Original subtitles

Come on in.

You can have a seat right there.

Is there anything you'd like to declare before we get started?

No.

Nothing at all? No.

Okay.

Do you know why I brought you back here?

No, actually.

I don't know.

Okay, well, one of our clerks observed you shoplifting downstairs in the

electronics department, and they notified security, and we observed you

video cameras.

That must be a mistake. That must have been someone else.

It's a mistake.

It's a mistake? It wasn't you? No.

A pair of headphones?

Wireless headphones? No?

If I was going to be sure, I'm going to go down this road.

I'm sure, yeah.

Do I look like a criminal?

You know what?

That's not for me to say.

All I can do is go off what my clerk tells me and what I observe with my

cameras. All right, we'll get started then.

I'm going to need your full name.

Do I have to provide this information?

Well, yeah, I mean, you can give it to me or you can give it to the police.

Oh, no.

Well, that seems a bit extreme.

Okay. Your name is?

Bobby.

With a Y?

I -E.

Bobby what?

F -E -L -S.

Bobby's been arrested before.

Am I getting arrested?

No. No, no, you're just being detained for now. We're just questioning you.

Okay.

I don't have the power to arrest you. I would have to notify the local PD, and

they will send a unit down here.

But for my own personal records that we keep here, I need to know if you've been

arrested before. No. No.

No felonies.

Okay.

How tall are you?

I'm 5 '7". What do you weigh?

What has that got to do with anything in my way?

I don't understand.

Well, it's part of our protocols here. We take a full description of each

suspect, and then we do a background check on you, and we'll use this

information to make sure that you are the right person. Sometimes we have

give fake names and fake identification numbers and things of that nature, and

so that's why.

It's just part of our process.

Okay. It's all very simple.

So 5 '7". 5 '7", I'm about 123 pounds.

Thank you.

Okay.

What's your astrological sign?

My what?

Your astrological sign.

What? Like, why does that, what's that got to do with anything?

I'm feeling really, like, nervous about these questions.

Well, what's your birthday?

Um.

My birthday is March 25th. And your astrological sign is what?

Aries.

So, you know, if you didn't know that, I would know that you were lying about

your age, you see.

That's how we trip people up.

That's how we get to the bottom of things here. Okay, okay, fine.

Okay.

Well, you seem like a very sweet girl. You don't seem like the typical person

that I have back here, you know, putting through this.

Are you sure you don't want to just...

with me here and just make my job easier.

I mean, my lunch break's coming up soon, I can... Okay.

No, I'm... Yeah, I really think there's been some misunderstanding here,

honestly.

Okay, well, let's try this. So, if I give you the benefit of the doubt now,

leave you here, I'll go down, I'll take a look at the footage on the video

cameras, I'll talk to the clerk again, I'll see exactly what you're talking

about.

I'm not going to see you...

shoplifting or taking any sort of wireless headphones?

No. No. No.

No. No.

I think maybe she mistook me for someone else, you know?

Okay.

All right.

I'll be back.

See you. This camera is all around, so... Okay.

Hold up.

I looked at the footage.

Unfortunately, your story doesn't match what I see on video.

So at this point, I'm going to ask you to stand up.

Stand right here, please.

This is a metal detector, so let me know if you have anything that belongs to

what was...

There's nothing down there.

What is that back there, Bobby?

Bobby, let me ask you. Let's put your arms to the side.

Sure, there's nothing you want to... Is this necessary?

Is this necessary? Well, yeah, this is part of my search.

Bobby, I...

I know you took those headphones.

You make the job a lot easier if you would just let me know and work with me,

okay?

Okay. Work something out, okay?

Okay.

I'm going to have to do a nice thermal search.

Can you not be so invasive?

Well, I could call a female police officer down here. No, no, no.

Please don't call the police.

Are you sure? I can just give them a call.

No, no, please don't call the police.

Please.

You look pretty nervous about the police getting a call. Do you have a warrant

or something?

Do you want it?

I don't want the police to get involved.

I'm sorry. Look, I'm really, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

That might affect your citizenship, maybe, or your green card.

It's that nature, wouldn't it?

Yeah, a little bit.

A real disadvantage.

Right, wow.

Well, Bobby, I can clearly see there's something in the back of your pants.

