:27,616 --> 00:14:30,618
He and I are having
enough problems as it is.
307
00:14:30,619 --> 00:14:32,086
Stay.
308
00:14:32,087 --> 00:14:34,088
Problems?
Yeah.
309
00:14:34,089 --> 00:14:36,090
May I be of some assistance?
310
00:14:36,091 --> 00:14:37,592
I'm afraid not.
311
00:14:37,593 --> 00:14:40,461
You see...
you are the problem.
312
00:14:40,462 --> 00:14:41,462
Me?
313
00:14:41,463 --> 00:14:43,464
Yeah. Daddy
made me promise
314
00:14:43,465 --> 00:14:45,967
to have you moved out
by tonight... or else.
315
00:14:45,968 --> 00:14:46,968
Oh, I see.
316
00:14:46,969 --> 00:14:48,970
I didn't want to cause trouble.
317
00:14:48,971 --> 00:14:50,972
Well, I must be leaving.
318
00:14:50,973 --> 00:14:51,973
Well, where are you going?
319
00:14:51,974 --> 00:14:53,975
You can't go now...
it's cold out
320
00:14:53,976 --> 00:14:55,476
and it looks like rain.
321
00:14:55,477 --> 00:14:58,229
I'll be fine.
I'm into weather.
322
00:14:58,230 --> 00:15:00,448
I will miss you.
323
00:15:00,449 --> 00:15:02,283
Oh, wait, wait, Mork.
324
00:15:02,284 --> 00:15:04,535
I don't want you to go.
325
00:15:04,536 --> 00:15:06,237
You see, until I met you, I...
326
00:15:06,238 --> 00:15:09,490
I never realized how dull
and boring my life has been.
327
00:15:09,491 --> 00:15:11,492
I mean, you're a man
from outer space.
328
00:15:11,493 --> 00:15:13,378
That's exciting!
329
00:15:13,379 --> 00:15:15,663
Exciting. Oh...
( screams )
330
00:15:15,664 --> 00:15:18,166
I told you, stay!
331
00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:22,086
I've never been called
exciting before.
332
00:15:22,087 --> 00:15:23,388
Well, you are.
333
00:15:23,389 --> 00:15:24,889
I mean, think of it...
you're a...
334
00:15:24,890 --> 00:15:26,891
you're an ambassador
from another planet.
335
00:15:26,892 --> 00:15:28,393
I mean, you're important.
336
00:15:28,394 --> 00:15:31,396
And if I can help you,
that... ( laughs )
337
00:15:31,397 --> 00:15:32,897
that makes me feel important.
338
00:15:32,898 --> 00:15:35,266
Well, the important thing
is the relationship
339
00:15:35,267 --> 00:15:36,768
between you and your father.
340
00:15:36,769 --> 00:15:38,269
I envy you that you have one.
341
00:15:38,270 --> 00:15:41,272
My father was an eyedropper.
342
00:15:41,273 --> 00:15:43,775
My mother was a sterile dish.
343
00:15:43,776 --> 00:15:45,778
Hard to warm up to old Mom.
344
00:15:49,164 --> 00:15:51,532
Yeah, but, Mork,
it's time that I...
345
00:15:51,533 --> 00:15:53,418
It's best for you
if I leave, but...
346
00:15:53,419 --> 00:15:54,919
I can come back
from time to time
347
00:15:54,920 --> 00:15:56,671
and take human lessons from you.
348
00:15:56,672 --> 00:15:59,841
You're already acting
more human than a lot of people I know.
349
00:15:59,842 --> 00:16:01,759
I have a solution.
350
00:16:01,760 --> 00:16:02,760
What?
351
00:16:02,761 --> 00:16:04,762
I'll call your father
and tell him I'm leaving.
352
00:16:04,763 --> 00:16:07,265
Oh...
What's his number?
353
00:16:09,268 --> 00:16:10,768
555-0694.
354
00:16:10,769 --> 00:16:13,271
( makes beeping sounds )
355
00:16:13,272 --> 00:16:17,275
( line ringing ) It's ringing.
356
00:16:17,276 --> 00:16:20,645
Mr. McConnell, Mork here.
357
00:16:20,646 --> 00:16:23,899
No, sir, that's not quite right.
I'm a son of a test tube.
358
00:16:25,784 --> 00:16:28,486
No, no, um...
359
00:16:28,487 --> 00:16:32,907
I just want to say, uh, I don't want
to stand between you and Mindy.
360
00:16:32,908 --> 00:16:35,410
No, you won't be
seeing me anymore.
361
00:16:35,911 --> 00:16:37,912
I thought it'd be nice
if you came over
362
00:16:37,913 --> 00:16:39,914
and made up with Mindy.
363
00:16:39,915 --> 00:16:41,916
Yes, sir.
364
00:16:41,917 --> 00:16:43,918
Good-bye.
365
00:16:43,919 --> 00:16:46,922
There are some words
I have to ask you about.
366
00:16:48,924 --> 00:16:51,759
He's coming over.
I... I'd better be going.
367
00:16:51,760 --> 00:16:54,645
Oh, Mork, I feel so sad.
368
00:16:54,646 --> 00:16:55,646
Oh...
369
00:16:55,647 --> 00:16:57,648
Oh...
370
00:16:57,649 --> 00:16:58,649
You're soft.
371
00:16:58,650 --> 00:17:00,518
I could get to like that.
372
00:17:02,354 --> 00:17:04,856
Well, you just...
can't just walk out.
373
00:17:04,857 --> 00:17:06,741
I mean, not just like that.
374
00:17:06,742 --> 00:17:09,694
I know... we'll have a toast,
uh, to your new life.
375
00:17:09,695 --> 00:17:11,696
I'll break out the bubbly.
376
00:17:11,697 --> 00:17:12,580
Bubbly?
377
00:17:12,581 --> 00:17:13,664
Champagne.
378
00:17:13,665 --> 00:17:15,450
( like Lawrence Welk ):
Oh. Thank you,
379
00:17:15,451 --> 00:17:17,452
thank you,
let's all get down, get funky.
380
00:17:17,453 --> 00:17:19,454
The lovely Lemmon Sisters
gonna sing
381
00:17:19,455 --> 00:17:21,957
"I Can't Get No Satisfaction."
382
00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:28,046
Except in this case,
the champagne has to be ginger ale
383
00:17:28,047 --> 00:17:31,049
because that's
all I have. Oh.
384
00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:32,550
Well...
385
00:17:32,551 --> 00:17:34,552
here's to...
386
00:17:34,553 --> 00:17:37,055
the nicest alien I've ever met.
387
00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:40,442
And here's to the nicest
alien I've ever met.
388
00:17:44,279 --> 00:17:45,780
And the softest.
389
00:17:45,781 --> 00:17:47,282
( chuckles )
390
00:17:50,285 --> 00:17:52,203
( goofy mutteringand chuckling )
391
00:17:52,204 --> 00:17:54,205
( shrieks, goofy singing )
392
00:17:54,206 --> 00:17:57,708
( continues goofy singing )
393
00:17:57,709 --> 00:17:58,710
( raspberry )
394
00:17:59,211 --> 00:18:01,212
( yells like Tarzan )
395
00:18:01,213 --> 00:18:03,215
( goofy shout )
396
00:18:11,507 --> 00:18:13,508
Are you all right?
397
00:18:13,509 --> 00:18:15,009
Certainly I'm all right.
398
00:18:15,010 --> 00:18:18,980
( goofy, childlike shouting )
399
00:18:21,350 --> 00:18:24,686
Oh, wow! Surf's up! Ha-ha!
400
00:18:27,189 --> 00:18:29,107
( slow motion ):
Oh, no!
401
00:18:29,108 --> 00:18:30,108
What's the matter?
402
00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:33,111
I think I'm getting Bezurb.
403
00:18:33,112 --> 00:18:34,112
What?
404
00:18:34,113 --> 00:18:38,116
( deep, wavering moan ):
Oh, oh, oh, oh...
405
00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:41,119
The carbonation hits
my bloodstream and I get Ork-faced.