So at this point, I'm going to have to ask.

Yeah, I've asked for those clothes.

I have to go through your stuff.

All of them?

Well, yeah, I have to make sure you didn't take any other merchandise.

I didn't, I promise.

I don't think I had necessary.

I don't think I had necessary, I promise. I didn't take anything at all.

Like I said, you cut into my lunch hour pretty soon, so if that's the case, I'll

just ask for a female officer to come down and do the whole cab research.

Of course, you know, if they do come down, it's going to be a much more

search. They'll be down in county and walk up.

Of course, you'll probably be there all day. Probably be there until tomorrow

morning, to be honest with you.

You'll be able to hold things down.

Maybe, you know, trunks and all kinds of other degenerates.

Serious criminals, too.

Okay. Of course, they'll probably notify.

Proper authorities as far as your visa or your green card or whatever the

may be. My visa.

Okay.

Well, it'll be those clothes then, Bobby.

All of them?

Yeah, start with your shoes.

Are you serious?

Okay, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna, oh, it's not bad.

These are the headphones that you didn't take?

I know it looks really bad, but I'm not a thief, okay?

Mm -hmm.

I work out a lot, and everyone at the gym has these, like, wireless headphone

things, and I don't really get it, but apparently it makes your workout easier,

and, you know, this is really unlike me, I promise. Like, this isn't something

that, you know, I would normally do. This is not something that, like, I'm

proud of.

This is really, like...

Extenuating circumstances.

Okay. Because I need to work out. I'm training.

I actually have a pair similar to those.

I get it. I love working out with music and the gym and all that. Yeah.

I mean, they're not terribly expensive.

But I don't understand why I just wouldn't pay for them.

Something of that nature. I don't know. It just seems like such a small thing to

take. I mean, they're expensive. These little, like, wireless things, they're

tiny, and they just seem unreasonably expensive.

Okay, well, I'll need those.

D2? Yeah, well, I mean, we're going to have to do a full cavity search.

Like I was saying earlier, the police cavity search is much more intrusive,

especially down in county jail.

So, I'll need those panties as well.

This just seems like really...

Really extreme.

I mean, usually it doesn't go so well if people usually cooperate.

Once in a while, I'll get someone.

Once in a while, I'll get someone who doesn't really want to cooperate.

So far, so good.

All right. Well, great. Bobby, I'll have you stand right over here.

If you kindly put your hands on the desk.

What are you going to have me do? I don't know. I have to put my hands down.

getting really nervous about all of this.

Well, I mean, I understand.

I mean, you're in a vulnerable situation here. But you put yourself in this room

back here by shoplifting.

And I've given you multiple choices.

I can call the police, which you don't seem overly enthused about.

Or you can let me do my job, which involves a full cavity search.

And then as soon as I'm done, if you don't have any other merchandise, I can

check at least that one box off my list.

So there are protocols.

There's paperwork that I have to fill out, and all the boxes have to be

And then my boss, at the end of the day, goes over my paperwork and makes sure

that everything's okay.

Now, you work with me.

Can you just be really quick about it?

Oh, well, unfortunately, Bobby, for you, I have to be very thorough.

Well, the good news is, depending on what I see, if I like what I see...

If you like it.

Well... If I'm satisfied, I should say,

I might be able to help you out.

Yeah, this is looking good. This is looking really good so far. Looking

Oh, well.

Like I said a minute ago, if I like what I see, I can...

Try and help you out. Nope, you're not done yet.

That was just the first 50.

Now I'm going to do the full stretch, okay?

But you didn't take that long.

Oh, it takes much longer.

I'm actually hungry, so you're getting the speedy treatment.

A little bit of pressure on me.

Okay, bend over a little more.

Are you nearly done?

What do you want? What?

Do you mind looking straight ahead?

I'm just trying to do my job here.

Just making sure.

Well,

good news, Bobby. I didn't find any other merchandise.

You can have a seat right here.

I didn't find any other merchandise, and you've been somewhat cooperative so

far.

The scene where I feel like being generous and I'm in a semi -good mood,

going to give you the opportunity to help yourself.

Okay? Okay.

Is that something you'd be interested in? Yeah.

All right. Well, here's the deal, Bobby.