406
00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:42,620
( goofy singing )
407
00:18:42,621 --> 00:18:44,622
( shrieking )
408
00:18:44,623 --> 00:18:47,626
Going home, Mama! Waah!
409
00:18:48,627 --> 00:18:50,512
You're drunk!
410
00:18:54,266 --> 00:18:57,051
Hey, don't take away my gusto!
411
00:18:57,052 --> 00:18:58,052
( goofy shout )
412
00:18:58,053 --> 00:18:59,937
( like Wicked Witch ):
Oh, help me,
413
00:18:59,938 --> 00:19:02,190
I'm melting!
414
00:19:03,692 --> 00:19:05,193
( laughing )
415
00:19:05,194 --> 00:19:08,197
( goofy singing )
416
00:19:10,199 --> 00:19:11,699
I can't believe this.
417
00:19:11,700 --> 00:19:14,202
I got to sober you up.
Come on.
418
00:19:14,203 --> 00:19:15,703
( doorbell rings )
419
00:19:15,704 --> 00:19:17,705
FRED ( calling ):
Mindy...
420
00:19:17,706 --> 00:19:20,208
I'll get it.
No!
421
00:19:20,209 --> 00:19:21,210
You've got to hide.
422
00:19:21,710 --> 00:19:24,212
Oh, Moo-moo...
No, you got to...
423
00:19:24,213 --> 00:19:25,713
Shh, shh, shh.
424
00:19:25,714 --> 00:19:28,717
Woop. Stairway
to the stars!
425
00:19:30,085 --> 00:19:31,552
Shh!
426
00:19:31,553 --> 00:19:34,055
Oh... uh...
427
00:19:34,056 --> 00:19:36,507
Oh, hello, Daddy.
Hi, honey.
428
00:19:36,508 --> 00:19:38,509
I hate to barge in like this,
429
00:19:38,510 --> 00:19:41,012
but Mork called, and I
kind of got to thinking
430
00:19:41,013 --> 00:19:42,897
about the way I acted.
431
00:19:42,898 --> 00:19:45,683
I was out of line, Mindy,
and I want to apologize.
432
00:19:45,684 --> 00:19:47,685
Oh, Daddy, you don't have
to apologize.
433
00:19:47,686 --> 00:19:49,437
You don't have to say
another thing.
434
00:19:49,438 --> 00:19:52,740
Well, I know I didn't
have to, but I wanted to.
435
00:19:52,741 --> 00:19:55,243
You know, it's not easy
being a father, Mindy. I know.
436
00:19:55,244 --> 00:19:57,745
Someday you'll
be a father... you'll understand.
437
00:19:57,746 --> 00:19:59,747
Yeah. ( yawns )
438
00:19:59,748 --> 00:20:01,749
Oh, I'm really getting bushed.
439
00:20:01,750 --> 00:20:03,251
It's getting late.
I'd better get...
440
00:20:03,252 --> 00:20:06,254
Oh, yeah, it's, uh,
nearly... 7:30?
441
00:20:06,255 --> 00:20:08,756
But, then again, it's...
442
00:20:08,757 --> 00:20:10,258
not very often we get to have
443
00:20:10,259 --> 00:20:11,759
these little
father-and-daughter talks.
444
00:20:11,760 --> 00:20:13,261
You know what I mean, Dad?
445
00:20:13,262 --> 00:20:15,264
Just sit down right over here.
446
00:20:19,268 --> 00:20:22,270
You know, honey,
I'm sorry if I'm a little overprotective
447
00:20:22,271 --> 00:20:24,272
about you and
your boyfriends, but this Mork,
448
00:20:24,273 --> 00:20:25,773
I mean, he's a yo-yo,
449
00:20:25,774 --> 00:20:28,276
he's some sort
of a creature from outer space.
450
00:20:28,277 --> 00:20:30,278
Well, I know that's
a strike against him,
451
00:20:30,279 --> 00:20:32,780
but he's really not
that different.
452
00:20:32,781 --> 00:20:34,782
You should just
take a, you know,
453
00:20:34,783 --> 00:20:37,285
a closer look at him sometime.
454
00:20:37,286 --> 00:20:38,786
Oh, is that so?
455
00:20:38,787 --> 00:20:40,788
Well, why don't you take
a really close look...
456
00:20:40,789 --> 00:20:42,290
( screams )
457
00:20:42,291 --> 00:20:43,791
Aw, bummer.
458
00:20:43,792 --> 00:20:46,544
What's he doing here?!
459
00:20:46,545 --> 00:20:48,329
Now, Daddy, don't get excited.
460
00:20:48,330 --> 00:20:49,330
I can explain.
461
00:20:49,331 --> 00:20:51,632
You lied to me!
You broke your promise!
462
00:20:51,633 --> 00:20:53,884
( growling )
Down, boy. Down. Heel, heel.
463
00:20:53,885 --> 00:20:55,386
Sit! Sit!
464
00:20:55,387 --> 00:20:58,256
Well, I didn't break my promise,
465
00:20:58,257 --> 00:21:00,258
but you bullied me into
that promise, you know.
466
00:21:00,259 --> 00:21:02,093
I bullied you into it?
Well, I'm a father!
467
00:21:02,094 --> 00:21:03,594
What are fathers for?
468
00:21:03,595 --> 00:21:06,981
Well, you're just not
gonna do it anymore, Dad, that's all.
469
00:21:06,982 --> 00:21:08,983
I'm 21 years old,
I have my own apartment,
470
00:21:08,984 --> 00:21:11,485
I'm a grown woman,
and if I feel like it,
471
00:21:11,486 --> 00:21:13,854
I'm going to keep
an Orkan in my attic.
472
00:21:13,855 --> 00:21:15,856
Well, I don't feel like it!
473
00:21:15,857 --> 00:21:17,658
So, in other words,
what you're asking is
474
00:21:17,659 --> 00:21:19,160
that I choose between
you and Mork?
475
00:21:19,161 --> 00:21:20,911
Right.
476
00:21:20,912 --> 00:21:22,747
Well, don't force me
to make that choice, Dad.
477
00:21:23,248 --> 00:21:25,750
I'm forcing you.
478
00:21:25,751 --> 00:21:27,252
Mork stays.
479
00:21:29,254 --> 00:21:31,256
Good night, Daddy.
480
00:21:33,625 --> 00:21:34,842
Good night, Daddy.
481
00:21:34,843 --> 00:21:36,711
( honks horn )
482
00:21:36,712 --> 00:21:39,714
Moo-moo says hi, too.
483
00:21:39,715 --> 00:21:42,216
I'm warning you,
if I leave here,
484
00:21:42,217 --> 00:21:43,968
I'm never coming back.
Never!
485
00:21:43,969 --> 00:21:45,770
If that's the way you feel.
486
00:21:46,722 --> 00:21:48,223
( door slamming )
487
00:21:54,229 --> 00:21:56,731
On the other hand,
never is much too long.
488
00:21:56,732 --> 00:21:58,733
Oh, honey.
Oh, Daddy. Oh.
489
00:21:58,734 --> 00:22:00,702
Thanks.
490
00:22:02,120 --> 00:22:03,120
Oh...
491
00:22:03,121 --> 00:22:05,122
Oh, good,
you two are back together.
492
00:22:05,123 --> 00:22:06,991
Mork, you're sober.
493
00:22:06,992 --> 00:22:09,877
Oh, yes, we Orkans only stay
bezurb for 60 seconds.
494
00:22:09,878 --> 00:22:12,380
Well, you were gone
for a good five minutes.
495
00:22:12,381 --> 00:22:13,247
Whew!
496
00:22:13,248 --> 00:22:15,082
I was out for a long time.
Yeah.
497
00:22:15,083 --> 00:22:17,084
Must've really hung one on.
498
00:22:17,085 --> 00:22:20,888
You mean, he's still
staying here tonight?
499
00:22:20,889 --> 00:22:23,724
Yes, Daddy, but nothing
is going to happen.
500
00:22:23,725 --> 00:22:25,226
Do you believe that?
501
00:22:25,227 --> 00:22:27,228
Of course I do, honey.
502
00:22:27,229 --> 00:22:29,230
You gave me your word,
and I trust you.