I can proceed with calling the authorities and have you arrested and

Which my boss would prefer.

But he's not here right now.

So it kind of gives me a little leeway.

You know, just to be honest with you, this job is pretty lonely.

I don't really get out too much.

So sometimes my personal needs get overlooked.

So I can chase around shoplifters all day.

Once in a while, I come across a special shoplifter that I have empathy for.

And I have a little bit of empathy for you in this situation.

So, I'm going to give you the chance to show me how sorry you are for stealing

from my store.

I'm going to give you the opportunity.

I'm going to give you the opportunity, I guess, to go to help yourself.

Get yourself out of this situation.

Are you serious right now?

Well, yes, Bobby. Yes, I am.

I am as serious as it gets.

So, I mean, I think it's a pretty fair deal. I mean, I could, like you said,

have you arrested.

Please don't call the police. They may even deport you or something like that.

Or at least, certainly not renew your paperwork.

So, I mean, I think it's a pretty good deal for me. You get to stay here. You

get to not go to prison.

Not have an arrest, shoplifting, felony charges on you.

A new record.

But, I mean, if you're not interested in that, I can just put this away and we

can just go back to calling the police.

No, no, no. Please, please, please, please, please, please, please don't.

don't. Please.

So, what is it specifically that you want me to do? And are you telling me if

do it, I can just...

leave and the police won't know and nothing will happen? Like, I won't have

issues? Yeah, no, for sure. This won't ever come up, like, anywhere?

For sure. I mean, you won't be able to come back to the store.

You know, that goes without saying.

But yeah, I won't call the authorities. There'll be no arrests.

I'll just give you a warning and I'll put your mugshot photos and all the

stuff into the system.

Only we see that, so.

So what specifically?

Do you want me to do?

Well, I haven't come in a long time.

As you can tell, my dick is pre -coming right now.

So it's pretty lonely here. I don't get too much time to go dating or be with my

girlfriend or anything, so... So you want me to start your dick?

Well, for starters, yeah.

For starters.

And then you promise, like...

How do I know? Like, nothing.

You have my word. I mean, you don't really have too much options.

You don't have choices here.

I guess you're just going to have to gamble and find out if I'm an honest

or not.

But I promise you, if you do a good job and make me come,

I'll let you walk right out that door.

Hell, I'll even let you keep them headphones.

Really? Mm -hmm.

If you do an extra good job.

Sounds pretty fair, right?

Yeah, it does.

Are you sure there's nothing else I can do?

I can't think of anything offhand.

It's one of the few things I can't do myself.

My husband's going to be so pissed.

He's not going to like this whole situation.

Well, I mean, you're not going to tell your husband he was shot with you, are

you?

I won't tell your husband if you don't. How's that?

Is that a deal?

I won't tell anyone if you don't.

Is that how you blow your husband?

No.

Show me how you blow your husband.

I'm feeling very uncomfortable.

I mean, it's a lot more uncomfortable in the back of a police car, isn't it?

In handcuffs.

That's uncomfortable.

Super.

That's better.

That's better.

Come on.

Yeah,

that's it. Oh, that's it. Just like that.

I don't like my husband's balls.

Well, that's why he's not buying you wireless headphones, maybe.

Okay?

Okay, I'll teach you how to do a good little job.

You can go home to your husband, and he'll be much happier with you.

That's it.

Oh,

God, that's... That's... Oh, that's nice.

That's much better.

See?

You're learning a valuable skill set today, too.

That's the advice I'll ask.

You look sad. What's wrong?

Are we done? That's good.

I don't know. I haven't come yet.

You look miserable.

You look disappointed, like this is a punishment or something.

I mean, this is something... This is an opportunity.

Do you not feel that way?

An opportunity?

Well, yeah, to stay out of prison. Or jail.

At least kind of lock up.

Come on.

Merciful.

It's okay.

It's okay.

It's okay.

This is already necessary.

Oh, my God.

That

was the

deal we made, isn't it?

Yeah.

Oh, that's nice and tight.

Thank you.

Awesome.

You can get yourself cleaned up.

Don't forget your headphones.

You're wearing them.

I'm keeping them?

Yeah.

All right.

Now get your clothes.

Okay, hurry up. I can still make my lunch.