503
00:22:29,231 --> 00:22:30,231
Thank you.
504
00:22:30,232 --> 00:22:32,733
But I don't trust him.
I'm staying the night.
505
00:22:32,734 --> 00:22:34,735
Oh, good... company.
506
00:22:34,736 --> 00:22:37,738
Well, you can have
my place, Pops...
507
00:22:37,739 --> 00:22:39,741
and I'll camp out.
508
00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:51,502
Mork calling Orson.
509
00:22:51,503 --> 00:22:54,372
Come in, Orson.
510
00:22:54,373 --> 00:22:57,875
( slow motion ):
Mork calling Orson.
511
00:22:57,876 --> 00:23:01,379
Come in, Orson.
512
00:23:01,380 --> 00:23:06,384
( slower ):
Mork... calling... Orson.
513
00:23:06,385 --> 00:23:09,887
Come in... Orson.
514
00:23:09,888 --> 00:23:10,888
ORSON:
Orson to Mork.
515
00:23:10,889 --> 00:23:13,391
Am I coming in loud and clear?
516
00:23:13,392 --> 00:23:16,394
Uh, too loud, too clear.
517
00:23:16,395 --> 00:23:17,812
You're coming in fuzzy.
518
00:23:17,813 --> 00:23:20,030
What's the matter
with your head?
519
00:23:20,031 --> 00:23:21,449
Oh, I'm sending fuzzy.
520
00:23:21,450 --> 00:23:24,452
I think I got a little bezurb
last night.
521
00:23:24,453 --> 00:23:26,821
You're supposed to be
observing the planet,
522
00:23:26,822 --> 00:23:28,789
not running around
getting Ork-faced.
523
00:23:28,790 --> 00:23:31,292
How's the sand holding out?
524
00:23:31,293 --> 00:23:33,794
I've been meaning to talk
to you about that, Orson.
525
00:23:33,795 --> 00:23:35,996
I found a very safe place
to put it...
526
00:23:35,997 --> 00:23:37,214
a cat box.
527
00:23:37,215 --> 00:23:38,215
But that's a...
528
00:23:38,216 --> 00:23:41,168
Yes. That's what
it's worth here, Orson.
529
00:23:41,169 --> 00:23:43,971
Haven't you found out
anything important?
530
00:23:43,972 --> 00:23:48,476
Yes. Believe it or not,
trees are green on Earth.
531
00:23:48,477 --> 00:23:51,979
There's a black liquid that
sells for three dollars a pound,
532
00:23:51,980 --> 00:23:55,483
and it takes two to tango.
533
00:23:55,484 --> 00:23:57,685
I mean,
something really important.
534
00:23:57,686 --> 00:24:02,022
Yes. Remember that girl
I told you about?
535
00:24:02,023 --> 00:24:02,940
Yes.
536
00:24:02,941 --> 00:24:05,576
Well, she did
something very nice.
537
00:24:05,577 --> 00:24:07,495
She defended me
against her father.
538
00:24:07,496 --> 00:24:10,281
That was a very brave
and kind thing to do, and...
539
00:24:10,282 --> 00:24:13,751
I don't know, I...
think I'm coming down with...
540
00:24:13,752 --> 00:24:15,202
♪ Feelings... ♪
541
00:24:15,203 --> 00:24:16,704
for her.
542
00:24:16,705 --> 00:24:18,172
Mork, you know emotions
543
00:24:18,173 --> 00:24:20,090
are hazardous to your health.
544
00:24:20,091 --> 00:24:23,461
Don't start playing around
with that stuff.
545
00:24:23,462 --> 00:24:24,462
No, no. Not me.
546
00:24:24,463 --> 00:24:26,263
You can trust me, sir.
547
00:24:26,264 --> 00:24:27,264
This is Mork,
548
00:24:27,265 --> 00:24:29,967
signing off
from Boulder, Colorado.
549
00:24:31,937 --> 00:24:34,939
Boy, I'm glad
I didn't land in Buffalo.
550
00:24:34,940 --> 00:24:36,858
See you next week, sir.
35701
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